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Feedback–
WE PROMISED in our last issue to
publish the top 10 runners-up in our
“Flirt with science” competition, in
which readers were invited to seduce
the person of their dreams with a
science-related chat-up line. In the
event we have decided to give you not
just 10 but 15. We hope you’ll agree it
would have been a shame to leave any
of these out.
We are glad to include here one of
the chat-up lines that was once actually
used – to great effect. We also include
two extra submissions from one of our
competition winners, Yonatan Silver.
I need a seed for my pseudo-random
number generator – could I have your
phone number?
Ian Marshall
Palo Alto, California, US
Your universe or mine?
and
Hello, did you know that I’ve invented
calorie-free chocolate, and I’ve got some
back at my place?
Attracta Uí Bhroin
Dublin, Ireland
You’re so sweet I am developing
insulin resistance.
Alex Carlton
Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, UK
What’s a nice girl like you doing in
a superposition like this?
Nigel Eaton
Hitchin, Hertfordshire, UK
Did you know that if oysters had no natural
enemies, in 10 years the world would be
28 miles deep in oysters? (We married in
1968 and are still going strong.)
Michael Boddy
Binalong, New South Wales, Australia
Hello, I am Bob. You must be Alice. You
haven’t changed a bit!
J. H. Van Veen
Voorschoten, The Netherlands
As a quantum physicist, the moment
I observed you I determined that we
were heading to your place or mine.
and
Of all the bars, on all the planets where
conditions support intelligent, bipedal,
carbon-based life forms…
Yonatan Silver
Jerusalem, Israel
Hello, I’m Doctor Frankenstein – and I’ve
got a monster!
Allan Whatling
St Mawgan, Cornwall, UK
I’ve got some francium back at my place.
and
You have a hyperfine structure.
Ilona Schofield and Caroline Riggs
Brighton, East Sussex, UK
Forget what they say about butterflies,
I think that you could whip up a storm
just by fluttering your eyelashes.
Justin Byrne
Dublin, Ireland
How can I know a hundred digits of pi, but
not the 11 digits of your phone number?
Yuan Yang
Leeds, Yorkshire, UK
Looking at you, creationists may have
a point after all.
Amy Fairbrother
Northcliff, South Africa
TURNING to other matters, dramatic
news has reached us via the Remote
Sensing and Photogrammetry Society’s
announcement that the Earth
observation team within the UK
government’s environment
department has been organising “a
series of awareness raising events”.
Good thing too. We, for example,
didn’t know until we visited www.
defra.gov.uk/science/Earth
Observation.htm that satellites are
used to watch crops growing, not
growing, or being built over – as well as
other important things like the effects
of climate change.
So what was the occasion? The
society explains at http://ageofspace.
notlong.com that the events held at the
end of 2007 were “coinciding with the
50th anniversary of space”.
Is this a new date for the big bang?
Should the creationists be told? Or is
it just that crystal-gazer models of the
cosmos have gained greater credence
in some quarters than we had expected?
A SIGN at Holborn, the underground station
nearest the New Scientist London office,
stated: “Camden Town station is closed due
to a localised event taking place.” This,
presumably, was to distinguish it from
all those non-localised, quantum events
encouraged by announcements such as:
“Use all doors to exit.”
Even so, wouldn’t it have been simpler
just to say that Camden Town station was
closed “because something happened”?
FINALLY, several readers have told us
about signs on motorways around the
UK that tell drivers: “Please use
existing road signs.” Matt Kelland
probably speaks for all of them when
he observes: “I tried using the other
kind, but couldn’t find any.”
You can send stories to Feedback by email
at [email protected]. Please
include your home address. This week’s and
past Feedbacks can be seen on our website.
PAU
L M
CDEV
ITT
64 | NewScientist | 5 January 2008 www.newscientist.com
An email entitled “Pumpkins, Rage Under Voodoo Spell” left Colin Deady disappointed, there being nothing in it about how to make vegetables furious with magic. Just another promise to make him more attractive
