GUTS Youth Leadership Corps

Interpersonal Skills

Important Interpersonal Skills

Understanding Personality Types Yours Others How to adapt to other personality types Difficult Combinations Social Styles under stress

Good Communication Skills How to communicate to others Active Listening

Dealing with Different People

Every type of personality can be difficult to deal with.

Sometimes it is difficult to talk to or explain things to different types of people

Here are some tipsFirst Identify what type of personality they have.Then approach them an try to communicate with

them in ways that match their personality

Lets Play PIGPersonality Identification Game

Everyone gets a card One side has a personality typeThe other side has the characteristics of that

personality type

Each player wears the card with the characteristics facing forward

Each player acts out the part while talking about mentoring and GUTS

Players mingle trying to identify the different personality types

The first person to identify all four personality types wins

Deal With Amiables (Doves)

Be gentle/not brash

Don’t overwhelm them or stress them

Show kindness and consideration

Slow your pace down / don’t rush them

Ask them to share their opinion

Give them personal and sincere praise

Deal With Analytics (Owls)

Don’t pressure them for decisions

Have the correct facts and information

Speak softly and calmly

Exercise patience around them

Practice being in an “ask mode”

Give them alone time and a private work area

Deal With Expressives

Lighten up and have a sense of humor

Let them talk / vent

Show an interest in their interests

Let them have fun and party

Try to see the “heart” of the issue

Give them grace when they’re in “reactive mode”

Deal with Drivers

Increase your pace

Get to the point!

Don’t take them personally

Practice being in a “task mode”

Let them take the lead / give them more responsibility

Most Difficult Combinations

Social Styles under Stress

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Good Communication SkillsListening –being an active listener

Observing –body language and unspoken words.

Communicating – be very clear in your presentation of facts and opinions.

Decentering –Communicate with them in ways they will understand.

Activity : Trust Walk

Good Listening SkillsActive Listening – involves paying attention to

verbal and non-verbal cues.

“I” Messages – avoid judging or placing blame. Keep communications open.

Paraphrasing – shows that you are listening by repeating what you just heard.

Open-ended Questions (not binary) – provide for explanations and more in-depth responses.

Listening Quiz: The Story

A businessman had just turned off the lights in the store when a man appeared and demanded money. The owner opened a cash register. The contents of the cash register were scooped up, and the man sped away. A member of the police force was notified promptly.

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Active Listening

An attempt to truly understand the content and emotion of the other person

Done by paying attention to the verbal and non-verbal messages.

The task is to focus, hear, respect, and communicate your desire to understand.

This is not the time to be focusing on how you feel.

Active Listening is NOT

Active Listening Guidelines

Empathize. Put yourself in the other person’s place to understand what that person is saying and how he or she feels.

Be attentive. Make an effort to listen carefully. Don’t daydream or talk when someone else is talking.

Active Listening Guidelines

Show understanding and acceptance by nonverbal behaviors.Tone of VoiceFacial ExpressionsGesturesEye ContactPostures

Active Listening Guidelines

Reflect back the person’s most important thoughts and feelings. Try to do this in your own words. Paraphrase or restate while being careful to say only what you heard.

Do not interrupt, offer advice, or give suggestions. Do not bring up similar feelings and problems from your own experience. Leave out your personal emotions, disagreements, opinions, and other feedback (unless you are asked for it).

Active Listening Guidelines

Remain neutral. Don’t take sides.

Ask open-ended questions. Ask for clarification but be polite and respectful. For example, ask “Can you say more about that?” or “What did you mean when you said…?”

Communicating Using “I” Messages

Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.”

It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.