Padua Bugle

YOUR DAILY DOSE OF PADUA GOSSIP!! JANUARY 29, 2012

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Bianca, the affable and kind daughter of Baptista, has suitors working hard! In contrast to her more insolent sister, she is virtuous and good-natured. Because of her kind personality and beauty, she has suitors lining up, asking her father for her hand in marriage. Those men being Hortensio and Gremio.

But unfortunately, none of them seemed to charm her. That is, until the charming young Lucentio came and beguiled her. Just his effort alone seemed to make Bianca fall for him.

But then there were the others suitors, Hortensio and Gremio. Gremio, old as he was, obviously did not make him seem appealing to Bianca. And Hortensio did not know how to woo a lady, and was not a likely candidate either. But then the issue was how to get rid of them so that Lucentio would be the victorious suitor...?

Continued on page 3.

DisguisesThat’s right, the news has

finally reached Baptista Minola about the suitors, lurking disguised in his own estate! Seek his

beautiful daughter, the group managed to invade

his home just to get a shot at courting her. It

wasn’t until his daughter,

Bianca Minola, had fallen in love with one of the

secret suitors that he re-alized what was happen-ing right under his nose.

-Continued on page 9

BIANCA AND HER SUITORS

IS THE SHREW TAMED?!That and more in this weeks issue!

PADUA BUGLE


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Shrew-like Katherine Minola, daughter of Bap-tista Minola, was to be married to the wanton Petruchio of Verona. But the only problem was Katherine despised him. With his insolent be-havior, lies, and greed, she was not looking forward to this wedding!

It was hate at first sight when these two met. As soon as these two “lovebirds” saw each other, they erupted into argument and insults. But then, the ruffian that Petruchio is, told Baptista how he was so hopelessly in love with Katherine and wanted to marry her. Bap-tista, convinced by Petruchio and all of Bi-anca’s suitors that there was no other man with such a love for his daughter, said they were to marry on Sunday.

On Katherine and Petruchio’s wedding on Sunday - there is no groom! Katherine, as humiliated as she be, said “ No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced. To give my hand, opposed against my heart, Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen, Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure. I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior, And, to be noted for a

merry man, He’ll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, Make friends, invite, and proclaim the banns, Yet never means to wed where he hath wooed. Now must the world point at poor Katherine And say, ‘Look, there is mad Petruchio’s wife, If it would please him come and marry her!’” (Act 3, Scene 2).

Oh, but little did she know, Petruchio would arrive late to his own wedding, dressed in ha-biliments for a fool! No matter the clothes, though, Baptista is still wants to have Kather-ine wed to Petruchio. “I am glad he’s come, howsoe'er he comes,” (Act 3, Scene 2) says the old man, speaking of Petruchio.

Katherina and Petruchio were married, and Katherine left to live a very tiresome, hungry, and submissive life with her husband...

-Amelia Premfors

THE DISASTROUS WEDDING

AVAILABLE NOW!


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BIANCA AND HER SUITORS

Started on page 1.

Bianca, the affable and kind daughter of Baptista, has suitors working hard! In contrast to her more insolent sister, she is virtuous and good-natured. Because of her kind personality and beauty, she has suitors lining up, asking her father for her hand in marriage. Those men being Hortensio and Gremio.

But unfortunately, none of them seemed to charm her. That is, until the charming young Lucentio came and beguiled her. Just his effort alone seemed to make Bianca fall for him.

But then there were the others suitors, Hortensio and Gremio. Gremio, old as he was, obviously did not make him seem appealing to Bianca. And Hortensio did not know how to woo a lady, and was not a likely candidate either. But then the issue was how to get rid of them so that Lucentio would be the victorious suitor...?

Lucentio, son of Vincentio, was just a young man ready to get started in life by going to university when he came across the lovely Bianca. He describes Bi-anca, “Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move. And with her breath she did perfume the air. Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.” (Act 1, Scene 1). He was falling hopelessly in love with her and knew that he had to marry her.

His plan was to get his ruffian servant, Tranio, to pre-tend to be him while he, Lucentio, would disguise

himself as a Latin tutor to get close to Bianca. And all this would be done behind oblivious Vincentio’s back.

His plans did indeed get the beautiful Bianca to fall for him.

Another one of Bianca’s suitors would be the hope-less romantic, Hortensio. He disguises himself as a music tutor, like Lucentio. Though Lucentio was able to charm Bianca, Hortensio did not have such luck.

Then comes Tranio (disguised as Lucentio) and they find Lucentio and Bianca together. “Mistake no more. I am not Litio, Nor a musician as I seem to be, But one that scorn to live in this disguise For such a one as leaves a gentleman, And makes a god of such a cullion. Know, sir, that I am called Hortensio.” (Act 4, Scene 2) Hortensio, whom is shocked by this discov-ery, gives up and goes off to marry a widow.

The last of Bianca’s suitors would be the old Gremio. Now, this greedy old man wants Bianca for the money. He sticks a while in the competition, that is until it is down to him and Lucentio.

In order for Lucentio to be able to marry Bianca, Lu-centio must prove to Baptista his father approves of this marriage. If he cannot, then Bianca is all Gre-mio’s...

-Amelia Premfors

ONLY ONE AVAILABLE!


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Much has gone on in Padua this week, from the nuptials of the sister socialites Bianca and Katherine, to how Lucentio got Bianca without his father’s bidding. So it finally happened, the infamous Katherine Minola has finally wed, to the delight of her father Baptista. Her infa-mous personality has also been quelled by her supposed gold digger hubby Petruchio, accord-ing to a spokesman for the Minola family. In other Minola family news, the beautiful Bianco tied the knot with her boyfriend, the charming Lucentio. At the lavish wedding, it was ru-mored that she defied her new husband, sparking a heated debate as to whether this was her sisters doing. Additionally, their new reality TV show, The Minola’s take Padua is débuting tonight at 8 pm GMT. The show, whose pilot episode has been in production for months, is expected to bring in some much needed publicity to the sisters father, Bap-tista’s production company. For this weeks edi-tion of the Padua Hearsay that is all we have, but be sure to reads next weeks edition, the Minola sisters will be in there too.

-Ryan Habib

PADUA HEARSAY

RYAN’S VISUAL:


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PETRUCHIO TAMINGKATHERINEFirst meeting Petruchio and Katherine: In act 2, Gremio, Lucentio (as Cambio), Petruchio, Hortensio (as Licio), Tranio (as Lucentio), and Bion-dello enter Baptista’s house and Petruchio being himself lays out his ingenious plan to Baptista. He wants to marry Katherine who he has heard is a nice lady. He gives Baptista Hortensio (as Licio, a music tutor) as a gift, which is really a bribe. He accepts the bribe and welcomes Petruchio in to talk about Kath-erine, his older daughter, actually appears to be a total pain. He also adds that he was to woo her whenever he pleased if that was what he wished.

Petruchio’s behavior at the wedding: At the wedding, both Baptista and Katherine are Mad because Petruchio arrives late. They are both worry-ing that they will look like fools when he blows them off. Katherine then gets overwhelmed and runs away from the rooms in tears. Then Biondello arrives and announces that Petruchio is on his way. Everyone was relieved. But then he starts describing how Pe-truchio is dressed in some crazy costume and he also looks like a bum. He enters just as Biondello described him. Baptista asked him to change his habiliments, but Petruchio says, “To me she is mar-ried, not unto my clothes (Act 3. Sc. 2. Line 119).” Then, the after party begins and Petruchio states that him and Kate have to get back to his place, but all the guests should still party without them. Baptista and Kate don’t beg them to stay but he refuses. Then he warns all the guests not to touch Kate and then pulls out his sword and runs off with Kate. The guests all laugh about how Kate has married some-one just as crazy as she is.

Falcon Taming Strategy: No Food, No Sleep:When they arrive at their new home, Petruchio walks in and acts wild. At first he is calling his ser-vants bad names, and then he’s telling Kate to feel like she’s at home. When the food is served for din-ner, Petruchio complains that the meat was marred (burned) while Kate tries to talk him down (She doesn't yet know that he's messing with her head). Petruchio then takes Kate upstairs to sleep in her room. Once he has taken Kate to bed, he explains himself to his servants about how his plan to tame Kate has begun. He’ll starve her, and then deprive her of sleep (While pretending to have her best in-terest in mind). He claims that this is the Falcon Method; the best way to tame a shrew. Won’t let Kate choose her clothes:Kate finds out that they are getting dressed up in a custom-made dress to travel back to Padua for Kate’s sister Bianca’s wedding. The hat maker and the tailor enter later that day and Kate picks out clothes that she likes but Petruchio insists that they will wear old rags to her sister’s wedding. Then Pe-truchio whispers to Hortensio to go get the tailor and pay him for his work once he had left. While Kate

walks away, he explains how clothes aren’t that im-portant and to just go to the wedding and have a splendid time. Katherine’s speech at Bianca and Lucentio’s wedding:At Bianca’s wedding, the husbands continue their little contest on whose wife is the most obedient. Pe-truchio bets both Lucentio and Hortensio twenty crowns that Kate is the most obedient. They all take the bet thinking he was crazy because he had “the shrew”, and they have the servant go to get the cer-tain wife in the other room. Both Lucentio then Hort-ensio look like fools after both wives reject because they claim they are too busy. Then the servant is sent for Kate and she comes immediately to she what she shall serve him. Then he has Kate fetch the other two wives and she comes back dragging them both by the arms. Baptista is shocked in surprise. Then Kate delivers a long speech about how men are like kings to women and the women are like their subjects. She states that all women should obey their kings demands. Kings also have to work very hard in order to protect their wives; therefore, women should be obedient.

-Max Rodencal


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LIFE WITH THE SERVANTS

What’s it like to work for Petruchio/Lucentio? Tranio:Working for Lucentio isn’t as bad as you would think but about once or twice a week I get yelled at because I’m not fast enough or I didn’t cook the food right but lately, its been different. I’m disguised as him right now so he can’t really boss me around because he wants people to think I’m him and that he’s Cambio, a Tutor Biondello:It’s not to hard working for Lucentio but when he asks for something, he wants it right then. Not in five minutes so it can be challenging. I work with my head servant Tranio to keep Lu-centio’s plan working. Grumio:Well it gets old working for a crazy man and sometimes I have to remind him to use some manners and he doesn’t care when I tell him. But lately, he’s been acting strange around his new wife, Katherine. He has been starving her and he barely lets her sleep. He says it’s for his plan to tame her because she’s real crazy. When Petruchio isn’t in the room, I pretend to be nice to her by asking her if she wanted some calf or and ox but then tell her it might raise her blood pressure and back out. I’m hoping Petruchio walks in one time and gives me a raise for my assistance. He can be a real ruffian sometimes as well.

Do you agree or disagree with what Lucentio/Petruchio are doing? Tranio:I think Lucentio knows what he’s doing but if he doesn’t, then he could get in trouble. I don’t think it’s the right thing to skip learning in the University where he should be because his dad might find out then I could get in trou-ble too. So Biondello and I have to work super hard not to get caught. Lucentio also shouldn’t pretend to be someone else to get the love of his life because then Bianca might marry him by who he is pretending to be and not who he actually is. Biondello:I think Lucentio is crazy, but I’m definitely not going to tell him, because he’s taking this

more seriously than other times. So I just do whatever he tells me to do or what Tranio tells me to do in this situation. Grumio:I somewhat agree with him about Katherine but if he has to do all this work to tame her then he should have just found a new wife. But we all know why he wants Katherine. He mar-ried her for the money but I’m starting to think that they might both like each other besides the fact that he’s torturing her. Once he tames her, which I don’t believe will happen, they will be a great pair.

-Max Rodencal


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FEMINISM: A MAN’S INSIGHTFeminism is a growing movement, and no matter what kind of a man you are, from staunchly pro kitchen to women can do what ever they want, you cannot deny it is a growing movement that is starting to have an influence in a man’s world. This movement is deeply rooted in woman’s mind, something no man can ever com-prehend, until now, with much research and undercover work, I present to you, Feminism, a man’s insight. Scouring books and news articles to find the mother of this movement, I have come across the supposed mind behind the faction. And alas, she comes from an unlikely place. In Elizabethan age Italy, in the posh town of Padua, hailed the infamous Katherine Mi-nola. The daughter of a shady business-men and sister to the “golden girl” Bianca, this fiery character struck fear into a man, so much so that she was labeled a shrew, forever to be alone. Men can be so wrong. Though without a man, she preached her ideas with an iron fist, she never stepped foot in a kitchen, men made her sand-wiches, and this is the type of thinking that we need in this day and age.

With the new, woman in the kitchen stereotype building up steam, it is to note that many of the jokers are not jokers, they are dead serious, they believe a woman’s job should be cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids. It is this type of thinking that keeps is in the 17th century. And it is this type of thinking that needs to be addressed. In the West, many Muslim countries perceptions of women are criti-cized, though many of the world’s women detractors reside in the US and Europe. Only when we deal with out own problems should we tell people to address theirs. The world needs a new Katherine, as al-though she conforms in the end, she does influence, even Bianca starts to think for herself at the end of the book. The Taming of the Shrew introduced a new concept and panned it, though with the introduc-tion of this concept, people began to think, what is so bad about a woman thinking for herself. Is it okay for women to take a stand like Katherine did. With male chauvinists rife, it may take some extremist ideology to tone it down, as the saying goes, fight fire with fire, and maybe, with more people like Katherine Minola, we can end gender inequality in this world today.

-Ryan Habib

Ryan’s visual:


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LIVING IN PADUA ON FIVE CROWNS A DAY

Living in Padua on five Crowns a day! That’s right, this short guide will help you sur-vive in Padua on only five Crowns a day! There are many things to keep in mind when living doing, most importantly the fact that you will have to search dumpsters for food and sleep on the street, but no worries, we have a cou-pon for 1-800-RENT-A-PEDANT attached, so you can go dumpster diving together! The Basics: Since you’ve only got five Crowns to spend each day, you need to make sure you do things as cheaply and efficiently as possible. The first thing you are going to need to know is where to sleep. Good places include barns, castle gardens, and outside alehouses, as there is a chance a lord will pick you up and have his servants do your bidding for a short period of time. The next thing you need to take care of is food. The obvious places to look are in dumpsters behind buf-fets and in the back streets of the markets. Where lightly molded food is often left behind. You will also often find food in the dumpsters behind the Minola residence, and if you get lucky, you may find a smashed lute to keep yourself busy during the long cold winter nights. And for the adventurous few that are willing to make the trek out of town, head to Petruchio’s residence for a chance to score some marred meat! Advanced Techniques: Now that you know where to sleep and where to get sustenance, you should be able to make a few extra crowns. There is a simple yet and time consuming way to do this. Beg, all day, every day. That should earn you enough

money to visit a few of Padua’s local attrac-tions. Leisure: When you get tired of playing your smashed lute, gather up some of your extra crowns and head over to your nearest theater. See if you can catch a screening of “The Taming of the

Shrew”. Try to get there early; other-wise you’ll just end up listening to it. It would also be wise to visit the road leading in to Padua, as you can meet many inter-esting people. Just recently, the es-teemed Vincentio of Pisa came through on that road. If you can haggle him enough to give you a few crowns, you just might be able to buy yourself a real meal. The Alternative Method: If you can bear not going to any plays, and you beg enough, you just might be able to buy yourself a

disguise. With this disguise you can sneak into one of the rich es-tates in Padua, and tutor a Lord’s daughter. If you get close enough to her, you can use your 1-800-RENT-A-PEDANT coupon to get a fake father. Then use the fake father to arrange the marriage and you will suddenly have more crowns then you can imagine, just make sure your story is believable. You want them to think you are a Lord of some other Italian town, so you can get married. Also, trying to marry a widow is much easier, but they are much harder to find, and require a certain de-gree of patience (or just assassinate the hus-band). But DO NOT, under any circumstances tries to tame a shrew. That might cost more than five Crowns.

-AJ Griffith


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DISGUISES

Started on page 1.

Sneaky disguises drive an underworld of deceit beneath the calm façade of Padua. That’s right, the news has finally reached Baptista Minola about the suitors, lurking disguised in his own estate! Seek his beautiful daughter, the group managed to in-vade his home just to get a shot at courting her. It wasn’t until his daughter, Bianca Minola, had fallen in love with one of the secret suitors that he realized what was happening right un-der his nose. It was a multi-layered and com-plex plot, but all of the suitors eventually gave up, or went home, with the exception of the determined Lucentio, and Hortensio. It all started with the pursuit of Bianca. Lucentio spent quite some time disguised as Cambio, a Latin tutor, in hopes of getting closer to Bianca. Hortensio, pursued Bianca while disguised as Litio, a music tutor. Tranio disguised himself as Lucentio, and a pedant disguised himself as Vincentio, Lucentio’s fa-ther, in order to convince Baptista to allow the two to wed. As Tranio was a faithful servant to Lucentio, he gladly took his identity in order for Lucentio to get closer to Bianca as Cambio. Hortensio eventually gives up when he sees Lucentio and Bianca kiss, and he moves on to marry a widow. The pedant, who was con-vinced by Tranio, played his part magnificently, and allowed Lucentio and Bianca to wed. To recap, in the end, Lucentio married Bianca and Hortensio married a wealthy widow. For an expert analysis, we turn to our expert physiologist, Dr. Hizza Put. Here is a quote from his column in the Italy Bugle: “The fact that the Baptista didn’t notice what was going on in his own home is accred-ited to a metacognitive bias, known as the Normalcy Bias. The Normalcy Bias is the phe-nomenon that allows us to overlook rather drastic things simply because we haven’t expe-rienced them before. Baptista would never suspect three people in disguises all after one of his daughters, and because such a thing had never happened before, it didn’t even cross his mind as a possibility.”

There you have it readers, the definitive answer as to why Baptista couldn’t catch his daughters hidden suitors. In other news, word has been going around of the always-inebriated Christopher Sly finally realizing he is not a lord, and every-thing that has been happening to him in recent times has all been a lie. What a shocking reve-lation! It looks like the web of disguises runs deep here in Padua, join us next week for the article on what workout plan Kate uses to keep herself in shape!

-AJ Griffith

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