THE INNER SELF A HOST TO MY MUSE

 LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO

This is a breeze rewind session noting that I began the plot for today 39 hours and 40 minutes ago, you may find yourself asking in a few minutes what is she going on about and why all this information. To be honest I don’t know why I decided to attack this rewind session like this or even this way, perhaps its because I have no idea what to do in front of an actual audience.

My session is going to be an account on how a particular personality of mine Brigid-Rose perceives the environment and how it helps my creativity.

A lot of my slide titles may not make sense to you but it makes tons of brain to me, plus the images are all to elongate this, they may come in handy maybe I don’t know.

Also there is a lot of text not for you, for me to keep me on track with what I am saying here, seeing as it is a premeditated thought.

Yes at any point feel free to open up and participate with questions, and views. It is after all an interactive session, cut me off but honk first, be polite

KEEP IN MIND

DO YOU REALY KNOW WHO YOU ARE Many people prefer to stick to norms,

those set down patterns to guide their lives, its cool for them really thumbs up, but I always wonder how they sleep at night (asides from the random one night stands and tears on a musty pillows…we all have one of those) I mean how do they sleep at night, with the hollow tin -can labeled MYSELF standing empty, in the corner of their minds.

The moment you begin to identify your individual, you become aware of the main question “who are you….” I always wonder what my answer would be to that infinite question when I die.

Knowing who you are helps you express and it turn you can understand your creative wave lane: singer, artist, wordsmith, whatever.

SELF COMPREHENSION I was 9 years old when I was sent to a

girls only catholic convent Louisville Girls High School. Here I learnt how to be a ‘stereotype’ lady, sit well, speak well, eat well, for real’s we ate bread n stew with cutlery sets. I slowly began to think the world structure of what should be done and how it should be done was slightly archaic and needed correction, but I kept mute before I got a brush with the law. But honestly why must a lady be seen not heard, I really am no extrovert but I learnt to be a nuisance and shred the linen of feminity as a rebellious kid, pity I miss the silence of those days. I noticed then that I was sentimental to songs of freedom but I was no slave, or so I thought.

SELF EXPRESSION When you look into yourself, you begin

to see more, to dream often and before long you begin to create, sing songs from the freedom of your spirit. Everyone has a distinct way of establishing their existence in life. Some people go berserk and create collages using specific human body parts but not us, we express our humanity with the intricate application of words, music and arts (images, illustrations ). I used to hear voices a lot when I was a kid (still do) my family totally ignored it till one day I actually realized I was hearing voices from inside of me and so I decided to listen in on those voices and before I knew it, writing was a way I was adopting to voice out my emotions, well that and eavesdropping on spirits

SELF EXPRESSION : STRATEGY

Believe it or not, you have to have an attack to life up your sleeves somewhere…do you get? No….oh okay, Imagine when Onika Tanya Maraj realized who she wanted to be, and poof she found sponsorship and began to pump her self into Nicki Minaj…the Lewinski we all seem know today. She knew she had a talent and found her route to fame, it did not just happen it was a process. The same way a person decides strategies to express themselves: dress sense, speech patterns and slurs, body postures, fetishes and many random things.

If you have a particular character description you run by, you can begin to flow with the society running your own plot structure without stepping out of line.

SELF EXPRESSION : DREAMS AND VISIONS

Your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. A very nifty bit from the bible, I at times agree to and disagree with. It is never to late to open up your creative mind and tell the world what you’re all about. Limitations always pop up, you get into a block space but the trick is not giving up on it, if not it might be lost forever.

I ask myself how can your creative ingenious be remembered and I decided I could be an activist for issues that affect me the most, like Gender bending one’s(not feminism). How do you do that in the Computer age?

A FINGER TO CREATIVE PROHIBITION

I began to understand the truth at sixteen,that the best of life was meant for beauty queens, hot chicks ,badass rich girlsand high school girls with cream chocolate skin, with eyes that glowed with mock future bright. Who married young and then retired, but not my kind. Valentines never were more than days to mope and indulge in new ways of escape. Evening rendezvous of youth were spent on the beautiful ones, while the rest strayed in corners picking habits, trying to matter, trying to exist. At sixteen I learned the truth. Those of us with ravaged spirits, flames of reality blaze within, ordinary people, lacking in the social graces, desperately remained at home inventing lovers on the phone murmuring obscenities, dreams where freely dashed at us to cash if the luck came. There was more to life than sixteen. So remember those who win the game lose the love they sought to gain in debentures of quality and dubious integrity . While we grew up and bloomed.

A FINGER TO CREATIVE PROHIBITION

Being who you are is a gift many people fail to appreciate and understand, it is a driving force from the soul, it is what makes the difference when 10 people make a bowl of edika-ikong and you can pick a favorite and a worse.

There should never be a slated out way to express one’s self, however certain guidelines on how to go about certain modes of expression like, chorus and verses in lyrics, iambic pentameter's in poetry, certain surgical incision area’s when augmenting body parts and so on. But to truly open up and make a creative statement starts from within. Different issues affect different people at random times, if you don’t agree with it that is fine but when criticizing always keep in mind its an individual creative expression.

A CLEAR INNER SPIRIT I strongly believe that the advent

of sincere, untainted expression comes from a spirit that is balanced and harmonized. I take religion very dearly because it is the hospital that nourishes and restores the wellbeing of the total package; You.

Peace of mind is sure to reward you with clairvoyance , same way a tidy room; clean sheets, air-conditioner or fan blazing, is a guarantee to a great night rest (no mosquitoes included)

MENTAL STATE OF HEALTH MATTERS

For me depression is my basic emotion, hence when I write I focus on deep thinking, what if’s, and hippie themed propaganda. If you’re always chirpy and happy in most cases your creations would appear satirical or comical, except in some rare situations (50:20) where sad people are able to create happy themed creative’s.

REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE All my life I heard so much gist about

myself, same with many creative minds. Today its “you’re living a lie” next day is “you don’t know what you’re doing to your life” the next “get a husband that’s life”. We all judge people like pictures from color books only the color side forgetting to read their pages, each one of us at different times forgetting how it feels to sit at the receiving end. I decided a while that I did not want to self-destruct so I immersed myself into my cause; LIFE.

If you don’t get it, forget it, I really don’t have to explain beyond that.

You have to outline what your stance in life is and slowly, it would be an aura that defines you and everything to produce and interact with.

MY HAPPY PLACE Silence is golden is really not a joke,

the comfort that only silence can give you can only be equated with the feel of drinking spring water upon being rescued from the desert. I believe once in a while (if you don’t already indulge in the practice) you should try some solitude and use the time to review, revise, correct, applaud, caution, adapt etc your life, ask random questions like; I wonder at times if 5 years ago the answer to the question in "5 years time what will u b doing?" is going as planned. I love to evaluate my life, most may think it is a whack job idea but really, its like having a car and never seeing the need to maintain or understand its manuals( I don’t know honestly, I don’t drive) but it just might make sense to someone.

ALWAYS BE BALANCED. EQUAL EVIL, EQUAL GOOD

Never be biased, I personally need to take my own advice seeing as I am quite hypocritical, but sincerely being open minded to various points of views is a way to broaden your creative perspectives, it helps you understand and increase the amount of social, physical, spiritual, and mental planes out there, in turn you have a big box with goodies to select from.

Don’t be myopic in your perception let thing in and let things out. You know what is worth it in the end.

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT AND IF YOU GET PAID AWESOME.

I noticed I found beauty where many people didn’t and that in some way helped define who I was going to slowly grow into. This factor allowed me spread my arms and appreciate versatility in other words I slowly learnt to be tolerant.

Keeping in mind the balance determine for yourself how you want your expression to help you and the society, it is best to always give back to whatever society you identify with, for unknown reasons. Just do it yeah.

Ps these girls are real….its pretty cool.

THE INNER SELF A HOST TO MY MUSE

So I rely on my inner self, Brigid to help me organize my thoughts and processing before I can relate it down in creative expression, be it music or writing. My inner self is hardly aware of what goes on outside but is very conscious, always busy with thoughts I can’t be bothered to answer and briefing me at any given time. I don’t even know how this is a point but credit has to be given to the backstage acts.

Guess in the end I managed to make some sense out of all this to myself and hopefully you either learnt something, or where entertained or even trapped in the “what the…” bubble, but that’s all good.

Have a good weekend, goodnight.

BIRTHDAYS ARE NOT FOR DYING