Transactional Analysis

1

Managing People

Transactional Analysis

C Jalasayanan

2

What is T.A.?

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...

• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED• A LEADERSHIP STYLE• A TRAINING TOOL• AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT,

AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

• AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

3

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK & AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS. ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR “NORMAL

PEOPLE”

BUILT-IN HUMOR

4

TEXTS ON TA

• DR ERIC BERNE– Psychotherapy– ‘TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN

PSYCHOTHERAPY’ EVERGREEN 1961– ‘GAMES PEOPLE PLAY’ PENGUIN 1964

• DR THOMAS HARRIS– DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL T.A.

ASSOCIATION– ‘I’M OK – YOU’RE OK’ PAN 1973

• ‘STAYING OK’ - PAN

5

VERY BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

• PARENT– RESEMBLE PARENTAL FIGURES– EXTEROPSYCHIC

• ADULT– DIRECTED TOWARDS OBJECTIVE APPRAISAL OF

REALITY– NEOPSYCHIC

• CHILD– ARCHAIC RELICS, FIXATED IN EARLY CHILDHOOD– ARCHAEOPSYCHIC

6

Typical Behaviors

Advising

Criticizing

Ordering

Telling

Fault Finding

Moralizing

Scolding

Nurturing

Caring

Loving

Fact Finding

Questioning

Analyzing

Problem Solving

Helping

Cooperating

Planning

Coordinating

Scheduling

Thinking

Laughing

Crying

Sulking

Being Frightened

Playing

Enjoying

Dancing

Curiosity

Obeying

Dependent

ADULT PARENT CHILD

7

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING, CRITICIZING, MANY “OUGHTS”, “SHOULD” &”DON’TS”

CONSOLING, “TAKING CARE” OF OTHERS, SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE, RATIONAL, ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING, DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS, MANUPULATIVE, SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL, IMPULSIVE, NATULRALLY CURIOUS &CREATIVE, FUN LOVING, REBELLIOUS

8

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCE?”

“WHAT, IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAIL?”

“I’M SURPRISED AT YOU… THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSY”

“I’M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU”

“LET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU, MR. SMITH”

“YOU’VE DONE A SWELL JOB”

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

“WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?”

“CAN’T WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISE?”

“WHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVE?”

“ANYTHING YOU SAY, SIR!”

“SORRY, I’LL TRY TO IMPROVE.”

“WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU”

“NOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAY.”

“FORGET ABOUT IT, HE’S JUST THE BOSS”

“LET’S KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY! WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAY?”

9

EGOGRAM

• The EGOGRAM is a relationship diagram,depicting the amount of energy a normal person uses extremely. Or actively as one relates to others

CP NP A NC AC

10

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE, NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT, STOP COMMUNICATION, HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

11

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRS?”

(2) MANAGER: “YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME, ”

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER: “WHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECT?”

(2) EMPLOYEE: “WE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONE.”

(1) FIRST PTL: “GEE, I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOW.”

(2) SECOND PTL: “LET’S TAKE OFF. WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAY?’

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

12

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER: “ DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATES?”

(2) ANALYST: “HOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.”

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER: COME OVER HERE!” (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE: “WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE? IT’S JUST AS FAR!”

(1) SUPERVISOR: “HOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD ”

(2) IT SPECIALIST: “HOW SHOULD I KNOW, I ONLY WORK HERE’

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

13

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROW’S DEADLINE.”

(2) MANAGER: “IT’S O.K. I’VE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAY.”

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN: “THIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOU’D EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR – BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU.”

(2) CUSTOMER: “WELL LET’S GIVE IT A TEST DRIVE..” (HIDDEN MEANING: “WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?”)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

14

STROKINGTHE TYPES OF STROKES YOU SEEK DEPEND ON YOUR OKAYNESS

PRAISE

COMPLEMENTS

RECOGNITION

AFFECTION

REWARDS

SYMPATHY

CONSOLATION

SELF-SATISFACTION FROM JOB WELL

DONE

PUT-DOWNS

CRITICISM

DEGRADING

RIDICULE

SCOLDING

PUNISHMENT

DISCOUNTING

POSITIVE STROKES

NEGATIVESTROKES

CONDITIONAL STROKES

STROKES WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES

STROKES GIVEN FOR WHAT YOU DO,

RATHER THAN FOR WHAT YOU ARE:

(1) PERFORMANCE ORIENTED STROKES

(2) ACCOMODATION & CONFORMITY ORIENTED STROKES

15

BASIC PSYCHOLOGICAL (LIFE) POSITIONS: YOUR SELF IMAGE

1. I’M OK; YOU’RE OK

• THE “WINNER”, HEALTH, OPTIMISTIC, USUALLY ADULT-TO-ADULT EGO STATE. IDEAL LIFE POSITION ON & OFF THE JOB.

3. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE OK

• CHILD-TO-ADULT EGO STATE ACTIVATED. FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY; HERO WORSHIP; LOOKING FOR PARENT SUBSTITUTES. SEEKS DOMINANCE FROM OTHERS.

2. I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK

• USUALLY CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE ACTIVATED. MAY EVOLVE FROM HURT OR DISCOUNTED CHILD GIVING HIMSELF STROKES. FEELS DISTRUST, ANGER, SUPERIORITY.

4. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE NOT OK

• LACKS TRUST IN SELF & OTHERS. FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS OFTEN EXTREME DEPRESSION.

5. I’M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU

16

CONFLICT AT WORK: I

POOR ME

• EMPLOYEE LOOKING FOR NURTURING PARENT TO SOOTH HIS/HER I’M NOT OK FEELING LOVES TO PLAY VICTIM. SELF-PITY, MARTYR COMPLEX FREQUENT SYMPTOMS

“WHY IS EVERYBODY

ALWAYS PICKING ON ME?”

“SORRY, I COULDN’T FINISH THAT DAMN JOB OF YOURS… TOO MANY

INTERUPTIONS”

(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “PLEASE KICK ME!”)

KICK ME

“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN…”

(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “HERE’S THE KICK YOU ASKED FOR…

GLAD TO COMPLY!”)

LOOKS FOR PUT-DOWN FROM CRITICAL PARENT WILLING TO PLAY PERSECUTOR. SUBCONSCIOUSLY REINFORCES HIS/HER I’M NOT OK CHILD FEELING. NEGATIVE STROKE BETTER THAN NONE. PARTNER’S SCRIPT: I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK.

17

CONFLICT AT WORK: II

WOODEN LEG

IF IT WEREN’T FOR MY BACK TROUBLE, I COULD

WORK A LOT FASTER.

“WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SERVICE MANAGER FOR AN ESTIMATE?”

YES, BUT…

“YES, BUT HE IS AWFULLY BUSY, YOU KNOW.

A FREQUENT GAME BETWEEN STAFF AND LINE PERSONNEL. THE “HOOKER” MAY ACTUALLY ASK THE OTHER PERSON FOR HELP WITH A PROBLEM, THEN SYSTEMATICALLY FIND FAULT WITH ONE SUGGESTION AFTER ANOTHER.

USES REAL OR IMAGINED HANDICAP AS CONSTANT EXCUSE. NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE: I’M NOT OK; SELF-PITY. CONTINUALLY LOOKING FOR CONSOLATION OR PITY FROM NURTURING PARENT.

18

CONFLICT AT WORK: III

AIN’T IT AWFUL

“THESE YOUNG GUYS STRAIGHT OUT OF

COLLEGE, THE WAY THEY….”

“…I’VE GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF AROUND HERE!”

HURRIED MANAGER

COMPULSIVE MANAGER WHO TAKES ON MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY, OFTEN MORE THAN HE CAN HANDLE, THEN COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW BUSY HE IS. MAY STILL BE PLAYING OUT THE ADAPTED CHILD EGO STATE IN RESPONSE TO CRITICAL PARENT WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS. SEEKS PARENT STROKES.

GOSSIP TYPE COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN TWO CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATES. MAY FOSTER TEAM SPIRIT, BU TIN A NONPRODUCTIVE, NON-OBJECTIVE DIRECTION. POPULAR WITH COMMITTEES.

“YEAH, AIN’T IT AWFUL? WHEN I

WAS THAT AGE….”

19

CONFLICT AT WORK: IV

STUPID

“HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID, THROWING THAT PHONE MESSAGE AWAY!”

“NOW, I’VE GOT YOU, YOU S.O.B”

NIGYSOB

EXAMPLE:

MANAGER: “I HEAR THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A TECHNICAL WRITER IN HEADQUARTERS”.

SUBORDINATE: “HOW ABOUT YOUR RECOMMENDING ME FOR THAT POSITION?”

MANAGER: “YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A TECHNICAL WRITER?”

(NIGYSOB PLAYERS CAN REPEAT THIS GAME DAY AFTER DAY IF THEY CAN FIND A KICK-ME PARTNER).

MAKES DUMB MISTAKES, OFTEN GETS NEGATIVE STROKES FROM CRITICAL PARENT (KICK-ME), OR INVITING OTHER PLAYER TO FALL INTO POOR-ME GAME. A SET-UP TO MOVE INTO OTHER GAMES. OVER-ADAPTED CHILD. NEGATING SELF.

CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF PERSECUTOR SETTING UP HIS VICTIM. LOVES TO ACTIVATE HIS CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE. OFTEN SETS IMPOSSIBLE TASKS FOR SUBORDINATES, GIVES INCOMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS, THEN GETS READY TO GIVE A KICK.

20

CONFLICT AT WORK: V

UPROAR

“CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING

RIGHT?”

IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU

“IF IT WEREN’T FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING” IS A FAVORITE COP-OUT, BLAME OTHERS OR SUPPOSEDLY UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR LACK OF ACHIEVEMENTS, MANIPULATING CHILD EGO STATE ACTIVATED.

BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING. YES, BUT.. MAY BE ONE METHOD OF COUNTER-ATTACK.

“IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BOSS OF MINE, I COULD HAVE BEEN A SUPERVISOR BY NOW.”“LOOK WHO

TRAINED ME FOR THIS JOB!”

21

CONFLICT AT WORK: VI

LET’S YOU AND HIM FIGHT

“I WOULD’T WANT YOU TO TELL ANYBODY

WHO CLUED YOU IN, BUT DO YOU KNOW

WHAT MR. XXX SAID ABOUT YOUR

WORK…?”

RAPO

SAYING THINGS “IN CONFIDENCE” IS OFTEN AN ULTERIOR TRANSACTION. PLAYER HAS A HIDDEN AGENDA, ACTIVATES HIS MANIPULATIVE CHILD EGO STATE.

“KHALED IS ALEX IN YET?”

“NO, PAUL ALEX NEVER GETS IN THIS EARLY!”

USED TO DEVELOP TRANSFORM THE “I”M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU” MODE INTO “I’M OK, HE IS NOT OK”

“THAT NO-GOOD

SO-&-SO!”

22

That’s His Job Amnesia

CONFLICT AT WORK: VII

“I’M ALWAYS DOING HIS

JOB”

SOMEONE CONSTANTLY FORGETING A REQUEST OR DOING SOMETHING OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU ASK. COULD DETERIORATE INTO “I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK” IF YOUR NOT CAREFUL.

BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING.

“OH, I’M SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO.”“MY JOB, YOUR

NOT EVEN DOING YOURS”

23

CONFLICT AT WORK: VIII

YES SIR ……..

“I THINK WE SHOULD APPROACH THE

PROBLEM THIS WAY ….”

“I NEVER SAID YOU COULD JUST WALK INTO MY OFFICE WITHOUT SCHEDULING

AN APPOINTMENT”

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR TALKING TO?

MANAGER WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN WANTS TO BE FORMAL. MAY BE PLAYING CRITICAL PARENT

COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD EGO STATES. POPULAR GAME IN COMMITTEES.

“YES, WHAT A GREAT IDEA. BUT, ISN’T THAT JUST

WHAT I JUST SAID?”

24


• The 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your success is in managing people and 20 percent relates to doing your job well.

• If this is true, what is the level of “okayness” with your subordinates, peers, supervisors and most important clients?

• It is important to take the following self test to determine where you stand.

25


• Answer the following questions:• Of the people working with you the most, picking a round

number of 10, how would you categorize your level of “okayness” with them?

• In my current job this is how I see things:

26


• How I see them• Boss: I am OK he is OK• Peers: I am OK they are OK• Subordinates: 6 of them, I am OK they are not OK

• Note. Not I am not OK your not OK

• How they see me• Boss: I am not OK, he is OK• Peers: He is OK were OK• Subordinates: 4 of them, I am not OK they are OK

27


• Back to the 80/20 rule: This rule also says that your job environment is functional when 80 percent of your relationships at work are based on the I am OK your OK principle

• If the opposite is the case than your job is dysfunctional

• Most of us are somewhere in between.• You can still have a lot of “not OK” situations at

work and still be effective – it just won’t be fun.

28


• Keep in mind that the 80/20 rule can still be in your favor but you could still have major problems.

• Why? Because having an I am not OK your not OK relationship with your driver is irrelevant – having this relationship with your boss is relevant

• Keep this in mind for your home situation as well

29


• To understand why some of your relationships work and others don’t you need to assess your own behavior and that of others.

• Which mode are you in the most, parent, adult, child?• Which mode are your subordinates and peers in?• Which mode is your boss in?

30

Transactional Analysis: Understanding others through Simple Classification

• How I see them:• Boss: Critical parent• Peers: Nurturing parents• Subordinates: Most natural children, some

adapted children, few adults

• How they see themselves:• Boss: Nurturing parent• Peers: Adults• Subordinates: Mostly consider themselves adults except

some admit to being natural children

31


• Your people management skills are your key to success

• For example, I try to keep my adult mode active for as long as possible during the day

• I seldom achieve this and but I know when I have ventured away from adult mode

• In most instances you succeed because of you, or you fail because of you

• In most instances you reap what you sow.

32

Transactional Analysis:

• Understanding your relationships with others relates to gold stamps and gray stamps

• Whether we like it or not we accrue gold stamps for situations we handle well and gray stamps for situations we handle badly

• This is what defines our “okayness” with other people• For some one gray stamp is enough to put you in the

category of “I am OK your not OK”• For others a ton of gold stamps may not do much at all

33

Transactional Analysis: Role Playing

• Boss: I have a few comments on your performance -- I think you say “yes” to often to me, I think you try to be non confrontational with others in the work place. You know what, I don’t think these are good qualities of a senior manager.

• Translation: You are not OK – how would you respond?

• Is the boss being a critical parent?• How do you avoid conflict? What mode

should you adapt?

34

Transactional Analysis: role playing

• Boss: you have been doing a wonderful job for me. Really great. This is why I have decided to transfer you to another department. With more experience you can become even more valuable to all of us

• My my …… what is this?• Is this a critical parent or someone who really sees

potential in you.• What should you look for, what are the signs?

35


• Boss: The report you gave me had some strong points but it needs polishing. Let’s give it to Ms. X to finish it for you. Good job.

• Interesting – critical parent again? What should be your mode of response?

• Do you fight this or do you go along wit the boss

• A serious gray stamp is waiting to happen here.

36


• Peer: You really have to watch out, Mr. X really has it in for you. You should hear what I hear about what he says about you. Just don’t tell him you heard it from me.

• Is your peer being a nurturing parent?• How do you avoid conflict? What role should you adapt

and what should you do?

37


• Peer: Honestly, I don’t think you were being very professional when you promised the client a deliverable for next week. You should have consulted me first. I will speak to the boss about this because you are always doing it.

• Is your peer being a critical parent?• Is he OK and are you OK?• What mode should you be in and how should you handle

this?

38


• Peer: I really want this promotion and I am looking to you for help. You know him so put in a good word, I deserve this, right?

• What is your peer looking for, clearly a nurturing parent response.

• How do you avoid conflict if you really don’t want to be involved.

• How do you maintain an I am OK your OK position?

How do you avoid a gray stamp

39


• Subordinate: She really irritates me. It is not her work necessarily, it’s just the way she does things. She is all over the place, always late, not taking anything seriously especially me.

• A I am OK she is not OK presentation of fact.• How do you handle this?• How do you avoid conflict with both of them?• How can you correct for this?

40


• Secretary: here is the bill for mailing the material you wanted. I assumed this was personal so I made sure the mail room charged you. You didn’t want me to break a rule did you?

• Is this an I am OK your not OK situation? • How would you respond to this?

• Should you respond to this or just take note

41


• Employee: I am really having problems with Ms. X. I don’t mean to come to you with one personnel problem after the other.

• Boss: You can come to me all the time I guess … Ulterior message: Here we go again, is he a bad middle manager or what? Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.

42


• Employee: I thank you for bringing me back to headquarters. I just want you to know that I lost much when you transferred me but I will do my best

• Boss: Welcome back … Ulterior message: Here we go again, the if it weren’t for you game? What no one wants to work outside Cairo. Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.

43


• Employee: This job really is not my life you know. I put my family first too. I spend to much time in the office as it is and so do you. Do we really owe this place that much?

• Boss: An interesting observation… Ulterior message: Here we go again, the lazy SOB. Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.

44


• Employee: I like your cost cutting ideas, but it is not our money now is it. The ideas on saving money will cause too much disruption and it’s not as if were saving our own money.

• Boss: An interesting observation… Ulterior message: Doesn’t really much care for the company does he? Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.

45

HOW TO STOP THE GAME PLAY

• REALIZE THAT IT TAKES TWO TO PLAY A GAME• DO NOT GIVE EXPECTED RESPONSE• RESIST TEMPTATION TO PLAY RESCUER, VICTIM, PERSECTOR• TURN ON YOUR ADULT EGO STATE IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS• BUT RELIAZE THAT SOMETIMES IT’S OK TO PLAY “NURTURING

PARENT” UNTIL OTHER PERSON IS READY TO STAND ON HIS OWN FEET

• SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE ACT; DO NOT CRITICIZE HIS PERSONALITY

• DON’T EVER TELL HIM/HER THAT HE/SHE IS PLAYING A GAME• IF YOU ARE ATTACKED, REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO NEED TO

DEFEND YOURSELF IF YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS/HER PROBLEM BUT MERELY AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND RELIEF FROM PRESSURE

• PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING (BUT LISTEN ALSO TO THE WHEELS THAT DON’T SQUEAK)

46

BASIC GUIDES WHICH CAN HELP YOU IN WORKING WITH PEOPLE

• Cooperation cannot be forced• You communicate more through action than words• Sentiment and emotion count.• Everyone likes to feel important• Everyone wants to know the significance of his job• Don’t forget to show appreciation for a job well done.• Learn to listen to people• Be sincerely interested in your employees and their

welfare.

47

REVIEW OF BUZZ WORDS(BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE TOOLS FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING)

PARENTADULT EGO STATESCHILD

CRITICAL PARENTNURTURING PARENTNATURAL CHILDADAPTED CHILD

TRANSACTIONS:• COMPLEMENTARY• CROSSED• ULTERIOR

GAMES:• NIGYSOB• AIN’T IT AWFUL• KICK ME• RAPO• UPROAR• STUPID• (WHAT OTHERS: CAN YOU NAME?)

STROKES:• POSITIVE• NEGATIVE• CONDITIONAL

BASIC LIFE POSITION

COLLECTING STAMPS:• GOLD STAMPS• GRAY STAMPS

PAYOFF:• CONSCIOUS

• UNCONSCIOUS

ROLES:• VICTIM

• RESCUER• PERSECUTOR

PARENT TAPECHILD TAPE

48

PITFALLS OF T.A. IN MANAGEMENT

• THE “SOPHOMORE SYNDROME” (BUGGING COLLEAGUES BY POINTING OUT WHEN THEIR PARENT OR CHILD IS HOOKED, FOR EXAMPLE)

• ENCHANTMENT WITH THE LANGUAGE OF T.A., RATHER THAN VIEWING IT AS A TOOL FOR GROWTH & UNDERSTANDING

• USING T.A. MORE ON OTHERS THAN ON SELF

• DESIRE FOR CHANGING ONESELF MUST COME FROM THE INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF, NOT THE ORGANIZATION

• T.A. TRAINING MUST HAVE SPECIFIC OBJECTIVES

49

Contact me

[email protected]

Documents

Transactional Analysis