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The Power of Persuasion through Emotional IntelligencePRESENTED BY L ISE VALENTINE
JULY 30, 2020
23 RD BIENNIAL FORUM OF GOVERNMENT AUDITORS
Preview
Your brain
YouSelf-awarenessSelf-management
Them Recognizing their emotions
Achieving audit goals
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(Y)our Brain
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY
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Recognize the evolutionary biologyWORK WITH IT
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Self-awareness
HOW WELL CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR FEEL INGS?
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CAN YOU DISTINGUISH…FearAngerShame
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Right now
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MILDLY INTERESTED
FASCINATED BORED ANGRY DISGUSTED
PRO TIP:How to make training never a waste of your time
LISTEN FOR AND WRITE DOWN TWO THAT:•New•Reinforce •Disagree
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/
Thoughts create feelings10
Thoughts Feelings
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You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.
You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.
No one else can hurt your feelings
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Self-Management
HOW WELL CAN YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS?
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Feelings drive actions (or inaction)14
Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
? Do something new
? Stay where you are
Fear Pessimism Confidence Optimism
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
?ConfidenceOptimism
Do something new
?Fear
PessimismStay where you are
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
?ConfidenceOptimism
Do something new
?Fear
PessimismStay where you are
I’m good at things It’ll be fun I’ll fail
miserablyIt’ll be
humiliating
FactsSITUATIONS/THINGS
THAT EXIST IN THE WORLD AS NEITHER
GOOD NOR BAD UNTIL YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM
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FactsAre like “Condition” before comparing to “Criteria”
For example: 50 calls for service not responded to within 5 minutes
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
I’m so behindI’ll never get it done
I don’t know where to start? ?
I’ll get a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one
It’s good to be busy? ?
Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
I’m so behindI’ll never get it done
I don’t know where to start
FearSelf-Criticism
Despair?
I’ll get at least a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one
It’s good to be busy
ConfidenceDetermination
Optimism?
Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
I’m so behindI’ll never get it done
I don’t know where to start
FearSelf-Criticism
Despair15 things not done
I’ll get at least a few doneI’ll start with the hardest one
It’s good to be busy
ConfidenceDetermination
Optimism6 things done
Fact: 15 things in your inbox/pile/to-do list
Imagine you’re an auditee…
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like
They’re trying to make me look bad? ?
This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is
They want me to succeed? ?
Fact: 15 audit recommendations
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
? ? 15 corrective actions not taken
? ? 6 corrective actions taken
Fact: 15 audit recommendations
Back to you…
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Managing your mind
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Managing your mind
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A lot of negative self-talk?
A lot of negative other-talk?
Does it help?
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HOW WELL DO YOU TAKE FEEDBACK?
FEEDBACK IS DATA (FACT, CONDITION)
Them
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How good are you at identifying people’s feelings?
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
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Using Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Audit Goals
START WITH THE GOALS, WORK BACKWARD
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like
They’re trying to make me look bad? 15 corrective actions
not taken
This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is
They want me to succeed? 6 corrective actions
taken
Fact: 15 audit recommendations
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Thoughts Feelings (In)Actions
This is so unfairThey don’t know what it’s like
They’re trying to make me look bad
AfraidDisrespected
15 corrective actions not taken
This will help me finally fix itThey understand how hard this is
They want me to succeed
ConfidentRespected
6 corrective actions taken
Fact: 15 audit recommendations
Back to audit results…
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Our goal is program improvement
We can’t do it ourselves
The best we can do is persuade someone else to do it
How does the auditee need to feel?
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Respected Valued Intelligent Competent
Confident Collaborative Motivated Optimistic
What thoughts will create those feelings?
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This auditor
Respects me
Values the hard work I do
Thinks I’m smart and good at my job
Knows how hard this job is
Knows how hard it is to be in my shoes
Wants to see me succeed
Gets it
Is pretty smart themselves, and fair
How do you make them feel that way?
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You hurt my feelings. I hurt your feelings.
YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM FEEL THAT WAY
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But you can help by
Saying and doing things to help them think the thoughts that will create the feelings of competence, optimism, and motivation.
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• Treat them as the expert they areExpert
• Value their opinionOpinion
• Respect their timeRespect
• Use their nameName
• Thank themThank
• Listen activelyListen
• Show compassionCompassion
For example
49This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
Verbal and non-verbal cues50
Word choice (formal, informal)
Eye contact
Posture
Smiling
Tone of voice
Handshake
Clothing
Timing
ACTIVE LISTENING
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Summary53
Understand your brain
1Understand how thoughts create feelings, which lead to (in)action and results in yourself and others
2Apply to life, including auditing
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Thank you and I want your feedbackLise Valentine
Pronouns: she/her
Deputy Inspector General for Audit and Program Review
City of Chicago | Office of Inspector General
740 N. Sedgwick, Suite 200 | Chicago, Illinois 60654
(773) 478-0016
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