BEING ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC

Too much of a superstar for Barça

Having lasted just one season at Barcelona, Ibrahimovic revealed the most successful club in the world at the time just didn’t have

enough star power for him. “None of the lads acted like superstars, which was strange. Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, the whole gang – they were like schoolboys. It was ridiculous and I didn’t fit in at all,” said Zlatan of his time at the club.

Journalists have no right to question himBeing the authority on football that he is, Zlatan hates nothing more than to be questioned about it. One journalist who tried to do just that was asked, “you know football better than me?” before having his operation branded “low budget”. Then there was the chap he walked away from mid-interview because his stats were not 100 per cent accurate.

Devoted to the cult of selfHis autobiography is aptly titled I Am Zlatan. His advertising campaign slogan with sponsors Nike simply challengers audiences to “Dare to Zlatan”. His name is registered as a trademark throughout the EU. And he always refers to himself in the third person. If there’s one person that Zlatan respects, it’s Zlatan.

Considers himself a catchWith a long-time partner that is 11 years his senior and was already a successful marketing executive with her own country house and Mercedes sports car when they met, the swashbuckling striker naturally considers himself a catch. After being asked what he bought his girlfriend Helena Seger for her birthday he replied, “Nothing, she already has Zlatan”.

Doesn’t go to refs, they come to himThe last referee to mistakenly think their rule extended over Ibrahimovic on the pitch was quickly brought to his senses. When French referee Philippe Kalt ordered the striker over for a talking to during PSG’s 1-0 win over Rennes, Zlatan just stood still and refused to go. So the official came to Zlatan.

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Too good for trialsHaving set a record for winning the league title for every team he played for between 2001 and

2011, and commanded the highest cumulative transfer value in football history, Zlatan has every reason to rate himself. But then he did that even before his career kicked off, turning down an Arsenal trial as an 18-year old because, "he didn’t do auditions".

Wants Eiffel Tower replaced with a statue of Zlatan After becoming only the second footballer, after Pele, to be immortalised in a waxwork in the renowned Paris Musée Grévin, Zlatan was quick to point out that while the artwork may be made of wax he was made of “steel”. He then went on to suggest, “replacing the Eiffel Tower with an Ibrahimovic statue”.

Shows disdain to players that challenge himWhen Saint-Etienne defender Paul Baysse had the temerity to challenge the PSG frontman during a Ligue 1 game and then argue the odds with him afterwards, Zlatan responded in typical Zlatan fashion by checking the back of Baysse’s shirt to see just who the perpetrator was. Much to his shock, Baysse returned the favour.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUEP S G vs C h e l s e aITV, 7.30pm

T U E S DAY1 7 F E B R UA RY

This will f it on my mantelpiece just

great guys, cheers

Wo

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Fine, don't bring your brothers… or

your handbag

I’ l l see you at the gates after

school…

52 w w w.T w I T T ER . COM / Z OO 53 w w w.T w I T T ER . COM / Z OO

Wa xworks, t rademarks, audacious talent and zero respect for authority – move aside M o urinho, this is footbal l ’s most arrogant man…