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JUDY GALBRAITH, M.A. AUTHOR OF THE GIFTED KIDS’ SURVIVAL GUIDES ILLUSTRATED BY KEN VINTON, M.A. YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN... A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

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JUDY GALBRAITH, M.A.AUTHOR OF THE GIFTED KIDS’ SURVIVAL GUIDES

ILLUSTRATED BY KEN VINTON, M.A.

YOU KNOW

YOUR CHiLD IS

GiFTED WHEN...

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

YOU KNOW

YOUR CHiLD IS GiFT

ED WHEN

...GA

LBRAITH

“What does it mean to be gifted? Is it about being smart? Creative? Talented? Or what?”If you’ve ever asked these questions, this book is for you. Humorous cartoons blendwith solid information on giftedness—its characteristics, challenges, and joys. First-person stories from parents who have been there offer reassurance and insights. As yousmile at the illustrations and anecdotes, you’ll discover what sets gifted kids apart andhow you can support your child’s unique abilities. You’ll strengthen your parentingskills and get answers to other questions you’ve wondered about—like “Are gifted kidsreally that different?” “How are kids selected for gifted programs?” and “How can I helpmy child make the most of his or her abilities?” And you’ll sigh with relief as you learnways to help your young gifted child—and yourself.

JUDY GALBRAITH, M.A., is the founder and president of Free Spirit Publishing and author of The GiftedKids’ Survival Guides. She has worked with and taught gifted children and teens, their parents, andtheir teachers for over 20 years. KEN VINTON, M.A., is the author and illustrator of Alphabet Antics andWrite from the Edge. He teaches art to 7th–9th graders and creativity to gifted students. He also teachesart education at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Ken and his wife are the parents of two giftedgrown-ups.

PARENTING/GIFTED

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN...

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

9

781575 420769

5

ISBN-13 978-1-57542-076-9ISBN-10 1-57542-076-7

Judy Galbraith, M.A.Illustrated by Ken Vinton, M.A.Edited by Pamela Espeland

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

“I LOVED this book! I’ve read most of what’s out there for parents of gifted children. This book is great for someone who’s just embarking on the wondrous journey of knowing your child is gifted—or for someone who

doesn’t quite know what being gifted means.”—Suzy Schultz, Chicago Tribune

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side by Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000.Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

For my mother, Lavonne Elaine Galbraith, with gratitude. She taught me to love books and reading. While I was growing up,

she gave me many opportunities to develop my intellect, creativity, and passions…all of which have allowed me to have

a very challenging and interesting life.–JG

This book is dedicated to the two gifted people whochange my life every day—my children Ali and Ryan.

–KV

Text copyright © 2000 by Judy GalbraithIllustrations copyright © 2000 by Ken Vinton

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Unlessotherwise noted, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ortransmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recordingor otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotationsor critical reviews. For more information, go to www.freespirit.com/company/permissions.cfm.

Free Spirit, Free Spirit Publishing, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registeredtrademarks of Free Spirit Publishing Inc. A complete listing of our logos and trademarks isavailable at www.freespirit.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataGalbraith, Judy.

You know your child is gifted when . . . a beginner’s guide to life on the brightside / Judy Galbraith ; illustrated by Ken Vinton ; edited by Pamela Espeland.

p. cm.Includes bibliographical references and index.ISBN 1-57542-076-7 (pbk.)1. Gifted children. 2. Gifted children—Education. 3. Child rearing. I. Espeland,

Pamela. II. Title.HQ773.5 .G37 2000649’.155—dc21 00-037168

Cover and interior design by PercolatorIndex prepared by Randl Ockey

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

Free Spirit Publishing Inc.217 Fifth Avenue North, Suite 200Minneapolis, MN 55401-1299(612) [email protected]

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

CONTENTSIntroduction ............................................................................... 1

Characteristic: Advanced Intellectual Ability (Really,

Really Smart) ............................................................................. 6

What does “gifted” mean? ......................................................... 10

Where does giftedness come from? ............................................ 14

Characteristic: Verbal Proficiency (Words, Words, Words) ........ 16

Are gifted kids really that different? ........................................... 20

Characteristic: Curiosity (Endless Questions) ........................... 24

How are gifted kids identified? .................................................. 28

Who gets left out? ..................................................................... 32

Is there a better way? ................................................................ 34

A Gifted Program Glossary ........................................................ 39

Characteristic: Creativity (No Limits) ....................................... 43

To tell or not to tell? ................................................................. 47

Are gifted kids gifted at everything? ........................................... 49

Characteristic: High Energy (Always on the Move) ................... 53

Are there more ways to be gifted? .............................................. 57

Characteristic: Focus, Passion, Intensity (One-Track Mind) ...... 64

What’s wrong with perfectionism? ............................................. 68

ACKNOWLEDGMENTSSpecial thanks to Betty Johnson, a parent, grandparent, and long-timeeducator and advocate for gifted children, who read this book in itsearly stages and offered thoughtful and helpful comments.

I’m grateful to the parents who shared stories about their gifted chil-dren and gave me permission to print them here. Although I wasn’table to use every story, I read and appreciated them all. My thanks goout to Tonya Andersen, Hilary Cohen, Lee and Dana Dugatkin, Kathy A.Eads, Pamela Espeland, Karla Evans, Christine Fessler, Nancy Golon,Leese Johnson, Kiesa Kay, Carolyn Kottmeyer, Joni Lawver, WendyLestina, Kiki Mercer, Lisa Rivero, Mike Robinson, Teresa M. Schultz-Jones, Michelle Smith, Elizabeth Verdick, Erin Vienneau, MeredithWarshaw, Gayle Wiens, and Kathy Zappa.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

1

INTRODUCTION

All kids say and do cute and wonderful things. All parents have sto-ries they love to tell about their children—times when they were sur-prised, delighted, or left speechless. As a teacher, author, publisher,speaker, and workshop presenter, I’ve heard many tales of accomplish-ments, achievements, and amazing feats. But the ones about giftedkids stand out.

John was driving to the store with his son, Lars.“Dad,” Lars asked, “if there’s no air in space, how does the sun burn?”“You don’t need oxygen for a nuclear reaction,” John responded.“Oh, that’s right,” said Lars. “I forgot.”Lars was 4.

Characteristic: Logical Thinking (Strong Persuader) ................. 74

Are young gifted children capable of abstract thinking? .............. 78

How can I help my child make friends? ..................................... 79

Characteristic: Sensitivity (Feels Everything) ............................ 82

How can I help my child handle teasing? ................................... 87

How can I build my child’s self-esteem? .................................... 90

Characteristic: Sense of Humor (Keeps You Laughing) .............. 94

Are there other characteristics of giftedness? .............................. 97

Advocating for your gifted child ............................................... 100

Taking care of yourself ............................................................ 107

Resources for Parents and Teachers .......................................... 109

Index ...................................................................................... 117

About the Author and Illustrator .............................................. 120

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

2.When defining the characteristics, I alternate between “he” and“she.” This reinforces the fact that these characteristics apply to girlsand boys alike, and it makes for easier reading than “he or she.”

3. Children used to start school at age 5, when they entered kinder-garten. Today, many children are in day care as infants and toddlers,and in Head Start and preschool before kindergarten. Structuredlearning begins at an early age. Rather than use the words “day careor preschool or school,” I’ve simplified to “school.” And “teacher”means any kind of teacher—kindergarten, elementary, preschool, orday-care provider.

4. Some of the language used in this book may seem like academic jar-gon. I’ve tried to keep this to a minimum, but sometimes a particu-lar word or phrase is the best, most accurate way to name or describesomething. Also, it’s important for you to know these words andphrases. Many day-care providers, teachers, and administrators usethem. If you understand them, too, you’ll be more prepared and con-fident as you meet with educators to talk about your child.

5. There’s a reason why this book is called “a beginner’s guide.” It’snot the last word on giftedness, and it doesn’t cover everything thereis to know about gifted children. (That would take a library ofbooks!) When you want to find out more, please see the Resourceson pages 109–115.

I’ve worked with, taught, and been an advocate for gifted childrenand teens for more than 20 years. During that time, I’ve talked withcountless parents. One question I’m asked over and over again is, “Ithink my child is gifted, but how can I be sure?” In fact, if you thinkyour child is gifted, you’re probably right. You know your child betterthan anyone, and you’re in the best position to judge your child’s abil-ities and potential. In one study, a researcher found that parents werebetter at identifying giftedness than teachers.

Officially, and usually for purposes of deciding which kids will getinto special school programs, “giftedness” is determined by screeningand assessment. Most often, this involves tests, observations (bytesters, teachers, and counselors), and reviewing the child’s school per-formance. This book can’t assess your child, but it can give you insightsinto what it means to be gifted, why it matters to know if your childis gifted, and what to do if he or she is gifted. You’ll discover some ofthe most commonly accepted characteristics of giftedness, along withsome of the good things (and not-so-good things) about each one.You’ll uncover some myths, find answers to frequently asked questions,and benefit from the wisdom of experts—including parents like you.

Please keep five things in mind while you read:

1. It’s very rare for one person to have all of the characteristics andtraits of giftedness described here. Your child might exhibit severalor a few.

32 From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

5

I hope you’ll learn something new from reading this book.Chances are, it will confirm what you already know (or at least sus-pect): that you have a gifted child—with all the ups and downs, joysand challenges that brings. It’s also my hope that this book will helpyou help your child. Of all the people in your child’s life, now and inthe years ahead, you’re the one whose love, support, and understand-ing matter most. I wish you well.

Judy Galbraith, M.A.

4

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

He knows everything there is to know about giraffes…and chess, and Top 40 music,

and Humphrey Bogart movies.From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side

by Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

• have friends who are older (because he needs someone to matchwits and interests with)

• enjoy books, movies, games, and activities meant for older childrenor even adults

• know many things that other children his age seem totally unaware of

At the beginning of the first grade, Raoul drew a life-sized self-portraitand presented it to his teacher. She was puzzled, so he explained thatit was a self-portrait “without his skin on.” She said it looked messy, sohe went back to his work table to simplify it. When he brought it to heragain, he had color-coded the nervous, skeletal, and muscular systems inred, blue, and black.

GOOD THINGS: A smart child is a source of pride. Plus it’s fun to havea brain and use it. Being able to learn, understand, and remembermany things is a definite advantage. Intelligent children are good prob-lem solvers, and they seek new challenges—which can lead to a moreinteresting life. And, though it sometimes seems that the only peoplewe look up to are athletes and other celebrities, smart people are oftenaccomplished, respected, and admired.

This is the trait most people think of when they hear the word “gifted.”A child with advanced intellectual ability may:

• seem just plain smart in a lot of areas, including some that mightsurprise you

• easily grasp new ideas and concepts• understand ideas and concepts more deeply than other children his age

• come up with new ideas and concepts on his own, and apply them in creative and interesting ways

• easily memorize facts, lists, dates, and names• have an excellent memory and never forget a thing (“But Mo-om,you promised!”)

• learn new materials (and learn to use new things) more easily and quickly than other children his age

• really love to learn—which may or may not include loving school(more about that later)

• enjoy playing challenging games and making elaborate plans—the more complex, the better

76

CHARACTERISTIC:

ADVANCED INTELLECTUAL ABILITY(REALLY, REALLY SMART)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

4. Stay in touch with your child’s teacher. Attend parent-teacher confer-ences. (Ask if your child can come, too. Why not, if the conferenceis about him?) Do your part to build a courteous, respectful rela-tionship. That way, if problems arise, it will be easier to work togetherto find solutions. Tip: Notice when the teacher is doing a good job.A thank-you note, friendly telephone call, or positive comment dur-ing a conference goes a long way.

5.Help your child learn and practice social skills. Encourage him torecognize and appreciate other people’s talents. If his classmatesand other kids his age don’t share his interests and abilities, look forgroups, organizations, and special classes where he can meet peoplewho do.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: A brainy child might be easily bored, especiallyin school. Sometimes a child with a smart mind also has a smartmouth. He might act like a show-off and a know-it-all. He might haveproblems getting along with others who feel intimidated by his knowl-edge. He might be impatient with others who seem “slow” to him.Rapid learning can lead to inaccuracy and sloppiness when little handscan’t keep up with speedy thoughts. Or a child might get impatientwith one thing (“I already know that!”) and want to move on, even ifhe’s still working on an assignment, task, or project. Plus being reallysmart can complicate life with more choices, more interests, more pos-sibilities—and more pressures.

ways TO help Your BRainy Child

1. Feed that hungry young mind. Make lots of books and magazinesavailable. Take frequent trips to the library. Find family-friendlyWeb sites to surf together. Visit museums, go to concerts, go tomovies, travel if you can. And talk, talk, talk.

2. Be a learner yourself. Show by example that learning is somethingpeople can and should do every day of their lives, not just whenthey’re in school.

3. Keep track of your child’s school performance and progress. Askabout his experiences and listen to his stories. You’ll be able to tellif your child is happy in school or bored, busy learning or frustrated.

98

MYTH: Being gifted guarantees straight A’s in school.

FACT: Being smart (even really, really smart) doesn’t alwayslead to high grades. Some highly gifted children don’t do well inschool at all. Then again, there are giftedkids who get A’s but aren’t learninganything because they already knowall or most of what’s being covered.So their grades don’t show progress,just performance.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

You probably noticed that this definition doesn’t use the word“gifted.” Many organizations, schools, and individuals aren’t comfort-able with that word and avoid it whenever they can. They think it’selitist—that it defines a certain group as being better than everyoneelse. They worry that it’s unfair to those who might not have out-standing talents or abilities. Some adults describe giftedness as a dis-ability to avoid offending people who aren’t gifted (or whose childrenaren’t gifted).

On the other hand, many organizations, schools, and individualsdo use the word “gifted.” It’s simple, straightforward, and clear. If thepoint is to support bright, talented kids—not hold them back—whynot call them “gifted”? And also make it clear that being gifted is agood thing? It’s hurtful when kids with remarkable abilities are madeto feel ashamed or apologetic, as if they should hide their true selvesin order to fit in.

“Arguments of elitism are foolish. This nation fosters a sense ofelitism when it comes to sports or the entertainment industry.Certainly there needs to be no apology for those who wish to nur-ture the minds of the best young students.” —JAMES BRAY

What does “gifted” mean?It used to mean that the child tested in the top five percent of the pop-ulation on general intelligence tests. Today we know that giftedness ismore than an IQ score, so the definition is much broader.

Here’s the latest federal definition—the one that reflects currentknowledge and thinking:*

“Children and youth with outstanding talent perform or show the po-tential for performing at remarkably high levels of accomplishmentwhen compared with others of their age, experience, or environment.

“These children or youth exhibit high performance capability in intel-lectual, creative, and/or artistic areas, possess an unusual leadershipcapacity, or excel in specific academic fields. They require services oractivities not ordinarily provided by the schools.

“Outstanding talents are present in children and youth from all cul-tural groups, across all economic strata, and in all areas of humanendeavor.”

* U.S. Department of Education, National Excellence: A Case for Developing America’s Talent,Washington,DC: 1993.

1 110 From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

Precocious: Usually refers only to young gifted children.

Superior: A comparative term. Superior to what? Towhom? A gifted child might be superior to most childrenhis age in some ways (for example, verbal skills), but in-ferior in other ways (for example, motor skills). Plus thisis a word that makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

High IQ: Another comparative term. Higher than what?Plus it’s limiting. Giftedness is more than a number or atest score.

Rapid learner: This is just one characteristic of giftedness. It helps us under-stand giftedness, but it’s not the whole story.

Exceptional: Once used to describe chil-dren who were “different” because theywere smarter than average. Today it’salso used to describe children withdisabilities. Giftedness is not a dis-ability.

Elite: This used to be a positiveterm, but not anymore.

Adapted from “Giftedness and the Gifted: What’s It All About?” ERIC Clearinghouse on Handicapped andGifted Children, Reston, VA; EC Digest #476, 1990.

13

OTHER WORDS FOR “GIFTED”(And Why They’re Not as Good)

Gifted children are called many things. This can get confusingfor parents (and even more confusing for kids). Some ofthese terms describe only part of what it means to begifted, and others mean something different todaythan they used to. Here’s a short list of words that are used instead of “gifted,” with reasonswhy “gifted” is usually a better choice.

Genius: Once in wide use, now used onlyfor the super-gifted—people like Einstein,Marie Curie, Stephen Hawking, and Marilyn vos Savant.

Talented: Refers to a particlar strength or ability (for example, a talent inmusic, leadership, or math). Gifted kids usually have many talents, notjust one.

Prodigy: Describes someone withan advanced skill that emerges atan early age (for example, a violinprodigy, math prodigy, tennisprodigy, or chess prodigy). Giftedkids often have many skills, andthey might emerge early or later.

12 From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

15

Where does giftedness come from?There will be days when you think to yourself, “What a terrific kid—and to think he’s MY kid!” And days when you groan inwardly andthink, “Is it MY fault that my child is such a pain in the behind?”

Giftedness is part nature (inherited from parents or grandparents)and part nurture (day-to-day interactions with people and thingsaround us). You can’t do anything about the nature part of your child’sgifts, but you can affect the nurture.

Spend time together with yourchild learning, exploring, and play-ing. Keep lots of books and otherreading materials around thehouse. (Isn’t it great that publiclibraries are free?) Limit exposureto TV and computer games. Provideample opportunities for enrich-ment—going deeper into subjectsthat interest your child, or workingon higher-level skills. Make yourchild’s environment a placewhere he learns and grows, blos-soms and thrives in the care ofloving, encouraging adults.

14

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

Your 5-year-old asks for an unabridged dictionary for her birthday.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

• read early andprogress rapidly

• enjoy playing withwords and inventingwords

• easily and spontaneouslydescribe new experiences

• give complex answers toquestions (even simplequestions)

• explain her ideasin complex and unusual ways

• have an early interest in printing letters, names, and words

Olivia was speaking in sentences at a year and a half. By age 2, whenplaying with children her age, she’d ask her parents, “Why don’t theytalk to me?” Her long, involved, made-up stories already included wordslike “difficult,” “arrange,” “ignoring,” “disgusting,” “appreciate,” and “seri-ous.” Her friends didn’t talk to her because they didn’t yet have thewords to converse at her level—a fact her parents found hard to explain.

1716

This is one of the most obvious signs that a child is gifted. Suddenlyshe’s speaking in complete sentences or using words you didn’t knowshe knew. A verbally proficient child may:

• talk early (and never stop talking!)• skip the period of grammatical errors (“I falled,” “he gots”) that most toddlers go through

• pronounce words correctly from the start• quickly develop a large and advanced vocabulary• use complex sentence structure (conjunctions like “however” and “although”)

• make up elaborate stories• easily memorize poems and stories• enjoy reciting poems and rhymes• prefer books with more words and fewer pictures• catch you if you skip parts of books you’re reading aloud to her• teach herself to read by asking questions (“What’s this letter?”“What’s this word?”), watching TV, and/or hearing the same books read aloud several times

CHARACTERISTIC:

VERBAL PROFICIENCY(WORDS, WORDS, WORDS)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

1918

4. Teach your child how to be a good listener. Here are the basics: Lookat the speaker. Sit up or stand up straight. Don’t fidget or act bored.Show that you’re paying attention. Nod and respond verbally(“Really?” “That’s great!” “What happened next?” “Wow!”).

5. Build some quiet time intoyour day. You and your childmight sit side-by-side read-ing, coloring, thinking, orwhatever—but no talking!If you have a gabby giftedchild, you need this dailybreak.

During a trip to the bookstore with her parents, Jessie, 31/2, pulled a“Bob Book” from the shelf and started reading it aloud. Her parents hadno idea that she knew how to read.

GOOD THINGS: It’s wonderful to have a child who can express herselfclearly, colorfully, and eloquently. This is a child you can really talk to!Plus communication skills are important to success in school and in life.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: A child with high verbal ability might havetrouble making friends with children her age, simply because otherkids don’t understand what she’s saying. This might be a child wholearns early to manipulate other people with words, or who uses lan-guage to show her superior intelligence and ability. Plus what if shenever shuts up?!?!?

ways TO help Your CHATTY Child

1. Encourage your child’s verbal gifts. Choose more challenging booksto read aloud. If she’s reading on her own, provide books, maga-zines, newspapers—whatever she wants (within appropriate limits).Make sure she has her own library card, and visit the library often.

2. Take this opportunity to build your vocabulary. Learn new wordstogether.

3.Help your child find friends she can talk to. Look for classes, playgroups, and hobby groups. Where to start? Ask your child’s teacheror the school’s gifted coordinator.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

2120

“Many parents and teachers would like the gifted child to be per-fectly ‘normal’ in every way except the ability to perform academictasks. Life would be so much easier that way. Over and over wesee in media reports on gifted and highly gifted kids the assurancethat (except for taking college courses in calculus while in theeighth grade) this child is just like everybody else. Even those whowork in gifted education often spend a great deal of time and energyassuring people that gifted children are children first and giftedonly secondarily, that they’re ‘just kids’ who need a little extrachallenge in school. This is simply not the case. Though they areclearly children, with children’s needs for play, nurturing, structureand exploration, they have definite differences…. As the develop-mental trajectory diverges from the norm (very early in life) it takeson a unique shape that will remain unique.” —STEPHANIE TOLAN

Are gifted kids really that different?Yes. They really are. They’re often so much more of everything thanother kids their age—more intense, curious, challenging, frustrating,sensitive, passionate. They know so much more. They learn so muchfaster. They feel so deeply.

Think about what it means to read at age 4, for example. Not onlydo you have a skill that most other kids your age don’t have, but read-ing changes your life forever. You have access to information andideas, stories and fictional characters. Your world broadens beyondyour family, school, and community. You’re exposed to the thoughts,feelings, and imaginations of adult writers from other times andplaces. As a result, your thinking skills race ahead of other childrenyour age. Reading isn’t just a skill, like tying your shoes. It’s a pro-found awakening.

What does it mean to have an advanced vocabulary? You soondiscover that you can’t communicate with kids your age. And whatif you’re just plain smarter than most other kids you know—or morecurious, energetic, focused, complex, and/or creative? Any and all ofthese qualities set you apart. You know it, and so do the people aroundyou. You act differently. Others treat you differently. They expect moreof you. Or they tease you for being different.

The sooner you accept and welcome the fact that your child isn’tlike other kids, the happier you’ll both be. And the more you’ll be ableto help your child.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

2322

BRIGHT VS. GIFTED

The bright child… The gifted child…

Knows the answers. Asks the questions.

Is interested. Is extremely curious.

Pays attention. Gets involved physically and mentally.

Works hard. Plays around, still gets good test scores.

Answers questions. Questions the answers.

Enjoys same-age peers. Prefers adults or older children.

Is good at memorizing. Is good at guessing.

Learns easily. Is bored. Already knew the answers.

Listens well. Shows strong feelings and opinions.

Is self-satisfied. Is highly critical of self (perfectionistic).

“The Gifted and Talented Child,” written by Janice Robbins, Maryland Council for Gifted & Talented, Inc.,PO Box 12221, Silver Spring, MD 20908. Reprinted by permission.

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

He has already asked “Why?” 100 times today…and it’s only 8:00 in the morning.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

2524

When Matt was 7, his parents bought him a science encyclopedia. Itwas 700 pages long and written at a middle-school level. Matt insistedthat the encyclopedia be his “bedtime story” until his father had readthe whole thing from cover to cover.

GOOD THINGS: Curious kids are fun to be around. They keep you onyour toes. They’re eager to learn, and they’ll ask almost anything—which is how learning happens.

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources ofhappiness in life.” —LINUS PAULING

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: These children can make you feel crazy withtheir never-ending whys, whens, what fors, what ifs, whos, and howcomes. Some of their questions might seem embarrassing. And theycan run you ragged as they veer wildly from one interest to another.

If a child is very smart, chances are he’ll also be very curious. And ifhe has strong verbal skills, he’ll use them to satisfy his curiosity. Giftedkids want to know something about everything (and everything aboutsome things), and they’re not shy about asking. Their insatiable curios-ity can delight and frazzle their parents, teachers, and other adults. Acurious child may:

• ask a lot of questions—one after another• want to know about abstract ideas like love, relationships, feelings, justice, time, and space (“When is today really tomorrow or yesterday?”)

• ask tough questions (“Why do people have to go hungry?” “Why are there wars?” “Why are some species endangered?”)

• really listen and process the answers (which means you can’t just toss something off without thinking about it, or you willbe challenged)

• have a wide range of interests• move quickly from one interest to another• enjoy trying new things• enjoy doing many things

CHARACTERISTIC:

CURIOSITY(ENDLESS QUESTIONS)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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2.When your child asks a question you can’t answer, say so. (By admit-ting you don’t know everything, you’re setting a good example.)Then try to find the answer together—by going to the library,searching the Internet, making phone calls, and/or asking expertson the subject.

3.What if the question doesn’t have an answer? You might say, “Youknow, that’s a great question. A lot of people wonder about the samething, and I’m not sure anyone has come up with an answer. Whatdo you think the answer might be?” Then share your thoughts, too.

4. Learn to tell the difference between questions your child cares aboutand those he’s asking for fun, out of boredom, or to drive you crazy.You might ask him, “Is this something you really need to know, orcan it wait?”

5. Be curious yourself. Let your child know when you’re learningsomething new, following an interest, or hunting down the answerto a question you’ve been wondering about.

ways TO help Your CURIOUS Child

1. Create a home library of reference books—a dictionary, thesaurus,world almanac, book of world records, book of facts, book of quota-tions, and one-volume encyclopedia, for starters. Add reference bookson topics that interest your child—stars, cars, dinosaurs, or whatever.If you have a home computer, get an encyclopedia on CD-ROM. Ifyou have an Internet connection, explore online encylopedias (likeBritannica.com, Encyclopedia.com, and FunkandWagnalls.com).

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Why These MeThods aRen’T perfeCT

IQ tests might fail to catch gifted kids who don’t read well, whose lifeexperiences have been different from many of the other children intheir school, and/or who are having a bad day. Individual tests aremore accurate than group tests, but they’re also more costly and time-consuming, so they’re not widely used. Also, different districts havedifferent cutoff points for acceptance into gifted programs. For some,it’s a 125 IQ; for others, it’s a 145 IQ. Twenty points is a big gap.

IQ BREAKDOWN

Strictly FYI (For Your Information), here are some of the most commonlyused IQ score categories. Note: There are several different versions of thisbreakdown, so don’t assume this is the one your child’s school will use.

IQ Score Category

180+ Profoundly gifted (about 1 in 1,000,000)160 Exceptionally gifted (about 1 in 100,000)145 Highly gifted (about 1 in 1,000)130 Gifted115 Bright100 Upper normal85 Lower normal

How are gifted kids identified?“Identification” is a word you may hear often, especially as your childmoves through school. It describes the process used to select kids withability or potential for gifted programs—when and where such pro-grams are available (they aren’t always). Identification is based on oneor more of the following:

• group or individual intelligencetests (IQ tests)

• standard achievement tests• creativity tests• grades• teacher observations• parent recommendations

Note: It’s always better and more accurate to combine several waysinstead of using just one (for example, IQ tests alone). Also, the waychildren are identified for a particular gifted program should reflectthe program’s focus. For example, if a program is very academic, acreativity test isn’t the best choice. If the program involves lots ofhands-on creative or inventive activities, an IQ test might not find theright kids.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Teachers might choose the child who’s neat, obedient, hard-working,and well-behaved, while ignoring the child who’s messy, headstrong,and challenges authority. Not all gifted kids are teacher-pleasers—andnot all teacher-pleasers are gifted.

“The extremely bright or the creative, curious, and questioningstudents, who may be stubborn, rule-breaking, egotistical, or other-wise high in nuisance value, may not be the teachers’ favorites, butthey sometimes are the most gifted.” —GARY A. DAVIS AND SYLVIA RIMM

Parents (that’s you) are the real experts on their children but may notknow how to go to bat for them. Plus how a child behaves at homemay be very different from how he behaves at school. Also, parent rec-ommendation is probably the least used way to identify gifted kids.Often, parents aren’t even asked.

Important: Once your child gets into the gifted program, that’s wherehe should stay—year after year. Children don’t become “un-gifted”from one grade to the next. If your child is “dropped” from the giftedprogram, find out why. Being identified as gifted one year and not thenext is very confusing for a child, plus it can cause serious frustration,anxiety, and loss of self-esteem.

Achievement tests measure what someone knows and can do, notwhat his potential might be. And they only test up to a certain “ceil-ing” or level. Tip: If you think your child is beyond other children hisage, you might ask if he can be tested with kids a grade or two ahead.

Creativity tests are good at catching gifted children who might slipthrough the IQ test net. But they aren’t used very often and might notbe available at your child’s school.

“Test scores should never ‘define’ a person, no matter what theymay reveal about his or her intellectual or achievement potential.No single test can assess the broad range of traits and abilitiesthat help to make a person successful and productive in society, awonderful person to be around, or even a person of eminence. Alltests are imperfect measurers.” —JEAN PETERSON

Grades tell only part of the story. The child with high grades might begifted…or might be a highly motivated, hard-working teacher-pleaser.The child with average or lower grades might have average or lowerintelligence…or might be gifted and bored with school.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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Troublemakers. Kids who act out, seek attention, disrupt the class,and play the “class clown” are less likely to be identified for gifted pro-grams. In many schools, admission to the gifted program is seen as a“reward,” and “bad” kids don’t get rewards. But that’s confusing behav-ior with educational need. Gifted children deserve to be in gifted pro-grams because schools should teach all children in the way they learnbest. What if a physically impaired student acted out in class? Wouldthe school tell him he couldn’t use ramps until his behavior improved?Of course not. That’s ridiculous. So is keeping kids out of gifted pro-grams if that’s where they belong.

Kids from minority or other non-mainstream groups.Many standardIQ and achievement tests are biased in favor of white middle- andupper-class students. They might not measure the skills and abilitiesof other kids.

Kids who perform poorly on tests. Some gifted kids aren’t good test-takers. They get stressed out or are easily distracted and perform belowtheir real capabilities. Or they may have personal problems that get inthe way of showing what they know.

Borderline cases. Some kids simply fall between the cracks. Maybetheir test scores don’t make the cut—but remember, different schoolsmay have different cuts.

Who gets left out?When identifying kids for gifted programs,certain groups and types of children are oftenoverlooked and underrepresented. Considerthis a heads-up if any of these descriptionsfit your child.

Girls. This is more of a problem in middleschool/junior high and high school, whenmany gifted girls try to hide their abilitiesin order to fit in and feel “normal.”

Boys with a lot of energy. They have ahard time sitting still and doing seatwork (paper-and-pencil tasks).Some are so energetic that they are sometimes wrongly believed tohave ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

Kids with disabilities. Physical, emotional, and/or learning disabili-ties make it harder for kids to show they’re gifted. Meanwhile, adultstend to notice the disability, not the child. Today gifted people with dis-abilities are called “twice exceptional,” but they’re still an unseen mi-nority in many schools and communities. Researcher Nick Colangelohas observed that when teacher and parent groups are asked to imag-ine a “gifted child,” they rarely picture one with disabilities.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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“Most school programs suggest that giftedness isn’t identifiablebefore third or fourth grade. Some schools don’t begin to addressthe abilities of highly able children until middle school or juniorhigh…. By fourth grade, some of the most intelligent children areresentful of waiting for the other kids to catch up. Having learnedeasy achievement without struggle and persistence, these high-ability students now find little meaning in a school day…. The ear-liest school years are the most essential for finding these childrenbefore their eagerness and joy for learning have been conditionedout of them.” —JOAN FRANKLIN SMUTNY, SALLY YAHNKE WALKER, ANDELIZABETH A. MECKSTROTH

Is there a better way?According to the U.S. Department of Education, schools must developa system to identify gifted and talented students that:*

• seeks variety—looks throughout a range of disciplines for students with diverse talents

• uses many assessment measures—uses a variety of appraisals so that schools can find students in different talent areas and at different ages

• is free of bias—provides students of all backgrounds with equal access to appropriate opportunities

• is fluid—uses assessment procedures that can accommodate students who develop at different rates and whose interests may change as they mature

• identifies potential—discovers talents that are not readily apparentin students, as well as those that are obvious; and

• assesses motivation—takes into account the drive and passion that play a key role in accomplishment

We should also think about identifying gifted kids earlier than wedo now. Usually children aren’t identified until halfway through ele-mentary school. For some, that’s too late.

* U.S. Department of Education, National Excellence: A Case for Developing America’s Talent,Washington,DC: 1993.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

4. Keep a daily journal of your child’s growth and progress. This doesn’thave to be a big deal—jotting a few notes is probably enough formost days. Write down those bright, amazing, funny things he saysand does. Track his interests, skills, and achievements. You can alsoshare this with the school. Plus it makes a wonderful gift when yourchild becomes an adult—a record of his life as a child, seen througha loving parent’s eyes.

5. If your child isn’t tested at school, have him tested by a psychologistor other trained professional who knows about giftedness and giftedchildren. If your child goes to public school, you might be able to getthe school to pay for the testing. If that’s not possible, you might con-sider bearing the costs on your own, if you can. Here’s what one par-ent has to say:

“I had my son Daniel tested when he was six years old. It took twodays and cost hundreds of dollars, but it was worth it. First, Ilearned what I had suspected for some time: he has a very high IQ.So I knew I wasn’t exaggerating his abilities or his potential, and Iknew he belonged in the gifted program at his school. And second,I had ‘ammunition’ to use when I needed it. I didn’t brag about histest results, I didn’t tell Daniel about them (to this day, he doesn’tknow his IQ), and I never shared them with his schools—exceptonce. A teacher suggested that maybe Daniel didn’t belong in thegifted program. I brought in his scores and showed them to her. Endof discussion!”

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WhaT You Can Do

1. Learn as much as you can about giftedness and what it means.Reading this book is a start, but please don’t stop here. See pages109–115 for more recommendations.

2. Find out if your child’s school has a gifted program. In some states,gifted education is mandated, meaning that schools are required bylaw to identify gifted students and provide services for them. In otherstates, gifted education is discretionary, meaning that schools areallowed to identify and serve gifted kids but don’t have to.

Note: In recent years, many schools and districts have eliminatedtheir gifted programs. Parents who ask why are told, “There’s nomoney,” or “There’s no reason to have a special program because allof our children are gifted.” It’s true that for many schools, budgetsare tight. But it’s not true that all children are gifted. If you need todiscuss this point with a teacher or administrator, you might lookback at “What does ‘gifted’ mean?” on pages 10–11.

3. Start keeping thorough records of your child’s achievements andprogress in school and outside of school. If you’re super-organized,you can set aside folders in a file drawer. If you’re not, toss thingsin a box. Keep all report cards and test reports. Collect examples ofyour child’s work from year to year. This is all evidence you canshare with the school if and when it’s needed.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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A Gifted Program GlossaryAs you learn about gifted programming at your child’s school, here aresome words and phrases you’ll want to know.

Acceleration/grade skipping: Advancing kids through grades aheadof the usual age or date. Note: There’s a lot of opposition to grade skip-ping. People claim that kids suffer emotionally when they’re removedfrom their age group. In fact, studies show that when children are al-lowed to learn at their own pace, they’re more motivated to learn, theyfeel better about themselves, and they have fewer social problems.

“Keeping a child who can do sixth-grade work in a second-gradeclassroom is not saving that student’s childhood but is instead rob-bing that child of the desire to learn.” —ELLEN WINNER

Cluster class or group: Placing kids in a special class or together in agroup in the regular classroom.

Compacting: Compressing several courses or units into a shorter timeframe. For example, a child who’s a great speller might finish thewhole year’s spelling lessons in a few months, then move on to moreadvanced lessons and activities.

MYTH: If gifted kids are so smart, they can make it on theirown. They don’t need special programs.

FACT: This is one of the most popular and troublesome mythsabout giftedness. It’s often used as an excuse for cutting giftedprograms or not starting them. Everyone needs and deserves anappropriate education. For gifted kids, that usually means some-thing beyond or outside the regular curriculum. Most schoolsand classes are geared for average learners, not gifted learners.Would you want to spend all day,every day sitting in a classroomgoing over the same old stuff? Whynot teach gifted kids the way theylearn best, instead of forcing themto suffer through years of boredomand frustration? Plus appropriatepacing and challenge encouragereal learning and develop studyskills—which are especially im-portant at higher grade levelsand as material becomes moredifficult.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

Magnet school: A school for gifted children, or for children with specialtalents or interests (such as French, the arts, or the environment).

Mentorship: Linking a student with a teacher, parent, or older studentwho acts as a friend, guide, and coach.

Pull-out program: A part-time enrichment program. Students are“pulled out” of the regular classroom for an hour or more each weekfor extension or enrichment study. Note: These programs can be dis-ruptive and imperfect—gifted kids miss out on special events in theregular classroom, and they might be burdened by double home-work—but this option is better than nothing.

Resource room: Usually the library (media center) or other speciallyequipped room that gifted students use at the teacher’s discretion.Resource rooms can be havens for gifted kids. On the other hand, thereare some schools where the “resource room” is for children who mis-behave. Kids spend their 15 minutes (or hour, or longer) staring at ablank wall. Be sure to find out what kind of “resource room” yourchild’s school has.

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Continuous progress: Moving students through the curriculum accord-ing to ability rather than grade level.

Differentiation: Modifying the curriculum to meet students’ learningneeds.

Early entrance: Letting children start kindergarten (or college) beforethe usual entrance age or date.

Enrichment: Replacing or extending the regular curriculum with spe-cial programs that focus on higher-level skills (divergent thinking,problem solving, creativity). Students work with specially trainedteachers or community professionals, or they work on their own proj-ects or learning contracts. Enrichment might take an hour a day, anhour a week, or a whole semester. Some communities offer after-school, Saturday, and summer enrichment programs for gifted chil-dren. Ask around to see if yours does.

Flexible grouping: Grouping students with similar skills for instructionin a particular subject area, usually math or reading.

Independent study: Letting students work at their own pace on programsthat fit their special abilities and/or interests.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

She builds a scale model of the Eiffel Tower out of toothpicks and marshmallows.

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Creativity is another obvious sign of giftedness. Many artists, musi-cians, dancers, writers, and other creative types make their gifts pub-lic. Showing, performing, and seeing their work in print are part of thefun. A creative child might:

• have an imaginary friend• enjoy acting and playing “let’s pretend”• spend her free time drawing, painting, writing, sculpting, singing, or dancing

• embellish her artwork with fine details• make interesting or unusual shapes or patterns using all kinds of materials

• use materials in new and unusual ways • be open to new and zany ideas• have lots of ideas to share• invent words• make big, dramatic gestures when telling a story or describingsomething that happened that day

• ask a lot of questions

CHARACTERISTIC:

CREATIVITY(NO LIMITS)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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GOOD THINGS: A child with an active, vivid imagination is a joy.Creative kids have endless energy for the things they love to do—dance, paint, pound the piano. They’re excellent problem solversbecause they can see solutions that rarely occur to other children oreven adults. They often grow up to be the artists and performers whoenrich our lives, and the visionaries who find solutions to the world’sproblems.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: A creative child might escape into fantasy,since everyday life seems boring. She might have trouble separatingwhat’s real from what’s not. She might go off in her own directioninstead of following instructions from other people (including you). Atschool, she might show off. And there’s a fine line between elaborateexcuses and outright lies.

ways TO help Your CREATIVE Child

1. Encourage and support your child’s creativity. Provide her with artmaterials and other things (games, LEGOs, costumes) to exerciseher imagination. Expose her to many types of cultural events (con-certs, dances, plays). Sign her up for special classes. Visit museumsoften and take advantage of the “children’s days” or “family days”many sponsor.

• respond to questions with a list of possible answers• think of creative ways to solve problems• add new details and twists to stories, TV programs, movies, and games

• make up elaborate stories• make up elaborate excuses for her behavior, or find “loopholes”• create complicated play and games

When 6-year-old Janet dawdled on her way to school and arrived afterthe bell rang, the teacher asked why she was late. Janet said, “Therewas a leprechaun under the hedge and he asked me into his parlor whereI found a family of baby mice playing cards, and then….” The story keptbuilding until the teacher called a halt and telephoned Janet’s mother.Janet had to stay indoors through three recess periods as a penalty for“not telling the truth.” She was confused. “I told the truth,” she triedto explain. “What was the truth?”her mother asked. “I had thoughtsthat made me walk slowly,”Janet answered, “and I told mythoughts.”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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To tell or not to tell?Parents often wonder, “My child has just been identified as gifted.Should I tell her?” In fact, gifted children almost always know they are“different” in some way—just not why or how. If they’re not told thatthey’re gifted, and that being gifted is a good thing, they may decidethere’s something wrong with them. Imagine what a relief it is for kidswho think they’re “weird” or “stupid” to learn that they’re smart andspecial.

“Most gifted children know they are different by the time they arefive.” —DR. PHIL IP POWELL

You might think, “Obviously, if my child is in the gifted program,she realizes she’s gifted.” But what if the program is called somethingelse? Many adults aren’t comfortable with the term “gifted,” and theyworry that kids who are designated “gifted” might get big heads (orthat kids who aren’t might feel hurt). So gifted programs are called bymany different names. TAG, SEARCH, SAGE, STAR, PEAK, REACH,and GATE are some examples.

Should you use the “G-word”? Yes. Kids should know the reasonwhy they think and learn differently from other kids (and feel differ-ent, too). Often, gifted kids who are told they’re gifted are happy andrelieved to learn the truth.

2.Make your home a creative place to be. Listen to music. Hang printson the walls. Have family sing-alongs. Put on skits and plays. Dressup in costumes. Have wild and crazy meals.

3. Set a good example by indulging your own creative impulses. Haveyou always wanted to play the saxophone or learn the tango? What’sstopping you?

4. Let your child decorate her own room (or her own part of the bed-room) however she pleases. (Okay, within reasonable limits.)

5.Make it clear that there are times when you’d love to hear stories,and times when you need to hear the truth.

6.When your child asks a question, no matter how far-fetched it is,never dismiss it as “silly.” If you don’t have time to address it thenand there, tell her when you will—and follow through.

When other little girls were princesses and Power Rangers, Zoë de-signed her Halloween costumes to be unique. So far, they’ve includedCaptain Hook (age 4), Bach (5), Benjamin Franklin (6), Harriet theSpy (8), Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family (9), andHermione Granger from the Harry Potter books (10).

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Are gifted kids gifted at everything?That’s what we often expect, but it’s not usually how it works. A 4-year-old who reads at a 4th-grade level is still a preschooler. A 6-year-oldwho wants to save the whales might lose her backpack on the way toschool. A 3-year-old who does math problems in his head might strug-gle to button his coat.

There’s a name for this: asynchronous development. Gifted kidsseem out of sync with what seems appropriate for their age. They may,at times, think like adults and act like children. They seem mature butlack judgment, simply because they haven’t been around very long.Sometimes their motor skills lag behind their mental powers. They cansee in their mind’s eye what they want to do, but they can’t get theirfingers to cooperate.

When Kendall was 3, her mother found her sitting on the sofa, lookingthoughtfully at her feet. “What’s up?” her mother asked.“I’m tying my shoes,” the little girl replied. “Really?” hermother said. “I didn’t know you could tie your shoes.”“I can’t tie them with my fingers,” Kendall said. “SoI’m tying them with my thoughts.”

“Some degree of ‘labeling’ is essential if gifted children are togrow up understanding how and why they experience the worlddifferently from others.” —DRAPER KAUFFMAN

Of course, that doesn’t mean your child should go around braggingabout being gifted. (Which probably won’t happen.) Or that youshould go around bragging about how gifted your child is. (Actually,that’s probably more likely to happen!) Keep things in perspective.

Parents also ask, “Should I tell my child her IQ?” Many teachersand parents think the answer is no. Imagine that you’re doing well inschool and feeling good about yourself. Suddenly you learn that yourIQ is much lower than you thought. You might tell yourself, “I guessI’m not that smart after all, so why bother?” Or you find out that yourIQ is much higher than you thought. You might decide, “I’m so smartthat I don’t have to study.”

Here’s what some experts suggest: For now, don’t tell. Later, whenyour child turns 18 or so, ask her if she wants to know her IQ. Shemight say yes, or she might say no. It might not even matter to her atthat stage in her life.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

Don’t be surprised if your gifted child follows different timetables inher intellectual, physical, and emotional development. She may have oneset of friends who are the same age as she is, and another set of friendswho are intellectual equals. She may be able to describe a complex ideain words, yet unable to write it down (or write it legibly). Help her de-velop her small muscles by playing with play dough or fingerpaints,stringing cereal or beads, or manipulating other small objects. And ifyou have a home computer, help her learn keyboarding and word pro-cessing skills.

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Some kids take a wait-and-see attitude, figuring that their motorskills will one day catch up with their mental abilities. For others,asynchrony leads to frustration and outbursts. Be patient and helpyour child to be patient, too. Reassure her that she’ll learn new skillswhen she’s ready.

It’s easy to forget that just because gifted children talk like adults, theydon’t think or feel like adults. And they shouldn’t be treated like adults.

“Highly gifted children are many ages simultaneously. A 5-year-old may read like a 7-year-old, play chess like a 12-year-old, talklike a 13-year-old, and share toys like a 2-year-old. A child maymove with lightning speed from a reasoned discussion of the rea-sons for taking turns on the playground to a full-scale tempertantrum when not allowed to be first on the swing.”—STEPHANIE TOLAN

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Have you ever seen a Looney Tunes cartoon featuring the TasmanianDevil? This is a creature that splutters, growls, whirls, and buzz-sawshis way through life. He moves so fast that he’s drawn as a brown tor-nado. If you look at your child and see “Taz,” you know what thischaracteristic is all about. A child with high energy may:

• stay active until he drops—all day and into the night• refuse to be idle• need constant stimulation• move around a lot, except when focused and concentrating on something that holds his interest

• be restless in mind and body

Note: We generally associate this trait with boys, not girls, since boysseem to exhibit it most often. But there are gifted girls with plenty of en-ergy. And maybe boys show it more because we expect them to be morephysically active, while girls are “supposed to be” passive and calm.

CHARACTERISTIC:

HIGH ENERGY(ALWAYS ON THE MOVE)

You’re exhausted all the time.

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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ways TO help Your ACTIVE Child

1. Find healthy, positive outlets for all that energy. Make sure each dayincludes time for exercise and physical activity. (What a great rea-son for everyone in your family to get fit and stay fit.)

2. Talk with your child’s teacher. Can the children move around dur-ing the day? How is excess energy handled in the classroom? Is theteacher sensitive to the needs of high-energy children?

3. Establish soothing, comforting bedtime rituals. End TV time, gametime, or other stimulating activities early in the evening. Offer yourchild a low-protein, high-carbohydrate snack (a banana, an apple,toast and jam, whole-grain cereal) an hour or two before bedtime.Read aloud to him while he’s in bed. Then, if he wants, let him lis-ten to relaxing music in the dark, with the volume turned low.

4. If you’re told that your child has ADD/ADHD, stay calm. Know thatteachers usually aren’t qualified to decide if a child has this dis-order. (ADD/ADHD is a diagnosis, not an opinion.) Have your childchecked out by a doctor. Learn as much as you can about ADD/ADHD. Find out what’s really happening in the classroom. Anddon’t be too quick to put your child on medication. That seems tobe the right choice for some children with attention difficulties, butnot all children. It’s definitely not the answer for gifted childrenwhose real problem is a lack of stimulation in the classroom.

Willie, 4, went ice-skating with his aunt Judy. After about an hour ofsteady exercise, she suggested they take a break and have a snack.“We’d better eat to keep up our energy,” she said. “I don’t need foodto skate,” Willie declared. “The energy keeps coming and coming!”

GOOD THINGS: This is a child who can keep up with you and thensome. He’s ready to go first thing in the morning, and he stays alert inschool—as long as he’s stimulated and challenged. Plus he’s fun toplay with.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: A high-energy child is easily bored. If he hasto sit still and wait for others to catch up, he might get frustrated andact out. If he doesn’t have opportunities to release his pent-up energy,he might squirm in his seat, have trouble paying attention, and refuseto do his schoolwork. Some adults might wrongly assume that he hasLD (learning disabilities), ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), or ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). If this happens, his gifted-ness may go unnoticed because the adults will focus on his learningproblem. Plus there’s the old misconception that a child with learningproblems can’t possibly be gifted.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

One evening, 7-year-old Kira was too wound up to go to bed. So sheread three books. Then she did all of the puzzles in a puzzle book (forages 9–12). After that, she used the computer to document the fam-ily tree. Next, she created and drew a cartoon strip. Then she experi-mented to see if, when you place a tissue in the bottom of a glass, flipthe glass over, stick it into a bowl of water, and then remove it, the tis-sue stays dry. Still wide awake, she made several origami cranes frommemo pads and napkins, and after that she made name tags for thecranes. By then it was 2:30 A.M., and Kira finally turned in for the night.

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Are there more ways to be gifted?Howard Gardner, a Harvard psychologist and winner of the MacArthur“Genius” award, believes there are at least eight different ways to begifted. He calls these “multiple intelligences.” They are:

Linguistic intelligence. Is good with words, language, sto-ries. Is an excellent reader, writer, listener, speaker, speller.Loves memorizing information and building vocabulary.

David, 3, saw a scary movie about ghosts in cemeteries. He decidedthat “graveyard” was the wrong word; such places should be called“braveyards.”

Musical intelligence. Is sensitive to melody, rhythm, musi-cal patterns, tempo, pitch. May play one or more instru-ments, with training or by ear. Appreciates many differentkinds of music.

MYTH: Gifted kids need less sleep than other children.

FACT: Gifted kids need just as much sleepas other children. But because they’re sobusy thinking, planning, problemsolving, and creating, they mayhave a harder time calmingdown and going to sleep.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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Visual-spatial intelligence. Understands how objects andfigures relate in three-dimensional space. Can rotate shapesmentally and “see” them from all angles. Enjoys chess,puzzles, LEGOs, maps.

When Luke was 5, he loved drawing maps showing parts of Pasadena,Texas, the city where his family lives. Pasadena is known locally for theway its streets curve around, sometimes even changing names after acurve. To make his maps more interesting (and to see if his parents werereally looking at them), Luke would invent streets and add them in. Ittickled him when his mom couldn’t tell which were the fake streets.

Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. Is good at handling andmanipulating objects. Has excellent body and/or finemotor control. Moves with grace and ease. Excels at crafts.Is a great mimic.

Jeanette, 3, was singing a long, involved ballad about frogs and bal-lerinas. Suddenly her grandmother realized that the melody stayed inone key, the words rhymed, and they also “scanned”—they were per-fectly in sync with the rhythm of the music.

Logical-mathematical intelligence. Easily learns patterns,calculations, negotiation skills, numbers, math concepts.Often enjoys science. Loves games, riddles, puzzles, brain-teasers, computers.

Shortly after he turned 3, while working his way through the “N” volumeof an encyclopedia, Michael read the section on numbering systems. He went to his mother and asked her to solve the following equations:A – 1 = 1; A =10. His mother was baffled. Michael grinned and yelled,“Binary code! Base two!”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Bobby, 8, struggled with a writing assignment at school. He startedthree different stories but always got stuck after a few sentences.Finally he finished one, turned it in, and got high marks from theteacher. When he took his story home and gave it to his mother, he toldher he wasn’t happy with it. “Why not?” his mom wanted to know.“Because it’s not a good story,” he answered. “I don’t have the courageto write down how I really feel.”

Naturalistic intelligence. Has a built-in love of nature. Feels apersonal connection to plants and animals. Enjoys being out-doors. Understands how things fit into groups and categories.

Ameli, 9, loves animals. When a proposal arose to create a live animaldisplay in a nearby town, Ameli wrote a letter to the editor in protest.“Animals were not meant to live and die in cage-confined areas,” shewrote. In her letter, she also mentioned that animals in the wild die nat-urally, and their bodies go on to become part of the soil in a continuingcycle of life. The Rocky Mountain Animal Defense League quoted fromAmeli’s letter in a large mailing, and no one was happier than Ameliwhen the townspeople voted not to allow caged animal displays.

Maria, 4, loved her gymnastics class. One Saturday, after the instruc-tor showed her a new move, she did it twice while he helped her andcorrected her technique. On her third try, she did it perfectly with nohelp. “How could you learn the move so quickly?” the instructor asked.“My body remembers,” Maria replied.

Interpersonal intelligence. Gets along well with others.Understands other people and their feelings. Is a naturalleader and born mediator.

When Santa asked Michael, 3, what he wanted for Christmas, Michaelspoke quietly and briefly, then hopped down from Santa’s lap and tod-dled back to his parents. “What did you ask for?” his mother asked,hoping it wasn’t the Salad Shooter he’d wanted when he was 2. “I toldSanta that what I wanted for Christmas was for all the babies in theworld to be happy,” Michael answered.

Intrapersonal intelligence. Has keen insight into himself.Manages his own emotions. Sets and reaches goals. Enjoyskeeping a journal.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

She spends four solid weeks studying Greek and Roman architecture.

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ways TO help Your InTELLIGENT Child

1.Watch for signs of multiple intelligences in your child. You’ll seethem.

2. Support and encourage your child’s many intelligences, whetheryou read his stories or listen to his songs, play chess together, shoothoops, or plant a garden. If your child keeps a journal, never read itwithout permission.

3. Learn more about multiple intelligences. Read Howard Gardner’sIntelligence Reframed: Multiple Intelligences for the 21st Century(Basic Books, 1999).

4. Learn about another type of smarts. Read Daniel Goleman’s EmotionalIntelligence (Bantam Books, 1997).

5. Share this quotation from Howard Gardner with your child (youmay want to make a poster together): “There are hundreds and hun-dreds of ways to succeed, and many, many different abilities thatwill help you get there.”

6.When you’re weary of hearing about test scores and grades, readthese wise words by Thomas Armstrong, author of Awakening YourChild’s Natural Genius: “Forget the standard IQ meaning of genius,and use models like the theory of multiple intelligences to help kidssucceed on their own terms.”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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• ignore any and all distractions (including you)• stay very interested in one thing, then abruptly switch to anotherwhen she has learned what she wants to know

At age 2, Jake already had a passion for cars. He walked the block kickingthe tires on all the cars—and every morning, he opened the newspaper,turned to the classified ads, and colored all the car advertisements. Byage 3, he could sit on the deck and call out the makes and models of allthe cars passing by the house. While sitting in his car seat, still barelyable to see out the window, he would endlessly call out, “ToyotaCamry…Plymouth Voyager…Buick Park Avenue…Mazda 626….” Heloved to attend car shows, where he conversed with the sales people likea pro. He had his own subscriptions to Motor Trend and Auto Week andwas thrilled when the mail carrier delivered a new issue.

GOOD THINGS: Focus, passion, and intensity are not character flaws.They’re what drive us to do our best, reach our goals, and succeed inlife. Some world-changing discoveries have happened by accident, butmost have been the result of focus, passion, and intensity.

CHARACTERISTIC:

FOCUS, PASSION, INTENSITY(ONE-TRACK MIND)

Gifted children are famously focused. They have incredibly long atten-tion spans for things that interest them—as you probably learned whenyou tried to drag your child away from a project or game. Or when youannounced “Dinner!” for the 10th time to a child whose nose was buriedin a book. A child with focus, passion, and intensity may:

• become so involved in what she’s doing that she isn’t aware of anything else

• throw herself into something; get immersed, even obsessed• get lost in her own world• set specific goals and work to achieve them• collect things• go further than most kids would to pursue an interest, solve a problem, find the answer to a question, or reach a goal

• take things apart (and put them back together again…maybe)• concentrate on 2 or 3 activities at one time (the original multitasker!)

• be very observant and not miss a thing• be very persistent (this child lives by the saying, “If you don’t succeed, try, try again”)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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4. Keep track of your child’s school performance. If she’s doing brilliantlyin only one subject, chances are it’s a “passion” and she’s neglect-ing the others. Talk with the teacher. What can be done to makethose subjects more interesting to her?

5.Help your child find a balance in life. It’s great to have burning inter-ests, and it’s thrilling to be caught up in them, but other things areimportant, too—like family, friends, and time spent having fun ordoing nothing.

David, 7, is easily distracted at school. At home, he’s able to spendeight hours straight playing computer games such as “Sim Tower” and“Pharoah”—strategy games designed for teenagers and adults.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: A gifted child’s passions can lead to stubborn-ness, tunnel vision, and resistance to interruption. Highly focused chil-dren might ignore their chores, homework assignments, family, andfriends during periods of white-hot intensity. They have little or no atten-tion span for things that don’t interest them. If their passion requiresfine motor skills, they might get frustrated when their body isn’t up tothe task.

ways TO help Your PASSIONATE Child

1. Pay attention to your child’s passions. Support and encourage her byproviding books and magazines on topics that interest her. Look forrelated Web sites and explore them together. Introduce your child toother people who share her passions.

2. For the child who loves taking things apart, keep a steady supply ofthings you no longer need. (What about that old wind-up alarmclock?) Check to make sure they contain no dangerous componentssuch as mercury, lead, or asbestos. Supervise the young child whois working with small parts.

3. Share your passions with your child. Maybe you’ll find one (or more)in common.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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• are highly competitive• are afraid of making mistakes• are afraid of showing any weakness or imperfection• procrastinate (knowing they can’t do something perfectly, they don’t start)

• feel sad, scared, and stressed much of the time• expect too much of themselves• expect too much of other people, which makes it hard to have relationships

• suffer from the “impostor syndrome”—the feeling that they aren’t really gifted and don’t deserve their success

Who wants to live like that? You don’t. And your child certainly doesn’t.

MYTH: Perfectionism can sometimes be a good thing.

FACT: Perfectionism is never a good thing. What’s good is thepursuit of excellence, which is not the same. Gifted kids (andtheir parents and teachers) often get the two confused. Perfec-tionism means that you can never fail, you always need approval,and if you come in second, you’re a loser. The pursuit of excel-lence means taking risks, trying new things, growing, chang-ing…and sometimes failing.

What’s wrong with perfectionism?Gifted kids seem especially prone to perfectionism. A few years ago,hundreds of gifted teenagers were surveyed to learn their concernsabout growing up gifted. Forty-six percent said they needed help learn-ing how to give themselves permission to fail sometimes. Angela, 17,said, “I personally never felt like anything I did was good enough.”Adriane, 12, said, “Many gifted kids are perfectionists, and they alwaysthink they can do better.”

Often, gifted kids feel pressured by parents, teachers, and friendswho expect them to be perfect. These kids are supposed to get straightA’s, to know all the answers, and to keep learning as quickly and easilyas they always have. As they move through school, however, the mate-rial gets harder. If they haven’t formed strong study skills, it’s not assimple to ace tests as it used to be. These kids are full of anxiety andterrified of failing.

Why is perfectionism a problem? Because perfectionists often:

• set impossible goals for themselves• limit their options and avoid taking risks• underachieve (knowing they can’t achieve perfection, they give up and stop trying)

• aren’t satisfied with their successes• can’t enjoy the moment because they’re worried about the future• are super-critical of themselves and others

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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8. Tell your child, “Mistakes are for learning.” Model the graceful accept-ance of your own mistakes. When appropriate, share what youlearned from them.

9.When you’re about to start something new, talk about things thatmight go wrong and what you’ll do if that happens.

10. Do a perfectionism self-examination. Are you enjoying your ownachievements? Or are you too hard on yourself? Note: Many per-fectionistic children have at least one perfectionistic parent.

“The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit ofperfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.” —EDWIN BL ISS

WhaT You Can DO1. Show your child that you love and accept her “as is”—completewith imperfections.

2.Keep your expectations in check. Make sure they’re realistic andhumane.

3. Create a safe environment for failure. Give your child permission tomake mistakes at home. Don’t do everything for her, since this impliesthat she can’t do anything right.

4. Praise your child for taking risks, even when things don’t turn out the way she planned. Praise efforts as well as successes. Praise appro-priate ways of handling failure. Praise things that have nothing to dowith ability. BUT…

5.Don’t overdo the everyday praise. This can encourage perfection-ism.Plus children who are praised all the time start believing thatwhat they do is more important than who they are.

6.Get your child involved in activities that aren’t graded or judged.

7. Tell your child, “Nobody’s perfect. No one is good at everything.That includes me—and that includes you.”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

He arranges all the books in your home according to the Dewey Decimal System.

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PUT-DOWNS VS. POSITIVES

Criticism promotes perfectionism. Are you too critical of your child?

Instead of this… Try saying this…

“What happened here?” “How do you feel about your report card?”

“Why can’t you do it right?” “You do a great job of…”

“Why don’t you ever…” “I like it when you…”

“Go look it up.” “Let’s find out together.”

“That was a dumb thing “So you made a mistake.to do.” What did you learn from it?”

“Act your age.” “I understand how you feel.”

“Are you still working “Keep trying. Don’t give up.”on that?”

“I told you so.” “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“You should have known “What can you learn from this?”better.”

“Just get it done.” “I can see that you’re struggling.”

Adapted from Sally Yahnke Walker, The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids (Free Spirit Publishing, 1991).

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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Jake, 3, had always called his dad by his first name, Joe. His motherdidn’t like this, so she asked her husband to talk with Jake about it.Their conversation went like this:Joe: “Jake, Mom would really like it if you would call me Dad.”Jake: “Because you’re my dad and I’m your son?”Joe: “Yes.”Jake: “Then are you going to call me Son?”Joe: “Would you like me to call you Son?”Jake: “No, I would like you to call me Jake. And I will call you Joe.”

GOOD THINGS: You don’t have to tell this child to clean his room. He’sway ahead of you. His sense of fairness is catching. He’s also a strate-gic thinker, which makes him good at solving problems.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: Watch out! He can spin very believable storiesand talk you into almost anything. He might try to organize people aswell as things, and people don’t like being manipulated. He mightneed help with his social skills. His way isn’t always the “right” way,even if it’s logical.

CHARACTERISTIC:

LOGICAL THINKING( STRONG PERSUADER)

Parents of gifted children know what it’s like to be talked into a cor-ner. (“He’s only six, but somehow he convinced me to let him stay upuntil midnight on the weekends. He argued his case so well that I justgave in!”) The logical thinker may:

• enjoy counting, weighing, measuring, and categorizing objects• love maps, globes, charts, calendars, and clocks • enjoy challenging puzzles• understand money• prefer his environment to be organized and orderly (“a place foreverything, and everything in its place”)

• give logical, reasonable explanations for events and occurrences• come up with powerful, persuasive arguments for almost anything• want things to be fair, and complain loudly when they aren’t• want things to make sense• understand cause-and-effect relationships• want to know reasons for rules

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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3.When you and your child disagree, take time to hear him out andconsider his point of view. Being the parent doesn’t make you right100 percent of the time. Keep an open mind. BUT…

4. Stand your ground when you know you’re right, even if your child“out-logics” you.

5.When you must discipline your child, make sure the punishment fitsthe crime. He won’t accept or learn from anything but (you guessedit) logical consequences.

Zachary, 5, was fascinated by his mother’s camera—an expensive modelwith lots of lenses. No matter how often she told him to please leave italone, she kept finding him with the camera bag open and its contentsscattered around him. Exasperated, she asked, “Whycan’t you just accept that the camera is off limits?”“Because it’s for using,” he answered. “You’re notusing it, so why can’t I?”

Jeanette, 31/2, was angry that she was losing a game of “Pretty, PrettyPrincess.” Earlier, her father had admonished her for showing poorsportsmanship. As she abruptly left the game, she told her opponent,“I’m not being a poor sport. I’ve just suddenly lost the desire to be aprincess.”

ways TO help Your LOGICAL Child

1.Give your child positive ways to use his logical thinking skills. Puthim in charge of projects around your home. Let him organize theCDs, videos, or canned goods. Ask him to help plan meals and fam-ily events.

2.Are you planning a family road trip? Giveyour child the maps and ask for his input.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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How can I help my child make friends?To a parent, few things are more painful than a child who cries, “Idon’t have any friends!” We know how important relationships are,and we want our children to know the joys of friendship. We also (let’sconfess) want our kids to be popular. Or at least well-adjusted socially.“Just not a nerd!” as one parent said.

When gifted kids have social problems, it’s usually because theydon’t have real peers to interact with—children with similar interests,abilities, passions, and talents, not just kids the same age. Sometimes,in an effort to fit in, gifted kids pretend to be less smart than they are,which can lead to underachievement.

Are young gifted children capable of abstract thinking?

Many are. They think in symbols and pictures. They perceive relation-ships between people and things. They grasp concepts like death andtime. Parents who at first dismiss their child’s comments as randomcuteness soon realize that the child really “gets it.” This is another wayin which gifted children may be very different from other kids their age.

Soon after hearing about time machines, 3-year-old Eli asked his mom,“If you and I died, could Daddy use a time machine to see us aliveagain?” He thought about it some more and added, “You could use atime machine to stop the accident of the ship spilling the oil!”

After watching a TV program on endangered species, Lars, 5, made aposter to protest environmental abuses. At the center was a skull-and-crossbones in a circle with a line drawn diagonally through it. His fatherasked, “What kind of skull is that?” “It’s a cow’s skull,” Lars explained.“Oh,” his dad joked, “I didn’t know cows were endangered.” “They’reNOT, Dad,” Lars replied. “The skull is a SYMBOL of death.”

MYTH: Gifted kids are social misfits.

FACT: Some gifted kids find it hard to get along with childrentheir own age. Their vocabularies are more advanced, and theirinterests are more sophisticated, intense, and diverse. Butthey’re not social misfits. Gifted kids can form close friendshipsand lasting, meaningful relationships. They may need adult helpfinding the right people and developing social skills.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

She insists that everyone who visits your home bring a canned item for the local food shelf.

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WhaT You Can DO1.Help your child connect with other gifted kids. Talk with yourchild’s teacher or the gifted program teachers at other schools.Consider joining the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)or a state organization dedicated to gifted children. For more infor-mation, see page 112.

2.Get your child involved in activities and programs outside ofschool—groups, clubs, and organizations where he’ll meet peoplewho share his interests.

3. Look for science, art, or music classes that mix older and youngerchildren. Some schools combine grades 1–3 and 4–6; see if this is anoption for your child. Note: This may work for your child when he’sin first or second grade, but probably not when he’s in third grade.

4.Help your child find a mentor—a caring adult or teenager who willguide and encourage him. For more about mentors, see page 112.

5. Encourage and allow him to have friends of all ages—older and younger.

“The term ‘peer’ does not…mean people of the same age, butrefers to individuals who can interact at an equal level aroundissues of common interest.” —W.C. ROEDELL

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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• have an emotional connection to animals (some gifted children are strict vegetarians, even if their families aren’t)

• act more emotional than other children her age• cry, anger, and/or excite easily• ask many questions about pain, suffering, and/or violence• respond emotionally to photographs, paintings, and/or sculptures• respond emotionally to music• share her feelings and moods through one or more of the arts—music, drawing, painting, sculpture, dance, singing

When Courtney was 6, she and her family went to a restaurant. She ordered juice, and it arrived in a Styrofoam cup. It was barely on thetable when Courtney returned it to the waitress, saying politely, “I’msorry, but I can’t drink from this cup.” “Why?” the waitress asked. “Doyou need a different straw?” “No, thank you,” Courtney answered.“The cup is Styrofoam and has chlorofluorocarbons in it, so it’s notgood for the environment.” The waitress didn’t blink or laugh—justsmiled as she promised to take care of it. She returned with juice in aglass and solemnly vowed not to use Styrofoam cups again.

CHARACTERISTIC:

SENSITIVITY( FEELS EVERYTHING)

Gifted kids feel more intensely than other children their age. Theiremotions seem to range from hysterical laughter to buckets of tears.Many people can accept that gifted kids have adult-like intelligence,but adult-like emotions make them uncomfortable. The child whowins first prize for a report on world hunger is praised, but the childwho can’t sleep because she’s worried about world hunger is viewedwith suspicion. (Is she trying to get attention? Being overly dramatic?Or is there something wrong with her?) A sensitive child may:

• have empathy (understanding and awareness of other people’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences) at an early age

• have a social conscience at an early age• quickly pick up on other people’s emotions• be aware of problems that others don’t notice• worry about the world, other people, and/or the environment• enjoy and respond to beauty• be very curious about the meaning of life and death

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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ways TO help Your SENSITIVE Child

1.Acknowledge and respect your child’s feelings. Let her show her feel-ings in whatever way seems right to her. (It’s okay and even goodfor children to cry—boys included.)

2. Talk about feelings openly and honestly. Share your own feelingswhen appropriate.

3.Help your child develop a feelings vocabulary. Teach her words shecan use to describe all kinds of emotions. The more precisely shecan talk about her feelings, the better.

4. If your child feels deeply about the pain, suffering, and plight of oth-ers, take this opportunity to do service as a family. You might workat a food bank, visit shut-ins, or volunteer at a children’s shelter.

5. Since your child’s strong feelings might embarrass her in public,teach her simple ways to gain control of her emotions. Examples:Count slowly from 1 to 10, then backwards from 10 to 1. Breatheslowly and deeply. Think about something happy or silly. Note: Besure to explain that you don’t want her to hide her emotions, just“put them away” until she’s in a place where she feels more com-fortable letting them out.

GOOD THINGS: Because sensitive children know how it feels to be hurt,they’re careful with other people’s feelings. They might be especiallykind and good-natured. They might stick up for friends who are beingbullied or teased, and they place high value on helping others. They’reresponsive and expressive.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: Sensitive children take things personally. Theyworry about things that are too much for them to handle. They carrythe weight of the world on their shoulders and might become fearful,anxious, sad, even depressed. They have trouble handling criticism orrejection. Other people’s strong emotions (parents arguing, siblingsfighting) make them very upset. They might be extremely picky aboutwhat they eat and wear (for example, not tolerating tags, seams, orcertain fabrics).

When John was a toddler, he would take off his shoes as soon as hismother put them on his feet. “Why?” she would asked. “My sock hurts,”he would say. John couldn’t tolerate folds of sock inside his shoe, andthe seam had to lie flat in exactly the right spot or off came the sockagain. He also couldn’t stand the feeling of most sweaters, and all tagsin the backs of his shirts had to be removed.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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How can I help my child handle teasing?Your child comes home in tears. Why? Because someone teased her forbeing smart…again.

Gifted kids get teased a lot. Sometimes they can handle it, and some-times they can’t. Sometimes teasing turns into bullying.

If your child tells you she’s being teased, treat this as a cry for help.Don’t ignore it, and please don’t suggest that she “stop being a baby”and fight back. There’s already too much violence in our schools andcommunities.

“In America we often make fun of our brightest students, givingthem such derogatory names as nerd, dweeb, or, in a former day,egghead. We have conflicting feelings about people who aresmart, and we give conflicting signals to our children about howhard they should work to be smart. As a culture we seem to valuebeauty and brawn far more than brains.” —GREGORY ANRIG

“Giftedness is a greater awareness, a greater sensitivity, and agreater ability to understand and transform perceptions into intel-lectual and emotional experiences.” —ANNEMARIE ROEPER

When Benjamin was 3, his mother was struggling to make ends meet.As the holidays grew near, she worried that she wouldn’t be able to giveBenjamin very much. He entered a competition to win a huge Christmasstocking—and he won! The stocking barely fit in their little car. Whenthey got it home and began exploring its riches, Benjamin said, “It’s somuch, Momma.” Then he chose a few of the presents for himself andinsisted on taking the rest of them to Penn House, a social serviceagency in Lawrence, Kansas, so otherchildren could have new toys, too. Hismother, touched by his sensitivity andsweetness, asked him why he would giveaway so much of his bounty. “We haveenough, Momma,” he said. “And,” says hismother, “we did.”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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5. Practice with your child some ways to handle teasing. Here’s one:Stand straight and tall with both feet on the ground. Slowly breathein while counting to three. Then slowly breathe out while countingto six. Look the teaser in the eye and say, “I don’t like it when youtease me, and I want you to stop.” Then walk away.

6. If the teasing is happening at school, encourage your child to talkwith the teacher. If the teasing continues, make an appointment to talkwith the teacher yourself. Do this right away if you think your child isbeing bullied. Bullying is a serious problem that must be addressedand stopped.

WhaT You Can DO1. Stop what you’re doing and really listen to your child. Don’t dismissthe teasing as “normal.” Teasing may happen everywhere, but thatdoesn’t make it normal.

2.Affirm your child’s feelings. You might say, “I understand that youfeel sad and maybe even angry. Teasing really hurts.”

3. Talk with your child about why people tease. In general, these seemto be the main reasons:

• because they’re jealous• because they feel threatened and/or inferior• because they don’t like the person they’re teasing• because they don’t know positive ways to relate and communicate• because they think teasing is fun

4. Talk with your child about her experience with teasing. Ask:

• Who’s teasing you? • Do you care about this person? • Do you care what this person thinks of you?• Why do you think this person is teasing you? • Are you going to let the teasing bother you? • What happens if you do? (You let the teaser determine how you feel.) • What happens if you don’t? (You take charge of your own feelings.)

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Building a child’s self-esteem isn’t about flattery, compliments, andpraise. It’s about acceptance, affirmation, encouragement, and respect.

Note: Researchers have found that girls ages 8 and 9 are assertive,self-confident, and have high self-esteem. Around age 11, girls’ self-esteem starts to fall. They become insecure about their abilities, feel-ings, looks, and ability to make decisions. If you have a daughter, keepthis in mind as she approaches adolescence. Check your library orbookstore for helpful books. One example: 200 Ways to Raise a Girl’sSelf-Esteem by Will Glennon (Conari Press, 1999).

How can I help build my child’s self-esteem?In recent years, there’s been a lot of negative talk and press about self-esteem. If you believe what you hear and read, you may be thinkingthat self-esteem is a bad thing—that having self-esteem is the same asbeing conceited or feeling superior to other people.

Kids with self-esteem aren’t stuck-up. They’re confident and sure.They know their own strengths and weaknesses, feelings and needs.Here’s an excellent definition of self-esteem:*

“Positive self-esteem is the single most important psychological skillwe can develop in order to thrive in society. Having self-esteem meansbeing proud of ourselves and experiencing that pride from within.Without self-esteem, kids doubt themselves, cave in to peer pressure,feel worthless or inferior, and may turn to drugs or alcohol as a crutch.With self-esteem, kids feel secure inside themselves, are more willingto take positive risks, are more likely to take responsibility for theiractions, can cope with life’s changes and challenges, and are resilientin the face of rejection, disappointment, failure, and defeat.”

Pride doesn’t come from the outside. It comes from the inside—from doing things worth being proud of, and being the kind of personothers look up to.

* Gershen Kaufman, Lev Raphael, and Pamela Espeland, Stick Up for Yourself! Every Kid’s Guide to PersonalPower and Positive Self-Esteem (Free Spirit Publishing, 1999, p. vi).

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

He can always make you smile.

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN.. .

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WhaT You Can DOHere are five ways to build or boost your child’s self-esteem:

1. Let her know that you love her. Show her and tell her every day.Make it clear that you love her just for herself, not because she’sgifted. Give her the kind of absolute, unconditional love we all need.

2. Tell her specific things you like and admire about her. Go beyondschool performance. Does she have a great sense of humor? Doyou love her smile? Or the way she helps her little brother pick uphis toys?

3. Treat her with respect. Listen carefully when she has something tosay. Talk to her with kindness and love in your voice. Try not toshout or yell, even when you’re frustrated or angry.

4.When your child makes a poor choice or a mistake, separate thedeed from the doer. The behavior is bad, not the child.

5.Have family meetings where everyone talks about their accomplish-ments—things that made them feel proud that week.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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When Alexa was 4, she was interested in dinosaurs. Her parents gother a placemat describing the various dinosaurs by their ages—Cretaceous, Jurassic, and so on. She was also amused by the words forvarious bodily functions, including “crepitate”—which means “to make acrackling sound” or, more commonly, “to pass gas.” One night she pro-claimed, “Daddy’s entering the Crepitaceous period!”

GOOD THINGS: What’s life without laughter? A sense of humor isessential to our emotional well-being. Sharing laughter with familyand friends brings us closer together. Plus studies have found thatlaughter is good for our physical health. It reduces stress and helps thebody fight illness and disease. For gifted kids who feel like nerds oroutsiders, being funny can help them feel popular and accepted.

NOT-SO-GOOD THINGS: Brains, verbal skills, and a sense of humor canadd up to trouble. Inside every gifted child is a class clown waiting toget out. A child with the power to make others laugh has the potentialto be disruptive. Some gifted kids see humor where others don’t, andtheir laughter seems out of place. Their humor may be too advancedfor other kids their age, and they get frustrated when others don’t “getit.” They may not understand or appreciate the silly or “bathroom”humor of other children.

CHARACTERISTIC:

SENSE OF HUMOR(KEEPS YOU LAUGHING)

Perhaps because they’re bright and curious, energetic and emotional,creative and passionate, many gifted kids also have a sense of humor.A child who does may:

• love to laugh• make up riddles and jokes with double meanings

• understand and enjoy puns and subtle jokes

• “get” jokes that go over the heads of other kids his age

• make up puns• love all kinds of wordplay (silly definitions, rhymes, words that sound alike)

• laugh uproariously at his own jokes and puns

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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ways TO help Your HUMOROUS Child

1. Talk with your child about humor that’s appropriate and humor thatisn’t appropriate. Some things might be funny at home but not funnyat school or the shopping mall.

2. Laugh at your child’s jokes. (Yes, even the puns!)

3. If you subscribe to a daily newspaper, read the comics together. Cutout cartoons your family enjoys and post them on the refrigerator orfamily bulletin board.

4.Go to funny movies, rent funny videos, and watch comedy showstogether on TV.

5. Start a family collection of joke books and cartoon books. Encourageyour child to write his own joke book and add it to the collection.

6. Find funny books and stories to read aloud at bedtime.

7.Once a week (or once a month), have a family dinner where everyonebrings a joke or two to share.

Are there other characteristics of giftedness?

Many or a few, depending on who you talk to or what you read. So far,we’ve looked at nine that are generally accepted as signs that a childmight be gifted:

1. advanced intellectual ability

2. verbal proficiency

3. curiosity

4. creativity

5. high energy

6. focus, passion, intensity

7. logical thinking (and abstract thinking)

8. sensitivity

9. sense of humor

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

In Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom, SusanWinebrenner writes, “I believe that any student who possesses mostor all of the following characteristics is most probably gifted,” thenprovides this intriguing list:

• learns new material faster, and at an earlier age, than age peers• remembers what has been learned forever, making review unnecessary

• is able to deal with concepts that are too complex and abstract for age peers

• has a passionate interest in one or more topics, and would spendall available time learning more about that topic if he could

• does not need to watch the teacher to hear what is being said; can operate on multiple brain channels simultaneously and process more than one task at a time

Susan also suggests that gifted students willidentify themselves if given learning opportunitiesthey appreciate. When that happens in our schools,we won’t need lists of characteristics anymore.

If you’ve read this far, you have an excellentidea of what sets gifted kids apart. Most of all, youhave your own intuition or “gut feeling” that yourchild is special.

According to the U.S. Office of Gifted and Talented, these are thecharacteristics of the “typical gifted preschooler” ages 2–5:

• uses advanced vocabulary for age • uses spontaneous verbal elaboration with new experiences• has the ability to make interesting or unusual shapes or patternsthrough various media: blocks, play dough, crayons

• has the ability to assemble puzzles designed for older children• uses a sense of humor in general conversation• understands abstract concepts such as death and time• masters new skills with little repetition• demonstrates advanced physical skills• demonstrates advanced reasoning skills through explanation of occurrences

The California Association for the Gifted has this to say:

“Some children are able to concentrate for long periods of time at avery young age or demonstrate their gifts and talents by using a largevocabulary, constant questioning, creativity, and/or exceptional abil-ity in a particular subject area. Differences commonly found betweenmost gifted learners and their age peers are advanced comprehen-sion, faster pace of learning and a need for school work that providesactivities which are both complex and fast paced.”

9998 From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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WaRning siGns

You’ll want to stand up and speak out if your child:

• claims to be bored with school or hate school• tries to get out of going to school (is often sick, too tired to go, doesn’t want to go)

• often says he doesn’t like the teacher• says he isn’t learning anything in school• often falls asleep in school• claims he finishes his school work early and “there’s nothing to do”

• is doing too much of the same kind of homework (simple, repetitious “busy work”)

• is “learning” concepts, materials, and information he already knows

• starts having self-esteem problems (self-critical, negative, pessimistic)• shows perfectionistic tendencies or behaviors• brings home lower and lower grades on assignments and tests• starts underachieving in school; mentally “drops out”• brings home reports that he’s “not working up to his potential”• starts perceiving himself as a failure• doesn’t get into the gifted program (if that’s where he belongs), or gets dropped from the gifted program (if that’s where he’s been)

Advocating for your gifted childMaybe your child will have the best possible school experience—classes that meet his learning needs, teachers who challenge him, andopportunities to pursue his interests, thrive, and succeed.

Or maybe not. Unfortunately, most schools are geared for averagelearners, not gifted learners. Children are placed in programs thatmatch their weaknesses, not their strengths. Chances are you’ll haveto go to bat for your child—if not now, then at some point during hisschooling.

“As a parent, you’re part of the single largest power-wielding groupin the school system, more powerful than teachers or administrators.”—SALLY YAHNKE WALKER

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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The BasiCs

Gather as much information as you can. Ask your child aboutschool. What happens during a typical day? What does he like aboutschool? What doesn’t he like? What would make school better for him?Get copies of your child’s school records. Ask other parents about theirexperiences and their children’s experiences. Learn as much as youcan about gifted education in your district and state. Are there lawsthat affect and protect gifted children?

Decide what you want the school to do. Does your child need morechallenge? More stimulation? More chances to follow his own inter-ests? More meaningful homework and less busy work? What do youwant the school to do differently? Findout what options are available so youdon’t ask for the impossible. Talkwith other parents.

Keep in mind that schools arebureaucracies and that peopleoften guard their turf. Don’t gostraight to the principal. This mayput the teacher on the defensive.Talk with the teacher first.

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Avoid the most common mistakes parents make. These include beingconfrontive, being impatient, and assuming that teachers, principals,and administrators don’t care. This is rarely the case. Also, it helps toremember that no matter how brilliant your child may be, the adultsin charge of teaching him still know more than he does.

Ten Tips FOR Talking TO TeaChers

1.Make an appointment to meet and talk.

2. If you know other parents who feel the way you do, consider meet-ing with the teacher as a group. There’s strength in numbers.

3. Think through what you want to say ahead of time. Write downyour questions or concerns. Make a list of the items you want tocover. You might want to copy your list for the teacher so both ofyou can look at it during the meeting.

4. Choose your words carefully. Avoid negative, blaming language.

5.Don’t expect the teacher to do all of the work or come up with allof the answers. Be prepared to make suggestions and offer solutions.

6. Be diplomatic, tactful, and respectful. Remember that the purpose ofyour meeting is conversation, not confrontation.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Five POsiTive ACTions YOu Can Take

1.Get involved in supporting gifted education. Without parent sup-port, gifted programs wouldn’t exist.

2.Offer to help at your child’s school. If you can, volunteer in yourchild’s classroom. Then you’ll see firsthand what school is like forhim.

3.When a teacher makes a special effort to help your child, show yourappreciation. Call and say thanks, or send a note or an email.

4. Join (or start) a parent group. In a group, one voice becomes many,and many voices are hard to ignore. You’ll also benefit from con-necting with parents who know the system and how it works.

5.Attend all parent-teacher meetings.

7. Focus on what your child needs, not on what you think the teacher is doing wrong.

8. Don’t forget to listen. Be open to what the teacher has to say.

9. Bring your sense of humor.

10. If your meeting isn’t the success you hoped it would be, move upa level and try talking to the principal or gifted coordinator. Followsteps 1–9 again. Keep moving up until you get some answers andresults.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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Taking care of yourself“My teacher said we shouldn’t be too proud that we’re smart—thatwe got our brains from our parents. But in the newsletter for par-ents of gifted kids, it says it’s very difficult to take care of a giftedchild. So why do parents make us smart if it just makes their jobtougher?” —GIRL, 8

It’s estimated that there are between 2–3 million gifted children in theUnited States alone. Worldwide, gifted kids comprise maybe 5 percentof the population.

So you’re not alone. Take comfort in that—and take care of yourself,because you’re going to need your strength, wits, and wisdom in themonths and years ahead as you do the tough work of raising a gifted child.

But even if your child is the most profoundly gifted person in thehistory of the world, parenting is only part of who you are. Somemoms and dads literally live for their gifted kids. There’s more to life!Love your child. Do your best to meet his needs at home. Spend timetogether. Try your best to get him an education that’s stimulating, re-warding, and satisfying. Be there for him. And make time for yourself.

Regularly set aside a half-hour or an hour just for you. Read a bookor magazine. Take a walk. Call a friend. Take a nap or a bubble bath.When you take care of yourself, you teach your child to do the same.

YOUR RIGHTS AS THE PARENT OF A GIFTED CHILD

• You have the right to know if your child’s school has a gifted program. (Even if they call it by another name.)

• You have the right to know if your child is in a gifted program or class.

• You have the right to know how children are identified for thegifted program. (Tests? Observation? Assessment? A combination?)

• You have the right to know when children are tested for the giftedprogram and what tests are given.

• You have the right to know your child’s test results and what theymean. (If the results are confusing or hard to interpret, ask for help.)

• You have the right to know what kind of training teachers in the gifted program receive. (Also, how are teachers selected for the program?)

• You have the right to know if the gifted program at your child’sschool is working. Ask how the program is evaluated. Ask to seethe results of the latest evaluation.

• You have the right to ask questions and get answers.• You have the right to visit your child’s school and the gifted program.

• You have the right to be a “pushy” parent—if being “pushy” meansexercising your rights and advocating for your child.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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Resources for Parents and Teachers

BOOKS

Alvino, James. Parents’ Guide to Raising a Gifted Child (New York: BallantineBooks, 1996). A practical guide to raising and educating gifted children.

Clark, Barbara C. Growing Up Gifted: Developing the Potential of Children atHome and at School (New York: Prentice Hall, 2001). One of the most inter-esting, information-packed introductions available to the characteristics ofgifted and talented children.

Galbraith, Judy. The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide for Ages 10 & Under(Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 1999). A classic introduction to growing upgifted, revised and updated. Written to and for gifted kids, but parents andteachers can read it, too.

U.S. Department of Education, Office of Educational Research andImprovement. National Excellence: The Case for Developing America’s Talent(Washington, DC: 1993). A conclusive, easy-to-understand report on giftedchildren’s educational needs. Call toll-free 1-877-4-ED-PUBS (1-877-433-7827)to request a copy. Or find it on the Web (www.ed.gov).

Rimm, Sylvia. Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child (Hauppauge, NY: BarronsEducational Series, 2001). How to work with schools, manage problems, andadvocate for your child.

Start a new hobby or go back to one you’ve neglected. Maintainyour friendships with other adults. Ask for help when you need it. Lookfor humor where you can find it—studies have shown that healthy fam-ilies laugh a lot. And never forget that parenting a gifted child has itsown rewards, and they’re priceless. In the words of one parent:

“One of the best parts of life with a gifted 2-year-old has beenhearing her day-to-day observations—ones that make us stop ourbusy lives for a moment to see the world from her point of view.Noticing a metal clothesline pole, she says in excitement, ‘It’s abig letter T!’ Holding up half an apple slice, she comments, ‘Itlooks like a sailboat.’ This winter, while we were sitting in a traf-fic jam on the highway, she remarked, ‘Mom, look at the buttertrees over there.’ I looked, and across the sea of cars, the wintertree branches were covered with a layer of fresh snow.”

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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Winebrenner, Susan. Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom: Strategiesand Techniques Every Teacher Can Use to Meet the Academic Needs of the Giftedand Talented, revised edition (Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 2000). Readthis book to discover many ways to meet the learning needs of gifted studentsin the mixed-abilities classroom.

Winner, Ellen. Gifted Children: Myths and Realities (New York: Basic Books,1997). A psychology professor examines the latest scientific evidence aboutthe biological basis of giftedness, as well as the role parents and schools playin fostering exceptional abilities.

ORGANIZATIONS

The Council for Exceptional Children (CEC)1110 North Glebe Road, Suite 300 • Arlington, VA 222011-888-CEC-SPED (1-888-232-7733) • www.cec.sped.orgCEC is the largest international professional organization dedicated to improv-ing educational outcomes for individuals with exceptionalities, students withdisabilities, and/or the gifted. CEC advocates for appropriate governmentalpolicies, sets professional standards, provides continual professional develop-ment, advocates for newly and historically underserved individuals withexceptionalities, and helps professionals obtain conditions and resources nec-essary for effective professional practice.

Saunders, Jacqulyn, and Pamela Espeland. Bringing Out the Best: A Guide forParents of Young Gifted Children (Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 1991).Hundreds of ways to promote creativity and intellectual development—without pushing.

Smutny, Joan Franklin, Kathleen Veenker, and Stephen Veenker. Your GiftedChild: How to Recognize and Develop the Special Talents in Your Child fromBirth to Age Seven (New York: Ballantine Books, 1991). Helps parents and edu-cators understand the characteristics and needs of young gifted children.

Smutny, Joan Franklin, Sally Yahnke Walker, and Elizabeth A. Meckstroth.Teaching Young Gifted Children in the Regular Classroom: Identifying,Nurturing, and Challenging Ages 4–9 (Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing,1997). Written for educators (and parents) who believe that all childrendeserve the best education we can give them.

Walker, Sally Yahnke. The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids: How toUnderstand, Live With, and Stick Up for Your Gifted Child (Minneapolis: FreeSpirit Publishing, 2002). What giftedness means, how kids are identified asgifted, how to advocate for your child at school, and more.

Webb, James T., Elizabeth A. Meckstroth, and Stephanie S. Tolan. Guiding theGifted Child: A Practical Source for Parents and Teachers (Scottsdale, AZ:Gifted Psychology Press, 1989; updated 1995). A classic, packed with parent-ing techniques and information to help you help your gifted child.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

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WEB SITES

American Association for Gifted Children at Duke Universitywww.aagc.orgThe oldest gifted advocacy organization in the nation, it publishes educa-tional materials for researchers, parents, and educators. The site providesinformation to parents of gifted children to assist them in raising their excep-tional children.

CEC Information Center on Disabilities and Gifted Educationericec.orgSearch databases, subscribe to discussion groups, find links to other onlineresources, read fact sheets and FAQs, and more at this site full of informationabout gifted education and dual exceptionalities.

The Gifted Child Societywww.gifted.orgThis nonprofit organization provides educational enrichment and support serv-ices for gifted children, assistance to parents, and training for educators. Since1957, the Society has served over 50,000 children and their families. In 1975,the U.S. Department of Education named it a national demonstration model.

Gifted Childrenwww.gifted-children.comGifted Children Monthly, a multi-award-winning newsletter “for the parents ofchildren of great promise,” has ceased publication—and returned as Gifted-Children.com, a networking and information site.

National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC)1707 L Street, NW, Suite 550 • Washington, DC 20036(202) 785-4268 • www.nagc.orgA national advocacy group of parents, educators, and affiliate groups unitedin support of gifted education. Join to receive the quarterly magazine Parentingfor High Potential, discounts on selected NAGC publications, and more. NAGChas affiliates in every state.

The National Mentoring Partnership1600 Duke Street, Suite 300 • Alexandria, VA 22314(703) 224-2200 • www.mentoring.orgA resource for mentors and mentoring initiatives across the United States.Visit the Web site to learn more about mentorship. The site also lists manylocal and national organizations that connect mentors with kids and kids withmentors.

Supporting Emotional Needs of the GiftedPO Box 6074 • Scottsdale, AZ 85261(773) 907-8092 • www.sengifted.orgSENG was formed to bring attention to the unique social and emotional needsof gifted children, which are often misunderstood or ignored. It providedadults with guidance, information, resources, and a forum to communicateabout raising and educating these children. SENG promotes environmentswhere gifted individuals can develop positive self-esteem, thrive, and utilizetheir talents.

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TAG: Families of the Gifted and Talentedwww.tagfam.orgAn Internet-based support community for talented and gifted individuals andtheir families. Read the articles and join one or more of the mailing lists.

World Council for Gifted and Talented Childrenwww.worldgifted.caA global networking organization with an active membership of educators,scholars, researchers, parents, educational institutions, and others interestedin giftedness. The site provides links, resources, articles, and more on gifted-ness and helping gifted children.

GT Worldwww.gtworld.orgAn online support community for parents of gifted and talented children. Lookfor articles, links, testing information, definitions, three mailing lists, and an areawhere members can talk to each other in real time.

Hoagies’ Gifted Education Pagewww.hoagiesgifted.orgMuch more than a “page,” this is a wide and respected variety of resourcesfor parents and educators of gifted youth, from research to everyday successstories, personal support groups, and links.

Jon’s Homeschool Resource Pagewww.midnightbeach.com/hsOne of the oldest, largest, and most popular homeschooling sites on the Web.Start by reading the homeschooling handbooks and answers to FrequentlyAsked Questions, contact a support group in your area, and subscribe to themailing list.

State Resources for Gifted Educationericec.org/fact/stateres.htmlA list of State Department of Education offices responsible for gifted educationand statewide advocacy groups, with contact information and links (whereavailable). Advocacy groups offer members a variety of services including par-ent support groups.

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

AAbstract thinking, 78Achievement tests, 30ADD/ADHD, 55Advocatingbasic steps for, 102–103knowing when to speak out, 101necessity of, 100taking positive actions, 105with teachers, 103–104

Anrig, Gregory, 87Armstrong, Thomas, 62Asynchronous development, 49–51

BBliss, Edwin, 71Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, 59–60Bray, James, 11Brightness vs. giftedness, 22

CCreativity, highchallenges of, 45good things about, 45helping children with, 45–46signs of, 43–44

Creativity tests, 30Criticism, avoiding, 72Curiosity, insatiablechallenges of, 25

1 17

good things about, 25helping children with, 26–27signs of, 24–25

DDavis, Gary A., 31

EEmotional development,

and giftedness, 49–51Energy, highchallenges of, 54good things about, 54helping children with, 55signs of, 53and sleep, 56

FFocus, strongchallenges of, 66good things about, 65helping children with, 66–67signs of, 64–65

Friends, making, 79–80

GGardner, Howard, 57–62Gifted children, identifyingadvice for parents, 36–37children easily missed, 32–33

INDEX

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

PParentsas identifiers of giftedness, 2, 31rights of, 106taking care of yourself, 107–108

Passion. See Focus, strongPauling, Linus, 25Perfectionismhelping children with, 70–72problems created by, 68–69

Peterson, Jean, 30Physical development, and giftedness,

49–51Powell, Philip, 47Put-downs, avoiding, 72

QQuestions, endless. See Curiosity, insatiable

RRights, parental, 106Rimm, Sylvia, 31Roedell, W.C., 80Roeper, Annemarie, 86

SSelf-esteemdefinition of, 90–91in preteen girls, 91ways of building, 92

Sense of humor, strongchallenges of, 95good things about, 95

1 191 18

developing systems for, 34in the early years, 35using multiple methods, 28ways of, 2, 29–31

Giftednessaccepting the differences, 20–21as an elitist term, 11characteristics of, 97–99federal definition of, 10nurturing, 14origins of, 14other terms for, 12–13and physical/emotional development, 49–51

and sleep, 56telling children about, 47–48vs. brightness, 22See also Creativity, high; Curiosity,insatiable; Energy, high; Focus, strong; Intellectual ability, advanced; Logical thinking, strong; Sense of humor, strong; Sensitivity, high; Verbal proficiency, advanced

Gifted programsdiffering laws on, 36elimination of, 36keeping your child in, 31names for, 47necessity of, 38terms commonly used in, 39–41

Grades, high, 9, 30

HHumor, sense of. See Sense of humor,

strong

IIntellectual ability, advancedchallenges of, 8and getting high grades, 9good things about, 7helping children with, 8–9signs of, 6–7

Intelligences, multiple, 57–62Intensity. See Focus, strongInterpersonal intelligence, 60Intrapersonal intelligence, 60–61IQ tests, 29, 48

KKauffman, Draper, 48

LLabeling, 47–48Linguistic intelligence, 57Logical-mathematical intelligence, 58Logical thinking, strongchallenges of, 75–76good things about, 75helping children with, 76–77signs of, 74–75

MMeckstroth, Elizabeth A., 35Musical intelligence, 57–58

NNaturalistic intelligence, 61

helping children with, 96signs of, 94–95

Sensitivity, highchallenges of, 84dealing with teasing, 87–89good things about, 84helping children with, 85–86signs of, 82–83

Sleep, 56Smartness. See Intellectual ability,

advancedSmutny, Joan Franklin, 35

TTalkativeness. Verbal proficiency,

advancedTeachers, 31, 103–104Teasing, dealing with, 87–89Tolan, Stephanie, 21, 50

VVerbal proficiency, advancedchallenges of, 18good things about, 18helping children with, 18–19signs of, 16–17

Visual-spatial intelligence, 59

WWalker, Sally Yahnke, 35, 100Winebrenner, Susan, 99Winner, Ellen, 39

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

120

About the Author and IllustratorJudy Galbraith, M.A., has a master’s degree in guidance and coun-seling of the gifted. She has worked with and taught gifted childrenand teens, their parents, and their teachers for over 20 years. In 1983,she started Free Spirit Publishing, which specializes in Self-Help forKids® and Self-Help for Teens® books and other learning materials.

Judy is the author of The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide: For Ages 10& Under. She is also the coauthor of The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide:A Teen Handbook and When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers,with Jim Delisle, Ph.D., and What Kids Need to Succeed: Proven,Practical Ways to Raise Good Kids and What Teens Need to Succeed:Proven, Practical Ways to Shape Your Own Future, with Peter L.Benson, Ph.D., and Pamela Espeland.

Ken Vinton, M.A., is the author/illustrator of Alphabetic Antics andWrite from the Edge and has illustrated several other books. He teachesart to 7th–9th graders in Pennsylvania and works with gifted studentsin the area of creativity. He also teaches art education at IndianaUniversity of Pennsylvania. Ken and his wife are the parents of twogifted grown-ups, a son and a daughter.

Other Great Books from Free SpiritThe Gifted Kids’ Survival GuideFor Ages 10 & UnderRevised & Updated 3rd Editionby Judy Galbraith, M.A.Based on 1,000 new surveys of gifted kids, this book will continue tohelp countless bright, talented children know they’re not “weird” oralone in the world. It answers questions about what giftedness is(and isn’t) and much more. For ages 10 & under. 104 pp.; softcover; illust.; 6" x 9"

When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the AnswersHow to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needsby Jim Delisle, Ph.D., and Judy Galbraith, M.A.

Gifted kids are much more than test scores and grades. Topicsinclude self-image and self-esteem, perfectionism, multipotential,depression, feeling of “differentness,” and stress. Includes first-person stories easy-to-use strategies, survey results, activities,reproducibles, and up-to-date research and resources. For teachers,gifted coordinators, and other adults working with gifted kids(including parents). 288 pp.; softcover; B&W photos; 71⁄4" x 91⁄4"

For pricing information, to place an order, or to request a free catalog, contact:

Free Spirit Publishing Inc.217 Fifth Avenue North • Suite 200 • Minneapolis, MN 55401-1299toll-free 800.735.7323 • local 612.338.2068 • fax 612.337.5050

[email protected] • www.freespirit.com

From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Sideby Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc.,

Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

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From You Know Your Child Is Gifted When . . . A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side by Judy Galbraith, M.A., copyright ©2000.Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

JUDY GALBRAITH, M.A.AUTHOR OF THE GIFTED KIDS’ SURVIVAL GUIDES

ILLUSTRATED BY KEN VINTON, M.A.

YOU KNOW

YOUR CHiLD IS

GiFTED WHEN...

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

YOU KNOW

YOUR CHiLD IS GiFT

ED WHEN

...GA

LBRAITH

“What does it mean to be gifted? Is it about being smart? Creative? Talented? Or what?”If you’ve ever asked these questions, this book is for you. Humorous cartoons blendwith solid information on giftedness—its characteristics, challenges, and joys. First-person stories from parents who have been there offer reassurance and insights. As yousmile at the illustrations and anecdotes, you’ll discover what sets gifted kids apart andhow you can support your child’s unique abilities. You’ll strengthen your parentingskills and get answers to other questions you’ve wondered about—like “Are gifted kidsreally that different?” “How are kids selected for gifted programs?” and “How can I helpmy child make the most of his or her abilities?” And you’ll sigh with relief as you learnways to help your young gifted child—and yourself.

JUDY GALBRAITH, M.A., is the founder and president of Free Spirit Publishing and author of The GiftedKids’ Survival Guides. She has worked with and taught gifted children and teens, their parents, andtheir teachers for over 20 years. KEN VINTON, M.A., is the author and illustrator of Alphabet Antics andWrite from the Edge. He teaches art to 7th–9th graders and creativity to gifted students. He also teachesart education at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Ken and his wife are the parents of two giftedgrown-ups.

PARENTING/GIFTED

YOU KNOW YOUR CHiLD IS GiFTED WHEN...

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO LIFE ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

9

781575 420769

5

ISBN-13 978-1-57542-076-9ISBN-10 1-57542-076-7