VERBAL JUDO: Redirecting behavior with words Lesson 11: The 5 Steps to Persuasion In this week’s Verbal Judo lesson, we learned … How to set the stage for success. We discussed the art of positive presentation and called it the Meet and Greet. Most of the time, this will accomplish your mission. But in situations where there’s conflict, you might need a technique to take you one step further. It’s called the Five Step, and it will help you determine if – and when – you need to take action. The Five Step goes like this: Ask, Tell Them Why, Give Options, Confirm Noncompliance and Act. We’ve covered the first two steps today. (Next week we’ll learn the last three parts of the Five Step.) ASK … If you want someone to do what you want them to do, is it better to ask them or tell them? No one likes being told what to do! So if you want a bully to stop tormenting you, ask them to stop. (Hint: You will need to do this in a calm manner. Remember your Anger Guard and Mushin!) TELL THEM WHY … They need to know what’s in it for them. You need to find the most compelling reason for them to do what you’re asking them to do. Let’s say someone is pushing you repeatedly in the school hallway. Of course, you want them to stop! Here’s what to do: “Can you not push me?” you say in a calm, emotionless voice. “You can’t push people in school, and the last thing I want to do is get you in trouble.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Verbal Judo Car Talk for Lesson 11

FAMILY CHALLENGE: There’s a better way! Take a look at these situations and use your Verbal Judo skills to REALLY get things solved. (Be sure to pay attention to both WHAT you say and HOW you say it!) 1. INSTEAD OF telling the bully … “Quit pushing me!” YOU SAY ____________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ 2. INSTEAD OF telling your sister … “Stop calling me ugly!” YOU SAY ________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ Now EXPLAIN what you did. Be sure to use these terms!

Mushin * Anger Guard * Word Blocks * LEAPS * Meet and Greet

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