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Letter From e Editor: By Adolph Sloan Reader, ank you for reading Extra, Extra #2, a self- published community bulletin. I hoped issue 1 would be the last issue, as I misjudged the amount of work and money needed to make these community bulletins. First of all, I was told that the ads in this issue would subsidize the cost of printing. What I failed to understand was that I’m responsible for subsidizing this cost myself, out of pocket! Not only do I pay to print this community bulletin, I also pay for every ad I print! Plus I pay licensing fees and royalties on every comic strip. Last issue had six! I’m still unclear on the meaning of subsidization, but I was told the more ads I put in the paper the less money it will cost to me. So, despite my better judgement, I present to you issue 2, in hopes that it will pay for itself as well as issue 1. At least Mother is happy now that she gets to write her advice column again. Without further ado, here’s more ads! --Adolph We all love the taste of freshly toasted bread, but waiting for the toaster can be a real drag! Use this method to cut back on toasting time and get the toasty flavor you crave, whenever you need it. 1. Toast an entire loaf of bread to your desired level of toastiness. Yum! 2. Wrap each slice of toasted bread in wax paper, then in aluminum foil, carefully sealing the edges to preserve that fresh-toasted flavor! 3. Place the individually wrapped slices in the back of your refrigerator. Store for up to 6 months, or freeze them for up to a year. 4. Whenever you’re in the mood for toast, just unwrap a slice and pop it in the microwave it on medium-low for 40-45 seconds, or until that delicious toasty aroma lets you know – it’s time for toast! Chef-Professor Lorenzo Timesaver’s “Time-Saving” K i t c h e n T i p s ! ONLY 69¢! TEMP 420˚

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Adolph and Pixie Sloan return with more sadness, comics and ads.

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Page 1: Extra, Extra! #2

Letter From The Editor: By Adolph Sloan Reader,

Thank you for reading Extra, Extra #2, a self-published community bulletin. I hoped issue 1 would be the last issue, as I misjudged the amount of work and money needed to make these community bulletins. First of all, I was told that the ads in this issue would subsidize the cost of printing. What I failed to understand was that I’m responsible for subsidizing this cost myself, out of pocket! Not only do I pay to print this community bulletin, I also pay for every ad I print! Plus I pay licensing fees and royalties on every comic strip. Last issue had six! I’m still unclear on the meaning of subsidization, but I was told the more ads I put in the paper the less money it will cost to me. So, despite my better judgement, I present to you issue 2, in hopes that it will pay for itself as well as issue 1. At least Mother is happy now that she gets to write her advice column again. Without further ado, here’s more ads!--Adolph

We all love the taste of freshly toasted bread, but waiting for the toaster can be a real drag! Use this method to cut back on toasting time and get the toasty flavor you crave, whenever you need it.1. Toast an entire loaf of bread to your desired level of toastiness. Yum!2. Wrap each slice of toasted bread in wax paper, then in aluminum foil, carefully sealing the edges to preserve that fresh-toasted flavor!3. Place the individually wrapped slices in the back of your refrigerator. Store for up to 6 months, or freeze them for up to a year.4. Whenever you’re in the mood for toast, just unwrap a slice and pop it in the microwave it on medium-low for 40-45 seconds, or until that delicious toasty aroma lets you know – it’s time for toast!

Chef-Professor Lorenzo Timesaver’s “Time-Saving”

Kitchen

Tips!

ONLY 69¢!

TEMP 420˚

Page 2: Extra, Extra! #2

Pixie Sloan is a syndicated advice columnist, published in renowned newspapers for over 69 years. Email [email protected] to send in your questions.

Why, for-the-love-of-”slime ball”-Mike-Madigan, do people in Illinois still pay taxes! We have the lottery and tollway! They claim taxes help pay for the roads and schools, yet both are going broke. Still more and more people buy lottery tickets! The government makes record amounts of money, yet schools still go broke. What is the real truth here? What state official has a condo in Cabo? Explain that Pixey! By the way you don’t work at the Grundy County Times, do you? --Thanks, Wade Herter

Wade,I’m sure my column was syndicated in the Grundy County Times! I get fan mail from

Verona. You bring up an interesting question: what are taxes for, really? Honestly, I’m not so sure. Especially in regards to sales tax! Did you know: you’re not supposed to charge sales tax on magazines? I’m not sure why, but it’s true. Not everyone knows that magazines don’t have sales tax though! I remember once I went to a drug store in another town and found four good magazines. Since the clerk tried charging me sales tax on all four, I ended up refusing to buy them. I got into an argument with the clerk and left the magazines right on the counter. What does polar bear taste like? --So long, James Webb

James,I never traveled beyond the boarders of the United States, but I was blessed to live close to a world-renowned exotic meat shop. I tasted crocodile, hummingbird, raccoon and ferret. My husband, God rest his soul, became addicted to snake. Unfortunately, the shop never stocked polar bear, though they did have black bear but I didn’t get a chance to try it before they closed. The shop owner was sentenced to seven years in prison for breaking international trade law.

My 8-year-old won’t stop pestering me about getting a kitten. He asks me at least three times a day. I want him to have one, no one is allergic to cats. In fact, I’d like him to learn some responsibility. The only problem is my husband is a sociopath who will murder and torture the poor thing. Should I buy my son a cat? ---xoxo, Nikko Hussein Elliott

Nikko,You’d be surprised at what an animal can endure. I watched a video on the internet of all kinds of unlikely animal pairings. I saw a squirrel tease a baby cat, a small dog rode a turtle, an adult cat made friends with a lizard, parakeets fed dogs from their mouth. What I’m saying is, the animal kingdom is very mysterious. There’s a good chance a cat can be a companion to your boy and escape your husband’s urges as long as you pick the right cat. I recommend vetting a large pool of cat applicant to find the perfect pet that’s both cute and cunning.

Yours Truly! Pixie Sloan

Common Cents with Pixie Sloan

by“Steve” Schaberg,@extranapkins

Nicky Martin, @911Y2KNate Brewer, @natebrewer