The

MAROON

TRIBUNEFebruary 14, 2011

Kim Skoric, AdvisorJessica Ramirez, Editor-in-Chief

Volume 13, Issue 5

Berthoud High School850 Spartan Ave.

Berthoud, Colorado 80513

bhsmaroontribune.wordpress.com

The BHS Maroony Awards→Page 4

The Tribune Recognizes Senior

Winter Athletes→Page 12

The new “Fun Page” and

EntertainmentPage→Page 5/9

In This Issue...

We Spartans!

48-Star Flag Offers History to BHS

Jessica RamirezNews/Editor-in-chief

Roonie Fest: The Academy Awards of Berthoud High SchoolAlison BonillaNews writer

FBLA Moves Past Districts and Looks Toward State in VailJosh AtkinsonSports writer

An artifact from Berthoud High School’s past has been revived: an old 48-star flag that hung in BHS

when Turner Middle School was still the high school. Beth Bristol was the secretary for the superintendant when the flag was hanging. After the superintendant left, he gave the flag to Bristol, who kept it until just recently when she contacted Stu Boyd. Boyd took the flag and decided to recognize its importance to BHS students on January 21. Berthoud students and alumni alike crowded into the auditorium to witness the historic event. Boyd spoke about the flag and its past. He talked about the American flag, presenting interesting facts like what date a new flag always flies on (July 4th). He told the story of Bristol keeping track of the flag during her eight moves to five different states.

After the ceremony, Boyd said, “It’s important for students to appreciate history, including local history. This flag is an important part of our local history. It’s a link between the old building and students and this building and these students.” The flag was framed and will be hung directly outside the school auditorium. Next to it will be a painting donated by Rolland Fletcher several years ago, who is in the picture with three soldiers, Spike Bales, Tony Velasquez, and Barry Thomas, who attended Berthoud schools and died in combat . A l l B H S s t u d e n t s w e r e noticeably respectful for this event which Boyd referred to as a “wonderful, historical moment.”

PHOTO BY GRAHAM LIER - MTBerthoud JROTC members carfully pick up the flag to move it from the auditorium to its new home near the soldier’s painting.

Every year the students of BHS dig out their cameras and write scripts for their fr iends to l ive out dreams of being movie stars. Students get to experience the thrill of creating their own films for Student Leadership’s movie festival, Roonie Fest. “I’m really interested in film. The idea just kind of came to us. They’ll think it’s kind of different from what they see in the mainstream.” said sophomore and film creator T.K. Stout, who teamed up with friends to make a movie. Last year’s winner Luke Taylor won with a spoof based on the James

Bond series. This year, the event will take place on Thursday, F e b r u a r y 2 4 , i n t h e school’s auditorium where the audience will see the premieres of eight student made films. The price to attend will be $5 and the movies will begin to show at 6:30. “Its going to be really awesome!” said senior and student body president Katie Kouns. “Student council is making a movie and it’s sure to be epic.”

PHOTO BY ALI BONILLA - MT

IN A.R.E. PHOTOS: TASHA WAGLER, AVERIE LESTER, TRAVIS RICE, FORREST EPPLER, DANIEL WEINSTEIN, KAYLA FAST, KENNY FREIBERG, MATT HEATON, JUAN VACA, MOLLY BONDS, MRS. REGELMAN

The Future Business L e a d e r s o f A m e r i c a (FBLA) provides students at Berthoud High School with opportunities to learn about various elements within the business field. Students then practice these new skills in contests against other schools. According to sponsor Teri Assmussen, “The students are tested in the areas of production and presentation.

Objective tests are also used to measure the students against one another.” On February 9, thirteen FBLA members from BHS ventured to Greeley. There they competed at Districts in ten different categories, ranging from Computer A p p l i c a t i o n s t o Wo r d Processing. Five students earned the chance to move on to the state competition. Chad Schlagal placed first in Computer Applications. Ravi Smith earned a spot at state with his fourth place finish in Economics. As a group Alexandra Hofmeister, Zach Sandell, and Alisha Golson will compete at state in the area of Parlimentary Procedures as a result of their second place finish at districts. The State FBLA Competition will occur April 17 – 19 in Vail.

Members of FBLA stand proud after Districts in Greeley.

Photo courtesy of Teri Assmussen

NEWSJessica Ramirez, Editor2

February 14, 2011

THE MAROON TRIBUNEBerthoud High School

2010 - 2011 StaffAdvisor

Kim SkoricEditor-in-Chief Jessica Ramirez

Business ManagerGraham Lier

NewsJessica Ramirez - Editor

Alison BonillaOpinions

Graham Lier - EditorFun Page

Carrie Olson - EditorFeatures

Dylan Aldrich - EditorStefani Messick

SpotlightKatlyn Baker - Editor

Rachel EhnertEntertainment

Meghan Hyatt - EditorAlex Land

Graham LierSaraswoti Shinkle

The Maroon LampoonJosh Krokowski - Editor

Stefani MessickSports

Greg Hutchins - EditorJosh Atkinson

Samantha Alexander Zack Smith

PhotographyMeghan Hyatt - Editor

CartoonistSaraswoti Shinkle

DistributionScott Downer

DISCLAIMER: The Maroon Tribune is owned by the Thompson R-2J School

Board and operates under the student pub-lication policy. The Maroon Tribune is pub-lished every school month by the Berthoud High School Newspaper Staff. Letters to

the editor are encouraged, but they must be signed and are subject to editing. Poetry,

photographs, and creative writing can also be submitted for publication. Contributions should be 300 words or less and publication is the decision of the editor. The basic rate

for advertising is $5.00 per square inch. Subscriptions to The Maroon Tribune are

$15.00 per school year. Student editors are responsible for the content of each issue.

Thank you for your support and help.

The club Go MAD (Go Make A Difference) is dedicated to helping the community. Go MAD recently met after school and made bracelets to raise money for an organization, Kiva. The bracelets will be sold at lunch the week Tuesday February 22 through Friday February 25. Specially designed pins will be sold with the bracelets for $2. “It’s giving a chance to people who have had to work for everything their whole lives. It’s a great way for high schoolers to make a difference.” said senior and co-founder of Go MAD, Lauren Sawinska. All money made will be donated to Kiva, a website that is using microfinancing to fund entrepreneurs in developing countries. “We’re teaching people how to fish instead of giving them fish.” said one of the club’s sponsors Ann Gonzales.

Go MAD and Buy Bracelets

Alison BonillaNews writer Every year, one of the most

popular fundraisers at Berthoud H i g h i s P e n n y Wars. Organized by National Honor Society, the event always successfully raises money to help a community member in need. Last year, the school raised $1300 to help Berthoud student Alex Sabados. This year, the money went to another local student with medical expenses. Senior NHS member Lauren Sawinska was chairperson of the event, along with juniors Allie Berger and Nick Trujllo. Sawinska

NHS Declares War at BHSThe annual Penny Wars fundraiser comes to Berthoud

said, “Penny Wars is a fundraiser that shows if everyone gives just a little of what they have, we can make a difference.”

The event was held January 31 through February 11. Teacher Laurie Brandvold, long-t ime winner o f Penny Wars, said, “I love to inspire kids to give. It’s really the result I’m interested in, not winning.” Trujillo said, “My favorite thing about Penny Wars is trying to beat Mrs. Brandvold.”

Be sure to listen when the winner is announced to see how your class compared to the almighty Brandvold.

Jessica RamirezNews/Editor-in-chief

The Berthoud High School band has been growing in popularity in the past few years. Recently, three BHS band members became part of an elite group of Colorado students—Honor Band. Senior Beth Eggerling, flute, sophomore Stefani Messick, clarinet, and freshman Jake McDonald, baritone saxophone,

all got invited to perform. Honor Band begins with a statewide contest for anyone who wants to audition and anyone who a teacher recommends. The selected group performs twice. The first opportunity is in Greeley tonight, February 14, at 7 pm. Students can see the performance for $5. The second is at CSU Pueblo on February 17-19. Messick, who was invited to join Honor Band for the first time this

year, said, “I’m excited. I didn’t place as high as I wanted but I know I have two more years to try.” Eggerling participated in the event last year as well, but still said, “It’s pretty cool and I’m excited.” The band, with members from all over the state, is quite exclusive. McDonald, who is excited to perform, said, “It’s different from school band because some people are higher up in skill than others.”

PHOTO BY MEGHAN HYATT - MT

The Penny Wars jar, found in your 2nd period.

Three Berthoud Students Privileged to Join Honor BandJessica RamirezNews/Editor-in-chief

Spartans of the Month

PHOTO COURTESY OF JUDY RUGG

The BHS Spartans of the Month for February 2011. From left to right: Top row: Victoria Clark, Dylan Brown, Preston Hollis, Ashton Brown, Tabythia Lee; Bottom row: Clayton Figg, Kevin Green, Tyler Owens.

OPINIONSGraham Lier, Editor 3

February 14, 2011

The SparTOON!!!

Bodyscans Aren’t ViolatingJessica RamirezNews/Editor-in-chief

Have You Written Your Bucket List?

Alison BonillaNews writer

A few months ago, there was a lot of talk about airports beginning full body scans in the security process. Many Americans were unhappy about it, and for good reason. The body scan reveals some things that many people don’t feel comfortable revealing. However, if you know your facts, there is not much to be upset about. Recently, I went to the airport and had to go through security. While waiting in the long line, I read a poster about the new “full body scanners” sprinkled throughout security lines. The new technology really does not violate passengers as much as people first perceived. This is how it works. The passenger steps into the body scanner and holds their hands above their head.

Then the device scans the person, searching for any potentially harmful objects. The passenger steps out of the body scanner while the TSA agent waits to hear if you are allowed to pass through. The TSA agent never sees the image from the body scanner. There is another agent who never actually sees the passenger that looks at the image to determine whether it is safe or not. Since the TSA agent that looks at the images never sees the passengers and does not know who they are, I don’t see any problem with the new full body scans. I think it is just another way for TSA to ensure our safety on flights. In reality, people should be glad about the increase of security, not worried about what someone might see.

After people have near death experiences, they often realize that they wish they had done and experienced more things. They notice that many of the things they’ve done in their lives have been for other people or to earn money that they may never get the chance to spend. Whether it was to ask out the guy of their dreams or to go sky diving, people wish they had done more. Inspired by the film The Bucket List, people have begun creating lists made up of things they want to do before they

die. Last year MTV picked up The Buried Life, a show about four friends who set out to complete a list of 100 things they want to do before they die, while helping others along the way. A lot of times these lists are comprised of acts that are performed outside of the person’s normal, everyday experiences. They’ll learn new skills and meet new people all from just stepping out of their comfort zone. “I want to be able to say I jumped off a cliff as an eighty-year old man, that I did something interesting,” said freshman Keynan Arnstad. The thing that makes these lists so special is that you come up with your own goals, and you depend on yourself to get them crossed off the list. The ideas can range anywhere from reading a book series, to swimming in ice water, to biking the Great Wall of China. “I feel like if people write out what they want to do before they die, and then they actually do it,” said senior Brian Von Seggern. It’s often thought that before you die your life flashes before your eyes. It’s up to you to make sure that you’re not bored by your life experiences.

PHOTO COURTESY OF IMPAWARDS.COMThe movie that inspired the creation of bucket lists everywhere, The Bucket List.

PHOTO COURTESY OF KOMONEWS.COMA TSA Agent looking at body scans of a person she doesn’t know.

BY SARASWOTI SHINKLE

OPINIONS

Graham Lier, Editor4

February 14, 2011

Today is the day of romance... Valentine’s Day! To recognize the day, we put in the Versus ring a womanizer and a hopeless romantic.

VERSUSDing Ding!

Womanizer vs. Hopeless Romantic

What do you look for in a significant other?

Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate?

What is your ideal date?

What is your favorite romantic movie?

What is your favorite pick-up line?

“A hottie with a body, yo!”

“Commitment, hon-esty, and personality. Looks don’t matter.”

“Naw dawg dat ain’t me, foo!”

“I’m always look-ing for my special someone out there.”

“Is she paying? If not, what date?”

“Candle light dinner in Paris on top of the Eiffel Tower.”

“Have you seen this bod? I don’t need one.”

“‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

“Bad Boyzz.” “The Notebook.”

The Maroony AwardsWe conducted a legitimate survey of 80 randomly selected students to find out what Berthoud High School thought should take home the Oscars and Grammys this year (each of the 80 students chose to fill out either the Oscar survey or the Grammy survey). For the Oscars, check out the real results on Sunday, February 27 on ABC. As for the Grammys, which were yesterday, see if your choices matched up!

The 53rd Grammy AwardsAlbum of the Year

5%

10%

14%

31%

40%

Song of the Year

6%

13%

16%

24%

41%

Record of the Year

11%

18%

18%

20%

33%“Nothin On You”B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars

“Love the Way You Lie”Eminem Featuring Rihanna

“F*** You”Cee Lo Green

“Empire State of Mind”Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

“Need You Now”Lady Antebellum

“The Suburbs”Arcade Fire

“Recovery”Eminem

“Need You Now”Lady Antebelleum

“The Fame Monster”Lady Gaga

“Teenage Dream”Katy Perry

“Beg Steal or Borrow”Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs

“F*** You”Cee Lo Green

“The House That Built Me”Miranda Lambert

“Love the Way You Lie”Eminem Featuring Rihanna“Need You Now”Lady Antebellum

Best New Artist

2%

8%

11%

14%

65%

Justin Bieber

Drake

Florance & The Machine

Mumford & Sons

Esperanza Spalding

The 83rd Academy AwardsBest Motion Picture

37%

24%

12%

00%

00%

00%

3%

8%

8%

8%“Black Swan”

“Winter’s Bone”

“True Grit”

“Toy Story 3”

“The Social Network”

“127 Hours”

“The King’s Speech”

“The Kids Are All Right”

“Inception”

“The Fighter”

Best Actor

6%

15%

15%

31%

33%

Javier Bardem“Biutiful”

Jeff Bridges“True Grit”

Jesse Eisenberg“The Social Network”

Colin Firth“The King’s Speech”James Franco“127 Hours”

Best Actress

3%

3%

8%

32%

54%

Annette Bening“The Kids Are All Right”

Nicole Kidman“Rabbit Hole”

Jennifer Lawrence“Winter’s Bone”

Natalie Portman“Black Swan”

Michelle Williams “Blue Valentine”

This letter was read to the school on the announcements last week.

January 21, 2011 Dear Mr. Garcia and the student body of Berthoud High School, Thank you for your warm welcome to the dedication of the 48 star flag that has come home to B.H.S. as well as the tribute to my generation’s fallen heros of the Vietnam War. The ceremony was beautiful and you and Stu Boyd more than suc-ceeded in the goal of “building the bridge between” then and now as well as all the generations represented yesterday. I was so impressed with the young people who welcomed us upon entering the building, the respect shown by the students during the ceremony and the young people who spoke to us at the end of the dedication. The members of the R.O.T.C. contin-gent who escorted the flag did an excellent job. Thank you again. Sincerely,Annette SterkelClass of 1956

FUN PAGECarrie Olson, Editor 5

February 14, 2011

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Spartan Brain Busters

Penny Wars True Grit NHS Go MAD Band News

MaroonBerthoudRoonieBHSPecansCupid

Word Search

SUDOKU

Spartan SpecsCan you spot a man’s face hid-den among the coffee beans?

Illusion courtesy of NIEHS Kid’s Page

Sudoku coutesy of www.free-puzzles.net

Difficulty:

FEATURES February 14, 2011

6 7 Dylan Aldrich, Editor

Parents receive 1 out of every 5

valentines.

Women buy 85% of all Valentine’s cards.

3% of people give valentines to

their pets.

15% of U.S. women buy themselves

flowers.

73% of those who buy flowers on Valentine’s Day

are men.

52% of men propose on

Valentines’ Day

PHOTO COURTESY OF 123rf.com

PHOTO COURTESY OFinmagine.comPHOTO COURTESY OF

themiddle-ages.blogspot.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF nwamotherlode.comPHOTO COURTESY OF nwamotherlode.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF nwamotherlode.com PHOTO COURTESY OF nwamotherlode.com

The Truth Behind Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day as we know it has very much evolved since its very primitive days. What used to be a day to celebrate the gods and the founders of Rome has now become a day burdened with purchases of sweet cards and candy. What caused the dramatic shift in this romantic holiday, and why do we as Americans celebrate it? In ancient times, Valentine’s Day would hold host to a bountiful feast, and festivities are supposed to have included the pairing of young women and men. Men would draw women’s names from a box, and each couple would be paired until the next year’s celebration. The Victorian era marks the beginning of sending a valentine

card to a significant other, and the idea took off from there. Paper valentines became so popular in the 19th century that factories started to make them. Since then, handwritten notes have transformed to become

mass-produced greeting cards. The U.S. Greeting Organization estimates that roughly 190 million valentines are sent each year! The celebration of this holiday has also become a day where

parents give gifts to their children, and couples plan romantic dates or surprises. Freshman Emma Degnan commented on Valentine’s Day, “For teens it can

be disappointing and confusing, but for adults the holiday is more widely celebrated.” How people observe this romantic holiday depends

on their upbringing and culture, but many would agree that this holiday is only fun to celebrate if you

have somebody to celebrate it with.

STEFANI MessickFeatures/Maroon Lampoonwriter

PHOTO COURTESY OFdelivery.superstock.com

Freshman Jonny Ehnert’s favorite part of Valentine’s Day is “Eating chocolate and laugh-ing at all the couples.

Sophomore Alissa Hegan’s favorite part of Valentine’s Day is “Watching all the couples- it’s so cute!”

Junior Lauryn Adams says her least favorite part of Valentine’s Day is that “It’s so goo-ey! Everyone’s all lovey- it’s annoying.”

We asked Senior Michelle Hanford if Valen-tine’s Day is more of a big deal with a signifi-cant other, and she said, “I think it’s fun both ways.”

SPOTLIGHT

Katlyn Baker, Editor8February 14, 2011

What is your favorite part of Robotics? I really like building and programming

What are you looking forward to?To seeing our other teams – I’d like to see some of us go to worlds.

Why did you join Robotics?Because I’d done Lego and I thought VEX would be a step up.

What is your favorite part of Robotics? Being at competitions and winning.

When is Robotics the most exciting?During the competition when you are in the middle of a match.

Favorite memory?Realizing we were third at our first competition.

Avery Lester Mitchell Sandell

Kaleb Stennis Daniel Weinstien

What are you looking forward to the most?Nationals in Omaha Nebraska

Most exciting part:When you are in the finals and you want to go to worlds and you are waiting!

Favorite memory:Teasing the other teams at practice!

November 7th, the Berthoud High School robotics team, along with 23 other teams from the Thompson School District, gathered at the robotics EXPO at Loveland High School. These 23 teams were in it for the gold, they were competeing for a spot to compete at the national championship in Orlando, Florida. Berthoud High School showed up ready to go. They swept away the competition and walked away with first and second place in the tournament, which in turn gave them the trophy of qualifying for a spot to compete at the VEX World competition. Now, Berthoud’s back for a second round. And with one World competition under their belt and one team already qualified to compete at the World competition in April of this year, what is

the Berthoud High School Robotics Club thinking about? Fundraising! BHS Robotics Club has five teams competing this year and with a team competing in Florida, the teams are short on money. In order to compete at Worlds they have to pay a $500 registration fee. They also have to pay for hotels, food, and transportation, this adds up very quickly. In order to cover these expenses, the teams are proposing a challenge to the BHS student body: starting on February 12th, in your second hour class, collect as many receipts from Hay’s Market as you can. The class with the most receipts gets a prize. And not only do you get a chance to compete in this competition you also get the knowledge that you have helped to support your schools robotics teams.

Climbing Their Way

to the Top!

BHS Robotics:

Katlyn BakerSpotlight editor

Rachel EhnertSpotlight writer

andWhat is your favorite part of Robotics?Building the robots.

What are you looking forward to?Having fun and partying with my team!

Why did you join Robotics?

It looked interesting.

Meghan Hyatt, Editor 9

February 14, 2011

ENTERTAINMENT

This new addition to The Maroon Tribune provides a way for students to catch up on the latest movies, music, web-sites, clothing, food and so much more. Not only will you be able to read reviews from staff members, but you will also be seeing other fellow students giving their thought on the reviews as well. Hope you enjoy this new section of the paper.

challenge for these men because they aren’t exactly socially adept. I would have to give this show 5 Spartans because the writing and acting of this show is incredible. Jim Parsons, who plays Sheldon, is simply amazing; You can think of him as a modernized version of Spock. Every episode maintains the same level of quick-witted humor and scientific informat ion which keeps audiences interested, learning, and comfortably confused at the same time. For anyone who hasn’t watched this show, I

“ It was full of grit!”- Russell D’ Amico, senior

“ There was some cowboys, guns, traveling, killing, horses, and bad

people, so if you’re into any of these things, you will absolutaly love

all this movie with all your being”

- Ani Santillan, senior

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.BING.COM

“ Watch it. It makes you laugh.”

-Mrs. Asmussen

“I’ve watched one episode and I’m hooked.”

-Mandy Brandt- Janich

“What part of an inverse tangent approaching an

asymptote don’t you understand?” said by Dr. Sheldon Cooper,

courtesy of Abraham Payan.

Over Christmas break, I became obsessed with the sit-com “The Big Bang Theory,” which is on Thursday nights at 7:00. I ended up watching all three seasons in a row. For those who have never watched, the premise of the show is: four insanely intelligent, genius scientists, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Raj are forced to interact with a new girl-next-store- neighbor named Penny, which moves into the apartment across the hall from Sheldon and Leonard. This of course is a

highly recommend that they watch.

The Big Bang TheorySara shinkleCartoonist

Examples From Website:

Daughter: Do you know that you have an automatic signature? After

every text you send this appears: )o( Dad: That’s an ice spider

Dad: I just saw a horse scratching his neck on barbed wire.

Daughter: Sweet, Dad.

Mom: Our church is going to be on the news tonight

Son: That’s cool! what for? Mom: A bone washed up in the ditch. They think it’s human!

True Grit: Western FunGraham lierOpinions editor/business manager

When Parents Text is the only website that has ever made me laugh. These real texts from parents of teenagers are humorous in ways that only adolescents would understand. These kids from all over the country send in amusing things that their parents texted them. We all know that parents have a hard time coming to terms with technology, and it is an entertaining way to “celebrate” these mistakes.

When Parents Text: The Newest Website for Entertainment

It was suggested to me that I should see the latest Oscar-nominated Coen Bros. film, True Grit. Since I have only seen two other Coen Bros. films (O Brother! Where Art Thou? and A Serious Man), I was not sure what to expect. Nevertheless, the Western-Adventure film kept me completely enthralled from the beginning to the very end. In the beginning, 14 year-old Mattie Ross (newcomer Hailee Steinfeld) asks a man of “true grit,” Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) to hunt down Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), the man who killed her father. As part of the agreement between her and Cogburn, Mattie also joins the hunt. What follows is

an exciting and classic western film storyline that is filled with some very memorable moments. For her first film, Steinfeld performed amazingly well as Mattie Ross. Hers is, no doubt, the best performance in the film. Also extremely strong are the performances of Academy Award winning Bridges, as the bounty hunter Rooster Cogburn, and Academy Award nominated Matt Damon, who played the serious Texas Ranger La Boeuf who occasionally joined Cogburn and Ross. I am somewhat of a newcomer to Coen Bros. films, but this movie has convinced me to watch some of their other critically acclaimed productions. True Grit, with

its strong performances, classic western atmosphere, and exciting moments, is one of the holiday season’s stand-out films. If you have not seen it yet, I highly recommend that you do. It didn’t score 5 Spartan Heads for nothing!

The tagline of this website is, “Small keypad, old hands.” Going into fu r t h e r exp l ana t i on , the creators explain , “This blog is dedicated to the trials and errors that come when a parent handles a cell phone.” We all search for sources of amusement and laughter, so the next time you are sitting on the computer and bored to death by people’s ignorant posts on Facebook, try out a new site. I promise if you read a cluster of the

texts, you are sure to find at least one of them that you find worthy of sharing with your friends.

Alex LandEntertainment writer

Josh Krokowski, Editor10February 14, 2011

THE

MAROON LAMPOON

532-4747

269 Mountain Ave. Berthoud, CO

Delivery•Dine-in•Carry-out•Take-and-bake•

Berthoud’s Very Own

1 large 2-topping pizza for $10.66

2 large 1-topping pizzas for $16

Cupid Gone Stupid

STEFANI MessickFeatures/Maroon Lampoonwriter

The latest news from authorities: Cupid has been arrested! At about 11 pm last night, Cupid was cor-nered by local law enforcement of-ficers and brought in on charges of sexual assault. Our latest inter-view with Cupid tells us that his be-loved bow broke last week due to a high demand for love arrows. With his bow broken, Cupid tells us that he resorted to al-ternative methods of pinning love on couples. “Yeah, as a last resort, I ended up slapping the arrows onto people’s,

PHOTO COURTESY OF PARENTING.LEEHASEN.COM

Average IQ

Cupid’s IQ

Distribution of Valentine Related IQ Levels

Toyota Teams Up With Budweiser for Super Bowl Ad

Due to Toyota’s dwindling sales, they plan to team with a Super Bowl commercial legend, Budweiser. “We are really excited,” said Toyota President Akio Toyoda, “This will be the first time beer and cars will be combined on such a massive scale.” Not only will the two companies collaborate to create an advertise-ment, but they also plan to offer exclusive deals with each other’s product. Free samples will be avail-able from 4-6 pm at local Toyota dealers. Slogans will include “Buy a New Camry, Drink Enough Beer to Crash it On the Way Home” and “The Best DUIdea.” When asked about plans for the ad campaign for next year, Budweiser

PHOTO COURTESY OF camrytoyota.org

PHOTO COURTESY OF forums.adobe.com

Josh KrokowskiMaroon Lampoon Editor

*THE MAROON TRIBUNE STAFF WISHES TO INFORM ITS READERS THAT THE OPINIONS CONTAINED WITHIN THIS PAGE ARE NOT ENDORSED BY THE PAPER AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE ENTIRE STAFF. ITEMS WITHIN ARE FICTIONAL AND MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY*

President David Peacock answered , “We are still discussing it with mar-keting, but we know the main goal is to promote drinking our beer and driving a Toyota, something similar to ‘Drink and Drive Responsibly.’”

Ten Things All Superbowl Ads Need

1. Have at least one person obtain near fatal wounds. (Preferably, by electrocution or blunt force trauma) 2. Attractive women 3. Monkeys 4. Attractive female monkeys 5. If there is any text to display on screen, keep the reading level below 2nd grade. This is not an episode of NOVA, it’s the Super Bowl! 6. A cute talking baby 7. Advertise beer 8. A cute talking baby drinking beer (Lawsuits anyone?) 9. Insult Justin Bieber (Thanks Ozzy) 10. Remember the golden rule of mainstream B-grade comedy: It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious.

um, bottoms. It was the only way.” Only way or not, Cupid will have to pay for his poor actions. With Valentine’s Day in full swing today, however, we will see a huge drop in mushy love stories with Cupid be-hind bars. Hopefully, Cupid will remember

his time behind bars. He says he is mak-ing fond memories: “I get to hang out with Santa Claus who was brought in for break-ing and entering, as well as the Tooth Fairy for stealing per-sonal property. They have some great sto-ries, you know?” Next time you

see Cupid, advise him not to be so…well… stupid!

SPORTSGreg Hutchins, Editor 11

February 14, 2011

Wrestling Dominates at the Soeby Spartan ClassicBig Home Win Prepares the Spartans for Regional and State Competitions

ABOVE: Berthoud High School senior wrestler Cooper Wynn shakes hands and squares off Saturday January 15 during the Sobe Spartan Classic.

LEFT: Berthoud High School junior wrestler Cory Ellis looked towards his coach for advice while holding down his opponent on the 15th of January. Ellis’ victory helped the Spartans win the dual. Even though the team did not win every individual match they were still able to dominate the dual contest, and in the end they came away with the 2011 Soeby Spartan Classic Team Champion Title.

RIGHT: Berthoud High School Senior wrestler Jesse Lyman took down his oppenent, gaining early advantage. However, he ult imately was defeated in the match D e s p i t e t h e disappointing loss, the Spartans were still able to push through and win the dual, emerging victorious over their opponents. The team moves on to the state contest Feb 17-19 in Denver.

ABOVE: BHS senior wrestler Alex Sadlo is declared the winner during the Sobe Spartan Classic. His win helped push Berthoud to victory.

PHOTOS BY SAM ALEXANDER- MT

Spartan Wrestling Seniors Take the Spotlight

ALEX SADLO ROBBY WORKMAN

COOPER WYNN

J.T. PICKERT JOSH ATKINSON JESSE LYMANNot pictured: Casey Couch PHOTOS BY MEGHAN HYATT- MT

Berthoud Seniors Help TVHS Swim to State

For a second straight year the Thompson Valley / Berthoud High women’s swim team has stormed

into the 4A state regionals and finals. After winning the title last season the team looks to repeat that achievement. So far on this conquest towards back to back titles the team has only lost one dual meet this season. They also gained bragging rights as the Conference Champions. When asked about the teams goals for the season the only one was “To win state,” said sophomore Sara Nienaber. There are many qualifiers from Berthoud on this state-bound team, including: Seniors Sarah Bracken and Jessie Pfauth, Sophomores Sara Neinaber, Allie Pfauth, and Cate Neightenbach. Freshman Emma Degnan, and Sophomore diver Anna Megenhardt round out the BHS state contenders. Both State and Regional results can be found at the Berthoud High School website.

Senior BHS swimmers Jessie Pfauth and Sarah Bracken pose for a photo following a recent

meet. The two compete for the defending state champion team

at Thompson Valley High School.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SARAH BRACKEN

Greg hutchinsSports editor

Greg Hutchins, Editor12February 14, 2011

SPORTS

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AMY LOBERGStarted playing: 6th GradeWhy: “My big sister played and it looked fun”Favorite player: Earl Boynkins Favorite team: Wisconsin UBest memory: Playing at team campCollege aspirations: Stout in Wisconsin to study Gerontology

DANIELLE WIKREStarted playing: 8 years oldWhy: “My older best friend played.”Favorite player: BirdmanFavorite team: NuggetsBest memory: “T.P.ing the Bakers house and having Joel chase us around.”College aspirations: Softball at CSU

JUlIA PERRY Started playing: 3 or 4 years oldWhy: “My dad taught me how and I just stuck with it.”Favorite player: Maya MooreFavorite team: DukeBest memory: Joel Fish Night College aspirations: CSU or Utah State

MEGAN McGINNStarted playing: 4th GradeWhy: “My big brother played.”Favorite player: Kobe BryantFavorite team: LA Lakers Best memory: The fish on Stephanie’s carCollege aspirations: Somewhere close to study Science

TANYA BEZANSONStarted playing: 6 years oldWhy: “My mom signed us up and it was fun.”Favorite player: Kobe BryantFavorite team: Duke and the NuggetsBest memory: Carbon Valley Rec league College aspirations: Some place for track or CSU

PHOTOS BY SAM ALEXANDER - MT

BHS Basketball Seniors Steal the Spotlight

JOSH KROKOWSKIStarted: Freshman yearWhy: “Cameron said I should”Favorite team: NoneBest memory: Morning practices/ Brendon getting lost at Skyline and breaking a locker College aspirations: University of Chicago for Math/Science

CAMERON BOTTSStarted: 4 years oldWhy: Felt natural Favorite team: NuggetsBest memory: Beating Sterling by 2 in overtime and knocking them off the number 1 seed in the state with a buzzer beater 3 point shotCollege aspirations: CU Boulder

Spring Sports Start: February 28, 2011Players Must Get Your Physicals by the first practice to be eligibleSee Ms. Coseo in the office for more information

SPRINGS SPORTS JOIN NOW!!!!!!Girls soccer, Track and Field, Girls tennis

Soccer- Kick Arounds in the Gym Wed.and Sat. from 1 to 3

Track and Field- Lifting and Workouts after School Have BegunFirst Practice Feb. 28

Tennis- First Practice for Interested Players Begins on Feb. 28