How’s Your Emotional intellegence

8/7/2019 Hows Your Emotional intellegence

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HowHows Your Emotionals Your EmotionalIntelligence?Intelligence?

Competencies for Enhancing YourCompetencies for Enhancing Your

Effectiveness by Building Healthy andEffectiveness by Building Healthy and

Productive Relationships at WorkProductive Relationships at Work

With Jeff RussellWith Jeff Russell

Russell Consulting, Inc.Russell Consulting, Inc.Photograph 2006, Jeffrey Russell


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2007, Russell Consulting, Inc.2007, Russell Consulting, Inc. Helping Leaders Build and SustainHelping Leaders Build and Sustain GreatGreat Organizations!Organizations!

Learning ObjectivesLearning ObjectivesAs a result of participating in this session you will be able toAs a result of participating in this session you will be able to::

1.1. Discuss the three dimensions of competence at work.Discuss the three dimensions of competence at work.

2.2. Describe emotional intelligence and its role in work/lifeDescribe emotional intelligence and its role in work/lifeeffectiveness.effectiveness.

3.3. Identify the key competencies that enable someone toIdentify the key competencies that enable someone tobe emotionally intelligent.be emotionally intelligent.

4.4. Assess your emotional intelligence on the four EIAssess your emotional intelligence on the four EIdimensions and eighteen competencies.dimensions and eighteen competencies.

5.5. Practice slowing down an Amygdala Hijack andPractice slowing down an Amygdala Hijack and

demonstrate empathy for anotherdemonstrate empathy for anothers perspective.s perspective.6.6. Implement a personal plan for strengthening yourImplement a personal plan for strengthening your

emotional intelligence.emotional intelligence.


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The Three Essential CompetenciesThe Three Essential Competencies


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Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability toEmotional intelligence is the ability to

understandunderstand oneoness emotional makeemotional make--upup andandthe emotional makethe emotional make--up ofup ofothersothers and toand to

use insight from this knowledge touse insight from this knowledge to

effectivelyeffectively managemanage andand regulateregulate oneoness

own emotions to make good decisions andown emotions to make good decisions and

to act effectively.to act effectively.


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Multiple IntelligencesMultiple IntelligencesHoward Gardner proposed, rather than just IQ . . .Howard Gardner proposed, rather than just IQ . . .

Linguistic/verbalLinguistic/verbal

Mathematical/logicalMathematical/logical

Visual/spatialVisual/spatial

KinestheticKinesthetic

Musical/artisticMusical/artistic

IntrapersonalIntrapersonal

InterpersonalInterpersonal

EmotionalEmotional

NaturalisticNaturalistic

Traditional measures of intelligenceTraditional measures of intelligence(academic orientation)(academic orientation)


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Why It Matters . . .Why It Matters . . . Academic intellect isnAcademic intellect isnt enought enough

Technical proficiency doesnTechnical proficiency doesnt wint winthe prizethe prize

SelfSelf--management (control) and effectivemanagement (control) and effective

interpersonal relationships made theinterpersonal relationships made thedifference between success and failuredifference between success and failure

Managers/leaders have a profoundManagers/leaders have a profound

impact on the organization that theyimpact on the organization that theyleadlead


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The Four EIThe Four EI

DimensionsDimensionsStrong, Healthy

and Effective

Relationships

The driving purpose ofThe driving purpose of

emotional intelligenceemotional intelligence

and life in general!and life in general!

Self-Management


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SelfSelf--AwarenessAwareness

Knowing your internal emotional/cognitiveKnowing your internal emotional/cognitive

state, preferences, resources, and intuitionsstate, preferences, resources, and intuitions

EmotionalEmotional selfself--awarenessawareness

AccurateAccurate selfself--assessmentassessment

SelfSelf--confidenceconfidence


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SelfSelf--Management DimensionManagement Dimension

ManagingManaging your internal emotional/cognitiveyour internal emotional/cognitive

states, impulses, and resources to reach goalsstates, impulses, and resources to reach goals SelfSelf--controlcontrol

TransparencyTransparency

AdaptabilityAdaptability

AchievementAchievement

InitiativeInitiative

OptimismOptimism


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What Are Emotions?What Are Emotions?

HappinessHappinessSadnessSadness

SurpriseSurprise

DisgustDisgust

AngerAnger

FearFear

EcstasyEcstasy

DespairDespair

TerrorTerror LoveLove

AnxietyAnxiety

LongingLonging

SelfSelf--worthworth

What are the core emotions that people experience?What are the core emotions that people experience?

There are many more emotions that we feel than weThere are many more emotions that we feel than we

can label. Emotions are fundamentally notcan label. Emotions are fundamentally not

cognitive/verbal, so, as soon as we try to name them,cognitive/verbal, so, as soon as we try to name them,we begin to be cognitive instead.we begin to be cognitive instead.

Maurice Elias,Maurice Elias, Ph.DPh.D, co, co--authorauthor

Emot ionall y Int el l igent Parent ingEmot ionall y Int el l igent Parent ing


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EmotionalEmotional PowerPower!!

What I do!


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Neo-Cortex Brain

Our Three Brains . . .Our Three Brains . . .

Rudimentary brainRudimentary brain

Basic functionsBasic functions

Heart rate, breathingHeart rate, breathing

Formed on top of RFormed on top of R--brainbrain

Enabled learning: fight or flight!Enabled learning: fight or flight!

Site of emotions and emotional memorySite of emotions and emotional memory

Formed on top of and around limbic brainFormed on top of and around limbic brain

Core cognitive intelligenceCore cognitive intelligence

Site of working memorySite of working memory

Amygdala Fight or FlightFight or FlightResponseResponse


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An AmygdalaAn Amygdala HijackHijack!!!!You know that youYou know that youve been hijacked when . . .ve been hijacked when . . .

Emotions overwhelm your thinking and actionsEmotions overwhelm your thinking and actions

You are thinking and actingYou are thinking and acting against your own wi l lagainst your own wi l l!!

You are unable to accurately read othersYou are unable to accurately read others emotionsemotions

You canYou cant find the right words . . . (stumbling,t find the right words . . . (stumbling,

stuttering when you try to speak)stuttering when you try to speak) You are unable to focus your thinking or actionsYou are unable to focus your thinking or actions

YourYour fight or flightfight or flight response kicks in . . . heartresponse kicks in . . . heartraces, blood pressure increases, sweating profusely,races, blood pressure increases, sweating profusely,uneasy feeling in theuneasy feeling in the gut,gut, clenched jaw, twitching,clenched jaw, twitching,tapping foot, cold extremities as the brain rushestapping foot, cold extremities as the brain rushesblood to muscles needed for fighting or fleeing . . .blood to muscles needed for fighting or fleeing . . .


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The Ladder ofThe Ladder of

InferenceInference

Our beliefs andOur beliefs and

feelings affectfeelings affectwhat we paywhat we pay

attention toattention toYour

YourPathtoAction

PathtoAction


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Implications of the Ladder?Implications of the Ladder? Each of us creates aEach of us creates a storystory to help us fill in the details ofto help us fill in the details of

missing informationmissing information

Our stories are informed by history, culture,Our stories are informed by history, culture,misunderstandings, perceived and realmisunderstandings, perceived and real wrongswrongs (or(orrightsrights), and both within and outside of our awareness.), and both within and outside of our awareness.

The stories we tell chart ourThe stories we tell chart our Pat h to Act ionPat h to Act ion the route wethe route wefollow from observed events to the actions we take (whichfollow from observed events to the actions we take (whichmay or may not be grounded in reality)may or may not be grounded in reality)

We take theseWe take these flightsflights up the Ladder because of ourup the Ladder because of ourf undament al at t r ibut ion er rorf undament al at t r ibut ion er ror we tend to view otherswe tend to view othersbehaviors as due to theirbehaviors as due to their dispositiondispositionrather than theirrather than theirenvironmentenvironment


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Success is not final. Failure is notSuccess is not final. Failure is notfatal. It is the courage to continuefatal. It is the courage to continue

that makes the difference.that makes the difference.

Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill

Photograph 2006, Jeffrey Russell


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Be who you are and say whatBe who you are and say whatyou feel, because those whoyou feel, because those who

mind don't matter and thosemind don't matter and those

who matter don't mind.who matter don't mind.

Dr. SeussDr. Seuss



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Social Awareness DimensionSocial Awareness DimensionYour awareness of othersYour awareness of others feelings,feelings,

needs, and concernsneeds, and concerns

EmpathyEmpathy

OrganizationalOrganizational awarenessawareness

ServiceService orientationorientation


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Everything that irritates us aboutEverything that irritates us aboutothers can lead us to anothers can lead us to an

understanding of ourselves.understanding of ourselves. Carl JungCarl Jung

Swiss psychiatristSwiss psychiatrist

b. 1875, d. 1961b. 1875, d. 1961



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EmpathyEmpathy The ability toThe ability to understand, be awareunderstand, be aware

of, be sensitive to, and vicariouslyof, be sensitive to, and vicariouslyexperience the feelings, thoughts, andexperience the feelings, thoughts, and

experiences of another.experiences of another.

Demonstrating understanding of:Demonstrating understanding of: TheThe meaningmeaningof what was saidof what was said

TheThe feelingfeelingthat you sense that the personthat you sense that the person

was experiencingwas experiencing


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Developing EmpathyDeveloping Empathy Put yourself in the other personPut yourself in the other persons shoess shoes try to see thetry to see the

world from his orworld from his or herherss perspectiveperspective

Seek to understand the pressures, responsibilities,Seek to understand the pressures, responsibilities,expectations, and demands placed upon the other personexpectations, and demands placed upon the other person

InquireInquire. If the other person says something that sounds. If the other person says something that sounds

offoff or confusing, sayor confusing, say IId like to know more aboutd like to know more about

that.that.

Explore his or her reasoningExplore his or her reasoning. Behind every. Behind every positionposition andand

argument is a set of thoughts and feelings that are theargument is a set of thoughts and feelings that are the

underpinning of the position. By seeking to understandunderpinning of the position. By seeking to understandthe other personthe other persons reasoning, it builds a bridge tos reasoning, it builds a bridge to

understandingunderstanding


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Follow the threeFollow the three RRss Respect for selfRespect for self

Respect for othersRespect for others Responsibility for all yourResponsibility for all your

actionsactions

Dalai LamaDalai Lama



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Relationship Management DimensionRelationship Management Dimension

Adeptness at inducing desirableAdeptness at inducing desirable

responses in othersresponses in others InspirationInspiration

InfluenceInfluence

DevelopingDeveloping othersothers

ChangeChange catalystcatalyst

ConflictConflict managementmanagement

Teamwork andTeamwork and collaborationcollaboration


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ConflictConflict

Styles . . .Styles . . . Tough Battler

Friendly HelperAvoider

Compromiser

Una

ssertive

Assertive

Degree

ofAssertiven

ess

Uncooperative Cooperative

Degree of Cooperativeness


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Viewing Conflict as a CycleViewing Conflict as a Cycle

The Underlying

IssuesThe "Triggering"

Event

Overt Expression of

Conflict Behaviors

How can you use this model to reduce theHow can you use this model to reduce the

negative impacts of conflict?negative impacts of conflict?


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Seven Simple & Powerful TipsSeven Simple & Powerful Tips1.1. Take time every day to appreciate what isTake time every day to appreciate what is

right in the world/your liferight in the world/your life2.2. Increase your emotional word vocabularyIncrease your emotional word vocabulary

3.3. Be your own best friendBe your own best friend

4.4. Listen with your heartListen with your heart

5.5. Talk back to yourselfTalk back to yourself

6.6. Tune in to your bodyTune in to your body

7.7. Smile more!Smile more!


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EI and LeadershipEI and Leadership

The emotionally intelligent leader . . .The emotionally intelligent leader . . .

1.1. Commits to coCommits to co--creating ancreating anorganization in which individuals canorganization in which individuals canbe and do their best to achieve sharedbe and do their best to achieve sharedgoals.goals.

2.2. Encourages people to create andEncourages people to create andarticulate a shared vision and missionarticulate a shared vision and mission

that is inspiring.that is inspiring.

3.3. Shares authority and accountabilityShares authority and accountabilitywith others.with others.


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EI and LeadershipEI and Leadership

4.4. Encourages people to workEncourages people to workinterdependently to achieve a shared goal.interdependently to achieve a shared goal.

5.5.

CoCo

--creates a climate in which peoplecreates a climate in which people

respect each other, believe in their ownrespect each other, believe in their ownselfself--worth, and value authenticity.worth, and value authenticity.

6.6. CoCo--creates mechanisms so that meaningfulcreates mechanisms so that meaningful

and wholeand whole--hearted participation canhearted participation canhappen.happen.

7.7. Exercises his/herExercises his/her personalpersonalpower ensuringpower ensuring

that the best decisions are made yetthat the best decisions are made yetrefusing to be treated as or to regardrefusing to be treated as or to regardhim/herself as a heroic leader.him/herself as a heroic leader.


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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask,Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask,

"Where have I gone wrong?"Where have I gone wrong? Then a voice saysThen a voice says

to me, "This is going to take more than oneto me, "This is going to take more than one

night.night.

Charles M. SchulzCharles M. SchulzCharlie Brown in "Peanuts"Charlie Brown in "Peanuts"



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Somebody has to doSomebody has to do

something . . .something . . .

the late Jerry Garciathe late Jerry Garcia

(of the Grateful Dead)(of the Grateful Dead)

and it's just incrediblyand it's just incredibly

pathetic that it has to bepathetic that it has to be usus..



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Thank You!Thank You!

Good luck in developing andGood luck in developing andstrengthening your emotionalstrengthening your emotional

intelligence!intelligence!

For a copy of todayFor a copy of todayssPowerPoint presentation, go to:PowerPoint presentation, go to:

www.RussellConsultingInc.comwww.RussellConsultingInc.com


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How’s Your Emotional intellegence