THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE.doc

8/12/2019 THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE.doc

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THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

Stephen R. Covey

Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques,that lubricate the processes of human interaction. This personality ethic essentially took two paths: one washuman and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (P!". Some of this

philosophy was e#pressed in inspiring and sometimes valid ma#ims such as $%our attitude determines youraltitude,$ $Smiling wins more friends than frowning,$ and $&hatever the mind of man can conceive and believeit can achieve.

'n the words of Thoreau, $or every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking atthe root.$ &e can only achieve quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves ofattitude and behavior and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and

behaviors flow.

"Habit" !eine#

or our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. )nowledge is thetheoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. !nd desire is the motivation, the want to

do. 'n order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.

The $at%&ity Contin%%' T$

The Seven *abits are not a set of separate or piecemeal psyche+up formulas. 'n harmony with the natural laws ofgrowth, they provide an incremental, sequential, highly integrated approach to the development of personal andinterpersonal effectiveness. They move us progressively on a aturity ontinuum from dependence tointerdependence.&e each begin life as an infant, totally dependent on others. &e are directed, nurtured, and sustained by others.&ithout this nurturing, we would only live for a few hours or a few days at the most.Then gradually, over the ensuing months and years, we become more and more independent ++ physically,

mentally, emotionally, and financially ++ until eventually we can essentially take care of ourselves, becominginner+directed and self+reliant.!s we continue to grow and mature, we become increasingly aware that all of nature is interdependent, that thereis an ecological system that governs nature, including society. &e further discover that the higher reaches of ournature have to do with our relationships with others - that human life also is interdependent.ur growth from infancy to adulthood is in accordance with natural law. !nd there are many dimensions togrowth. /eaching our full physical maturity, for e#ample, does not necessarily assure us of simultaneousemotional or mental maturity. n the other hand, a person0s physical dependence does not mean that he or she ismentally or emotionally immature.n the maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you ++ you take care of me1 you come through for me1you didn0t come through1 ' blame you for the results.

'ndependence is the paradigm of ' ++ ' can do it1 ' am responsible1 ' am self+reliant1 ' can choose.'nterdependence is the paradigm of we ++ we can do it: we can cooperate1 we can combine our talents andabilities and create something greater together.2ependent people need others to get what they want. 'ndependent people can get what they want through theirown effort. 'nterdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatestsuccess.'f ' were physically dependent ++ paraly3ed or disabled or limited in some physical way ++ ' would need you tohelp me. 'f ' were emotionally dependent, my sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me.'f you didn0t like me, it could be devastating. 'f ' were intellectually dependent, ' would count on you to do mythinking for me, to think through the issues and problems of my life.'f ' were independent, physically, ' could pretty well make it on my own. entally, ' could think my ownthoughts, ' could move from one level of abstraction to another. ' could think creatively and analytically andorgani3e and e#press my thoughts in understandable ways. 4motionally, ' would be validated from within. 'would be inner directed. y sense of worth would not be a function of being liked or treated well.'t0s easy to see that independence is much more mature than dependence. 'ndependence is a ma5or achievementin and of itself. 6ut independence is not supreme. 7evertheless, the current social paradigm enthrones


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independence. 't is the avowed goal of many individuals and social movements. ost of the self+improvementmaterial puts independence on a pedestal, as though communication, teamwork, and cooperation were lesservalues.

7evertheless, the current social paradigm enthrones independence. 't is the avowed goal of many individuals andsocial movements. ost of the self+improvement material puts independence on a pedestal, as thoughcommunication, teamwork, and cooperation were lesser values.6ut much of our current emphasis on independence is a reaction to dependence ++ to having others control us,define us, use us, and manipulate us.The little understood concept of interdependence appears to many to smack of dependence, and therefore, we

find people often for selfish reasons, leaving their marriages, abandoning their children, and forsaking all kindsof social responsibility ++ all in the name of independence.The kind of reaction that results in people $throwing off their shackles,$ becoming $liberated,$ $assertingthemselves,$ and $doing their own thing$ often reveals more fundamental dependencies that cannot be run awayfrom because they are internal rather than e#ternal ++ dependencies such as letting the weaknesses of other peopleruin our emotional lives or feeling victimi3ed by people and events outof our control.f course, we may need to change our circumstances. 6ut the dependence problem is a personal maturity issuethat has little to do with circumstances. 4ven with better circumstances, immaturity and dependence often persist.True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. 't frees us from our dependence on

circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. 6ut it is not the ultimate goal in effective living.'ndependent thinking alone is not suited to interdependent reality. 'ndependent people who do not have thematurity to think and act interdependently may be good individual producers, but they won0t be good leaders orteam players. They0re not coming from the paradigm of interdependencenecessary to succeed in marriage, family, or organi3ational reality.8ife is, by nature, highly interdependent. To try to achieve ma#imum effectiveness through independence is liketrying to play tennis with a golf club ++ the tool is not suited to the reality.'nterdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept. 'f ' am physically interdependent, ' am self+reliant and capable, but ' also reali3e that you and ' working together can accomplish far more than, even at my

best, ' could accomplish alone. 'f ' am emotionally interdependent, ' derive a great sense of worth within myself,but ' also recogni3e the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love

from others. 'f ' am intellectually interdependent, ' reali3e that ' need the best thinking of other people to 5oinwith my own.!s an interdependent person, ' have the opportunity to share myself deeply, meaningfully, with others, and ' haveaccess to the vast resources and potential of other human beings.'nterdependence is a choice only independent people can make. 2ependent people cannot choose to becomeinterdependent. They don0t have the character to do it1 they don0t own enough of themselves.That0s why *abits 9, , and ; in the following chapters deal with self+mastery. They move a person fromdependence to independence. They are the $Private


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and also their synergy ++ how, in relating to each other, they create bold new forms of each other that add evenmore to their value. 4ach concept or habit will be highlighted as it is introduced.changeless. !s you open yourself to the ne#t three habits ++ the habits of Public


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responding in a proactive manner. /emind yourself of the gap between stimulus and response. ake acommitment to yourself to e#ercise your freedom to choose.;. Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. 2etermine whether it is a direct,indirect, or no control problem. 'dentify the first step you can take in your ircle of 'nfluence to solve it and thentake that step.=. Try the ;C+day test of proactivity. 6e aware of the change in your ircle of 'nfluence.

3. HABIT 3* BEGIN 4ITH THE EN! IN $IN! T$

the most fundamental application of $6egin with the 4nd in ind$ is to begin today with the image,

picture, or paradigm ofthe end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is e#amined.4ach part of your life ++ today0s behavior, tomorrow0s behavior, ne#t week0s behavior, ne#t month0s

behavior ++ can be e#amined in the conte#t of the whole, of what really matters most to you. 6ykeeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular daydoes not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important, and that each day of your lifecontributes in a meaningful way to the vision you have of your life as a whole.

$6egin with the 4nd in ind$ is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There0s a

mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.

6ecause ' am self+aware, because ' have imagination and conscience, ' can e#amine my deepest

values. ' can reali3e that the script '0m living is not in harmony with those values, that my life is notthe product of my own proactive design, but the result of the first creation ' have deferred tocircumstances and other people. !nd ' can change. ' can live out of my imagination instead of mymemory. ' can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limiting past. ' can become my own first creator.

Then as the vicissitudes, as the challenges come, ' can make my decisions based on those values. ' can act withintegrity. ' don0t have to react to the emotion, the circumstance. ' can be truly proactive, value driven, because myva+%eare clear.

At the Cente&

&hatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power. Securityrepresents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self+esteem, your basic personalstrength or lack of it.Buidance means your source of direction in life. 4ncompassed by your map, your internal frame of reference thatinterprets for you what is happening out there, are standards or principles or implicit criteria that govern moment+

by+moment decision+making and doing.

&isdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts andprinciples apply and relate to each other. 't embraces 5udgment, discernment, comprehension. 't is a gestalt oroneness, an integrated wholeness.Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something. 't is the vital energy tomake choices and decisions. 't also includes the capacity to overcome deeply embedded habits and to cultivatehigher, more effective ones.These four factors ++ security, guidance, wisdom, and power ++ are interdependent. Security and clear guidance

bring true wisdom, and wisdom becomes the spark or catalyst to release and direct power. &hen these fourfactors are present together, harmoni3ed and enlivened by each other, they create the great force of a noble

personality, a balanced character, a beautifully integrated individual.

I yo% a&e Se+,Cente&e#...

S4@/'T%%our security is constantly changing and shifting.B@'2!74%our 5udgment criteria are: $'f it feels good...$ $&hat ' want.$ $&hat ' need.$ $&hat0s in it for meD


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&'S2%ou view the world by how decisions, events, or circumstances will affect you.P&4/%our ability to act is limited to your own resources, without the benefits of interdependency. !s a person fluctuates from one center to another, the resulting relativism is like roller coastingthrough life. ne moment you0re high, the ne#t moment you0re low, making efforts to compensate for oneweakness by borrowing strength from another weakness. There is no consistent sense of direction, no persistentwisdom, no steady power supply or sense of personal, intrinsic worth and identity.

The ideal, of course, is to create one clear center from which you consistently derive a high degree of

security, guidance, wisdom, and power, empowering your proactivity and giving congruency and harmonyto every part of your life.

4&itin/ an# 5in/ a A Pe&ona+ $iion State'ent

! mission statement is not something you write overnight. 't takes deep introspection, careful analysis,thoughtful e#pression, and often many rewrites to produce it in final form.

HABIT 1* P5T FIRST THINGS FIRST T$ ,, PRINCIPLES OF PERSONAL $ANAGE$ENT

&ill you take 5ust a moment and write down a short answer to the following two questionsD %our answers will

be important to you as you begin work on *abit ;.Euestion 9: &hat one thing could you do (you aren0t doing now" that if you did on a regular basis, wouldmake a tremendous positive difference in your personal lifeD

Euestion : &hat one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar resultsD &e0ll comeback to these answers later. 6ut first, let0s put *abit ; in perspective*abit ; is the personal fruit, the practical fulfillment of *abits 9 and .

*abit 9 says, $%ou0re the creator. %ou are in charge.$ 't0s based on the four unique humanendowments of imagination, conscience, independent will, and particularly, self+awareness. 't empowersyou to say, $That0s an unhealthy program '0ve been given from my childhood, from my social mirror. ' don0tlike that ineffective script. ' can change.$

*abit is the first or mental creation. 't0s based on imagination ++ the ability to envision, to see the

potential, to create with our minds what we cannot at present see without eyes1 and conscience - the ability todetect our own uniqueness and the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which we can most happilyfulfill it. 't0s the deep contact with our basic paradigms and values and the vision ofwhat we can become.

*abit ;, then, is the second creation ++ the physical creation. 't0s the fulfillment, the actuali3ation, thenatural emergence of *abits 9 and . 't0s the e#ercise of independent will toward becoming principle+centered. 't0s the day+in, day+out, moment+by+moment doing it.

*abits 9 and are absolutely essential and prerequisite to *abit ;. %ou can0t become principle+centered without first being aware of and developing your own proactive nature. %ou can0t become principle+centered without first being aware of your paradigms and understanding how to shift them and align them with

principles. %ou can0t become principle+centered without a vision of and a focus on the unique contribution that

is yours to make.6ut with that foundation, you can become principle+centered, day+in and day+out,

moment+by+moment, by living *abit ; ++ by practicing effective self+management.

The Po-e& o In#epen#ent 4i++

'n addition to self+awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment ++independent will ++ that really makes effective self+management possible. 't is the ability to makedecisions and choices and to act in accordance with them. 't is the ability to act rather than to be acted upon, to

proactively carry out the program we have developed through the other three endowments.

2iscipline derives from disciple ++ disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set ofvalues, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal.

'n other words, if you are an effective manager of your self, your discipline comes from within1 it is afunction of your independent will. %ou are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source.!nd you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods.


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Livin/ It

/eturning once more to the computer metaphor, if *abit 9 says $%ou0re the programmer$ and *abit says$&rite the program,$ then *abit ; says $/un the program,$ $8ive the program.$ !nd living it is primarily afunction of our independent will, our self+discipline, our integrity, and commitment ++ not to short+term goals andschedules or to the impulse of the moment, but to the correct principles and our own deepest values, which givemeaning and conte#t to our goals, our schedules, and our lives. to those values.

The 4i++po-e& Intin(t

by 0e++y $(Goni/a+6 Ph!

FThe biggest enemies of willpower: temptation, self+criticism, and stress. (..." these three skills Gself+

awareness, self+care, and remembering what matter mostG are the foundation for self+control.H

FThe is a secret for greater self+control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention.H

F&hen your mind is preoccupied, your impulsesGnot your long+term goalsGwill guide your choices.H

F*ereIs how to get started: 9. Sit still and stay put . Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, or sit

cross+legged on a cushion. Sit up straight and rest your hands in your lap. 'tIs important not to fidgetwhen you meditateGthatIs the physical foundation of self+control. 'f you notice the instinct to scratch anitch, ad5ust your arms, or cross and uncross your legs, see if you can feel the urge but not follow it. Thissimple act of staying still is part of what makes meditation willpower training effective. %ouIre learningnot to automatically follow every single impulse that your brain and body produce. . Turn your attentionto the breath. lose your eyes or, if you are worried about falling asleep, focus your ga3e at a single spot(like a blank wall, not the *ome Shopping 7etwork". 6egin to notice your breathing. Silently say in yourmind FinhaleH as you breathe in and Fe#haleH as you breathe out. &hen you notice your mind wandering(and it will", 5ust bring it back to the breath. This practice of coming back to the breath, again and again,kicks the prefrontal corte# into high gear and quiets the stress and craving centers of your brain . ;.

7otice how it feels to breathe, and notice how the mind wanders. !fter a few minutes, drop the labels

FinhaleJe#hale.H Try focusing on 5ust the feeling of breathing. %ou might notice the sensations of thebreath flowing in and out of your nose and mouth. %ou might sense the belly or chest e#panding as youbreathe in, and deflating as you breathe out. %our mind might wander a bit more without the labeling. Kustas before, when you notice yourself thinking about something else, bring your attention back to the

breath. 'f you need help refocusing, bring yourself back to the breath by saying FinhaleH and Fe#haleH fora few rounds. This part of the practice trains self+awareness along with self+control. Start with fiveminutes a day. &hen this becomes a habit, try ten to fifteen minutes a day. 'f that starts to feel like a

burden, bring it back down to five. ! short practice that you do every day is better than a long practiceyou keep putting off to tomorrow. 't may help you to pick a specific time that you will meditate everyday, like right before your morning shower. 'f this is impossible, staying fle#ible will help you fit it inwhen you can.H

FThe development of willpower +' will, ' won0t and ' want+ may define what it means to be human.H

Feditation is not about getting rid of all your thoughts1 itIs learning not to get so lost in them that you

forget what your goal is. 2onIt worry if your focus isnIt perfect when meditating. Kust practice comingback to the breath, again and again.HFL...Mwhile we all have the capacity to do harder things, we also have the desire to do e#actly theopposite.H

FThough our survival system doesnIt always work to our advantage, it is a mistake to think we should

conquer the primitive self completely.HF/esearch shows that people who think they have the most willpower are actually the most likely to losecontrol when tempted.9 or e#ample, smokers who are the most optimistic about their ability to resist

temptation are the most likely to relapse four months later, and overoptimistic dieters are the least likelyto lose weight. &hyD They fail to predict when, where, and why they will give in. They e#posethemselves to more temptation,H


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Tab+e o Content*

Int&o#%(tion

&eek ne: ' will, ' wonIt, ' want: &hat &illpower 's, and &hy it atters&eek Two: The &illpower 'nstinct: %our 6ody &as 6orn to /esist heesecake&eek Three: Too Tired to /esist: &hy Selfontrol is 8ike a uscle

7ote before starting: The book suggests picking out a certain willpower challenge to work on as you readthrough it. 'f you want to follow along with these notes, ' think it would be best to do the same. Think ofsomething you want to improve on that requires willpower, and make that your self improvement pro5ect. !sdetailed below these can be F' willH, F' wonItH, or the more comple# F'wantH challenges. ine will be running and waking up early. !nyway, enough from meN

Int&o#%(tion

O This book is based on a Stanford class lass has been very successful in the past, even involved in court orders at timesO People cite lack of &illpower (&P" as one of the Q9 things holding them back

O This book combines scientific research with the insights of students in the classO To succeed at self control (S" you need to learn how to fail The best way to improve self control is to seeJunderstand why you lose controlO 6eing overly optimistic is bad %ou canIt see your own flaws and predict times of difficulty TrueJ*onest self knowledge is the foundation of good self controlO Therefore, the book looks at the common SJ&P failures !utopsies them R inds ways to resistO Struggles with &P are part of the human conditionO *ow to use this book: 6ecome a &P scientist Study yourself as you read

8ots of self e#amination and reflection will be needed 7ot every strategy will work for you ind challenges to actually test the theories on O There are types of challenges (with a bonus ;rd" ' will challenges 2oing things that you normally put offJignoreO eg: studying early, running ' wonIt challenges /efraining from negative activityO eg:dieting, not overspending ' want challenges uch more complicated, so probably best to leave alone for right now

O Pick a more comple# goal, work towards it &ill involves willsJwonItsO Take your timeN %ou could read the book quickly ThatIs ok *owever, the pacing is based on the original course 9 week per chapter is the best pace

4ee One* I -i++6 I -on7t6 I -ant* 4hat 4i++po-e& I6

an# 4hy it $atte&

O 'ntroduction ' will and ' wonIt are the two sides of self control *owever, you need a ;rd thing beyond willJwonIt power %ou have to know what you really wantO !nd it isnIt a brownie


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' want power is also critical Therefore &P is really ; sided ortunately, we have these ; powersO &hy we have &P undamentally, &P was critical to healthy tribal dynamics 2onIt steal food, mates, be too aggressive, etc. !s the world and society became more comple# the demands of &P grewO &hy it matters now &P distinguishes people

Strong &P Bood life Statistically, &P is one of the best (if not best" determinants of success *igh &P better leaders, better marriages, everythingO The 7euroscience of ' will, ' wonIt, and ' want &P stems from the prefrontal corte# @sed to control voluntary physical movement *as grown massively in humans 7ow also in charge of willpower 6iases you to do the harder thingO 'n charge of ' willJwonItJwant

$i(&o(ope*Thin o yo%& (ha++en/e. 4hat i the hae& thin/8 4hy i it ha Ho- #o yo% ee+ -hen yo%

thin abo%t it8

O ! ind6lowing ase of &P 8ost So what happens when you lose the prefrontal corte#D Phineas Bage &as described as a man of iron will *owever, suffered a construction accident which destroyed his prefrontalcorte# 8ost all &P

O ompletely incapable of e#ercising &P Truly changed him as a man ertain states mimic brain damage in the prefrontal corte# 6eing drunk, sleep deprived, highly distractedO 4ach diminishes activity in the prefrontal corte# which in turndiminishes &P *owever, even if your prefrontal corte# is running at 9CCU... you arenIt out of thewoodsO The Problem of Two inds The system of self control was put on top of old systems, it didnIt actually replacethem

&e still have all of our ancient cravingsJimpulses &e have impulse and impulse control !lmost like having two mindsJselves

$i(&o(ope* $eet Yo%& T-o $in#

Thin o yo%& (ha++en/e6 -hat #o the t-o pa&t o yo%& 'in# -ant8 Coni#e& na'in/ Yo%& i'p%+ive e+

an# i'p%+e (ont&o+ e+. Thi -i++ he+p yo% i#entiy the' 'o&e eai+y6 an# 'ae /&app+in/ -ith thei&

(o'petin/ #&ive a +e '%##ie#9(on%in/ p&o(e

O The


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an know how we will react to situations ahead of time Self awareness lets you recogni3e when you need &P This is important because most decisions stem from habit, so awareness lets usavoid that when necessary 2istraction really hurts &P for this reason %ou lose your self awareness when distracted Stanford marketing e#periment:O >CU more likely to choose chocolate over fruit when rememberinga phone number

2onIt be distracted when using &PN

E:pe&i'ent* T&a( 4i++po-e& Choi(e

T&a( eve&y in/+e one o yo%& 4P (hoi(e o& a #ay. Be %&e to +oo o& the %bt+e one a -e++; Thi

t&a(in/ -i++ p&event yo% &o' be(o'in/ #it&a(te#. $ae a note o thoe #e(iion -hi(h he+pe# o&

%n#e&'ine# yo%& /oa+. Thi i i'po&tant be(a%e the i&t tep i to t&a( -hat a&e (a%in/ the i'p%+e

that %n#e&'ine yo%& /oa+. Lea&n the (%e an# -he&e they (o'e &o'.

O Train your brain for &P The brain physically changes based on e#periences

%ou can train &P physically The best way to train &P is... editation editation increases the concentration of gray matter in the prefrontalcorte# over timeO 'mproves physical &P capacity So, 5ust do it.

E:pe&i'ent* $e#itate

B&eath o(% i a i'p+e an# po-e&%+ 'e#itation te(hni. ! short practice every day is much better than a long practice everyonce in awhile.

O 6eing bad at meditation is good for self control &hen you are bad at meditation your mind will wander ! 8T That skill translates directly into &P

%ou notice you are off goal and then redirect Practice getting back to the breath This refocusing is almost like lifting a weight for your P corte# So donIt be worried when you struggle The struggle is what will improve your &P


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O The 8ast &ord &P is a battle between our two selves To win the battle, you need self awareness and self control

4ee T-o* The 4i++po-e& Intin(t* Yo%& Bo#y 4a

Bo&n to Reit Cheee(ae

O 'ntroduction 'magine you are walking past a delicious cheesecake (or substitute whatever your

poison of choice is"

6, /!


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$i(&o(ope* 4hat i the th&eat8

2irect quote: F&eIre used to seeing temptation and trouble outside of ourselves: the dangerous doughnut, thesinful cigarette, the enticing internet. 6ut selfcontrol points the mirror back at ourselves, and our inner world ofthoughts, desires, emotions, and impulses. or your willpower challenge, identify the inner impulse that needs to

be restrained. &hat is the thought or feeling that makes you want to do whatever it is you donIt really want todoD 'f you arenIt sure, try some field observation. 7e#t time youIre tempted, turn your attention inward.

O The &illpower 'nstinct: Pause and Plan &illpower has a biological signature

'tIs like the fight or flight response, but very different @nlike o, it is triggered by internal conflictJthreats 'n a nutshell, it slows your mind downO This is %our 6rain and 6ody on &illpower Pause and plan (PVP" onitoring system dispersed throughout brain and connected to prefrontal corte# onstantly monitors thoughts, emotion, and stimulus 'f sees things that suggest break with longer term goals, system isactivatedO Prefrontal corte# is stimulated

O 4nergy is redirected from the body to the brain *eart slows 6reathing deepens uscles loosenO !ll these things physiologically prime you to e#ercise willpower This system is innate to all people, 5ust like fight or flight, but it doesnIt always feellike that 't is also a much newer systemO The 6odyIs &illpower /eserve Studies have shown that the best predictor of the strength of someoneIs PVPresponse is their heart rate variability

4ssentially, everyoneIs heart rate tends to vary from moment to moment These are small but safe fluctuations The greater the variability, the greater the willpower The sympathetic nervous system stimulates and FrevsH the body This increases heart rate and decreases variability The parasympathetic nervous system puts the breaks on This decreases heart rate and increases variability Stress R Sympathetic nervous system R low variability Self control R Parasympathetic nervous system R high variability &hen people use &P, their variability goesup So what actually causes high variabilityD

Bood food, rest, meditation, low pollution, etc. all improve variability 6asically, avoid stress to improve variabilityO ! calm mind is a &P mind

E:pe&i'ent* B&eathe Yo%& 4ay to Se+ Cont&o+

This is a FquickH fi# that will help give you the edge in your &P struggles. 2onIt think that this alone will be acure all, but it will help physically. &hen facing a &P challenge, slow your breathing to =? breaths per minute.This activates the parasympathetic nervous system,increases heart variability, and in the end will give you a &P boost. 'f you can get yourself to

breath this slowly naturally, that means more &P all the time.

O Train %our ind and 6ody &hat follows are two strategies that will give you absolutely the most bang foryour buck in regards to improving &P !lso they will help with general health and happinessO The &illpower iracle


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egan aten and )en heng conducted a study on a technique for improving&P !t the end of the treatment here is what happened to the sub5ects:O 'mproved attention spanO 'mproved ability to tune out distractionO 8ess smoking, drinking, and caffeineO 8ess 5unk food, more healthy foodO 8ess televisionO ore studying

O Saving more money, fewer impulse purchasesO ore in control of emotionsO 8ess procrastination, and better at being on time So, what was this miracle drugD Physical e#ercise. 4#ercise helps in pretty much every aspect of your life 't is the closest thing to a &P wonder drug we have *eart variability shoots ups with fitness ore gray and white matter throughout the brainO ost increases in the prefrontal corte#

'n some cases as powerful as pro3ac for depression So, how much do you need to doD *ow much are you willing to doDO 7o point in setting a goal that you will abandon in a week 4ven > minutes can help So, what kind of e#ercise is bestD The kind you will actually stick toO The body and brain donIt really discriminate, so do whatever youare most willing to do

4i++po-e& E:pe&i'ent* The Five $in%te G&een 4i++po-e& Fi++5p

eeling like you need a quick dose of more &PD Bet outside for 5ust five minutes and move around. This will

help give you a quick willpower FfillupH. 'f that outside is green space, theeffect is greater. 't doesnIt have to be a mega workout. *ere are some e#amples:

O Bet out of the office and head for the closest greeneryO ue up your favorite song on your iPod and walk or 5og around the block.O Take your dog outside to play (and chase the toy yourself"O 2o a bit of work in your yard or gardenO Step outside for some fresh air and do some stretchesO hallenge your kids to a race or game in the backyard'n the long run, e#ercise will give you much more energy and power than it takes away.

O Bain &illpower in %our Sleep 'f you are surviving on less than ? hours of sleep a night, you probably donIt evenknow what it is like to operate with full &P Sleep deprivation absolutely murders &P @nder ? hours chronically is really bad Sleep deprivation 'mpairs the brainIs ability to use glucoseO Triggers sugar or caffeine cravings 6ut even if you eat it, the craving will persist because the

brain canIt actually use the glucose in the blood efficiently *its the prefrontal corte# harder than anything else, as it is the most

energy intensive part of the brainO linically called Fild prefrontal dysfunctionH &ith an impaired prefrontal corte#, all of your brain regulation begins to falterO !larm system and fight or flight are no longer kept properly in check


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O rdinary stress will trigger fight or flight, and you will be stuck in a permanent physiological mild fight orflight response ortunately, all of this is easily reversable Kust sleep moreN

E:pe&i'ent* ==============

The best is obviously W hours a night, but that isnIt alway possible. ! single good night can help reverse multiplebad ones, so if you are busy during the week catch up on the weekend. Some studies suggest you can build up areserve, so consider oversleeping if you know you are about to enter a hard stretch. inally, naps can do wonders

by breaking up consecutive waking hours. So the best is to actually get W hours, but if that fails consider catch up,stocking up, or napping.'f you find yourself avoiding sleep, consider what you are saying FyesH to instead of sleep. %our &P issue maynot be an F' willH go to sleep issue, but a F' wonItH browse /eddit after 9Cpm issue. onsider what you have tosay FnoH to so you can say FyesH to sleep.

O The ost of too uch Selfontrol Stress is very costly 2iverts the bodyIs resources to a perceived emergency 6ut obviously, some stress is also goodN

&P is also very costly 't also uses the bodyIs resources aggressively hronic &P is 5ust as bad as chronic stress Selfcontrol is a nifty evolved response to a specific set of circumstances, 5ust likestress is To preserve health and happiness, you need to give up your pursuit of &P perfection %ou need time off, and you need to choose your &P battles wisely

E:pe&i'ent* Re+a: to Reto&e 4P Ree&ve

/ela#ation is very important. So, here is a technique that activates the physiological rela#ation response for >9Cminutes.

9. 8ie on your back. 4levate your legs slightly, or do what is most comfortable.;. lose your eyes and take deep breaths=. ocus on your bodya. 'f you feel tension in any muscle, contract that muscle tightly for a few secondsthen rela# it

b. /epeat for all tension in body>. Then 5ust chill for >9C minutes in the knowledge that for these >9C minutes there isnothing you have to do besides rela# and en5oy yourself :"?. 'f worried about falling asleep, set an alarm (! peaceful oneN"2o this every day if you are able. 't will both reduce your stress and increase your &P.

O ne 7ation @nder Stress &illpower isnIt a personality trait or a virtue 't is a physical capacity and an instinct %ou donIt always get to 5ust make your mind up about it Stress always harms oneIs willpower 2onIt increase stress in yourself or others to get things done 6iologically, stress and willpower are incompatible and antagonistic systems People say the @nited States has lost its willpower &ell consider thisO A>U of !mericanIs report being highly stressed O The average amount of sleep has fallen by hours a night

sincethe 9X?CsN !s a nation we are going to have to address the stress if we want to address the&P


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$i(&o(ope* St&e an# Se+ Cont&o+

2irect quote: FThis week, test the theory that stress whether physical or psychological is theenemy of selfcontrol. *ow does being worried or overworked affect your choicesD 2oes being hungry or tireddrain your &PD &hat about physical pain and illnessD r emotions like anger, loneliness, or sadnessD 7oticewhen stress strikes throughout the day or week. Then watch what happens to your self control. 2o youe#perience cravingsD 8ose your temperD Put off things you know you should doDH

O The last word &P is an evolved mental instinct that initially promoted healthy group dynamics

&P failures can often be traced to being in the wrong physical state to properlye#ercise &P &aging the mental &P war will be hard if you are not physically preparedto do it&eek Three: Too Tired to /esist: &hy Selfontrol is8ike a uscleO 'ntroduction Think back to finals week in college, or ' guess use your imagination if you are young Tons of students crammed into libraries studying straight for days on end That is some great &PN

6ut... when using all that &P studying, they stop using it otherwise 2iets, e#ercise, everything else that requires &P falls to the side 'tIs almost like a &P reserve is used up &P decreases as it is usedO The uscle of Self ontrol /oy 6aumeister has studied &P for 9> years !ll of his studies show that &P deteriorates as e#ercised !ll &P seems to draw on the same common resevoire Self control is like a muscle 6ut... it isnIt 5ust using self control that can e#haust &P !ny pause and plan action drains it

$i(&o(ope* The Hi/h an# Lo- o 4P

Think about your own &P reserve. 's it high in the morning, but some the end of work e#haustedD !re there anymoments where it seems like the tank has been refilledD Think of your high and low &P moments, and planaround them. !lign difficult activities with times of high &P.

O &hy is selfcontrol limitedD The more one uses &P the less active the prefrontal corte# becomes over ashort time frame 's it a problem of energyD

'n part, yes 8ow blood sugar is a strong predictor of &P failure *owever, &P uses less raw glucose energy than a task like walking, so ifyou are walking then it isnIt 5ust energyO 4nergy risis 6rain has a very low energy storage capacity Therefore, very dependent on blood for energy 'f the brain detects a drop in blood sugar, it will start to cut back on energyconsumption, and the prefrontal corte# gets cut very early So even if you can walk, your prefrontal corte# may still be restricted F4nergy 6udgetH model for self control

'n general your body will spend energy when it is plentiful, and conserve itwhen it is not ore subtly it looks at the change in energyO So increasing blood sugar, more &PO 2ecreasing blood sugar, less &P


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O People &ho are Starving ShouldnIt say 7o to a Snack So the above may seem a bit frustrating, but consider ancient scarcity 't makes sense for the brain to do the above 8ow blood sugar scarce resources Time to take risks and be impulsive The future doesnIt really matter as much The problem is that low blood sugar still pushes people to make risky andimpulsive decisions eg. People on diets commit adultery at measurably higher rates

E:pe&i'ent* The 4P !iet

Sugar spikes are not the answer to the above problem. Spikes lead to massive drops later, andthat means massive drops in &P. ! smooth and even supply of sugar is the best option inregards to &P. This means focussing on foods that are low on the glycemic inde#. onsult adedicated dieting resource, but here are some low glycemic foods: lean proteins, nuts and

beans, highfiber grains and cereals, and most fruits and vegetables. ! decent rule of thumb is if it looks like itIsin its natural state (not much post processing" it is probably low on the inde#. 7ow, it will take S adn &P toswitch to these healthier foods, but they will give you increased returns given the even and steady blood sugar.onsider them a &P investment like e#ercise.

O Training the &P uscle reate a &P e#ercise or challenge reate and meet self imposed deadlines or e#ample, clean a closet over time These will help in all aspects of your &P in the long run Small &P tasks (maintaining good posture, tracking spending, etc." are alsogreat for &P e#ercise !ll of the above train you to notice your actions and then do the more difficultthing, and that is fundamentally what &P is all about

E:pe&i'ent* A 4i++po-e& 4o&o%t9. Strengthen F' wonItHa. ommit to refraining from one trivial activity: donIt swear, donIt cross legs whensitting, donIt slouch, donIt use dominant hand to open certain doors. Strengthen F' willHa. ommit to one small habit that you will do every day: meditate, call a familymember, throw one old thing out;. Strengthen Self monitoringa. ormally track something you donIt normally track. alories, spending, timespent online, whatever works. ! pen and paper is enough, but there are tons ofself tracking tools out there. Scope out www.quantifiedself.com if you really want

to get into it. Pick it and stick to it.Try to pick a workout that relates to your main challenge. So, if you want to save money,track your spending habits. 'f you want to e#ercise more, consider 5ust doing 9C quick push ups

before you shower. 4ven if you canIt make it relate directly, you will still be improving your &P.!nother way these e#ercises can come in handy is by easing you into truly massive &Pchallenges. onsider quitting smoking after a really heavy habit. 'f you can refrain from smokingfor 5ust some brief period for a work out, that will help in the long run.

O *ow real are the limits of self controlD &hen &P Fruns outH is that 5ust because e#ercising &P is getting hard or is thatreally a physical barrierD

To find out, letIs look at real musclesO aking the inish 8ine onsider the marathoner who Fpushes throughH fatigue Scientists used to think that when most runners stopped from fatigue ore#haustion, they had hit a real physical barrier


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*owever, when they e#amined the muscles of most e#hausted runners, theywere physically still capable of running for quite some time atigue was in the mind ('n most casesN" The brain uses fatigue as a trick to make you stop running 't doesnIt want you to hit true e#haustion, so stops you with Fgas still in thetankH %ou will get the mental sensation of fatigue long before you are actually

physically fatigued atigue is literally in the mind 'tIs closer to an emotion than a physical sense of where your body is at

The first wave of fatigue isnIt a real physical limitO This doesnIt mean you canIt hit true e#haustion, you can, but itcomes much later than you thinkO Truly good athletes learn to ignore the first waves of fatigue and

push on 'f it was actually a physical limit, they couldnIt push on So why do we care about thisD Some theori3e that &P is like this &hen we feel drained, we really arenIt yet drained &hen you feel &P e#haustion, know that it isnIt a true physical boundary,

and you can keep going Those who believe that &P e#haustion isnIt a FtrueH representation of theirphysical mental reserves donIt tire as quickly due to &P use They 5ust keep on pushing &hat a person believe about &P is their reality. Therefore, whenever you feel &P e#haustion, 5ust keep pushing 't is 5ust like early physical fatigue, and can be ignored

$i(&o(ope* I yo%& e:ha%tion &ea+8

&hen you feel that first moment of F' want to give upH or other &P e#haustion, move past it. 'tcan be ignored and pushed through in a manner similar to physical fatigue. *owever, be aware

of feeling constantly drained. 'f you always feel drained of &P, you may have hit a real limit forthe time being. *owever, even those limits can be increased with time and mental e#ercise.

O &here ThereIs a &ant, ThereIs a &ill orrect inspiration more willpower onsider some delicious girl scout cookies Tempting, rightD 7ow imagine someone will pay you Y9CC to not eat a single oneO 7ot so tempting now &hat you want will affect your &P So, incentives can work

*ere is one incentive that can apply to everyone who is e#ercising their &P Practice will make things easier &hat is hard and takes a lot of &P now will become easier and maybe even second nature in time !s you e#ercise your &P, things will get easier 't is a positive feedback loop that can and will bring you a better life if you stick to it

E:pe&i'ent* 4hat7 Yo%& >4ant? Po-e&

&hen your &P is getting low, tap into your want power. onsider:9. Think of how you will benefit from completing this challenge. &ill you have greaterhealthD ore happinessD ore freedomD oneyD SuccessD. Think of who else will benefit. 'f you canIt do it for yourself, consider your children or

others you feel an obligation to. Think of family, friends, or community. *ow will theybenefit from you sticking to your &P challengeD;. )now that this challenge will get easier for you over time if you are willing to do what isdifficult now. Think of how great it will feel when you succeed down the line. 's somediscomfort now worth thatD


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ind which one of these works best for you, and use it in times of need. Sometimes what youthink will motivate you isnIt what you e#pect, so e#periment with them allN

O 4veryday 2istractions and the ollapse of ivili3ation !n e#periment was run that required foresight and cooperation between multiplesub5ects Sub5ects given a shared public resource, an imaginary forest They could FlogH the forest for real money 4#periment took place over a long period of time, and the forest had a

simulated grow back rate 6est economic choice would be for all parties to cooperate, and harvestslowly over time The control party did 5ust that, and made some decent cash The treatment party was sub5ected to &P depletion treatments They e#hausted their forest so early the e#periment had to be cut short People with e#hausted &P canIt be counted on to make good decisions This can be helped with choice architectureO Set things up so the FbetterH thing is easier to do !utomatic opt in for organ donors, automatically scheduled

checkups )eep this in mind when making your own &P plans 2onIt plan around some heroic you that can make great choices Plan around the tired you that will give in, and take steps ahead of time tomove you towards the harder thingO The 8ast &ord &e canIt control everything in our lives *owever, we need to use &P to get better at it @se it or lose it 6ut donIt run a &P marathon every dayN

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