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WORKSHOP ON FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING BRUCE BONNETT

I. Introduction “Surveys about our fears commonly show fear of public speaking at the top of the list. Our fear of standing up in front of a group and talking is so great that we fear it more than death, in surveys at least, it seems odd that we’re so afraid – what are we afraid of, anyway? What do we think will happen to us? We’re unlikely to suffer any real or lasting harm. The answer seems to lie in our remote past, in our evolution as social animals, early humans were probably commonly hunted by a wealth of large predators. One common defense is to live in groups. In a group, other group members can alert each other to predators and help to fight them off, early humans survived by their wits and their ability to collaborate. Failure to be a part of the social group, getting kicked out, probably spelled doom for early humans. Anything that threatens our status in our social group, like the threat of ostracism, feels like a very great risk to us. The fear is not just about public speaking but is also faced my many others who are faced with getting in front of a crowd and performing like athletes, actors, and musicians.”1

“Fear of public speaking is very common; approximately 25 percent of people report experiencing it, even a mild form can have devastating effects. Fear of public speaking can prevent you from taking risks to share your ideas, to speak about your work, and to present your solutions to problems that affect many people – and as a result, it can affect how much you grow personally and professionally, and how much impact you can have. At the same time, any negative public speaking experiences will make it less likely that you will speak in public in the future – fear teaches you to protect yourself from risky situations.

1 “The Thing We Fear More Than Death – Why predators are responsible for our fear of public speaking”, Nov 29, 2012, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-real-story-risk/201211/the-thing-we-fear-more-death

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There are many reasons why people become afraid when having to speak in public, theories have identified four contributing factors:

1. Physiology

Fear and anxiety involve the arousal of the autonomic nervous system in response to a potentially threatening stimulus. When confronted with a threat, our bodies prepare for battle. This hyperarousal leads to the emotional experience of fear, and it interferes with our ability to perform comfortably in front of audiences.

[Bruce’s Note: Stress leads to “fight or flight” mode, which leads to heart rate increase, starting to sweat, forgetting what you were going to say, etc.]

2. Thoughts

The fear often arises when people overestimate the stakes of communicating their ideas in front of others, viewing the speaking event as a potential threat to their credibility, image.

3. Situations

There are certain situations that are likely to make most of us more anxious when presenting in a public forum. Lack of experience. Degree of evaluation. When there is a real or imagined evaluation component to the situation, the fear is stronger. If you are speaking in front of a group of people who have the evaluation forms ready to fill out, you may feel more anxious. Status difference. If you are about to speak in front of people of higher status (e.g., people at your workplace in higher positions, or groups of accomplished professionals in your line of work), you may feel a higher dose of fear tingling through your body. New ideas. If you are sharing ideas that you have not yet shared in public, you may worry more about how people will receive them. New audiences, if you are standing in front of an audience that is very different from the people you usually speak to, your confidence may be a little shaky.”2

“It's important to note that a fear of public speaking isn't limited to making speeches in front of a crowd. [A person] may withdraw from a number of social situations, such as asking for directions, attending job interviews and speaking to shop assistants.”3

“Fear of public speaking cuts wages by 10%. A fear of public speaking can have a significant impact on your career given that those who have it make about 10% less,

2 “Why Are We Scared of Public Speaking? Understanding the roots of this common fear can help us conquer it faster”, Nov 27, 2017, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201711/why-are-we-scared-public-speaking 3 https://www.psycom.net/glossophobia-fear-of-public-speaking

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on average, than those who don’t. And that makes sense when you consider just how pervasive presentations are.

Fear of public speaking inhibits promotion to management by 15%. In addition to lowering your potential wages, a fear of public speaking also makes it more difficult to be promoted to a management position.”4

II. Glossophobia “Glossophobia is the technical term given to a severe fear of public speaking. People who suffer from glossophobia tend to freeze in front of any audience, even a couple of people. They find their mouth dries up, their voice is weak, and their body starts shaking. They may even sweat, go red and feel their heart thumping rapidly. If you suffer from glossophobia you shy away from any opportunity to speak in public. Your symptoms are usually so severe you get terribly embarrassed and fearful of any public speaking.”5

III. Do You Need a Psych Referral? “It is important to point out that not all individuals with a fear of public speaking have social anxiety disorder or another psychiatric disorder. For a diagnosis of a psychiatric disorder, clear functional impairment is generally required.”6

“Fear and/or nervousness when speaking in public is a normal and highly prevalent phenomenon. People with glossophobia have much more pronounced anxiety responses and a much more intense fear of public speaking activity. This fact means that in most cases they are not able to develop this type of activity. The main features of phobic fear regarding glossophobia are:

Excessive – The fear experienced by a person with glossophobia towards public speaking activity is excessive compared to the real demands of the situation.

Irrational – The typical fear of glossophobia is characterized by being irrational. The person with this alteration is aware that his fear is disproportionate and incongruent.

Uncontrollable – Although the person with glossophobia is aware that there is no point in raising such a high fear of public speaking, there is nothing he can do to control it.

Permanent – The fear of speaking in public of glossophobia is invariably experienced whenever the person has to perform these activities. It is relatively

4 https://www.ethos3.com/2018/03/5-shocking-public-speaking-statistics/ 5 http://www.glossophobia.com 6 https://www.psycom.net/glossophobia-fear-of-public-speaking

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independent of the context and the characteristics of the situation. In shyness, on the other hand, the fear of public speaking can become more intense in specific situations and can vary over time.

Leads to Avoidance – In order to be able to speak about glossophobia it is necessary for the person to systematically avoid carrying out public speaking activities. In shyness instead, despite experiencing anxiety or discomfort, the individual is usually exposed to these situations when necessary.”7

IV. How Hypnotherapy Can Help “Deep in our subconscious – that huge repository of memories, beliefs, and desires – we’ve developed strong opinions of how we feel about public speaking and our confidence in our public speaking abilities. The challenge is untangling these thoughts, and filling our minds with new, more helpful information.

That’s where hypnosis comes in.

In a state of hypnosis, our minds become much more receptive to new information. We listen to suggestion and we file them away in the subconscious – they’re much more likely to stick. As such, hypnosis and hypnotherapy are popular tools for helping people overcome their fear of public speaking, because it empowers them to remove those automatic thoughts.

If we can tame negative thinking patterns, we gain focus in the moment and reduce pressure on ourselves. If we reduce some of the natural fight or flight fear, we gain confidence when speaking and eliminate those biological reactions – i.e. shaky voice, sweating hands – that can through us off our game. And if we can empower the mind to expect success, we prevent the fear from self-perpetuating.

You might have had a negative public speaking experience in grade school – and next thing you know – you struggling as an adult to speak at a school board meeting.

The reason: You mind learned early about that negative experience. Then, through repetition and self-perpetuating thinking, you began to believe that you weren’t a great public speaker.

In other words, it’s such a challenge because it requires unwinding and removing years of reinforcement.

That’s why hypnotherapy is so effect for public speaking fears.

During a hypnosis session, you will be guided to a highly relaxed, yet highly aware, state of mind. This trance-like state unlocks a special area of the brain – the subconscious. You can bypass your critical mind – the mind that analyzes all 7 https://www.lifepersona.com/glosofobia-characteristics-diagnosis-and-treatment

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information that you hear – and work directly on the part of the mind that holds all the unhealthy information that’s holding your public speaking fear in place.

An important study conducted in 1997 examined how people who had severe fears of public speaking would respond to hypnosis. The study examined two groups: One partaking in traditional behavioral therapy and another group that used behavioral therapy and hypnosis in tandem.

The study found that hypnosis helped to improve expected and perceived levels of anxiety during public speaking. Ultimately, the researchers concluded that hypnosis was effective because it helped to moderate the expectancy. People didn’t expect failure and misery as strongly, and their performance improved because of this.8

V. Technique that can be Used in Hypnotherapy: Desensitization

A. Example

“See yourself practicing your speech in front of the mirror. Wait until you are calm and confident, then go on to the next level of the hierarchy.

See yourself presenting the speech in front of friends or family, wait until you are calm and confident then go to the most fearful level of the hierarchy.

See yourself arriving at the building with your notes in hand; walking to the podium; looking out at the audience of dozens of people who have come to hear a self-possessed, bright and engaging person speak. – let the fear peak, then relax yourself.”9

8 https://gshypnosis.com/hypnosis-for-public-speaking-is-hypnotherapy-a-solution/ 9 http://www.eligiblemagazine.com/2016/08/26/speak-speak-expose-overcoming-fear-public-speaking/

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B. Video Demonstrations – Desensitization (Not Specific to Public Speaking)

AHA Members can watch demonstrations on video:

Circle Therapy American Hypnosis Association Live Hypnotherapy Sessions Hypnotherapy Live – Marc Gravelle/Kristine – Fear of Flying – 1 of 3 https://hypnosis.edu/aha/videos/393 (Especially from time 34:05 to 39:25)

Desensitization American Hypnosis Association Live Hypnotherapy Sessions Hypnotherapy Live – Lisa Machenberg/Diane – Driving Anxiety Presented by: Lisa Machenberg https://hypnosis.edu/aha/videos/263 (Especially from time 53:00 to 103:30)

C. Case Study – Desensitization for Public Speaking Fear

“Case Study: Fear of Public Speaking

30-YEAR-OLD BUSINESS SCHOOL STUDENT BRING ANXIETY TO THE STAGE WHEN HE GIVES PUBLIC SPEECHES.

Presenting Problem

David’s goal in working with hypnosis was simple: Be relaxed before public speaking

Method of Treatment

In order to move forward with helping David move past his fear of public speaking, it was necessary to ask David how he wanted to feel before and after his talk. In our sessions we worked directly with large group talks rather than small group discussions or class work. David outlined the following:

Goals: Feel relaxed before public speaking, and to be ready for “startup weekend” which is a large conference where entrepreneurs come together to discuss their ideas. David would be going there to pitch his idea as well.

In a perfect situation David’s days and moments before his talk would go as follows:

Prepare to the best of his ability before the talk.

Wake up the morning of the talk feeling prepared that he had studied, rehearsed, and was confident in the information he would be providing.

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Feel refreshed from a good night sleep.

Get excited about the knowledge he would be bestowing on the group of people he was presenting to.

Having arrived at the talk, he could get on stage and “own it” (being in total control with a plethora of information).

David and I also did some word associations with the term “anxious.” When David was asked to state five synonyms for the word anxious, he stated the following:

• Nervous • Hesitant • Lack of confidence • Scared • Tepid

All of the above feelings, goals, and perfect execution would be addressed through one session of systematic desensitization while in hypnosis.

The key to success for replacing a feeling of anxiety or nervousness is to get in touch with the counterbalancing feeling of relaxation while in hypnosis. Since relaxation and anxiety cannot coexist, it was important for David to feel the state of deep relaxation so that when he felt anxious, he would be able to replace it with a feeling of relaxation. David’s visualization of relaxation was the beach. Once he had focused in on all the sense of what the beach provided when thinking about relaxation, we were able to move forward with our systematic desensitization of public speaking.

Still in hypnosis, David was asked to bring up the positive feelings associated with the information he would be presenting to his group during a public speech. He was asked to get in touch with his knowing he was smart, prepared, able to produce any information on the spot because he studied hard, was a bank of information, and he was well practiced. Once in touch with his preparedness, David was asked to visualize step by step the process of waking the morning of the talk, feeling prepared, excited, and relaxed. While watching David his body was extremely calm until moments before getting onto the stage in his visualization. His hands became to fidget, thus indicating that he was having an abreaction dealing with his reaching for a goal that seemed relatively unobtainable at the moment. David was asked to take a deep breath and move past that feeling of anxiety and replace it with a feeling of deep relaxation. The key to David’s success for overcoming his fear of public speaking was to allow his subconscious to know that he was providing the audience with very important information. This became a driving force behind his visualizations and later in his actual public speaking.

Having desensitized David to the anxiety around public speaking, we also conducted a series of leaving those feelings in the past. That his fears had once served a

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purposed, but no longer were needed to continue forward with him on his path. Since David had a strong ability to visualize, he was asked to walk through the door of his subconscious to see this fear in the corner of the room. He was able to destroy this unwanted characteristic leaving him with only a small souvenir he could bring with him as a reminder of his overcoming his fear.

Outcome

David did go to the startup week conference and was able to deliver his speech without any anxiety or fears. He was able to bring up his feelings of relaxation and increase his excitement about all the information he would be “bestowing” to the crowd of people.10

D. Chart Reviewing Desensitization and Circle Therapy

10 http://thetaspring.com/case-studies/2015/4/7/case-study-fear-of-public-speaking

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DESENSITIZATION (Fear – known original cause) or (Phobia – unknown/unrelated cause)

Original Real Situation (when negative feeling originally occurred)

Fear Stimuli (what causes panic now)

Can be unrelated to original trigger

(get phone call that your mother died

while driving on freeway – fear of freeway)

Fear Response/Emotion (too much or too little sugar at

breakfast—bad feeling – while at

airport – fear of flying)

Original trigger may be forgotten,

unknown, repressed, etc.

STEPS Do not try to bring up the anxiety; if anxiety comes up, immediately move away from it.

Tell client that 2 opposite feelings cannot co-exist at same time.

Visualize/Imagine yourself in same situation – but feeling calm, relaxed this time. Hypnosis = safe place.

Can ask client to let left finger rise once relaxed; teach relaxation in hypnosis.

In hypnosis, give suggestion that uncomfortable symptom will disappear.

A non-verbal signal is set up so that the hypnotherapist will know if the client is becoming too distressed by what he/she is picturing.

In hypnosis, imagine feeling comfortable in the previously uncomfortable situation.

In hypnosis, expose to anxiety producing stimuli in small increments – while remaining calm (or smiling if you use humor instead of relaxation).

Use imagery that is personally relaxing to client (sound of waves, feel of sunshine, etc.).

Use a “distress/anxiety” scale/hierarchy – take clients through steps from least anxiety producing to most anxiety producing.

Eliminates “alien”, “uniqueness” of fear stimuli as exposed more and more.

Can suggest client will go deeper in hypnosis at each step.

Can use “progressive relaxation” of tensing and then relaxing various muscles at each step.

CIRCLE THERAPY (fear only – known original cause)

Original Real Situation

Memory of Real Situation – or similar new situation

Fear Response/Emotion

STEPS Warn client that he/she will be bringing up the anxiety but not to worry because will pass it.

Relive original traumatic incident – in small increments.

Feel anxiety, then let it pass.

Replace anxiety with a smile or positive emotion.

Then, imagine future similar incident while remaining calm, smiling.

Do this until client cannot bring up the anxiety anymore.

Give suggestion that the anxiety is weakening.

From this time forward, the harder you try to feel the anxiety, the more difficult that will be.

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Create “knowns” (like drive to exam site, practice packing what you will take to test…).

Actually experience the real type of incident (such as actually drive on freeway, or fly on an airplane).

If you feel any anxiety, allow right finger to rise; the more anxiety, the higher the right finger rises.

Each and every time you do this, you gain more control over your anxiety.

The harder you try to feel anxious, the more relaxed you become.

Note: if this does not work, perhaps client is incapable of believing he/she can let go of the anxiety – or perhaps some 2ndary gain exists.

VI. Script Bruce Bonnett wrote to improve client’s confidence about public speaking. In your new role, you will rely on your ability to communicate with others. You will be poised, confident and precise in your communications, whether they are to one person or several hundred. It will make no difference to you. You will be at ease making points clearly, successfully and distinctly. People respond warmly to your words, suggestions, ideas.

You are a real professional, knowledgeable and enthusiastic about what you are doing. You enjoy your work. Your appearance points to the fact that you really like yourself, that you are a likeable person, and that you like what you are doing. You’re knowledgeable about what you do because you work hard and take the time to prepare. You are enthusiastic about your work and it shows.

It’s a real joy for you to communicate with people about your work. You feel peace, calm and joy. People are interested in what you have to say for it comes from within and this shows. You concentrate on delivering ideas, more than details. But, when details are called for, you have them at your fingertips. When you speak, you’re relaxed and at ease. And your easy-going mannerisms put others at ease.

When you speak in front of an audience, you get right to the point, using short words and precise phrases wherever possible. There is a noticeable lack of adjectives and adverbs in your speech. You prefer the punching power of verbs to get across your point. Increasingly, you are known for the clarity of your communications. Because you’re concise with your words, they are not open to misinterpretation. Your phrasing is simple and direct. Your communications are vibrant and colorful, and they are alive with interesting and informative ideas. You rely upon facts and reason.

You have acquired the skill of speaking and communicating much like you have acquired other skills – through diligent effort. Everything about you expresses a person of confidence, radiance, hard-work and joy.

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VII. You can look on the Internet for articles and websites that describe “tips” to help people with a fear of public speaking – and use those tips as suggestions during hypnotherapy sessions. For example, Forbes’ website published this article on May 19, 2019: ““Eight Things That Will Take the Stress Out of Public Speaking.”

“If public speaking scares you, you’re in good company. Public speaking is ranked ahead of death in the list of people’s fears. In fact, it’s often listed as the number one fear people face. Its official name is glossophobia and it appears that most of us suffer from it at one time or another. Of course, there’s one way to reduce the stress of public speaking: don't do it.

That sounds like the perfect solution until you consider that you’re limiting your career prospects and dismissing one of the most powerful personal branding activities there is. I had a brilliant client who turned down two different promotions for the sole reason that the roles required public speaking.

So, let’s take that option off the table and look at ways to reduce the pressure and actually make public speaking an enjoyable career booster. Here are eight of my tried-and-true ways to make speaking less stressful, more fruitful, and an actually enjoyable way to build your personal brand.

1. Change your mindset.

When I talk to my clients who are reluctant to get up in front of a crowd and speak, most tell me they worry about being judged and they think that they could seriously tarnish their career. That’s because they put all the focus on themselves. Here’s a mindset reset: Public speaking is less about you and more about the people who will receive your message. When you focus on them – delivering value, informing them, making them more successful, you make your presentation about generosity. That means you’re giving information, value, inspiration to those in the audience. And it’s a lot less stressful to be generous, isn’t it?

2. Know that you are a public speaker.

You don’t have to be on a giant stage in Las Vegas with bright lights staring you in the face and an audience of 1,000 people focused on you to be a public speaker. When you deliver an update at a project meeting, you’re speaking publicly. All the things a public speaker does to deliver that keynote are the same things you do to prepare and present to your team or department or division. You are a public speaker. Own it. Then, you’re more likely to take on larger and larger opportunities to help advance your career.

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3. Pat yourself on the back.

Every time you deliver a team update or deliver a speech, don’t go onto your next activity without pausing to acknowledge yourself for having delivered a presentation. The more you make yourself aware of your success, the more likely you are to start volunteering to put yourself in front of a crowd. For every presentation you deliver, regardless of how big it is, congratulations are in order.

4. Do your homework.

With most work activities, the more prepared you are, the less anxiety you will feel. Know your topic and content, learn about your audience, get comfortable with the venue and the technology. The more prepared you are, the less stress you’ll feel and the better you’ll perform. Check out this previous post, replete with tips for getting ready for speaking.

5. Practice.

What do they do with people who have a fear of flying? They put them on planes. It’s called desensitization. Dictionary.com says desensitization is “a behavior modification technique in which panic or other undesirable emotional response to a given stimulus is reduced or extinguished by repeated exposure to that stimulus.” It’s like most things: the more you do it and experience a positive outcome, the easier and more friction free it becomes.

6. Start small.

If you’re not ready to get on a stage with an audience of 500, start with things like team meetings or delivering “lunch and learns” at your company. Even delivering a webinar (with your video camera on) counts as public speaking. When you’re ready, work up to larger audiences and more formal speaking settings. In no time, you’ll see that you can actually enjoy it.

7. Get help.

Work with a public speaking coach. She will be able to help you improve your skills and feel confident about your delivery. Organizations like Toastmasters are also great for helping you learn, practice, and grow at your own pace. Most major corporations have their own Toastmasters chapters.

8. Zone in on the scary part.

What I have learned from working with many people on their public speaking skills is that there is usually one element of speaking that creates the most angst. If you focus on getting comfortable with that part, the fears will wash away. So think about it. Is it kicking off the presentation? Taking questions? Having so many eyes directed at you? Identify your challenge area and work on that.

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And take some encouragement from me. I used to be extremely uncomfortable with public speaking. I would even dread just introducing myself in a meeting where I didn't know all the participants – practicing what I was going to say as we moved around the conference table. Now, my primary role is that of motivational speaker – with over 70 gigs a year and audiences in the thousands – and I love it! If I could go from abject fear to absolute exuberance, you can too. You've got this! 11

VIII. Examples of Books that Might be Helpful

“Own the Stage: Complete Hypnotherapy Program for Public Speaking, Presentation, and Performance Confidence” by Rick Smith

Note that pages 102 to 136 are scripts/session transcripts.

11 https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamarruda/2019/05/19/eight-things-that-will-take-the-stress-out-of-public-speaking/#246fe09248ea

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“Crushing the Fear of Public Speaking” by Mikael Hugg

Just a few ideas from this book:

• Imagine you have a rock star personality you step into when you publicly speak • Great speakers practice and plan – like actors rehearse • Don’t pretend to offer more than you have—but boldly offer what you do have • Make use of storytelling

IX. Consider “Stage Fright” and “Fear of Public Speaking” from a New Perspective

Actor Jonathan Pryce 12 on Stage Fright as Selfishness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbtPwao8qSQ

12 Pryce has participated in big-budget films including Evita, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Pirates of the Caribbean as well as independent films including Glengarry Glen Ross, The Age of Innocence, Carrington, The New World, and The Wife. His career in theatre has also been prolific, and he has won two Tony Awards—the first in 1977 for his Broadway debut in Comedians, the second for his 1991 role as The Engineer in the musical Miss Saigon. Initially in 2015, Pryce was a guest actor in the HBO series Game of Thrones as the High Sparrow before becoming a main cast member in 2016. Since early 2017, he stars in the series Taboo, playing the role of Sir Stuart Strange. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Pryce

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Summary: The nerves have to do with self-regard – thinking that you are the most important thing in the presentation—when what you should be thinking about are the people listening to you. You should be focusing less on yourself – and more on the communication to your audience. If you have stage fright or fear of public speaking, you are being selfish – thinking more about yourself and not as much as you should about the people who are your audience.

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KEEP PRACTICING!

If Bruce sees you are not using the practice time in this workshop to practice, he will assume you have mastered all of the techniques in this handout. So, do not be surprised if Bruce then calls you up to the front of the class and asks you to demonstrate to the class one of these techniques!!!

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