Laundry & Bourbon #2 by James McClureHATTIE #2

            Today I went through living hell.  I went shopping with my children.  Disastrous.  When my kids hit a

department store, they go berserk.  I think it activates something in their glands.  We hadn't been in J.C.

Penney's five minutes before they scattered in all direction.  Now you take my little Cheryl.  She's a sweet little

thing but bless her heart she's a thief.  It's time I faced facts, 'Lizabeth.  My daughter is a kleptomaniac.  As soon

as we got into that store, she started stuffing her pockets.  Stuffing her clothing.  She ran away from me and ten

minutes later I saw her.  I barely recognized my only daughter.  She looked like a beach ball with legs. Telling

her to put it back is no good.  Thieving is in her blood.  She gets it from Vernon Jr.  Now he was in the

hardware department chasing his brother with a hammer.  And all little Roger was doing was screaming. 

Somehow Vernon Jr. broke a solid steel J.C. Penney hammer.  When it comes to destruction, Vernon Jr. is a

genius.  But I tell you, it's the last time I go shopping with those kids.  I took the little darlings over to Vern's

mother's place.  She has a nice big house.  They ought to have it leveled in about an hour or so.