On Learning a Foreign Language

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On Learning a Foreign LanguageWhoever said that learning a foreign language is fun is wrong. They dont know what theyre talking about. I know, because I have learned four languages: Spanish, Italian, Mandarin, and my native language, English. I can tell you: learning a foreign language is hard work. Its time-consuming. It takes a long time. And Its embarrassing. Now at the age of 52, Im living and working in the country of Oman, just starting Arabic lessons. I dont expect to get fluent. You know the saying: You cant teach an old dog new tricks. I know what I have to look forward to: making mistakes. Pronunciation, grammar, spelling, vocabulary, intonation, stress, gender, and cultural. Its not a question of what mistakes I will make, or when I will make them, its a question of how many mistakes I will make: thousands or millions.Not only do you have to make mistakes in order to learn a language, you also have to embarrass yourself. When you learn cooking and you make mistakes, you can always hide them. If you burn something, or if you add too much salt, you can always throw it away. But when you learn a language, you learn by speaking. And to speak, you need to have another person. If there is another person, then he or she will hear your mistakes. And if the mistake is very good, then they will laugh. And you will be embarrassed. If you are unlucky, then they will tell other people about your mistake later, and you can be embarrassed two times for one mistake.Even in my native language, I have made mistakes. This often happened when I learned words by reading them in books. I knew how to spell them, I understood what they meant, but their pronunciation was often a mystery. For example, at the early age of nine, I read constantly. There was always a book in my hands. I would always try to use the new words I learned, trying to show off how smart I was. One time I said that I had read a WOO-dough-nut. I had just read the word for the first time, ten minutes before. My brother looked at me. What did you read? he asked me. I repeated myself. He was still confused. How do you spell it? he asked. W-h-o-d-u-n-i-t, I said. He laughed, and he did not stop laughing for a long time. He made sure to tell other people of my mistake. It is pronounced who-DONE-it, by the way. It is a novel about a crime (bank robbery, murder, etc.), and the point of the book is to find out who committed the crime. (Who has done it? = whodunit)Heres another story. Many years later, one of my friends was learning English. She was from Hungary. She spoke with a thick Hungarian accent. But she spoke a passably good English, and was fluent, to boot. One day, she lunched with another student at the college where I was teaching. Over lunch, she told him, John, that she had a potato clock. He heard her, but he didnt reply. He had no idea what a potato clock was, so did not know what to say. He wisely chose to say nothing. Later on the same day, he told me what she had said. Now as a matter of fact, I had heard of potato clocks before. A friend of mine had once had one and had happened to show it to me. So I knew what they were. They are cool gadgets using low-level technology. They are based on the fact that all water has a slight electrical charge, due to H+ and OH- ions swimming around with the H20 molecules. Since all potatoes contain water, and all water has ions, there is enough electricity produced to run a small electrical device, such as a clock. A potato clock is a very, very small clock (about one centimeter in diameter) that has two thin copper wires coming out of it. One takes the wires and plunges them into a potato. The result is a level charge of electricity that runs the clock hands. I told my friend all of this.After hearing my explanation, he felt more confident in asking her about it. So he went to her and asked if he could see the potato clock that she had told him that she had. What are you talking about? she asked him. Im talking about your potato clock. I was wondering if you could show it to me. I have never seen one. Doug told me about them. And I want to see yours.My what?Your potato clock. You told me that you had a potato clock.I did? I did not! When?At lunch. You said that you had a potato clock.I did not.But you did.Are you crazy? Dont tell me what I said, as I know very well what I said. And Im telling you that I did not talk about any potato clock, whatever that is. (She had never heard of or seen a potato clock.)As the conversation continued, neither party gave up. He kept insisting she had said it, and she kept denying it. Soon, they raised their voices, and then they got angry. Within minutes, they were both besides themselves with anger, and they separated with heated words.Only much later was peace made between the two. It took another conversation, longer, and with more patience on both sides, before they discovered what the problem was. At lunch, she had told him about when she got out of bed that morning: I got up at eight oclock.When I lived in Taiwan, I enrolled in Mandarin class. Notice that I say I enrolled in class rather than saying, I learned Mandarin. My Chinese was pretty broken. After gaining a bit of vocabulary, however, people could understand the basic meaning of what I was trying to say. I made a lot of grammatical and pronunciation errors. But I would use the words I knew to describe words that I didnt know. And so people could figure out what I wanted to communicate. This would often happen when I went shopping at the local hardware store. I was making home improvements, and so I had to buy tools and other things to fix up my house. After a few visits, whenever the employees saw me coming, all six or seven of them dropped what they were doing and gathered to wait for me. None of them wanted to miss anything that I said. This is because what I said was either totally hilarious or totally mysterious. If hilarious, they all wanted to hear it so that they could have a laugh. If mysterious, then they needed the whole crew to figure out what it was that I wanted to buy. Here follows one memorable conversation:Hello. What can I help you with today?Well, I want to buy something, but I dont know how to say it.Okay. Can you give me an idea? What is it used for? What is it made of?Sure. There have window. It no make the mosquito come in.I thought for sure this would be super easy. They would pick up right away on what it was that I wanted to buy. But no. They repeated it to each other, wondering what it could beIt is in the window? And it wont let mosquitoes come in?Exactly, I said, thinking it was a very clear, obvious description. But it took five minutes for them to understand what it was that I wanted: window screens.Another item was a bit harder. It took perhaps ten minutes of wild guessing, repeating, gestures, and frustration.You want to buy what?There have thing. You want clean metal, you need this thing. It look like hair. But it no hair, it metal. A better description than this I could not give. So I repeated it, louder and slower (which didnt always help). Ten minutes later, one of the employees proudly explained to his co-workers what it was that I wanted to buy: steel wool.One of my classmates in university told me a story about her experience with learning German. We were both studying to be language teachers, and we were sharing stories about our own experiences as learners of a foreign language. She was in Germany, studying German at a college. She lived in the dormitory on campus, where most of the students were Germans. She stayed there for a year. During the year, getting into (and out of) conversations around the dorm and the campus, there was a word that she heard once in a while, but didnt understand. She didnt pay too much attention to it, as it didnt seem to interfere with her understanding of the conversation. In fact, it seemed to be unimportant. It wasnt a very common word; she only heard it every so often. On her last day in Germany, all of her German friends threw her a party at her dorm room. They bought a cake, drinks, and invited all the people that knew her. During the party, she heard the word again. Finally, she was curious to find out what it meant. Hey, she said loudly. What does lothar mean?The room fell silent. Everybody stopped talking and looked at her.What? somebody asked her. Lothar. What is the meaning of the word?Everybody burst out laughing. After they were done, one of the people pointed to a shy, quiet boy in the corner of the room. That, he said. That is a Lothar.It was the boys name.My friend was thoroughly embarrassed. And, the boy, Lothar, was, understandably, quite angry with her. Then there is the story of the young girl, about nine years old, still learning her native language, English. She goes to her father one day, and asks him what sex means. He is shocked. Why would a nine-year old girl want or need to know the meaning of such a word? Where had she learned it? Maybe from her friends? In any event, he decides that the best thing is for him to answer her question. He decides that since she has already found out about it, it is best that she finds out all about it from HIM, before she finds out all about it from SOMEBODY ELSE. So, he asks her to sit down. She is impatient, and obviously wants to go, but he makes her sit down because what he is going to say is VERY IMPORTANT. She tries to talk, but he cuts her off. He then begins by lecturing her about the differences between men and women. Her eyes grow big as she listens to his explanation. Then he continues, talking about why people get married and how babies are born. Her mouth drops open. Finally, he finishes. Twenty minutes have passed. So, daughter, I hope that answers your question.Her answer is full of anger. Dad, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. MOM ASKED ME TO TELL YOU THAT DINNER WILL BE READY IN A COUPLE OF SECS.*So now you know. Learning a foreign language is hard work. It takes years of practice and hundreds of hours of study. And its embarrassing because you make mistakes and they cannot be hidden. They are out in the open, for everybody to hear and see. But in the end, if you can become fluent in another language, you can be proud of your achievement. And maybe, someday, you will be able to laugh at somebody else. I hope you enjoyed these stories. The more languages you speak, the more stories you will have to tell.

* will be ready in a couple of secs means will be ready in a couple of seconds A couple means two. I will be ready in a couple of seconds means, I will be ready very soon. When we speak English fast, we often say sec instead of second (there are 60 seconds in one minute). For example, Wait a sec = Wait one second, wait a moment. Two seconds becomes two secs, which sounds exactly like two sex, so a person who speaks English well but cannot read or write it well, might not know the difference between secs and sex, since they sound the same.On Learning a Foreign Language: Exercises (Answer with complete sentences)1. Why does the author say that learning a foreign language is not fun?2. How many foreign languages does the author speak? 3. What kind of examples of mistakes does he give? Check all the ones that he talks about.Type of mistakesYes?Type of mistakesYes?

pronunciation mistakesgrammatical mistakes

vocabulary mistakesspelling mistakes

cultural mistakesother mistakes

4. If you have a small vocabulary in a foreign language, what do you need to do to communicate with native speakers?5. If you speak broken English, what does that mean?6. Write at least 100 words about the theme of learning language. You can use any of the questions below to help you get a more specific topic.Do you like learning languages? Why/why not?Have you spoken to people who are trying to learn your language? What has your experience been?What technology helps you to learn a language faster? Do you know anybody who is a polyglot? A polyglot is a person who can speak many languages.What has been the hardest thing for you when you are learning your own language?What sounds and grammatical structures do children have problems with when learning to speak your language?Do you know anybody who cannot read or write? Have you ever had to translate/interpret for two people who did not speak the same language?How many languages can your parents speak?Have you ever used a foreign language when you travelled?Have you ever been in another country where they speak your language, but still there were some things that you didnt understand?

On Learning a Foreign Language: Answer Key1. The author says that learning a foreign language is not fun because it is embarrassing.2. The author speaks three foreign languages.3. Type of mistakesYes?Type of mistakesYes?

pronunciation mistakesgrammatical mistakes

vocabulary mistakesspelling mistakes

cultural mistakesother mistakes

4. If you have a small vocabulary in a foreign language, you need to use the words you know to describe the words you dont know in order to communicate with native speakers.5. If you speak broken English, that means that you dont speak it very well.6.