The Parent TrapThe Paradox of Engaging Parents While

Empowering Millennial College Students

U-Life Professional Development Day – June 2012Barbara GorkaDirectorPenn Abroad

Scott RomeikaDirector, Academic Affairs and AdvisingUndergraduate Division, The Wharton School

Sharon SmithDirector, Student Intervention ServicesVice Provost for University Life

Millennials (and Parents) Go to College

Millennial Students Short view; expectation of immediate

results

Team oriented

Multi-tasking; (over)achieving

(Over)managed, (over)scheduled

Labeled as “special” and “unique”

Protected from harm, adversity, challenges

Risk aversion; uneven confidence

24/7 connection

Millennial Parents Activists as young adults; changed

the world (60’s and 70’s)

Invested in child’s success (literally, figuratively); “helicopter”

Seek lots of information from students, schools; “secretary”

Problem solving approach – “fix it now”

Maximizers / optimizers

Frequent connection to (but not necessarily better communication with) students

The Parent Trap: Challenges, Obstacles, and

Limits of Engagement

Different World (for students)Old World (high school)

• Child/minor

• Structured, passive learning environment

• Convergent thinking (get the right answer; 3 Rs)

• Success easier to define (concrete)

• Choices: “a la carte”

New World (college)

• Adult (young adult)

• Less structured, active learning environment

• Divergent thinking (complexity; creativity)

• Success harder to define (abstract)

• Choices: self-directed

Different World (for parents)Old World (high school)

• Active partner in education

• Some monitoring of learning environment

• More influence on self-perception, development

• Mistakes are more public (first to know)

New World (college)

• Limited/invited partnership

• Limited to no monitoring of learning environment

• Less influence on self-perception, development

• Mistakes are more private (last to know)

New Skills for the New World

Take charge of choices, decisions, success, challenges (pilots, not passengers)

Develop autonomy/responsibility

Explore and develop multiple identities/paths to success

Value process, integrity, and learning for the sake of learning (not just grades and other outcomes)

Learn from mistakes and challenges

Learn how to problem solve; identify supports and resources

Internal Limits: Penn’s PhilosophyPenn engages students in a solution-oriented

process that allows the student to be proactive and take responsibility for his/her actions

Penn offers tremendous freedom to individuals and expects that each member of the University community will carry his or her share of their responsibilities

The University does not take on a parental role in relation to its students but rather assumes that students can live as young adults who can make their own decisions and take basic responsibility for their own lives

Internal Limits: Parental Notification PolicyPenn reserves the right to notify parents in cases

involving serious injury or emergency situations

Parents are called whenever a student is in a health or safety crisis situation

Other than emergency situations, “a decision to notify parents or guardians about a student's activities will be made by the Office of the Vice Provost for University Life, or another senior student affairs officer, after consultation with the student's school office, if appropriate.”

Internal Limits: Factors that Guide Parental NotificationLevel of risk (to student, to Penn community)

Frequency

Other areas of concern (academic, residential life, etc.)

Willingness to engage in services and comply with University expectations

Student is informed ahead of time and empowered to initiate the contact instead

External LimitsFERPA

HIPAA

Clery Act

Student must give consent to release information (in most cases)

http://www.upenn.edu/privacy/index.htm

Am I in the right role to address the

issue?

Y: Am I being asked to share protected info?

Y: Do I have student’s consent?

Y: Should I share the requested

info?

Y: Share info, document

conversation

N: Affirm boundary; help where

you can

UNSURE: Consult

N: Affirm boundary; help where

you can

N; Share info, address

questions, refer

UNSURE: Consult

N: Make handoff or referral;

document

UNSURE: Consult

Troubleshooting Flow Chart

Consult with:- Supervisor- VPUL- General Counsel

Conclusion: Best Practices

Penn Support Network

Student

VPUL

College House

Faculty & TAs

Peers / Cohort

Resource

Centers

Advisors

Educate Yourself

• What is the office protocol?

• Be respectful, responsive, professional to parents

• Ask lots of questions; collect all the information you can

• Basics: parent name, student name, contact info, date/time of contact, issue presented

• Clarify the issues and ensure parents they’re being heard

• “Does your son/daughter know you’re calling?”

• Provide information – objective data; don’t speculate

• Knowledge (easiest to find on website, in publications, etc.)

• Process (less obvious)

• Empathize with parents’ concerns, anxieties, stressors

• Know when to hold ‘em (deal with the problem directly), know when to fold ‘em (when to involve others)

• But… make a good handoff (don’t just pass them around)

Educate / Empower Parents

• Establish limits and expectations (e.g. FERPA, response time to inquiries, etc.)

• Clarify the roles and responsibilities of individuals and offices within the university

• Clarify the role of the student in solving the problem

• Develop your own in-house resources (newsletters, data, etc.)

• Acknowledge the transition that parents are going through too

• Penn resources (http://www.upenn.edu/highlights/family.php)

Empower Students

• Involve students in the concern being raised

• Clarify student role and responsibilities

• Informed consent; process privacy preferences with students

• Encourage students to have proactive conversations with parents

Consent to share information

Grade disclosure

“What if” scenarios

Q&A

ReferencesGalsky, A. and Shotick, J. (2012, January 5).

Managing Millennial Parents. Chronicle of Higher Education.

Howe, N. and Strauss, W. (2000). Millennials Rising: The Next Great Generation. Vintage Press.

THANK YOU!