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Page 1: GET UNSTUCK. 5 Steps to Clarity, Confidence and A ... · Get Unstuck – 5 Steps to Clarity, Confidence and a Fulfilling Life “Who you are meant to be evolves from where you are
Page 2: GET UNSTUCK. 5 Steps to Clarity, Confidence and A ... · Get Unstuck – 5 Steps to Clarity, Confidence and a Fulfilling Life “Who you are meant to be evolves from where you are

Ge t Uns tuck – 5 S teps t o C la r i t y, Con f i dence and a Fu l f i l l i ng L i f e

I’m so glad you chose to take a powerful step to Getting Unstuck. By sharing my journey and some powerful insights, I hope that you can use this as a guide to spur you to meaningful action. Even by taking this first step, you have created the first ripple in your life that will lead to change.

Now that you have created momentum, don’t stop. At the end of the guide we will discuss what you can do next to continue to take action and pursue clarity, gain confidence, and fulfilment.

Breathe & BE,

Omozua Isiramen

Certified Emotional Mastery & Intelligent Leadership Neuro Executive Coach

!

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Imagine that you’re taking a walk. You hear what sounds like an injured animal, softly whimpering. You investigate and realize the sounds are coming from a nearby porch. You move closer and discover a dog making these pitiful sounds. You take a closer look at the dog and you can’t find the source of his pain. Suddenly, the front door opens and an older gentleman comes out. You explain that you heard the animal and came to see if you could help. The old man smiles and then begins to shake his head.

“He is laying on a nail that’s poking him in the side”, he explains. You look even more bewildered, so he hastily adds, “He is free to get up and move, and Lord knows I’ve even moved him plenty of times myself. For some reason, though, he keeps coming back to this exact spot.”

“Why don’t you get rid of the nail?” You ask.

“Well, I figure if it hurts enough he’ll find a new spot to lay”, he says.

I’m not sure where I read this story, but it has stuck with me because I can relate. My story isn’t that dissimilar.

For a good portion of my life, I followed the ebb and flow of life. I let life lead me where it wanted me to go. I was focused on making ends meet, on getting a degree, on living by standards that I, myself had not set.

Like the dog in the story, I kept returning day after day to a life-path that was painful. I wasn’t happy or satisfied, and I felt truly stuck. What’s more, I had difficulty identifying the source of my dissatisfaction. I had a career path that was full of achievement and recognition; I had achieved goals I had set: big and small. This however, wasn’t enough. I still felt unfulfilled.

Finally, I had an epiphany: All along, I had been waiting around for some unknown “it” to happen to give myself the permission to start living, and this led me to a few powerful insights, which I would love to share with you quickly, before I walk you through the 5 Steps to Getting Unstuck.

Own your circumstances. Once I realized that I had spent far too much time waiting for some undefined event to magically occur, I had another epiphany.

My then-current circumstances hadn’t magically happened. I had made choices that led me down this path. So, why would I think that something else would happen to counteract all of those decisions? By not making solid, purpose-driven choices and following life’s inertia instead, I had still been making a choice.

I chose to go with the flow. Even for the events in my life I did not choose, such as the death of my mother at the age of 19, I was still in charge of me. I still chose my response and my coping mechanisms. This life was entirely of my own making.

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What did that mean for finding satisfaction and fulfilment? I could choose.

I’m the only one who could and can change my life.

I could stop waiting around for something magical to happen. I could change things

myself!

Faith in a destiny or purpose isn’t a bad thing, but actively pursuing your purpose isn’t a bad thing, either. I have a purpose in this life, and I needed to unlock that purpose. I needed something more to feel fulfilment. And I’m the only person who could do the work to figure it out.

While this thought was a bit overwhelming, it was also empowering to know I could do something to change my circumstances! I didn’t have to wait for someone or something else to do it for me.

Clarity of purpose only comes from action verbs. You know the saying - “Actions speak louder than words”.

Shutting daily life out long enough to seek clarity requires action and intention. For me, these are necessary steps to pursue clarity:

❖ Shut off all electronic devices. Everything.

❖ Lower the lights.

❖ Take care of all distractions in your environment before beginning.

❖ Write things down on paper as this makes your thoughts more tangible.

❖ Meditate, go for walks, and actively seek to bring more of what is working into your life

Focus internally. Make it happen. Make it a priority. Make yourself a priority.

This process will require deep work and alone time. To unlock your inner strengths and purpose, you will have to say no to others more often, so you can say yes to yourself.

Excuses and Using Affirmations When you begin finding excuses (due to fear or doubt), to put yourself lower on the priority list, begin a list of your own with affirmations and personal empowering phrases to bring things back into focus. These are some of mine:

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❖ My happiness is worth the work.

❖ My life is the only life I have and I want it to be meaningful and satisfying.

❖ Don’t back down.

❖ Transform yourself, don’t wait for others to do this for you.

❖ I am the CEO of my brain. I run it with confidence and ease.

❖ Serve and live more.

❖ Practicing self-care is part of taking action to ensure I feel fulfilled.

❖ My happiness is worth it! Don’t doubt for a moment that it isn’t.

Now to YOU.

You woke up this morning feeling stuck. Just like yesterday... and the day before... and the day before, but that will never happen again because today, you’re going to learn how you can go from where you currently are in your life to where you want to be in just 5 steps.

You are ready to understand how you can stop your brain from sabotaging your efforts to change, and how you can unleash your happiness, inner power and the life that you need, want and truly desire.

Now, if you’re anything like me, you don’t have a ton of time – plus, you’ve spent long enough waiting to get unstuck. So, grab a notebook and a pen, and let’s get started!

I'm Omozua and so excited that you are here. I'll be your guide on this empowering journey!

Step 1: Figure Out Who You Really Are In order to get clarity of what you want to achieve or aim for in life, you must clearly identify who you are for starters. Knowing what you stand for and what is highly important to you is essential when defining your vision and purpose.

First, make a list of at least 15 - 20 words that describe you. Now, don’t start listing “mother, father, spouse, co-worker” or anything like that. You’re so much more than the roles you play in life. There are tons of parents and spouses and co-workers and all those other titles out there.

You are unique – full of your very own talents, interests, experiences, and all sorts of other things that make you one-of-a-kind.

So, start making a list of everything that makes you YOU! No hiding behind all of the roles you play – even the super important ones, like parent and spouse!

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I challenge you to have the courage to get down to the nitty gritty of who you really are.

There’s ONLY ONE YOU!!

Got your list? Okay, next, you need to make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.

Be careful, though! Some of those things you might think of as weaknesses are really strengths in disguise.

Wait a minute, Omozua! That doesn't make sense!

Let me explain...

Are you disorganized... or creative? Are you inflexible... or structured? Are you irresponsible... or adventurous? Are you intimidating... or assertive? Are you arrogant... or self-confident?

That thing you’ve always seen as a weakness might just need a fresh, new name.

See how that works?

Goals for Step 1:

□ Start your journey of self-awareness.

□ Define who you are by identifying what means the most to you and what your values are.

□ Identify your strengths and weaknesses.

□ (Check them off after you've done them!)

Step 2: Figure out what you want — and what you don't want — in your life First, identify all of your obligations and responsibilities. These might include your job, your family, community activities, volunteer work, etc.

Everything on this list should be something that you’re responsible for and also, that others are depending on you to do. Now be kind to yourself – look at all those responsibilities and start to set your priorities right. This might also be a good time to start delegating where you can or letting go of those things you should not have on your list.

Next, it’s time for some fun! Make a list of your goals. What do YOU want to accomplish?

As you look at this list, make some notes about what it would take to get from where you are to where you want to be.

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“Who you are meant to be evolves from where you are right now.” -

Oprah

You might realize that you’re closer to reaching some of your goals than you thought, and you might be surprised that some of the goals you once had don’t really matter that much to you anymore. And if you don’t have any goals just yet? That’s OK! Everybody has to start somewhere.

Make sure to articulate your plans to your loved ones. Get them in your corner on this. It can be intimidating for spouses and children to watch their significant other or their parent making changes, but when you include them in the process, they can turn into your biggest cheerleaders.

Finally, you’re going to design your ideal life. On your own terms

Boy, does THAT sound like fun!! Before you get to the fun part, though, I want you to decide what DOESN’T belong in your ideal life.

Think about it like this: You’re the Ruler of You. What doesn’t belong in your kingdom?

Maybe it’s going to the gym. Maybe it’s those mundane tasks you have to do every day at work. Maybe it’s sitting down to pay the bills. Maybe it’s sitting in meetings where you aren’t making any difference. Maybe it is having conversations that are highly inefficient.

Whatever it is, you know there are THOSE things that you just dislike doing.

Alright, Ruler of Your Kingdom, it’s time to make the other list! This is the list of things that make you happy. The things that bring you joy and pull on your heartstrings.

Ensure that what you write down on this list are things you are really grateful for and sure about: you are able to describe why you want them in your life, what good they bring to your life, and are willing to have more of in your life.

Using all the information that you have now gathered about yourself, write down your vision for your life and all you need to make that vision a reality.

Goals for Step 2:

□ Make a list of your obligations and responsibilities.

□ Make a list of your goals – and determine what you need to do to achieve them.

□ Imagine how you would spend your life if money wasn’t an issue. Write your thoughts down. So much clarity comes from doing this exercise.

□ Write down your vision - write in the first person and add a date to it. For example, 6 months from this moment … this is where I see myself and this is what I am doing ... This serves as an additional source of motivation.

□ Now, start to design your perfect life step by step.

You must plan and block out time to focus on your steps, as time blocking is essential to productivity. (Check them off after you’ve done them!)

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Step 3: Figure Out What's Holding You Back. FEAR of…? First, you’ve got to be honest with yourself. Not making a change is riskier long-term, than the temporary discomfort of expanding beyond your comfort zone. There’s something that’s holding you back from living the life you long to live. It may be an unnamed fear or insecurity. Glossing over that thing that holds you back won’t make it go away. You may have to do some digging deep down into your heart because real issues can be scary to uncover.

Put it all on paper because once you give it a name and a voice, it won’t seem so scary anymore.

Goals for Step 3:

□ Make a list of your fears, insecurities, and anything else you think might be holding you back.

Use these few tips when reflecting about your fears:

Get to know the fear, ask yourself these questions and truly answer them

□ Why do I fear (fill in the blank)?

□ When did I begin having this fear?

□ What is the worst thing that can happen?

□ What do I know about this fear?

□ What do I need to know about this fear?

□ Research what you fear and seek solutions.

□ Remember that fear is an irrational thought that feels real.

□ What is a fear you need to face now to start your journey of change?

Enlist a friend as an accountability partner or connect with a therapist or coach to help you work through deeper issues.

(Check them off after you've done them!)

***In some cases, you may need to seek help from someone else to get down to the core issue. It is not always easy or possible to deal with complex things alone. If you need motivation or need to overcome procrastination, you might want to enlist the help of a friend or a co-worker to help hold you accountable as you work to reach your goals. If you’re wrestling with fear and anxiety, though, you might want to seek the help of a professional, counsellor or a life coach, since these emotions might be rooted much deeper than what you can overcome on your own. A therapist or a coach can help you manage these feelings. ***

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Step 3a: Master your Emotions (Emotional Mastery) A known fact of the human being, is that our ability to do things always starts in the mind and brain, and then manifests through our thoughts and feelings into actions we carry out. As children we learn and are taught a lot about what we should or should not do. But we are not taught anything about handling or optimizing emotions effectively, or addressing their importance in how we communicate and relate with others; or how we live life and make decisions. The issue however is that unchecked feelings and emotions tend to take over our handling; becoming a hindering inner chorus of voices in our heads which make us feel bad and poorly as we go about our daily business.

To experience life with ease, it is necessary to make sure that one is not emotionally laden as rational thinking and going with the flow is not given this way. A person shuts down to anything objective, when an emotion becomes bigger than oneself.

Facts about emotions

❖ Emotions first occur in the brain at a subconscious level

❖ The brain sends signals to our bodies and we experience and interpret these signals as feelings

❖ We then give these feelings a name: sadness, anger, happiness, jealousy, melancholy, fear, joy etc.

❖ Based on our upbringing, experiences and what we know, we react on autopilot. The brain is always there to protect and keep us safe. The brain interprets something and we react.

❖ Important here is the word react.

❖ Reaction happens in the brain while responses occur in the mind.

❖ The brain always does its job, and does not distinguish between good and bad. It identifies something as danger and makes you react (freeze, flee or fight) to guide you to safety.

❖ For example, you have an upcoming exam and get so worried about it. The worry becomes fear the more you think about it and then, you decide to cancel or postpone doing it. Another example, you have the skills and qualifications for a new position you have always wished for, but you start to worry about the new responsibilities, the changes, if you are good enough and fear sets in and you react by not applying. This may feel like safety, right? Or is this rather the kind of thing that keeps so many people in the world stuck?

❖ Reacting is a natural thing but emotional mastery comes from facing the emotion and not letting the brain take over, rather activating your conscious mind, and responding to the situation resourcefully.

❖ There is so much power in seeing beyond the emotion, and asking a very important question which is “why”/what is the real cause?

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❖ Thereafter, it is about using the insights from asking that powerful question, and only then responding to the situation at hand.

❖ Being mindful of the true cause of a feeling and emotions, is what will help you to create new ways of living your life.

❖ You get rid of old formulas you have used to react to things in the past, you learn how to use your mind to see clearly when problem-solving, you are no more a victim of disproportionate reactions on your part and the negative effects this may bring with it.

❖ When you are able to understand and tap into the real meaning of an emotion, you are able to pass through un-resourceful emotions

❖ With this new understanding, you become confident simply because you know that emotions do not bring you down, they pass, and remind you that you can pass through an emotion without falling into complete ineffectiveness.

Powerful steps you should take to understand, master, and direct your emotions for a resourceful control

***Take your time doing these steps - the more you practice, the easier it gets and the more clarity and confidence you build from time to time.

❖ Pause to think and identify the emotion.

❖ Name it clearly in the moment, i.e. what is it that you are really feeling.

❖ Once you name the emotion you are feeling, simply go through it, acknowledge its presence.

❖ Note down and explore why that feeling is there at that moment and okay, i.e. poses no real harm to you

❖ Dig a little deeper: Where are you, what is happening in your environment at that moment and describe why you are experiencing that particular emotion.

❖ Go on a little journey back to a recent past, when you probably experienced the same emotion and reflect on that time. A powerful thing to note here is that the emotion is nothing new, as you have experienced it before and you are still the person you are: not broken – still standing tall.

❖ Now recall and write down what you did back then to get through the emotion, and the un-resourceful state it put you in back then.

❖ Finally, using all the new insights from the steps you have taken so far, delve into this new ability with ease and confidence. You are now able to face your emotions as they come, and instead of just reacting, you can now respond in a resourceful manner without falling back into old habits where the emotion took control of your whole being, in and out.

❖ You become compassionate, take responsibility for your life, are able to put things in perspective, contribute to the world by teaching one person at a time to respond, and become your best version each time you respond to an emotion rather than immediately reacting without clarity.

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❖ You start to set and reach your goals confidently because you know you can overcome the hurdles you come across.

❖ You know YOU master your emotions and not vice versa.

Step 4: Figure Out Your Plan Start by acknowledging how you reached this point – the good and the bad. You made choices that landed you here. Whether you like your current circumstances or not, you drove the car that got you here.

Let go of any judgement or evaluation. You now know what matters to you. You have rid yourself of unhelpful distractions.

If you don’t like where you are, accept that if you had the power to get yourself here with your choices, which means you also have the power to get yourself OUT of here with your choices.

Accept your current situation – and forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made along the way.

No matter how you feel right now, the truth is that you create your own circumstances – both good and bad. Own this role! Step into your power, and realize that you can create your own circumstances.

And you can set goals and outline your plan now from the increasing self-confidence and clarity you have acquired. You have control over your emotions and memories and are able to access the memories and emotions of your past that will help you.

Each morning set a goal or intention for the day no matter how small. If you feel that something has to be on your list and it is significant, then go for it. The important thing and what matters most is that you are moving forward.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Start to write down what you want to accomplish over the next six to nine months. Consider the points and challenges that are most important.

Identify two to three things you need to do to meet this challenge.

It’s hard work, but it’s work you must do if you want to move forward in the direction of your goals.

Decide right now that you can rewrite your story. You can be the master of your own destiny.

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Goals for Step 4:

□ Accept your current situation. Forgive yourself and let go of all that does not serve you on this journey of growth.

□ Decide that you can rewrite your story and create a new future. Start now.

□ Outline your plan and be clear about your strategy. Be specific and clear, your steps should be believable and achievable.

□ Now, write down the action steps that need to be taken to reach the goals.

□ Start to journal as you embark on this journey. Write down what you are grateful for daily. Always remember that the list is not the driver here – it is all about how you want to feel at the end of every day.

(Check them off after you've done them!)

Step 5: It's Time to Take Your First Step! OK, you can see the big picture now, and you’re excited! Zoom in! For many, the first step is the most difficult. For others, determining the first step is a breeze, but they lack follow-through. When you hone in one piece of the big picture at a time, you will slowly chip away at your goals and find that the whole process is much less overwhelming than you once thought.

Not only will focusing on one piece of the big picture help you focus better, it will allow you to have small successes along the way. Seeing your own success – even in small pieces – will motivate you to keep going. You are the only one in charge of your life, and only with this understanding will you be able to do something about your situation.

Unlocking an empowered, satisfied you won’t be a one-step process, but it will be worth it long-term. I would be honoured to walk with you in the process and I believe you have reached your limit, which is why you are here right now. You need more in life.

Reflections and Goals for Step 5:

□ When is it going to hurt enough?

□ Like the dog in the beginning, when will it hurt enough for you to do something about it? When will your happiness and fulfilment become a priority?

□ When are you done drifting, listlessly and endlessly being pushed, and pulled by the tide?

□ Take the first step right now to get unstuck and become a more phenomenal you! Don’t wait one more day to realize your potential and pursue your passion.

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□ Choose one small step you can take toward reaching your goal and begin working to achieve it.

(Check them off after you've done them!)

………………………..

If what I have shared spoke to you, I would love to hear from you. If you’d like help on your journey, I would be glad to work with you. Take the next step by contacting me. I can help you figure out a plan of action to pursue clarity of purpose.

I’ll teach you how to develop an actionable strategy that best fits your unique abilities, strengths, and situation, beginning with a comprehensive evaluation of your current state and where you want to be.

My approach is one of action. I equip you with the tools needed to start living a life driven by purpose. We would start with a Free Discovery Session, so we can both get to know each other and I can assess your specific needs.

Take the next step by contacting me, Omozua, and let’s get you moving forward! Find me at omozua.com or email me anytime at [email protected].

About Omozua Isiramen Certified Emotional Mastery & Intelligent Leadership Neuro Executive Coach

Omozua guides executives, mid and top-level professionals and Entrepreneurs to Navigate their Brain & Emotions for Growth, Leadership, Effective Communication & Results.

She helps her clients explore the depths of their emotions, deepen the way their brains touch on life issues and ultimately help her clients live a fulfilling life. She has worn various hats as a teacher, pedagogical supervisor, chef, stylist, and life coach. She has spent years working and helping both women and men live more joyful and richer lives. Using proven techniques, tools, skills, years of coaching experience and trainings in neuroscience, she helps her clients transition from

an undesired state A to a desired state B. Her approach is one based on the human’s inner core first, and is driven to help them step out of their comfort or “pain zones” by understanding and running their emotions, and to start aiming for the things that truly matter to them with ease and confidence.

If you truly need long-lasting change and want to manage your career to yield the most impact by identifying what you truly want, you can book a discovery call with her.

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She will work with you to look specifically at the things that may be undermining your confidence, and chart a way forward for you starting from wherever you are in the process.

Nothing says it better than hearing from individuals whose lives were positively impacted by Coaching with Omozua.

“If you cannot find your way, if you cannot manage a situation, or you are in a bad period I suggest you start with Omozua’s empowering sessions.” — V. Ingala

“When I started her program in life coaching, it took me the blink of an eye to realize the amazing journey I was on. In the work done in the following six months, Omozua and I took a journey where I could mirror myself in her openness, sensitivity, intuition and fidelity to understand the processes by which I reproduced myself as a person in life.” — Mauro Pizziolo

“...reaching your goals is not easy, you have to work hard every day, but the result is amazing and you will be ready to start your new life.” — V. Ingala

“When she speaks you feel everything is possible and all dreams and targets are in your reach. And that is exactly what I need; someone to help me believe in myself and believe that I can make my dreams come true... I definitely recommend these sessions with her, and look forward to continuing mine. Absolutely fantastic.” — Melody Cooper

“During my coaching sessions with her, I experienced having to become exposed and vulnerable regarding the weaknesses I needed to overcome. It was met with kindness, and a clear way forward to move outside my comfort zone and strive to change. In summary, Omozua can make you see the lightning without feeling the bolt.” — Ella Alcasas

“After being coached by her on many occasions, I can confidently say Omozua has helped me to focus on what is best and most important for me now in my life. I never felt our time together was wasted, but instead purposeful and practical. I highly recommend Omozua to people wishing to better understand how to get where they want to be, but find it hard getting to the first step. She will work with you to find a way.” — Danielle Diamond

For more information, resources and more, visit omozua.com

Take the first step today—book your free Discovery Session with me today.

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