Snediker Tragic Appliances eBook

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    The

    Apartment

    of

    Tragic

    Appliances

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  • 7/30/2019 Snediker Tragic Appliances eBook

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    theapartment

    of

    tragic

    appliances

    Cmichael_d._snedikerD

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    The Apartment o Tragic Appliances Michael D. Snediker, 2013

    ://.//

    T O A, , , , , , , , , . F , .

    F 2013 P B B, NY://.

    ISBN-13: 978-0615792484ISBN-10: 0615792480

    L C C D L C.

    PeanutBooks

    readpeanutbooks.com

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    acknowledgments

    C G, notnostrums, 5

    G, T A TA, Blip Magazine, W 2011

    E M, J E, S B N,Maggy, F 2012

    I V, N S, S D,Fatboy Review, S 2011

    R,jubilat 20

    |

    |

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    |

    W ,

    .

    --F HT C P

    W I , , , I -

    --H D T, Walden

    |

  • 7/30/2019 Snediker Tragic Appliances eBook

    9/83

    Appliqu

    I , O P

    ,

    U E P , .

    W I P C ? W ? W ?

    T D ; P U .

    P (,

    ) . S .

    I , P O. S M.

    (H .) S H, ; . N

    H, U: , .

    I O , . T

    U,

    , .W P mise en abyme .

    I trauerspiel, P .

    T , P

    .

    A

    . T . A W

    Tractatus,

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    .

    O W B , T

    , , , , ,

    q . F q

    , ,

    .

    W -. I

    , . I G

    . T P . B

    , , . I , P

    .

    U:

    E L B .

    I E,

    , . R

    B L P: .

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    Table o Contents

    concerto grosso ................................................ 1ganymede ................................................................ 2manhunt ................................................................. 5canada day (1)..............................................7elegy or marni ................................................... 8

    clemenzo...............................................................10

    canada day (2) ..........................................12the grain & the grape................................. 13ouija......................................................................... 16jane eyre................................................................ 18couples jeopardy..............................................20dgustation ........................................................ 22

    attic ........................................................................ 24some big news..................................................... 26swanns way (1) .................................................. 28doubleback ........................................................ 30hatsuhana ........................................................... 32cottages ................................................................ 34

    disaster relie ................................................... 36huckleberry inn ............................................. 37its volleyball, not sexism......................... 39good honest guy ..............................................40swanns way (2) ........................................43rockwell in brazil ......................................... 45the apartment o tragic appliances.....47

    semireddo ........................................................... 49sel-help ................................................................ 52blanche .................................................................. 54specimen day........................................................ 56rabbit ...................................................................... 59the house o mirth .........................................61

    gone with the wind ......................................63mildred pierce (pie wagon) ....................65lahooley .............................................................67

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    1

    concerto grosso

    I . G

    . T , . W I ,

    , M F

    C J, Tempo semplice, E

    . S G

    . A .S f ,

    . I only I were articulate i onlyI were uent, graceul, i only he

    were graceul. S I ,

    ,

    Antique Roadshow q, ,

    . And what can you tell us about this sadness,do you have any idea how old it is, or what its worth?

    C schadenreude : ecce . B

    - C,

    , , ,

    . T allegro largo subito. A I

    .

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    2

    ganymede

    W SUBWAY (eatresh)

    , ,I

    I , - L V

    , . L ,

    ,- H

    . O L, A I,

    ,

    .A , + , ,

    , H

    -- . A

    , , ,

    , , : A LV

    L. W SUBWAY

    (eatresh), . O ,

    W , ,

    . T . D , I ,

    . A :

    - ,

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    3

    I really like your bag, , ,

    , , ,

    . I . I

    , ,

    D . O

    ,

    . I , C ,

    ; , ,

    P

    . O, ,

    , , ,

    , .

    T SUBWAY (eatresh)

    , , ,

    . W ,

    ( ),

    . O , A-S

    , . O

    , ,

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    4

    . M

    , . A

    what one wants, q. M

    , D

    . S , E, .

    D turkey , , S F ,

    L ? N . H ,

    , . A

    what would you like on that. A ( ), . O

    , ,

    . O . A , , you know I havethe wallet. O ,

    D ; ,

    . W , , A

    .

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    5

    manhunt

    I .T

    P-M . T

    -, B, P, I,

    C, S, S,B, P. A : . M I

    . N

    - ,

    . T , saudade. I

    - P-M, P. M . T

    . A

    T-, , . T .

    I W I ; W I C R. W

    . I , . M . I L P

    . I want hot action, , , Im numb, Im blue. I

    ;

    . S ( )

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    6

    . A -

    . T .

    CFG B. M S P S,

    . I . I

    . T .

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    7

    canada day (1)

    I C D, I .T -

    . T T- CANUCK

    CANUCK . I CD, P G

    . A P G, R D . A B ,

    C D C B. O C D, D

    B H. A R D,

    q . I

    . I q. T . W . I

    I . T , I IM

    M. W ,

    , .

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    8

    elegy or marni

    L . L . H . H G

    B. H . L

    . T . S

    .H . O

    .M, q,

    . H , ,

    . L

    . L M, .I ,

    , . I

    . H . F ,

    . T

    , . T

    . T

    , W , his. W . O

    , N MQ. U ,

    ,

    . M , moue. L

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    9

    . L . L ,

    . F ,

    . I , . A

    . I

    . C, , . Y

    . Y , . T , : . T . T

    .

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    10

    clemenzo

    I R, . A T F V, H

    R E, B( very spicy), J,

    K H A. T HR E

    J q problemo. Eq D Z S O. Look at me,look at me, I S, J,

    . Tell me more tell memore, did you get very ar, , H R E. Uh well-a well-a well-a

    huh. E ( R) ON-J C (

    C ) J T S ( ON-J Christmas Wish). M

    E S B C

    -S , . A

    . M, T B

    , R M, V,

    V, , (..

    V) BR, D Z, . H V Z B Z

    R . B , , , Z

    S . H S

    , . I J T

    , S B R,

    S. T . B,

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    11

    , , -S. M,

    S, , ( ), Z, G

    ( ), , ( )

    , , O N-J,

    . C R. C V, ,

    B S.S , S ,

    . B , tell me more tell me more, S . A ,

    T, H R, ,

    , J,

    T. B

    V, S ( Grease 2), (V) . H V

    T, , , . B (

    R) (!!!),

    V oh YAY, I get my man OH FUCK, hes about to be killed, at

    my orders, not to mention Rome (!!!). S

    - , , . A FUCK FUCK FUCK. W . P, , uh well-a-well-a-well-a-huh.

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    12

    canada day (2)

    I C D, I I . A ,I barely had a way. H . B

    , I . H

    I . I . T . A ,

    q,

    . T ,

    . H . I

    . H . A , ,

    M. H ,

    , q ,

    E. I q . H

    . A , , .

    H . I

    . W , I . H I I , I . I

    C D, .

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    13

    the grain & the grape

    T . I S B ,

    . A , , ,

    .. T S G J ( Has not your spouse with you a right to try what

    reaks he likes) T E P ( , , Im sureited, tisar too much: Pie evry day! and nothing else to touch!).

    T TS B T E P ;

    (..

    ). B S B, ,

    ? T

    ( ) . I

    T D L T L L S G,

    ( ) ,

    ,

    , , , I I . A W H

    Hamlet, T D L T L L S

    G. S E P S B. A

    , T G & G.

    Y , . T

    ,

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    14

    L L, TSS E,

    L W. I Q, , D,

    O. V M D W

    T - , ,

    , q D W G. A O,

    , q E, E ( L L)

    q . A , G-B-G P T

    both the courage o despair and the courage in and

    above every courage, ,

    E, . I minus 5, - . L ,

    . A ,

    . A , , . T q

    , q . A

    , ,

    . I , q , ,

    . S q. E . T

    I. T - q . T . T

    - 42 Below, N Z

    - q. S

    . S

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    15

    , T D L

    T L L S G,

    q . W

    . T -, , Acca sellowiana,

    , , q(. T D L), , ,

    , (. T D L).B , ,

    . A , ,

    ,

    .

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    16

    ouija

    I . O I

    , A .O I

    . I , & -

    . I .I . I B

    P S . T- 81 117. O 2.3%

    135 63. I 138 . A 138

    I - , I

    P S. M , .O ,

    , . KnocKonceifyoucanhearus. H? I ,Je, are you back

    rom Bomster, whats up with the knock thing? N. A ,

    , KnocKonce. I , .

    I -. I

    , , . A

    , , ifthisisMabel.KnocKonceifthisisMabel, KnocKtwiceifitssoMeoneelse. I . thenwhoisthis?I I O. KnocKonceifyouKnowMabel. I

    . KnocKonceifyouareinthe

    spiritworld. Y

    . I . I

    -S

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    17

    : Im making cupcakes. T . I . I have things, I , to say

    to Cathy. I O . I C .

    M, , I

    , I S . ahsay,whutstragicferyouintnecessarilytragicfer

    Me. N ,

    , .E I

    - ,

    . T q.

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    18

    jane eyre

    M . I . I

    .H . H ,

    , - . T

    . H , .I . I , .

    T , . I

    . A . N

    I . I . B q

    , . W . I . I

    I . A . I ,

    . A . A

    , I . L ,

    . S . T, ,

    . W , I

    . S . A . H . M . N

    . M .I

    . A . A , I . I

    . B, .I . I

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    19

    , I . I

    . I , . I ,

    . T . I

    . T .T .

    S . M , . I

    . T I . I , . I . I .

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    20

    couples jeopardy

    W . E , ;

    . I ,

    , JEOPARDY! I q . U

    , . S I q. U S $400. Aterthey ell asleep at the drive-in the Everly Brothers had

    this to say. W U L S, I . I q , W W U L S?

    S A T , , . In the

    psychology o learning, its the retention o association,in Cats, its a showstopping song. W

    , I q . W ? J , AT .

    G COLLEGE JEOPARDY! CELEBRITY JEOPARDY!

    COUPLES JEOPARDY! W , I I JEOPARDY! , AT

    COUPLES JEOPARDY! B , ,

    money. N

    , I COUPLES

    JEOPARDY!

    . W MQ . O

    , . O JEOPARDY!

    F ,

    , What is au jus? W , . H

    , I ,

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    21

    F. S . S ;

    -. W COUPLESJEOPARDY!, I .

    I .M . A T

    I ; B C. I

    A T. M I R L M D. R

    L . A ,So, Robin, Larry says youre amous or a very special

    party trick. R L, I am? What party

    trick? What did you tell Alex? I thought we flledout the orm together. T .

    D M . M

    I . I F P T

    H C. I ,

    A this is howit was. D F J (B), R L q q,

    q. A ?A . A R LARRY. I

    . I . T . A

    , I . N , .

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    22

    dgustation

    --ater Dante

    E . F , I

    . T . W

    . O . O . S

    . . H

    plats , . H

    . A , ,

    . I ,

    . I

    . F

    I

    . M

    . T

    , . I

    , , , I , I

    . I . Y ,

    . I ,

    , ,

    , ,

    ,

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    23

    . T , , . A

    , ,-, ;

    , , ,

    , . Y , ,

    , ooh nickel,

    . T . M , , , .

    O M G. I I .

    A, I . T, -

    , , S.O.S. A , ,

    , .

    A L , I .

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    24

    attic

    I , ,

    , , , ,

    , , ,

    . S , , , ZIP

    , , , . I ,

    , ,

    . T . T

    , , , , . H ,

    , , . T

    , , . L

    , : , ,

    . T , , , I

    . I ,

    . I , . I , . S , ,

    . T, . T . S

    . Y I . T , I

    , , . I ,

    . A I , . L -,

    ,

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    , .T ,

    . A , . D , ,

    I I , I , , , , ,

    , , .

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    some big news

    F , . T

    . I I . T

    . T . O -. H

    . H , . H I . T

    , I

    . T

    , q . M

    . H , , . H

    . I Help Wanted ,

    . N ,

    q . H . I

    , I ,

    , . T . M - -. B B,

    . M . M

    . M was , . M

    ; , ,

    . T . N

    , . I

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    , q,

    B, BF ,

    . W

    . W . Sq . I q

    . W . N

    . S . O

    . S , , . N , I

    ; . A I

    C O. I ,

    , ,

    ; , , . E, , . E

    . T q. W I , I q

    I . B

    q , , . I I ,

    I . M . M

    . T .

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    swanns way (1)

    T . H . H

    . H . A

    . I . W .

    T . I . T . I . H

    . I . I

    . S . F .

    O . I . S

    . I . S I . I I

    . I , I . B . H . S

    . I . H . S

    . A . I

    . T . T . I

    . A .

    A . T . H . T , .T . I

    . S . T . T

    . H . T . H

    . A . G . I

    I . I I . E

    . I

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    . H . B , I

    . T .

    T . I . A . A

    . M . S

    . W . B , I

    . O .D . A .

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    doubleback

    O , . S .

    S . S ,

    . W . W I

    .I . W . W .

    I P, . W

    , q . G ,

    , . W - . T

    , .T q , . I

    , . U B S,

    P, P ,

    N . Whosgot a pen, I need a pen, . I , . Y ,

    , : Ill

    give you a dollar. M , -. Ill give you fve dollars. A , . You want fve dollarsor a pen?! W ; q . Y . N

    , .

    T whos got a piece o paper? I , I .

    H ,gimme that, gimme that, thats shit,you cant read that. T

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    -

    . W ,

    C. T . A ,

    . I know what you are, ,

    q . I am,I , but hes not. Nah, . No, I , hesreally not. Im defnitely, but hes not. T . H Louies,

    Holiday Inn, , , . T ,

    , Fettucine Barberini, . T

    Barberini, T- Barberini

    . W Louies.

    W .

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    hatsuhana

    T . U -, -, -

    ( ). Ecce ,

    , ,

    q, I .T . W q, . J ,

    ,

    . I , . I .

    W , , , ,

    . A , , . D, ,

    . A , D

    . O ,

    , . A E S, ,

    ,

    . T VG ,

    . T ,

    . W , , ,

    . A

    , -,

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    q, . O koto, . Ki-cho,sujibosi,

    ,

    . Y ,

    , ,

    . R-, ,

    I , , ,

    .

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    34

    cottages

    W , ,L B, L.L. B,

    . A

    . I ,

    . E .I .

    I , . I

    . G , I

    . N ,

    . W . W , ,

    . T ,

    , , W -

    , .M

    . L

    . M

    . Brain him, brain him, , . Think o him as a puck. H . I I , I ,

    . T

    , , . T

    , . A , I , ,

    K . E C . S

    T S

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    35

    T. L S, , L B, . T

    . E , C

    . B

    , , . O M

    , , ,

    . T . I . C . T (

    A ). U , ,

    , . I , . T

    , , , .

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    disaster relie

    I G ,I . I B

    S, . E , . O

    ; -

    . I . I q . I I

    , (- , --

    , ) . T

    . T -

    . O ; .S ,

    . T Epicurious

    - . R M

    . A : . S

    . S

    . W

    . W .T . W

    , , - . W

    - .

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    huckleberry inn

    A . W . A . R .

    B . F-.B . W

    . S . W .W . M

    . W . W . S , . C

    , . B . W . A S

    . B . A , . W

    . B . R, , . L

    . I . G . I I . B . W-

    . R . B . A S . R

    . M . S . D

    . S . B . W . B

    . F-. H , . D .

    T .

    T . A . R . R . G . I . S

    . R . R .R . R . R .

    D , . S .B . W .

    A . I . Y ,

    . B . S . I .

    T I .

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    T . T . R , .

    E , . W I , I .

    W . A S . C . A

    . A , . W . W .

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    39

    its volleyball, not sexism

    R

    (.. I got it, I got it, oh

    uck). W

    . W ,

    . I A A . T

    , . I , -

    , , ,

    , , .

    I , . S , . L . L ,

    . O ( -, )

    , ,

    . I P. T ,

    , . W

    , , . I . I , . B I I

    , ,q . I , ,

    S.P D . I . T

    . I , C . I .

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    good honest guy

    I . I I

    - . I I

    . I . I

    , , , . I I

    T- . I

    , I . I . B INTJ, I

    . E , I . I !

    T I ! I . I I ,I I 20. I I

    . I . I . I ;

    . R I . I

    F. M . I ,

    , , . I

    . I q . I I F . A . I I

    , . T

    . I . C

    . I

    . C . I , ,

    3-4 . I

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    HOOKUPS I I SEX

    . I I

    .M

    I . I , .

    L I I . I . I

    I . I -,I . I I .I

    . I , . I

    . I . I M

    . I I , I . I

    I . I ,

    I My Fair Lady. I , , ! I . I - . I

    I . I . I ,

    . W ,

    . I , I

    . N I , I I

    I . I . I I . I

    . I N R . I

    , . P . I

    I I

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    . O, I I .I -. I

    20 . O I ;

    , I . I , I - . I

    -, -, ,, ,

    . I . I -

    . S, I ,I I F N.I I

    , I I . I . Y I

    . I . A

    . A , I . I - . I

    M, I .

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    swanns way (2)

    I I . A . A

    . H q. I

    . T . T

    . T , I . H

    . A . I .

    I . A .

    A . T .

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    45

    rockwell in brazil

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    q. W .

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    the apartmento tragic appliances

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    semireddo

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    sel-help

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    blanche

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    specimen day

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    rabbit

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    the house o mirth

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    gone with the wind

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    mildred pierce (pie wagon)

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    M D. S Queer

    Optimism: Lyric Personhood and Other FelicitousPersuasions (U. M P) Contingent

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