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8/4/2019 Let's Rewrite Umineko Part 1a
1/3
I reluctantly turn off How About A Castle? and load my save file. I am greeted
again by the hyper-submissive Shannon.
"Hello, and, again, welcome to Rakkenjima." She continues smiling. "We hope
your brief relaxation has been a pleasant one. We are now ready to begin the
game proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and
learning are the primary goals of Umineko, serious injuries may occur. For
your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-"
Jessica interrupts her. "Ah, Shannon. Well, this is the first time Battler has
seen Beatrice's portrait." Jessica was lying through her teeth. She knew for a
fact that this was Battler's second time seeing it. She was there Battler's first
time, as well. Battler could only wonder to himself what Jessica was planning.
She looked at him with a smile and added, "He was just fascinated by it."
"Excellent. Please proceed to the beach after appreciating the portrait."
George mentioned another theory behind the portrait. "Ahahahaha." He could
barely contain himself at the thought of it. "In addition to the patron theory,
there's also a theory she was Grandfather's first love." George contained his
laugh to a snicker and continued. "...Either way, although it's been severaldecades since he met her, even now she holds a special place in his
heart. ...Which must mean he is still captivated by her." He burst into
laughter again, his face red from trying to hold it in.
Battler couldn't help but smile at George "Sheesh." He played along. "That
must have made Grandmother pretty jealous, right?"
"I'm not really sure, but that might actually be true." Jessica responded half-seriously, seeing a chance to gossip. "Apparently Grandmother believed that
he was cheating on her with some blonde-haired person."
"... Uu-?" Maria grunted. "Good smell! Good smell coming from Shannon!"
She pounded her chest and circled around the helpless maid.
8/4/2019 Let's Rewrite Umineko Part 1a
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Shannon was unfazed, however. "Please move quickly to the beach, as the
effects of prolonged exposure to my aroma are not part of this story."
George noticed Shannon carrying a basket. He put two and two together and
decided she must be carrying cookies.
"Uu-! Want to eat cookies! Want to eat cookies! Uu-!" Maria pounded on the
floor, doing all she could to contain her frenzy.
Shannon, with all the emotion of a robot, reached into her basket and pulled
out the cookies. "Please proceed to the beach. Mind the sand."
Maria looked at Shannon with disdain and confusion, but her older cousins
understood. It would be improper to eat cookies in the hallway with no tables,
and surrounded by such delicate and expensive decorations. Especially the
painting.
"Maria, why don't we eat someplace other than here?" Jessica playedinterpreter for Maria, speaking intentionally poor English to make it easier for
the child to understand. "We can hop in the Bento and drive out to the beach
for a picnic!"
Maria enthusiastically started running around, her boundless and primitive
energy enough to make any adult want a nap. "Uu-! Have a picnic, have a
picnic!! If we can eat cookies, let's go!"
George grimaced. He was the only one old enough to drive, and he dreaded
taking his grandfather's vintage 84 Bento out to the beach. Kinzo loved that
car more than any human, and he would notice the slightest scratch or ding
on it. "Shannon-chan," he muttered unenthusiastically. "Sorry to bother you,
but could I ask you to get us a blanket to sit on and some flasks of tea." He
spoke flatly, not asking her to get them, but telling her to.
8/4/2019 Let's Rewrite Umineko Part 1a
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"Excellent," Shannon said in her usual tone, ignoring the scowl on George's
face.
The cousins headed for the entrance as a group...