Name David Stolarsky Nominating Dirty Crew Football Club (“dCfC”)

Chris Beitel Andres Black Terence Crofts

Football =

Soccer

David Grayson Umair Irfan Dan Pleck John Sapp Max Schnuer Andy Seth Gerry Shih Nick Smith Michael Socie Ravi Solter David Stolarsky Triet Vuong Jon Weissman Mark Yates-White

On Wednesday April 7th, 2004, the Uni High lounge hosted its first press

conference. Namely, the Dirty Crew Football Club signed for their numbers in a most eloquent black-tie-optional ceremony. Roughly 100 Uni students, faculty, and parents watched as Dan Pleck, the club’s manager and owner, gave his opening remarks. Loud applause was heard as the dCfC filed into the lounge in their Gucci suits. One by one, each player was announced to the audience as he signed his contract. Flashbulbs fired as the player held up his uniform and turned it around to reveal his name and number on the back. The dCfC put their uniforms on over their jackets and raised their hands high for one final cheer, before they exited the lounge and were chased by vicious autograph-seekers. Many asked for autographs on their programs, but most requested the players sign their bodies. Photographs were taken outside, and finally the team returned to class.

Dirty Crew Football Club is an official Urbana Park District adult soccer league

team. There are 9 teams in the league, mostly consisting of young people who are older than the dCfC (young = graduated high school in 1972 or later) and older people (graduated before 1972). The dCfC displayed its promising potential in a pre-season win over one of the Illini Football Club’s teams. dCfC was formed because of 17 men’s love for the game of football, for each other, and for the green which paves the way to every goal.

The dCfC deserves recognition for the following reasons:

1. Creative Effort. In the month leading up the signing and the beginning of the season, members of the then-future dCfC embarked upon a project of professional proportion. The logo for the uniforms was designed, by hand, by Ravi Solter. Ravi also conceived the style of the uniforms and arranged for screen printing by Weiskamp Screen Printing. Invitations (designed by Dan Pleck and David Stolarsky, see attached) were posted on every locker in the school a week before the signing ceremony took place. A pre-season highlight poster designed by John Sapp decorated the lounge wall during the signing, and music selected by Max Schnuer filled the air.

2. Enterprise. The Dirty Crew has been known, on occasion, to think up wylde schemes of everything short of world domination. It hasn’t the time to see all of its ideas to term, but dCfC sits proudly at the top of the dC’s list of all-time most successful endeavors, closely followed by such institutions as dirty crew basketball and dirty crew suits (randomly wearing formal suits to school).

3. Following. Mr. Sutton joined dCfC in wearing formal attire for the day of the signing—Mr. Sutton, a man who is not known for his love of Gucci suits and Bling-Bling, who nonetheless saw it fit to bless the occasion with a sharp suit of his own. Director Patton graciously showed her support for dCfC by condoning the borrowing of University High School envelopes for the delivery of invitations to the faculty. David Stolarsky witnessed, with his own eyes, Ito Sensei telling Lisa Micele that she did not have time to watch the signing and Lisa proceeding to physically drag Sensei into the lounge. Parents are excited, friends are excited, and once again, most autograph-seekers requested that players sign their bodies.

Thank you for your time. Please enjoy the attached documents, and good deciding to you! Sincerely on behalf of the dCfC, David Nels Stolarsky

April 2nd, 2004

Dear Sir or Madame: You are cordially invited to attend D.C. Football Club’s exclusive signing ceremony next Wednesday, April 7th in the Uni High Student Lounge. The event will take place during lunch. The ceremony will start off with a short introduction from club owner Daniel H. Pleck regarding the new season. This will be followed by the official signing of all 15 of D.C. Football Club’s newest additions to the squad, presented by team captain Ravi Solter. Photo opportunities will be allotted for each individual player. Please feel free to bring your cameras and take advantage of these opportunities. Flash photography is encouraged. The players will take any questions you might have after they each have received their jerseys. The 2004/2005 Edition of the D.C.F.C. Home Jersey will also be unveiled at the event. The following players will be signed and presented with their jerseys: Chris Beitel John Sapp Nick Smith Andres Black Max Schnuer David Stolarsky Terence Crofts Andy Seth Jon Weissman David Grayson Gerry Shih Mark Yates-White Umair Irfan Michael Socie Triet Vuong This function will commence at 11:45 sharp and will go on through the lunch period. Unfortunately, we cannot seat all invited persons. Seniority will be enforced if necessary. Sincerely,

Daniel H. Pleck Ravi Solter Club Owner and Manager Public Relations Director and Team Captain

PLEASE REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED. IT’S AN HONOR TO BE PART OF

HISTORY IN THE MAKING, THIS WILL GO DOWN AS THE GREATEST UNI HIGH ATHLETIC EVENT OF ALL TIME! SO PLEASE RESPECT THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE

PRESIDINGS.