Week 1, Lesson 1: What is the Human Condition?

The human condition is comprised of our brokenness and our goodness/divine potential. The part of our human condition that is broken is often referred to as the "false self." This false self includes a complex set of reactions, coping mechanisms, and behaviors developed over time in response to life circumstances. It's our human way of responding to the reality we experience. We aren't born with it; it evolves over time and specifically expresses itself in the form of feelings, emotions, body sensations, thoughts, and commentaries.

Thomas Keating further expounds on the human condition like this:

"Without the reassuring experience of God, the world is perceived to be potentially hostile. Since the need for happiness is so fundamental and strong, we invest at a very early age in various substitutes. Our programs for happiness seek in vain to compensate for the absence of the sense of God's presence as the developmental process proceeds. The net result of our efforts to repress emotional pain or to compensate for it is the formation of the false self." — excerpted from Intimacy with God

It needs to be emphasized that the development of the human condition in each one of us is natural, necessary, and good. It builds on our basic core of goodness and includes all the potential of human nature for further development.

You might find it useful to think about the human condition on three levels:

1. What is on a conscious level: This includes our thoughts, commentaries, feelings, emotions, and body sensations.

2. The Divine Indwelling: The Spirit of God within, which animates our existence at every moment. We know this by faith.

3. What is on an unconscious level: This includes the three biological needs of survival, control, and affection (also known as the first three energy centers), which become

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overdeveloped into compensatory behaviors. This level also includes the acquired attitudes of group over-identification and cultural conditioning.

The First Three Energy Centers

I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I want to do. — Romans 7:15

We're all born with at least three fundamental or biological needs:

1. the need for security & survival 2. the need for affection & esteem 3. the need for power & control

These instinctual needs are natural and God given, but because of perceived or real deprivations, they are never fully satisfied to our full liking. These first three energy centers begin at this pre-rational level. The trouble is that when we enter the age of reason (age 14 or 15), we use our rational faculties to justify, glorify, and rationalize our behaviors. This is the false self in action. The false self represses or inappropriately expresses the feelings generated when our energy centers are frustrated. Thomas Keating calls these first three energy centers "our programs for happiness, which can't possibly work."

Week 1, Lesson 2: The Human Condition & Divine Therapy

Welcome to the second lesson in our month-long retreat on Welcoming Prayer.

Our first lession focused on the development and psychology of the human condition — a condition we can probably more easily recognize in our self and others. If you haven't visited the Practice Circle yet, you might take some time to read the posts in both the "Introductions and Intentions" and the "Week 1, Lession 1" threads. The depth of sharing in these posts is revealing in tangible, personal ways how we are all seeing ourselves through the lens of unconscious motivations. The

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beauty of this retreat is how it comes alive by the movement of the Spirit as the online community forms. Already, we are guiding and teaching each other by our willingness to share, ponder, and question. Today's email will continue to explore the opening and healing of the human condition.

The False Self in Action

"The gospel invites us to recognize that the false self is a disease that can be healed and to accept Christ as the divine physician or, in the context of this paradigm, the Divine Therapist. The healing process is primarily the work of contemplative prayer, which along with the homework of daily life, constitutes the Divine Therapy." — Thomas Keating, Intimacy with God

"The false self needs to be dismantled. It is the primary block to the flow of God's grace within." — Thomas Keating, Invitation to Love

As we said in the first email, the "false self in action" consists of our reactions to situations and events in life in which our emotional programs are thwarted. In these events and situations we use our rational faculties to justify, glorify, and rationalize our emotional programs for happiness rooted in the first three energy centers. The false self represses or inappropriately expresses the feelings generated when our energy centers are frustrated.

How does this work? These unconscious programs move into consciousness in the form of attractions and aversions (I like this; I don't like that). They tap into our attachments (e.g., our need to be right; our need to eat at a certain time of day). When these attachments are threatened, it creates a triggering event in our daily life (e.g., people who tell us we are wrong; a situation that delays us), which stimulates frustration manifested as our afflictive emotions (envy, lust, impatience, discouragement). Afflictive emotions are afflictive not because of the particular emotion but because they are not appropriate to the event or situation to which they are a response. For example, someone cuts in front of me in line at the supermarket and I respond with a great rage. These emotions

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arise from the unconscious and trigger the internal dialogue of pre-recorded commentaries. This emotional turmoil begins to affect our body — the "issues are in the tissues." The normal or usual reaction is to push these emotions back down into the unconscious. This undigested energy once again reinforces our programs for happiness.

"Carl Jung said we're about 10% consciousness and 90% unconscious. That means for 10 things you've done so far today, you are fully conscious of your motivation for doing one. The call of Jesus Christ was to change your motivations. . . . What we do in Welcoming is a way to allow the Spirit to purify the unconscious motivations. . . . You cannot read a book; you cannot 'think yourself better' on unconsciousness. It's by definition unavailable to you. What you begin to do is work with what is coming up." — Mary Dwyer in "The Human Condition" video teaching

Divine Therapy Needs Our Consent

The Good News! The indwelling Spirit calls us to wholeness in, with, and through the human condition. All that is required is our consent. The more we consent to the presence and action of the Spirit in our lives through Centering Prayer (or your daily silent prayer practice), the Welcoming Prayer and our other spiritual practices, the purification process is initiated (this is the action of the Spirit), and the Spirit brings into consciousness those unconscious motivations that need to be healed. This "unloading of the unconscious" is consciously experienced in the form of thoughts, commentaries, feelings, emotions and body sensations.

The Welcoming Prayer allows us to "Feel, Welcome and Let Go of" these various forms of unloading as they are activated in daily life. Over time, it allows us to respond in love — instead of react — and to continually turn and return to the indwelling Spirit of God in faith and trust. As repentance, conversion, and transformation occur within, our motivations begin to come into alignment with the Spirit, and then our actions reflect that reality.

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"The Welcoming Prayer practice is a way of 'letting go' into the present moment in the ordinary routines of daily life. [It] is used when your needs for security, affection and control are frustrated or gratified and cause emotional reactions. It is a way of turning everything over to God  . . ." — Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart

Mini-Practices

• As you move through an ordinary day, begin to notice when afflictive emotions are triggered by people or circumstances. Don't try to change anything. Just begin to notice what triggers you and how you respond. Do you detect any patterns?

• Begin to deepen your intention to consent during your Centering Prayer or silent prayer practice.

Week 1, Lesson 3: Frequently Asked Questions

This week's study and reflection on the human condition is preparation for next week's introduction to the Welcoming Prayer itself, which some of you have asked about (Hey, what is this prayer, anyway??). This psycho-spiritual understanding is foundational to the practice of this in-the-moment prayer.

We will use the Friday emails during this retreat to highlight and answer some frequently asked questions.

Q: How can the buildup of our false coping strategies/defenses and patterns be "natural, necessary and good?" I see why they are needed, even necessary for our survival as children. And now we have to let go when they do not serve us well. But I'm not so sure that I'd go so far as to say they were "natural" or "good." These compensatory patterns/behaviors have and continue to cause pain to myself and others — how can that be "good?"

<pA: The question may be rooted in a misunderstanding of the difference between the human condition and the false self. The human condition includes our wholeness (and potential for wholeness) and our brokenness. The false self is a piece of this and is what we are specifically addressing with the Welcoming

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Prayer. We make no comment on God's design of the human condition. In a conversation, Fr. Thomas Keating offered the following clarification:

"The human condition is the way things are, that is, it is movement of life through the evolutionary process into specific human ways of responding to reality. Hence it includes the fundamental goodness and potentials of human nature for further development into higher states of consciousness than rational capacities.

"The false self is all self-possessive activity with the corresponding commentaries. The false self develops initially through the arising of the separate self-sense and the need of the infant to find happiness in the gratification of its instinctual needs for security/affection/control, plus the over-identification with one's group. The development of the false self is an aspect of the human condition, which because it is unaware of where true happiness is to be found, seeks it with varying degrees of intensity in the wrong places."

In his book Invitation to Love Fr. Thomas offers this definition of the false self: "The self developed in our own likeness rather than in the likeness of God; the self-image developed to cope with the emotional trauma of early childhood. It seeks happiness in satisfying the instinctual needs and bases its self-worth on cultural or group identification."

Furthermore, from the same book: "The instinctual needs of power/control, affection/esteem and security are good." Unless these needs are met, a child develops "failure to thrive" syndrome. The emotional programs for happiness are the development of the instinctual needs into centers of motivation around which our thoughts, feelings, and behavior gravitate."

Here's an example that might help illustrate these ideas. Food is good and fulfills our instinctual need for survival and security. If I have an addiction to food, everything in my world revolves around food and motivates my behavior. The compensatory behaviors are part of the false self and are addressed in the Welcoming Prayer, through our consent to God's healing presence and action.

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The Welcoming Prayer is about consenting to God. It is a way of saying, "Not my will but thine be done." And thus we are as faithful as we are able to be in this moment, with all the reality of our incompleteness and brokenness. And to the extent that we are able, we continue to consent without judgment of ourselves, knowing that the commentaries of judgment just set the transformation process back. Self-acceptance without judgment and with compassion is a step toward healing and toward bringing acceptance and love to others. It is a huge step in the spiritual journey and a foundational step. In fact, it is number one on Fr. Keating's list in the first appendix to Open Mind, Open Heart:

"1. Cultivate a basic acceptance of yourself. Have a genuine compassion for yourself, including your past history, failings, limitations, and sins. Expect to make mistakes."

Next week we will focus on the method of the Welcoming Prayer and begin to practice it in the circumstances of our ordinary lives.

Week 2, Lesson 1: The Welcoming Prayer Method

Welcome back to the second full week of our online course. Monday's email will continue to feature the essential teachings and focus for the week. This week's focus will be the method of the Welcoming Prayer itself.

A Method of Prayer

"The divine action, although only visible to the eye of faith, is everywhere, and always present. . . . There is not a moment in which God does not present Himself under the cover of some pain to be endured, of some consolation to be enjoyed, or of some duty to be performed. All that takes place within us, around us, or through us, contains and conceals His divine action." — Jean-Pierre DeCaussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence

The Welcoming Prayer, as a prayer of consent, enables us to consent to God's presence and action in and through the

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experiences of everyday life. It is prayer because of our consent.

Prayer is essentially relationship with God. Our deepening desire to align our will with God's will for us is part of this deepening relationship.

This prayer heals the false self as it manifests in everyday life (our desires, passions, reactions) by consenting to God's presence and action in the moment. The Welcoming Prayer heals the wounds of a lifetime by addressing them where they are stored — in the body. The body is the warehouse of the unconscious; it is the container for the unresolved, repressed emotional material of a lifetime. The Welcoming Prayer complements the movement of the Spirit in Centering Prayer (or your daily silent prayer practice) which facilitates a similar purpose while we rest in silent receptivity.

The Three Movements of the Welcoming Prayer

The three movements of the prayer are: 1. Focus, Feel & Sink Into 2. Welcome 3. Let Go

1. "Focus, feel, and sink into" the feeling, emotion, sensation, thought, and commentary in the body.

Focus is to notice, observe, or pay special attention to a particular feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought, commentary. Feel what is happening in the body.

Sink into — do not resist — the feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought, commentary. We simply experience the energy.

Using your intuitive eye, move gently through the body, scanning. When you become aware of any feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought or commentary, rest (stop) and sink into (experience) it. Be alert to any uneasiness in your body — a sensation of heat or cold, itchiness or tingling, tension or pain.

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All feelings, whether perceived as positive or negative, are welcomed. Feelings may intensify, dissolve or change as we are present to them in the moment. Simply follow their movement.

The body, from the top of the head all the way down to the tip of the toes, is the warehouse of the unconscious. All of our experiences are carried in every cell of our body and imprinted there — the "issues are in the tissues." The first movement of the prayer helps us to access the unconscious through the body, in the moment.

2. "Welcome" is the sacred word, the symbol of our intention for and consent to the presence and action of the Indwelling Spirit, the Divine Therapist.

Welcome is to embrace what we find happening within. Saying the word "welcome" interiorly is the action of embracing the Indwelling Spirit, whom we know by faith is always present, in and through the feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought, or commentary.

Intention is the desire of the will, and consent is the action of the will that manifests the intention.

3. Next, we say the "Letting Go" phrases.

I let go of the desire for security, affection and control.

I let go of the desire to change this feeling/situation.

Attachment is an important concept to explore here. Attachment can be defined as something that fastens one thing to another (clinging), or an attempt to possess and control the perceived source of happiness. Attachments imprison us, like a fly stuck to fly paper. Attachment to the instinctual drives for happiness (security, affection, control) creates compensatory needs, like when we eat or drink when we feel in need of love and affection. We let go in order to open to the will of God in our life. We "let go" and "let God."

"Letting go" means passing through the energy and not around it, not running away or pushing it back into the unconscious through denial or distraction. One does not identify with the

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feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought or commentary, and act it out, but allows it to be transformed by the simple act of sticking with it and experiencing it.

Saying these "letting go" sentences helps to dismantle the emotional programs for happiness that can't work, uprooting the dis-ease in the unconscious. As we "let go," it is not necessary to identify which energy center was triggered, or focus on one or the other of them. It is most important to say all of the "letting go" sentences, even if one has experienced a release of the energy after the first two movements of focus, feel, & sink into and welcoming. There is no need to try to determine which of the three energy centers is the source of what we are experiencing — they are all inextricably connected.

Energy is a force for expression. It desires to express itself somehow. Releasing energy by "letting go" is the healthiest and best way to handle a feeling. Each release undoes a bit of the repressed energy. As time goes by, we become freer and have greater clarity of mind. Purpose and direction become more positive and constructive, resulting in more conscious choices, decisions, and actions.

In addition to letting go of our attachments to the energy center programs, we also let go of our attachment to change anything. The desire for change is the desire to make things different and denies the realities of the present moment, of what is. Letting go, rather than remaining attached to — and imprisoned by — our desire for change, is the path of transformation offered through the prayer. The aphorism "would I rather be right or free?" acutely describes the opportunity offered through letting go.

"It is the most difficult thing for us to let go. We have a mind that tells us that we're always right; everybody else is wrong, but we are right. Then we have emotions and feelings that sort of validate those thoughts. And what we need to do is to let go of whatever is happening on an interior level and surrender so that we can see reality and what is actually happening

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instead of perceiving through our thoughts and feelings." — Mary Mrozowski, creator of the Welcoming Prayer

Week 2, Lesson 2: Practicing the Welcoming Prayer

Since Monday's introduction of the Welcoming Prayer practice, many of you are already experiencing the challenges as well as the fruits of this prayer. Your sharing and support for one another in the Practice Circle is vulnerable, heartfelt, and a witness to how important recording and sharing experiences are to the process. The Practice Circle is the sacred vessel where we are safe and free to explore what is happening and witness to God's presence and action in these personal experiences, questions, struggles, and insights. By posting in the Practice Circle, we also "welcome what is" in the presence of our intentional companions. For those of you who haven't had a chance to visit the Practice Circle yet, please take a few moments to at least read a few of the posts from Monday's lesson. You'll be glad you did.

As we are just beginning this exploration together, please be patient and gentle with your own process of learning and understanding the prayer. Some of you have already been practicing the prayer for some time and others are just learning it. Allow the organic nature of this retreat to unfold, without rushing yourself or others. It takes a while for the prayer to become a practice, for it to knit itself with your intention and become active in you. Keep practicing in faith and trust.

Today's email will review the practice again and give you a new tool to help you practice. Friday's email will again feature some frequently asked questions.

The Welcoming Prayer

Movement One: Focus, Feel and Sink into the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations and commentaries in your body.

Movement Two: Welcome the Divine Indwelling in the feelings, emotions,

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thoughts, sensations or commentaries by saying the word "Welcome."

Movement Three: Let go by saying the following sentences: "I let go of the desire for security, affection, control." "I let go of the desire to change this feeling/sensation."

The Welcoming Prayer: Consent on the Go

"The reason that Centering Prayer is not as effective as it could be is that when you emerge from it into the ordinary routines of daily life, your emotional programs start going off again. Upsetting emotions immediately start to drain the reservoir of interior silence that you had established during the prayer.

"On the other hand, if you work at dismantling the energy centers that cause the upsetting emotions, your efforts will extend the good effects of centering into every aspect of daily life." — Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart

The daily reminder to practice the Welcoming Prayer is our body. By learning to notice what's happening in the body in the moment, we can use this new incarnational awareness as our reminder to practice the prayer. That's why it is so important to practice the scanning exercise given in this Monday's lesson. We're developing a new muscle of consciousness, a new way of becoming aware of our next opportunity to consent to God's presence and actions in the ordinary activity of our lives.

Once we learn to notice, focus and sink into the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations or commentaries, the prayer takes less and less actual time. Eventually, with practice, it can become as quick and easy as breathing in (scan, focus, sink into) and breathing out (welcome, let go).

Week 2, Lesson 3: Frequently Asked Questions

Again we will focus on questions and answers in our Friday email.

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Q: I am struggling with the instructions to let go of my desire for security, affection, and control. In my spiritual journey of the last few years, I have realized how dead I was to my longings and desires. When asked, "What do you long for?" I had no answer. Lately though, I have become conscious of my longings for a Daddy's tender touch and a Mama's welcoming arms, among other things, and I've begun to see them as beautiful. So, I'm resisting being told to let them go. I just found them! In place of the word desire, I am using the word demands.

A: We are not "letting go" of our needs for security, affection, and esteem, but our desires for them. We all needed security, affection, and control in order to thrive as children. As adults, we still need to have all these needs met on a certain level — we all need the security of a place to live, the love of family and friends, and the ability to influence events in our lives.

It is our desire to have these needs met that clouds our perceptions and makes us react instinctively to situations like three-year-old children. Therese Saulnier offers this story and analogy: "I have a three-year-old great-niece. Recently she received a scolding in day care for 'acting out.' One of her playmates wanted the toy that she was playing with. She did not want to give it up and she hit the other child. I am not proud to say it, but I can admit that there are moments when I want to give people in my life an emotional hit; there are times in my life when I am still acting emotionally like a three year old. On some level, I am saying 'my way or no way at all.' On another level, I want to be free from this old stuff. I want to be able to respond in love to life and to those around me. So, when I am aware of discomfort or uneasiness in my body, I do my Welcoming Prayer. I am better able to respond (not react in a knee-jerk fashion) to the situations in my life. I a m open to the healing of the Indwelling Spirit.

"As I open to the healing of the emotional wounds of a lifetime, I am able to feel, name, and claim the desires of my heart. The 'letting go' phrases of the Welcoming Prayer are for the reactive moments of our life. As we are freed up from the emotional junk we have been carrying throughout our lives, we are able to live more freely. I often say that before Centering Prayer and the Welcoming Prayer, I was a 'walking head.' I wanted to analyze everything, figure everything out.

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Unconsciously I used my needs for security, affection, and control to rationalize, justify, and glorify some very inappropriate behavior.

"I remember how I reacted in a job where I was one of the managers of the organization. A group lunch had been planned and I had not been invited. I was important — I should have been invited. It was a simple oversight, but I was not seeing it that way. Because I was reacting as a three year old, I refused to go to the lunch and remained offended for several days. If I had known the Welcoming Prayer, I could have focused on what I was feeling in my body, felt it, sank into it, and done the Welcoming Prayer. I probably would have cheerfully joined the group and had a wonderful lunch. Notice that in this example I did not care at all about what others were feeling, or what the person who had forgotten to invite me felt."

We are not suggesting that you do not get in touch with the inner child, the hurting child. You can do that at other times. We are suggesting that you use the Welcoming Prayer when you are aware that you need to use it. The more that you use it, the more aware you will be that you need to use it.

We also suggest that beginners make a 30-day commitment to learning the words of the Welcoming Prayer. We ask that you scan your body at the same time each day, normally before going to sleep or before rising. Then, use the Welcoming Prayer with any uncomfortableness in your body. This will help you to learn the words of the Welcoming Prayer.

Cherry Haisten adds this: "Many have grown up out of touch with their feelings, longings, and desires. This may have been a defense mechanism and a survival strategy to help us endure the pain of privation. Certainly awakening to our own feelings, desires, and longings can be a part of the healing process to be gratefully accepted as such. It's impossible to let go of what you don't first hold in your hand. But our desires as adults cannot be filled by others 100 percent any more than our needs as infants, toddlers, or adolescents can be.

"Our desires tend to be a part of the vicious circle of the false self. When Evagrius says, 'Thoughts lead to desires, desires lead to passions, passions lead to actions,' he is referring to

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that closed circuit. The false self is like a cage, a trap, a prison, a closed feedback loop. It is a much smaller construct than our true identity, which is of God, a part of the infinite and eternal. As we grow in spiritual maturity, we are freed from this structure that is too small for us, and as author Sebastian Moore says, Jesus liberates our desire. We don't become free from desire so much as free of desire, meaning that we are free to choose the direction our desire looks for satisfaction. That direction is God."

Part of discernment is sorting out true desire from the false desire of the illusory feedback loop. But as some of you have already noticed, much of this is a language issue. When we draw on ancient wisdom, we often need to translate. Some of you have already been doing this. It's not the words we use that matter as much as the real internal consent to God's presence and action in our lives.

As you will notice in the nuances lessons next week, tinkering with the words may be a form of resistance to the prayer. It's up to you to discern whether your tinkering is resistance or translation.

Q: When we practice the Welcoming Prayer, specifically the first part, Focusing, do we always do a complete body scan and stay a while with each sensation and body feeling, gradually moving down through the body? To date I have tended to focus on the main sensation, usually either in my belly area (churning stomach) or in my chest (shallow and restricted breathing). I allow myself to, as it were, sink into the middle of the sensation for a few minutes, or as long as it is feeling very strong and almost overwhelming, and then I say "Welcome."

A: In everyday life we do not need to do a "body scan" — we become aware that we need to do the Welcoming Prayer when we are aware of an uneasiness, an uncomfortableness in our body.

As you continue your journey in learning the Welcoming Prayer, you are invited to scan your body. When you come to either the churning stomach or shallow and restricted breathing, focus, feel and sink into the body sensation. You do not need to wait

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for the sensation to become overwhelming before you say the word "Welcome"; however, do truly feel it first.

Q: What is the disadvantage of naming the feeling being experienced?

A: There are several disadvantages in naming the feeling being experienced: • We tend to intellectualize the experience and not stay with the body sensation/feeling. • We tend to judge what we are experiencing. • We can tend to control the experience.

Because much of the emotional material that is stored in our bodies is from a pre-verbal stage in our life, we may never be able to "name" the feeling. What its name is doesn't matter. Key to the Welcoming Prayer experience is "opening to God's presence and action." It is this simple "turning to God in love" in the experiences of everyday life that begins to break my reactive behavior, heal the wounds of a lifetime, and deepen my relationship with God.

Mary Dwyer adds this: "As I see it the teaching is really about STAYING PRESENT to what is happening NOW versus getting lost in our thoughts about what this means, why it is happening, where is it coming from, etc. In my experience, clarity and patterns definitely do emerge, but almost effortlessly, more as gifts of the practice than my own figuring it out. Remember that we are really dealing with the unconscious, so the thought that we can consciously figure it out often leads us into the illusions of smoke and mirrors, because the false self does not want to be dismantled. It will use everything it has to say, "this is crazy" or "you don't need this stuff", or "let me think about this and I will show you what it means." The biggest gift of Welcoming is its simplicity."

Q: Sometimes the sensation I am sinking into remains just a bodily sensation devoid of (conscious) emotional content. Other times, the conscious memory of a situation, conversation, encounter, etc., pops up with it and I am aware of anxiety, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, or shame connected to the memory. When that happens, where should I focus my "sinking"— into the

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physical sensation, or into the emotion, or into the memory that evokes that emotion?

A: This question is integral to the practice of the Welcoming Prayer. Therese explains: "When practicing the Welcoming Prayer, we work with the sensations in our body. We do not have to figure out the relationship between the body sensations and the events which caused issues to be stored in our tissues."

Q: Since most of my occasions to pray the WP involve my interactions with people, forgiveness comes to mind. How does forgiveness intertwine with the WP?

A: The interplay between WP and forgiveness is a wonderful insight. Welcoming is "on the spot" but as we review our day we may see we carry some of the residual emotions in the form of resentments or hurts. This prayer practice deepens our willingness to forgive. In the safety of personal space (wherever that may be for you) we can pray the Forgiveness Prayer (or whatever forgiveness practice you use) that evening or next morning. For most of us, the "never ending round of ordinary activities" does not allow us the space to forgive "on the spot."

Q: I really don't enjoy being more aware of my anxious feelings. Over and over I am so aware of the continual tightness in my chest. Does this mean I have tons and tons of unloading to do from the unconscious? What do you do when it feels like too much to bear? I suppose I am still to welcome it. I find myself quite disappointed when the feeling doesn't go away after welcoming it. I find myself feeling defeated.

A: Thomas Keating says that as our awareness increases it is as if we are in a room and the lights are turned up/intensified. The place is crawling with critters! They were there before, but we were not aware of them, now we are! And this is an enormous gift. As our awareness increases we are able to respond in love by turning to the Divine Indwelling and saying "HELP!" As scripture says, everything hidden will be revealed, and that in darkness will be brought to the light. This is where RADICAL, INVINCIBLE TRUST is needed!

Q: Do the energy centers relate to chakras?

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A: The first three chakras are the physical chakras and these correspond to the energy centers. • The first chakra, at the base of the spine, is the chakra that corresponds to the energy center of security/survival. • The second chakra, located from the lower abdomen to the navel area, is the chakra that corresponds to the energy center of affection/esteem. • The third chakra, at the solar plexus, is the chakra that corresponds to the energy center of power/control.

Q: The Welcoming Prayer was named "prayer" in Rev. Dr. Cynthia Bourgeault's book Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening by the editors. Cynthia wanted it to be called "Welcoming Practice" and feels now it was a disservice to rename it prayer because she feels that it is a spiritual practice rather than a prayer. That would be an interesting nuance to discuss . . . prayer vs. spiritual practice.

A: Yes and yes! Welcoming is a prayer because of our intention to consent to the presence and action of God in the sensations and emotions we experience. It is a practice because of the daily discipline of remembering to apply the prayer moment-to-moment.

Q: When is the best time to do the Welcoming Prayer, in the heat of the moment or later when things have calmed down?

A: The Welcoming Prayer is for the "heat of the moment" if you can remember to use it then. As often said during the course, it is "consent on the go." Even if you can't remember in a heated moment, there are sure to be feelings and sensations afterwards, so do the prayer as soon as you remember to and can scan for sensations in the body.

Week 3, Lesson 1: Nuances & Practice

In Week Two, we were introduced to the method of the Welcoming Prayer and started to practice it. Many of us experienced just how difficult it is to keep our attention in the moment, in our bodies. When we were able to scan and focus, we might have been surprised at what we found (e.g., "Wow, my jaw is tight!"). The rest of the week, we practiced the three movements of the prayer, summarized as:

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1. Focus, Feel & Sink Into 2. "Welcome" 3. Let Go

This week we will continue to practice, practice, practice, and to learn some nuances of the prayer.

Nuances and Clarifications of the Practice

In the context and experience of your own practice of the Welcoming Prayer, slowly and reflectively read each of the points below. What speaks to you? Where are you now? What's happening in your body?

• It is important to be aware of how emotions manifest in the body. This looks and feels different for each one of us. For some, fear might be expressed by holding the breath. Anger might be expressed as flashes of heat. Resistance might be expressed as numbness or coldness. The Welcoming Prayer helps us understand how our own body manifests reactions and emotions.

• Repression is a defense mechanism which prevents the unconscious material from coming to consciousness. This practice welcomes the unconscious material as it arises during the ordinary events of daily life.

• Because pain is a common experience, it can be an occasion to pray with it through the Welcoming prayer practice. Pain and suffering are not the same. Pain is what is; suffering results from attachment or aversion to what is. The Welcoming Prayer addresses both and transforms our attitude about what is happening. We welcome God's healing presence and action into our attachments and aversions.

• Attachments and aversions occur at both the conscious and unconscious levels. Both are "un-freedoms." Through ongoing practice of the prayer, the energy bound in attachments and aversions is transformed and freed. We may experience this freedom as a "pause," a space, or as an expansiveness, which allows new possibilities to arise.

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• Practice with small upsets in the beginning. Respond to each situation as it arises. Once we learn to notice, focus, feel and sink into what we are experiencing in our bodies, the prayer takes less and less actual time. As we said last week, eventually, it can become as quick and easy as breathing in (scan, focus, feel, sink into) and breathing out (welcome, let go). When the practice becomes a habit, it is then accessible to us.

• We are not fixing anything — ourselves, others, or situations. There is no success or failure; there are just feelings. Thoughts and emotions have nothing to do with being good/bad or right/wrong — unless we identify with them. Our intention is not to fix, but to consent to the Spirit's presence and action in the feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations, or commentaries, i.e. to whatever we are experiencing in the moment, especially in the body.

• The practice of the prayer is not about judgments, expectations, getting rid of anything, or magic. It's not about our doing or our efforts. Our only effort is to consent during the three movements of the prayer.

• Letting Go allows us to appropriately respond under the guidance of the Spirit to what is happening, instead of automatically reacting or repressing what we are experiencing. Under the false self system we have two choices: to inappropriately express or to repress what we experience. Welcoming allows the Divine Indwelling to motivate our action or confirm our inaction.

• We are welcoming what we are experiencing in the moment and cooperating with the Divine Therapist, knowing the Spirit is always present and active in all that happens.

We will continue to present and ponder more nuances of the practice in the next lesson.

Week 3, Lesson 2: Nuances & Practice

As we continue to practice this prayer, this is good reminder for all of us:

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"There is not always a direct cause/effect action in the prayer. But that doesn't mean something isn't happening. The prayer . . . is a prayer of pure faith. So at times, we may not realize that anything at all has happened. But in reality, something is happening on a very deep level. The prayer is working on the unconscious . . .

"Success in the prayer is doing the prayer and consenting to God's presence and action in our lives, moment by moment. . . . Welcoming is an open-armed greeting that becomes an embrace of love and compassion." — Cherry Haisten, in the "Nuances and Practice" video teaching

More Nuances and Clarifications of the Practice

In the context and experience of your own practice of the Welcoming Prayer, slowly and reflectively read each of the points below. What speaks to you?

• Welcoming is a prayer because of our intention and consent to the presence and action of God in all the events of our lives. It is a practice because of the daily discipline of remembering to apply the prayer to our moment-to-moment lives.

• This is not a mechanism for changing other people. The more you practice this transformational prayer, the more the atmosphere around you changes. In this atmosphere, others may feel invited or motivated to change, on their own, according to God's plan for them, not yours.

• With intention and consent, there are always changes taking place within us, however small and even hidden these changes might be. In faith, we know the Holy Spirit transforms us, inside out, in God's time. On the exterior, we may only notice a change by how we relate to what we are experiencing. Everyone and everything may remain the same; our attitude may be what has changed.

• Liberation is freedom from the attachment to pre-conceived ideas and pre-packaged values, which show up as the assumptions and expectations we unconsciously bring into each relationship and situation.

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• Some people feel resistance coming up as they practice the prayer, especially in welcoming intense feelings or sensations or in saying the Letting Go sentences. Resistance is a defense mechanism that can sabotage the practice. Forgetting the phrases, wanting to "improve" on the prayer, or denying the need for the practice of the prayer may be signs of resistance.

"A feeling of resistance is natural and normal. You can work with the feeling of resistance and see where that is in the body. Secondly, greet the feeling with compassion — it is part of who we are as human beings. Welcome it! Thirdly, act as if! The development of faith often entails 'acting as if' when we really don't know and parts of us are responding in all kinds of ways that are obstacles and interfering with our growth. 'Acting as if' means I'm not there yet, but I'm practicing. We call it practice for a reason. We don't deny or reject the voices of resistance, but we can put them into perspective and let them be what they are without magnifying them. We can go ahead with what we believe [in letting go], with what we know by faith is part of God's transformation of us on a very deep level." — Cherry Haisten in the "Nuances and Practice" video teaching

• We do not analyze which energy center we are letting go of; we simply say the Letting Go statements. Intellectualizing draws us out of the practice.

• Some people may think that this prayer leads them to inactivity. Because the prayer interrupts our habitual ways of reacting, we may temporarily be stumped about what to "do" next. That pause provides a healthy opportunity to discern what action we are called to take rather than jumping into inappropriate and sometimes potentially damaging action. In reality, the Welcoming Prayer is inviting us to deeper engagement, beyond our habitual reactions. With the Prayer of St. Francis, we can intend to be vehicles of God's grace: "Make me a channel of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow your love . . ." As you practice this prayer, a new way of responding, rather than reacting, is evolving in you. Be patient, alert, and receptive.

• If you feel stuck in obsessive thinking, remember that "no thought is worth thinking about." This phrase can be repeated

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continuously whenever one gets into obsessive thinking, or the mind feels frenetic and locked in repetitive cycles.

Week 4, Lesson 1: Fruits of the Welcoming Prayer Practice

This is the last week of content and community practice for this online retreat. This week's lesson focuses on the fruits of the practice — which many of you are already experiencing — and how to move this practice more deeply into daily life.

"There is no practice like the Welcoming Prayer for challenging 'do I believe that the Divine Indwelling is present? And loves me?' "

"Surrender is one piece [of the practice]. But it's really about radical and invincible trust — that the Yes we are saying is heard and received and we're being loved to life . . . It's walking in trust that the Divine Indwelling is present and living in every cell of your being, and loving you to life. It's this gift you are opening to — and it's already there." — Mary Dwyer, in the Fruits of the Practice video session

As many of you have realized by now, the Welcoming Prayer is a deceptively simple practice. Simple — and powerful. We don't try to fix, improve, try harder, or change anything. We simply focus, feel, sink into, welcome God's presence and action — and let go. This is the "how" of our transformation. With daily practice, gradual transformation happens and attitudes begin to change. We cannot transform the feeling, emotion, body sensation, thought or commentary on our own power. Instead, we turn everything over to God. This is our prayer for help. It is a prayer to be free, but in God's own time and in God's own way, not ours.

• This prayer practice fundamentally changes our attitudes. A change in attitudes affects a change in behavior, which affects a change of consciousness.

• Attitudes are transformed into serenity . . . because no matter what happens, God is present. Our attitudes organically bloom into the Beatitudes.

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• Behaviors become courageous, because we learn to speak and act in and through love. "The Spirit in us serves the Spirit in the other." (Thomas Keating) The source of our actions is now the Divine Indwelling, instead of the programs of the false self.

• Consciousness manifests as wisdom, where we can live "ordinary lives with extraordinary love." (Thomas Keating). We grow into Christ consciousness. We begin to live the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

The fruits are sometimes so hidden that they may be noticed and appreciated by others first. Likewise, as you welcome your own feelings and sensations, you may begin to notice changes in others. As our patterns of relating change, our relationships grow and mature. Remember the two points made in last week's lesson:

• This is not a mechanism for changing other people. The more you practice this transformational prayer, the more the atmosphere around you changes. In this atmosphere, others may feel invited or motivated to change, on their own, according to God's plan for them, not yours.

• With intention and consent, there are always changes taking place within us, however small and even hidden these changes might be. In faith, we know the Holy Spirit transforms us, inside out, in God's time. On the exterior, we may only notice a change by how we relate to what we are experiencing. Everyone and everything may remain the same; our attitude may be what has changed.

Practicing the Welcoming Prayer invites us to live and experience the present moment. Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now asks the question "How do I know that I am in the present moment?" The answer is "being at ease." Likewise, DeCaussade in Abandonment to Divine Providence says, "The realization that God is active in all that happens at every moment is that deepest knowledge that we can have in this life of the things of

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God. . . . it is peace, joy, love and feeling of being at ease with God [in every happening]."

Undoubtedly, the strongest witness to the fruits of the Welcoming Prayer can be found right now in the community sharing in our Practice Circle. Check it out.

Week 4, Lesson 2: Ways of Extending the Welcoming Prayer Practice into Daily Life

Today's lesson provides some guidance for continuing and deepening this simple practice in your life.

• Practice, practice, practice. Fidelity to the practice in little things prepares us for application of the practice in the bigger things.

• Thomas Keating, in Open Mind Open Heart, says "the ordinary events of daily life become our practice." This cannot be emphasized too much. The Welcoming Prayer and our silent prayer practices transform daily life and its never-ending round of ordinary activities. These practices invite us to engage in life more deeply and authentically. As we consent and move into life, we are at the same time moving deeper into the reality of God.

"God is with me in the moment. That is where I need to be; welcoming what I'm feeling and opening my heart to whatever God might do in that moment. . . . God is loving me into being what God breathed me forth to be. To accept that is a huge step on the spiritual journey." — Cherry Haisten in the Fruits of the Practice video session

• Practice body checks in the morning and/or evening for 30 - 60 days as a way to check in and bring forth the prayer practice. This mini-practice helps make the prayer your own, so that when you're in the midst of a difficult conversation, for example, you can do the prayer in 15 seconds — in one breath.

• Place notes around your house and office to remind you to practice. Move them around to keep these reminders fresh and useful.

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• Engage in a review at the end of the day to see how you used the practice. Observe without judgment or criticism. If you find there are events from the day that still trigger something within you, practice the prayer.

• Centering Prayer (or another silent prayer practice), the Active Prayer (an ancient Christian practice of repeating a phrase — usually from Scripture — over and over throughout the day, e.g., "Lord have mercy," "Oh God make haste to help me," etc.), and the practice of Welcoming all engage our consent to the presence and action of God in our lives. Centering Prayer is the passive/receptive letting go; Welcoming Prayer is the active/receptive "consent on the go"; and the Active Prayer is used when we are in a clear space to remain in the presence of God. These practices foster the same disposition of total surrender to God

"Do the Welcoming Prayer, no matter what, in any situation, because God is with us in that situation. The transformation happens in the moment that we can bring our own love and compassion to what is happening. That is the little moment of the crucifixion and resurrection. That's the cross. When we can be present in the moment, in our feelings, whatever they are, no matter how much we would prefer not to be feeling . . . if we can bring compassion to that, then that's the moment of transformation and that's what the Welcoming Prayer is all about." — Cherry Haisten in the Fruits of the Practice video session

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Week 4, Lesson 3: Last Questions . . . and Final Details

The 750+ points of light that you are have combined to create a cosmos within a cosmos — a global body incarnating intention and consciousness within a world of fragmentation, division, and strife. Witnessing your surrender, struggles, and trust in the process has been truly moving and heartening — a tangible reality of God's presence and action here and now, within us and among us. Through your consent, the mystical body of Christ — the field of God's love on this earth — has manifested, grown, and strengthened. You are all healing (whether you can feel it or not); the atmosphere around each one of you is changing; and hence, the world is changing. This is a powerful witness to the truth that "all things are possible with God." (Mark 10:27).

And, as many of you have noted in the Practice Circle, it feels like we just got started. How did four weeks pass so quickly?! Nevertheless, it is good to intentionally mark the end and close with some concrete reminders, which you'll find at the end of this email under "Practices." Likewise, it's good to intentionally mark beginnings, which in this case is each of you carrying the "light, life and love of Christ" (cf. Thomas Keating) into your lives through the daily practice of the Welcoming Prayer. You'll also find suggestions for the next phase of your journey at the end of this email.

A closing prayer:

United by our radical, invincible trust in the ever-present love and mercy of God, may we go forth from this retreat in fearless freedom, incarnating and radiating the love of God in each of

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the moments of each of our lives through the daily practice of this simple prayer. AMEN!

In deep gratitude,

Your retreat leaders: Pamela Begeman, Mary Dwyer, Cherry Haisten, Therese Saulnier, Mary Ann Brussat

More Q&A

Q: It seems to me that not infrequently with the body scan I get a warm glow of gratitude sensation for being. And a comforting tingling feeling SOME BENEVOLENT ENERGY is in charge. All will be well. All will be well. I feel very ordinary and suspect many other ordinary people have the same sensation. I've not seen this being addressed by our leadership nor have I read about it in any of the many articles or books on Welcoming Prayer over the years. Am I missing the obvious?

A: Indeed, All shall be well. (Julian of Norwich). The body is an amazing warehouse of energy, and as we allow ourselves to feel, the energies are released and free to circulate naturally. It is important to remember emotions are just 'energy in motion' (Michael Brown from The Presence Process). The deep sense of 'benevolent energy' you reference is the deepest part of you recognizing the Divine present and experiencing the 'being loved into life.' And remember — it is there whether we have this felt sensation or not.

Q: Is Welcoming Prayer a substitute for other approaches to inner healing? Other approaches like stress journaling, for instance, so one can discover what truly lies at the root of one's problems and can then bring that to the Lord in prayer . . . Does welcoming prayer replace techniques such as these or complement them?

A: The Welcoming Prayer can complement other practices, just as other practices are a complement to the Welcoming practice. Mary Dwyer comments, "As I journey along, different practices seem to come forth when the time is right (or I am ready)."

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Q: I am oddly aware that panic and tenseness is a familiar scenario in the corner of my mind, but is not engaging. In fact, it seems to be in a far corner of my mind and my daily activity is fairly free of it. When the tension begins to creep in (normally by shoulders tense), the WP helps to let go of most of it (but not entirely); it recedes to the corner. It is enough that I am moving about with a calm and sense of peace. Question: 1) Is this the Observer mentioned in Centering Prayer? 2) Is this the effects of Welcoming Prayer? or 3) is this psychological avoidance of the panic/tension? Or, does it really matter that I label it? Do I just go with the flow and appreciate the grace?

A1: You are detached from your normal sense of panic and tension. The person who has this type of detachment could be considered an observer. In your case, there does not seem to be any need to assign a role, such as observer. Simply accept the fact that you are able to use the Welcoming Prayer with what you are feeling in your body (tense shoulders) and the panic and tension do not grow.

A2: Yes, this detachment is a fruit of the Welcoming Prayer. We do not use the word "effect" because that might seem to indicate that there is a cause and effect relationship between the use of the Welcoming Prayer and what happens. For example, you may use the Welcoming Prayer with your tense shoulders in another situation and what happens may be completely different. When we use the term "fruit", we are indicating that what is happening is the result of the work of the Holy Spirit (reference the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23).

A3: This is not the psychological avoidance of pain/tension — it is detachment. This detachment is liberation from the way you always reacted to these familiar scenarios. It is a healing of the emotional programs for happiness (security, affection and control) which made you act as you always did.

Your last statement is a great insight. You do not need to label what is happening — so often labeling what is happening initiates a process of overanalyzing situations, events and people. Just go with the flow and appreciate the grace.

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Q: Is there a belief here that there is to be healing — that is, a time when we will be healed?

A: Yes, there is a belief that there will be a healing. Normally we do not experience the healing as it is happening. So, do not expect any bolts of thunder from above which will re-wire your consciousness. Normally the healing is gradual and takes several forms:

• The cessation of habitual, instinctual ways of reacting to situations, events and people. For instance, if I have habitually honked my horn at the person in front of me in traffic who did not respond quickly enough to the green light, I may no longer do so. [A change in my reaction]

• The change in my need to have my emotional programs for happiness (security, affection, and control) met in every situation and event. For example, I no longer need to be the center of any group that I am in. [A change in my needs]

• The healing of the source of my emotional programs for happiness in my unconsciousness. [A healing of the unconscious]

Q: If everything that comes through us is of Spirit, does this also apply to the times when I succumb to actions of meanness, irritability, etc.? I get those are especially good times of doing the WP — however, am I welcoming Spirit as manifest in my unkind actions or am I welcoming Spirit in the compassion and healing that comes thru the WP?

A: The image that comes to mind is that of the ocean . . . that the Divine Indwelling is always present and sustaining, but on the surface it may get pretty rough. The Welcoming Prayer is a way to show up to the moment with some grounding or more depth, instead of just the chaos of being tossed about by the waves. Remember, we don't link cause/effect in the WP, i.e., if I am mean, 'God made me do it.' What the Welcoming Prayer does is allow God's grace to penetrate whatever the circumstance may be. Cherry's eloquent sharing in the week 4 video vividly demonstrated this.

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Q: The WP helps me stay in the present moment, and helps heal new/old/very old emotional wounds. But what if I don't feel God in doing this prayer? I simply have to trust that my intent is known?

A: There is an aphorism: "Bidden or unbidden God is present." We might modify that a bit: "Felt or not felt, God is present." In American culture at least, we tend to deny the body and glorify our feelings and emotions. Fr. Keating, deeply rooted in longstanding Christian tradition, teaches us that the spiritual journey has little to do with our feelings and emotions, even though to us they may seem central. The WP helps us work with our feelings, particularly physical ones, so that we may be healed and get ourselves out of the center of our lives and consent to God's presence there instead. Fr. Keating has said that consenting to God's presence IS God's presence. That's something to ponder! Fr. Keating has also said that intention is everything. Surely God knows the intentions of our hearts and that must count for a lot, as Merton mentions in his prayer about going out into the unknown.

Q: "We are not fixing anything; thoughts and emotions are neither right nor wrong unless we identify with them." Can you give an example of what this means?

A: Identifying with our thoughts and emotions means that we think that we are our thoughts and emotions and do not realize that we are more than them. An example is anger and how we perceive it. If I say "I am angry," I am identifying with the emotion of anger — anger is temporarily my persona. If I say "I am feeling angry," I am not identifying with the emotion of anger — anger is part of my persona. In the case of identifying with anger, the emotion has a powerful hold on me; in the second case, its power is much less.

The Welcoming Prayer is not about "fixing" because it is a prayer of consenting to God's presence and action. It is opening to God's healing in God's way, in God's time. Sometimes I do the Welcoming Prayer and the sensation in my body intensifies. I accept this intensification because I am consenting to God's presence and action. If God wants the sensation in my body to intensify, I consent to that.

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At times, if I consider "fixing" things in my life, I am focused on changing the situation I am in or changing another person, e.g., "Everything would be OK with the current situation or the upsetting person was 'fixed.' " That is not really the case. One of the invitations of the Welcoming Prayer is to accept things as they are with a nonjudgmental attitude. Situations and people in life are neither "good" or "bad" — they simply are.

Thinking that I am "fixing" things and/or people keeps me in control. In the Welcoming Prayer, the Divine Indwelling is in control.

Q: At the end of the video for Week 3, Session 1, a member of the audience asked something like, "What if the feeling is more of an emotion than a bodily sensation? Like when someone pushes our buttons." The speaker talked about becoming more aware of the bodily sensation. Should I not welcome the frustration or anger? Just the clinched jaw or tense shoulder? I'm confused about this "nuance."

A: If you can use the Welcoming Prayer with the clinched jaw or tense shoulder, this is the preferred method because you are working with the energy of your unconscious programs where it is stored. Therefore, you are opening to healing the source of your unconscious motivation. Working with the body sensation also minimizes our tendency to intellectualize or analyze what we are experiencing. If you can not locate a body sensation, you may work with the emotion, which may then open you up to sensations in your body at a later time.

Q: When we're doing the WP, are we supposed to not even be thinking of a particular situation that is troubling us? If I only focus on my physical sensations (which may or may not be caused by emotions or situations), I am not applying the "letting go" to my desires over any particular situation. Is that right? Is just consenting to God's presence in the conscious physical sensation supposed to be what heals us unconsciously in our spiritual life? My left brain wants to consciously think of each situation and let go of my desire for control in that situation, not just in my bodily sensations.

A: When we are doing the Welcoming Prayer, we are working with the physical sensations in our bodies. That is where the

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energy from the frustrated emotional programs for happiness is stored. This stored energy prompts us to react to people/situations/events instead of responding to them. We are not applying the letting go phrases to the situation. With the letting go phrases, we are working with the physical sensation in our body. It is consenting to God's presence which heals the wounds of a lifetime in my body.

Q: In a course I had many years ago on the Desert Fathers I ran into the concept of "doing what you are doing." This idea stated that if you were setting the table you just concentrated on setting the table or driving or whatever the task was. It kept you in the present. How would WP interact with doing what you are doing?

A: One of the fruits of the Welcoming Prayer is liberation from the false self. The false self persuades us to live in guilt for the events of the past or in anxiety for the events of the future. When we are no longer as dominated by the false self as we have been for so much of our lives, we are able to live in the present moment — 0where God is. So, you simply set the table, address the envelope, pay the bill. As you are "doing what you are doing," if you experience any uneasiness in your body, use the Welcoming Prayer. Also, be aware of your thoughts. When your thoughts are off, they are a signal to scan your body.

Therese Saulnier offers this example: "I once had a very long wait in a doctor's office. I am a salaried employee, so I don't really know how much I make per hour. During that extended wait in the doctor's office, I started calculating my hourly rate of pay by dividing my annual salary by 52 weeks per year and then dividing that number by 40 (the number of hours I work each week). I wanted to send the doctor a bill for the time I had spent waiting. Once I was aware of this thought, I told myself that I was thinking crazy thoughts. I scanned my body and started to do the Welcoming Prayer with the sensation I felt in my abdomen."

Q: Sometimes when I do a body scan I notice psychological sensations that involve the body but no "objectively measured" physical sensations. I may feel heaviness in my head if I have been dealing with a lot of heavy decisions. I may feel as if words are pushing against my lips to get out, when I am

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tempted to speak when it is better to be quiet. Do I sink into these sensations?

A: Work with what you are experiencing in your body, no matter what it is. Work with what you can get to. You don't need to quantify what you are experiencing on some objective scale of "this is worth noticing" or "this is not worth noticing." You don't need to categorize it as psychological or physical sensation. Rather focus on what you feel in your body. Work with any little sensation for the purpose of internalizing the prayer and getting used to noticing. Allow yourself to FEEL anything you notice in your body — SUBJECTIVELY. Don't think about it. FEEL IT! If you feel heaviness in your head, sink into that without any commentary about what or why. If you feel some sensation behind your lips, sink into that without going into analysis of whether it has something to do with speaking or not speaking. See if you can forget the rest, the explanations, the head stuff, for a little while and just work with noticing physical sensations and sinking into them. After you've worked with that a while, begin to add the other movements.

Q: I have struggled with both Centering Prayer and later enlisted Welcoming Prayer as the aid to help mature CP. I travel for a living and often work seven days a week. I have ongoing trouble quieting myself and then with WP, initiating it at the moment it would be most helpful. It is frustrating. I am going onto my 4th year for CP and my 3rd year for WP. Are there any suggestions besides blindfolds and ear plugs out there?

A: You are not alone in fitting Centering Prayer and Welcoming Prayer into a busy schedule. Many people who have very busy schedules are more aware of how much they need God than are people who have more relaxed schedules.

Therese comments: "One of the lessons I have learned from years of Centering Prayer and from Contemplative Outreach teachers is that effort is not helpful or effective in the spiritual journey. What is necessary is surrender. I work full-time as a web developer for a major corporation. I have people making requests or demanding solutions/deliverables every day. I survive and perhaps thrive because I access God who lives deep within me.

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"I suggest that you surrender to God's will. How do you do that? I would suggest a simple prayer: "Lord, I surrender my will to you." You will probably experience less of a need to quiet yourself. Please be open during your periods of Centering Prayer to have a flood of thoughts. One of the fruits of the prayer is the unloading of these thoughts which have been warehoused in our bodies for a lifetime. Please do not feel frustrated. Let God work God's work in you."

Q: I have been dealing with the Serenity Prayer for some 50 years. For 40 of those years I have been sober. To me there is contradiction between the Serenity Prayer and the "letting go of the desire to change this feeling." I am in a current situation that I feel it necessary that some change be made within a group to which I belong. If I surrender my feelings or have no desire to change the situation how does this better the group? I might feel better for a while, but will I later realize that I lacked the courage to change what I could?

A: Mary responds: "The best way I can sum up the paradox of 'letting go of the desire to change' is Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane, 'not my will, but thine be done.' Do we want change — absolutely! I wouldn't be investing the time and energy if I didn't want change. The question Welcoming asks is: am I willing to let my higher power decide what change is needed? Did Jesus 'want' to die? I don't think so. Was he 'willing' to die? Yes. This is what letting go of the desire to change leads me to — the difference between willing and wanting."

Q: This past week I am experiencing huge waves upon waves of devastating grief and bottomless sadness. I know that this is rooted in my childhood, and do not feel the necessity of receiving therapy for it. But still it comes and keeps coming. I have been using WP and find that this opens up a whole new way of interacting with it. In essence I can be present to the sensations and feelings while also sensing the Indwelling Presence nearby. I believe that when the time is right it will dissipate, maybe only to return now and again. But for now it is almost constant. My question is this: do I need to keep going through each step of the WP process each time another wave arrives? Sometimes I have only worked through the process

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and another wave comes crashing down. And all this while life is happening!!

A: You do not need to start the Welcoming Prayer all over when you begin to feel another wave come. You simply continue the Welcoming Prayer, changing your "focus, feel and sink" to the new wave. For example, if you feel a new wave come when you are saying the first "letting go" phrase, you continue with that phrase and then with the second "letting go" phrase. When you return to the first movement of the Welcoming Prayer, the "focus, feel and sink" is with the new wave.

How wonderful that you are doing the Welcoming Prayer regularly, almost continuously. You are consenting to the Divine Indwelling and emotions that you have repressed are coming up from your unconscious. While this may seem like an endless stream of sensations and feelings, it will gradually subside because the unconscious is being healed. You are also doing the Welcoming Prayer while life happens — this is the purpose of the prayer — to "consent on the go."

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