Emotional Ups and Downs

Happy, Sad, Teenage, Love,

romance, worried, angry, talk,

friends, family, boys, girls,

teenager, eager, romantic,

excited, happy

Get to know yourself!

Growing up is a challenge. Sometimes you feel so happy, talking with friends, and sometimes you can feel so worried. Let's talk about this and just remember: all adults had to grow up!

You're not alone! Maybe you feel alone sometimes, but in fact there are lots of young people just like you. Let's look at some of the main problems young people face.

Jemanesh, 14 "if I fail my exams then my parents will force me to marry"

Binyam, 12 "All my age mates are tall and I am short, I feel so uncomfortable, what should I do ?“

Yemsrach, 13 "Sometimes friends tease me because I'm fat.

•"Simneneh, 16 "My friends all have girlfriends but I don't; is there something wrong with me?"

Hiwot, 14 "A 15 year old boy has been telling me that I am ready for sex. I have told him that I am not ready yet, He got angry, I thought he was my friend."

Feleku, 17 "My parents want me to spend all my time looking after my younger brothers and sisters, but then I don't have time to study." Binyam 18 "There's a girl who I love, I have sent her letters, I can't concentrate, what can I do?"

Do you have a problem at the moment?

It's good to talk about problems;a problem shared is a problem halved.Did you know that all young people worry about their appearance, their performance or their future?

Yemsrach and Binyam for example are worried about their appearance. Yemsrach's friends tease her for being too fat, and Binyam feels uncomfortable being short. There are two issues involved here: Self-esteem and Friends

What is self-esteem?

Self esteem is feeling good about yourself. Each one of us is special in a way that is different from our friends, brothers or sisters. These differences make life interesting. Respect yourself. This is a very good feeling, and when you feel worthy of love and respect, you will expect it from others. Having high self-esteem doesn't mean that you never get upset or angry with yourself. But someone with high self-esteem accepts his or her mistakes and moves on.

High self-esteem is also different from pride or conceit. People with high self-esteem like themselves, but that doesn't mean that they think that they are perfect or are better than other people.

Tell me more!

So what advice can we give to young people? You're okay! Adolescence is a very confusing time. All young people some-times feel they are not good enough or doubt themselves. Accept yourself! You cannot change the way you were created. Be proud of who you are. If you accept yourself, others will accept you too.

You are special! We are all special in our own right. Each of us has something we are good at.

List 4 things which you are good at.

FriendsYemsrach says her friends tease her and that makes her unhappy. Friends are very important: they are the people we can talk to, play with, learn from and get support from.If you notice your friend is unhappy,talk with that friend, don't tease, but ask your friend what's up.Real friends don't hurt each other.

"A camel does not joke about the hump of another camel."What do you think this proverb means?

Talking! Some of us talk a lot, others are shy and only feel comfortable talking with close friends. Whatever your style, you know everyone likes talking and being listened to. It feels good to be understood. So listen to what others tell you and let your voice be heard too.

There is something else you need to know........

Mood Swings! One day you feel proud, confident and joyful.The next you are full of doubt, fear and loneliness.Do you feel that way too?It's all part of growing upYou are becoming an adult with your own identityYou are not a child anymore, but also not quite an adult. Your parents, teachers and peers may sometimes still treat you as a childbut they also expect you to take more responsibility

You might have some of these questions: Who am I ? Who would I like to become? Does anyone understand me? These are normal questions for young people. Gradually the new you will emerge feeling grown up and stronger. You will come to know yourself better. Remember, the virtue of being young is, being able to take risks and believe in the future!

How are you feeling today ? And why ?Sad, happy, romantic, worried, magic, calm…

Knowing how you feel is called self-awareness. You know they say. "A rich man who does not know himself, is worth less than a poor man who does". However you are feeling today, it is ok!Let's talk about love......

that's too bad Although knowing how you feel is called self-awareness and

that's good. It is normal at your age to feel bad sometimes. If you're still

bothered tomorrow, work out what's causing you trouble and then talk to someone about it. Always share your

troubles with someone you trust. Let's talk about love......

Love What's that? Love means having good feelings for yourself and others.

Love is caring. Love is respecting. Love is enjoying people the way they are. Love is trust. Love is all good things rolled up in a

ball.

But why is love sometimes so confusing ? Like Simneneh who is wondering about not having a girlfriend, or Hiwot, whose boyfriend is pushing her to have sex before she is ready. orBinyam who can't concentrate because he's in love.

About LoveAs you grow up, you will be attracted to others and may develop strong feelings and even sexual feelings for them. Sometimes this is temporary. For example you might like a boy or girl from a distance but when you finally get to talk with them, the feelings vanish. Or maybe you will talk with them a few times, exchange ideas and then one of you decides you are just friends.

About LoveYou might like someone a lot and then find out they already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. This can be disappointing, we think we will never recoverbut somehow we all do.One day each of us will meet someone that's so special, it just clicks, when it feels so right, it is natural to build a loving relationship.

Is that your dream too? To meet someone to have a beautiful and trusting relationship with? Just think about it for a second.

Now that weknow somethingabout Lovewe can give some advice to Simneneh, Hiwot and Binyam.....

Simneneh, do not worry if you are not in love, your time will come.Hiwot, you know love is not sex and anyone who tries to push you into sex, no matter what reasons they give is not being loving.Binyam, Good communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship. If she is not responding to your letters maybe this is not the right girl for you, Keep looking for someone you can communicate better with.

Responsibility !As you get older you are given more responsibility, at school, at home and in the village. You get more freedom to make your own choices as well.For Jemanesh and Feleku, their parents expect more from them these days; Jemanesh is also afraid that her father even wants her to get married already. Here is some advice for them.

Jemanesh, the legal age to get married is 18. Tell your father that you will do your best and want to stay on at school at least grade 12. It takes courage to be assertive. Be polite too.Feleku, as a young person you have a right to play and a responsibility to keep up with your studies as well as to help in the compound. You need to plan your time really well. Explain that you understand that they also need help with the children and schedule for both.

We have talked about:* self-esteem; *self-awareness; *self-respect * friends; * love; * responsibilities.Which of these is the biggest challenge for you? Order this list from hardest challenge to easiest challenge.

Whatever challenges you face, always remember:* accept yourself as you are;* good friends should support you;* no one should push you into sex;* you have responsibilities but rights too.

Some people look good inphotos, some people have a big heart, some peopleget the best marks, somepeople are kind,but we are all unique."Everyone leaves their footprints."

Let's keep talking!