“Giving Examples, Explaining and Other Writing Tips”. Common problems in students’ writing: 1. Overusing the same simple vocabulary 2. Not doing what the topic asks/ not following directions 3. Not turning in neat and attractive papers 4. Too many short and simple sentences. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Writing Good Essays
Giving Examples, Explaining and Other Writing Tips
Common problems in students writing:
1. Overusing the same simple vocabulary
2. Not doing what the topic asks/ not following directions
3. Not turning in neat and attractive papers
4. Too many short and simple sentences
and (drum roll, please) .
5. not explaining or giving enough examples in body paragraphs
Today we are going to discuss all 5 of these problems, ..
. with special attention on:
explaining and giving detailsin your body paragraphs
When you write something, do you ever stop to think about what other people will think about it?
Your essay should be neat and easy to readFact: The human eye is drawn to beauty..
People like to look at pretty things!
businesses know this ..
fashion designers know this .
movie producers know this .
Others who read you paper also like to look at beauty.
Think about your handwriting. Is it messy?
Is your handwriting so tiny that no one can read it?
(so tiny that no one can read it?)
Do people need special equipment to read your handwriting? !
Is it too light to read easily?
2 people go for a job interview. Which one looks like a better worker? Which man do you think is more likely to get the job?
2 students turn in an assignment. Which paper looks better?Which one looks like the student worked harder?
bad appearance = (often) bad content
good appearance =(often) good content
Neat writing is important!the handwriting is not too small
the handwriting is dark
the handwriting is easy-to-read so your handwriting should be neat!
Try not to use the same easy words over and over againQ: When you shop, what kinds of clothes do you usually buy?
White? Black? Grey? Tan?
No, you probably like colorful things
Which room is more interesting? This one?
Or this one?
When you use the same vocabulary again and again, your writing is kind of like this picture
Why not use a lot of different colors (vocabulary) to make it more interesting?
You can make your writing more colorful by using new and different vocabulary
Theres often more than 1 way to express ideas:
tell / say/ express / speak / scream / whisper / askProblem: Are your sentences too salty (do you repeat the same easy words again and again?)
I like to go to Al Ain Mall because its near my home. My favorite restaurant is Hatim because I like the food there. I shop at Paris Gallery because it has all my favorite perfumes. I also like to go there because of the games area and the cinema has good movies.
Solution: use synonyms
I like to go to Al Ain Mall because its near my home. My favorite restaurant is Hatim since I like the food there. I shop at Paris Gallery as it has all my favorite perfumes. Another reason I like to go there is for the games area, and the cinema has good movies.
What are some other ways to say these words?
and alsoin additionmoreoverfurthermoresothereforeas a resultconsequentlybutyethoweveron the other handin contrastlaterafter thatnextthenlater onafterwardsin conclusion
in summaryin briefin shortto sum upall in allYour fingerprints are unique
Your eyes are unique
That means YOU are unique, so your writing should be, too.
Using new and different vocabulary makes your writing unique.
Different is good!
Make sure you do what the topic is asks you to doWhen you go to a restaurant .Q: What will you do if the waitress brings you the wrong order?
Are you going to eat it, or are you going to send it back to get what you really wanted?
Enjoy your fish.Fish? I ordered PIZZA! I want PIZZA!Q: When you go the salon to get your hair done for a party or special occasion, how will you feel if they style your hair like this?
Of course, you expect to get exactly what you asked for. Anything less is unacceptable!
You would surely agree that following directions and doing things correctly is important.
Teachers, just like you, should receive exactly what they ask you for on your assignments.
Dont use a lot of short, simple sentencesDo your essays have only simple 4-5 word baby sentences?
My name is Mariam. I live in Al Ain. I have a big family. We live in Zakher. My major is Business.I enjoy shopping.
Problem: Are your sentences like chopped onions (too short?)
My name is Noof. Im from Sharjah. I have 10 brothers and sisters. We have a big villa. I like computers. My major is I.T.
Solution: combine some of your sentences
My name is Noof, and Im from Sharjah. I have 10 brothers and sisters, so we have a big villa. Because I like computers, my major is I.T.
A good essay is spicy it has simple sentences
it has compound sentences
it has complex sentences
Spice it up by using connectorsMy name is Mariam, and I live in Al Ain. Because I have a big family, we have a large villa in Zakher. I want to have my own company, so my major is Business. On the weekends, I spend time with my family. In addition, I enjoy shopping with friends.
Remember, people like to eat food that is spicy
people like food that has flavor
food without spices and flavor is boring!
You also should use spices and flavor in your writing
Here are some spices you can add to your writing:
moreoveruntilyet in contrastbecausehowever
althoughthereforeif as a result beforeso
Rule # 5:
Give lots of details and examplesQ: Have you ever bought a large bag of chips and opened it to find that .
.. its only about half full?
how does this make you feel?
Or imagine that you go to a restaurant, and heres the meal that they serve you:
salad main dish
Youre still hungry?Have some bread!
I think youll agree that this is not enough food.
Its a little bit of food, but not nearly enough to be a complete meal.
Level 1 Writing teachers very often see body paragraphs like this.
Students dont give enough details or examples; the paragraphs are incompleteWhen you go to a restaurant, you expect a complete dinner.
When you buy chips, you expect a full package.
Teachers , like you, want the complete package. When you write an essay, give lots of details and examples.
Problem: Are your paragraphs empty like a desert (with too few details?)
My bedroom is my favorite room. It is pink and. Its quiet. I like to sit in there with my sister. I can do what I want there.
Solution: add details
My bedroom is my favorite room. The walls are pink, and the carpet is white. My bed has a pink cover with lots of white pillows. The curtains are also pink. Theres a large window, so I can see our garden. Some family pictures are on the walls. Beside my bed theres a table with a lamp. Also, I have a desk and large wardrobe. This room is quiet, so I can study or read there. My sister likes to sit with me in my bedroom, and we can do what we want.Now your desert is a garden!
Useful words for explaining and giving examples:
because sincefurthermoremoreoverin additionfor examplefor instanceLook at the following sentences from Writing Project #1, about how a person looks and acts.
Have they been explained? Are there examples?
My mother is important in my life.
My sister is very beautiful.
My best friend Reem is a good person.
What about these statements. Have they been explained?
My mother is important in my life because she always listens to my problems and advises me.
My sister is very beautiful. She has long, thick, black hair, amazing green eyes, and a perfect smile.
My best friend Reem is a good person. For example, she always helps her younger sisters and brothers with their homework.
When you explain, you also answer questions, such as:
Who?What?When?Where?Why?How?There was one scary day in my life that I cannot forget.
What happened? --- an earthquakeWho was there? --- my friends and IWhere was this? --- in Mexico City, in a hotelWhen was this? --- July 10, 2001 at 3 a.m.Why was I scared? --- windows were shaking; walls were movingHow did we act? --- we were afraid, but we tried to stay calm; we stood in the doorway
When you describe something with lots of details and examples, the person who reads your paper can see a picture in his head.
Listen to 2 paragraphs about a wedding. Which paragraph has the best details and examples?
Which wedding can you see more in your mind?
My sisters wedding was a lot of fun. It was in 2003 at the Hilton in Al Ain. My whole family was there. There was a nice dinner. Everyone was happy. Later there was music, so some people danced. I took a lot of pictures of my sisters special day. We will miss her in our home, but I think she will be happy in her new life.
My sisters wedding was a lot of fun. It was in