Survival of the Kindest: Towards a Compassionate Society

Dacher Keltner

University of California, Berkeley

keltner@berkeley.edu

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu

SYMPATHY BREAKTHROUGHS (JONATHAN GLOVER, HUMANITY) • George Orwell

• Miklos Nyiszli

• 75% of soldiers refuse to shoot at enemy

AN EVOLUTIONARY CONUNDRUM & PARTING OF WAYS

• Russel-Wallace: Sympathy created by God

• Thomas Huxley: Sympathy is a cultural construction

DARWIN: SURVIVAL OF THE KINDEST Darwin argued that sympathy “will have been increased through natural selection; for those communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring”

(Darwin, 1871/2004, p.130).

TAKE CARE OR DIE

A RELIABLE SIGNAL OF COMPASSION: IT’S NOT IN THE FACE

THE VOCAL REGISTER OF COMPASSION

Diagram of oral cavity, nasal cavity, and larynx

VOCAL BURSTS OF POSITIVE EMOTION (Simon-Thomas et al., 2009)

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100

VIRAL GOODNESS: THE SPREAD OF COMPASSION • Neonate distress cries • Emotional, Physiological Convergence in Friends • Compassion inspires elevation • Generosity spreads through networks (Fowler &

Cristakis) • Altruism increased in altruistic clusters • Collective Joys

TACTILE CONTACT: THE 1ST LANGUAGE OF COMPASSION

Diagram of the skin Diagram of the hand and wrist

TOUCH • Rewards

• Builds Trust

• Signals Safety

• Soothes

TOUCH AND THE SPREAD OF GOODNESS

Emotion and Touch

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Compassion

Gratitude

LoveAnger

Fear

DisgustFreq

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Emot

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Correct LabelNext choice

THE PROSOCIAL NERVOUS SYSTEM

Oxytocin and Trust

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Oxytocin Control

% Wh

o Give

Away

Maxim

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ARC OF HISTORY: JUSTICE AND COMPASSION • Continuing the trend towards less harm

• Reductions in bullying, torture, rape, death in war, murder, assault (Steve Pinker, 2012)

TAKE A BREATH

• Nirvana = breathe out

• Yogic practices, meditation: start with breath

• Breathe in, out counting to six, 21 times

• Changes in vagal tone, reductions in anxiety

BUDDHISM

“ If you want others to be

happy, practice compassion;

if you want to be happy

practice compassion”

- His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

KINDNESS IN THE WISEDOM OF THE AGES A person of jen, Confucius observes,

• “wishing to establish his own character, also establishes the character of others.”

• “brings the good things of others to completion and does not bring the bad things of others to completion.”

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

PRACTICE KINDNESS TOWARDS SELF AND OTHERS • Loving Kindness:

• Wish for happiness of two people every day (for one minute)

• We all suffer, experience pain, extend kindness to others • Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) • Loving Kindness improves:

• Brain function (left hemispheric activity) • Immune system function • Vagal tone

GRATITUDE • Reverence for what has been given to you

• Gratitude diaries, reflections, letters, kind speech

• McCullough: Written accounting of gratitude, better health three weeks later

• Lyubomirsky: Once a week write down what you’re grateful for, it boosts happiness

EMERSON: AWE AND COMPASSION In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life-- no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or parcel of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental; to be brothers, to be acquaintances, master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. “Nature”(1836/1982), p.39

d = .52

Pens Self-importance Entitlement Taking money

d = .58 d = .88

d = .86 d = .45

Awe, vastness virtuous behavior

Coding Touch

PRACTICE KINDNESS

“If any civilization is to survive, it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject.” - Ayn Rand

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - The Dalai Lama

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-0.05

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0.05

0.1

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Give to others Spend on self

Chan

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iness

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Giving away $20 if more rewarding than spending $20 on oneself

THANK YOU! greatergood.berkeley.edu