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20 inspirational sisters + 20 inspirational brothers =an awesome issue of MBM Do you know any inspirational Muslims under 40? Nominate them now until December 12, 2011:

The Intention & Self-Reflection Issue

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Take a moment to just be. Clear your mind and think back to the last time you made dua.

What is it that you asked Allah subhana wa ta3la for? Was it a dua for the dunya or for the

akhirah? What was your intention? As I type this letter to MBM‟s beloved readers, I erase an

original editor‟s letter I had written about a week back. Just yesterday, one day before the last issue

of MBM was inshaAllah to be published, Allah subhana wa ta3la blessed me with the opportunity

to lead a Sister‟s Halaqa on the topic of Jealousy and Envy. In the company of many sincere

sisters, we had a great session, walhamdulilah. A topic that kept coming up through the stories of

many sisters was the idea of unanswered dua, losing hope, and possibly falling into jealousy as a

result.

Some stories that were shared were about sisters who performed lots of dua, prayers, and

other forms of ibadah [worship], but then wondered why their dua was not answered. The key

element missing across the board was tawwakul or reliance on Allah subhana wa ta3la. We must

never forget to truly trust Allah subhana wa ta3la.

He is never going to let us down. If we find ourselves almost losing hope in the promise of Allah

subhana wa ta3la, we need to pull ourselves back and find out what is consuming us. Are we

forgetting our main purpose? Why are we feeling the way we feel?

Allah subhana wa ta3la gave us all the gift of fitrah. He gave us a internal GPS that is magnetically

attracted to Him. At the same time, He gave us tests and a forgetful nature. The dunya is all about

hustle and bustle. It will do everything it can to make you forget your Creator. Once you have

forgotten your Creator, your intentions are sure to be screwed up. That doesn‟t mean there isn‟t a

back-up plan. On the contrary, Allah subhana wa ta3la is all about redemption. We just need truly

clean hearts. We can inshaAllah acquire this through constant self-reflection of our intentions.

In this issue, we will be bringing you many different articles exploring the idea of checking yourself.

While you read this issue, I encourage you to remember that it is He, Allah subhana wa ta3la that

makes the impossible possible and the possible impossible. Just also remember that the intention

you set has a huge impact on your outcome.

We have the beautiful gift of Islam. It‟s time to unwrap the gift of Allah subhana wa ta3la and

remember what we are living for. What are your true intentions? Allah subhana wa ta3la is

aware of them. By constantly keeping ourselves in check and remembering Allah subhana wa ta3la

we will be much better off than if we choose not to. JazakAllah khair,

Enjoy the issue,

P.S. As always, your comments, criticism, and suggestions as an MBM reader are highly appreciated, encouraged, and

valued. By the will of Allah SWT, let us all engage in a deep, collective search for truth, guided by the primary sources

of Islam: the Qur‟an and Sunnah. As always, JazakAllah khair for being an MBM reader—the magazine would be

nothing without you.

Image: Bmkaysym | Dreamstime.com

In Leo Tolstoy‟s short novella The Death of Ivan Ilych, the protagonist Ilych is a well-do-to, successful magistrate with a sociable, fashionable wife, pretty children, and a fine house. But when he finds himself grappling with a fatal illness and watches his body deteriorate rapidly, he begins reviewing the course of his life. Near the middle of the book, he realizes he had not really „lived.‟ Back in the beginning of the book, Ilych was given a large medallion with the words „Respice finem‟ (Latin for „consider the end‟). He had forgotten this, up until the experience of his illness which then gave him the impetus to search for deeper, more fulfilling meaning to his life, even as he approached death. Even though I know the ending, each time I come to the last chapter of the novella I find myself in tears, surprised, relieved, and enriched with the renewed knowledge of how important it is to have „meaning‟ in one‟s life. Had Ilych known this, his intention, or niyya, to live in this world, would have been utterly different.

The words inscribed on Ilych‟s medallion bring us to the most beautiful words of Allah (SWT) in the Qur‟an when He says, “And when their term has come, they will not remain behind an hour, nor will they precede [it]” (16:61). Death comes to all of us, and to those we know and love, and the remembrance of this is not supposed to fill one with a fear of „the end,‟ but it‟s supposed to remind us of „the beginning,‟ and reminds us to really live with intention. What does that mean? How do we live? To respice finem may sound rather morbid, as though we always live dreading the shadow of death, or being in a state of fear and anxiety, unable to enjoy our lives because we are too busy trying to do enough before it‟s all over, or maybe abandoning everything since life is short. But it‟s not like that at all; on the contrary, in every single way. To respice finem is to be mindful of the transience of life, of the fact that the dunya is not forever, but our real destination, our ultimate goal, is the akhira, hopefully the jannah. Therefore, we can do two

things, with respect to this life and the next. The first thing is to enjoy this life to the fullest, for Allah (SWT) has blessed us with a beautiful world full of blessings to enjoy and praise Him for, and not to be negatively affected by the downsides of the dunya. The second thing is to see this dunya as only a brief stepping stone to our real life in the next world. Living as though you may die tomorrow, then, is not so much a question of fear, but a question of joy and faith. You may have heard an equivalent of by Ali bin Abi Talib (RAA), who said that we must live in this life as though we are going to live forever, and to work for the next life as though we will die tomorrow. In terms of the dunya, we must continue living and working and helping our children live and build in this world, and in terms of the akhira Abdullah ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with them both) reported that “the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) took hold of my shoulders and said, „Be in this world like a stranger or a wayfarer.”‟ Ibn Umar (RAA) also used to say, “When you survive til the evening, do not expect to live until the morning, and when you survive til the morning, do not expect to live until the evening. While in good health, (do good deeds) before you fall sick; and while you are alive (do good deeds) before death strikes” (al-Bukhari). Therefore, once our place in this world and the next is established, our paradigm, our vision, and our intention, or niyya, of living, is so clear, and so different. Our intention in this dunya becomes one of mindfulness, or taqwa, of Allah (SWT), and our chief concern is to please Him by living well, by doing good deeds, being with our loved ones, working hard and achieving things, and worshipping and glorifying Him, while avoiding the traps and

temptations of this dunya by not shirking our duties, by steering away from the hedonistic pleasures of the world and by keeping to the straight path and defending the truth. Intention means you‟ve put on your metaphoric pair of glasses as to how you see this world, and how you see the next world, and thereby create your very own paradigm and reality of the dunya and the akhira, and this determines the intention, the meaning of your life, and how you mean to carry it out, until you cross over to the akhira, where your real life begins as determined by your intentions, your deeds, and actions of the dunya. When I was younger and would have nothing to do one afternoon, I would flip through old issues of Reader’s Digest that my mum would buy. One of them had a very short article at the very back about „moments,‟ and the author quoted Irish writer Maria Edgeworth who wrote „Take care of the moments and the years will take care of themselves.‟ Think about today. You can increase your

iman and yaqin with the ‘ibada and worship

you can do, from your five daily prayers to the

fajr, the duha, and the shaf’ wa al-watr. There

are so many good deeds to do, from the mother

you can make smile, and the blessings of the

early winter sunshine that you can praise Allah

(SWT) for; the way the flowers look beautiful in

the light or the calm you feel at night, or the

feeling of success when you have accomplished

something, from volunteering at your mosque

or soup kitchen to doing your job with ikhlas

and sincerity. That is a life lived with intention.

May Allah (SWT) bless us with al-huda,

and guide us towards noble intentions.

By Brother Gareth Bryant

Unfortunately, whenever the subject of Hijab comes up, it‟s always gyno-centric. Conversations around Hijab always concentrate upon the Hijab of the Muslim woman, with little or no mention of the Hijab of the Muslim man. When it comes to only mentioning the Hijab of the woman, I personally view this bias as very unfair for the following reasons: It gives a lot of Muslim women the impression that men can wear whatever they want without reservation, which makes the mandates of Hijab seem very misogynistic. The rise of a feminist mentality among Muslim women has established an opinion that women don‟t have to wear Hijab, because it‟s something that puts women back as opposed to putting them forward. Then, there‟s the whole fallacy that Hijab is just an Arab thing, or something which predated Islam in Arabia. Firstly, the ordinance of the Hijab originates not from Islamic-Arabia, but rather, according to “Stories of the Prophets”, written by by Ibn-Kathir, the Hijab was initially an established mandate for our Human parents, the first Muslims from among Mankind, Adam and Eve (Peace be upon both of them). Ibn-Kathir has clearly explained in his work that when they disobeyed Allah subhana wa ta3la and ate from the tree which Allah subhana wa ta3la told them not to go near in Paradise, they

were evicted from Paradise itself. When they were subjected to live upon the Earth, Allah subhana wa ta3la had thus commissioned both of them to wear clothing and to cover their private areas. So, Adam alayahi salam was clothed from his navel to his knees, in perfect alignment with the majority scholarly opinion that a man‟s Awrah [private area] is his navel to his knees. Hawa (Eve) alayha salam was clothed in a matter that covered her entire body from head to toe, in perfect alignment with the majority scholarly opinion that a woman‟s Awrah [private-area] is her entire body, revealing only her face and hands once she reaches puberty. Keep in mind that they were the only Humans upon the Earth at this time. So, the fact that this was ordained for them when there were no other Humans around, except them, is very important, significant and thus proves that the Hijab for both men and women possess roots in Islamic antiquity. In all reality, the core purpose of the Hijab is to maintain proper etiquette and decency between men and women. Hijab for both men and women ensure they treat one another with respect, decreasing the possibility for them to merely view one another as sexual objects. Unfortunately, we all live in a modern/secular context, which promotes general/full-scale immorality via

Author’s note: This article is written as a result of a previous lecture that I had given about Hijab at Hudson County Community College, in Jersey City, New Jersey.

Image Credit: Mastin | Dreamstime.com

hyper-sexualization of our global society. We live in an age where these disgusting misogynistic and feministic ideas of what men and women are outside of an Islamic context. This has caused Muslim men and women to have developed demented ideological religious stances as to how to practice Islam on an individual level as well as a social level. For now, let‟s just stick with the individual aspect of practicing Islam. The majority of the Feminist community has basically black-listed the obligation Muslim women to cover properly as something archaic & savage meant to demean women. On the contrary, the Hijab of both men & women was established to uplift both respective genders, never to debase them. However, because Secularism has become the ideological king of our society, people like the majority members of the Feminist community have actually supported various movements to get the Hijab for women specifically banned in as many places as possible. Basically they want our Muslim sisters to shame themselves before men as well as other women by exposing parts of their bodies which Allah subhana wa ta3la has ordained to be cover an concealed from public view, as Allah subhana wa ta3la says in the Qur‟an:

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” [Quran 33:59 - Sahih International Translation] In all actuality the purpose of the Hijab is not to make us miserable, rather to separate us from the rest. I mean really, do you want a bunch of aroused, ill-mannered men who don‟t believe in Allah subhana wa ta3la and the Last-Day or disobedient Muslims to drool over the sight of your body?!!! We need to seriously think about this!!!

Now, there are those who would argue that men should have more control, or that women shouldn‟t have to cover just because men are lustful. Well, from a Human perspective that‟s a very good point. But, we‟re not the ones who make the rules; rather, the Creator of the Universe has ordained how men and women are to worship behave, act, and dress, not us. The whole reason that Allah subhana wa ta3la has ordained that men & women cover different parts of our bodies is because by our very nature, which He has created us with. Men and women are anatomically attracted to different things. Let‟s be very honest here, we all know that even anatomically, women are more attractive and possess more to offer men than the other way around. The reason why women are required to cover their entire bodies is because every aspect of the external anatomy of a woman is attractive to some man in some way, and it‟s not normally the other way around, meaning every aspect of the anatomy of a man is not attractive to a woman. Women are attracted to very specific things on a man‟s body, while men are attracted to a whole number of things on a woman‟s body. The ordinance for both men and women to cover their bodies a certain way is actually a mercy from Allah subhana wa ta3la, for all of the reasons that I already mentioned previously. The whole notion of supporting legislation in countries that are attempting to legally eradicate the Hijab, for women specifically, are truly people who are bent on establishing secularism everywhere, and are on the side of the Shaytan to attempt to extinguish the Light of Allah subhana wa ta3la (i.e. Islam). This is systematically being allowed because Islam is the only force that stands in between those who wish to see the world immersed in complete desire-driven corruption, and their goal of a world without any divine guidance established anywhere.

For more info. on Brother Gareth‟s writing, visit: http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com

Our children are our reflection. Many times how we treat them, nurture them, and speak to them will manifest when they are around others. If you treat your child a certain way, negative or positive, you are telling them it is okay to treat others the same way. We give them that green light whether we know it or not. I remember when my eldest son Takbir was having difficulties in one of his task, and his father and I encouraged him and said “You can do it Takbir!” We cheered him on and he was able to overcome his obstacle. Some weeks later, our second eldest son Tasbeeh started learning to walk down the steps, we were in the kitchen and could hear Takbir saying “You can do it Tasbeeh!! Good job you can do it!” My husband and I rushed to see what was happening and Tasbeeh was confidently going down the stairs. His big brother in the front was cheering him on

and even though we were nervous we were right there cheering too. How we treat our children is how they will treat each other and others. When we reflect on our parenting, we should ask the following: Are we using kind words and encouraging our children in the best way? Sometimes we are so busy reprimanding them and catching them doing wrong, we forget to catch them doing right and making that a big deal! Some of us put more energy into fussing than we put into cheering our children on and celebrating their accomplishments. We must think about how does this affect our child? “The best of the Muslims is he from whose hand and tongue, the Muslims are safe.” (Sahih Muslim) Are we creating pleasant memories or nightmares? At the end of each day, reflect on the type of day your child had and ask them at the dinner table. “How was your day?” Some children grow up

Brought to you by

Ameera Rahim is a mom of four that resides in New York. She is often known for her love of hands-on learning and supporting parents in their efforts to homeschool and educate their children. She can be seen sharing her three sons' homeschooling journey along with her husband Ameer Idris at www.habeebeehomeschooling.wordpress.com. Ameera is an advocate of increasing a love of early literacy, educational play based learning for young children, and healthy Islamic parenting.

, "Umar radhi Allahu anhu advice was to judge ourselves

before we are judged by Allah subhana wa ta'ala. It is only when we are

completely aware of our strengths and weaknesses that we focus on

improving on our strengths, and seeking Allah's mercy for our weaknesses.

Take out the time after each salah to reflect over your faults for the day, and

seek Allah's forgiveness for them. The humility that comes with correcting

yourself first will help you fulfil the relationships around you with

excellence."

with very awful memories of parents who constantly put them down and told them what they couldn't do. We are our child's biggest supporter. We have the ability to create beautiful long lasting memories they can pass on to their children or we can create a negative cycle of put downs and tough times that they can also pass down to their children. Are we showing affection? Believe it or not there are some parents who barely hug their children or give them a kiss. My husband calls it being touch deprived. These type of children could possibly grow up to be distant and cold people, not used to affection and warm touches. When my children are sad we give them such gentle and loving embraces and tell them words that will soften and ease their troubled heart. When I am crying or down, Allah subhana wa ta3la knows they do the same in return. They all come hug me, rub my back, tell me it's okay and don't cry. My children are currently 4, 3, and 1, masha‟Allah. The earlier we work on these matters, the better our children we be, b‟i`thnillah. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam said: The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Sahih Tirmidhi) SubhanAllah, are we treating our families in the best way? Imam Ghazali (May Allah subhana wa ta3la be pleased with him) once said that our children are entrusted to us by Allah and

they are impressionable so we should make the best impressions. When we go back to Allah subhana wa ta3la, do we want to have on our account that with matters He entrusted us with, we returned in an unacceptable manner? If someone lets you borrow a book, do you return it beat up, worn, pages ripped and a complete unrecognizable wreck or do you return it in good condition? Then what about our children? Wouldn‟t we like to go to Allah subhana wa ta3la having done our best taking care of our jewels in the best way? We should strive for that, because not only do we love and care for our children, but Allah subhana wa ta3la has entrusted us with them and therefore we must make the best impressions and pray that as they grow up, those impressions will benefit the ummah and be passed on to others. We are making impressions every day! We can all agree that the world is in need of people who will bring benefit, not detriment. Parenting is not at all child's play that we can just make into some mundane task and pray that time speeds up for the end of the day so everyone can go to sleep. It is indeed work, but one that is done in love and enjoyment, not done in resentment and lack of care. You truly get what you put into it. In the end, Allah subhana wa ta3la gives the ultimate reward for all loving work that we spend raising our children.

Getting divorced has become commonplace in our society and it does not appear to be changing any time soon. As disturbing as this is, it is vital for us to examine the underlying causes of divorce and also take a look at the effects it has on society as well as how it affects us personally. Divorces happen for a variety of reasons such as financial difficulty. The global economic downturn is a culprit that has helped contribute to several divorces simply because many of us are not able to handle the financial squeeze that we are experiencing. Lots of people are now forced to accept a different standard of living than what they were used to, and that can put a strain on any relationship. However, we should not only pursue materialistic goals in our marriage. We should strive to h a v e l o v i n g , h e a l t h y relationships. Domestic violence and abuse also account for millions of divorces and in this situation it is certainly understandable. Abuse is never acceptable and no one should ever be forced to endure this kind of hardship. We need to teach our sons and daughters from a young age that they should respect themselves as well as their future mates. Divorce can have

painful effects on both husband and wife especially if they have children in common. Children require stability, love, and support from their parents and when they feel that any of these components have been lost, they tend to suffer emotionally as well as psychologically. Many children blame themselves for the separation of their mother and father because they do not fully understand all of the following circumstances. A number of children carry this kind of emotional baggage well into their adult years and even bring it into their own relationships and in turn perpetuate the cycle. Family is the backbone of society, and many of the problems that we struggle with in society are largely due to the collapse of the family unit. Luckily, there are a few practical ways to prevent your chances of getting divorced such as having realistic expectations upon entering your marriage. You should have a clear understanding of the person that you are marrying and what the both of you hope to achieve in this marriage. Get to know your p a r t n e r s h a b i t s a n d background thoroughly so that you can decide if he/she will be compatible with you. If your mate happens to have a different cultural heritage than

your own, it may be a good idea to research their customs and history so that you will be more familiar with it. Have an o p e n m i n d a n d b e understanding-it will take you far. Most of all, try to remember that marriage is more than just the wedding ceremony. Many people get wrapped up in the wedding celebrations and then they don‟t have a clue on how to proceed once the party stops! Most of all, couples should put their marriage in the hands of Allah subhana wa ta3la. He is the Sustainer of all things, and nothing is impossible for Him. Keep your faith in Him and make dua on a regular basis so that your marriage will be blessed by Him.

Image Credit:

Mauro Bighin | Dreamstime.com

By: Jennifer Fawsy,

By Sister Yvonne Maffei,

A good soup always makes me feel warm inside and warms up the kitchen while it‟s cooking—especially when it‟s cold outside. This recipe serves 2 but can easily be

doubled, tripled & quadrupled.

Ingredients 1/2 small yellow onion, diced salt & pepper, to taste 1/4 cup whole milk or heavy cream olive oil 2 cloves garlic, mashed 1 roma tomato, diced 3 roasted peppers, skinned and roughly chopped 1/2 cup water or vegetable broth Directions 1. In a mid-size dutch oven over medium heat, sauté onions in olive oil until translucent. 2. Add garlic and tomato until soft, about 3-4 minutes. Add red pepper until fully blended and cooked. 3. Add water or vegetable broth, salt & pepper and bring to a boil. Add milk or heavy cream and reduce heat to a simmer. 4. Using an immersion blender, blend ingredients right in pan until smooth. If you cannot use an immersion blender, use a regular blender 1-2 cups at a time. 5. Serve hot, with a pat of butter & a fresh or dried sprig of parsley or basil.

Bismillah & Bon Appetit!

Yvonne Maffei is a food writer, recipe developer and the publisher of MyHalalKitchen.com, a halal food blog that offers recipes, tips and halal cooking techniques to readers.

Image Credit: My Halal Kitchen (myhalalkitchen.com)

Connect with Yvonne Maffei from My Halal Kitchen: Discover: www.myhalalkitchen.com

Like: www.facebook.com/myhalalkichen Tweet: @myhalalkitchen

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I used to hate New Year‟s Resolutions, and stopped writing mine when I was in middle school, after discovering I never really did any of the things I said I would (the only thing that I did was make myself feel bad). It seemed odd to me, deciding your life‟s goals, aims, and aspirations for the coming year one cold, late December night. What if I changed my mind about some of my goals? And worse (and more likely), what if I failed to fulfill my resolutions same time next year? To-do lists take you day by day; how could I possibly get round to doing things over the year? Did I really know what needed improving?

I am no longer so reluctant to make yearly resolutions. In fact, I probably rewrite my „resolutions‟ every few months. Because knowing your resolutions means knowing what you aspire towards, and that returns to what we think (or know of ourselves) and what we hope to become. There‟s the list where you write down, „I will lose weight‟ or „I will eat five servings of fruits and vegetables,‟ even, „I will complete a course in advanced French.‟ Then there‟s the course where you list the improvements to be made to your soul.

The words “gnōthi seauton” (“know thyself”) are inscribed on the walls of the Temple of Apollo of Delphi of Ancient Greece, and are among the most important two words one can remember. After all, to know oneself is to give meaning to one‟s existence, to give purpose to our days, months, and years alive, and more so to help establish ourselves in the akhira and be rewarded with the contentment and favour, or rida, of Allah (SWT).

In Taqwa: Provision of the Believers, Imam al-Ghazali writes, “Every breath of life is a precious jewel which can buy eternal treasures.” If one know what treasures of eternity one was seeking, how clear would the path of life be! Allah (SWT) and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) have given us the path, the instruments, and the guiding principles and teachings by which we might

achieve unwavering faith (yaqin), guidance and light (huda wa nur), and receive the forgiveness and love of Allah (SWT). But in order to open our hearts and souls to these blessings, we must know ourselves and identify, internalize our meaning and understanding of what makes us unique, what makes us special, and what makes us blessed.

Discovering ourselves takes self-reflection. It like an analysis of your strengths, your weaknesses, a reflection on what makes you „you.‟ What aspects of knowledge, what fields of study, or fields of profession and career are you suited for? What personal and character traits define you? And what ties you to Islam and therefore to Allah (SWT)?

These questions should be most pressing. In the quest of discovering ourselves, and thus the meaning of our lives and our actions, deeds, thoughts, beliefs, there is an inextricable link with our knowledge of Allah (SWT). In coming to know Him, you come round to the way of knowing your own self in relation to Him and His characteristics, His instructions for His creation. In learning to love Allah (SWT) you likewise love yourself, and give yourself clearer eyes with which to see the virtues and the faults of your nafs. In the Holy Qur‟an, Allah (SWT) says, “And those who strive in Us, We shall certainly guide Them to Our Paths” (29:69).

The clean, sparkling surface of your heart is like a mirror, which needs constant polishing and burnishing to reflect the light of God. With forgetfulness, it can lead to a dimming of the light. But al-hamdulillah, self-reflection means constant self-examination, constant observation of the qualities of our nafs, and a pruning of the things that are displeasing, habits that are not positive or strengthening or beneficial, to maintain the garden of our soul.

May Allah (SWT) guide us in constant discovery, knowledge, and purification of our hearts.

InshaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English,

InshaAllah means „God willing‟. This is a very commonly used

phrase, as Muslims believe God has power over everything.

MashaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English ,

MashaAllah means 'Whatever Allah (God) wills'. Often, it is

used as an expression of delight or achievement.

JazakAllah khairan Simply translated from Arabic to

English, jazakAllah khairun means „May Allah reward you for

the good”. This is commonly used to thank someone or to

acknowledge someone‟s effort.

SubhanAllah In Arabic, SubhanAllah means „Glorious is

Allah”. This is used when praising God. It is also commonly

used as a exclamation like “Wow!”.

Masjid The Masjid is simply the Arabic word for Mosque.

Many Muslims refer to the Mosque as a Masjid. Masjids are

primarily used for Salah (Prayer)

Jummah prayer The Friday prayer services that Muslims

attend weekly.

SWT: Subhana wa’ta3la Arabic Praise used after the name

of Allah meaning „glorious and exalted is He”

Hijab Headscarf prescribed to Muslim women for modesty

purposes

Shahadah Declaration of Islamic faith.

Assalamu Alaykum May peace be unto you.