Mediation Trainingfor Teenagers
Trainer's Manual
Writing/Com~lin~ Team
Lyn MarxHelena Cornelius
Sonya HaI1
The Conflict Resolution NetworkPO Box 1016 Chatswood NSW AUSTRALIA.Phone: (02) 419 8500
PEEL DISTRICTEDUCATION OFFICE
1 . Training Manual for School Mediation, Hawaii School MediationAlliance .
2 . Project SMART .
3 . Articles by Albie Davis .f
4 . "The Magic of Conflict", Thomas Crum (Simon & Schuster) .
(Full copies of articles and Thomas Crum's book are availablethrough The Conflict Resolution Network .)
My grateful thanks to all sources for the inclusion ofselected pages in this manual .
The program I taught consisted of one roll call class per weekwith the students and one lunchtime on the same day . In thelunchtimes, I tended to schedule simulations so that it would allseem like fun while they at lunch .
The students found it difficult attending all the lunchtimesessions although they kept their commitment well . In theTraining Evaluation most students and the two trainers thoughtthey would prefer a 2-5 day workshop rather than weekly sessionsover a period of time . One suggestion was to offer two workshopsto Year 9 at the end of the year - one in Mediation and one inPeer Support Taining - students would then have the option tobecome Mediators OR Peer Support Leaders .
LYN MARX
In this packet you will find a combination of materials that wereorganised to implement a Mediation Program at The Emanual School,Randwick, Sydney . Among the many sources that I used to help mewere :
-r
CONFLICT RESOLUTION MEDIATION TRAINING
TERM 1 .
TUESDAY : TUTOR PERIOD AND LUNCH
WEEK 1 : Introduction
WEEK 2 : The Mediation ProcessObserving ConflictActive Listening
WEEK 3 : Active Listening StartersLevels of Conflict
Simulation 1 : Getting StartedDiscuss and Evaluate
WEEK 4 : Mediation QuestionsNon-verbal Communication
Simulation 2Discuss and Evaluate
WEEK 5 : Brainstorming
Simulation 3Discuss and Evaluate
WEEK 6 : Avoiding Pitfalls in MediationConflict Causes
Simulation 4Discuss and Evaluate
WEEK 7 : Conflict Resolution StylesConflict Resolution Inventory
Simulation SDiscuss and Evaluate
WEEK 8 : Mapping the Conflict
Simulation 6 --VideoDiscuss and Evaluate
WEEK 9 : 1 . Agreement Writing
2 . Watch last week's video
3 . Planning strategies for implementing in Term 2
4 . Referral Process
Week 1 :
Review Mediation ProcessBrainstorm Mediation Program Name
Week 2 :
Brainstorm ways of informing the schoolDecide who',s going to do whatVideo Simulation
Week 3 :
Review Referral ProcessPrepare Presentations
Week 4:
Present Presentations
I
Infants School
II
Primary SchoolCor 3/4 & 5/6)
III
High SchoolC7/8 & 9/10/11 )
Week 5 :
Open - Review of Presentations
CONFLICT RESOLUTION MEDIATION TRAINING
TERM 2
IMPLEMENTATION
. informal
. referral
. mediation room .
6 . Discuss
MEDIATION WEEK 1
INTRODUCTION
9 .SSam to 10 .30am
1 . Read student report on mediation . Explain mediation program :
. How they've done it in other schoolsThis is a pilot program - exciting and new
2 . Training this term :Explain training practise sessions .
3 . Prepare presentation t'o show teachers and students . Audiotape .
4 . How it can happen at our school :
5 . Handout materials, read by next Tuesday .
SMART - School Mediators Alternative Resolution Team
MEDIATION : AN INTRODUCTION
Mark borrowed some money from John . John asked Mark to returnthe money several times . Mark, however, always had an excuse fornot giving the money back to John . One day, in between classes,John got into a fight with Mark when he tried to get his moneyback .
The above situation is an example of a conflict that might havebeen prevented by mediation . Once the conflict happened, it alsocould then be resolved by mediation . If you were a mediator youcould help solve this dispute .
What is mediation? Mediation is simply the settling of problems,disputes, or conflicts by trained people called mediators .Although mediation will not work with every type of problem, itcan resolve a great many everyday school problems .
Many students, teachers, school administrators, parents andpeople from the community are now using mediation in schools inHawaii as a way of solving disputes . At the end of this trainingyou should be able to mediate many kinds of school disputes .
Basically, the mediation process is fairly simple . Mediators meet withthe people who are in conflict (disputants) in the same room . Each disputantDelis his/her story and how he/she feels about the problem . Then eachdisputant meets separately (caucus) will : the mediator . All parties returnfir additional face-to-face discussion . Additional caucuses are held when
` ~~ecessary in order to find possible solu~ions to the problem . In searchingr r~or solutions, mediators explore sore points in the disputants' relationship .
: "ediators try to help the people in conflict work out whatever misunderstanding.:nd bad feelings they may have toward one another .
During that part of the mediation, amen in trying Co get the people inconflict to come to an agreement, mediate ; -s help the disputants to understand~.~~hat consequences await them if they should fait to reach ar agreement on theirown through mediation .
Mediators are not judges or counsela .-s . What they try to do is act as aGo-between for the people in dispute . Me~?iators are trained to listen care-~ully, without blaming one party or the other . They let each person present;~is/her own side of the conflict .
Finally, if and when an agreement is reached by the disputants, they areorought together to write and sign their agreement .
Mediation : ^,n Explanation
In most cases, disputants prefer mediation for many reasons to other wayssettling a problem .
Remember, mediation is only a methoc . It involves certain skills which:an be taught to most people such as lis~ening and questioning .
It also.;nvolves things that cannot be taught suc:~ as a sense of timing, a feeling
aloha, and intuition . There is no one complete set of rules you can usemediate conflicts . The most important resource is yourself . In mediation,
you put yourself into a quarrel with the idea of helping the disputants reachan agreement . It will be their agreemenr,, not yours . You are the helper,tfl~ thi rd party .
The purpose of mediation is to help Disputants get to the bottom of:izeir own problems and Co hc;lp than devil ..: Clieir own solutions and not to.;~_dge
gc: i 1 t
or
innocence .
Med i ~~ t i on
dea' : ;
d i rec t l y
w i th
the
re l a t i on sh i p:ctween two parties in conflict . The question of right and wrong is notimportant . It is a dead-erd when trying ~.:o solve the reasons for the dispute .'~~~:diction is concerned with the future actions and behavior of both disputants .:shat is the best agreement that can be worked out by both disputants whichevoids the problem once they leave mediation? How can both disputants besta ;:t toward one another when they come into contact after they leave mediation?
A mediator helps the parties in co~f'.ict focus on the future rather than:-~ questions of punishment, revenge, who ;s to blame, and what happened in
t :e past . Disputants are probably not abi ;: or willing to listen to one another .~~ ;;:nmun i ca t i on wi th one another may have t. :~~ken down i n the heat of their d i spate .
-; ' ;e way
they see and
think about one ano Wer may be
twisted and may have;~Cten worse because of reasons oe!~er ti~ar; ehose which brought them into":onflict at this point . Goth believe tf~ey are right and that their response_~ the problem is correct . Both parties ~,~ill usually feel that the otherperson is to blame . Very often, both disputants want the other to be;:unished . Most often, both parties want the problem solved because it is~~~using them trouble, but they do not kno~~ how to solve it . Mediation can'.- : "---.Ip in the solution .
rIn a great sense, mediators help disputants "make-up" . The key terms
~-e : come to an agreement, make a settlement, meet me half-way, give-and-:ake, adjust differences . These are "soft" phrases, phrases that can heapdisputants loosen their positions a bit . As a mediator, your job is notto create a situation like a court where one party wins and one party loses .Instead, the mediator tries to~establish both a willingness to negotiate andconditions which will help to make a sett'ement . Mediation is an "even-even"situation . Both sides come away with something . Both sides give-in a little .8 ;,th sides have been given the chance to ;ay what they think and how they feel .
Finally, a word of warning . Mediation may not always be successful .! ; : may work for some kinds of people and problems and not for others . Somed~sputes may need other ways to be solved_
I . Responsibilities of mediators
11 . Why mediation?
All mediators must do the following :
- Complete training- Be available to mediate (on call, free period, after school)- Agree to make up all school work missed'- Encourage others to use mediation to settle problems- Help the mediation project coordinator to do class presentations
Mediation can do the following :
- Help settle problems before they get serious- Show
that students can do things for themselves- Improve school climate- Reduce campus tension
III . Types of problems you will handle
Mediators can help resolve the following conf licts :
FightsNear fightsRumors -OutsidersTeacher/studentBoyfriend/gi rl friendMoney and propertyFamily tensions
IV . Types of problems you will not handle
Mediators will not touch disputes involved with the following :
- Weapons- Drugs- Assaults
Outline -of - the School Mediation - Program
V . What a mediator is
A mediator must act in the following manner :
VI . What a mediator is not
A mediator does not act in the following ways :
- As a counselor- As a judge- As a lawyer- As an advice giver
Stays neutralDoesn't take sidesTreats people with great respectTreats problems with respectKeeps things in confidenceDoesn't give people direct advice
VII . Ideas you will learn
The following concerns 'will be discussed :Conflict and changePeer pressureRumoursBeing neutral and impartialProblem-solving : process and skills
VIII . Mediation skillsPractice will be provided for the following
experiences :* Listening skills
Question formation (open-ended, closed,informational, clarifying)
Non-verbal communicationBrainstormingAgreement writing
IR .
Other Information and PlanningMediation roomBadges?PublicityPresentations for classesVideo-tapingReferrals (administrators, teachers,
counsellor)Conflict intervention : Your choice
X .
The Mediation Process
students
1 . Preparation2 . Opening statement
*
Hope we
can
~ wo rk
this
outConfidential and voluntaryNeutral and not prejudiced-won't take sidesThe processNotesGoal : Written agreementGround rules : no name calling, no interrupting,
no fighting3 . Disputant make statements4 . Find points of agreementS . Ask both sides for suggestions on solutions .6 . Agreement writing
I Let's begin
A . Do you all still have your exercise books from peersupport training?
1, if so, continue to use them in mediation training .
2 . if not, get an exercise book you can use .
3 . tell old rabbinical tale .
B . Imagine you are in a conflict with someone else and youcould get a third person in to help you both . Whatattitudes and qualities would you want that person tohave?
1 . Form into groups of three and see how many attitudesand qualities you can come up with .
a) scribeb) spokesperson
2 . Spokesperson shares with group, by writing list up onboard so everyone can record it .
3 . Discuss
MEDIATION WEEK 2
THE PROCESS
C . Pass out folders with Mediation : The Process
1 . Go through and explain, also these are the skillsyou'll be taught .
2 . Know 1 . and 2 . well as we'll do a simulation nextweek .
D . Observing conflict Cin exercise book)Think of a conflict you have been in or observedrecently :
1 . What was the conflict about?2. How did the people feel?3 . What must be changed to resolve the conflict?4 . Did change happen? If yes, what and how?5 . If there was no change, why not?6 . Was there a different way to resolve the conflict?7 . How could you have mediated the conflict?
E . At lunch bring textas, nothing else is necessary .
1 . Lunch 12 .15pm to 12 .30pm, can eat together here orcome after you've eaten .
a) we will begin promptly at 12 .30pm .
LUNCH SESSION
I
Active Listening (reflective) (Reference : 100 Ways toDevelop Self-Esteem in the Classroom, pg 75J .
A .
Create a puzzle :
Large cardboard orpaper . Number ofjigsaw pieces =number of students .
Keep one sheet as abackground, whole .
Chop up a copy of thebackground sheet .
Hand one piece of the puzzle to each student . On thisthey will draw their personal symbol .
B .
Each student draws a symbol of our times, a symbol ofwhat is happening in the world right now as they see ite .g . peaceful, violent, fun . Draw something thatrepresents that .
1 . Make it your own symbol .2 . Symbol of your feelings .
C .
Put your piece on the puzzle background . The end resultis a collage of everyone's symbols .
D .
Everyone talks about their symbol and encourage studentsto listen to the feelings behind their words . This isan exercise in active listening which is very importantin mediation and most interpersonal communication .
1 . Listen to feelings not only words .
2 . Give us practice in hearing another person'sfeelings and checking back .
3 . Experience having your feelings heard .
4 . Teacher demonstrates example with someone's symbol :
a) Someone tells what their symbol represents .b) Teacher reflects student's feelings .
E .
Make distinction between feelings in person and in thesymbol .
F .
Possibly pair up . Share, using the active Listeningskills .
G .
Come back together and ask each person :
1 . Do you think your feelings were heard?2 . Would you like to add anything to what was heard?
i
;r.J
THOMAS CRUM : "MAGIC OF CONFLICT" (Simon ~ Schuster)
oc~e to Cccrea~e
What a st :tinge machine man is! You fill him with bread, wine, fishand radisi;ca, and out o` him come sighs, laughter ono' drecms .
Nikos KozontzckisZorba the Greek
There is on ~id rc~"oinic tale which goes :
lv vri l!m~ 1 urn:' ~ :,~r~r,l to the Rrrhhi, "r -~uT, r. . ! will ;how yoo Hr,ll. "
I!ley entere~ !r rOOr`1 w;1Fre a group Uf N~eG,U!e SCI UrO:Jnd U hUiJ. c ti.~~i
of stew . Everyor- ::, v~c~ fcmished one desperate . f_cch held o spoon t;.c, ;reached the pot i;ut hod a handle so long that it could not be used to recci :their mouths . Th--' suffering was terrible .
"Come, nov~ i v." ili ,how you Hecver,," the Lcrd said gfter c vr77iie .They enterec'. ancther room, identical to the first-the oat cf stev~, rh~
group of peop ~-, the some long spoons . But, there, everyone ~Ngs hc;gpvand nourished.
"! don't und.,~sued," scid the Rabbi . "Why ere they poppy here w"hevthey were miserui:i~ in the other room, ~nd ever~r:nir,c was the sorr.e?"
The Lord sm~ieu 'Ah, but don't you see?" he asFed . "Here they haveiecxrned to tees : ry7rh other."~.:
Cocreation i$ ~ ncturai result of accepting our connectedness tohe world arour.ci us and recognizing its indisputable interdeper~~dente . Cocreotio - is being open to synergistically creating systemsIful ~urvu IE ;,~ m ;,~i~ ;r ;,c : c~f wlviclr yuu uru uo irluyrul ycnl uric! lira!support your over~~il vision and deep sense of purpose in fife .
173
refer to it often .
3 .
Statements by disputants :
MEDIATION : THE PROCESS
The following is an outline for the School Mediation process .
Read the outline carefully, keep it nearby because you~will want to
2 . Opening statement by mediator includes :
1 .
Preparation by mediator includes :a . Check lighting, temperature,~noise level, privacy of room .b . Arrange furniture .
.c. Introduction of mediators) and disputants .
. .d'. Welcome to mediation process .
a . We hope problem can be worked out .b . Mediation process is confidential and voluntary .c . Mediator is neutral and not prejudiced .d . Explanation of the entire mediation process (points 3-9)e . Mediator takes notes .
.f. The goal of mediation is a written agreement .g . The mediation ground rules are as follows : no name calling,
no threatening, no interrupting, no swearing, and no fighting .
a . Ask which disputant wishes to go firstb . Disputant listening cannot interruptc . live each one repeat what the other person said .
4 .
Summarize what you think each side is saying and make sure that eachperson understands how the other person perceives the issue .
5 . Ask each person how they feel (to let them know both are hurting) .
6 . Find points of agreement . (Both have the problem etc .)
7 . Ask both sides for suggestions on solutions . Help evaluate .
8 . Help them come to a fair agreement, one both can live with .
9 . Agreement Writing includes :
a . Right names of disputants which are correctly spelled .b . Clear statements .c . Simple and specific statements .d . All major points agreed upon .e . Naming both disputants in statements .f . Reading statements to disputants while writing them .g . Make follow-up arrangements .
A C T I V E L I S T E N I N G S T A R T E R S .
The basic idea of active-listening is to demonstrate to the other personthat (a) you are listening to them; (b) that there is room for them tocorrect themselves if you've heard it wrong ; and (c) to make them feelheard .
Active listening takes practice .
Here are some ,lead-in phrasesthat might help you to summarize, paraphrase, rephrase and acknowledge :
I'm picking up that . . .As I get it, you felt . . .Sort of a feeling that . . .Sort of saying . . .Kind of ~ feeling like . . .If I'm hearing you correctly . . .To me it's almost Like you're saying . . .Sort of hear you saying that you. . .Kind of made you feel . . .The thing you feel most is . . .So, you feel . . .What I hear you saying is . . .So, as you see it . . .As I get it, you're saying . . .What I guess I'm hearing is . . .I'm not sure I'm with you but . . .I somehow sense that maybe you feel . . .You feel . . .I really hear you saying . . .I wonder if you're expressing a concern that . . .It sounds as if you're indicating a concern about . . .I wonder if you're saying . . .You place a high value on. . .It seems to you . . .Like right now you believe . . .You often feel . . .You feel, perhaps, that . . .You appear to be feeling . . .It appears to you . . .As I hear it, you . . .So, from where you sit . . .Your feeling now is that. . .I read you as saying. . .Sometimes you . . .Your message seems to be, "I . . .Listening to you it seems as if . . .I gather . . .-So your world is a place where you . . .You communicate a sense of . . .
13
Nothing is said . It may even bedifficult to identify what the problemis, but things just don't feel right .
~ Here a minor outward clash occurs,without. any significant internalreaction.
The parties begin to have negativeimages and perceptions of each other .
Negative attitudes and stances are added tothe negative images and perceptions .
Behaviour is affected, normal functioning becomesdifficult, extreme gestures are contemplated orexecuted .
quite sure why?
hisunderstanding : Do
Tension : Has the waysignificantly changed
Incident : Has something occurredthat has hurt your feelings, leftsomething that won't suit you?
LEVELS OF CONFLICT
HOW BAD HAS IT GOT?
Crisis : Are you dealing with a major eventin a relationship, possibly being expelled,
Tensions
Discomfort : Do you feel uncomfortable about a situation, but not
between you and someone elseyou irritated or left you with
you find yourself worrying aproblem you have with another person?
lot about a
you feel about and regard the otherfor the worse?
person
like~a major ruptureviolence?
1 4
Copyright.
T~~e ConfPict Reso~utioil Netn~orhBox 1016. Chatswood. N .S.W. 2057. Aust (02) 419 8500.
May be reproduced H this notice appears .
L I S T E'N
Listen! All I asked was that you listen .Not talk or do - just hear me .
Advice is cheap : 10 cents will get you both Dear Abby andBilly Graham in the same newspaper .
And I can DO for myself ; I'm not helpless .Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless .
When you do something for me that I can and need to dofor myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness .
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,no matter how irrational, then I quite trying to convinceyou and can get about the business of understanding what'sbehind this irrational feeling .And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don'tneed advice .
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what'sbehind them .
So, please listen and just hear me and, if you want to talk,wait a minute for your turn ; and I'll listen to you .
Anonymous
When I ask you to listen to meand you start giving adviceyou have not done what I asked .
When I ask you to listen to meand you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,you are trampling on my feelings .
When I askF
you to listen to meand you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,you have failed me, strange as that may seem .
Simulation 1
MEDIATION : SKILL EXERCISES
1 . Practice in preparation and opening statement . Refer to 1 .Preparation and 2 . Opening Statement sections in HandoutWeek 2 "Mediation : The Process" .
16
This simulation only covers the first two steps in themediation process . It gives you a chance to practicepreparing for the mediation and making the opening statement .You will take turns being a disputant and a mediator untileach person can do the preparation and opening statementcorrectly and comfortably . Take your time and help eachother out .
This case involves two students who were fighting about moneythat one borrowed from the other :
"Mark borrowed some money from John . John asked Mark toreturn the money several times . Mark, however, always had anexcuse for not giving the money back to John . One day, inbetween classes, John got into a fight with Mark when hetried to get his money back ."
Remember when it is your turn to .b e mediator, you may want tohave with you the list of the important points you want toremember to tell the disputants . Keep the list where you cansee it ifi you need it while you practice making the openingstatement .
1 .
Two students are to act as mediators .
2 .
Two students are to act as disputants .
3 .
Change roles, so that everyone plays both parts .
4 .
Repeat the simulation until everyone can do it right andwith ease .
5 .
Refer to Preparation and Opening Statement C1 . and 2, in"Mediation : The Process" Week 2) .
I
Check everyone has :
II Icebreaker
foldersexercise bookpen or pencil
A .
Choose a feeling you feel today that you want to mimefor group . Possibly choose from "List of Feelings . . ."handout .
1 . group guesses what it is .
III Observing Conflict
A .
What sort of conflicts have you noticed in theplayground?
(Students really need to talk about their own conflicts .)
1 . How could you mediate?
2 . How objective are you able to stay while observingconflict?
3 . Can you stay away from thinking 'right' or 'wrong'?
IV Arm wrestle - win/win .
V
Hand out and discuss "Mediation Questions" .
VI Mediation Questions
MEDIATION WEEK 4
MEDIATION QUESTIONS
NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
SIMULATION
A .
Read around the group with each person describing whenthey would ask that question .
VII Decide who will do mediation simulation at lunchtime .
17
LUNCH
Simulation 2 - bring students to~the point of agreement writing .
Tony and Bob have been good friends for several years - sincethird class . They are now in year 8 and are formingdifferent interests from each other . Tony is reallyinterested in girls and Bob is very serious about hisstudies . Recently, Tony has started picking on Bob, makingfun of him for the way he acts in front of girls, mimickingthings he says in class, and has even bullied him physicallyin the playground .
Bob feels hurt, angry, and also sad about possibly losingthis friendship ,with Tony . He came to see the SchoolCounsellor not knowing what to do about it . she suggestedBob and Tony have a mediation session and both boys agreed toit .
Observers :
How closely did the mediators stick to the process?
If they deviated, was that useful?
How were their Active Listening skills?
What level of conflict do you think the boys are at?
Did they use the mediation questions?
What non-verbal communication did you observe and did themediators respond to that?
Stay objective . Watch out for any bias .
More information . Focus on vision .
18
Focus more on feelings . Start with Bob because he initiated theproblem . Ask them for answers - don't give them yourself . Focuson vision - what both parties want .
"Why?" is not a useful question . There is usually not an answer .
LIST OF FEELINGS THAT PERSONS HAVE BUT OFTEN FAIL TO IDENTIFY
AbandonedAdequateAdamantAffectionateAgonyAlmightyAmbivalentAngryAnnoyedAnxiousApatheticAstounedAwed
Bad BeautifulBetrayedBitterBlissfulBoldBoredBraveBurdened
CalmCapableCapitvatedChallengedCharmedCheatedCheerfulChildishCleverCombativeCompetitiveCondemnedConfusedConspiciousContentedCont riteCruelCrushedCulpable
DeceitfulDefeatedDelightedDesirousDespairDestructiveDeterminedDejectedDifferentDiffidentDiminishedDiscontentedDistractedDistraughtDisturbedDominatedDividedDubious
JealousJoyousJumpy
EagerEcstaticElectrifiedEmptyEnchantedEnergeticEnervatedEnjoyableEnviousEstrangedExcitedEvilExasperatedExhausted
FascinatedFauningFearfulFlusteredFoolishFranticFrustratedFrightenedFreeFullFurious
GayGladGoodGratifiedGreedyGrievedGroovyGuiltyGullable
HappyHatefulHeavenlyHelpfulHelplessHighHomesickHonouredHorribleHurtHysterical
IgnoredImmortalImposed uponImpressedInfatuatedInfuriatedInspiredIntimidatedIso fated
KickyKindKeen
LaconicLazyLecherousLeft outLicentousLonelyLongingLovingLowLustful
MadMaudlinMeanMelancholyMiserableMystical
NaughtyNervousNiceNiggardlyNutty
ObnoxiousObsessedOddOpposedOutragedOverwhelmed
PainedPanickyParsimoniousPeacefulPersecutedPet ri f i edPitifulPleasantPleasedPrecariousPressuredPrettyPrimPrissyProud
QuarrelsomeQueer
RagingRupturedRefreshedRejectedRelaxedRelievedRemorsefulRestless
ReverentRewardedRighteous
SadSatedSatisfiedScaredScrewed upServileSettledSexyShockedSillySkepticlaSneakySolemnSorrowfulSpitefulStartledStingyStuffedStupidStupefiedSufferingSureSympathetic
TalkativeTempedTenaciousTenseTentativeTerribleTerrifiedThreatenedTiredThwartedTrappedTroubled
UglyUneasyUnsettled
ViolentVehementVitalVulnerableVivacious
WickedWonderfulWeepyWorried
ZanyZestfulZealousZippy
FUNCTION DEFINITION
Non-verbal _listeningskills
Def : non-verbal" behaviours which
transmit attention,caring .
Reflective listeningParaphras- i -ng
Def : brief responseto what is heard ascontent of message .
Reflection offeeling
Def : mirroring backin own words theemotion speaker iscommunicating .
Open questions
Def : questions thatencourage open-endresponses, helpdisputant exploreissues, feelings .
Summarising
Def : brief statementwhich reviewsspeaker's mainpoints .
PREMISE
Communicates interest,trustworthiness,respect to disputants .
Communicates mediators'interest, desire foraccuracy . Assistsdisputants'understanding .
Labelling feelings(stated or implied)legitimises them,assists~in processing .
Mediator has right toquestion . Helps tounderstand disputants'situation, world view .Helps disputant focus,explore issues .
Helps pull disputant'sthinking together,crystallise, condensekey points .
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR TEACHER
TECHNIQUES Y
a . face squarelyb . open posturec . lean forwardd . comfortable eye
contacte . relaxedf . minimal encouragers .
Repeat back todisputant essence ofwhat is perceived ascontent of message .
Repeat back todisputant essence ofwhat is perceived asunderlying feelings inmessage .
Ask questions like"why, how, when, whatif etc" . Ask questionsthat have wide focus .
Give brief selectivestatement of mainthemes <or feelings)expressed by disputantsover time .
POSSIBLE OUTCOMES
Disputants feel valued,heard, understood .Mediators gainunderstanding, empathy .
Disputants increase ownunderstanding, feetfeel valued, respected .Mediators gainunderstanding, trust .
Disputants are assistedin identifying 'andowning feelings .Feel accepted .Mediators feel concern,support, empathy .
Disputants gain self-awareness throughexploration .Mediators gainunderstanding .
EXAMPLES
Disputants feel listenedto, valued . Gainincreased self-awareness . Empowered .Mediators gainunderstanding,opportunity to correctown misperceptions .
Mediator nods head, smilesencouragingly . "Tell memore ."
"I came here today to seeif we could work out someway'to stop fighting overthe kids .""So a goal for you wouldbe to work on yourconflict with Ed ."
"So he says he'll keep th'esports car and I can havethe old Datsun, if itstill works!""Are you saying you'refeeling kind of resentfulabout how he wants todivide the property!"
"Tell me more about howyou see the situation .""How did you decide . . .""What other possibilities
...~Wh yo ~~
"Could you say more?"
"As you explore your areasof concern, Joan, severalthemes seem to come up :your uncertainty aboutraising Stevie on yourown, sadness that yourmarriage is ending, andexcitement and optimismfor the future ."
riediation Questions
2 1
l . Were you friends before this happened?
2 . Are you still friends?
3 . Does this keep you from being friends?
did you know each other before this?
Oo you have classes together? How are you going to handle that?
6 . Can you tell me more about?
7 . Next time you want something . . .do you think you could ask in a nice wayf i rs t?
$ . How do you think you cau'ld have handled it better?
9, Summarize what you have just told me .
-
10. Could it be that the person who told you that, wanted to see a fight?
11 .
How would you do it dif~erently if it happens again?
12 .
ls~ the person who told you that a friend of yours?
i3 ., Summarize what you have just told me .
14 . She next time that happens, will you make it a point to check out therumor first?
l5 . What can you do to help solve the problem?
16 . Oo you want to go on fighting?
77. Do you see~how~you can avoid trouble by just asking in a nice way?
1$ . Did you do that by accident?
19 . Susan probably didn`t do that on purpose - did you, Susan?
20 . Now that you know you can hurt each other by name-calling, will you notdo it anymore?
2t . What are you wilting to do . to solve this problem? -
_
22.
1dhaL ~if (other side} can`t accept your suggestion; : can~~you .think ofanythinc; else?
. - . _
v
. _ .fi3
l5al:e~sure you 'tall your friends Ll~~at the s.'stuaLion .is ."dead".
2~ . ~ Next time you hear . at~aut sorr~Ethii-,a~ i ike tl-rat ; wi II you let ustry . to work
i t oui
f i r~st?
MEDIATION WEEK 5
BRAINSTORMING
SIMULATION
~6 . Introduce non-verbal communication .
a .
Discuss listening beyond people's words .
b .
Brainstorm body Language signs that Let us know what isbeyond the verbal communication .
7 .
Take four students out, of the room, ask two of them to thinkof a happy time they have had and two to think of a sad time .
1 .
Each to describe to the group using body language asthough the situation was the opposite of how it actuallywas i .e . the students who had the sad time describe itas though it was happy .
2 .
What do you believe? What clues do you read? Where doyou see the discrepancies?
Introduction (From "Classroom Strategies . . ."Albie Davis)
"Few of us want to risk having our ideas rejected or ridiculed .It's easier to talk freely when we feel that our ideas will berespected . Several stages build that atmosphere of respect,Including :
2 2
1 . Seeing each other as three-dimensional human beings . Spendsome time with your students at the beginning of the unitdoing introductory "icebreaker" exercises . Go beyond havingstudents say their names and use techniques that draw outmore information . For example, pair up students wiht othersthey don't know well and ask them to spend a few minutesinterviewing their partner . Bring the group back togetherand have each person introduce the person they interviewed tothe full group . This is a good preliminary listeningactivity . For many people it is easier to talk about someoneelse in front of a large group than it is to talk aboutthemselves . Also, students often learn things about eachother they might not have otherwise come to know .
2 . Introduce basic brainstorming or "no-criticism" techniques ofidentifying solutions to a problem . Brainstorming is aneasy, effective and proven way of generating ideas . Thebenefits are many . The rules are simple :
a)
Generate as many ideas as possible in the time allowed.
b)
Do not initially .discuss, comment on or criticise anyidea, no matter how zany .
c)
Immediately, quickly and in full view, record every ideamentioned .
After writing these rules on the blackboard and discussingthem with your students, give students an opportunity to testbrainstorming out through an activity such as "The Belt" .
3 . The Belt
a .
Divide the class into groups consisting of up to sixpersons each . Designate a recorder who will write onnewsprint every single idea generated by the. group .
2 3
b .
Announce that each group has been shipwrecked on adeserted tropical island . They have lost everything butthe bathing suits they are wearing . All they have leftis a Leather belt with a metal buckle . Tell them thatthey have seven minutes to generate as many ideas aspossible about how they might use the belt . Remind themof the no-criticism rule and tell them not to worryabout the quality of their lists ; concentrate onquantity .
c .
After seven minutes announce that each group has anotherten to fifteen minutes to select and circle its threebest choices . The no-criticism rule is Lifted at thistime . Give a two minute and one minute warning as thetime limit nears .
d .
Collect the newsprint and post it at the front of theroom . Ask a spokesperson from each group to read itslist and to note the top three choices .
e .
Conduct a discussion of the experience . Ask thestudents how they felt during the brainstorming processand what they noticed . What was the impact of the nocriticism rule? Did anyone find it was difficult toabide by it? Did the no-criticism rule encourage peopleto participate who normally didn't? Did the acceptanceof the zany ideas make it easier for some toparticipate? Ask them if they might apply the processto their own lives . Find out how they selected thethree best ideas . Did some of the best ideas appeartoward the bottom of the list, suggesting that the zanyideas stimulated good ones?
Such discussions usually confirm that because of the no-criticism rule, (1) longer lists are generated than wouldotherwise be possible, C2) more students offer ideas thanusual, (3) students are willing to take risks and put forthmore outlandish ideas, and (4) wild ideas often generatesound ones . Encourage students to try out the approach ofwithholding criticism in their own lives and to report backthrough their journals or class discussion on the results .
C4 . (If time permits .)
Now that your students are familiar with brainstormingtechniques, you might want to ask them to help develop a setof guidelines for encouraging open and creative classroomdiscussions . Ask them to brainstorm a List of the irritatingthings people do to one another during hot discussions . Whatsort of things shut people down or result in their utteringrash statements? You~will usually end up with a list thatincludes such items as, "I hate it when someone doesn'tlisten to me", or "I don't Like it when my ideas are calledstupid", or "It bugs me when people don't let me finish whatI'm saying", or "I can't stand it when someone says I saidsomething that I didn't say ."7
" 6 . Introduce non-verbal communication .
4
C5 . CIf time permits .)
LUNCH
Next, ask the class to brainstorm a set of guidelines thatwill soften some of the .shutdowns listed above, such as C1)listen to each person carefully, C2) let people finish theirthoughts, but share time, C3) disagree with the ideas andgive reasons, but do not call people or their ideas stupid,C4) if you are not sure what someone said, ask them toclarify their thoughts .] "
a) Discuss listening beyond people's words .
b) Brainstorm body Language signs that let us know what isbeyond the verbal communication .
7 . Take four students out F of the room, ask two of them to thinkof a happy time they have had and two to think of a sad time .
1 . Each to describe to the group using body language asthough the situation was the opposite of how it actuallywas i .e . the students who had the sad time describe itas though it was happy .
2 . What do you believe? What clues do you read? Where doyou see the discrepancies?
Simulation 3
"One day as Mrs Shoji entered her room, she saw a crowd of girlssurrounding two girls who were students in her class . One of thegirls, Kerry, was shouting at the other girl, Nicky . Kerry wasscreaming, "You are always telling lies about me ; you spreadrumours that I shoplift and hang out with a gang of toughtroublemakers . I don't do those things and if you don't stoptelling those stories about me, I'm going to punch you out ."
Mrs Shoji dispersed the spectators, quieted the girls who werearguing, and suggested they go to mediation to solve theirproblem . Both agreed to this suggestion ."
"Nicky" and "Kerry" will need to use imagination to create thesecharacters . Talk it over a little bit at recess on etc so yourill feel prepared for in-depth questions from the mediators .
Mediators concentrate on :
the feelings behind the wordsnon-verbal cuesusing the mediation questionsgetting as much information as possible .
*** DON'T get into solutions yet, this is simply an information-gathering session
avoid deciding who is right or wrong
Observers :
Active Listening skillsLevel
of
conf li ctNon-verbal cues
e
24
I
Go around the circle
A .
"I am feeling . . .today because . . ."
B .
"Lyn is feeling . . .today because . . ."
Paraphrase what you heard the person to the right of yousaying and anything you read from that in non-verbalcommunication . Then add your own . The next person willparaphrase you and add ,their own .
II In groups of three, brainstorm a list of conflicts that mightarise at school, home, community, and the world .
A .
Remember the no-criticism brainstorming rules .
B .
Looking at this list, pull out what you think are thecauses of these disputes .
1 . i .e . competition for limited resources, aggressivenature of human beings etc
III Handout "Practise in Communication : Forming and Asking . . .
A .
Give out the handout .
B .
In pairs, go over this sheet and make sure youunderstand it .
C .
A tell B about a conflict you were recently involved inOR a conflict that you observed .
1 . B using the various techniques listed here, find outas much about the conflict as you can .
2 . make sure A feels listened to, and understood .
D .
Switch over .
E .
Discuss with the whole group .
1 . How did it feel to really be listened to?
F .
Homework : in the next week, spend S minutes "listening"to someone using the skills on "Practise inCommunication" .
MEDIATION WEEK 6
AVOIDING PITFALLS
CONFLICT CAUSES
2 5
LUNCH
A .
"Avoiding Pitfalls in Mediation" .
1 . Discuss and answer questions .
B .
Simulation 4 if time permits .
Simulation 4
1 . Discuss the situation before starting the mediation .
2 . Take your time - the possibility of resolving thisquickly is slim .
3 . Remember to be non-judgemental .
2 6
"Bobby and Liz have been going together for two years . Liz nowwants more freedom to date other boys and go places morefrequently with her girlfriends . She has told Bobby she wants tobreak up with him . One day, Bobby confronts Liz on campus,shouts and threatens her if she does not return to their previousrelationship . When Liz refuses to do his bidding, he begins topush her . Mr Crosby, the English teacher, intervenes and sendsthem to the mediation centre ."
i . Information questions
a . Short answer (Example : 1.~hat did you do when he said that to you'%)b . Factual (Example : Where did thE~ fight take place?)
2.~ Open-ended questions
~ . Activ~ listening
a . Long answers (Example : What are you wilting to do to solve thisproblem?)
b . Tap feelings as well as thought: (How do you feel about it?)c . May deal with reality (What options do you have?)d . Problem solving (What can you d~ to help solve the problem?)
Claril- ying questions
Practice in Communicati .-_- -~ : Forming and Asking0_uestions, Listeni~o, and ~ 'on-Verbal Communication
a . Reflects feelings of disputants as well as informationb . Indicates. respect for disputantsc. Quality of listening is reflect~~:d in questions that the mediator
asks .
-d . Do not be embarrassed to ask di~p~utant to repeat statement if you
are not certain of thoughts and feelings expressed .
S- Non-verbal communication
a . Body languageb . Eyes (movement, intensity)c . ?assive listening
a . Can be long or short ansvrer (Cap you tel1~ me more about?) ,b . Can be factual or feeling (Were you angry when?)c . Can deaf with reality, problem _olving (Do you know what will j
happen if?) i
d . Used throughout the whole mediation . ,
AV0101NG PITFALLS IN 1~1EDIATION
l . _Don't go for agreement too fast ." It's a sure sign of lack of experience .Here's why, and here's how to correct that problem . :
"2. Look for "hidden agenda "-- especially among groups of disputants .What is it? How to get at it?
3 . Don't give in and don't give answers --ask the questions, instead .
4 . Don't hold back-- ask the question that's on your mind .
5 .
If there is more than one mediator, then there should be a caucus betweenmediators .
6 . Keep control in the mediation room . What could happen if you don't?Now can you do it effectively?
MEDIATION WEEK 7
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLE
CONFLICT RESOLUTION _INVENTORY
1 . Go around the circle .
II How did your homework go from last week?
A . Discuss 'listening'
B .
Discuss "Avoiding Pitfalls in Communication" .
III Hand out Conflict Resolution Inventory
A .
Give 10 minutes to fill it out .
IV Conflict Resolution Styles - see "Responding to Conflict"article (if time permits) .
Possibly blackboard like this :
Co-operative
Unco-operative
29
the right of you is feeling now .
A .
Do like the 'DISC Game' - Everyone stands . Divide roomtwice according to where they see themselves . Ask : 1)Do you think you are assertive or non-assertive in yourconflict with classmates? 2) Do you go out of your wayto help satisfy their concerns? CCo-operative/Non-co-operative7
8 .
Different ways for people to respond to conflict
C .
Place yourself in the style you feel you fit into thebest - all are appropriate at some time
1 . feel free to move from one to another
2 . be honest with yourself!
D .
Explain the five categories in "Responding to Conflict" .
Assertive ~ Non-Assertive
~ Collaborating ~ Accommodating
~
Compromise
Competing Avoiding
Icebreaker
A . As we all know each other fairly well, according to whatyou've seen so far this morning and the non-verbalcommunication, see if you can guess how the person to
E .
How can these all be useful?
F .
If time allows, have them role play Simulation 5 CbyAlbie Davis) .
`
Notes : Each week, when doing the simulation, watch out to seewhether mediators tend to decide who is at fault and then focustheir questions on that person .
The class may be having a hard time getting off the right andWrong of it all .
Possibly plan some activities to help them understand all theshades in between .
from "Classroom Strategies, Resolving Disputes :
TheChoice is Ours", Albie Davis and Richard A Salem
A nur)tber of instruments have been de-sign~d tohelp people understand theirownresponsestoconflict (sa box on curriculumresources on page 23). One of these, theThomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode !n-strumrnt (TKI), is a xlC-administeredquestionnaire in which partidpants an-swer 30 forced~ehoice questions and thengive themxlva a rating in each of fivemodes of response.Two basic dimensions of behavior are
idrntitied. Assertiveness/unassertivenessis the extrnt to which we attempt to satisfyour own concerns. Cooperati~~eness/un-cooperafivrnas it the extent to which weattempt to satisfy the other person's con-ceras. Whey these dimensions are consid-aed Together, five ways of responding tocoafiict emerge. They are daaibod by theTKI authors as:l. Competing is assertive and uncoopera-
tive . When we compete, we pursue ourownconcerns using whatever power orstrategies seem necessary to win. Com-p~ting ran be uxful during emergen-oa,when quick, derisive action is vital,or when unpopular courses of anionGave to be followed. Sometimes wecompete to protect otusdva againstthose who take advantage of noncom-petitive behavior .
2. Aaoaunodating is unassertive and co-operative. Whrn we accommodate, weneglect our ownconcerns to satisfy theconcerns of others. Aceornmodatingcan be useful when the issues at stakeue moreimportant toothersand good-will is important to us. . We might alsoaccommodate when weare outmatchedand losing or evrn to let others experi-ment and learn . from , , their ownmistakes .
3. Avoiding is unassertive and uncoopera-tive : When we avoid, we donotimmedi-ately pursueour ownconcerns or thoseofothers. Avoiding can be useful when
30
Full article available through The Conflict ResolutionNetwork .
Responding to Conflict
an issue is trivial or when we perceive nochance of accomplishing our objertiva.lt's also useful to give others time tocooldown a even to ux the time to gathermore information for later action.
4. Collaborating is both assertive and co-operative, the opposite of avoiding .When we collaborate, we attempt towork with the other person to find somesolution which fully satisfies our eon-ternsand theirs. (We try to "expand thepie.") Collaborating can beusefulwhrnwe want to find solutions which meeteveryone's rnaceras, when we are oprnto learning from people with differentperspectives or to gain commitmentfrom those we are working with .
S. Compromising it intermediate in bothassertivenessand cooperativrness. Wheywe compromise, we try to find some ex-podient, mutually acceptable solutionwhich partially satistia both parties.(Wetry to "split the pie. ") Compromis-ing can be uxful when our goals arconly moderately impotent, but notworth the time or the disruption whichcompeting or rnUaborating might rn-tail . We also can use compromisingwhen our goals are in high contrast withan equally strong opponent or when wewant to arrive at temporary solutions tocomplex or time-sensitive issues .
Although the TKI is relatively new, wehave obsmed some fairly predictabletrends in our ~ue of the instrumrnt, trendswhich may have applications for youngpeople . Many score high on competition,avoidance and accommodation. Somesoorchigh on compromise . Mostscore Iowon ooUaboration . It would appear that weare conditioned to compete, aocortuno-date and avoid, but seldom are we taughtooUaborative skills. Hence, in our trainingdesign, after heightening interest in andawarenessofconflict, we beginto help stu-drnts build eoUaborative problem solvingskills through a series ofabsorbing exer-eisa, often starting with a brairutortningone, such as the Belt .
Conitlct Resolutlon InventoryConduct this exerrisc (adaptcd from
Conflict Resolution) before carrying on adiscussion of the conflict resolution stylesmrntioncd above. Give your studrnu acopy of the fight scenarios printed below.Ask studenu to read cash paragraph,think about it for a minute and then write,in a srntrnce or two, what they would do.Save choir papas. Administer the invrn-tory again near the rnd of the unit and Ictstudrnu comparetheir two papas to sce il'i~heir raponsa have cbangcd.
'
l. Your new math teacher spcaks veryquickly and you have difficulty under-standing what she says. You are afraidyou will miss a lot of important infor "oration and you may get a bad grade.What would you do?
~2. Because your older brother and sister
were cotuidered wild when they wereyour age, your paseau have givrn youvcry strict cola for going out at night.You have never given than a reason tomistnut you. You want greater fra-dom. What would you do?
3.Your two best friends often borrowsmall amounu of money from you butnever rananberto pay you hack. Now,you want to buy a gift for your motherand you don't have enough money.What would you do?
'4. You have ban active in the multicul-
tural program at your school . At a par-ty,twoPeople spendhalfan hourtellingrace joker, trying to sec who gcts themost laughs. What would you do?
S. Your father thinksyou watch too muchTV. He has thrcatrncd to take the TVaway if you don't cut down on yourviewing. One day you come home andthe TV is missing. You fal certainthatyour father took it away. What do youdo?
6. A friend of Yours K-artu to go off for aKec6cnd to sf+end time in the dry. Hewants you to tell his parrnu that he isstaying Kith you. His rcquest maker youttnmmfortabic. What do you do?
~. The two peoplc who share the locksneat to you are always arguing aboutthings that sarn stupdid to you. Theypush and shove one another and calleach other names. What do you do?
8. You arethe onlyonein your aowd whodriveracar. Youoften giveyourfriendsrids home rom s~hool or sportingevrnu. They°elpp°aY for gas and youare starting to rescnt putting out all themoney. What do you do?
Faplain the five conflict resolutionmodes-competing, accommodating,avoiding, collaborating and compromis-ing-to your stydrnu. Discuss when eachmight be useful . Give the following infor-mation to your studrnu: Twostudrnu arcboth new to theschool . They have met oneanother and both think they would like tobe friends. StudentAlikes football and isthinking ofsuggesting that they both go tothe football game and thrn to McDonaldsto cat. Student B loves the movies and is
. thinking ofsuggesting that they both go toamovie and then to Taco Bell .' Divide the class into fivc groups . Assigneach group one ofthe conflict mode cate-gories-competing, accommodating,avoiding, collaborating, and compromis-ing. Askeachgroupto dcvelop a bricfsim"ulatioa of how these studenu might re-spoad to one another if thcy both wereoperating in the conflict mode assigned totheirgroup. (Forexample, thecompctitors
~~ probably wouldinsist onthe'uoriginal sug-gestions and ooc budge; thecompromiscrsmight deride to go to the football gamesadTaco Bell ; thecogaborators might dis "cover that they really want to get to knoweach other and decide to do somcthingthey will both enjoy; the accommodatorsmight do whatever was suggesind lust ; theavoiders might change the subject at thevery Cost sign of conflict.)As a followup activity, you might ask
each group to come up with a situation inwhich they might best use the conflictmode assigned to them . This will coin forcethe notion that there is a time andplace f~rcach type of responseandit is helpful to beable to use than ail. (There two activitiescould spread ova several class periods.)
Ask students ii the exercise daPenedtheir understanding of various modes of ,respondingtoconflict . Did anyparticularmode stand out as particularly appropri-ate to this conflict?
OptionalSimulation 5 :
t ontllct Resolutlon Styles
31
3 2
III Right and wrong issue
1 . Discuss
simply keep it in mind
MEDIATION WEEK 8
MAPPING 7HE CONFLICT
I
Go around the circle practising asking open-ended questions .
A . Make sure they are clear on the difference betweenopen-ended and closed ended questions .
8 . Make the questions relevant to the person on the Left ofyou .
C . What and how are good starters for open-ended .
II Anyone practise listening skills during the week?
A . Read portion of Magic of Conflict pg 139
B. How many of you believe murder is wrong?
1, in self-defense?2, defending someone you love?3 . discuss .
C . The importance of stepping off your position .
IV Looking at Mapping the Conflict Tom Crum's way, page 189 andwhole of pages 182-187 .
A . Map out someone's conflict in the group .
B . If time permits, Look at alternative Mapping the Conflict- charting each person's needs and fears .
LUNCH : Video Simulation 6 - if video equipment is available,possibly record a mediation .
See about getting in some students who are not part of themediation group to play the disputants to role play situation .If it can be a situation that recently occurred in the schoolthis might be useful .
Keep in mind the strategy we dealt with this morning . You can :
write it on the board/butcher paper
see if you can agree on a solution . Next week you willpractise writing out that agreement .
3 3
"MAGIC OF CONFLICT"
by Thomas Crum
Be Willing to Understand
139
Let's say Joe, the hawk, and Betty, the dove, are caught up in thenuclear debate. Instead of arguing ad nauseam over numbers ortypes of weapons, Betty realizes she has another choice . She practices the appreciation exercise . She moves off her position to inquirehonestly and sincerely about the feelings, interests, and beliefs thatled Joe to his pronuclear stand. In the ensuing dialogue, she encour-ages him to speak of his interests and vision .
"What I'm really interested in is security . I believe that everyonehas the right to work toward what they want. I feel deeply about thehealth and well-being of my children . I envision a world in which mychildren and my children's children can be secure and safe to growand to learn and to be happy."
It doesn't take long for Betty to find natural commonality ofthought between her and Joe. She also wants a world that's secureand full of opportunity for her children and grandchildren of the future . Joe and Betty begin to understand each other, and to be under-stood . Moving off of the "right-and-wrong" game, they begin torecognize commonalities and to develop specific solutions to theissues over which they differ . Chapter 9 of this book will cover thetopic of cocreation and solution finding.
Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book Getting to Yes, state"It is not enough to know that they see things differently. If you wantto influence them, you also need to understand empathetically thepower of their point of view and to feel the emotional force with whichthey believe in it ." 2' Being wilting to~ understand is your chance toembrace all aspects of a conflict, not just the positions, but also thefeelings, the beliefs, and the interests that both sides have.
A typical opportunity for using the Aiki Approach in a family §el-ing is the conflict created when a parent asks a child to do a chore>uch as washing the windows.
iUBJECT ~ POSITIONJF CONFLICT
Parent
'
.-
Child
~hild washing
I wont my child to
I don't wont to wash~he windows. . ~
wash thewindows
the windows today .today .
.
INTERESTS, BELIEFS, AND FEELINGSParent
Child
I'd like to see my child learn
This isn't really my house . It'ssome responsibility.
your house.
This family is a communiy and
1 have mole important things toeverybody should help out.
do.
My child needs some discipline .
I feel controlled when yob makeme do things .
I would appreciate some help
7his job is too hard for me to dowith the housework.
well .
I want to be a good parent.
I wont to be o good child .
VISIONSParent
Child
1 wont my child to be responsible
I wont to be able to take core ofso he.can live a happy,
myself and to be happy .productive Ufe .
I want to feel good about myself
I wont to feel good aboutas a parent.
myself .
I wont a happy child .
I want happy pa rents.
COMMON VISIONWe both ore happy and responsible and we feel good about ourselves.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS.Child doesrit hove to clean the windows, but instead chooses another
s equoUy significant chore for protticing discipline and responsibility.
Child selects his own schedule and hour for doing the windows. II thechild successfully demonstrates his obikty to do o good job without con-stant reminders, then he will be given more freedom in other areas, suchos staying up bier .
Once the solutions ore decided, it is advisable that both partiesverbally declare (heir commitment to the solution and then spendsome time envisioning the future .
If Joe and Betty Baggodonuts and their son Billy recognize (heircommon vision of o comfortable and enjoyable home, Billy may de-cide that he will do his port by being responsible for mowing theown. If Billy commits to doing, the lawn on Saturdays, it would bevaluable to examine future scenarios before they actually occur.
('questions that lead into this might be:"Well, Billy, if something comes up next $atvrdoy, like a big beach
party, what will we dot"Or,"Billy, ff I find that the lawn didri t get cut one week, what should
I do as your DadZ"This gives Billy the chance to reply, to create his own discipline .Or together, parent and child might ask the question, "Next year
of this time, i( we've really worked together on keeping agreements,what will our relationship be like2"
By envisioning the future, by having both parent and child, oremployer and employee, as the case may be, imagine the next dayor month or even year and think up os many considerations or situ-ations as possible that would test the solution, Ihey are testing theircommitment to the solution . This process works to insure that futurestumbling blocks become stepping stones to a deeper, more con-scious commitment to their relationship and the realization of (heircommon goals .
Anyone con count the seeds in an apple.No one can count the apples in a seed.
Monymout
3 5
189
THE AIKI APPROACH
Choose to CocreateThe world is an interdependent, vitally alive organism, ofwhich you are an - integral part.
The energy of our differences can produce a precious gihwe could never have experienced alone.
When we choose cocreation we end separation-the rootcause of conflict.
Choosing to cocreate will transform "your vision into"our' vision . Support will arise from everywhere .
coM THsE MAGIC OF CONFLICT
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
182
ation has proven to be by far the better system, it may take somevery creative educators to initiate it into the system . It is such an alienconcept within most schools that a typical observer noticing suchbehavior might wonder why "it's OK for all those kids to cheat."New cooperative models are proving very successful . One is basedon the "jigsaw" method, in which each person is given a piece ofinformation and must cooperate with the entire group to come upwith a complete report. Another less structured model is to have agroup come up with as many alternatives as possible, such as howmany things they can find that affect the burning time of a candle.
And does cooperation help the less able children at the expenseof the more gifted ones2 Studies have shown that when groups ofstudents of varied abilities come together to help one another, withthe goal being that everyone in the group must know how to solvethe problem, both gifted and less able students prosper. The oldcliche that the teacher learns as much as the student proves itself out.And maybe even more important, study results show that studentshave more fun in the cooperative mode . In fact, the Johnsons citeseven studies since 1984 that indicate people often say they enjoycompetition but then change their minds when they experience whatit is like to work and play in a setting that does not require winnersand losers .
If the power of cooperation takes its appropriate place as thenew paradigm in business and education, this world will changedramatically. Instead of hoping to see each other fail, we will bepulling for each other to succeed. "We need all of us" will become arallying cry for creating a powerful, healthy, and peaceful world.
In Aikido, there ore no enemies. The mistake is to begin to think that budo (the way of thewarrior] means to hove an opponent or enemy, somebody you want to be stronger than,someone you want to throw down . In true budo there is no enemy or opponent. True budois to become one with the universe.'9
Morihei Ueshiba
Let's look at some examples of everyday conflicts and see howthe Aiki Approach can work in a systematic and concrete fashion.
."S~. .k
Choose to Cocreate
First, as we learned in Chapters 4 and 5, we can choose to re-
spond to the conflict from a centered and connected place. This
results in an essential rapport between the disputants . This is vital,
because it results in a reduction, if not the total elimination, of the
negative emotions between the parties, which in turn supports the
disputants in getting in touch with a crucial question : Are they com-mitted to resolving this conflict in a way that is mutually supportive2
This is a critical point, because unless both parties ore committed, theinteraction will most likely be painfully long . There are many instancesin life, from divorce to international conflict, in which one side sees
value in continuing the conflict . This usually occurs when there is a
great perceived power-disparity, and a low interest in supporting the
needs of the other side or in developing a good, long-term working
relationship . Both sides recognize that if an all-out fight resulted, the
power imbalance would provide one of them with all the "spoils of
victory."In most instances, however, deeper examination of their intercon-
nectedness will reveal to both sides the narrow limits of this short-
term gain and the greater loss they suffer by continuing to fight . When
both parties examine in detail the pros and cons of continuing the
fight, they can see chat the stress, struggle, and sense of separatenessinvolved go against their deepest vision in life . The Aiki Approach is
a powerful tool for resolving conflict because it helps disputing par-
ties discover their common purpose.The Aiki Approach will be most effective if the disputing parties
are willing to sit down and discuss the issue . A neutral third party can
~be very useful to facilitate this . A facilitator skilled in centering andthe process of conflict resolution can aid both parties in coming to an
understanding they ore unable to reach on their own.The environment and the structure of a meeting also contribute to
centeredness and rapport. An uncluttered, healthy environment pro-
motes clarity of thinking . The room should be conducive to cheerful-
ness, peace, and understanding . Even the chairs should be arranged
to promote working together rather than confrontation, angled in the
same direction or placed in o circle rather than directly facing each
other. Mix the two groups so as not to create separate camps. At the
1985 U .S.-USSR Summit Conference in Geneva, Mr . Gorbachevand
President Reagan took a very important step in establishing rapport
183
m
THE MAGIC OF CONFLICT
and a centered environment when they had their private "firesidechat."
Suppose there is a conflict between employer and employeesover the creation of an employee lounge . With a commitment toresolve the conflict, management and employees can discover thetrue interests, feelings, and beliefs of each side .
SUBJECT OFCONFLICT
Creation of anemployee lounge .
INTERESTS, BELIEFS, FEELINGSEmployer
I want to run my company in themost economical way andalounge will cost money.
Employees should concentrateon their, jobs .
If I give the employees a little,they will just demand more .
Employees need more, not less,discipline.
I feel taken advantage of. .
Employer
We do not need anemployee lounge .
POSITION
We need anemployee lounge .
Employees
We work better when we'rehappy andwhen we feelmanagement cores about us .
Acomfortable place to relax willmake our work time moreproductive .
If they can afford a newexecutive suite, they cari clffordan employee lounge . -
If management trusts us andsupports us, we will be able tomake more of a contribution tothe success of the company.
I feel unsupported andunacknowledged .
184
Similarities begin to appear as management and employeesmove further from their position or point of view on the lounge to alarger vision of what each party indeed wants. There is often a ten-
185
dency to keep coming back to the initial positions on the issue andto return to a reactive evaluation of the other side . A continuedchecking of center, connectedness, and rapport is needed to supportpurposeful moving from the initial position to interests, beliefs, feel-ings, and finally visions.
It is very important that each side allow the other to express itselfwithout interruption . A powerful technique that enhances listening isto hove each side restate what it hears from the other in terms ac-ceptable to itself . This develops empathy and understanding andmakes appreciation and acknowledgment possible . Restatementalone can dissipate much of the negative emotion surrounding theconflict . In many cases, to be heard is all that both sides reallyneeded in the first place. If so, the conflict ends right there .
After this understanding has progressed, it is important to articu-late the visions that each party has.
VISIONSEmployer
Employees
I want an efficient workingenvironment .
I want my employees to beresponsible and productive .
I want to run an optimallysuccessful company.
I want to feel good about myselfas an employer .
I want a peaceful workingenvironment, conducive to doingmy best job for the company.
I want to be responsible andproductive and to be perceivedthat way by management .
I want to feel good about myselfas an employee .
I want to grow personally aswell as make a contribution to asuccessful company.
At this point, management and employees are in an excellentposition to identify similarities in their personal visions and to co-create a common vision . I have found it effective to have each partywrite out what they think would be a common vision and then com-
m THE MAGIC OF CONFLICT
pare them . Next, they should integrate them into one statement ofconsensus. A sample common vision in this example might be :
COMMON VISIONWe ore a successful company whose individual participants contributetheir full vplue to the company and receive appreciation, trust, support,and fulfillment in return .
Power arises when both parties participate in the cocreotion pro-cess because they both begin to shore (or be committed to) thecommon vision. Knowing that they hove the same goal in mind, theyare able to proceed together to cocreate solutions in which a loungeis not a conflict . And when both sides participate in cocreating solu-tions, they both become more responsible for carrying out those so-lutions . In o boss-employee conflict or a parent-child situation, thereis often a distinct power difference . There is a tendency for the morepowerful side, usually the boss or the parent, to dominate the solu-tion . jo the extent that this happens, the other party is likely to acceptthe solution passively but resentfully and is therefore more likely togive it up at the first opportune moment . Because they feel powerless,they often begin to grumble, criticize, or complain . When they co-create the solution, however, thgy will be able to take more respon-sibility for its implementation .
Once a common vision is identified, then the focus con be placedon solutions rather than differences . Differences become muchsmaller in the light of a big common vision, and possible solutionscan then be enumerated. While developing the solution, constantlyask the question, "If we were living this vision today, what wouldwebe doing that would prevent us from having this issue arise as a pointof conflict2" Whatever the solution/s), ii is most efficiently and effec-tively determined through a process of cocreation.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONSManagement would agree to allot a percentage of future net profits {orthe lounge as on incentive for employees.
A temporary lounge could be established immediately os an indicationof good faith toward the employees' expression of their needs and con-cerns .
186
'k'..l
Choose to Cocreote 187
In the late seventies, in what could have become a classicallyruinous confrontation between labor and management, the Team-sters struck Anaheim Citrus, a small California company that pro-cesses citrus peels. The president of the company wonted moreproductivity, the truck drivers wonted more money. It looked like ano-win situation.
William Forley, the Chicago-based entrepreneur who hod re-cently purchased Anaheim Citrus, flew out to California to mediatethe dispute. A firm believer in cocreational principles ("Creativity andperformance should be rewarded of all levels" and "Our peopleshould work together in an atmosphere of trust and collaboration"ore two of his managerial guidelines), Farley listened to both sidesand came up with o proposal that satisfied both . He offered to paythe drivers by the load rather than the hour. Management would beoff their bucks and they could work as hard and make as much asthey wanted . This potentially disastrous strike was settled in threedays, to everyone's advantage. Management was guaranteed anacceptable level of productivity and the drivers were given the oppor-tunity to exercise their own initiative and creativity in delivering thegoods.
EXAMPLE :
This is how anactual conflictcan be mapped .
CONFLICT : Ina schoolyard,a 'teacher asksa passingstudent topick up a fewpapers whichare not his/ .hers .
MAPPING
Needs :
u?hatMotives areat thebottom ofthe problemand the"solutions"~
Fears : What--.-worries,anxieties,concerns areinfluencingbehaviour?
06/88
N~~oS~ ~ " ~la,iz v4c ~,o".e~
" ~cSrlC.t" .rra..n fY~+ll+ar
NOTE : Student in lose/lose position .
His needs are in conflict . . .' if he avoids teacher's wrath he incurs peer pressure/derision .
Conclude ' uith consideration of the question, "Nhat does thismap suggest to youl"
(E.g . the above map suggests thatthe language used by the teacher making request is crucial, .and that the whole issue needs to be tackled at anothef-"level
NEXT TIME YOU ARE IN CONFLICT, TRY USING THIS MAP :
" ~Sfra~k.a+ .," ~cv s,.o ..,
f1~FP ; ;~G THE CONFLICT
" dbcdrv.ce.
." ~+R.~~~ .., v~GGi�. sY"el
upt
39
e
Copyrtynt
'I~e Coil fdid R,eso~ution NetworltBox 1016. Chattwood N.S.W2057.Aunt (02) 419 8500.MayDe reproduced b Qis no0oe appears.
II Agreement writing
LUNCH
MEDIATION WEEK 9
AGREEMENT WRITING
Choose a quality you would like to have as a mediatore .g . dynamic, powerful, strong, creative, energetic,unlimited, empathic, peaceful, non- judgemental/accepting,supportive, helpful, innovative .
A .
Go around the circle and say "I choose to bemediator" . Put on as a name tag .
A .
Review agreement writing #9 on Mediation : The Processfrom week 2 .
1 . Discuss
B .
Hand out Agreement Form
1 . Include common vision
2 . Envision the future "what if?"
3 . Complete sample agreement form from last week'sconflict .
III View video from last week and discuss
A .
Were the mediators able to get complete information?
B .
Were the mediators non-judgemental?
C .
Did the mediators get adequate information before comingto a solution?
D .
Did both parties agree on the solution?
If finished with the video, go on to do any incompletedsimulations e .g, from week 5 or 7, or make up another example .
Complete with agreement writing .
~+ o
We, the undersigned, having participated in a mediation session on (date)
and being satisfied that the provisions of the
resolution of our dispute are fair and reasonable, hereby agree to abide
by and fulfill the following :
MEDIATOR/WITNESS
DISPUTANTS
FOLLOW-UP DATE :
THE II~N[JEL SC~i00L
SC~i00L 1~IATIDN PI~TDGT
AG1~gNT
DATE :
CASE NO.
B .
Suggestion 1
I
One word to describe holidays .
A .
Person to right expounds on that guessing at non-verbalcommunication,
B .
Go around the circle .
II Review the Mediation Process and skills
III Brainstorm a name for your school's Mediation Program
A .
Use no-criticis'm technique
1, be zany and creative
TERM 2 WEEK 1
1, SPAR - Student Peacemakers for AlternativeResolution
C .
Decide on three choices and we will choose between themnext week .
The Emanuel School came up with the followingalternatives :
YUM - Young Understanding MediationARM - Alternative Resolution MediationSPAR - Student Peacemakers for Alternative ResolutionThe CR Gang
IV Any ideas for what room could be the mediation room in theschool?
A .
Let's go Looking if time permits .
z LUNCH
Split into three groups and
I
Brainstorm ways of informing the school about the program
A .
Once again, use the no-criticism techniques
8 .
Each group decide on three best options
II Simulation of someone's most recent conflict if time permits
A,
complete with written agreement
42
We, the undersigned, having participated in a mediation session on (date)
and being satisfied that the provisions of the
resolution of our dispute are fair and reasonable, hereby agree to abide
by and fulfill the following :
MEDIATOR/WITNESS
DISPUTANTS
FL~LL~OW-UP DATE :
'
THE II~NUEL SCHOOL
SC~i00L I~IATION PHaTF7CT
AG~TT
DATE :
CASE NO .
4 1
s
I One word to describe holidays .
A .
Person to right expounds on that guessing at non-verbalcommunication .
B .
Go around the circle .
II Review the Mediation Process and skills
III Brainstorm a name for your school's Mediation Program
A .
Use no-criticism technique
B .
Suggestion 1
C .
Decide on three choices and we will choose between themnext week .
IV Any ideas for what room could be the mediation room in theschool?
A .
Let's go looking if time permits .
LUNCH
Split into three groups and
I
Brainstorm ways of informing the school about the program
A .
Once again, use the no-criticism techniques
B .
Each group decide on three best options
II Simulation of someone's most recent conflict if time permits
A .
complete with written agreement
1 . be zany and creative
TERM 2 WEEK 1
1 . SPAR - Student Peacemakers for AlternativeResolution
The Emanuel School came up with the followingalternatives :
YUM - Young Understanding MediationARM - Alternative Resolution MediationSPAR - Student Peacemakers for Alternative ResolutionThe CR Gang
42
LUNCH
* Infant school* Primary school* Middle school* High school
Other PR promotions :
* bulletin
* parents and friends
MEDIATION TERM 2 WEEK 2
I
Icebreaker : Choose a colour that represents the last fourweeks for you .
1 .
Describe briefly why you chose that colour .2 .
Go around the circle .
II Ask someone to do an impromptu advertisement for eachcandidate name for the Mediation Program .
A .
Discuss and decide on a name .
P
III The important thing now is to get the news on to the wholeschool that you're here to mediate conflicts . Somepossibilities :
Brainstorm ideas for presentations - decide who will dowhat . Presentations may include a mediation role play .Could be funny . Different situations for different agegroups .
Different groups prepare presentations for age group :
* article for school magazine
* letter to parents inviting them to one of thepresentations
Video simulation (give out before Lunch) or if someone has aconflict they'd like to role play or real .
"Cindy came to see the counsellor because she has been fightingwith her best friend, Janet . They have stopped spending theirlunch times together and Cindy misses their friendship . Bothgirls have agreed to a mediation session to resolve theconflict ."
Instruct disputants to have their conflict worked out,information ready, and understanding each other, be prepared toagree, but not too quickly .
4 3
Review referral processPrepare presentations
Present presentations to :
1 . infants school2 . primary school3 . HS tutor periods
Open - review of presentations
TERM 2 WEEK 3
TERM 2 WEEK 4
TERM 2 WEEK 5
~ a~i
~ o~ a n ~
~ ~ t~
~ .. .,o u~`~ 3 o~ V~,0a~~~ ~p~
s~ ~; ~ ~~
~n w
STUDENTS IN CONFLICT
DATE :(Disputants)
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF CONFLICT :
MEDIATORS :
TO BE FILLED OUT BY COUNSELIAR :
DATE & TIME OF MEDIATION SESSION :
T.E.S. REFERRAL
weR,n+ ~TAA~R.Sw
REFERRED BY :
ATTACH TO AGREII~IT FORM WITH FOLLC7W-UP INFORMATION
Appendix 4
48
P ROGRAM SUMMARY
RATIONALE
Project S .M .A .R .Tr
. .
S C: y1 G' .'J ~
..:G.O' ~ C
~J '] iI _ . C. l . ~ . ..l
J:~ ~.
V .
~+. ~:Sponsored By
The Victim Services Agency
The School Mediators' Alternative Resolution Team Progra^ --better known as roject S .M .A .R .T . - `P
- rains students, parents,and school personnel to mediate disputes between students, betweenstudents and parents and between students and teachers .
effective or.-campus mechanism for addressing a wide variety ofconflicts .
Project S ." .A .R .T . expanded to one of Bryant High School'sfeeder schools ( .Horace Greeley Junior High School) in the Spi-ir.g
t'aG~
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District and Prcspect Heights High Schools (in Brooklyn) . Thep^ogram is funded by the New York City Youth Bureau and the i1'~;,
Board of ~ducation .
Our nation's schools are beset by problems of crime .violence, vandalism, absenteeism, truancy, and dropouts . Mostschools lack the resources to respond adequately to theseproblems . Too often, the underlying causes of a problem receivelittle attention and relatively minor problems are allowed toescalate into major disruptions .
Mediation training and the use of mediation address theunderlying causes of student behavioral and achievement problemsin several ways :
students are taught skills such as listening, criticalthinkir_g and problem-salving which can be brought to bearin solving their own conflicts as well as the problems oftheir peers ;
mediation encourages communication and cooperation andprovides the entire school community -- students, faculty,and parents -- with a forum for constructive dialogue andproblem-solving ;
Mf,iN Or=:r'~ 2 (~',FAYETi~ STREti " NEW YOR1ti N~'J PORK 10007 " (2~2) 577-77Q~
Sponsored 5y the Victim Services Agency (VSA), the programbegan in 1983 at William Cullen Hryant High School in Long IslandCity ; Queers . Hy establishing a cadre of skilled student andadult mediators, S .M .A .R .T . provide s the school community wit ;: an
m aediation is an empowerin; process : students learn toassume g^eater responsibi -!..itr for resolving their ownproblems ;
mediation can also increa:~~~: the involvement of parents inthe school community, bot'i~: by giving them a non-threateningforum in which to voice t!r~~ir concerns and by allowing the: :to become mediators ;
s mediation increases the scaool`s capacity to respond tostudent problems and frees teachers, administrators, andsuppo.~rt staff to concentra~e more on teaching and academicissues than on disciplin° ;
mediation is an extremely _'lexible and individualisticproblem-solving methnd wit!i innumerable applications . Ithas proven useful in a va :~~iety of situations (crisis asmoll as r.on-crisis), regardless of where they originate --the home, the neighborhoo~' cr at school .
PROGRA:'~ PROCEDURES
Conducted by the Project S .!~i .A .R .T . Coordinator, the class-^oom seminars help students expl :::re their values and problemsolving skills .̂nd introduce tr:e~.: to basic tenets and techniouesof mediation through role p13y demonstrations, a slideshow, andgroup exercises . The seminars, ~:rhich can consist of one or twoforty minute segments, are typ~_c ::.lyy offered in response toteacher requests anal in lieu of regularly scheduled classes .
1 . Classroom Seminars
2 .
Mediation_- Traini
4 9
?reject S .M .A .R .T . consists of fcur basic service compo-ne_ .̂ts : (1) classroom seminars designed to generate campus-wideinterest in mediation and to recruit mediators and cases ; (2) thetraining of students, parents and faculty interested in becomingmediators ; (3) tire actual mediation of intra-student, intra-familyand student-teacher conflicts by those who successfully completethe training ; and (~) follow-up ^a all mediated cases ir. orderto discuss ongoing problems .
Zn audition to gaining ger.e~" al knowledge about mediation andnon-violent methods for resolvir.:g conflict, the students are give_ccnerete information about the s :hool`s mediation program : whatit can do .~for~ them, how to refer cases, and what is required tobecome a Froject S .M .A .R .T . mediator .
The S .M .A .R .T . program offe :°s an intensive twenty hourtraining program three times duc" ng the school year for students,schcel personnel and parents in~.~rested in becoming S .M .A .R .T .mediators .
Conducted by VSA` s ::_.rector of School Mediation. and aprivate consultant (with the ass _stance of
S .M .A .R .T .`s or.-siteCoordinators) the training court> .~ teaches students and adults how
3 . Mediation
Follow-uo
to structure a mediation hearing, fact-gathering techniques,note-taking and questioning ski .~ls, how to identify and prioritizeissues ir. a dispute and how to "write up a mediation agreement .Role playing exercises are used ~o help participants analyze theirown responses to conflict, unde_"~stand and express their ownfeelings and to hone the mediation skills and techniques learned
Students and adults who .ha -;e comp :Leted the mediation training(ard are deemed "ready" to mediate by the Project Coordinator) areavailable throughout the school Say to mediate cases referred tothe Froject by the principal, a_--.~sistant principals, guidancecou:iselors, deans, teachers, tr ;:ant officers, security guards,students, or local Family Court_
Typical problems among stu~'ents appropriate for mediationinclude interracial incidents, cisputes between rival gangs,property theft disputes, and ir.~idents involving gossip, taunts,threats, or ~rarassment that hav~:.~ not yet become violent . Inaddition, S .'M .A .R .T .'s student-adult mediation teams have helpedto resolve student-parent and ~ .:udent-teacher disagreements (e .g .concerning attendance, inapproc :~iate behavior, curfews, etc .)which can lead to alienation, a~~senteeism, and truancy .
Ir. all cases, the Project coordinator interviews the partiesinvolved in the dispute to determine whether the dispute is onethat can be resolved through mediation and to ascertain whetherthe parties are agreeable to the mediation process .
When both (all) parties a~.ree to try mediation, the ProjectCoordinator schedules a mediation session and identifies one ormore mediators to hear the case . Normally, students are selectedto hear student-student cases and a student and an adult (teacheror parent) are selected to har.~;le student-teacher and student-parer.t cases .
Follow..-up on all mediateG cases is conducted by the Project,Coordinator on an ongoing basis . Through phone calls, personalinterviews, and (whet. time pe~ ":aits) home visits, the ProjectCoordinator determines if the agreement is being complied with and
The role of the mediators is to hear both sides of thedispute and to encourage commursication by helping the disputantstc see each other's viewpoint ~.nd by helping them to overcomeemotions that block settlement . A mediation session is considered"successful" when both parties sign an agreement containing theelements of their settlement .
in the training .
Each cycle of the training course, which is normally con-ducted within a two or three week span during weekday afternoons,can accommodate up to 25 partic=. :cants .
Each of VSA's high school-based S .M .A .R .T, projects has afull-time Project Coordinator . The Project Coordinators areemployees of VSA (a not-for-proYit human service agency) ratherthan Board of Education employe?s . Each school provides privateoffice space, furniture, and a telephone for the Coordinator .
VSA's decision to retain full-time Coordinators stems fromthe belief that launching a mediation program at a large inner-city high school requires the u::divided attention of someonedevoted to mediation . It has b~~en VSA's experience that, whiletraining administrators, teachers, and students ,about mediationis an important end in itself a_~d critical to the success of aschool mediation program, train~~ng alone does not necessarilylead to a structured program ca ;,able of providing mediationservices on a daily basis .
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Thus far, the response of students, teachers, parents andschool administrators has been overwhelmingly positive at each oftt".e five schools where S .M .A .R .?' . operates . Since the programbegan in 1983 :
Over 230 students and 6y adults have completed S .M .A .R .Ttwenty hour training cou~ " se ;
S .M .A .R .T . mediators have helped to resolve over 775disputes, ranging from student-teacher and student-parent "communication problems" to multi-student fistfights ;
1,8?7 Students have used mediation to settle ~~roblems andreconcile differences ;
suspensions for fighting have dropped dramatically at eachof the high schools where the S .M .A .R .T . program wasimplemented . In S .M .A .P .T .'s first year of operation,fighting suspensions decreased by 46~ at William CullenBryant High School, by ~''Sp at Taft High School, by 70p atEastern District - High School, and by 60p at ProspectHeights High School ;
it is now standard pro~~e~~lure for the schools' disciplinarydeans to refer all stude :~t disputes not involving weapons,drugs, or injuries to ae~iation ;
S .M .A .R .T .'s positive i~:pact on the schools' "trouble-makers" is in part evid~_nced by the fact that over 50
5 1
's
discusses any ongoing problems . -Follow-up mediation sessions arescheduled, if necessary, to rei:_iorce progress made in the firsthearing or to clarify the term~~ of the agreement .
STAFFING
FiJTURE GOALS
students who went through mediation as disputants sub-sequently became mediators-.,
s over 6,300 students have = .~c.ended S .M .A .R .T .'s classroomseminars on mediation and :ion-violent problem-solving ;
follow-up inte :-views conducl:ed by S .M .A .R .T .'s ProjectCoordinators indicate that over ninety percent of themediated agreements remai:.ed intact and that the vastmajority of disputants fcu ::d the mediation processsatisfying and useful .
® Project S .M .A .R .T . has received national recognitionamong educators and medi~:t~:rs through articles inUpdate on Lac:-Related Educ ation , Education Week , theNegotiation Journal , the t!~.ssouri Journal of DisputeResolution, The Christian :science Monitor , and thet"Iationa Association .or `~e.diation in EducationN .A .M .E . newsletter . llu= in large part to the
work of S .M .A .R .T . mediai;u's, Bryant . High Schoolwon the 1985 New York New~day Queens High Schoolcf the Year Award for CoL^unity Service .
The coming year presents ne :: opportunities and new challengesfor Project S .M .A .R .T . The program's proven success has resultedin requests for expansion to as ;any as four additional schoolswt:ich believe that mediation tra~.ning and peer mediation. canimprove"the attendance, academic, and disciplinary records ofstudents identified to be "at ri. ::k" of dropping out .
By incorporating peer mediz~~ion into the existing disciplinesystem at each school, Project ~ .M .A .R .T . aims to relieveadministrators and teachers of t:~e burden of resolving disputesanal maintaining discipline . Mor " :: importar_tly, Project S .M .A .R .T .encourages students to see conf~ "_ct resolution as an essential andcontinuing part of everyday life .
FOR ADDITIONAL INFCrMATION PLEASE CONTACT
Ms . Pac~ela MooreDirector of School MediationVictim Services Agency2 Lafayette Street - 3rd Floor"New York, N .Y . 10007(212) 577-7700 ext . 270
Mr . Christopher WhippleDirector of Court and Mediation
ServicesVictim Services Agency2 Lafayette Street - 3rd Floo^New York, N .Y . 10007(2121 577-770C ext . 268
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