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Shortlist of important things to know about South Korea

The following shortlist is based on information from the bestselling guide: KISS, BOW or SHAKE HANDS by Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conaway. This shortlist is a selection of bullet points which will hopefully avoid some faux-pas… and that is all it is. To learn more about the Korean culture (as well as some of its history) I suggest you refer to either this or another book which covers it in more detail.

GENERAL

Korea has a distinctive language, culture and history… different to that of any of its Asian neighbors, and it is very proud of it. It is best not to confuse it with that of other Asian countries. Also, Koreans are very sensitive about Japan, so gifts from there or any references to Japan or the Japanese are considered a faux-pas.

Even if Koreans are the most straightforward of all Asians, they can be quite defensive. This is a remnant due to multiple invasions by their neighbors.

GREETINGS

Korean men greet each other with a slight bow (sometimes accompanied by a handshake) while making eye contact. To show added respect, you can support your right forearm with your left hand during the handshake.

The junior person is to initiate the greeting and be the first to bow. The senior person will be the first to offer his hand. Women rarely shake hands. Men should not try to initiate handshakes with Korean women. Western women will have to initiate a handshake with Korean men.

It is polite to greet elderly people first, and to spend a few minutes speaking with them, in sign of respect. A compliment on their good health is always appreciated.

It is best to wait to be introduced to another person at gatherings, rather than to introduce yourself, and to employ a third person if you wish to meet someone.

It is polite to address people by their title alone or together with their family name. (Example: Kim Yong-Sim would be addressed as Mr Kim, as Kim is the last name, Hyong the generational name and Sim the first name in this case)

GESTURES

Physical contact is inappropriate with older people, people of the opposite sex and people who are not good friends or family. Therefore it is wise to avoid putting your arm around another person’s shoulders.

When sitting, men should take care to keep their shoes pointing down (bet to keep feet flat on the floor). Women are permitted to cross their legs.

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To get someone’s attention, avoid signaling someone by gesturing a finger to come your way (it is considered very rude). Instead, extend your arm with your palm down and move your fingers up and down.

Blowing your nose in public is considered gauche. It is best to remove yourself from the table or crowd to do so.

DRESS CODE

Conservative clothing is the norm. Avoid revealing clothing and the colors yellow and pink.

BUSINESS PRACTICES

Punctuality is very important. Even if your counterpart is late, it is important, as a foreigner, to show respect by being on time (not only for meetings but also for social events).

Good business practice is to bow at the beginning and at the end of a meeting. An indication as to how well the meeting went is shown in the length of the bow at the end of the meeting (if it is longer than at the beginning, it means the meeting went well).

Tea is often served at the beginning of a meeting. It is a sign of good manners to accept.

Formality should be retained as long as your counterpart does. Initiating a laid back attitude should be avoided.

Modesty is very important. Therefore, make sure to enter an office or a home only when invited in, and only sit down when you are asked to be seated. It is important to be modest about your position and accomplishments and to politely refute compliments. Koreans will do the same, but will appreciate the compliment nonetheless.

Business cards are very important as they indicate your rank and define the respect you deserve in their culture. Be ready to hand out many of them… and use your right hand to offer them. If you receive a business card, avoid putting it in your wallet if this wallet will go into your back pocket. Also, avoid writing on a business card.

Koreans may ask personal questions such as how much you have paid for something or even your salary. These questions are not considered bad taste but reflect an attempt to determine your rank and status.

Avoid using red ink to write a person’s name. To many Buddhists this indicates that the person is deceased.

RANK, AGE & RELATIONSHIPS

When entering a group meeting, people of your organization should enter the room in order of importance (highest rank first). The Koreans will do the same.

Showing respect to hierarchy and age are very important in the Korean culture. It goes so far as not to place any objects or papers on manager’s desks. They are very territorial about them.

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Building strong relationships are important in doing business with South Koreans, as your counterpart will be “selling” your ideas to his or her superiors/organization. As rank and age are very important, it is often easier to establish rapport with a business person your own age.

Traditional values run very deep, especially in the older generation. You may find young executives easier to negotiate with as they are more open to western culture and globalization.

The elderly will expect to be treated with respect, and to be acknowledged first in the group. Smoking and wearing sunglasses when they are near is not appreciated. When meeting in a doorway, the older person should be allowed to go through first.

Too much eye contact can be interpreted as a form of anger or hostility. The lower the rank, the less eye contact is made with a superior. As a general rule, two people of same rank will look at each other only about half of the time.

THE MEANING OF THINGS

Business tends to take place at a slower pace. Delays in decision making are often a negotiation tactic, to wear down the other side. Also, do not expect rapid replies when leaving phone messages as Korean employees are protective of their employer’s harmony and will make sure they time their intervention just right.

Negotiations will be more emotional than in Western countries. Mutual trust and compatibility are the basis of a good business relationship. Even if Koreans can be direct and may show anger and frustration, it is important to stay calm and not to take everything said too seriously.

Patience for extensive questioning is important. If silence persists it could well be that your counterpart did not understand you. If this happens, it is best to rephrase your sentence or ask if more information would be useful, (but not to ask if they understood, to avoid embarrassment on their side).

When negotiating, Koreans will expect to meet in the middle, so they will start off with an extreme position.

A “yes” or nod of the head means “maybe” or “I understand”.”

“Maybe” usually means “no”, as Koreans like to avoid brute honesty and will often give the answer they think the other wants to hear. A negative response is sometimes visible through a squint of the eyes or tipping back of the head while inhaling through the teeth, waiting for you to speak again.

The end of a meeting is usually indicated by the return to social chitchat.

Not losing face is very important. It is best to avoid embarrassing another person, especially in public. Therefore it is best not to criticize anyone (even competition) or admit that you do not know the answer to a question.

If you overly admire an object belonging to another person, he or she may feel obliged to give it to you, so it is best not to be too enthusiastic making such compliments.

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ENTERTAINMENT PROTOCOL

Remove your shoes when entering a Korean home, restaurant or temple building. Leave them with the toes pointing towards the building. When putting them back on, avoid sitting with your back towards the building.

It is common to be invited to a bar or to dinner after business hours, with lots of alcohol. Koreans use these invitations to establish informal relationships and possibly express more direct opinions. It is important to accept these invitations.

The person who invites the other is expected to pay for the meal. It is polite for the younger to pay for the older. A good-natured argument over who will pay is expected.

When sitting on the floor for a meal, men should cross their legs. Both men and women can sit with their legs to the side but not straightened out under the table.

An attempt to use chopsticks will be appreciated. When finished, it is important to place them on their rest. Avoid placing them on top of your bowl, parallel, as it is considered a sign of bad luck… and leaving them sticking out of the rice is considered bad taste (this is how offerings are made to ancestors).

To pass food, use your right hand, supported by your left.

It is polite to refill your neighbor’s cup and soy sauce bowl when empty.

If you do not want a refill, do not finish your glass.

Food should always go from the serving dish into your plate, before going into your mouth. Avoid using fingers (even for fruit).

At a meal, it is important not to finish your plate. It would indicate that you are still hungry and that the host did not provide enough for you. The host will offer more food a number of times. It is best to refuse twice before accepting more.

After a meal there may be singing. It is impolite to refuse to sing if you are asked.