The Art of Feedback Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others

The Art of The Art of FeedbackFeedback

Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others

Tonight you’ll learn Tonight you’ll learn to:to:

1.1. Identify who or what triggers your Identify who or what triggers your own resistance to feedbackown resistance to feedback

2.2. Create trusting relationships where Create trusting relationships where feedback is nurtured and welcomedfeedback is nurtured and welcomed

3.3. Offer effective feedback to othersOffer effective feedback to others4.4. Apply listening as a valuable skill for Apply listening as a valuable skill for

transforming behaviortransforming behavior

Business Dictionary .comBusiness Dictionary .com

Defining FeedbackDefining FeedbackFeedback is inherent to all interactions.In an organization, feedback is the

information sent to an individual or sent to an individual or group about its prior behavior so group about its prior behavior so that it may adjust current and that it may adjust current and future behavior to achieve the future behavior to achieve the desired resultdesired result. .

Feedback occurs when an environment reacts to an action or behavior.

FRAZZLED FeedbackFRAZZLED Feedback

Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.

"This employee is really not so much of

a 'has-been', but more of a definite

'won't be’."

Three Types of Three Types of Feedback…Feedback…

1.1. Neutral: Neutral: factual, concrete, non-factual, concrete, non-disputabledisputable

2.2. Positive: Positive: reinforcing, validating, reinforcing, validating, motivatingmotivating

3.3. Developmental: Developmental: constructive, helpful, “criticism”constructive, helpful, “criticism”

Positive FeedbackPositive Feedback

Bob Nelson, author of “1001 Ways to Reward Employees” suggests we:

Say: I saw what you did; I appreciate it; Great job!Give Immediate RecognitionGive Frequent Informal Recognition

1. What triggers our 1. What triggers our resistance to resistance to

developmental developmental feedback?feedback?

Receiving FeedbackReceiving Feedback

ExerciseExercise1. Write down the names of two people in your

life from whom you welcome feedback… no matter how difficult it may be.

2. Then, write down two people in your life from whom you would not welcome/receive feedback… no matter how tactful it may be.

3. At your table discuss why you value feedback from the first two but not from the second two.


"He sets low personal standards

and then consistently fails to

achieve them."


White Paper:Altering Behavior,: The Achilles Heel of Human Altering Behavior,: The Achilles Heel of Human

DevelopmentDevelopmentJames J. Lomac, Management Research Group

““The graveyard of failed careers is filled with The graveyard of failed careers is filled with the skeletons of professionals who werethe skeletons of professionals who were incapable incapable of adequately assessing their of adequately assessing their behavioral strengths and aligning them behavioral strengths and aligning them

appropriately with the job opportunities that appropriately with the job opportunities that exist in a changing marketplace.”exist in a changing marketplace.”

Three Responses to Three Responses to Developmental Feedback: Developmental Feedback:

1.1. Recognize and accept the feedback, Recognize and accept the feedback, but choose not to do anything but choose not to do anything about it. about it.

2.2. Recognize the behavior and the Recognize the behavior and the negative results, but negative results, but not change not change because other team members because other team members possess complimentary attributes.possess complimentary attributes.

3.3. Recognize and accept it, and Recognize and accept it, and make make a concerted effort to change.a concerted effort to change.

James J. Lomac, Management Research Group

Some typical, but not-so-Some typical, but not-so-good responses to feedback:good responses to feedback:

Outright denialOutright denialDiversionary tacticsDiversionary tactics

◦trying to place the problem trying to place the problem somewhere else;somewhere else;

◦minimizing its importance to minimizing its importance to make it seem irrelevant; make it seem irrelevant;

◦attacking the source or the basis attacking the source or the basis for the feedback.for the feedback.

James J. Lomac, Management Research Group


"This employee should go far...and

the sooner he starts, the better."


2. Create trusting relationships 2. Create trusting relationships where feedback is nurtured where feedback is nurtured and welcomed.and welcomed.

Building TrustBuilding Trust

Building a Foundation of Building a Foundation of TrustTrustWe accept feedback in an We accept feedback in an

environment of trustenvironment of trustWe tend to accept feedback more We tend to accept feedback more

easily from those who do not have a easily from those who do not have a personal stake in the outcomepersonal stake in the outcome

We accept feedback when it has We accept feedback when it has been given with an equal dose of been given with an equal dose of supportsupport

Perceptions always play a partPerceptions always play a part

Feedback that Fosters TrustFeedback that Fosters Trust

Adapt an attitude of support and Adapt an attitude of support and acceptance, not criticism.acceptance, not criticism.

Give people the benefit of the Give people the benefit of the doubtdoubt

Accept and celebrate differences in Accept and celebrate differences in stylestyle

Let go of small offensesLet go of small offensesGuard your tongueGuard your tongueBe the peacemakerBe the peacemaker


"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a

carrier.”


3. Offering effective 3. Offering effective feedback to othersfeedback to others

When is feedback …When is feedback …

-- necessary…?-- necessary…?-- appropriate…?-- appropriate…?-- inappropriate…?-- inappropriate…?

Can well-meaning, but poorly Can well-meaning, but poorly delivered feedback affect delivered feedback affect

relationshipsrelationships??

When giving feedback, follow When giving feedback, follow these guidelines… these guidelines…

First, ask yourself First, ask yourself – is there really – is there really a need for change, or is it just a a need for change, or is it just a difference in style or personality? Is difference in style or personality? Is it a control issue?it a control issue?

Always Always in private.in private. Make him/her feel Make him/her feel safe.safe. Always give Always give encouragement encouragement and and

support.support. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTENLISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN!


“He donated his brain to science

before he was done using it."


4. Listening transforms behavior4. Listening transforms behavior

Active ListeningActive ListeningCarl RogersCarl Rogers

Direct attempts to change an individual or his self-picture are threatening. He is forced to defend himself or to completely deny the experience.

Listening brings about changes in peoples’ attitudes toward themselves and others; it also brings about changes in their basic values and personal philosophy.

The active listening approach, on the other hand, does not present a threat to the individual’s self-picture.

He does not have to defend it. He is able to explore it, see it for what it is, and make his own decision about how realistic it is. And he is then in a position to change.

The Power of ListeningThe Power of Listening

“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and it is essential to all true conversation.” -- Chinese Proverb

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” -- Brenda Ueland, American feminist and author

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” -- Ernest Hemmingway, writer/author

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” -- Sue Patton Thoele, writer/author


“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, poet and author

“You seldom listen to me, and when you do you don’t hear; and when you do hear you hear wrong, and even when you hear right you change it so fast that it’s never the same.” -- Marjorie Kellogg, author


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The Art of Feedback Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others