Kung Fu - Helping Your Child Achieve their Black Sash

Jow Gar Kung Fu

James and Paola Gordon

Parents of Christopher and Sybilla

Paola and I have been asked more than once over the last few years how we managed to get both of our kids to stick with Kung Fu for so long. All in all, our kids have spent a combined total of around 10 years learning Kung Fu, which is actually quite remarkable given the range of other sports and activities that are available and the pressure that kids often get from their friends to participate in other things. It hasn't been all smooth sailing on the motivation front though. There were definitely times when our kids' motivation for Kung Fu waned and there were several things we did to help them get through those times.

One of the simplest things we learned was that sometimes they wouldn't want to go to Kung Fu because they were immersed in something else and didn't want to be dragged away from it to go to Kung Fu. Or they were "feeling a bit tired" or "not really feeling like Kung Fu today". In most cases, reminding them that they usually had fun when they went to Kung Fu was enough to convince them to go. Sometimes it would take a little more persuasion, but usually not too much. If they really were quite tired or coming down with something then we would let them skip, but generally speaking they were just being kids and once they got to Kung Fu they did, in fact, have a great time.

Another thing we noticed was that sometimes our son, in particular, would hit a peak with a certain form but if he didn't get to grade it within a few weeks of hitting that peak he would get bored with the form and, because of that, start to become quite demotivated. We found that the best thing we could do in this situation was talk to Sifu Nathan and the instructors and work out a way to get him grading the form to an acceptable standard in a reasonable amount of time. A couple of times this meant doing a private grading in the middle of the month, but it was worth it because his motivation levels would shoot up when he got to the next level.

And that brings me to the biggest motivator of all: gradings. The beauty of graded martial arts systems like Jow Gar Kung Fu is that they provide regular opportunities for assessment, feedback and promotion, which allows kids and adults alike to build self confidence and be recognised for their efforts as they advance to each new sash. It shouldn't come as a surprise that computer games are built on the same ideas, providing opportunities for players to "level up" by achieving certain goals and rewarding them with some kind of badge or token for their achievements.

Both of our kids would be pumped after each grading and would remain enthusiastic while they were learning their new form. The challenge would come once they had finished learning the sequence and were in the refinement stages. It was during this time that we would remind them how close they were to the next level and that each grading was bringing them closer to their ultimate goal. The fact that the instructors take the kids through a goal-setting exercise at the start of the year certainly helps in this regard.

Finally, we also talk to our kids at regular intervals about how they are enjoying Kung Fu and their other activities and what their goals and ambitions are. And we make sure we ask them these questions at the right time; for example, over a relaxed dinner on a non-busy night. This gives the kids time to think about their answers and it allows us to think about their answers and, if there are doubts around something like their commitment to Kung Fu, to be able to have a deeper discussion and explore things further.

We are very grateful to Ken, Eric and Harry, who have all played an important part in helping our kids remain focused at Kung Fu and, dare I say it, acting as terrific role models! :-) And we are also extremely grateful to Sifu Nathan, who really does go to a significant amount of effort to ensure that our kids are not only learning good Kung Fu, but respect, focus and self-discipline as well, as these are, in my opinion, the foundations for success in life.

James Gordon

Thank You

Jow Gar Kung Fu