Table of Contents Participant Handouts - The mission of ... · Table of Contents Participant Handouts ... Example Outline sheet and using the Sampling of Tools and Terms. ... The

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Table of Contents Participant Handouts

What you Can Expect at a Recovery International (RI) Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Recovery International FAQ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

About Recovery International . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

Three Actions That Lead to Success in RI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Three Actions That Lead to Success in RI (continued) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

The Two Faces of Temper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Temperamental Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

The Power of Self-Endorsement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Averageness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Spotting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

A Sampling of Tools and Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11

Some Basic RI Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

Applying RI Tools to Drop Temper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

Constructing an RI Example . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

How a Recovery International Example Should Be Constructed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15

Examples of Recovery Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

Environment Has Two Faces . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17

Comfort and Discomfort . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

The Parts of a Recovery International Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19

Life Consists of Trivialities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20

Group Leader’s Guide Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21-24

Basic Concepts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25

Dictionary of Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26

Recovery International | iv4 | Training Manual


What You Can Expect at a Recovery International (RI) Meeting

Meetings will start and end on time.

Please turn off your cell phone, pager or other communication device.

Meetings are facilitated by volunteer leaders trained to demonstrate the Recovery International Method.

A Recovery International meeting is a safe place to share. All personal information disclosed during meetings is held in strict confidence.

All Recovery International meetings follow a standard, structured format.

Written information will be distributed to help you understand and participate during the meeting. Additional RI literature, membership information and materials will also be available.

You may take notes on RI tools and principles during any portion of the meeting EXCEPT during the giving of an example.

We encourage you to sit with the group and to participate. Until you are ready to participate, simply say “I pass”.

We listen quietly and respectfully when others are reading and speaking.

We do not use offensive language.

We don’t offer advice, criticize, judge, analyze or make negative comments.

We keep comments and spotting tools brief in order to have time for all to participate.

You will have an opportunity to ask questions or make comments.

We don’t discuss politics, sex, religion, or legal issues in our meetings.

We are not mental health experts or trained professionals. We are people who practice the RI self-help techniques. We don’t diagnose, comment or advise on diagnoses, treatment plans or your medications.

Drinking any non-alcoholic beverage is permitted during a meeting but eating is restricted to the Mutual Aid portion of the meeting.

Thanks for coming and we encourage you to come again. If you have questions, comments or concerns call:

Rev Jan 2010 © Abraham Low Self-Help Systems

Doc.1 Recovery International | 1 | Participant Handout


Recovery International Frequently Asked Questions

Is Recovery International a 12-step program? The Recovery International system is not a 12-step program. Experience has shown no conflict between the two programs, and that they can be used simultaneously if necessary in a person’s specific situation.

When can I expect to see results in my own life? As you begin to practice the Recovery International self-help tools, you will begin to see situations in a different light. All training takes time. The best way to encourage adaption of the tools in your life is through attending community meetings, phone meetings and/or online meetings, where you can learn from other experiences.

Are Recovery International group leaders mental health professionals? No. Group Leaders are your peers. Leaders have all practiced the Recovery International system in their lives. Leaders receive ongoing training and are authorized annually.

How do I learn to give examples? You will learn primarily from listening to others give their examples, by following the Example Outline sheet and using the Sampling of Tools and Terms. The Group Leader will help you, when you are ready, by reading each of the four steps as you give your first example.

Can I take notes?Notes may be taken at any point during the meeting except when examples are being given. This assures the example-giver that no one is writing down the details of the situation being related.

Can I talk to someone from my group between meetings? Ask the group leader for contact information for the person or people in the group who are willing to take phone calls for assistance between meetings.

Where can I get the books? The main texts, Mental Health Through Will Training, Manage Your Fears Manage Your Anger, Selections From Dr. Low’s Works and other materials can be purchased at www.lowselfhelp-systems.org.

How many different meetings may I attend? You are welcome to attend any available meetings. You can find meeting locations at www.lowselfhelpsystems.org


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www.recoveryinternational.org

www.recoveryinternational.org


About Recovery International

Recovery International was the first self-help system aimed at those suffering from mental and nervous disorders and symptoms. Dr. Abraham Low started it over 70 years ago. He developed the RI Method working with his patients over a 15-year period. Called a cognitive-behavioral therapy program today, it offered a ground-breaking method to help its members regain and maintain their mental health.

Recovery International today offers hundreds of weekly meetings across the United States, as well as in Canada, Ireland, Puerto Rico, Spain, Israel, India, Pakistan, and the United Kingdom. Telephone meetings are also held, which are convenient for those who don’t live near weekly meeting locations or who can’t get out easily. Some people attend both types of meetings. Tens of thousands of people have used and continue to use the RI Method to live a healthy, peaceful life.

Group leaders and facilitators have been specially trained in order to maintain consistency in structure and content within a group and from group to group. Consistency is important so that you can go to a group meeting anywhere and join right in.

Recovery International has no religious affiliation. Attending RI meetings does not replace professional care and therapy. RI is not a 12-step program. Members can participate in both RI and a 12-step program. RI deals with symptoms, not diagnoses.

RI members are referred to groups in many ways – by other members, by physicians and therapists, by agencies and other groups, for example.

The RI Method has worked and continues to work for many thousands of people. It consists of easy-to-learn techniques and tools for changing the way we react to people and situations we have no control over. Additionally, members learn how to identify and manage negative thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that can lead to emotional distress and related physical symptoms.

People who stick with the RI Method are able to live healthy, productive lives with lower levels of tension, anger, fear, anxiety, compulsions, stress, and other symptoms.

Recovery International | 3 | Participant Handout


Three Actions That Lead to Success in RI

Learning the RI Method

You can learn the RI Method in many ways.

• Attending these training sessions is a good way to begin the learning process.

• You can also learn by reading books written by Dr. Low and other materials that provide the vocabulary, tools, and steps needed to use the RI Method successfully.

• A prime way to learn is by attending regular Recovery International meetings, where group members read selections from Dr. Low’s writings and learn from other members’ examples of how they are applying the RI Method when dealing with the stresses of everyday life that trigger distressing symptoms, thoughts, and impulses.

Gaining Group Support

You’ll gain group support primarily from attending weekly RI meetings.

• At RI meetings group members can report and get feedback on their own efforts in applying the RI Method to help change their thoughts and control their impulses in reaction to normal everyday non-emergency situations that RI members refer to as “trivialities.”

• Group members also can provide feedback and support to others as they give examples of their use of the RI tools to help change their thoughts and control their impulses in reaction to trivial situations.

• RI meeting attendees are all learning from each other – no matter how experienced group members are, there is always something more to learn.

• At RI meetings:

We don’t teach, we demonstrate.

We don’t judge, we support each others’ efforts.

(Continue on next page.)



Three Actions That Lead to Success in RI (continued)

Practicing

The last step that leads to success in RI is practicing.

• As with everything, the more you practice applying the RI techniques and tools to help change your thoughts and control your impulses, the better you get at doing so.

• As you attend and participate in meetings and learn to apply the RI techniques, you will begin to see your challenges in a different light.

• For some people this begins to happen after just a few meetings; for others it can take a few months.

• At meetings you will see people in different phases of regaining and maintaining their mental health.

• It’s the effort of using the RI Method that we focus on, not the results.

• We are not trying to be perfect; we are just trying to do the best we can to recognize what triggers our distressing thoughts and impulses and to apply the RI techniques that allow us to remain calm and not work ourselves up.

Notes



The Two Faces of Temper

Angry Temper: Fearful Temper:

NEGATIVE JUDGMENTS directed NEGATIVE JUDGMENTS directed against another person or situation against oneself

Resentment Discouragement

Impatience Preoccupation

Indignation Embarrassment

Disgust Worry

Hatred Hopelessness

Despair

Sense of shame

Feelings of inadequacy

Can you think of more? Can you think of more?

Temper can lead to, or be the result of:

• Temperamental deadlocks – quarreling over who is right and who is wrong in everyday situations that can result in an angry standoff.

• Temperamental language – language that is alarming or defeating or results in exaggerated, negative or insecure descriptions of experiences.

In RI, you will learn to identify – or spot – temper and substitute secure language for temperamental language to change the way you react to and handle situations.



Temperamental Language

WHAT IS TEMPERAMENTAL LANGUAGE?

SHORT ANSWER: Any words or statements that increase fearful or angry temper.

What are some of those words?

1. Exaggerated descriptions of experiences

2. Negative descriptions of experiences

3. Insecure descriptions of experiences

4. Alarming language

5. Defeatist language

IS THAT ALL? NO! TEMPERAMENTAL LANGUAGE IS ALSO

gossip - it's almost always negative

teasing - it's meant to hurt

cursing - it's exaggerated and negative

foul words - same as cursing, exaggerated and negative

and...

comparison - it almost always expresses negative judgment:

"That person is better than me" (fearful temper)

or

"I am better than that person" (sovereignty, self-minded)



The Power of Self-Endorsement

Self-endorsement is self-praise – a mental pat on the back we give ourselves for any effort we make to spot our temper and to control our words and actions.

In RI, we do not look for endorsement from others. We endorse ourselves.

We endorse ourselves for any effort we make to control how we think and act, whether we are successful or not.

It’s the effort we focus on, not the result.

What are some efforts you can endorse yourself for today?

Notes



Averageness

In RI, averageness is fine. Average does not mean mediocre. It means balanced. It means that we do not try to be exceptional. We understand that:

• Everyone experiences similar trivialities.

• Everyone has temper.

• Everyone gets tense and nervous to a degree.

It’s average to feel the impulse to lash out in anger or to avoid what we fear.

Our experiences are average, not exceptional, and our feelings and sensations are not exceptional either. It’s only our tendency to work them up that makes them seem exceptional to us.

We also do not put pressure on ourselves to always be able to react perfectly – no one can. We want to set realistic goals – what we can achieve, not what’s impossible to achieve.

We each have our own average. For example, some people are early risers and do their best thinking in the morning. That is their average. Others do their best thinking in the afternoon or late at night. That is their average.

We are all good at some things and not so good at others. Different people are good at different things. In this way, too, we each have our own average.

What is one thing you are good at?

What is one thing you are not so good at?

It’s not really how good we are at something that’s important. What is important is our effort – that we try to do our average best. We try to drop the judgment – of ourselves and others.



Spotting

In RI, the term “spot” is used in two ways:

• To “spot” means to identify when we are having a temperamental reaction or symptom and to remember an RI concept and use it to drop our temper or manage our symptoms.

• A “spot” or “tool” is a short sentence that we use to help us remember an RI concept and enable us to drop our temper and manage our symptoms.

There are many spots, or tools. You will learn them through practice.

Different tools apply to different situations. Different tools have different meanings to different people.

There is no right or wrong way to use the tools; whatever works for you is appropriate.

Notes



A SAMPLING OF TOOLS AND TERMS

A purpose for using a Tool List is to enable newcomers to more easily and rapidly participate in a Recovery meeting. With this in mind Recovery International encourages you to use this list when you initially attend our meetings, until you feel comfortable without it. Your Group Leader may have other guidelines for you regarding the use of this list in meetings. We are glad that you are here and encourage you to participate and endorse for your participation!

These tools are quoted or adapted from Dr. Low’s books: Mental Health Through Will Training (MH), Selections from Dr. Low’s Works (SEL) and Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger (MYF). Citations to Dr. Low’s books are listed for each tool. Many other tools can be found in these books.

Some Basic RI Tools

Treat mental health as a business and not as a game………………..…...……………MH ch.25 Humor is our best friend, temper is our worst enemy……………………………….…..MH p.108 If you can't change a situation you can change your attitude towards it...MYF p.108, Sel. p.31-32 Be self-led, not symptom-led. …..………………………………………......MYF p.114-118, 280-283 Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous .SEL p.53, MH p.115, 119 Temper is, among other things, blindness to the other side of the story …………MH p.159 Comfort is a want, not a need. ………………………………..……………......….....MH chs.13, 22 There is no right or wrong in the trivialities of every day life………...SEL p.39, MH p.157, 195-196 Calm begets calm, temper begets temper………………………….…...…….MYF p.245, SEL p.31 Don't take our own dear selves too seriously………………………………....………….MH p.109 Feelings should be expressed and temper suppressed…………………....……...…....MH p.178 Helplessness is not hopelessness………………………..……………….……MH ch.7, MYF p.184 Some people have a passion for self-distrust…….…………...…..…….MH ch.29 & MYF Lecture 2 Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms………………………..…….……….……MH p. 219 Do things in part acts……………………………………………….…….……….……MH p.246-249 Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance……...…….MYF p.13, SEL p.46, 132 Have the courage to make a mistake………………..……….MH p.203, ch.30, MYF p.60, SEL p.108 Feelings are not facts……………………………...……………..………….MH ch.9, MYF Lecture 14 Do the things you fear and hate to do……………...………..…………...MH p. 329-330, MYF p.197 Fear is a belief –– beliefs can be changed………………………………………….MYF p.266-269 Every act of self-control leads to a sense of self-respect....…………….…….………..MH p.166 Decide, plan and act. ………………………….……………………………………………...MH p.42 Any decision will steady you……………………………………...……………….………...MYF p.5 Anticipation is often worse than realization….…………………..…..………….MH p.114-115, 146 Replace an insecure thought with a secure thought……………..……….….……..MYF Lecture 1 Bear the discomfort in order to gain comfort…………………….………….…………….MH p.149 Hurt feelings are just beliefs not shared………………………………….………………..SEL p.21 Self-appointed expectations lead to self-induced frustrations…………….…………….SEL p.35 People do things that annoy us, not necessarily to annoy us………..…...…………….MH ch.48 Knowledge teaches you what to do, practice tells you how to do it……...……………SEL p.118 Muscles can be commanded to do what one fears to do………………………..……..SEL p.123 Tempers are frequently uncontrolled, but not uncontrollable.…………………………..MH p.392


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SOME BASIC RI TERMS

Angry Temper –– negative judgments (resentment, impatience, indignation, disgust, hatred) directed against another person or situation.

Fearful Temper –– negative judgments (discouragement, preoccupation, embarrassment, worry, hopelessness, despair, sense of shame, feelings of inadequacy) directed against oneself.

Averageness — most of the things we experience, including nervous symptoms are average — most people have experienced them. Only our tendency to workthem up makes them seem exceptional to us.

Self-endorsement — self-praise for any effort to practice the RI Method. We recognize the value of every effort we make regardless of the result.

Sabotage — when we ignore or choose not to practice what we have learned in RI. When we do not do what is best for our mental health.

Trivialities — the everyday events and irritations of daily life. Compared to our mental health, most events are trivial

Inner Environment — everything inside your self: feelings, sensations, thoughts, impulses and muscles.

Outer Environment — everything outside your self: places, people, events, and the past.

Spotting — identifying a disturbing feeling, sensation, thought or impulse, previously unseen then applying the right Recovery tools.


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SOME BASIC RI TERMS

Angry Temper –– negative judgments (resentment, impatience, indignation, disgust, hatred) directed against another person or situation.

Fearful Temper –– negative judgments (discouragement, preoccupation, embarrassment, worry, hopelessness, despair, sense of shame, feelings of inadequacy) directed against oneself.

Averageness — most of the things we experience, including nervous symptoms are average — most people have experienced them. Only our tendency to workthem up makes them seem exceptional to us.

Self-endorsement — self-praise for any effort to practice the RI Method. We recognize the value of every effort we make regardless of the result.

Sabotage — when we ignore or choose not to practice what we have learned in RI. When we do not do what is best for our mental health.

Trivialities — the everyday events and irritations of daily life. Compared to our mental health, most events are trivial

Inner Environment — everything inside your self: feelings, sensations, thoughts, impulses and muscles.

Outer Environment — everything outside your self: places, people, events, and the past.

Spotting — identifying a disturbing feeling, sensation, thought or impulse, previously unseen then applying the right Recovery tools.


Doc.4b Recovery International | 12 | Participant Handout

THE BIG FIVE1. Angry Temper

2. Fearful Temper

3. Muscle Control

4. Muscle Movement

5. Sabotage


Applying RI Tools to Drop Temper

Situations When You Were in Temper

Type of Temper(Angry / Fearful)

Tools to Use to Drop Temper



Constructing an RI Example: A Worksheet

1. Report a single situation or event that occurred — an everyday event when you began to work yourself up. Focus on a brief description of what happened: specifically, what triggered temper and symptoms?

2. Report the symptoms you experienced — both physical and mental. (For instance, angry and fearful thoughts, confusion, palpitations, disturbing impulses, tightness in your chest, lowered feelings, sweaty palms, and so on.)

3. Report your spotting of fearful and/or angry temper, the RI tools you used to help yourself, and your self-endorsement for your effort.

4. Begin with “Before I had my Recovery training” and describe the temperamental reaction and symptoms you would have experienced before you began practicing the RI Method. What would have happened then versus what happened now? (This will help you to note the progress you have made.)


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HOW A RECOVERY INTERNATIONAL EXAMPLE SHOULD BE CONSTRUCTED

OUTLINEStep 1. Report a single situation or event that occurred-an everyday event when you began to work yourself up. Focus on a brief description of what happened: specifically, what triggered temper and symptoms?

Step 2. Report the symptoms you experienced-both physical and mental. (For instance, angry and fearful thoughts, confusion, palpitations, disturbing impulses, tightness in your chest, lowered feelings, sweaty palms, and so on.)

Step 3. Report your spotting of fearful and angry temper, the Recovery International tools you used to help yourself, and your self-endorsement for your effort.

Step 4. Begin with “Before I had my Recovery training,” and describe the temperamental reaction and symptoms you would have experienced in former days. What would have happened then versus what happened now? (This will help you to note the progress you have made.)

Learning to give an example simply and clearly in the four-step sequence is an important part of the Recovery International (RI) Method. The best way to learn is to practice constructing and giving a “good average” example. Here are a few basics to work on as you go through each step in turn.

Step 1: When describing the situation or event, be clear but brief. It’s tempting to go into a lot of “background” and detail, but this is usually unnecessary and even distracting. Practice focusing on just a few sentences of basic information that will clarify the situation or event that generated your symptoms or discomfort. Notice in the sample examples how the descriptions in Step 1 are both brief and precise.

Step 2: People often skip this step to get to Step 3, “spotting.” However, while this step, like the others, should be kept brief, an important part of the RI Method is learning to be objective in recognizing and describing physical and mental responses. This objectivity makes those responses seem less threatening and overwhelming. Avoid diagnosing (“I became paranoid”) and spotting (that comes in the next step). Just describe your physical and mental sensations (“I felt flushed and angry, my head hurt,” etc.).

Step 3: Here you identify the Recovery tools – the “spots” – that helped you deal with yoursymptoms. Stay focused on RI language and concepts; avoid mixing in material from other methods. Be clear about how the spots apply to the symptoms and event, but don’t worry about using every possible tool. Often just one or a few spots are all that you need for the example.

Step 4: A crucial part of getting well through will training comes when we see how we’ve improved through our use of the RI Method. This step is important in helping us to see that improvement.

Note: The sample Examples of RI Practice (see reverse side) illustrate how the four stepscan be followed briefly but clearly.


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Constructing an RI Example: A Worksheet

1. Report a single situation or event that occurred — an everyday event when you began to work yourself up. Focus on a brief description of what happened: specifically, what triggered temper and symptoms?

2. Report the symptoms you experienced — both physical and mental. (For instance, angry and fearful thoughts, confusion, palpitations, disturbing impulses, tightness in your chest, lowered feelings, sweaty palms, and so on.)

3. Report your spotting of fearful and/or angry temper, the RI tools you used to help yourself, and your self-endorsement for your effort.

4. Begin with “Before I had my Recovery training” and describe the temperamental reaction and symptoms you would have experienced before you began practicing the RI Method. What would have happened then versus what happened now? (This will help you to note the progress you have made.)


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HOW A RECOVERY INTERNATIONAL EXAMPLE SHOULD BE CONSTRUCTED

OUTLINEStep 1. Report a single situation or event that occurred-an everyday event when you began to work yourself up. Focus on a brief description of what happened: specifically, what triggered temper and symptoms?

Step 2. Report the symptoms you experienced-both physical and mental. (For instance, angry and fearful thoughts, confusion, palpitations, disturbing impulses, tightness in your chest, lowered feelings, sweaty palms, and so on.)

Step 3. Report your spotting of fearful and angry temper, the Recovery International tools you used to help yourself, and your self-endorsement for your effort.

Step 4. Begin with “Before I had my Recovery training,” and describe the temperamental reaction and symptoms you would have experienced in former days. What would have happened then versus what happened now? (This will help you to note the progress you have made.)

Learning to give an example simply and clearly in the four-step sequence is an important part of the Recovery International (RI) Method. The best way to learn is to practice constructing and giving a “good average” example. Here are a few basics to work on as you go through each step in turn.

Step 1: When describing the situation or event, be clear but brief. It’s tempting to go into a lot of “background” and detail, but this is usually unnecessary and even distracting. Practice focusing on just a few sentences of basic information that will clarify the situation or event that generated your symptoms or discomfort. Notice in the sample examples how the descriptions in Step 1 are both brief and precise.

Step 2: People often skip this step to get to Step 3, “spotting.” However, while this step, like the others, should be kept brief, an important part of the RI Method is learning to be objective in recognizing and describing physical and mental responses. This objectivity makes those responses seem less threatening and overwhelming. Avoid diagnosing (“I became paranoid”) and spotting (that comes in the next step). Just describe your physical and mental sensations (“I felt flushed and angry, my head hurt,” etc.).

Step 3: Here you identify the Recovery tools – the “spots” – that helped you deal with yoursymptoms. Stay focused on RI language and concepts; avoid mixing in material from other methods. Be clear about how the spots apply to the symptoms and event, but don’t worry about using every possible tool. Often just one or a few spots are all that you need for the example.

Step 4: A crucial part of getting well through will training comes when we see how we’ve improved through our use of the RI Method. This step is important in helping us to see that improvement.

Note: The sample Examples of RI Practice (see reverse side) illustrate how the four stepscan be followed briefly but clearly.


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EXAMPLES OF RECOVERY PRACTICE

I had an errand to do downtown today. It was something that could not be put off. I thought that I did not want to go and began to work myself up. I had fearful thoughts about being out in public and not being able to control my outer environment. I wanted to withdraw, had lowered feelings, felt tense and thought of how I could avoid going out today. I spotted my fearful temper and made a decision to go out and run the errand. I felt steadier having made the decision. I planned and acted in getting ready to go out and went downtown on the bus. As I traveled and took care of my business downtown, I saw that anticipation is often worse than realization because things were going fine. I enjoyed being out on a nice day and people were friendly. Although I could not control my outer environment, I could control my inner environment. Each time I endorsed my efforts, the next step seemed easier. Before my Recovery training, I might have stayed home, remained fearful and worked myself up into a vicious cycle of lowered feelings and inadequacy. If I had not decided, planned and acted, I would not have had this opportunity to see that anticipation is often worse than realization and that one self-endorsement can lead to further encouragement and confidence.

********** Coming through customs at the airport at 4 p.m. on Tuesday, I was asked to go through a different area to be searched. That’s when I began to work myself up. My symptoms were head pressure, palpitations, and dizziness. My racing thoughts were, Why me? There are thousands of people here and they pick me. I had the impulse to work myself up more. I spotted aggressive temper towards the customs officials. I had fearful temper that I would be unable to cope with the situation and self-pity – Poor me! I used the Recovery spottings that “helplessness is not hopelessness” and “to excuse rather than accuse” in the interest of my mental health. In former days, I would have reached for medication. I would have said rude things to the man who searched my luggage. This time I endorsed myself for making the trip and coming to Chicago. ********** Yesterday I bought a half dozen peaches that were beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside. My wife and I have different philosophies about buying produce. I buy it at a cheaper store where the goods must be eaten in a few days or they will go bad. She buys at a more expensive store which sells produce with a longer shelf life. We have been engaged in a good-natured debate all summer about which philosophy helped us save more money. Several months ago, we had had the same experience with fruit purchased at my store. My wife returned the items and got our money back. Now it was happening again. I began to work myself up. I had lowered feelings and some stomach distress. I had the fearful thought that I might have failed in the standard of average efficiency. I had the angry thought that my wife was rubbing in my failure. I spotted to have the courage to make mistakes and that there is no right or wrong in the trivialities of everyday life. I excused and did not accuse my wife. I spotted that people say things that irritate us but not necessarily to irritate us. I resisted the impulse to start keeping records about how much things cost my way as opposed to her way—thus controlling my muscles to keep from going for a symbolic victory. I endorsed myself for my practice. Before Recovery I would have felt that I must find out who was right. I would not have realized that I had choices about changing my thoughts and controlling my impulses. Before Recovery I was hospitalized with delusions and clinical depression.


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Environment Has Two Faces

OUTER (EXTERNAL) ENVIRONMENT INNER (INTERNAL) ENVIRONMENT

EVERYTHING OUTSIDE YOURSELF EVERYTHING INSIDE YOURSELF

Places Feelings

People Sensations

Events

The Past Thoughts

Impulses

Muscles

Which can you control? Which can you control?

Notes



Comfort and Discomfort

Situations Distressing Symptoms Appropriate Tools



The Parts of a Recovery International Meeting

• Welcome and Introductions

• Reading

• Examples

• Voluntary Contributions

• Further Spotting and Questions

• Mutual Aid



Life Consists of Trivialities

Life consists of trivialities and very little else. If you think of what you worry about, it’s trivialities. Whether you should buy a certain item or not. Whether you shouldbuy it now or wait until the price goes down. Should you spend money on unnecessary things, or should you save the money? These are trivialities, average happenings.

The average person deals constantly with average happenings, with trivialities. You eat, you sleep, you walk, you go to school, you see friends, you talk on the phone. That takes up 90 percent of your day, if not 98 percent. Life consists of trivialities mainly. How often does a father die? Once in a lifetime. That’s not a common, average, trivial event. How often does somebody in the family get married or somebody get born? How often does your house burn down? What you call a big item happens rarely.

These trivialities of everyday life create responses in you. You either don’t notice them because they don’t interest you, or they cheer you because they please you, or they anger you, or scare you. Even the simplest triviality can scare or anger you. In the life of a parent, the fact that a baby cries is a triviality. A thousand things that the baby does are trivialities, but a mother may work herself up over each of these trivialities. The closer a relation is to you, the more the trivialities can irritate, frustrate, anger and scare you.

Trivialities crowd your life, but any one of them may arouse your anger, your fear, your disgust, or your terror. I want you to learn how to deal with trivialities, not to get upset by trivialities. You must learn to handle the trivialities of daily life without temper. If you wish to be trained in this system, be prepared to listen to nothing but trivialities. That’s life. Life is to get angry at a person who doesn’t look at you, or a person who stares at you, a person who talks too much, or a person who doesn’t talk at all. That’s life. It is also to eat a bad meal or a good meal. If you eat a bad meal, you feel anger. If you eat a good meal, then you feel enjoyment. That’s life. Utterly trivial.

If you want stirring excitement, you will not get it in this program. We are average people, and we talk about average trivialities – that means everyday life.

Note: This is an excerpt from Chapter 23 in Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger by Abraham A. Low, M.D.


©Copyright 2014 Recovery International, All Rights Reserved Recovery International | 21 | Participant Handout

RI Group Leaders’ Guide, Rev. 04/10

GROUP LEADERS’ GUIDE INDEX

PAGE Mission Statement. …………………………………………...……. 1 Vision Statement…………………………………………...……… 1 Introduction …………………………………………...…………... 2 Preface……………………………………………………………... 3 Section I – Recovery International. Group Meeting Policies & Procedures Recovery International Developed by Dr. Low ……………….…… 6 Who May Attend Recovery International Meeting……………….. 6 Location of Meetings………………………………………………. 6 Contact Numbers………………………………………………….. 6 Frequency of Meetings……………………………………………... 7 Meeting Room Arrangement……………………………………….. 7 RI Literature………………………………………………………. 7 Role of the Leader…………………………………………………. 7 Sequence of the Group Meeting Welcoming Newcomers………………………………………….. 9 Authoritative Works of Dr. Low…………………………………. 10 Introductions…………………………………………………….. 11 Before the Example Period………………………………………. 11 The Example Period Time Limits Prescribed by Dr. Low……………………………… 12 Giving the Example……………………………………………… 12 The Nature of the Example (Trivialities)…………………………. 14 The Testimonial………………………………………………….. 14 “I Need Help” Examples………………………………………… 14 Controversies Between Members………………………………… 15 Comments (Spotting) on the Example…………………………… 15 Balance Between Sabotage and Practice………………………….. 16 No Advice……………………………………………………….. 17 Voluntary Contributions…………………………………………. 17 Further Spotting, Questions and Comments……………………... 17 Mutual Aid Period………………………………………………... 18 The Small Group………………………………………………… 19

Additional Policies Recovery International is Self-Help Mental Health……………….. 20 Use of the RI Language……………………………………..…… 20 RI Is Inclusive…………………………………………...……….. 21

Group Leader’s Guide, Rev Jan 2010



GROUP LEADERS’ GUIDE INDEX

PAGE Mission Statement. …………………………………………...……. 1 Vision Statement…………………………………………...……… 1 Introduction …………………………………………...…………... 2 Preface……………………………………………………………... 3 Section I – Recovery International. Group Meeting Policies & Procedures Recovery International Developed by Dr. Low ……………….…… 6 Who May Attend Recovery International Meeting……………….. 6 Location of Meetings………………………………………………. 6 Contact Numbers………………………………………………….. 6 Frequency of Meetings……………………………………………... 7 Meeting Room Arrangement……………………………………….. 7 RI Literature………………………………………………………. 7 Role of the Leader…………………………………………………. 7 Sequence of the Group Meeting Welcoming Newcomers………………………………………….. 9 Authoritative Works of Dr. Low…………………………………. 10 Introductions…………………………………………………….. 11 Before the Example Period………………………………………. 11 The Example Period Time Limits Prescribed by Dr. Low……………………………… 12 Giving the Example……………………………………………… 12 The Nature of the Example (Trivialities)…………………………. 14 The Testimonial………………………………………………….. 14 “I Need Help” Examples………………………………………… 14 Controversies Between Members………………………………… 15 Comments (Spotting) on the Example…………………………… 15 Balance Between Sabotage and Practice………………………….. 16 No Advice……………………………………………………….. 17 Voluntary Contributions…………………………………………. 17 Further Spotting, Questions and Comments……………………... 17 Mutual Aid Period………………………………………………... 18 The Small Group………………………………………………… 19

Additional Policies Recovery International is Self-Help Mental Health……………….. 20 Use of the RI Language……………………………………..…… 20 RI Is Inclusive…………………………………………...……….. 21

Size of an RI Group……………………………...………………. 21 Note Taking………………………………………………...……. 21 Five-Minute Telephone Calls Between Meetings…………………. 21 Smoking at Meetings……………………………………………... 22 Beverages and Food at the Meeting……………………………… 22 Issues Not Discussed…………………………………………….. 22 RI Does Not Offer These Services………………………………. 22 Section II – Recovery International Group Leadership Qualifications To Become a Group Leader or an Assistant Group Leader……………………………………... 24 Authorization and Tenure of Group Leaders……...……………….. 24 Leaders’ Meetings – An Important Service Provided by the Area ... 24 Responsibilities of Group Leaders……………………………….... 25

Section III – Appendix A (items may be copied as needed) (Materials marked with a document number will be found in the document section of this Appendix)

Materials To Be Given To the Newcomer ................................................... A1 Materials for Use During the Meeting .......................................................... A2 Welcome Message for Newcomers ............................................................... A3 Importance of Trivialities ................................................................................ A4 Tips for Leading an RI Example .................................................................... A5 Voluntary Contribution and Scripts .............................................................. A6 MHTWT Chapter Page Number Cross Reference Chart .......................... A8 Selections from Dr. Low’s Works: CD Format ........................................ A11 Policy Statements Essential Elements of the Recovery Method ............................................ A13 Essential Components of a Recovery International Meeting ................. A14 Confidentiality and Note-taking .................................................................. A15 Policies Governing Recovery International Meetings ............................. A16 Guidelines and Helpful Information A Sampling of Tools & Terms: Guidelines for Group Leaders ............ A20 Newcomer’s Orientation During Weekly Meetings ................................. A22 Guidelines for Leaders: Dealing with Distrubing Behavior at meetings .... A25 Books By and About Dr. Low and Recovery International ................... A28 Letter to Request Meeting Space................................................................. A30 Certificate of Attendance ............................................................................. A31


©Copyright 2014 Recovery International, All Rights Reserved Recovery International | 23 | Participant Handout


Confirmation of Attendance ........................................................................ A32 Order Forms & Publications

Group Leader’s Order Form Member’s Order Form Dr Low’s Lectures on CD: Order Form Revolving Literature Fund Procedures Revolving Literature Fund Agreement Membership Form Donation Form Additional RI Publications

Documents

What You Can Expect at a Recovery International Meeting ...... Doc. 1 Recovery International Frequently Asked Questions ................... Doc. 2 How a Recovery International Example is Constructed.............. Doc. 3 A Sampling of Tools and Terms ...................................................... Doc. 4 Constructing an RI Example: A Worksheet .................................. Doc. 5 Basic Concepts .................................................................................... Doc. 6 “You Are Not Alone” Stories ............................................. Doc. 7A – 7F Examples of Recovery Practice ........................................... Doc. 8A – 8B

Section IV: Appendix B RI Discovery Group Structure & Materials (Items may be copied as needed) (Materials marked with a document number will be found in the document section

of this Appendix)

Welcome ..................................................................................................... B2 What You Can Expect at a Recovery International Meeting ..... Doc. 1 RI Discovery Quick Facts ........................................................................ B3 RI Discovery Structure ............................................................................. B4 Materials for the Newcomer .................................................................. B10 Policies Governing RI Discovery Meetings ........................................ B11

Section V: Appendix C RI Telephone Meetings Group Structure and Materials (Items may be copied as needed)

Welcome Message for Newcomers ........................................................ C3 Welcome to Recovery International Telephone Meetings ................. C4 What to Expect During an RI Telephone Meeting ............................. C5

Group Leader’s Guide, Rev Jan 2010


Recovery International Telephone Meetings FAQ’s ........................... C6 Recovery International Phone Meeting Procedures ............................ C8 Policies Governing RI Phone and Online Meetings ......................... C15 Books By and About Abraham Low and Recovery International .. C17 Sample Telephone Meeting Schedule .................................................. C19

Section VI: Appendix D RI Online Meetings Group Structure and Materials (Items may be copied as needed)

What You Can Expect at an RI Online Meeting ................................ D3 Recovery International Online Meetings FAQ’s ................................. D4 Important Information about Online Chats ........................................ D5 Policies Governing RI Phone and Online Meetings .......................... D8



BASIC CONCEPTS

For more than 70 years, thousands of people all over the world have been using the self-help method developed by neuropsychiatrist Abraham Low, M.D., to live more peaceful lives. The Low Self-Help Method is based on these important concepts.

Temper Has Two Faces Angry Temper: The judgment that the other person is wrong or has wronged me.

For example: irritation, resentment, impatience, hatred, disgust, rebellion

Fearful Temper: The judgment that I am wrong.

For example: worry, feeling of inadequacy, hopelessness, fear of damage to your reputation, sense of shame

Living a more peaceful life starts with learning to recognize signs and symptoms of temper, both angry and fearful.

Environment Has Two Sides Outer (External) Environment: Everythingoutside yourself.

You can’t control any of these: people, events, the past, the future.

Inner (Internal) Environment: Everythinginside yourself.

You can’t control these: feelings, sensations

You can control these: thoughts, impulses

Realize what you cannot control. Concentrate on what you can control.

Use Your Will You have the power to choose: How you are going to act. What you are going to think.

Focus on Everyday Events Most things that upset us are the routine events in everyday life. Using the Low Self-Help Method helps us deal more positively and peacefully with the frustrations, challenges and upsets of daily living.

Practice Self-Endorsement Give yourself a mental pat on the back for any effort: To spot and control your temper. To control your thoughts and impulses.


Doc.6Recovery International | 25 | Participant Handout


Dictionary of Terms Averageness: Setting realistic goals, not trying to be exceptional.

Endorsement (self-endorsement): A mental pat on the back, self-praise for effort or control.

Group-minded: Thinking about what is best for your group (family, classmates, friends, etc.).

Self-minded: Asserting individual rights and domination over someone else or those around you.

Outer (external) environment: Everything outside your skin, including people, events, and the past.

Inner (internal) environment: Everything inside your skin, including feelings, sensations, thoughts, and impulses.

Feelings: Emotions such as anger, impatience, hatred, fear, worry, embarrassment, shame, and many more. You cannot control your feelings.

Sensations: Physical responses such as blushing, racing heartbeats, tense muscles, teary eyes, and many more. You cannot control these sensations.

Thoughts: Ideas produced by thinking, such as, “This is fun,” “I can do this,” “He is annoying,” and so on. You can learn to change your thoughts.

Impulses: What you first want to do, such as to punch, to run, to hug, to laugh, to yell, and so on. You can learn to control your impulses.

Sabotage: Anything you do to interfere with your goal of managing your anger and fear, such as using temperamental language, avoiding using the tools, or rebelling.

Temper: The judgment of right and wrong in everyday events. This does not apply to legal, moral, or ethical issues.

Angry temper: The judgment that someone else is wrong or that someone has done me wrong, and I become angry. Angry temper can take the form of resentment, impatience, indignation, annoyance, irritation, disgust, hatred, or rebellion.

Fearful temper: The judgment that I am wrong, and I become fearful or angry at myself. Fearful temper can take the form of discouragement, preoccupation, worry, embarrassment, sense of shame, feeling of inadequacy, hopelessness, or despair.

Temperamental deadlock: Quarreling over who is right and who is wrong in everyday situations. It becomes an angry standoff.

Temperamental language: Exaggerated, negative, or insecure descriptions of experiences. Also, all language that is alarming and defeating.

Tools: All techniques and concepts used in The Power to Change Program.

Trivialities: Routine events in everyday life.

Vicious cycle: Temper and tenseness that increase the length and intensity of feelings and sensations, which create more temper and tenseness and lead to defeatism.

Will: The power to choose how you are going to act and what you are going to think.
