The Write Word Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide

8/3/2019 The Write Word Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide

1/55

The Write Words

Easy Editingand

SpiffyStyle Guide


2/55

The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide

2The Write Word

Only ambitious nonentities and hearty mediocri-

ties exhibit their rough drafts. It is like passing

around samples of their own sputum.

Vladimir Nabokov


3/55The Write Word 3

Chapter 1 A Little Editing Music

Introduction(A Little Editing Music, Please...)


4/55


4The Write Word

A Litle Ediing Music, Please

Inroducion

Say youre new o he myseries o he ediing rade, wheher youre a markeing

wrier in a 1,000-person corporaion or a reelance copyedior jus building your

chops in he business. Or maybe youre a wrier ha simply likes o clean up her

own messes. Perhaps youre a seasoned old hand who jus wans a reresher course

beore being asked o proo he AF enries o Wikipedia. Tis guide is inended o

acquain you wih ediing/prooreading undamenals and hen some. Well sar

by explaining he purposes o ediing, move ino noing some ediorial ools, dance

over o reviewing he various approaches o and mehods o ediing, and nally, odemonsrae he glories o ediing in acion, well supply some mesmerizing beore

and aer examples o unedied and edied documens.

Bu wai, has no all! Teres also a syle guide ha covers zany subjecs like apos

rophe appropriaeness, capializaion or capialiss (I made ha par up), words

requenly misspelled, misused or oherwise abused, general usage ips (acive

and passive voice and all) and how o avoid oher language sand raps ha migh

ensnare he unwary. Being raher aken wih Karen Gordons works (Te ransi

ive Vampire, or insance), I give ree rein o he horses o absurdly craedbu

correcly consrucedexample senences.

Is unny (a leas o me) abou grammar booksIm one o hose dweebosauri

ha really enjoys reading hem. A leas he amusing ones, like Gordons, and

Eas, Shoos and Leaves and Woe Is I. And lisening o he Grammar Girl podcass

is un and inormaive.

And i you hink hose opening paragraphs above need ediing, read on. As H.G.Wells said, No passion in he world is equal o he passion o aler someones

dra.

As H.G. Wells said,No passion in the

world is equal tothe passion to altersomeones dra.




I youre trying touse language to

motivate a buyerto buy or a readerto cry, writing thatdoesnt sing has nozing.


6/55


6The Write Word

In hese ormened imes o assigning blame o ohers or our own on-paper

commission o dark deeds, I believe ha i is empoweringby Jove!o ake

head-on he awesome responsibiliy o words commited o ha paper. Or,

more and more, commited o ha screen. Perhaps a useul way o look a i is

by hinking o hose imes when you migh have paricipaed in passing noes in

your grammar school classwha was so rioously unny when shared wih yourriends became sordid and unclean when you were orced by he eacher o read

i aloud in class. Is easy o see ha good ediing migh save you some embar-

rassmen, boh in your class noes and your speeches o he board o direcors.

You may send away or my DVD, Ediing and he Inner Child, aer you nish

reading.

Pifalls and Enemies of EdiingOvereditingBeore I ouline some approaches o ediing, is necessary o consider some o

he hings ha can inhibi or mar is eecive pracice. Te rs one is equally

as reacherous as no ediing a documen, and ha is o over-edi a documen.

Tis harkens back o one o he rs concerns you as an edior should have: wha

is he purpose o his piece o communicaion? Tere are vas dierences in

complexiy, scope and inen beween a memo o he sales eam and a company

nancial repor, and he dierences in he composiion o such documens has a

grea relevance o heir ediorial decomposiion.

Tereore, o spend a grea deal o deliberaive ime in considering wheher o

use implemen or execue in a wo-senence message abou posiioning he

microwave in he lunchroom is ime wased. (Besides, hose are boh weenie

words anyway.) Jus as you don ime your eggs wih an aomic clock, i is over-

kill o use a ne-ooh comb on wriing ha has no hair o be combed. Speaking

o no hair, I will use Seh Godins phrase: Ship, as in ge i ou he door. A piece

o wriing ha is endlessly niggled over is a piece o wriing ha goes unshipped

and unread.

Overformatting

A closely relaed oible is one ha addresses one o he joys o he compuer

agehe abiliy o change he appearance o your documen in myriad ways.

Tis boon has hidden coss: you can spend weny minues wriing a simple



repor and ory minues ormating i. Cerainly an acue eye or which ons are

complemenary and wheher a hal-poin rule is beter under a subhead han a

one-poin rule are valid concernsor a graphic aris preparing a publicaion

wih wide circulaion. However, in many insances, ashy graphics and prety

ypography are poor, i no misleading, subsiues or he subsance o your mes-

sage. Simpliciy has an elegance ha commands atenion.

Tis o course maters less or elecronic documens, which hankully can ex-

press all he ripperies o exoic ypography wihou hard-coding complicaions.

And i you have a clien waiing or a wo-paragraph blurb on heir Abou page,

hey really aren going o give a hoo wheher you dress your ex in a uxhey

jus wan he words, no heir oundaion garmens.

Speaking o spending endless ime aligning decimal poins (has a litle joke

you should align your decimals, dammi!), ime isel can be eiher an ally or an

enemy when puting ogeher a publicaion. You acually can edi a documen

o needless perecion i you have he ime. I is my experience ha a piece o

wriing can pass my desk en imes, and even i is jus a wo-page sell shee, I

can always nd somehing else wrong or needul o change. Te possibiliies

o how a senence can be consruced are virually limiless, bu you have o

consider wheher he resuls are worh he eor. I youre wriing on a deadline,

is oen beter o be almos righ han absoluely, unquesionably, he very

righes righ.

Style and Inconsistency

Anoher issue o righness is ha o ediing syles. William Sare migh have

sen a leter bomb o John Simon over wheher o use which or ha aer a

relaive clause. Te Associaed Press migh declare ha you mus eliminae he

nal comma in a comma series, e.g., I dressed my ca in leaher sockings, boos

and miniskir, while Fowlers Modern English Usage implies ha you will be

ogged i you don pu a comma aer boos. For many o hese so-called con-roversies, i is acually he privilege o he auhor o decide. A senences rhyhm

migh skip a bea wih he inclusion or exclusion o a single comma, bu don le

mold grow in your coee wih debaing i. Language is remarkably dynamic

hough here are many saunch deenders o whom, is employmen may all by

he same wayside where shan is quiely roting.



8/55


8The Write Word

Don ge me wronggrammar and puncuaion are by no means merely subjec-

ive. Tere are some auhoriies o consul.Pinckers Pracical Grammaris my

source or a number o ediing atiudes, a book ha miraculously enough makes

reading abou grammar boh inormaive and amusing. For hose horny issues o

synax and semanics, I all back upon Te Chicago Manual o Syle (16h ediion)andMerriam-Websers Collegiae Dicionary, 11h Ediion as my arbiers o whas

righ and rue, and hough oher auhoriies migh cones cerain usage pracices

o heirs, I wouldn veer rom heir road. Unless, o course, a proposed correcion

was presened in a compelling way; exibiliy is as good in an edior as in an ac-

roba, you know. (Tere are elecronic versions o many o hese venerable omes

hese days, and hey can be a quick x or sicky grammar kerues, bu i I have

he ime, I sill like o peruse on paper.) Check he Syle Guide secion below or

elaboraion on elecronic aids o good grammar and is worhy pursui.

As I say in ha Syle Guide secion, my choices and ariculaions here aren he

end-all and be-allhey are suggesions and encouragemens or paying atenion

o your wriing.

Consisency is one o he keys or issues o syle. You migh arbirarily decide ha

you will always use lowercase leters o inroduce enries, e.g.,

a) a iskeb) a aske

so i would seem obviously conounding o have

A) a riscui

B) a asmanian devil

wo pages laer. Bu someimes he obvious jus ain soyou have o be vigilan o

be consisen, and sharply conscious o such disincions i heir insances are sca

ered hroughou a long documen.



Chapter 2 Editing Tools

Editing Tools


10/55


10The Write Word

Ediing Tools

ime, which lendsitsel well to over-

editing, extends a fiendlier hand tothe editor or proo-reader who canbreathe slowly and

steadily while por-ing over a manu-script.

imeIn one o hose grand paradoxes ha so enliven exisence, I have o lis as a promi-

nen ediing ool one o he iems Ive also lised as an ediing piall: ime. A

documen ha is hurriedly edied is he he documen ha ges away wih having

he repeiion o he word he in his senence. Maybe you caugh i, maybe you

didn, bu chances are ha i you were in a hurry, your eye would skip by. ime,

which lends isel well o over-ediing, exends a riendlier hand o he edior or

prooreader who can breahe slowly and seadily while poring over a manuscrip.

O course, his isn really an issue in a business leter, bu or a documen o any

wordy subsance, ime is an allydon rush your edi.

Spellcheckers and Grammar CheckersSpeaking o he double he in he paragraph above brings up ediing allies o

a more ambiguous naurespellcheckers and grammar (or syle) checkers. A

spellchecker is a very useul ool, and one ha should be employed as a rs line

o deense in a documen; mos o hem now would aler you when insances like

wo hes ripple he rug o your senences. However, I hink hey can give you a

sense o alse securiy. Any wriing o real imporance should be reviewed aer

youve spellchecked i, or hey won see he you as wrong when you meanyour; hey won ag homophones (like o, oo, and wo) as a misake when

misakes are made, ec.

As or grammar checkers, many o hem will nd syle misakes such as hose

above, bu I have ried several and even hough hey can be cusomized o ignore

your deliberae misakes (such as he use o he passive voice), I hink hey are

only useul or wriers unamiliar wih common sandards o writen language, and

are more o a hindrance han an aid. Tey can be useul or indicaing a cerain

reading level in a piece o wriing (hey will ell you i your wriing has oo many

big words and wha reading level o audience i is slaned oward), bu even hen

hey are clumsy and no responsive o nuance in wriing. Submi he passages

o your avorie wriings o hemhey will generae such criicism ha youll

wonder how wain or Shakespeare could have ever ound prin. Ive argued wih

Words grammar checker on muliple occasions, and he damn hing jus won

lisen. Is never bough me a drink eiherhmmmph!


11/55


12/55


12The Write Word

Guide secion. O course, like all good menal ahlees, grammarians like o ussle a

bi, so you may nd ino hasgasp!considered reasure in one corner, ripe in

anoher.

Speaking o dicionaries, hey are an ediors bes riend (because you can hrow

hem a wriers). Keep one nearby and reer o i oen, even i jus o learn he

eymology o hyrax and oher indispensable words. O course, Im beraying myhoary origins by praising paper dicionaries; ull disclosure: when I worked on he

rs Guenberg Bible, I used o use a pica scale (someimes called a pica ruler), a

litle plasic ruler-like hing ha gave me precise measuremens o ype and lead-

ing. And hose guys hough I was bleeding-edge.



Chapter 3 Types of Editing

Types of andApproaches

to Editing


14/55


14The Write Word

Types of & Approaches o Ediing

Brief or Relatively Unimportant DocumentsTere are probably as many ways o edi as here are o make pancakes (email

me your avorie recipes); well consider a ew. Some ediorial procedures are

deermined by he documen isel: you would give a cerain degree o precise

atenion o a scienic reaise ha wouldn be given o a movie review. A lo

o wha Im discussing below is i you are an in-house copyedior or some oher

loy ofce holder; i you are an independen wrier, goodness (and badness)

knows ha youd beter edi everyhing youre producing wih a hard eye. Cliens

can be sicklers or rivial deails like spelling heir names correcly.

Say you were he edior a a soware company, as I was many years ago. I you

were veriying sysem requiremens, you probably wouldn wan he documen-

aion o soware requiremens o read a lo o RM. However, colorul or

subjecive or no-alogeher precise language abou he soware could peaceully

exis in an adverisemen wihou qualm. Conex is crucial.

Some broad generaliies o consider: Does he documen mee is goals? Does i

address he appropriae audience and vice versa? (Tis is no o ask i i undress-es your audience.) Is he level o deail oo scany, or oo heavy?

Les consider some ypes o company documens: For an inernal memo or

email, you could simply re-read i or sense, making sure o run he spell-check.

A business leter o any subsance migh require analyzing i or coherency and

logic, inclusion o he spell-check, and perhaps a prinou o read over beore

you send your nal dra. Adverising, markeing and sales copy need all o hose

concerns me, and perhaps a reading aloud o noe he pich and rhyhm o hemessage.

Long documens, such as whiepapers or company posiioning saemens

require ull scruiny: prin ou he documens, mark hem up wih your ediing

pen, and go over hem again. Tough I do edi longish documens on he screen,

i is somehing ha is criical or or which a company needs o pu orh is bes,

burnished ace, prin i and read i wih care, more han once.

Clients can be stick-lers or trivial details

like spelling theirnames correctly.



Longer DocumentsFor he manual or signicanly long documen, ediing is usually done in phases.

For example, les say you are going o edi a 10-page proposal describing in deail

a soware game youve designed, your rs ever, somehing youve labored on or

a year. Les say he proposal is going o someone who could make or break he

games publicaion. Les say ha someone is a noable yran who is a sickler or

he unbending rules o good grammar and composiion. Les say he proposal

will be complex, wih included graphics. Tis is probably somehing you wan o

boh read well and look welldon do your nal hard-copy proo while youre

eaing lobser.

VoiceWhen youre working wih anohers wriing, wheher wihin your company or

as a conracor, you need o recognize and proec he original voice o he piece.Tis can especially come o he ore or a longer documen, bu also can be preva-

len in websie copy, where he company expresses is characer in one, word

selecion and even he lengh o senences. Make a conscious eor o reain he

eel o he piece: i i uses slang or inormal language, don inser any ponderous

verbiage ha makes he reader wonder i he wrier has muliple personaliies.

O course, i is par o your job as an edior o sugges ha he ace o a piece

migh be oo ormal, oo wordy, oo riendly or is inended audience or goal.Bu major shis in he characer o an aricle o wriing should be discussed wih

your clien or your boss beore you decide o inser any naughy limericks in an

annual repor, jus o spice i up a bi.

EXAMPLES OF EDITING STAGES

Sage 1: Ouline

Here you would examine he documens ouline (i i has one), assessing is

overall srucure and deermining i here are missing or superuous subjecareas.

Sage 2: Firs Dra (Conen Edi)

Tis is where subsanive srucural changes can be suggesed: changes in overall

one or slan, deep shiing o paragraphs, suggesions o ampliy or discard ideas,

ec. Tis migh be he mos difcul edi, because he documen is sill in manu-

When youre work-ing with anothers

writing, whetherwithin your compa-ny or as a contrac-tor, you need to rec-ognize and protect

the original voice othe piece.



16/55


16The Write Word

scrip, and doesn have he bene o layou and graphics (i i is a documen

desined o hose heighs) o clariy hings. Tis ype o edi is a conen edi,

prooreaders pen pu aside, no conscious atenion paid o grammar or spelling.

A conen edi is done o:

scan for readability, structure and logic

look for how the ideas are developed, supported and elaborated upon look for paragraphs that have a natural bond with their preceding and succeed-

ing brehrenunless you are he cray wrier ha can urn a sarling corner in a

documen wihou leaving your reader breahless.

Tis ype o edi is a reading or sense, o veriy ha he premises or hemes o he

work are persuasive and aren larded wih superuous ideas or empy suicases o

words (and o make sure hose suicases are idily packed!). In his kind o edi,

you would consider moving enire paragraphs around or removing enire para-graphs. I he documen ruly needed he scalpel, you migh have o address i i

mees he overall inended heme.

Sage 3: Correced Manuscrip (Line Edi)

Tis sage reas he correced manuscrip, in which you migh sill make con-

siderable changes, bu hey shouldn be o broad srucural value. From here on

ou, he edior mus be conscious o conning edis o he requesed leveldon

make heme/syle changes unless hey conribue a necessary adjusmen o hecopy. Comprehensive issues o ocus, one and organizaion should already be

setled.

Here is where you would probably perorm your line edi, where you atenively

consider consrucion and phrasing; here any spelling and grammaical miscues

are re-cued. Also, he correcness o inormaion mus be veried: hings like

phone numbers, echnical specicaions, and legal issues, i hey are naive o he

documen. I his piece were circulaing hrough all company deparmens, henAdminisraors, esearchers, Projec Managers and Bosses migh all have heir

sho a careul reading and careul correcing or heir respecive concerns. Te

same climbing (or sadly, descending) he rungs could ake place i you are ediing

or a clien, who urns ou o have seven levels o review. Is vial o ge hese ma-

ers setled a his sage, because correcions a he layou sage are more complex

(graphic elemens and heir ex counerpars can be orn asunder) and more

ime-consumingand hus more rusraing or all. We all need o pay atenion

a his sage.



The Dance of Language

Tis is also he ime or ediors o consider a senences rhyhm: wo senences

can conain similar ideas and meaning, bu one migh shimmy like Fred Asaire

and he oher like Fred Munser. Which would you wan as your dance parner?

Consider:

Aer a long , loping run hrough he green expanse o he oueld, he ball setled in hisglove like a utering dove.

and

He ran and caugh he ball.

Or perhaps:

So we bea on, boas agains he curren, borne back ceaselessly ino he pas.

and

Tas he way i goes.

O course, you migh be choking wih Hemingwayian rage, saying ha he second

senences are clearly superior o he rs, which migh blushingly admi o being

a ouch overwrough, F. Scot nowihsanding. Im no disagreeingno exacly.

Again, conex is he hing. Flutering doves migh have no place in your business

leter, bu perhaps heres a place where hey migh nes in your proposal. Wha

Im saying is ha we can oen overlooko our discredihe ac ha writen

communicaion has a rhyhm, a sound heard in your mind. Paying atenion o

how one senence, or even one word, passes on he baon o he nex is impor-

an. Senences have movemen and body. I you are seadily climbing he rope

o a senence and when you reach or he nex word your hand grips a rog raher

han he rope, is a bi unpleasan. Jus be aware o he rogs in your wriing.

In his regard, one o he bes ways o check a piece o wriing is o read i aloud

places where you sumble are oen hose places where he wriing has no legs,

or one leg oo many. I realize ha reading your work aloud may promp your

ofce mae in he cubicle nex o you o pu pasa sauce on your keyboard. I

circumsances preven reading aloud, learn how o read aloud in your mind. Wih

pracice, his mehod can be eecive: you will hear wheher he ow o words

has a big clo in he pipes. You can begin o hear he dierence beween a ne

mis o words and a gushing caarac. When you ge really good, youll be able o

hear he suble dierence beween a dash and a comma, and his will make your

command o hem all he beter. ry i.



18/55


18The Write Word

Also, be sure in your line edi o:

pay aention to chapter heads, subheads, title pages and the like (if there are

any o hese), because is oen his big display ype ha can ge he beter o you,

while youre paying minue atenion o he body copy.

always double-check the obviouswhen youre a journalist you want to make

sure ha he name o he person youre slandering is spelled righ. Is easy o

overlook he big, bold ype in avor o he ex; you don wan o make all o

hose evil degeneraes who only gain pleasure by poining ou a prooreaders

error happy, now do you?

Sage 4: Layou or Page Proos (Visual Edi)

Aer you complee your line edi and veriy your correcions, is ime or a

visual edi. Visual edis are bes done on he prined page, unless youre pressed

or ime. are are he people who can prooread beter onscreen han on paper.

Some documens will never ge o his phase, because hey are solely ex, or have

an innocuous, simple layou. Bu or hose pieces ha do move o a layou sage,

his phase, when he documen has come back rom layou, brings up a hos o

ormating concerns o be conscious o in addiion o exual issues.

Tis is where you concern yoursel wih maters like:

alignments (you know, those pesky decimals)

leer and word spacing, and leading, or line spacing.

I you have pu your documen in a deskop publishing program like InDesign

or Quark, you have some conrol over leter and word spacing, which can be he

source o some visual anomalies in your ype. You migh nd some lines wih

grea gaps beween words and some lines soighthatheycanbreahe.

I is a documen where he visuals are a deep concern, you migh wan oeliminae widows and orphans, which are single words or single lines a he ops

or botoms o pages ha can make a documen look blochy. Speaking o he

botoms o pages, he visual edi is also where you veriy he paginaion and he

conen o chaper idenicaion ooers, ec., i is a book-like ediion. Again, i

is a deskop publicaion, be sure o look a all o he lines ha end a paragraph

or heir coninuiy and sense, because hey can someimes can be rolled up

and obscured by he layou program.



One old ediors rick (here are ew hings worse han an old edioraagh! Te

smell o cigars!) is o urn your documen upside down o see i he spacing is

even beween heads and subheads and beween lines o ex. Ta way you don

have he disracion o he conen o he words, jus a visual view o he docu-

men.

You mus also consider ype syles, line breaks, paginaion, whie space and

graphics placemen (including checking words wihin graphics), and ha cerain

inangible eel or color o a page, as ypographers say. You shouldn be mak-

ing major ex changes a his poin unless you can supply he budge o cover

i and be responsible or dealing wih any anxieies abou prining and shipping

deadlines. O course, wih he decline o prin, hese concerns aren as prevalen

as hey once were. Bu i you are dealing wih imporan prin-sage documens,

only a very, very naughy in-house colleague or ouhouse (did I say ha?) clienwould venure o sugges changes now ha would be congenially welcomed a

Sage 3.

I is a long documen ha more han one person works on, you have o be very

careul o check any correcions agains he original edied manuscrip. More

han once has a correcion resuled in anoher misake nearbySaan never

sleeps, you know. Elecronic versioning has eliminaed some o hese concerns,

bu when you are a he elevenh hour wih a deadline, and you are looking a

prined copies (and even elecronic ones) shared among ediors, conusion can

sill make or calamiy.

O course, i you are wriing o your mechanic o complain abou being over-

charged on your une-up, you wouldn go hrough all o hese sages. Jus make

sure your curses are on arge and ha you cc: your lawyer. And o course, when

youre nished, read i over, again. All good documens deserve he avor o an

edi.

Sage 5: Bluelines, Page Proos, Galley Proos and Oher Aniquiies

Even wih odays digial plaes, or long, prined documens like manuals or

guides, companies usually sill receive some orm o nal proos, such as a blue-

line, page proos or galley proos. No mater heir name, you sill have o check

heir credenials. A his sage, you should scan every page again (no a line edi,



20/55


20The Write Word

bu a swi review edi) and i you have ime, look over random pages again in

heir enirey, veriying paginaion hrough he chaper headings and able o

conens (and paginaion hroughou), checking ha senences end paragraphs

properly (hey can drop ou and lose lines), ha ex ows rom one page o

anoher, ec. Check all he graphics or clariy. I here are many errors in hese

random pages, you probably need o go hrough he whole damn hing again.

So now ha youve presened your splendidly composed documen o your be-

necen boss or your congenial clien and hes signed he conrac or he design

o he une o dancing dollars, remind hem no o orge your riendly neighbor-

hood edior. We ge ired o eaing cheese sandwiches oo.

General Editing Edicts (and a good soldier he was)

A ew general consideraions (some unabashedly solen rom Pincker): Eliminate the inessential. Pare down the superuous verbiage, and if you think

here isn any, slam a sho o espresso and look again. (Or jus read anyhing Ive

writenyoull see wha no o do.)

Vary your sentence paerns. Sentences of the same lengththat have the

one-wo-hree o subjec, verb, objechave he regular rhyhm o he sleepers

breah. And he smell. Push he verbs o he ron, use subordinae clauses, pause

in your senences middle, srangle your senencehere are a million ways o

make words work; ry some. Dont overqualify your ideas (i.e., eliminate the weak knees). Too many some-

imes or in his insance or probably or maybes or mighs end o ake

he muscle ou o your work. I have a endency o do his, sor o, a litle. ell he

world: Brussels sprous are hideous!no kind ohideous.

All writing is rewriting. Its been said that you should go through your work and

remove hose pars you like he bes, because hey are your avorie pe ideas or

expressions or he ashy ricks ha disrac by calling atenion o hemselves.

Tis one is ough.

If youre editing someone elses work, dont practice editing as confrontation.

Tis is where you migh arbirarily nd errors o demonsrae he wriers or

perhaps anoher ediors incompeence. I you are no he original wrier, your

work should shape he expression o he wriers houghs, no he houghs

hemselves. A good edior enhances he wriers srenghs.

If you ll your business writing with words like proactive and parameters,

has your choice, bu please include a clohespin so readers can clip heir noses.



Chapter 4 We Have Proof!

We HaveProof!


22/55



Deeper degrees oedit indicate that

you are conidentthat the editing sug-gestion makes a ma-terial improvementto the writing.



24/55


24The Write Word



Advise for the Lovescorned

(Tales from the Cryptic)

Tink youve go relaionship problems? Guess again, Bucko. ead his leter

one o o our cusomers accidenally sen us raher han her regisraion card and

youll know ha youre squeeze is valenino by comparison.

My boyriend is a Vampire. Is a problem as old as ime; perhaps even older. As

you know, he undead never really call i quis, never walk graceully ou o he

picure, never le honeyed memory sweeen he rue bie o heir deeds. Basically,

hey jus hang around 24hour bowling alleys, say insolen hings o all-nigh

convenience sore clerks, and drink an occasional six-pack o plasma rom he

necks o sozzled sooges ha wobble heir las unorunae walk down darkened

alleys.

LookIm no complaining. Ok, so he doesn make i o my company picnics,

oen spilled old grave yard dir ou o his cus and ono my carpes, and doesn

show me any aecion unless Ive jus goten a very drippy paper cuI can deal

wih i.

Te real problem is his parens. You don know rouble unil youve deal wih a

vampires parens. Always harping on he ehnic hing: W hy can you nd a nice

ransylvanian girl? W haever happened o ha lovely wich, Gellspitle, who aleas had an decen job, raising black widows? Tis skinny warless wonder wih

he dreadul clean house and he open curainswhere have we gone wrong?

Hey, is no like I haven ried. I go up wih hem nigh aer nigh a 4 o play

Scrabble and o each he ras o whisle, bu he bags under my eyes began o

look like Jiy Pop packages. I drew he line a he ba hing: would anyone you

know dress up in a ull-on ba ou, swoop down winding saircases, and ry o

locae he rerigeraor by sonar, like his parens asked?

So I guess is over. Ive sared going ou wih some raerniy guy; hes swee bu

a litle dumb. I guess I go used o FrankIm a litle bi repulsed by how an he

ra boys skin is, and he doesn quie ge i when I ell him ha I really, really like

o have my neck biten. Oh well, i could have been worse. A leas Franks clohes

were sharpI could have gone ou wih Mummy.



26/55


26The Write Word



Advice for the Lovescorned

(Tales from the Cryptic)

Tink youve go relaionship problems? Guess again, Bucko. ead his leter one

o our cusomers accidenally sen us raher han her regisraion card and youll

know ha your squeeze is Valenino by comparison.

My boyriend is a vampire. Is a problem as old as ime, perhaps even older. As you

know, he undead never really call i quis, never sep graceully ou o he picure,

never le honeyed memory sweeen he rue bie o heir deeds. Basically, hey jus

hang around 24-hour bowling alleys, say imperinen hings o all-nigh conve-

nience sore clerks, and drink an occasional six-pack o plasma rom he necks o

sozzled sooges ha wobble heir las unorunae walk down darkened alleys.

LookIm no complaining. OK, so he doesn make i o my company picnics, o-

en spills old graveyard dir ou o his cus and ono my carpes, and doesn show

me any aecion unless Ive jus goten a very drippy paper cuI can deal wih i.

Te real problem is his parens. You don know rouble unil youve deal wih a

vampires parens. Always harping on he ehnic hing: Why can you nd a nice

ransylvanian girl? W haever happened o ha lovely wich Gellspitle, who a

leas had a decen job, raising black widows? Tis skinny warless wonder wih he

dreadully clean house and he open curainswhere have we gone wrong?

Hey, is no like I haven ried. I go up wih hem nigh aer nigh a 4 o play

Scrabble and o each he ras o whisle, bu he bags under my eyes began o look

like Jiy Pop packages. I drew he line a he ba hing: would anyone you know

dress up in a ull-on ba ou, swoop down winding saircases, and ry o locae

he rerigeraor by sonar, like his parens asked?

So I guess is over. Ive sared going ou wih some raerniy guy; hes swee bu alitle dumb. I suppose I go used o FrankIm a litle bi repulsed by how an he

ra boys skin is, and he doesn quie ge i when I ell him ha I really, really like

o have my neck biten. Oh well, i could have been worse. A leas Franks clohes

were sharpI could have gone ou wih he Mummy.



28/55


28The Write Word

Ediing Checklis

Ediing is a process o sages. Wihin sages, you should also progress in separae

seps. In oher words, don ry o look or all he hings in a given sage in one

review o he documen. You should go hrough he documen checking jus a ew

hingsor even one hinga a ime (e.g., look a only headings on one run-hrough, look a only page numbers on anoher, ec.). Depending on how many

imes you see he documen, you migh end up combining some o he sages

below. Even so, don ry o cover oo many bases wih each review o he dra.

NOE: Tis checklis is comprehensive in he sense ha i covers all he respon-

sibiliies o he main edior, direced oward an in-house edior, bu applicable o

all . A some ediorial requess, you migh only concern yoursel wih he checklis

iems in boldhas where you can really help in he ediorial process. O course,

i you happen o noice anyhing else ha needs xing, mark i oo.

Stage 1: Outline Dae: _____________

Examine the documents outline, assessing its overall structure

and organization. Check the order o inormation.

Determine i there are missing or superuous subject areas.

Stage 2: First Draf (Content Edit) Dae: _____________

A his poin youre reading or sense and logic, so youll be makingsubsanive srucural changes as necessary. Don ocus on grammar or

spelling.

Sugges changes in one or slan.

Look a readabiliy, srucure, ocus and logic.

Consider moving enire paragraphs around or removing paragraphs

alogeher.

Look a cohesiveness (does one paragraph ow rom he preceding one

and o he succeeding one?).

Sugges ampliying or discarding ideas.

Look or how he ideas are developed, suppored and elaboraed upon.

Pass he documen by relevan (i any) personnel (e.g., sales, producers,

ech supporers, markeers, ec.).

Check accuracy o inormation (last-minute changes, versions, etc.).



Stage 3: Corrected Manuscript (Line Edit) Dae: _____________

Tis sage reas he correced manuscrip, in which you migh sill make consider-

able changes, bu hey shouldn be o broad srucural value. From here on ou,

he edior mus be conscious o conning edis o he requesed leveldon make

syle changes unless hey reec an acual error in he copy. Comprehensive issues

o ocus, one and organizaion should already be setled.

Consider consrucion and phrasing.

Check spelling and grammar.

Veriy the correctness o things like phone numbers, technical specs,

legal issues, name spellings, etc. Final responsibility or accuracy o

inormation rests with the author.

Noice senences rhyhm. Do hey sound polished? (ead hem aloud i

you need o.)

Post Layout

Stage 4: Layout or Page Proos (Visual Edit) Dae: _____________

Tis phase, when he documen has come rom layou, brings up a hos o orma-

ing concerns o be conscious o in addiion o exual issues (you shouldn be

making any major ex changes). Because o he number o edis a his phase, you

will probably have a ew rounds o checking ha he changes were made beore he

documen goes o press, i has is ae.Check correcions agains he original edied manuscrip. (Correced prob-

lems oen creae new ones.)

Look a alignmen.

Check leter and word spacing as well as leading, or line spacing.

Look a line breaks and page breaks.

Eliminae widows and orphans.

Check he correcness and clariy o graphics, veriying placemen and

making sure ha he graphic is he righ one.

Check words wihin graphics (legible?) and callous (righ one? spelling?

capializaion?).

Veriy paginaion (missing pages?) and he conen o chaper idenicaion

ooers.

Check headings: levels, syles, spacing, ec.

Make sure ype syles and ons are correc.

Check lines ha end a paragraph or coninuiy because hey can some-

imes be rolled up and obscured by he layou program.



30/55


30The Write Word

Check ile pages and chaper heads.

Check headers, i any.

Veriy able o conens (OC) page accuracy.

Make sure you see all pages (ron pages and ile pages may no have

been included wih previous versions you edied).

Stage 5: Lino/Blueline/Page/Galley Proos Dae: _____________

Check correcions agains he original edied manuscrip.

Wihou reading he documen, scan every page looking or errors wih

graphics and ex.

I ime, look over a ew random pages more horoughly checking head-

ings, senences and paragraphs (ensuring ha hey didn drop ou)

and ha ex ows rom one page o anoher. (I here are many errors

on hese random pages, ha probably means you should look he whole

hing over again, in deail.)e-veriy able o conens (OC) page accuracy.

Veriy index page accuracy (selec a ew random ones i is a large docu-

men).

e-veriy paginaion.



Chapter 5 Stylin in Style

Stylinin Style


32/55


32The Write Word

Sylin in Syle

And since language(and its legislative

branch, grammar)is such a malleable,living thing, its al-ways un to see thedustups between the

prescriptivists andthe descriptivists.

Below is a decidedly non-comprehensive (you haven all day, aer all) lis o syle

and usage poins, pluckily solen rom syle and usage mavens across he globe. Ocourse, mavens end o argue a lo, so I jus exercised my own prejudices and chose

he examples I know in my prescripiviss hear are righ. (My descripiviss hear

wins mos o he oher argumens.) And since language (and is legislaive branch,

grammar) is such a malleable, living hing, is always un o see he dusups be-

ween he prescripiviss and he descripiviss. Being a pracical ellow, Im more

in he descripivis camp, hough I have o admi I someimes admire he ironclad

asserions o he prescripivis apparachiks, who HAE changing sandards. Or

non-sandard sandards. Or sandards ha slump a bi.

O course, i I ried o make his syle guide exhausive, i would exhaus you. You

can always Google or more examples o online syle guides. One o he newer

ones is Yahoos, ound a htp://syleguide.yahoo.com/wriing. Is go a secion

on wriing or he Web, which is, in hese days o chunkiying inormaion, help-

ul. And chunky. Yahoos guide also has an Ediing 101 secion, bu mines beter,

because hose guys who wroe heirs are Yahoos.

Anoher ha les you search or word, senence and paragraph-level grammar ishe Guide o Grammar and Wriing: htp://grammar.ccc.commne.edu/gram-

mar/. You can also check ou he BBC News syle guide online a htp://www.

bbcraining.com/pds/newssyleguide.pd. Is rom 2003, and arges journalisic

wriing (and o course youll hun endlessly or he Mony Pyhon jokes), bu is

jolly good.

Youll also be happy o know you can see he ull conens o he litle book,

Srunk and Whies Elemens o Syle, righ here: htp://www.barleby.com/141/

Youd do jus as well o read any o E.B. Whies essays or an in-he-eld example

o sellar wriing. Heck, even he Chicago Manual o Syle has an online version.

I originally wroe his guide as he basis or a company syle guide, needed by rms

o any size ha produce los o documens. However, Ive edied and augmened i

so ha i will help you pen love noes o he posman or apply or ha litle hodes


33/55


34/55



Capitalization of Names and Terms

ry o avoid excessive capializaion in your ex. Youll nd ha you can represen

many words derived rom or associaed wih proper nouns as lowercase wihou

losing clariy. Te mos imporan rule is o be consisen.

Capialize civil, miliary, religious, proessional iles, and iles o nobiliy only

when hey immediaely precede a personal name as par o he name.Czar Micholinias Bremer nodded his head, and a housand oher heads were lopped

fom heir bodies.

I didn ake long or he oppressed peoples o design a special gi or he czar.

Colons

You usually use a colon o inroduce a lis or series. However, don use one i you

inroduce a lis wih expressions such as namely, or insance, or example, or ha

is. And don use a colon unless he lis consiss o one or more grammaically

complee clauses.

oger amje saved our naion in our ways: sopped a deadly come wih his denures,

plugged an eruping volcano wih old laundry, mixed acid rain wih jalapenos or

award-winning chili, and won a ussian roulete, annoying he ussians.

oger amje saved our naion in our ways, namely, sopped a deadly come wih his

denures, plugged an eruping volcano wih old laundry, mixed acid rain wih jalapenos

or award-winning chili, and won a ussian roulete, annoying he ussians.

A senence in which he erms as ollows or he ollowing direcly precede he

lised iems, or he inroducory senence is incomplee wihou hose iems,

requires a colon.

Te bes approach is as ollows:

Wake up

Stretch

Consider your obligations

Go back to bed

You should use a colon o inroduce a ormal saemen, an exrac, or a speech in

a dialogue.

A mensch isn a mensch unless:

He/she/it hears the beat of a dierent drummer.

He/she/it straightens out the curves and curves out the straights.

He/she/it thinks that soware preceded the Big Bang.

He/she/it hopes that the Messiah isnt dressed in workout clothes.



36/55


36The Write Word

Avoid ending a page wih a colon (wih he lis maerials on he page ollowing).

Inser a page break or rewrie your ex o avoid his consrucion. Follow a colon

wih a single space. (And we don recommend ha he he/she/itconsrucion ever

darkens he door o any pages bu hese.)

CommasOmi commas aer shor inroducory phrases (our words or ewer) a he begin-

ning o a senence, excep where required or emphasis. I omiting he comma

migh conuse your reader, pu one in.

I we go now we ir wih disaser.

During his week we shall consruc he perec lollipop.

During Debbies reign, havoc ruled.

Use commas only wih numerals greaer han our digis.

Usurious charges: $6666

War-ridden charges: $33,000

Pages 100 hrough 1000 were lled wih obscene episodes.

And never orge: Te paper cu rom a comma splice is paricularly painul.

Cultural Periods

Culural periods recognized by archaeologiss and anhropologiss, or based upon

characerisic echnology, are capialized. Comparable modern designaions, how-ever, are bes le lowercase.

Te Sone Age

Te Bronze Age

Ice Age

space age

inormaion age

soned age

Dashes

I alwaysand I mean alwaysuse em-dashes in my wriing, because hey can sig-

nal a more pregnan pause han a comma, or can push a reader back rom he edge

o a clior hrow her over. Te visual dierence beween dashes can someimes

be suble, depending on he on, bu hey are disinc.

An em dash looks like his:

An en dash looks like his:

A hyphen looks like his: -



Use em dashes (also seen as m-dashes) o sugges sudden changes in consruc-

ion or o se o parenheical elemens whose logical relaionship o he res o

he senence is more remoe han can be indicaed by commas. Do no pu spaces

around an em dash.

My primary ineresoher han padding my coers wih solen undswas o look

ou or he welare o he downrodden.

You can also use an em dash o reierae. In ha case, i would mean ha is. Never

use a dash in conjuncion wih ha is.

Yes: Teres only one course o ollowgrease your knees and play canasa.

No: Teres only one course o ollowha is, grease your knees and play canasa.

En dashes show range beween numbers o pages and running daes. Oherwise,

use he word o o indicae range. A hair space, or you layou acionados, is okay

o se o an en-dash, hough spacing around an en-dash is no ypical.

welve o hireen people lled ou he ush Limbaugh cosume.

We decided o sage a hree-day solar eclipse running fom November 13.

We decided o sage a hree-day solar eclipse running fom November 1 o 3.

Use hyphens in documens ha need o be plain ex. Also, in prin, youll oen

see wo hyphens--no spaces--serving as an em-dash.

She wore an isy-bisy, yellow polka-do bikini.

You know wha we like o do Friday nighs--pary!

Dates

Wrie daes as ollows:

On Ocober 20, 1954

In Ocober 1954

Never use all-gure daes. Te American syle o MM/DD/YY can be conusing

o inernaional readers and business conacs.

Cenuries and decades are spelled ou in reerence o paricular cenuries and

decades unless hey are par o a proper name.

he wenieh cenury

during he eighies

h cenury B.C.



38/55


38The Write Word

Use gures when ideniying decades by cenury. Do no use aposrophes.

Te consuming scal res o he 1980s

Idolaers Symposium 95

1995 (no 95)

Ellipses

Ellipsis poins (he old do, do, do) indicae he omission o a word, phrase, lineor paragraph rom a quoaion or reerence. Use hree dos, wih a space on eiher

side, wihin a senence and use our a he end o a senence (an ellipsis ollowed

by a period). Using he ellipsis o indicae a broken rain o hough may appear

poeic, bu usually is a weak means o consrucion. Teres also a ypographical

characer or an ellipsis ha prevens he periods rom sraying ono anoher line;

is an operaing-sysem dependen (and someimes on-dependen) dingus, so

youll have o look i up.

Te brochure says, All sudens should . . . bring a video camera and a hare-brained

sandwich.

Te brochure guaranees, A ull reund is promised . . . .

End-of-Line Hyphenation

Because word processors and page-layou programs end o base hyphenaion

on an algorihm raher han he convenions o English word division, you migh

wan o urn o auomaic jusicaion and hyphenaion, or be especially vigilan

in double-checking or hyphenaion errors. emember ha dieren dicionaries

may break words in dieren places; all ediorial decisions o hese sors should bebased on he same dicionaryor me, Websers Elevenh Collegiae.

Exclamation Marks

In sandard business wriing, use an exclamaion mark only i i is par o quoed

maerial. Always ry o use emphaic words raher han emphaic puncuaion.

Fractions

Leave a space beween a whole number and a racion.

5 1/4 inches

Hyphens

wo words conneced by a hyphen are known as a compound. Compounds ypi-

cally evolve ino single words, such as posman or newspaper. Te correc usage

depends on he compounds sage o evoluion. In compuer erminology, he

rend is o eliminae hyphens and wrie a compound as a single word as soon as

popular usage indicaes i will become a permanen compound. Tus, words like



sandalone and umbledown huddle in a group raher han a arms lengh. See he

secion on compound words in Te Chicago Manual o Syle or a good discussion

on compounds.

Italics

Ialicize all book, magazine, or newsleter iles. Se words used as words and

leters used as leters in ialics; se numbers used as numbers in roman. Ialicizeoreign words unless hey are commonplace.

We had a quibble over exisenialism. He hough i mean a philosophical move-

men and I knew i mean hree aspirins.

Tas Smyhe, wih an e.

You should use ialics only sparingly or emphasis. ry o express he same one

hrough he srucure o he wriing. emember o always ialicize any puncua-

ion marks ha immediaely ollow an ialicized word.

Italics in All-Italic Text

I you need o emphasize words in all-ialics ex, se he emphasized word(s) in

roman ypeace.

Te healh care crisis was precipiaed by bad baloney and poliicians wih sligh

lispsdoes anyone care?

Numbers

Spell out numbers up to and including ten; use numerals for numbers above tenExcepions:

If a sentence must start with a number above ten, it should be spelled out (un-

less he number is a daewhich should always be writen as a numeral).

If a sentence includes numbers both below and above ten, either spell out or use

numerals consisenly or all o hem.

Always write out millions, billions and up (3 billion, 105 million, ec.).

Use numerals for times of day, and use periods: 11 a.m., 3:15 p.m.

Use midnight and noon instead of 12:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m., to avoid any

possible conusion.

For values of less than one dollar, use the cents sign: 2 for two cents.

Dollars, euros, pounds, yen, lira and other forms of currency are referred to in

lower-case; use he appropriae symbol where available (, , ec.).

Phone number style: (XXX) XXX-XXXX (Some designer types like XXX.XXX

XXXX)



40/55


40The Write Word

Numbers Used as Adjectives

Use a hyphen when a number is par o a compound adjecive preceding a noun.

a 10 1/2-foot sandwich

However, i he adjecive is no par o a compound, don hyphenae:

a sandwich of 10 1/2 feet

Parentheses

I you employ muliple parenheical houghs in a single senence, mos gram-

marians sugges ha you alernae beween brackes and parenheses, or even go

o he lengh o using curly brackes or he eriary use, bu he use o sandard

parenheical symbols hroughou is ne oo. Mos grammarians also say o sruc-

ure your senences so you don have o use a parenheical, bu I don lisen,

because mos grammarians are nebbishes. (Nyah, nyah! Come and ge me!)

Plurals

Acronyms and Abbreviaions

o orm he plural par o an acronym or abbreviaion, add an s bu no aposro-

phe.

ICs, RMs, OMs

Adjecives

Don add s o an adjecive unless necessary. For example, is elecronic circuibu

elecronics engineer. Oher words ha all ino his class o adjecives are graphicand graphics, communicaion and communicaions, numeric and numerics.

Leters, Characers, Symbols

o orm he plural o a leter, characer, or symbol, add an aposrophe and an s.

ps 6s, +s

Words as Words

Form he plural o a word ialicized o show ha i is used as a word by adding an

aposrophe and an s. Don ialicize he aposrophe or he s.

His senences had oo many qualicaions: los o bus.

Possessives

Form singular possessives o boh common and proper nouns by adding an apos-

rophe and an s. Form he possessive o plural nouns by adding an aposrophe

only.

Te cars exhaus



Te Macinoshs wink

Te persimmons leakage

Alhough here is conroversy among grammarians, mos agree ha you should

omi he s or singular possessives ha look and sound like plurals. So, i is awk-

ward o say he word wih an s aer he aposrophe, leave i o.

Jesus magnicence

Alhough is probably bes o avoid ha paricular usage and jus word he sae-

men dierenly:

Te magnicence o odney Dangerelds lower lip.

Is is possessive.Is is he conracion oi is.

Is no wonder Bobs ca is losing is mind.

Youris possessive. Youre is he conracion oyou are.

Youre misaken i you hink has where youre going o park your beas o a Lincoln.

Teiris possessive. Teyre is he conracion ohey are.Tere is where you are

when you ge here.

Teyre airing heir complains over here, a he cusomer service desk.

Prexes, Sufxes

You should generally use a closed syle (no hyphenaed) or prexes and sufxes.CheckTe Chicago Manual o Syle or elaboraion and examples.

gridlike

mulicolored

mulicompany

naionwide

nonechnical

preexising

reenry

Common excepions or prexes include all-, by-, cross-, ex-, hal-, sel-, and quasi-.

all-purpose

by-produc

cross-reerence

sel-condence



42/55


42The Write Word

Common excepions or sufxes include -cos, -size, -syle, -ype, and -wise.

low-cos alernaive

media-wise consumer

medium-size group

Quotation Marks

Te close quoe ollows he period a he end o a senence, even when a quoebegins mid-senence. Tis seems illogical, bu his is English, so jus do i. (You

like o be ordered abou, don you?) Tough hose Englishy English, he Bris, do

his quie he opposie.

Youre sill going o gh us on his, saying hings like, I don buy i.

Te close quoe, or a word ollowed by a comma, ollows he comma.

Te spreadshee columns on your screen should be Firs Quarer, Second Quarer,

and Tird Quarer.

Te close quoe, or a word or phrase ollowed by a colon or semicolon, precedes

he colon or semicolon.

He said, Ill call you; hen he le.

Single and Double Quoes

Use double quoaion marks or quoed words, phrases and senences. Only

use single quoes around a word, phrase or senence when i alls wihin quoes.

Again, Briish usage varies.Ten he said, You migh say youre income decien, bu I hink he governmen calls

i unemployed.

Block Syle

I you se o a quoaion in block syle, do no use quoaion marks. For quoes

wihin he block, use double quoes.

ick ogers, who reviewed he game, had only good hings o say:

Te graphics were superb, he sound eecs a blas, and he music inspir-

ing. As a mater o ac, I don hink Ive ever seen a game so consis-

enly superior across he board. Believe me, when you play Bloviaing

Cowboy, youll say, I love wha his game does o me. And youll be

addiced.

Smar vs. Sraigh Quoes

Use curly (IBM) or smar (Mac) quoes, raher han he "sraigh" ones. (Look

a he quoes around he words curly and sraigh o see he dierence.) In MS


43/55


44/55


44The Write Word

Paragraphs

Business correspondence should be single-spaced. Double-space beween para-

graphs only i you are no indening he rs line o he paragraph. You should

no do bohleave a space beween paragraphs and inden he rs line. In

lenghy business repors you can double-space he able o conens, ables, and

oher iems ha are much easier o read wih more space.

Headings

Don be imid wih headings in business leters, memos and repors. Tey usu-

ally improve your documen by making he organizaion very clear. You should

have a line space above a heading and, i you like, hal a line-space beween he

heading and he ollowing paragraph.

Symbols

Always spell ou percen in ormal body copy; don use he % sign. Use he

percen symbol in ables or gures only, and hen only when needed or space.

Always spell ou inches, ee, and degrees.

oves producs should be comorably in your ace 90 percen o your spare ime.

obers skull, hough only our inches in diameer, is lled wih anasic noions.

Tere are six degrees o separaion beween me and Beelzebub.

Time

Never use 12 noon or 12 midnighnoon and midnighare sufcien. And a.m.

andp.m. are always lowercase, wih periods and no spaces. Never use oclock.ime zones are only capialized when abbreviaed.

6:30 p.m.

7 p.m. (no 7:00 p.m.)

ES (bu easern sandard ime)

Preferred Words and TermsTe ollowing lis conains some useul examples o preerred words or phrases

and heir spellings, along wih heir varians, oen a wordier way o say he samedurn hing. In general, when he dicionary liss wo spellings, he rs is pre-

erred.

a lo no alo (a lois always wo words)

a period no a period o ime

abou no wih reerence o

abou no wih regard o

according o no depending on



aec no impac

aer no subsequen o

aerward no aerwards

aid, help, assis no aciliae

also, and no addiionally

alhough no despie he ac ha

and ohers no e al.

are no designed o be

because no due o he ac ha

beween you and me no beween you and I (wrong!)

beore no prior o

by, wih no by means o

by way o, hrough no via

carry ou no eecuae, execue

cenered on no cenered around

change no modicaion

dieren rom no dieren handimmed, unavailable no grayed

easy o use no ease o use

excep no wih he excepion o

ace no on

or no on behal o

or no he purpose o

gray no grey

i no in case

in summary no o summarize he above

inside no inside o

like no along he lines o

now no a he presen ime

occasionally no on a ew occasions

resemble no look somehing like, look similar

o

run no execue

since no in view o

so ha no wih he resul ha

speciy no deailsop, end no abor

ha is no i.e.

hen no aer his is accomplished

iled, named no eniled

o no in order o

oward no owards

underscore no underline



46/55


46The Write Word

use (noun) no uilizaion

use (verb) no uilize

wih no in conjuncion wih

A Final Bit of Biz About Adverbs and Adjectives

Speaking o syle, some o us in he crowd, and I won name names (hough heiniials om Benley come o mind) can someimes be a litle, how you say, ex-

pressive in our expressions. Tose voluble souls like o hear he rollicking sounds

o words sacked aop words, subordinae phrases linking arms wih comely

clauses, merry parenheicals doing he minue in he middle o a senence.

Well. Teres a ellow whose work I mighily admire, and has Mark wain. He

said, I you see an adverb, kill i. Tus, he mighily in ha senence above

should be wrihing on his page, is lieblood spilled. Old Sam is righ in he sense

ha i you have a senence like She wearily, heavily cas he bon-bon a his sim-pering ace, i eliminaes making a picure in a readers mind. I, insead you ried,

She sighed, raised her arm, and in slow moion lobbed a bon-bon a his ace,

here is boh more characer developmen in he senence, as well as a verb ha

inimaes a less-han-orceul hrow.

Wha you wan are your verbs o have he verve: you don need o accompany

a verb wih oppish oo soldiers i your verb carries is own sword. And your

clever eye probably also saw ha I lopped o he simpering (much as I love heword, sigh) rom he senence as well. Yep, excess adjecivizing pus ankle weighs

on your work as well. I know, I know, you LOVE your adverbs and adjecives.

Me oo. (And parenheses oo.) Jus be conscious o heir overuse, and perhaps

your reliance on hem o muscle your verbiage along. Tey can be quie abby in

pracice.

By he way, you can cerainly have your characers simper. Bu ake he challenge

o conveying heir coy ways in heir acions, no hrough bland descripion. I

know is ough. Ill ry i i you will.


47/55


48/55


48The Write Word

A Pockeful of General Usage Tips

Active and Passive

A is hear, wriing is abou people doing hings. Aciviy is ineresing. Where

you can, wrie senences wih subjecs ha are doing hings, and no subjecs ha

are simply receiving acions perormed upon hem. Compare hese wo senences

A sance will be held by he companys direcors nex week.

Te companys direcors will hold a sance nex week.

Te rs is an example o he passive voice; he second is he acive voice. Don be

pu o, is really very simple: he passive voice is where somehing or someone is

aced upon, and he acive voice has an acor, somebody or hing doing somehing

or anoher. Acive verbs and consrucion are inherenly more compelling and

dynamic han passive ones.

Acive voice: A does B.Passive voice: B is done (usually by A).

Te acive voice will help give your wriing some vialiy and lie. I can also make

a weak senence more emphaic and give i greaer impac. Compare hese exam-

ples. Te rs is in he passive, he second acive:

Tere were rios in several owns in Norhern England las nigh, in which police clashed

wih sone-hrowing youhs.

Youhs hrowing sones clashed wih police during rios in several owns in NorhernEngland las nigh.

Te here is, here are consrucions are overused. Why wase ime saing ha

somehing exiss when you could ge on wih i and describe he acion? Te

imagery in he second version is much more vivid and powerul and helps he

audience o visualize wha wen on.

And/Or

ewrie o avoid his consrucion. And/or else.

Danglers

Check ou hese palry pups:

I ound guily, he nancial wizard oversigh commitee could ne he wicked nancial

wizards.

Aer eaing my lunch, he waier engaged me in conversaion.

When rying o log on, he sysem rejecs my password.



Phrases a he beginning o a senence need a noun or a pronoun, and hey will

cling o he rs one ha comes along. Tis can make nonsense o your wriing. In

hese examples, he oversigh commitee is no a risk o being ound guily, he

waier did no ea my lunch, and he sysem is no rying o log on.

I your wriing causes conusion, so ha readers have o pause and check he parso your senence o work ou exacly wha you mean, you have los hem. Wrie

simply, wrie clearly, and i you mus use his kind o consrucion (called a dan-

gling modier), make sure ha he somehing o be modied is righ nex o he

phrase. Ten you will no wrie like his:Aer orbiing he aseroid or more han a

year, he mission scieniss decided o se he probe down on is surace.

Due To

No due o he ac ha. A phrase beginning wih due o mus uncion as a

subjec complemen; i canno uncion as an independen preposiional phrase.

(Hows ha or scolding?)

No: Due o your consan carping , your memories were shredded.

Yes: We shredded your memories due o your consan carping.

Listing and Itemizing

Use a lis o emphasize key poins and presen seps or insrucions. A lis saves

your readers ime by allowing hem o review a considerable amoun o inorma-

ion a a glance. Make your senence srucure parallel or all iems in a lis. Ta is,i you begin he rs bulle poin wih a verb, be sure and begin he ohers he same

way.

Provide a clear ransiion beween he inroducory ex and he lis. End he inro-

ducion wih a colon i i and he iems lised are incomplee senences. I he ex

in your lis is so long ha he concep can be grasped quickly, sar overor sick

o sraigh body copy.

Short Lists

When a lis consiss o words or phrases (ha is, no complee senences), you

don need o capialize he rs leter o each word, hough you should i your lis

is mainly phrases. Do no puncuae he lis: do no pu a period a he end o each

iem, or a he end o he las iem. (For such a simple lis, you don even need

numbers or bulles in ron, bu somehing oen looks beter han nohing.)

Chapter 6 Pocketful of Usage Tips


50/55


50The Write Word

For our ski rip, be sure o pack:

1. ood

2. skis and boos

3. chains

4. a map o how o ge here

5. ood

6. ski pans

7. urleneck sweaer

8. ood

9. eigh gallons o whiskey

Beore using SimWhaever, you should know how o:

Fill out a registration card

Use a mouse

Use menus and submenus Read (the manual is Shakespearean)

Click and drag

Bulleted Lists

ypically, bulleed liss ouline or summarize key ideas. Use incomplee senences

i he inroducory senence is incomplee, and keep he consrucion parallel. You

should have a leas wo, and preerably hree or more, iems o lis. A period a he

end o every line in a series o bulles is opional.

Here we underake he proposiion ha he fuicake will be he downall o civilizaion.

Youll undoubedly agree wih hese hypoheses:

Benedict Arnold was known to send uitcakes at the holidays.

Even Jack Daniels tastes bad with uitcake.

Fruitcakes have no documented spiritual life.

A uitcake couldnt possibly save you om drowning.

Numbered Lists

Use numbered liss or sequenial liss in sep-by-sep insrucions. When wriinginsrucions, use imperaives (commands or orders, or example, open his, say

ha, wrie his) o insruc he user o perorm asks. Use ransiion words o mark

ime and sequence. And use shor senences and brie paragraphs o keep your

poins clear and sraighorward.

1. Open he le by double-clicking on i.

2. I ha ails, call sweely o he le in a melodious voice.

3. I he le sill won open, grasp i rmly wih wo hands and ear.



Deniion Liss

When you are dening specic erms or relaionships in a abular (or columnar)

orma, use a deniion lis. In oher words, you ener he name o he erm, hen

dene or elaborae on i.

Save Buton Saves seleced species fom environmenal desrucion.

ave Buton Plays hours o achycardiac music accompanied by srobe lighs. Knave Buton Causes every characer in he game o behave like New Gingrich.

Pronouns

ry o avoid gender wars by subsiuing you or one or he or she. Use boh he

or his and she or her; omi he pronoun; or change a singular reerence o plural.

Tere is some conenion, bu major reerence works, such as he Oxord English

Dicionary, and prevalen usage, accep he use o a plural pronoun o reer o a

singular subjec. Avoid he he/she consrucion.

No: Everyone wih a pe marmo should begin cleaning his or her pe now.

Yes: All hose wih a pe marmo should begin cleaning heir pes now.

There Is, There Are

As menioned, avoid using here is or here are o begin senences. Wih pracice

you can ge ino he habi o nding beter consrucions.

No: Tere are dancing hard drives on order.

Yes: Dancing hard drives are on order.

Tink in erms odoingraher han beingha old acive/passive:

No: Tere were no illusraions nor ho udge sundaes in our documenaion.

Yes: Our documenaion lacked illusraions and sundaes.

Writing Clearly

Below are some basic suggesions or wriing eecively. O course he require-

mens o orma, one and message dier according o audience and inenion.

A business leter writen o a clien would vary grealy in one rom maerial in

websie conen, which can occasionally be seen o exhibi he dreaded creaive

wriing, wih all o is pialls and persuasions. Every ype o wriing, however,

mus adhere o some shared sandards o communicaion. I originally wroe a lo

o his guide in regards o wriing soware documenaion, bu mos o i applies

o wriing in general.

Tere are many reerence works o help you shape your wriing syle: Karen

Gordons puncuaion and grammar epics: Te New Well-empered Senence and



52/55


52The Write Word

Te New ransiive Vampire, Srunk and W hies classic Te Elemens o Syle,

William Zinssers On Wriing Well,Te Merriam Webser Dicionary o English

Usage, anyhing Mark wain ever wroe. (Oops! Am I beginning o display some

prejudices?) You may noice ha some o hese auhors occasionally violae he

suggesions or simple senence consrucion. Hey, heyre proessionals! Heres

how o begin:

Avoid using qualiers. Words like raher, litle, very, prety, and quie weaken

an argumen. ry no o use oally, compleely, or absoluely as superlaives. For

example:

Michael is like he oally bichin boss.

Gives no more inormaion han

Michael is a grea boss. (Did you see his one, Michael?)

Sexist Language (also see Pronouns above)

We have a language difculy: is lack o a singular pronoun o reer o a mixed

group or o an individual whose sex is no known o us a he ime we wrie.

Working wih wha we have and perhaps riding he edge o accepabiliy

which is oen how our language evolveshere are he ollowing opions. I

you can deermine your readers level o sensiiviy on he he or she issue, do

so, and wrie wih ha in mind.

If the reference will be made only once, you can gracefully (?) sayhe or she or

him or her. oo much o his consrucion, hough, deracs rom your message

as your reader busily sis hrough all he people youre alking abou (and rying

no o oend).

You can make the reference plural, avoiding the problem altogether.

Players can design heir ciy he way hey like.

Insead o

Each player can design his or her ciy he way he or she likes.

An ungraceful alternative that should be used only when you know the mes-

sage will no be read aloud is he/she, his/her, and him/her. Don use s/he. Isugly. In ac, all o hem are ugly.

If you can nd out the sex of the person your pronoun is referring to, do so,

and hen choose he appropriae pronoun.

Some readers of both gender still nd him and he perecly accepable as com-

mon gender. Use hem only i you are cerain you will no oend.

A change that is currently happening is that hey, heirand hem are someimes

used in he singular.

Each person should look a heir manual.



Te ransiion may ake a while, i i akes a allhe curren syle books now

have conicing inormaion on he subjec. Tereore, unless you wan o risk

your reader(s) hinking you don know your grammar, you should ry o sick wih

radiion unil he accepabiliy o a new syle is widespread. So, subsiue she or

he when he is being used as a common gender pronoun. Change is good.

You can generally avoid gender wars by using more creaive vocabulary or bychanging man operson. For example,

Use Insead o

operaor-hours, sa hours manhours

no one no man

salesperson salesman

synheic manmade

humaniy mankind

mail carrier posmanvenereal scourge man abou own

Summaries

In mos documen insances, avoid ormal summaries (hough some documens,

like whiepapers, employ hem as a sandard). Don sar ou by summarizing

wha you inend o say:

Tis secion will describe human beings in deail. I will discuss he many oibles and

peculiariies o hese beings, including heir penchan or cold pizza in he morning. I

will conclude wih an analysis o he purpose o hese beings writen ou as an epic poem,

in he syle oGilgamesh.

I your srucure is so poor ha i requires a road map, sar over. And excep or

long or complicaed essays, don recapiulae your poins a he end.

A general summary, as a chaper inroducion or overview, however, can be help-

ul, especially in raining maerials and deailed documenaion. Enumeraing

main opics in a bulleed lis is a ready means o convey broad spans o inorma-ion. (In an essay, however, circling back o your iniial heme is oen he bes

means o give he wriing resonance.)

In his secion, well discuss he Google plan o dominae he world. Specically, well

cover:

How Google soware will be found in all breakfast products.

Te secret integration of the word Google into every bill in Congress.

Sergey Brins image found on Mt. Rushmore.



54/55


54The Write Word

Use simple, acive senences (I jus won sop hammering, will I?). Te acive

voice is sronger, more direc, and more concise han he passive voice. (How-

ever, here are insances where he use o he passive voice is he proper choice.)

No: A hammer shouldn be used o insall he soware.

Yes: You shouldn use a hammer o insall he soware.

I you have rouble geting sared on a wriing projec, or eel compelled o wrieconvolued legalese, sop. ake a deep breah. Say wha you mean ou loud, or i

your cube comrade or your ca migh be alarmed, say i aloud o yoursel. Ten

wrie i down. Te resul will mos likely be shor, simple senences ha ge your

poin across.

Verb Forms

Don creae verbs rom nouns. No mater how much you migh have admired Al-

exander Haig (remember?) and neo-verbiers like him, is an unorgivable rai.

An acion phrase on a menu may be very descripive, bu resis he urge o urn i

ino a verb. Adding do o he phrase doesn help.

No: You can do a search-and-replace on he documen.

Yes: Use he Search and eplace opion o nd and correc misspelled words.

Wrie or one reader. Keep all reerences o he user in he second person (you)

raher han hird (he or she). Consruc senences so ha people eel in conrol

o he programs, no he oher way around.

No: Te disks shouldn be labeled wih banana peels.No: Users shouldn labels disks wih banana peels.

Yes: You shouldn label disks wih banana peels, silly.

Summing I UpHey, how can anyone sum up language and is merry pursuis? Is a rollicking,

roiling living hing, and no mater how many parenheses you use, youll never

quie corral i. Do he bes you can. So, insead o a summary, Ill end his wih ajoke:

A comma, a period and a semicolon walk ino a bar ...

Oh wai! I can nish he joke; I orge how is puncuaed.

PS By he way, I know ha someone will deligh in nding a ypo or some

mangled consrucion in his doc. Enjoy he vicory!


55/55


Tis ebook is complimens oTe Wrie Word, a ull-service wriingand ediing shop, where verbs, nouns, adjecives, adverbs and all heirboon companions are properly shelved, waered and groomed. Id loveo lend a handin ac, boh o hemo make he power o wordswork or your business.

Please visi htp://www.ombenley.com o see our oher producs, ser-vices, speculaions on wriing and oher dark ars. Teres even a novelor sale, i your ases dri oward works ha leave business ineress inhe ofce where hey belong. Or, please drop me a line [email protected].

Te Wrie Word invies you o disseminae his ebook ar and wide, inwhaever dimension youre mos comorable in, erresrial or oher-wise. Please don aler is conens.

Tanks, om Benley

(And may your senencesalways be sirring, noshaking.)

See my sie or oherfee ebooks on ergonomics or wriers and also

how o setle ha pesierous debae, Creaive or Commercial, once and