The 8 Screaming Red Flags Bonus

8/10/2019 The 8 Screaming Red Flags Bonus

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Welcome!

I am so glad you decided to check out the 8 Universal Signsof a good man or character.

Most men CRAVE a committed relationship to a womanwho ennobles him, who admires his character and whobrings out his inner hero.

Please be sure to join me for my free WebinarClass on how to bring out the best in men anddissolve - easily and gracefully - those 5Obstinate Obstacles ToCommitment

So you will be the radiant and wise woman ready towelcome in and inspire the devotion of only the bestmen of high character into intimacy.

To your Life of Love,

Adam Gilad


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The 8Characteristics

Of A Quality Man ofCommitment

The 8 Screaming RedFlags

That Should Send YouRunning!

Excerpted from The Right Man Online: TheOnline Path To Offline Love


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And by QualityMan,I mean someone who will makeyou a sup po rt ive, respon sible, emot io nal ly mature,l i fe- expand ing , cher ishin g, protect ive and attent ive

partner.

Did you notice the word I didnt say?

I didnt say loving? Theres a reason I did this andthats your first lesson. Because if you LOOK for

lovingyou will find romancingor charmingand youwill fall for all those traps of SURFACE.

Men arent stupid. The wrong men know how to fakeloving by acting out everything theyve seen inmovies about being romantic. But thats not loving.

Rather, all those character qualities I mentioned above -support ive, responsible, emot ional ly mature, l i fe-

expanding , cher ishin g, protect ive and attent ive ADDUP to Loving.

See the difference?

I want you to look for supportive, responsible,emotionally mature, life-expanding, cherishing,protective and attentive


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and you will end up withloving!

Now, there are probably lots of ways to break it down, butthese are the 8 Characteristics that most women desiremost deeply and most universally.

Mind you, they are the not qualities of fantasy.

And elsewhere in this book I warn against brewing upsome fantasy of a man, some prince on a horse, somerich savior who you think will solve your problems.

The moment you think a man (or anybody) will solve

your problems is exactly the point when you arecreating huge new problems for yourself.

It means you are not taking responsibility for your innerlife. In my Intimacy University, we walk through all thesteps of self-acceptance, self-love, clarifying your

whysof intimacy before we even get to the how.

The better the man you desire, the more preparationyou need to do.


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And the same by the way is true for men (and

youd better believeIm hammering this home forthem inmultiple ways every day).

That said, here are the 8 Characteristics of a Quality Man:

He Is PurposefulHe is Authentic

He is Excited about his life

He is Financially Responsible

He is Expressive of What is Important to Him

He Open, Curious and Interested in Man/Woman

Dynamics (and genuinely likes women)

He is Open, Curious and Interested in You

He is Driven By Expanding Love, not Fear


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Now, can you really tell all those things about a guy fromhis profile or emails or on a first date?

No. It may take 5 minutes on a date to weed out thefrauds, or it may take a bunch of dates to discover.

But you can glean clues by how and what men write intheir online profiles and how they talk about themselveson a first date or two

and by doing so, save yourself a LOT ofheartache and time by paying close attention to whatyou are about to read


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Characteristic One:

He is Purposeful

A man with purpose is about something bigger thanhimself. It could be his family, and how he talks about hisgrandmother.

It could be his community, and how he volunteers and

enjoys his neighbors. It could be his work and how hetalks about the SERVICE and the VALUE he gives toothers, rather than about the money he makes or theperks of hisjob.

It could be about his sense of purpose in creating stability

so that he can create a family and raise children with theright woman.

And it could be about his sense of purpose to the worldto wildlife preservation, peace, the homeless, diseaseprevention,childrenshealth, whatever it may be...

The point is, this man is NOT all about only his ego andhis ego alone.


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Because guess what? If he is, you will end up beingnothing more than an adornment of his sole, solitary ego.

If hes not enlarged by some sense of purpose andservice in this world, he will always be about himself.Itshim against the world.

And guess which sideof that fence youll end up on?

Right!Theother side, even if he charms you in at first.

So look for men who says things like...

Something important about me is that I serve asa volunteer fireman. The guys in this crew arelike family to me, and a part of my weekend isdevoted to working with them to keep this

community safe...

One of the best parts of my job is watchingthe kids explode in joy when they finally get itright. Just staying in there with them until theyfigure it out for themselves. Money cant buy

this kind of happiness...

I have had some success in my work, butnow, one of my favorite things to do is mentor

people coming into this sector. My fatheralways taught me to give back, no matter how


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hard things may be on the journey...

If they dont write about it or talk about it (remember:men arent as expressive of their inner lives asyou are) then listen closely to them when you meetthem.

Listen closely to how they talk about their work, their

spare time, what they learned from their parents, who theyfeel MOST connected to. What makes him feel goodabout himself.

Especially that, what makes him feel good about himself

They will tell you everything you need to know.


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Red Flag

A man who stakes his value in outer measures such aswealth, possessions, status. A good man, a keeper, is aman who is in touch with his heroic core and a hero isalways in service to others, not to his own self-aggrandizement. The red flag is a man who takes creditfor all his good fortune, who blames others for his bad

fortune, who boasts about his outer life and who nevertalks about being in service to others family, friends,community,world.


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Characteristic Two:He is Authentic

This one isa littleharder to read at first. Its really atonal thing. Does he SOUND authentic? Does he soundas if he is comfortable in his skin or is he trying too hardto impress you?

One clue you want to look for - does he talkabout closeness to his family?

Because familiesare the one place where you cantfake people out! They know your secrets and they knowyour secret heart. If he is not close to his family (and his

family is not psychotic), its a hint that he is runningfrom something. There are exceptions of course.

Similarly, ask about his best and oldest friends. A manwho is authentic will have long-standing relationships withmen. A man who is running from authenticity will drop

people when he gets discoveredincluding you!

Another great clue to authenticity is to see how a manexpresses his vulnerability. His willingness to be openabout his vulnerabilities.


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But let me be clear: weakness is not the same

as vulnerability.

There are PLENTY of men who are weak. Who have noreal drive, who are stuck in their financial and emotionallives and not in action to do anything about it. Who arereally nothing more than extended adolescents.

You dont want those men.

You want a man who you can sense is strong in manyways (see the other 7 Categories) but who, at the same

time, in the midst of his strength and drive and sense of

purpose, still is okay with himself to admit his flaws orfears.

The difference is does he have a plan and is heexecuting it. Plenty of men have setbacks in life.But the man of authenticity and character will be

honest about his past mistakes and will set himself on acourse to correct them.


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Red Flag

An inauthentic man will always mask his failures, hismess-ups, his mistakes. He will run from his past andnot have long-term relationships with his friends andfamily. He will wear masks with you and justifyeverything. He will blame others. He will try to seeminvulnerable to you. An Authentic man will be open andhonest about learning from his mistakes and will take

actions to correct them and improve himself.


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Characteristic Three:

He Is Excited About His Life

Just as I will teach you to identify and express what isGREAT about your life, to identify yourself with thepositive things in your life, with the happy things in yourlife, with the elements of your life for which you aregrateful

so too, I counsel men to express how and why theyare excited about the momentum of their lives.

And I tell them in no uncertain terms if you are notexcited by the momentum you are generating in your life

then make changes, craft a plan, enact your plan andGET excited about your life.

Because no woman deserves a man who feelsunmanly. Who feels stuck, or downtrodden.

In short, I dont want you to end up with a man who isplaying the victim role in life.

These are all characteristics of male neediness.


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And a needy male, a guy who isntexcited about his

life WILL LOOK TO YOU TO PROVIDE WHAT HESHOULD BE PROVIDING HIMSELF.

And he will resent you for it sooner or later and heresthe nasty partwhether you supply it or not!

If you DO supply it, he will resent you becauseyouve taken the power in the relationship and he willfeel unmanned and dependent.

If you DONT supply it, he will just view YOU asinadequate, because its easier than facing his

own inadequacy!

Pretty scary, huh? It is, and Ive seen it happen athousand times.

In fact, there was a period in my earlier adulthood duringwhich I felt stuck. I was working my butt off in a field thatwas not satisfyingto me, withpeople I didnt likebut Iwas afraid to make a change because I had two small

babies and didnt know where to turn to createincome.And so, I began to resent my partner.


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So I know this trap all too well. I wasnt happy withmy

life, and it was easier to blame her than to get a grip andtake control of my destiny. Eventually, thats exactlywhat I did, and I learned deeply from that experience.Which is why I am so passionate about prodding men totake control of the happiness and excitement of theirlives.

Look for guys who have it together or who are on anactive, committed, consistent path to improve.


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Red Flag

Complaint and blame are the two screaming red flagshere. A grown man should never blame others for hisstate or his fate. A man who is ready for commitment andintimacy knows that he carves his fate by the choices hemakes. A man who is stuck in complaint and blame willend up blaming you not only for the inevitable challengesthat arise in intimacy, but for his own unhappiness in the

world. If hes not taking responsibility now for beinghappy withhislife,for being excited,he wont later.


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Characteristic Four:He is Financially Responsible

You want a man who knows how to save, who knowshow to invest,and isnta little boy blowing all the coinshe finds in hispocket on fripperies.

Beware of shows of extravagance in both photos and

text, online and on a date - of guys who talk incessantlyabout their toys (cars, motorcycles, boats and otherexpensive gadgets).

Certainly men can and should enjoy the fruits of theirlabor, but they should not stake their identity in the

possession and display of these fruits.

How can you tell a Man is financially responsible justfrom his profile or from an early date?

Well, for starters he has a job!

Or at least a steady source of income. There are so manyways to create income these days, and so many trainingand learning resources for men and women to tap.


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If hes learning a new profession or a new skilland

hes seriously committed to itfantastic! Thatshowshes on a path of self-improvement. Hes takingresponsibility.

Watch out for anyone who says hes betweenjobsorisin any kind of way waitingfor something to happen.

Again, this is a clue to his self-responsibility. Is hewaiting for the world (i.e. you) to make him happy? Oris he taking the bull by the horns and creating theconditions of his own happiness?

Many women think they can help a man make thatwork transition or have faith that it will happen.

BUT... BUT... I urge you: you want to meet a man whois already IN his power so that you dont fall intothat trap of filling a needy mans void which we

discussed above.

Just as you need to be, he needs to make himself happy,he needs to take self-responsibility to make his life right.

And


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not depend on someone else to do that for him.

The truth is, when a man is out of his power, youcant easily tell if hes evolved or not, because hellsay or do anything to comfort himself by drawingwomen closesomething he DOES have control over.

So seek signs of financial responsibility from the start.

Online,lookfor indicatorslikethese

Iwork hard and play hard, I believe in balancein all things. Like planning carefully for thefuture but being spontaneous and fun along theway...

Icome from a hardworking family...

Ilike to keep learning, from new outdoor sportsskills to weekend financial workshops so I cansharpen my knowledge about real estate,

investing,those kinds of things. My plan is to beable to spend plenty of time with my wife when Ifind her (could it be you) and our children. I dontwant to be one of those absent dads whosalways at work...


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Many women have the fantasy of a man who

will spend lavishly on her.

But you want a man who spends in moderation.Who has a plan. Who is careful. Who workshard. Who respects hard work. And who is nota show- off.


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Red Flags

He takes you on lavish, over-the-top expensiveshowy dates. Talks incessantly about hispossessions or about his next deal wheneverything will be okay. Who is afraid to showyou his home. Any man who has to play thebigman.

By throwing around money is confusing hisinternal sense of value with an externalconfirmation of value. Seek the first. Avoid thelatter.


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Characteristic Five:He is Sensually Alive

Ah, this is one of my favorite categories.

Because in my work with men, I have learned how deeplymen WANT to express their love of taste, but it comes outas gluttony. How they want to express their love ofbeauty, but it feels to them too effeminate. And how theylove sensual communion with women, but the onlylanguage they have so far is sex, sex, sex.

Keep an eye out for men who are ALREADY open tosensual pleasures. Who talk about their love of well

prepared food, of cooking, of wine, of working withmaterials likewood or the land,who can describe thefeelof the kind of woman he desires.

If he is open to the pleasures of the senses, hesprobably going to be a more satisfying lover for you.

A man who, on the other hand, is wrapped up in hishead, or wrapped up in his ego, will give no SENSUALlanguage, because he will not be attentive to giving and


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receiving pleasure.

And hell probably be a terrible and selfish lover.Here are a few examples of what to look for, forexample, online

My favorite meal to make for friends ismy patented glazed salmon grill,

mothered in chantarelles....

Once we know each other, I cant wait to showyou my favorite trails, where the mulch is fourfeet deep. You can close your eyes and

practically smell the age of dinosaurs.

On the weekends, I love to unwind by headingout to my shed and throwing myself into painting.Not pretty little landscapes, but I love to get inthere with my fingers and with my putty knivesand whip up storms of color like some kind ofbackyard Poseidon.

Listen for a man who is PASSIONATE aboutthis sensual world in which we live.


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Red Flag

He doesnt enjoy the taste or feel of food, thebeauty of landscapes, the joy of a happy dog.Hes locked in the math of his financial successor his own image in the world. He puts downartists or puts down others expressions ofsensual joy in all its forms.


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Characteristic Six:He is Open, Curious and

Interested in Man/WomanDynamics

Most good men I know realize that they have a LOT tolearn when it comes to living with and understanding awoman.

When youre 22, you may not realize it as deeply.

But when youve been through a few relationships,you begin to realize that, hey, this is gonna take a bit of

learning.

So look for cues in men's profiles and in earlyconversations that they are open to growth, that they findthe whole male/female dance interesting if notfascinatingand definitely not an annoyance.

See if he finds the dance of the masculine feminine ahappy challenge or a pain in the butt.


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And see if he can describe the kind of relationship hewants. Has he put thought into it?

You can tell a LOT from how a man details what hewants in a relationshipoften by noting how much of hisdescription is about what he is prepared to GIVE.

That is your super keydoes he talk only about what

he wants to get and not about what he looksforward to giving?

Some dating sites offer a place to write favorite books:Check out what he wrote is it all James Patterson, ordo you see.. If The Buddha Dated, Men are FromMars, Women are From Venus, The Way of theSuperior Man, these kinds of things.

Men dont read as many relationship books aswomen do which is why is says SO MUCH about aman who does make the effort to learn more about male-female dynamics.

It means hes serious about being successful inintimacy. Heres a paragraph from a mans onlinedating profile


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I've been told by close friends (will giverecommendations upon request) that I'm truly a nice

guy and I deserve to be happy in my life. It's veryimportant to treat people with respect. I'm a firmbeliever of treating others the way you want to betreated. I want to be in a relationship with someonetruly special. I want my heart to pound when the

phone rings and it's her calling. I have a great senseof humor and have been told I laugh at the dumbest

things. I can be shy at first, but I've learned to be moreopen.

What I like about this guy is that he feels, in his heart, thathe is a good man.

Thats essential.

And yet, in his last line, he is AUTHENTIC enough toadmit that he has been growing and not posturing at all.He talks about what he is prepared to give, and how hisprepared to behavenot what he expects from you!

Heres another


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Love to have fun. I believe in heartfulness asthe foundation of relationships. Love theoutdoors and being active outside. Like to talk

about anything as long as its not opinionated,dogmatic or about being right. Life is aboutloving and learning and seeing things beyondour own perspective.

Wowthis sure sounds like a guy - very to the point

and unadorned languageand VERY clear.

Hes a good one. His line, Life is about loving andlearning and seeing things beyond our own

perspective,sums up several of the Characteristics weare talking about in this report. This is a man who isprimed for an intimate relationship.

Give a guy like this an EXTRA chance with you.


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Red Flag

A man who scorns relationship books, therapy and self-growth. A man who assumes he knows it all and doesntneed to learnmore. A man who clearly needs to beright all the time. A man who is stuck in the past or in hisideasabout the onewayrelationships need to be.


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Characteristic Seven:

He is Curious and Interested

inYou

Well, this one is harder to identify in a profile. Rather,it comes clear in his emails to you, his questions aboutyou when you first meet, and on early dates.

One thing you should pay attention to is, is he asking justpro forma questions like, how many brothers andsistersdo you have?just to do the polite thing beforehe makes his move on you!

Or does he ASK FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS thatdemonstrate a genuine interest in your character,your uniqueness.... in you?

For example, Yoursister, what do you like most abouther? Or, whydid you choose nursing as a career? Doyou like it? Do you find it challenging? Is it what you

expected? Whats your favorite part of being a nurse?

If a man meets you online and takes the time to ask thesequestions in emails or in person, then its a good


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indicatorthat hes interestedinsomething more than a score.

Of course, the best players do this to mimic interest sofeel free to see if he remembers what youve told himinthe past, without being confrontational about it.

You want a man who sees your uniqueness and who

holds you as special.

Pay attention not only to his questions, but to whathe notices about you what he adores about you,what he compliments you about.

In other words pay attention to what he is payingattention to about you.

And if he takes in the special details of your inner worldand then delivers on your needs or desires all the

better! (i.e. bringing you that one pastry you offhandedlymentioned that you love.)


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Red Flag

A man who is incurious about you. who does not askfollow up questions about you. Who generalizes wildlyabout women and doesn't see you as an individualwith unique needs, desires, dreams and self-expression.


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Characteristic Eight:He is Driven By Expanding

Love, not Fear

I used to run a podcast called, TheFearless Lover:The Spiritual Foundationsof Lasting Love.

It is my experience, and what I have gleaned from

extensive study worldwide (India, Israel, Nepal, Peru,etc.) is that the one great spiritual truth is that in everymoment we are either guided more by fear or more bylove.

The process of real spiritual growth the foundation of

genuine and lasting intimacy - is that we can gently let goof our fears and anxieties so that our hearts can openinto greater, more expansive and natural love.

You can tell a man who is ruled by fear.

See how many of his statements in his profile are aboutwhat he doesnt like. Or what he judges to be notgood enough. Or about the kinds of people hedoesnt likeor rejects.About what he doesnt believe.


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This will be a man very caught up in protecting himselfby constantly highlighting his separation from theworld. A fearful instinct.

On the other hand, seek a man whose profile, whoseconversation and whose life is redolent with all the thingshe LOVES, all the people he LOVES, all the experienceshe LOVES, what he LOVES about women, about hisfamily, about his friends, his job.

A man who is already thinking naturally about howhe CONNECTS WITH rather than PROTECTSHIMSELF FROM the world.

Remember, you are part of the outside world, no matter

how close you get to him. If itshim against the world,again, youre gonna be on the other side of thatfence. He will treat you as a source of fear, even if theinitial romance feels like love.

Does he define his life as connection? Or as self-

protection? Thats a great indicatorof how hesgoingto treat you once the initial romance settles down.


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Red Flag

Sees enemies everywhere. Blames others for hissetbacks. Refuses to share his doubts and insecurities(though not on a first date). Refuses to take blame.

Refuses to be wrong about anything. Is paranoid. Isterrified of rejection so never takes risks. Allows others

to define his self-value rather than have a strong innersense of self-generated, character-based value.


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There they are! But, there should be other qualities yourequire in a Quality Man, and the more CLEAR you are

on what your intimacy goals are, the more you will be

able to discern if a man is the RIGHT man for you.

Dont forget to join me for my free Webinar Classon how to bring out the best in men and dissolve- easily and gracefully - those 5 ObstinateObstacles ToCommitment.

I look forward to seeing you there!

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The 8 Screaming Red Flags Bonus