You, Your Spouse and Your Career

Have you considered the consequences and repercussions on your relationships when you get

that new promotion or take on that special project? Often times you are surprised as to how

your spouse or significant other reacts to your new claim to fame. This workshop is designed to

identify and offer solutions to some of the problems which arise with relationships when

navigating through your career path.

Many of you picture success as: Notoriety & Prestige

What we are going to discuss is the pitfalls of success. The images few of you are aware of…..Like these

MORE MONEY…SAME PROBLEM

Rent $ 900.00 Food $ 400.00 Utilities $ 200.00

Transportation $ 150.00 Insurance $ 100.00 Other Stuff $ 200.00

TOTAL $1,950.00

Money solves some problems but creates a whole new set of problems and sometimes it doesn’t solve anything….for instance……If you make $2,000.00 a month and it is spent:

You have $50.00 available for discretionary spending which isn’t

enough to get you through the month…You need more money

Rent $ 900.00 Food $ 400.00 Utilities $ 200.00 Car Note $ 400.00 Transportation $ 200.00 Insurance $ 150.00 Other Stuff $ 200.00

TOTAL $2,450.00

You get that promotion. That promotion raises your salary to $2,500.00 per month.

MORE MONEY…SAME PROBLEM

You have $50.00 available for discretionary spending which isn’t

enough to get you through the month…You need more money

NONGENDER SPECIFIC DELIMMA

Your new title goes to your head Self confidence turns into arrogance Self Esteem turns into I-it is You start believing your own press You began to think certain people are beneath you You start judging your co-workers and others by their title and/or grade You began to think your way is the only way You start bragging about the name brand merchandise you purchase It’s your privilege to know me attitude

SOME OF YOU CAN’T HANDLE SUCCESS

Trying to talk over peoples heads

Using terms you learned in “Muckety Muck” training Acronyms you learned on the job Using those catch phrases

You didn’t know what these terms or phrases meant when you heard them.

But now you turn around and use them on someone else and call them stupid when they don’t understand what you are saying or their meaning.

SOME OF YOU CAN’T HANDLE SUCCESS

WHEN SUCCESS HANDLES YOU

You start working longer hours You start to bring work home Your cell phones becomes your new best friend You sleep less Tired more often You travel more

Then you add:

Less patienceMore stress

And let’s face it, one of the reasons you are feeling more stress is because you have started living off that extra $500.00 your promotion brought you. Gotta keep up!!!!

Do you think your family is feeling a bit neglected at this point? You betcha!!!

So let’s review what your new found success could bring you

No more discretionary spending money More bills A horrible boss More stress Less sleep A new friend…..your cell phone Resentment from your family due to neglect These are just a few things that you could bring on yourself….We have yet to discuss those issues that are inherently gender specific. Nor have we talked about how family members, friends, co-worker could react to your new found success.

GENDER SPECIFIC DELIMMA

THE MAN’s DILEMMA

Power and Prestige attracts women

Dealing with insecure spouse

Keep ego from becoming a super ego

WOMAN’S DILEMMA

It is a scientific fact that the more successful the woman the greater her odds are at getting divorced. The University of Toronto and Carnegie Mellon University did a study that suggests that Oscar winners in the Best Actress category are at a higher risk of divorce than the nominee who doesn’t win. Such as Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Sandra Bullock, and Hillary Swank.

Reasons for higher divorce rates among successful women include:

Longer working hours Successful women are more likely to cheat Less likely to have children And if they do have kids they are more likely to be unhappy about it They start to belittle their spouse They go Diva

These are the reasons that researchers have found to have some correlation between successful women and divorce

Personally, my opinion is one that I think all women would agree with. The major reason why successful women have a greater risk of getting a divorce is due to her man’s enormous ego. Let’s face it ladies and gentlemen…..Women who make more money than their husband have to deal with this issue.

And it’s that ego that get’s in the way when it comes to finances. Many men are raised to believe that they should be the primary bread winner of the family. Breaching this social norm has some unexpected and sometimes unusual effects.

Working Mothers/Ernst & Young surveyed 4,606 workers and poses the statement “I’m comfortable if my spouse/partner earns more than I do”

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

59% 73%

Men Women

HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS

Leave work at work

Avoid discussing work when with friends

Turn off cell phone,/computer when you are spending time with spouse

Try to save some of that raise

Suppress that Super Ego

Don’t go Diva

Spend quality time with spouse

Remember your job is not your life, only a means to let you live your life

Remain Humble—Never forget where you came from…