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The Power of Persuasion through Emotional Intelligence PRESENTED BY LISE VALENTINE JULY 30, 2020 23 RD BIENNIAL FORUM OF GOVERNMENT AUDITORS

The Power of Persuasion through Emotional Intelligence€¦ · 7/23/2020  · The Power of Persuasion through Emotional Intelligence PRESENTED BY LISE VALENTINE JULY 30, 2020. 23

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Page 1: The Power of Persuasion through Emotional Intelligence€¦ · 7/23/2020  · The Power of Persuasion through Emotional Intelligence PRESENTED BY LISE VALENTINE JULY 30, 2020. 23

The Power of Persuasion through Emotional IntelligencePRESENTED BY L ISE VALENTINE

JULY 30, 2020

23 RD BIENNIAL FORUM OF GOVERNMENT AUDITORS

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Preview

Your brain

YouSelf-awarenessSelf-management

Them Recognizing their emotions

Achieving audit goals

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Recognize the evolutionary biologyWORK WITH IT

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Self-awareness

HOW WELL CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR FEEL INGS?

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CAN YOU DISTINGUISH…FearAngerShame

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Right now

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MILDLY INTERESTED

FASCINATED BORED ANGRY DISGUSTED

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PRO TIP:How to make training never a waste of your time

LISTEN FOR AND WRITE DOWN TWO THAT:•New•Reinforce •Disagree

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Thoughts create feelings10

Thoughts Feelings

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You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.

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You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.

No one else can hurt your feelings

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Self-Management

HOW WELL CAN YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS?

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Feelings drive actions (or inaction)14

Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

? Do something new

? Stay where you are

Fear Pessimism Confidence Optimism

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

?ConfidenceOptimism

Do something new

?Fear

PessimismStay where you are

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

?ConfidenceOptimism

Do something new

?Fear

PessimismStay where you are

I’m good at things It’ll be fun I’ll fail

miserablyIt’ll be

humiliating

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FactsSITUATIONS/THINGS

THAT EXIST IN THE WORLD AS NEITHER

GOOD NOR BAD UNTIL YOU THINK

ABOUT THEM

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FactsAre like “Condition” before comparing to “Criteria”

For example: 50 calls for service not responded to within 5 minutes

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

I’m so behindI’ll never get it done

I don’t know where to start? ?

I’ll get a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one

It’s good to be busy? ?

Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

I’m so behindI’ll never get it done

I don’t know where to start

FearSelf-Criticism

Despair?

I’ll get at least a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one

It’s good to be busy

ConfidenceDetermination

Optimism?

Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

I’m so behindI’ll never get it done

I don’t know where to start

FearSelf-Criticism

Despair15 things not done

I’ll get at least a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one

It’s good to be busy

ConfidenceDetermination

Optimism6 things done

Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list

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Imagine you’re an auditee…

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like

They’re trying to make me look bad? ?

This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is

They want me to succeed? ?

Fact: 15 audit recommendations

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

? ? 15 corrective actions not taken

? ? 6 corrective actions taken

Fact: 15 audit recommendations

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Back to you…

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Managing your mind

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Managing your mind

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A lot of negative self-talk?

A lot of negative other-talk?

Does it help?

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HOW WELL DO YOU TAKE FEEDBACK?

FEEDBACK IS DATA (FACT, CONDITION)

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Them

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How good are you at identifying people’s feelings?

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

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Using Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Audit Goals

START WITH THE GOALS, WORK BACKWARD

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like

They’re trying to make me look bad? 15 corrective actions

not taken

This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is

They want me to succeed? 6 corrective actions

taken

Fact: 15 audit recommendations

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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions

This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like

They’re trying to make me look bad

AfraidDisrespected

15 corrective actions not taken

This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is

They want me to succeed

ConfidentRespected

6 corrective actions taken

Fact: 15 audit recommendations

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Back to audit results…

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Our goal is program improvement

We can’t do it ourselves

The best we can do is persuade someone else to do it

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How does the auditee need to feel?

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Respected Valued Intelligent Competent

Confident Collaborative Motivated Optimistic

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What thoughts will create those feelings?

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This auditor

Respects me

Values the hard work I do

Thinks I’m smart and good at my job

Knows how hard this job is

Knows how hard it is to be in my shoes

Wants to see me succeed

Gets it

Is pretty smart themselves, and fair

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How do you make them feel that way?

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You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.

YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM FEEL THAT WAY

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But you can help by

Saying and doing things to help them think the thoughts that will create the feelings of competence, optimism, and motivation.

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• Treat them as the expert they areExpert

• Value their opinionOpinion

• Respect their timeRespect

• Use their nameName

• Thank themThank

• Listen activelyListen

• Show compassionCompassion

For example

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Verbal and non-verbal cues50

Word choice (formal, informal)

Eye contact

Posture

Smiling

Tone of voice

Handshake

Clothing

Timing

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ACTIVE LISTENING

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Summary53

Understand your brain

1Understand how thoughts create feelings, which lead to (in)action and results in yourself and others

2Apply to life, including auditing

3

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Thank you and I want your feedbackLise Valentine

Pronouns: she/her

Deputy Inspector General for Audit and Program Review

City of Chicago | Office of Inspector General

740 N. Sedgwick, Suite 200 | Chicago, Illinois 60654

(773) 478-0016

[email protected]

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