A Parody for

Coffee People

By Dale E. Grind | Illustrated by Allie Ogg

ADVANCE READER EDITION

NOT FOR SALE Publication Date: November 2015

A Parody for Coffee People

By Dale E. Grind

Illustrated by Allie Ogg

This book is a parody and has not been prepared, approved, or authorized by the creators of Goodnight Moon or their heirs or representatives.

Copyright 2015 by Karla Oceanak and Allie Ogg

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by: Bailiwick Press 309 East Mulberry Street Fort Collins, Colorado 80524 www.bailiwickpress.com

Book design by: Launie Parry Red Letter Creative www.red-letter-creative.com

ISBN 978-1-934649-59-6

A Parody for Coffee People309 East Mulberry Street Fort Collins, Colorado 80524www.bailiwickpress.com

In the comfy green roomthere were twinkles of chrome,and a line-up of phones,and a stainless steel pitcher...

full of frothy steamed foam.

And there were three regulars sitting in chairs.

And wizard baristas and mom fashionistas.

And to-go cups with sleeves. And cute mugs like these.

And magical beans. And praise god, caffeine.

And wifi and laptops. And hipsters with flattops.

And a case flaunting treats.And syrupy sweets.

And a baritone brewer with a foamy moustache.And grinding and tampingand rumbling hellos...

And the aroma of ahhh...enchanting the nose.

Good morning brew. Good morning crew.

Good morning coffeehouse hullabaloo.

Good morning beans.

Good morning machines.

Good morning sounds. Good morning grounds.

Good morning half-and-half. Good morning carafe.

Good morning lattes and soy macchiatos

Goodnight barley. Goodnight Charlie.Good morning grande aficionados.

Good morning espressos and tidy flat whites.

Good morning mochas and frappé delights.

Good morning hum. Good morning yum.

Good morning drip. Good morning sip.

Good morning jumpstartand perky fanfare.

Goodnight barley. Goodnight Charlie.

And a baritone brewer with a foamy moustache.Good morning coffee lovers everywhere.

HOW TO MAKE A CUP OF COFFEE1. PLANT A

COFFEE TREE.

WAIT 4 OR 5 YEARS, THEN...

2. PICK THE TREE’S BRIGHT RED FRUITS, CALLED COFFEE CHERRIES.

6. COOL THEBEANS.

7. GRIND THE BEANS. IT TAKES 100 BEANS TO MAKE ONE CUP OF COFFEE.

8. BREW, PULL, PRESS, OR PERK THE GROUND COFFEE.

WAIT 4 OR 5 YEARS, THEN...

GRIND THE BEANS.

3. DRY THE CHERRIES.

4. REMOVE THE CHERRIES’ HUSKS. INSIDE ARE THE MAGIC, PALEGREEN BEANS.

5. ROAST THE GREENCOFFEE BEANS AT 550 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT UNTILTHEY ARE THE DESIRED LEVELOF BROWNNESS AND RELEASE THEIR NATURAL OILS.

9. POUR ANDEMBELLISH THE WAY YOU LIKE IT.

10. SIP.ENJOY. REPEAT.

BEAN HUSK

PULP

DRY THE CHERRIES.

DEGREES FAHRENHEIT UNTILTHEY ARE THE DESIRED LEVELOF BROWNNESS AND RELEASE THEIR NATURAL OILS.

BEAN HUSK

PULP

DID YOU KNOW? YOU CAN ADD YOUR FAVORITE SYRUP FLAVORS TO ANY ESPRESSO DRINK!

DO YOU SPEAK ESPRESSO?

DOPPIORISTRETTO

AFFOGATO

AMERICANO

CAFÉ AU LAIT

CAFÉ CRÈME

CAPPUCCINO

CORTADO

FLAT WHITE

ESPRESSO

LATTE

LUNGO

MACCHIATO

BREVE

MOCHA FRAPPÉ

ESPRESSO

CONCENTRATED ESPRESSO

LESS–CONCENTRATED ESPRESSO

CREMA

FOAMED MILK

HEAVY CREAM

HOT WATER

HALF & HALF

STEAMED MILK

MICROFOAMED MILK

ICE CREAM

CHOCOLATE

WHIPPED CREAM

BLENDED COFFEE, ICE, MILK & SYRUP

FROTH THAT FORMSATOP ESPRESSO

DOPPIORISTRETTO

CAFÉ AU LAIT

CAFÉ CRÈME CORTADO

LATTE

LUNGO

MACCHIATO

BREVE

www.bailiwickpress.com

HUMOR

As the Critter Joe coffeehouse opens for the day, the lion and kangaroo baristas welcome a menagerie of colorful customers. Join them in waking up to all the wonderful sights, sounds, and smells of everyone’s favorite a.m. ritual. Yay, coffee!

Whether you prefer brewed, pressed, or pulled; black or creamy; mochas or macchiatos—if you’ve gotta have your daily grind, this playful picture book for grown-ups is for you. Good Morning Brew is brought to you by the same author and illustrator team behind Goodnight Brew: A Parody for Beer People.

Need a refresher on how coffee travels from field to cup? Perplexed by espresso options? Don’t miss the bonus coffee infographics at the end of the book!

Dale E. Grind is the nom de brew of the author of the beloved Aldo Zelnick Comic Novel Series for young readers. Allie Ogg is an illustrator, potter, and fine artist. They both live in Fort Collins, Colorado, and are the team behind Goodnight Brew: A Parody for Beer People.

Publication: November 2015Hardcover (paper-over-board)ISBN 978-1-934649-59-6$16.95 USA / $20.99 CanadaBailiwick Press | 309 E. Mulberry Street | Fort Collins, CO 80524www.bailiwickpress.com

Bailiwick Press titles are distributed to the trade by Legato Publishers Group, an affiliate of Publishers Group West. www.legatopublishersgroup.com