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Quarterback Sneak by Max Page Max Page COPYRIGHT 2008

Quarterback Sneak

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Saving one student at a time.

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Page 1: Quarterback Sneak

Quarterback Sneak

byMax Page

Max PageCOPYRIGHT 2008

Page 2: Quarterback Sneak

FADE IN:

EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

Resembles a prison. STUDENTS fill the scene.

MITCH (V.O.)This is Bayview High. Home of the sea urchins. Or as I like to call it, Stalag 13.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

A TEACHER lectures and violently waves her ruler.

MITCH (V.O.)Whether it’s the strict classrooms, the detention, or the so-called gruel they feed us in the cafeteria, you’d think we were Prisoners of War.

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

PRINCIPAL BENJAMIN GRAHAM, (60), think Teddy Roosevelt, tirelessly reads papers at his desk.

MITCH (V.O.)Unfortunately, our Head Principal is constantly preoccupied with busywork from the board of education... thus, leaving us in the hands of his second in command.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

A mound of gruel is slopped on a STUDENT’S tray. He walks past to reveal VICE PRINCIPAL SHERMAN NAUGHTS, (40’s), a man with pointed-features, thin mustache, greased-back hair and a pompous look. He surveys the cafeteria.

MITCH (V.O.)And here he is, Bayview’s infamous Komandant. Vice Principal Sherman S. Naughts, or as I like to call him, the Nazi, or S.S. for short.

Naughts grabs a KID by the collar, sticks out his hand and slaps him upside the head causing him to spit out his gum. He puts the gum in the kid’s pocket and pats it closed.

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MITCH (V.O.)He runs this school strict with an iron fist. He’s mean, he’s cruel, you even look at this guy wrong and he’ll put you in detention.

Naughts wrangles two more KIDS and takes their names down on a note pad.

MITCH (V.O.)There’s a myth that he used to lock kids in his office and torture them until they dropped a level in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. Unfortunately, it’s never been proven. He is the sole evil of Bayview High, and makes sure nobody gets away with anything. Which is exactly why I’ve assembled a posse of friends to mess with the system. Meet the crew.

INT. STUDY HALL - DAY

STUDENTS shout numbers before CHESTER, (17), short, blond-hair and a baseball cap. He draws a betting chart on the white board.

MITCH (V.O.)This is Chester, also known as Central Intelligence. It is his job to know every person, event, schedule, and when, why and how they are happening. He also runs our underground betting system. All wagers ranging from new substitute teachers to Mr. Flanagan's toupee, he’s the guy to talk to.

EXT. LUNCH TABLES - DAY

A crowd of STUDENTS surround BLACKIE, (18), black hat and a long dark overcoat. He performs card tricks for the other students while taking their crinkled-up dollars.

MITCH (V.O.)Meet Blackie Roberts, our walking black market. Anything you need in or outside of a Chinese flea market at Christmas time, he’s got it.

2.

(MORE)

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On Tuesdays he smuggles in baby chinchillas and sells them for 50 bucks a pop. Don’t ask me how.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

IAN, (17), a skinny Asian kid with glasses types on his computer. One screen shows him ripping software, on the other he plays solitaire.

MITCH (V.O.)Ian, code name, “Ianator.” He may not look like much, but he’s the only guy I know that can solve a Rubiks cube in 30 seconds flat. He accidently hacked into the CIA when he was 12 and is convinced they’ve been keeping tabs on him ever since.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

STUDENTS disperse to reveal MITCH MCCOOL, (17), resembles Johnny Quest. Almost everyone greets him. He waves, shaking hands with a few and fist bumping others.

MITCH (V.O.)And this is me. Mitch McCool. I sorta run the show, make up the plans and do the dirty work. I currently hold the record for 182 consecutive hours of detention. But all in all I’m just your average guy at your not-so-average high school.

Mitch opens his locker and fishes through. Inside are stacks of tests, teachers’ manuals, campus books, and comics. In the back is an insignia of a D+ with a circle around it.

MITCH (V.O.)Together, my team and I form the D-Team, where we serve and protect our fellow colleagues from detention and the evil dictatorship behind it.

Chester runs up.

CHESTERMitch.

3.

MITCH (V.O.) (CONT'D)

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MITCHHey, Chest, what do you got for me?

CHESTERYou want the good or the bad news first?

MITCHEither.

CHESTERGood news is, we found the mutated rats we let loose in the cafeteria last month.

MITCHAlright.

CHESTERYeah. Bad news is, they had babies. Lots of babies.

Mitch cracks a smile. Closes his locker.

MITCHWho knows, maybe they’ll go ratatouille on us and make the cafeteria food worth eating.

CHESTERAh, that reminds me.

From his pocket Chester unfolds a yellow flyer that reads, “FREE LUNCH! WELCOME ALL HOMELESS TO THE BAYVIEW HIGH CAFETERIA!”

CHESTER (CONT’D)By lunch the entire cafeteria with filled to the brim with as many hobos, bums and transients as you can count.

MITCHHa. Good. Maybe that’ll give the school an idea about how we feel about their food. Besides, if the students aren’t gonna eat that glop, then we’ll just give it to people who will.

Chester pulls out his note pad.

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CHESTERWell said. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a couple of bets to place for tomorrows big game.

MITCHOoo, hey put me down for five hundred says Lackley scores the winning touchdown.

CHESTERFeeling lucky are we?

Mitch smiles then turns to round the corner. He passes LLOYD, (40’s), the tall, lanky janitor.

MITCHHey, Lloyd.

LLOYDHi, Mitch.

Mitch stops and turns around.

MITCHOh, hey, before I forget. Me and the boys chipped in and bought you a new mop. I know it’s not much, but it’s the least we could do.

(beat)And Lloyd..... happy birthday.

A look of surprise and grace comes over Lloyd’s face. We get the idea no one had told him that all day.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - LATER

Dimly lit. Everything is pristine and neatly in order. Mitch sits relaxed in a chair eating a muffin. Naughts angrily paces before him.

NAUGHTSTell me, Mr. McCool. Do you find filling the cafeteria with homeless people funny?

MITCHYou know, I really can’t say, sir. But I do believe whoever did it, was just trying to do a good deed.

Naughts waves a yellow flyer in the air.

5.

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NAUGHTSDon’t play coy with me boy. I know it was you.

MITCHMe? Now what would give you that idea? You have any proof?

Naughts snarls and whips around. He thrusts the flyer in Mitch’s face, indicating the small D+ insignia.

NAUGHTSI believe this is your alleged crest?

Mitch stares hard.

MITCHHmmm, it does look somewhat familiar.

Naughts notices muffin crumbs all over. Tries to hold calm.

NAUGHTSOf course, of course... I may not be able to prove your hijinx and pranks, but I’ll win the war, McCool. I always do.

(beat)You see, unfortunately only the Head Principal is able to expel students without probable cause... but I have other ways of making you hurt.

Naughts reveals a folder with Mitch’s name.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)I’ve noticed you’ve applied to several very prestigious colleges. Princeton, Yale, Stanford... It would be a shame if you didn’t get in.

Mitch stops eating. His face becomes stern.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)I would hate to have to make a few calls. Possibly, give a bad reference...

MITCH...Wait a minute, you can’t just--

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NAUGHTSOh, but I can. To you, I may just be the Vice Principal, but I own this school. I can make your life a living hell.

Naughts stands tall before Mitch.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)You step out of line one more time, McCool, and not only will you not get into college, but I’ll see to it that the only job you’ll ever get is flipping burgers like the degenerate you really are.

Naughts leans in face to face with Mitch.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)...I win.

Mitch clenches his jaw. Naughts casually walks back to his desk and begins sharpening pencils.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)I know your kind, McCool. I know all bout your little team and your “underground betting.” It’s just too bad I had to put your star quarterback, Lackley, in detention this week.

(off Mitch’s look)Oooo, I sure hope you didn’t have any money riding on that game. Pity. Looks as though you and your peasants will have to scrounge a buck someplace else.

INT. OFFICE ROOMS - SAME

Mitch exits frustrated. He passes Lloyd putting in a trash can liner.

NAUGHTS O.S.Lloyd. A moment please.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

Naughts motions for Lloyd to close the door behind him.

LLOYDSir?

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Page 9: Quarterback Sneak

NAUGHTSI need you to do me a favor.

(beat)I want you to keep close watch on the student that was just in here, Mitch McCool. Something tells me he’s going to pull another one of his pranks, and if all goes well... he’ll fall right into my trap.

LLOYD...But sir, I really don’t think--

NAUGHTSDo you have any idea how easily replaceable a janitor is, Lloyd?

(beat)Now, are you up to the task, or shall I find someone else?

Defeated, Lloyd nods his head.

INT. LOCKER ROOMS - DAY

Mitch paces before Chester, Blackie and Ian.

IANI don’t know, Mitch. Maybe we should let it go.

MITCHNo, this time he’s gone too far. We can do this. It’s just another detention breakout. And there’s no way I’m not about to lose five hundred bucks on a sure win.

CHESTERLook, Mitch, maybe I could scratch your wager. I’ll pull a few strings and it’ll be like you never made the bet.

MITCHNo, thanks, Chest, but unlike our Vice Principal, I play by the rules. Blackie, you think can print up a couple “get out of detention free cards?”

BLACKIEDone.

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Chester flips open his note pad.

CHESTERWe’re also gonna need to write Lackley a fake essay. According to this, detention requires students to have one finished by the end of--

IANShh... someone’s coming.

FOOTSTEPS nearby. Lloyd appears, mopping as he goes.

MITCH...It’s just Lloyd.

CHESTERAlright, then we’re gonna have to find someone to do the bust out.

BLACKIEWhat happened to Simmons?

CHESTERWent home sick. Ate something from the cafeteria.

MITCHWhat about Ritter?

Chester gives him a look.

MITCH (CONT’D)...Well, looks like it’s on me then.

Lloyd leans in to listen.

MITCH (CONT’D)So it’s settled. Tomorrow at sixth period. I’ll bust Lackley out of detention.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Lloyd stands in the doorway. Naughts looks up from his desk.

LLOYD(ashamed)

Tomorrow. Sixth period. He’s planning a breakout.

9.

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Naughts leans back into his chair and clasps his hands together.

NAUGHTSAnd so the trap is set.

EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

TITLE: NEXT DAY

The bell RINGS and STUDENTS make way.

INT. OFFICE ROOMS - DAY

Naughts exits his office. His secretary, MRS ULM, (30’s), files papers.

NAUGHTSMrs. Ulm, just a reminder, I can’t have any interferences during sixth period today. I have some detention watching to do.

MRS. ULMYes, sir.

INT. FACULTY BATHROOM - DAY

Naughts enters straightening his cuffs. He stops in his tracks at the sight of Mitch shaving.

NAUGHTS(trying to keep calm)

Mr. McCool. This is a faculty bathroom only. You should know you’re not allowed in here.

Mitch notices him in the mirror. He continues to shave.

MITCHOh hey, Sherman.

Naughts’ face contorts slightly.

MITCH (CONT’D)How’s it going?... Yeah, I know, but the door was open and it’s a lot nicer in here than the others.

Mitch stops shaving. Turns to face him.

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MITCH (CONT’D)Say listen, what’s the deal with you putting Jake in detention? How are we supposed to win the big game now?

Naughts gives a crooked smile and advances. He pulls out a comb and slicks back his greasy hair.

NAUGHTS(sarcastic)

Ooh, I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your precious football game.

Mitch begins washing his face.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)Of course, now that I installed a video camera inside the detention room. There’s really no need for me to stand guard...

Mitch freezes.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)... that is unless, you’ve forgotten about yesterdays talk.

(beat)Accept it, McCool, you can’t beat me.

Mitch clenches his fists. Turns off the faucet.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)And I would appreciate it if you would address me as Vice Principal Naughts. I believe I’ve earned the title.

Mitch stands up straight. Dries his face. Calms himself.

MITCHYeah listen, that’s great, Sherm, but if you don’t mind, this is sort of my home period and I have more important matters to attend to.

Mitch starts toward the door.

NAUGHTSDon’t think you can get away with anything, McCool. I’m watching you and your little--

11.

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The door SLAMS shut behind Mitch.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Flustered, Mitch dials his phone. He rushes over to a barred window and looks in.

IN THE DETENTION ROOM

A WORKER installs a security camera.

MITCH(to himself)

Not good.(on phone)

Chester, it’s Mitch. Assemble an emergency meeting.

INT. LOCKER ROOMS - DAY

Ian and Chester hurry in. Mitch is in deep thought.

IANHey we’re here, what’s the deal?

MITCHWhere’s Blackie?

CHESTERWasn’t answering his phone. What’s up?

Mitch rubs the back of his neck and sighs.

MITCHHe put in a camera.

IANWhat?

CHESTERWho did?

MITCHNaughts. He put a security cam in the detention room.

(beat)It’s almost like he knew I was gonna make the breakout.

Chester looks over his notes.

12.

Page 14: Quarterback Sneak

CHESTERThat’s impossible. I would have known. How’d you find out?

MITCHHe told me. Besides, I saw them putting it in.

Ian and Chester exchange looks.

IANLook man, he’s just trying to bait you. He wants you to make the break out so he can finally get the proof he needs.

Mitch doesn’t answer. He begins to pace.

IAN (CONT’D)Mitch, don’t do it. If you get caught you’ll risk getting into college. We’re talking about your future here.

CHESTERYeah but if he doesn’t--

MITCHI know. I know. I’m out five hundred bucks.

Silence. Mitch comes to a stop.

MITCH (CONT’D)I’m gonna do it.

IAN...Mitch, drop the pride.

MITCHIt’s not about pride... Not this time. This guy has been pushing around students for too long. It’s time someone pushed back.

Mitch stops to think.

MITCH (CONT’D)Ian. The video camera probably feeds directly into Naughts’ office monitor. If I can somehow get you in there, you think you can knock it out?

13.

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IAN(hesitant)

Sure but, my equipment would have to be within at least ten feet of his television just to catch a signal. And he’s got that office on lockdown, you know that.

They all sit down.

CHESTER(light bulb)

Wait a minute. Ian, you have Calculus sixth period.

IANSo?

CHESTERCalculus has a substitute teacher today.

IAN...And?

CHESTERThat classroom runs perpendicular to Naughts’ office. The air ducts run right above them.

IANYou want me to crawl through the school vents?

Mitch’s eyes light up.

MITCHNo, not you. But I bet Blackie’s got something that can.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

The TEACHER lectures. No one pays attention.

TEACHERAnd if you look at this equation, you can see it’s mathematical analysis. Starting with Q radical a b, the logarithm--

Door opens to reveal a KID with a slip of paper.

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KIDHi, sorry. I’m with the school newspaper. I need to borrow Blackie Roberts.

The teacher looks over her glasses and points at Blackie.

Blackie packs up his stuff and walks out.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Mitch leans against the wall. The kid exits with Blackie behind.

MITCHHey, thanks again.

KIDYou got it, Mitch.

Kid walks off. Blackie notices Mitch.

BLACKIEHey, what’s up?

MITCHI need some equipment.

BLACKIEName it.

Mitch looks over his notes.

MITCHWell, looks like Mrs. Bramble is running detention this week, so I’m gonna need the usual.

Blackie opens his trench coat. Watches, rings and other apparel. A large flap falls down to reveal several glasses.

BLACKIEWhat color?

Mitch smiles and takes a pair.

MITCHAlso, I need one of those remote controlled cars you’re always selling behind school.

15.

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BLACKIEOoo sorry, Mitch. Just sold my last one this morning.

MITCHWhat!? Well, can’t you get it back?

BLACKIESorry, man. I don’t know the guy. Besides, you know my policy, no refunds.

Mitch sighs. Rubs his forehead.

BLACKIE (CONT’D)What’d you need one for anyway?

MITCHWe needed it to move through the air ducts.

BLACKIE...So all you need is something that can move through the school vents?

MITCHYeah.

Blackie thinks it over, gives a “yeah that’s do-able look.”

BLACKIEWhy not use my little Taquito?

Mitch raises an eyebrow.

BLACKIE (CONT’D)My dog. I mean he’s no radio controlled car but, he’s pretty well-trained.

Mitch thinks it over. Dials his phone.

MITCHIan. It’s Mitch... Change of plans.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Ian waltzes down the hall wearing huge black sunglasses. He holds a small Chihuahua, TAQUITO, at the reins. Taquito wears a bright yellow vest that reads “SEEING EYE DOG.”

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INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

Ian enters with Taquito. He waves one arm around, feeling his surroundings in a blind person fashion.

The entire classroom looks at him, some laughing, others confused. The SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, (40’s), turns around. She is taken aback at the sight.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHEROh, uh, excuse me, young man, but this is Calculus.

Ian pretends to find where the voice came from.

IANYes I know. My name is Ian Wong. I’m on the roster.

Confused, she looks over her roster to confirm.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER(yelling as if he were deaf)

Oh... yes of course. Please, take your seat.

Ian shuffles around for a seat. Taquito runs the opposite way but Ian yanks him in the right direction.

The teacher fumbles her papers. She doesn’t know what to make of the situation. She focuses her attention to an equation on the board.

Ian pulls a small knapsack with wires and gizmos from his backpack. Straps it to Taquito along with a bluetooth. He looks up at the open air duct above. Students watch in awe as Taquito is thrown into the ventilation system with a YIP!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER (CONT’D)What was that?

IANUh, I have to let my dog out... To go to the bathroom...

INT. AIR DUCT - DAY

Taquito stands alone in a long dark vent.

17.

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INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

INTERCUT BLACKIE AND TAQUITO

Blackie types at the computer. Chester sits next to him.

BLACKIEAnd...lights...camera...action.

The flashlight, camera and bluetooth on Taquito turn on.

Blackie’s monitor now has visualization of the vent. He and Chester exchange excited looks. Blackie leans into a small mic resting near the computer.

BLACKIE (CONT’D)Okay, Taquito, mush.

Taquito advances down the air duct.

Blackie leans back in his chair and smiles.

BLACKIE (CONT’D)See. I told you, I got this down.

Taquito’s flashlight catches a glimpse of something moving. A RAT scurries past. Taquito gives a loud YELP!

INT. ANOTHER CLASROOM - CONTINUOUS

STUDENTS glance up at the ceiling in confusion.

BACK TO INTERCUT

Blackie jumps back to the mic.

BLACKIE(on mic)

Taquito! No! Bad dog!...(re: Chester)

What the heck was that?

CHESTERLooked like a rat...a mutated one.

Chester gives a stern look, then points at the screen.

CHESTER (CONT’D)Okay, that vent lies directly above Naughts’ office. Have Taquito drop the transmitter there.

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INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts sips coffee at his desk.

BACK TO INTERCUT

BLACKIE(on mic)

That’s far enough, Taquito. Stay. Good, now sit.

Taquito sits. Electronic BEEPS and BOOPS. A small bunny-ear-like gizmo falls from his knapsack onto a grated vent.

BLACKIE (O.S.) (CONT’D)Good boy! Now come on back.

Blackie and Chester exchange celebration looks. Meanwhile, their monitor screen shows live feed of the camera spinning.

CHESTERWhoa, what’s going on? What’s wrong with the camera.

Taquito circles the vent.

Blackie takes a closer look. His face becomes rigid.

BLACKIEOh no.

CHESTERWhat? Does he not know how to get back?

Taquito squats to poop.

Chester slaps Blackie’s shoulder.

CHESTER (CONT’D)I thought you said he was trained?!

BLACKIEWell, semi-trained... I knew I shouldn’t of fed him those organic plumbs.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts smells something foul. Thinks it’s his coffee. He notices Lloyd changing a trash can liner outside the office.

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NAUGHTSLloyd. Shouldn’t you be cleaning those bathrooms?

EXT. SCHOOL WALLS - MOMENTS LATER

Mitch watches a pizza delivery truck pull to the curb.

MITCH(on phone)

Ianator, I’m in position. How did it go?

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Now Ian sits at his computer with Taquito in hand.

IAN(on phone)

You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts pours himself a new cup of coffee. He sits down and watches his desk monitor. It displays a live feed of the detention room.

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

The security cam beams down on class. MRS. BRAMBLE, (70’s), a chubby, awkward lady clumsily shuffles papers.

MRS. BRAMBLE...And I expect a full essay by the end of the day.

STUDENTS grumble. JAKE LACKLEY, a kid with a letterman’s jacket blankly stares at the wall.

EXT. SCHOOL WALLS - DAY

Mitch pays a PIZZA DELIVERY BOY, (19), and points directions for him. Dials his phone.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Ian types on his computer while on his phone.

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MITCH (O.S.)You ready?

IANYep.

MITCH (O.S.)T minus, and counting, 10,9,8,7,6..

Ian’s finger hovers above the right arrow key.

MITCH (O.S.) (CONT’D)5,4,3,2,1.. and Go!

INT. AIR DUCT - DAY

The bunny-ear-like gizmo turns on.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts’ monitor changes channels to a cartoon show.

He spills coffee all over himself. Slaps the monitor. What’s the matter?

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

KNOCK at the door. Opens to reveal the pizza delivery boy.

EXT. DETENTION ROOM WINDOW - DAY

Mitch crouches outside the window, still on the phone.

MITCHThat’s my cue. Gotta go.

Mitch pulls a baseball cap from his backpack. Puts it on.

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

Mrs. Bramble is udderly confused.

PIZZA DELIVERY BOYLook lady, I was told to deliver a pizza to this exact room. You gonna pay for it or what?

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MRS. BRAMBLE(stammering)

Uh, no, but I didn’t... Jake, would you mind holding this?

Mrs. Bramble heads back to her desk to find her purse.

Jake retrieves it. The pizza delivery boy mouths “underneath” to Jake and points at the pizza.

Jake opens the box at his desk. The pepperonis form a downward arrow. Underneath the pizza is an essay with his name on it. He is amazed. Looks over to the window to see Mitch waving.

PIZZA DELIVERY BOYLady come on! I don’t got all day.

Mrs. Bramble fumbles through her purse.

The window CREAKS as Jake lets Mitch in. Mitch motions for Jake’s jacket. He puts it on and Jake exits.

Mitch swaps a large pair of coke-bottle glasses on Mrs. Bramble’s desk with her own. He sits back down in Jake’s seat and lowers his hat to disguise his face.

Mrs. Bramble pays the pizza delivery boy and walks back to her desk.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Ian watches the clock.

IANThat oughta do it.

He hits the escape key on his computer.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

The monitor returns to its normal feed. Naughts eases up.

LATER

Naughts looks at the clock. 3:50. He stretches and yawns.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Chester and Blackie rejoin Ian.

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CHESTERTen more minutes and we’re home free.

Ian’s monitor glitches and begins uploading.

BLACKIEWhat’s going on?

IAN...I don’t know. I’m losing the uploaded footage from earlier. He must have some sort of backup disk.

BLACKIEThat doesn’t sound good.

IAN(panicked sarcasm)

...Ya think?

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts’ monitor uploads earlier footage of the detention breakout. He watches in disbelief. Delight comes across his face. His monitor resumes to real-time. STUDENTS begin to leave.

NAUGHTSOh no, McCool. Not this time.

He rushes out.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Ian calls Mitch. Gets his voicemail.

IANMitch! It’s Ian. Naughts has the footage. Get out of there!

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

Mitch hands Mrs. Bramble the sauce stained essay. He leans down to sign Jake out.

She grabs the coke-bottle glasses and puts them on. Her vision becomes increasingly blurry as she reacts in confusion. She can’t figure out what is wrong with her vision. She looks over the paper, then up at Mitch, whom she can barely make out.

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MRS. BRAMBLEVery well then, Jake. You may go.

Mitch nods and begins to leave.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Mitch exits. A piece of pizza hangs from his mouth. Naughts arrives in a fit.

MITCHHeeey, Sherm! Whoa, you should really get that stain out before it settles.

(off Naughts’ expression)Relax big guy. Grab yourself a slice of pizza. That’ll put a smile on your face.

Naughts grabs Mitch’s backpack. Opens it to reveal Jake’s hat and jacket. Grabs him by the collar and pulls him into

INT. DETENTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Naughts effortlessly drags Mitch inside.

NAUGHTSMrs. Bramble! Are you aware that the wool has yet again been pulled over your eyes!

Naughts turns in anger but is taken aback by Mrs. Bramble’s large coke-bottled eyes. She is clearly having trouble seeing.

MRS. BRAMBLEWhat ever do you mean, uh, Mr. Naughts, Vice Principal, sir?

NAUGHTSI’m talking about Lackley. They snuck him out right under your nose.

MRS. BRAMBLE...I don’t understand. He was here the whole time. He just turned in his essay.

She holds up the essay. Naughts turns an irritated eye on Mitch.

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INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY

Ian watches the scene in the detention room take place on his computer.

He thinks fast and plugs a few cables into the intercom at the front of the room and ferociously begins typing on his computer.

IANI sure hope this works.

THE SCHOOL SPEAKERS IN THE HALLWAY

NAUGHTS (O.S.)You insignificant little prick! Did you really think you could get away with fooling me?

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Principal Graham stops reading to listen.

NAUGHTS (O.S.)I own this school! The only reason anything gets done is because of me!

INT. OFFICE ROOMS/EXT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Lloyd grabs a few cleaning supplies from his cart. Naughts’ monitor catches his eye. He sighs as he watches Mitch get laid into.

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

Naughts releases Mitch. Points up at the security cam.

NAUGHTSDid you think that I was just going to let you waltz in here and pull another one of your little shows? Well think again, McCool. Smile. Because now I finally have the proof I need to expel your scrawny--

CREAK. Jake climbs in through the window. Panic comes across his face at the sight of Naughts.

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NAUGHTS (CONT’D)And you! Ooo ho! You’ll be lucky if you ever see a football field again!

Naughts stomps over and grabs Jake tightly by the arm. He looks down to see a wad of cash sticking out of his back pocket. Reaches down and flaps it in Jake’s face.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)And what’s this. Looks like someone’s not just in it for the game!

Principal Graham bursts in to see Naughts with a student in one hand, money in the other.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)...Principal Graham?! This isn’t what it looks like.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMOh no? Care to explain?

Naughts releases Jake and tosses the money aside.

NAUGHTSBen. You don’t understand. These kids have been breaking the rules for years. They’ve been running an underground betting system right under your nose. I finally caught them in the act, and I have the proof to show you.

Naughts points at the security cam.

Lloyd steps out from behind Principal Graham. He holds up a ruined VHS tape with its guts hanging out.

LLOYDYou mean this?

Naughts’ face turns ghost white, then boils with rage.

NAUGHTS(to Lloyd)

You imbecile! You’re fired!(to Mitch)

And you! I don’t care what it takes, your ass it mine! You’ll be lucky if you get accepted into junior college!

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Principal Graham steps in between Mitch and Naughts.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMNow wait just a minute, Sherman. You’re running a fine line with this temper.

Principal Graham turns to Mitch.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAM (CONT’D)Mr. McCool, this... underground betting, is it true?

Mitch searches for words. Silence. Another STUDENT stands.

STUDENTI know I’ve never heard of it.

STUDENT #2Me either.

STUDENT #3If you ask me, Naughts has lost it.

Several more STUDENTS chime in.

Naughts’ rage reaches an all-time high.

NAUGHTSThey’re lying! They’re all lying! Of course they’re gonna side with him!

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMI’m sorry, Sherman, but even I don’t know anything about--

NAUGHTSBut that’s just it! You don’t know anything that goes on in this school. You’re just a fat, blubbering idiot!

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMNow hold it right there! I didn’t go through ten years of extended education just to be told off by some grease ball in a suit... I should have done this a long time ago...

(beat)You’re fired!

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NAUGHTSFired!?

Nobody can believe it. Excitement runs across their faces.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMLloyd, how’d you like to be our new vice principal?

LLOYD...Sure.

NAUGHTSYou can’t be serious! I’m the only one that does his job around here -- Fine, I don’t need any proof. I know the real story, and you better believe...

Naughts notices Jake’s essay.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)...Wait a minute...

He rushes over. Flips through. Pizza sauce on the last page. Opens the pizza box. The pepperonis are assembled in a smiley face. Naughts boils with rage and YELLS!

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The sound of Naughts’ yelling can faintly be heard over the final school bell. Mitch counts a wad of cash and smiles.

FADE OUT.

28.