TABLE OF CONTENTS1 A situation verbal behavior was more important to the outcome than nonverbal behavior.

2 Consultant in Advising First-year college students on what nonverbal behaviors

3 Study of Twin

4 Unusual or Subtle Nonverbal Signals

5 Eyebrow Flashing

6 Women are better than Men at reading Nonverbal Cues

7 Baby Faces

8 Family Expressions

9 Moral or Ethical Issues related to the decoding / encoding of nonverbal cues

10 Colors

11 Uncomfortable Conversation Distance & How I Dealt With It

12 Fun Breaking Personal Space Rules – Too Close & Too Far

13 Changing Stereotypes about Physical Appearance

14 Legitimate Reasons for Not Hiring and Firing Someone

15 Wrong and Contradicting Emblems & Gestures in Verbal Meanings

16 Men and Same-Sex Touching

17 Cultural Norms

18 4 Day Touch Log

19 Couple at East Coast Wings Restaurant

20 Watch the Mirror

21 2 Part Process of Looking

22 Detecting Deception

23 Pet Nonverbal Communication

Extra 6 - Handout Exercises

1

A situation verbal behavior was clearly more important to the outcome than nonverbal behavior.

Courtroom – Stenographer

Stenographer: a court employee who records or writes down everything that is said in a case

Doesn’t offer an opinion on the proceedings, since his/her job is simply to write down everything that happens. That is the official transcript of the case

The transcribe spoken or recorded speech into written form, and because of this they are an essential part of the legal system. They rely solely on words, and not how they are said. Video cameras and recorders do not show you just words, but they let you see and hear things which might allow room for error when deciding one’s judgment.

2

Consultant in Advising First-year college students on what nonverbal behaviors they should enact in order to impress their professors.

Did you know a study was once conducted that found out you project 7% verbally, 38% vocally, and 55% Facially (from the shoulders up) I want you to be aware of one important thing. Communication teachers are trained readers, DO NOT LIE to them! You might think you have everything trained, but chances are high of them seeing leakage through your nonverbal and your voice. Always tell them the truth, even if you just over slept.

I’m going to tell you right now if you are a quiet person, and you don’t talk that much in class you better be all over that nonverbal communication just to show your professors you are there, and you are listening. Be sure to remember to comment! To be honest, I am a huge note taker, and I listen more than I talk. Because of this, I forget to comment often in class, so I try to show my professors I am being attentive threw my communication of nonverbals.

Professors can tell everything if you are leaning forward and not slouching. This shows signs of interest. Also if you go to talk to your professors, try to match/mirror them. Mirroring or posture congruency signals positive feelings, rapport, and cooperation. When you meet your professor for the first time, with confidence, give then a firm handshake. The touch will show signs of confidence. Most importantly, as mentioned before, your posture and eye contact are key factors! You may not believe me, but professors can tell if you are paying attention according to where your eyes go. In other words, watch yourself, your notes, and stay the heck away from your cell phone!

Also do not be scared to ask after class if you have problems during class. This shows you are interested. During class others try to impress their classmates threw various ways of communication. If you are worried about a question, professors do not mind if you go to them before or after class. Sometimes your question may impress them enough to the point that ask you to ask it once again during class to help others who might have the same question.

3

Study of Twins

Lucky for me I happened to go to school with fraternal twins, Megan and Josh. I grew up with them from the time I was in 6th grade until we all graduated, and went our separate ways to college.

The twins did not meet until there 5th grade year in middle school. They were born into a home where the parents did not get along so well, and wanted a divorce as soon as possible. According to the parents they thought the “best” thing to do, at the time, was Mom gets the girl, and Dad gets the boy. The parents spoke, but they also thought it best if the twin grew up separated so they wouldn’t feel like they were being torn between two houses. I know meeting in 5th grade is not as long as the twins for the books and in class studies, but I still thought it would be interesting to see what I found.

Megan and Josh both grew up in Christian homes, and according to them, they both felt like they were missing something growing up. Both were in love with sports, crazy about the outdoors, and very musically inclined. Megan and Josh both sing and play the guitar and piano. They are also very caring people, but they always felt like the outcast growing up. It wasn’t until they felt met that it felt like they had a true friend. During their younger years, they were both brilliant. Growing up they each was the top of their class until they started going to the same school. Before having a weird first meeting the parents sat each down to tell them about the other. After entering the same class, there was a new competition for who was the smartest. Megan beat Josh for the Valedictorian title when we graduated. Megan is now a nurse and Josh went to college to be a game warden. What makes me laugh is both met their loves in college, both got engaged on their 1 yr anniversary with their loves, and they both decided to have a double wedding. I think the idea is very interesting, but sucks for those of us who have to buy bring two gifts instead of one.

What amazed me, during my brief interviewing I noticed their similar ways of doing things. Growing up I never really gave them my full attention, because they were not as interesting as my other friends. They both hate anything green, meaning, they both have hated vegetables from the time they were small until now. When ordering our meal, they practically ordered the same thing all the way down to the water.

4

Unusual or Subtle Nonverbal Signals

My boyfriend Lee is a pretty happy guy, and is very easy to joke with, and smiles more than most people. However, as much as I love reading his “I’m happy” nonverbal, his bad “NASCAR race day, Oh Hell Jeff Gordon just plowed into the wall” self is just as fun reading. He works for Toyota Racing Development, so if a Toyota gets hit or Jeff gets smashed or passed, he goes bi-polar on the T.V. I am in LOVE LOVE LOVE with watching him, and getting him even more fired up by cheering for the Chevy driver, Brad Keselowski who drives the Miller car, on purpose just os I can see his many faces. I watching him is as fun as watching strangers in the mall with my best friend.

When Lee is happy about explain something he gets excited to the point where his hand expressions expand beyond normal, and his eyebrows excel higher than normal. When he looks upset or very serious he tries not to smile at me, but my absolute favorite thing to do is smile even bigger at him. Even though he is trying to look very upset or serious, the side of his right lip goes up, and gives it away that he isn’t pissed. Then I will tell him “I know you want to smile, because I can see your mirror neurons wanting to copy my smile.” After I say this he always lets out all the air in his lungs, and smiles at me and starts laughing.

When he thinks someone is crazy he will bug his eyes out and pierce his lips. He will also do this if he thinks something is stupid, and doesn’t want to say it.

Lee does a great amount of self touching while watching NASCAR. He gets really giddy when his drivers start to win. I’m talking eyes popping, eyebrows raising, and giving a cheesy smile! However, when his drivers start to lose he will suck in a great amount of air and stops breathing. When things get worse he will begin touching his face, dragging his fingers through his hair, and by looking at the picture you can see where he is grabbing his hair in annoyance of how the race is unfolding.

Lee also will do a lot of speech related gestures when he starts talking. A great example is when he give directions he builds buildings with his hands, points to where the buildings are located, which side you need to be on, and when to (hands up) stop.

5

Eyebrow Flashing

TEXT – “Eible- Eibesfields (1972) has identified what he calls the “eyebrow flash.” HE has observed his rapid raising of the eyebrows maintained for about one-sixth of a second before lowering – among Europeans, Balinese, Papiuarsm Somoans, South American Indians, Bushmen and others. Although the eyebrow flash often can be seen in friendly greeting behaviors, it has also been seen when people are giving approval of a greeting, seeking confirmation, flirting, thanking, and when beginning and/or emphasizing a statement. However, other instances have reported eyebrow raising seems to indicate disapproval, indignation, or admonishment.”

When do I use it and with What meaning?

I asked my mom to watch my eyebrows, for a couple of days to see when I raised them. She them responded, “Courtney , I know when you raise those thing. I don’t need to watch them for a few days when I can tell you what you do right now.”

According to Mom, when she calls my name I always turn around with my eyebrows raised. I believe this to be seeking confirmation when I am addressed. I was also told I do this when I am upset, and she will not allow me to plead my case until after she is finished talking. Once again according to Mom, my eyebrows will go up and I will pierce my lips. I believe this to be disapproval of what is being said. My eyebrows also raise high than normal when I’m being sarcastic.

When did I see it, Who did it, and What I thought it ment.

My friend, Bryan, likes to flash his eye brows a great amount when he is looking at an attractive girl he is interested in. I noticed a great amount of my guy friends will do the same thing when they see something attractive ranging from food to women.

My business professor, Dr. Bamford, does it when he is telling stories. He will also do it at the end of his lectures, and while he is asking questions to see if everyone understood what he was saying. My friends say I do this as well. I have noted that the more bubbly/ excited people I meet the more eyebrow raising I tend to see happen.

6

Women are better than Men at reading Nonverbal Cues

In class we learned that men are better than women at decoding anger; however, women are better at decoding nonverbal cues in comparison to men. Female intuition is brought about because we are trained to have it.

Females test high then men consistently, and women are brought up to pay more attention to nonverbal cues. This trains us to pay more attention and practice at seeing for example how things are said. Tests have shown how we get increasingly better as decoders from age 5 to 30; then drops off. It is believed to work this way because not only are you around people, bur your dating and trying to get signals all the time to see if someone is sending us a message.

7

Baby Faces

The biggest problems with babies is if they make a face you can’t ask them what they were feeling at the time when they made it. For example, studies have found one of the reasons babies smile is when they are passing gas. This is kind of like survival of the fittest when fitting into the surroundings. Less than a week old, infants learn to duplicate the faces of others very quickly.

In your opinion, do infants imitate adult facial movements?

Yes. My friends Daughter, Keyln, is less than a year old and does this. The first thing she started copying consistently was smiles. She still smiles, and she can copy my smiles all the way down to the showing me all her gums to the squinting her eyes almost shut. (Neither parent smiles like I do.) Her favorite thing to do now is coping people when they make the “O” shape lip protrusions.

Do you think they know what different facial expressions mean?

I believe after so long being around us they learn to distinguish what certain facial expressions mean. For example, in class we learned that when they fall down or run into something, they will watch the parent. If the parent makes an “Oh No!” face the baby will start crying, but if the parent doesn’t do anything they baby will normally keep moving as if nothing had ever happen.

Why do you think babies have such expressive faces and voices?

Survival of the fittest! They have to figure out how they can communicate with you since they are unable to talk yet. They can’t tell you how they fee, so they find different kinds of ways in which to tell or show you how they are feeling. Keyln cries when she is hungry, needs a diaper change, or wants something or attention. It is up to you to detect which one she wants. She laughs the most when entertained. The most interesting thing to note is how she can only say a few words (momma, dada, ball, bye), but she knows how to communicate certain things to her parents (food, done, no, yes, full , bye, and poop) threw the means of sign language.

8

Family Expressions

My family is both high and low on the expression chart. My Dad’s side is Greek and they are fantastic encoders compared to my mom’s restrictive side. Her family’s motto is “Be seen and not hear.” If that tells you anything.

How did your family expressive norms influence your encoding and decoding skills?

Even though my Dad’s side is extremely high on the expressing level, my parents raised me to be very reserved. The “Be seen and not heard” was a huge thing for me growing up. I honestly had a hard time talking to people until I went to college, where they made you talk! I love to think of myself as an excellent decoder, because I loved listening rather than talking. It allowed me to get to know the other person, and how they acted. My favorite thing to do with my best friend growing up was “people watching.” However, when it comes to my emotions I wear those on my sleeves. If I am not happy about something anyone who is around me can tell it, and if you upset me past my breaking point I don’t turn around and walk away. I send all kinds of messages off all the time. When I started college, I changed, and to be honest, most would probably say I was an encoder if asked. There is a study that was conducted years ago about kids who watched more than 14hrs of television a week was proven to be good encoders. I believe if they would have done those tests on me when I was a kid I probably would have scored high as well

My grandmother on my mother’s side is quiet, but extremely intelligent. She not only has a high I.Q. but she also knows people. As far as I can remember back, my grandmother can always tell what the family is feeling by just looking and/or listening to us. Even though she is quiet, she is great a blending into a crowd, and is loved very much so by everyone she meets.

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Moral or Ethical Issues related to the decoding / encoding of nonverbal cues

Why or Why Not? If so, what are they?

I believe knowledge is power. If you can use it to read people that is fantastic, but are you using it for good or to harm others? We all want to be moral/ ethically correct, but sometimes, we have to lie or do other things rather than tell how we feel.

TEXT: “People use nonverbal uses for self-presentation and for a variety of strategic and deliberate, sometimes even dishonest purposes. The trial lawyer must act convinced of her client’s innocence; the therapist must appear sincerely interested and accepting of a clients plight, parents use it to reinforce or direct children’s behaviors in socially acceptable ways. Even managers need to be able to produce a smile and a cheerful greeting for his subordinates even when his mood is less than sunny. Each of us have a multitude of roles to play in life, and a skilled understanding of the nonverbal cues relevant to each role is important for the smooth functioning of society and can serve to keep us in good standing with others.

Each person has the ethic responsibility not to use knowledge for harm!

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Colors

Favorite Color?

Metallic Evergreen

Why?

I have been in love with shiny things ever since I was a kid, and the same goes for the brilliant evergreen colors of the forest. My first time seeing this two combined was as a kid when my mother purchased a mazda metallic evergreen meyada. Love at first sight!

What Color do I love to wear?

Green

Why?

I look great in earth tone colors. My eyes are a mix between emerald green and aqua blue, and combined with my brown hair, my assets accent wonderfully with this color.

What does that color tell others about me?

Friend One: “You just love green. You can be an outdoor person or a tree hugger? You are more of a sophisticated kind of country girl, and green looks good on you.”

Friend Two: “Someone played in the grass too much as a kid. Miss 4-Leaf clover collector”

Friend Three: “You give off a warmth feeling…Unlike your best friend whose favorite color is baby blue. Don’t get me wrong that color is perfect for her! When see blue I think of cold, and that reminds me of the temperature of her Freezing Ice Blue Cold Heart!” (Her Exboyfriend)

How do colors effect your mood

I know from text that green is associated with serenity, calmness, and peace. I get that feeling when I enter my forest green wall painted room. I hate yellow! I know it equals happiness, but I hate it from paint color to flower color! Only butterflies and sunflowers are an exception to the rule, and there are no logical or psychological reasons I can come up with other than I just hate that freaking color.

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Uncomfortable Conversation Distance & How I Dealt With It

Four months ago, my boyfriend introduced me to one of his friends, Matt, at the business Christmas party. Matt is in his late 30s, stands 5’9, and has the darkest brown eyes (can’t see his pupils) that protrude from his face. Those eyes just weirded me the heck out every time I looked into them for the longest time. I honestly believed he was a code red social creeper.

When Lee first introduced me this guy just stared me the heck down, and it literally felt like he could see into my soul. When he went to shake my hand I gripped harder than normal hoping to show womanly dominance in hopes of him backing off, but this did not work. I learned in conversation that speaker holds at least 30% of the eye gazing, but I swear this guy held 100%. Matt also stands way to close for comfort. He stood less than my normal “I’m ok with you being arms length in front of me” close distance. He was elbow to elbow close in conversation. I think he was socially retarded.

I kept backing away slightly, and he kept coming closer. I finial just said nice to meet you, walked away, and stood at a presenters length of 12-25ft away from him for the rest of the night. This guy freaked me out so much I don’t even remember what the hell out first couple of conversations were about, because my mind was too creeped out and was too busy developing kind exist ideas to escape communicating with this man any further.

Months later I learned he was on anti-depressents, had no good friends, and viewed me as evil, because I stole his “best friend time” away when Lee started dating me. We are alright in conversations now, because he apologized for being creepy, and he now stands in my 4-7ft business distance comfort zone when we have social interactions.

12

Fun Breaking Personal Space Rules –TOO Close & TOO Far

Too Close

I seen my friend’s Dad at my store pumping gas, and he stood about 15ft away from my car. I then thought perfect! While he was pumping, I went to my car and started up conversation. Conversation was fine during the greeting part, but then I got asked if I had heard from his son lately.

Me: Last Night

SDad: Sam talked to you last night

Me: Yes Sir, for a few hours

SDad: Well get over here, and tell me how he is doing

Me: You sure you are not ok talking at this distance?

SDad: Miss Courtney, if I wanted the world to know about my life I would let you keep broadcasting. Now come here young lady.

Sam’s Dad worries about Sam constantly since he left the plantation for the big city.

Too Far

My employee Tammy is in her late 40s and we hardly ever talk anything other than business. I tried the too close on her. (Not arms length but elbows length in front of her. I have never been this close to her before) She just stared at me for a couple of seconds

Me: How ya doing Tammy?

Tammy: (reaches out, and hugs me) It has been a long day, and I’m exhausted.

Me: (Freaked me out and unsure of what to say)... I’m sorry. (hug back)

Tammy: Thanks Courtney (ends hug and walks off)

I was hoping to freak her out by catching her off guard, but she freaked me out by hugging me out of nowhere! Tammy doesn’t touch anyone, and she just reached out and grabbed me! That conversation ended just about as fast as it started.

13

Changing Stereotypes about Physical Appearance

Long Hair

TEXT: The length of a person’s hair can dramatically affect perceptions and human interaction. In 1902 the U.S. Commissioner of Indian Affairs sent out an order to forcibly, if necessary, cut all male Indians hair so they would look “civilized.” Long hair was extremely popular during the 60’s and 70’s, and if one had long hair during this time you were considered a hippie. Long hair during the 80’s symbolized rebellion and bikers along with rockers were commonly seen with this style of hair. During the 90’s, there were fewer people with long unruly hair. Once we reached the million, our society was based on certain invisible rules that everyone who is involved in a business are suppose to follow.

Change the Long Hair

Every woman’s crazy about a sharp dressed man, and so are bosses. If you do not wish to be judged unfit your hair better be under control. The longest length I have ever seen on men’s hair in a professional business setting is shoulder length or an inch past it. Both times I seen this style the man was very handsome, well kept, well groomed, and nicely cut. If you are growing out your hair for locks-of-love, tell your boss, and if he doesn’t understand go find his boss to tell him. If no one understands find another job if you can’t handle it. Most companies are very reserved in their ways of judging appearance. Find a more contemporary company that is more lenient of the ways in which they see the hair growing rules. Long hair fits in perfectly here if you keep it looking nice , clean, and cut to a decent, respectable look.

14

Legitimate Reasons for Firing or not Hiring Someone

Odor and maybe hairstyles

I will be honest, if I was a boss of a big company these two would probably hinder my acceptance of hiring or Firing someone.

Hiring - Odor

-If you smell like you just lived off the streets for the past year that’s a = NO

-If they pass gas in my office during an interview = NO

-If they smell like B.O = NO

- If their perfume or cologne smells like a chemical weapon of mass destruction = NO

* Exception to the Rule: If everything else is great. I would tell them they may have the job, but I would ask them to please cut back on the perfume or cologne. If they get upset, I just push on to the next person on the list.

Hiring - Hair

- I hate dreadlocks and afros as much as I hate the color yellow! The only way I would look past this is if they were GRADE A CORE players that would potentially excel my company. I would then offer them the job, watch my company prosper, and beat myself up mentally whenever I see that hair.

Firing

I would give them all fare warning. I has been brought to my attention that this odor has created a problem around the office. I am sorry to have to come to you like this, but I need the problem resolved before it gets out of hand to the point where this is a hard place for employees to all get along. If you would not mind, please resolve this… I would give 2 warning, and when I come back the 3rd time you’re Fired!

The same warning system goes for hair. As long as you can keep it looking neat (not homeless or just rolled out of bed) you will be fine, but 3rd time I come to that person about the issue they will be terminated from the company.

15

Wrong and Contradicting Emblems & Gestures in Verbal Meanings

I did this for a few hours instead of a day, because this is super hard! My body wants to use the right ones, so I had a hard time trying to use the wrong ones. I either screwed it up or said what the wrong ones meant.

My best friend April

When she asked how my day was.

Me: Great (while doing the “Ok” sign with the left hand and “Crazy” with my right)

April: O-K (eyebrows showing confusion) How are things with you and Lee?

Me: Fantastic (Shake head) I love (middle fingers) my (point at april) Lee!

April: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Me: (Smiles) Nothing, I’m fine. (I don’t know sign, and shaking head)

April: Goudes, you’re starting to piss me off! (Hateful looks)

Me: (Hugs) I hate you too! (End hug and Smile)

April: (Deep Breath…Lets it Out) F.U. Goudes! I knew you would pull this shit on me one day! You better be lucky I know your levels of crazy and all this (points to all of me) just passed it! I don’t mind you analyzing me for class, but save that crazy communication stuff you do for class for someone who isn’t close to taking a vacation to the crazy house. I swear anymore of that and you could come see me during visiting hours.

Me: (Can’t breath I’m laughing so hard while trying to apologize) I’m sorry Ape, it was for my class scrapebook. (hugs) Thank you for not punching me. (Smiles)

April: Ya, I love you too. (gives me the finger)

16

Men and Same Sex Touching

TEXT: A infants, girls are touched just as much as boys. However, at 6 months these numbers stand to change. Touch was seen as increasingly inappropriate as children grew from toddlers to young teenagers, especially for fathers and for boys. Several Observations of touching behavior have been made in the content of the developing child’s school experiences. In one study, preschool boys tend to touch their male teachers more than the female teachers; preschool girls touched teachers of both sex equally. The teachers themselves usually touched children of their own sex more.

What I think

While growing up we learn that more touching with the same sex (guys) you are labeled as homosexual. When we get older we learn about sex, and all the different kinds of people that are out there ranging from homosexuals to child molesters. If you are a man running a day care, and there is this one little touch deprived child you give extra attention to because she loves for you to hug and play with her, many other people would blindly assume that the man is attracted to this child if they did not know the full story. Our society is very judge mental and doesn’t not want the full story, because they are too busy looking at that snap shot picture in front of them. Two little boys hug on a playground, and not society is worried about them growing up not being attracted to the opposite sex. They are just two little boys!

Does it represent a problem that could be solved?

Studies have shown that physical violence in adults may also be related deprivation of touch during infancy.

If our culture wasn’t so worried about every guy who stands to close to another guy might being gay, and parents wanting to make their infants menly men at 6 months we probably wouldn’t face most of the problems we are facing now.

17

Culture Touch Norms

The Greeks

I honestly believe these people have no social rules on personal space. Greeks stand close when talking. I’m talking 18-36 inches close to you. When greeting and leaving they always kiss you! Everyone I met does not care if you are family or not you are getting a hug and some kisses. (I use to tell everyone I was sick to avoid this) About 99% of the time they kiss your cheeks, and if you are a friend 97% of the time its cheeks and peck on the lips. EWW! With all these touches, invading personal space, and kissing, I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard Greece’s people stay unhealthy from all the germ spreading they do!

Research

Greeks are people that hug and kiss and stay close together. There is hardly often an acceptable distance that separates two people when talking to each other; you have to set your own distance between you and the other person. Touching is also acceptable in a conversation. Eye contact is important in the Greek culture. An old saying says that “the eyes mirror our soul” and in that way, they have power. Make eye contact; it is a sign of personal empowerment, but also a sign of seeking communication contact with other people. As long as the tone of the voice has a “friendly” colour, there are no instructions for how to tone your voice and how direct your speech can be. Expressing one’s emotions and feelings in your gestures and behaviours are an acceptable thing in Greece

Affection and anger belong to the Greek public domain, but situations of anger are not very common. Walking in Athens, for example, you will see couples kissing, walking together hand in hand. Going to a work meeting with Greeks means that disagreements may arise and it may be vivid, but not violent. Public displays of affection are quite common between genders.

http://www.intercultures.ca/cil-cai/ci-ic-eng.asp?iso=gr

Personal Space & Touching

Greeks generally prefer standing close to one another while talking. A little less than an arm’s length is normal. This distance becomes greater when interacting with strangers and less when interacting with friends and family. It can be considered rude to back up or away from someone while they are speaking. There is a fair amount of touching between men and men, and women and women and men and women while conversing.

http://www.culturecrossing.net/basics_business_student.php?id=82

I love the American cultures in some ways. I would rather make out in private, hold your hand in public, and grip your hand in a handshake in comparison to hug and kissing all over someone.

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Four Day Touch Log

Who – Why – What I thought

Day 1

Dr. Bamfor – Business Professor – Higher Status

- I asked a question about my project. After he came and looked at it, he explained what it was. (Touch my shoulder) “Do you have any more questions?” Once I said No he let go of me. The higher the status the less likely I am going to care, unless they are weird.

-It showed concern, and trying to persuade me to tell him if I had any more problems

MOM – Higher Status

-When I get home I hugged mom and told her about my long day

-Habit and Love for my mom (Hugging my mom makes me feel good)

Day 2

Girls in class – Same Status

-1 Talked while telling stories, and held her ground by putting her hand on 2 and not letting go until she started talking again. Looks like she touched her on the good parts of the story.

-To hold her position of talking, and to persuade 2 the story was exciting and true.

Day 3

People in Hall -Same Status of Students

-Touch each other after bumping into each other in the hall. Then 1 did not let 2 go until 1 knew that 2 was ok or knew 1 was sorry.

- Convincing the other person it was an accident and showing concern for someone.

Day 4

Doctor and Nurse – Higher Status to Patent – My Dad

- Dad is in the hospital and both Dr. and Nurse touch him every time they enter the room for any reason at all.

19

-To show empathy for those who they care about or feel sorry for, because of their current unhealthy condition.

Couple at East Coast Wings Restaurant

Exchange of Floors

-Girl would lower her voice and drop her gaze to her food when she was finished talking.

-Guy would do the same except voice didn’t seem to lower when he finished talking.

Overlap

- I did notice when the girl wasn’t finished talking the guy tried, one time, to start his own conversation on something she said in the middle of her talking. The girl just talked louder until he shut up. Then when she was finished I heard her say, “What was you trying to tell me a sec. a go?”

Interruptions

-The waitress showed up just shortly after the guy had finished asking the girl a question. As soon as the waitress left, the conversation continued with the girl answering the question.

Pauses

- They just ate their food until someone started the conversation again

How to “Take”

-Guy- Similar to a passage in our text, he shook his finger pointing at her, during a conversation on politics, and started agreeing with her. Then he took over.

-Girl- Unlike the guy, she just waited every time until he was finished talking.

How to “Give”

-Guy- He would make hand gestures towards her if he wanted to give or ask her something, he would gaze at her, and he even made a weird sound in his throat one time at her. He would also give it another way by leaning back while ending his conversation as he was doing so.

-Girl- Hand gestures, gazing, ending conversation with questions directed towards him, and one time she ended what she was saying by gently touching him. Unlike this other time paused in conversation, grabbed his wrist, and held on to him like she was holding her turn and didn’t let go until she started talking again.

20

Watch the Mirror

How do eye position and movement Change?

Fear – Brows go up and eyes get big

Anger – Brows go up eyes get bigger *left brow is up higher*

Surprise – Brows go up eyes get big

Happiness – Brows are normal Eyes are normal * I look intimidating *

Sadness – Eyes Squint, brows pushed together and form a line between my eyes

Similarities to Others

Fear and Sadness –reminds me of Mom

Anger and Surprise – reminds me of Dad

Entire Face – Same Faces – Did eyes become less expressive?

No. Happy now looks happy, and sad looks sadder. My cheeks go up and creates lines around my eyes which show more emphasis on these two expressions in particularly.

Blending

There was Blending. I looked like I had formed a half smile between Fear and Anger, and the same applies for Anger and Surprise. Between Happiness and Sadness it looked as if there was a blend of looking annoyed was created.

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2 Part Process of Looking

Part 1: Don’t look away

My little cousin Caitlin went out to dinner with me one evening, and when we first started talking I asked her how she was, how the family was, and about her job.

-She just looked away a great deal at after a couple of minutes, and by the time she got to the “how is your job” part, I heard. “Courtney! Stop looking at me like that! It’s just weird, and it is starting to freak me out!”

- I told her what I was doing, and she told me how I freaked her out, made her feel awkward talking to me, and after so long she just couldn’t take it anymore.

Part 2: Look Away

My Dad was talking to me about getting the oil changed in my car. I thought this was the perfect look away moment, because I don’t care to get my car’s oil changed every month when it isn’t due for it.

Dad: Are you even listening to me… (5mins)

(Grunt Noise to catch my attention)…(8 mins )

F it Courtney! Just F it! Do what you F’n want with the F’n car and when F’n thing breaks the F down don’t F’n call me! ( 9mins and Dad storms off)

- I was kind of too scared to tell my pissed off Dad what I was doing, because it was probably done at the wrong time now that I think about it. I believe people don’t like to be stared at no more than they like to not be looked at.

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Detecting Deception

I am convinced my best friend, April, loves to lie to me, get caught almost every time, rather than tell me the truth as to why she is blowing me off which is 9 times out of 10 for her boyfriend.

THE LIE

“I’m not going to make it today, because work is busy, and let’s do the movie another time, because I won’t get off until late.”

*April gets off at 6pm every single day and the latest she walks out of that door is at 6:30pm. The movie is at 8:00pm, and I don’t think the lie adds up to equal even close to the truth. I then ask her what all is going on? Her response is “A lot, just a lot, and I have to go they are calling me.” (In a perfectly quiet background they are calling her…once again doesn’t add up.)

The Catch

Because I know she was lying to me I showed up at her work, which is 6mins from my house, to prove a point. She walks out the door, like a normal person, at 6:05pm, she then spots me , and flips out. “ I’m sleepy, and I had a long day, and I told you I can’t make it! I got out early because they let me out! Go home Goudes! I’m so pissed at you right now!” ( I have not said anything) Go the Hell Home right now I don’t even want to look at you, I’m sleepy pissed, wanting a bed and shower, and I won’t you gone now!” (Guess who pulls up as I’m getting in my car *the boyfriend*) I get out (Nod at Travis, Give her a Smile) “Next time just tell me the truth, April.” (Get in my car and leave…10mins later text from April saying she is sorry.)

Her tone, her shortness with me, and the no noise background gave her away. When April is on break and she truly is not wanting to do something with me, she will always say something similar to this in a normal voice: “Do you mind if we do this another day Buddy (always calls me this when she isn’t being short and telling lies) I’m sorry buddy, but I’m just too ____ (sick, sleepy, …) today.” April may think she is good, but she lies she is awful at it. I always tell her just tell me the truth! We have been friends since we were 5, I’m pretty sure I am a pro. at distinguishing between her truth and lies almost 20yrs later.

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Pet Nonverbal CommunicationMy Cat - Artimas

What Nonverbal messages does it send?Cats send out many nonverbal messages, anything from what he wants, attention, feeding, happy, sick, and mad at the world. They send out a great number like humans except, like infants, they can’t tell you what they are thinking or how they feel, so they have to find different means of communication to establish ways in which to show you.

How does it use its face and body communicateI was kind of lost on my cats way of communicating to me on some of these so I did some research that was found to be very interesting and similar to my cats behaviors.

EYES:When dilated (which naturally happens in the dark) your cat might be feeling playful, aggressive

or frisky and will most likely act accordingly. When the pupils are constricted, which naturally

happens in bright light, your cat is probably feeling scared, intimidated, or confused.The eyes are

also a great indicator of what your cat may be thinking. If you notice a change in your cat’s

behavior or mood, look directly where they are looking and you will find the cause. Cats become

focused on what holds their attention and cannot feign interest as we can.

VOICE:

Use their voices to get attention, showing a want or need, or letting you know they are mad if

they hiss or growl at you.

BODY:

When a group of cats get together, they groom each other to bond. Since we choose not to lick

our kitties to groom them, we use our hands to pet them; this is interpreted as grooming and

therefore bonding. It is not uncommon for your cat to reach back and groom you as well with a

head nudge or even a lick. This is perhaps one of the most loving gestures your cat will show

you.When you are petting them, perhaps you will notice they twist and turn. Often they are just

leading you to the place they want to be pet the most.

How is it similar to humans?We do a good deal of our nonverbal behavior means the same as the cats. As baby’s we find a ways to communicate with our voice to try to get the adults to understand our wants or needs. We cannot control our pupils like cats, but like cats, our pupils do dilate when we see something we are attracted to. Like cats when we do want attention we rub our bodies up against the person we are the most attracted to. (When we are in relationships, not meaning random people.)

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I have really enjoyed this class! I tried to include text, notes, and my thoughts in each part as I went along.

Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy it!

Courtney

PS: My friends, family, and boyfriend said to tell you thank you for adding to my knowledge, but they are so glad this class is almost over so I can stop analyzing them. My boyfriend has been my main experiment/ best friend who is willing to listen to me when I come home excited over what I learned that day. I have used all my knowledge you have taught me from this class along with

interpersonal teaching and experimenting on mainly him, and my friends. He said to tell you thank you for all the extra communication knowledge he “had” know, and for teaching me how to analyze him. (He sounds sarcastic, but he enjoys it. The analyzing of hugs is his favorite thing to do. He sends me texts every time someone hugs him…Did I mention he also likes to read my

notes for fun!) Thank you so much again!