12
Effective Effective Parent Communication Parent Communication : : Exploring basic concepts of Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child at enhancing the parent-child relationship relationship

Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Page 1: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

Effective Effective Parent CommunicationParent Communication::

Exploring basic concepts of Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at effective communication aimed at

enhancing the parent-child enhancing the parent-child relationshiprelationship

Page 2: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 22

The family is the first school in The family is the first school in emotional efficiency…emotional efficiency…

- - Dr Rina De Klerk; Dr R Le Roux Dr Rina De Klerk; Dr R Le Roux emotional intelligence: a practical guide for teachers and parentsemotional intelligence: a practical guide for teachers and parents

a healthy family ethos is thus a healthy family ethos is thus deeply embedded in learning to deeply embedded in learning to recognise the value of emotions recognise the value of emotions

by showing empathy and by showing empathy and listening carefully…listening carefully…

Page 3: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 33

Why Is Effective Communication Why Is Effective Communication Important?Important?

We love our children & want them to grow up happy We love our children & want them to grow up happy healthy & responsiblehealthy & responsible

Our children love us & want our guidance, approval & Our children love us & want our guidance, approval & supportsupport

How, what & when we communicate helps determine How, what & when we communicate helps determine how our children will communicate with othershow our children will communicate with others

Children learn values from our words, our tones, our Children learn values from our words, our tones, our postures – through these we send messages to our postures – through these we send messages to our children about our own beliefs & valueschildren about our own beliefs & values

Our children need sound communication skills in Our children need sound communication skills in order to problem-solve in a positive, healthy & order to problem-solve in a positive, healthy & affirming manneraffirming manner

Page 4: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 44

Healthy parent-child Healthy parent-child communication is communication is

pivotal to the pivotal to the development of a development of a positive sense of positive sense of

self…self…

Page 5: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 55

4 Critical Developmental 4 Critical Developmental Frequencies…Frequencies…

CompetencyCompetency: developing skills, abilities & : developing skills, abilities & strengths to function independently… strengths to function independently…

NormalityNormality: learning to feel comfortable & at ease : learning to feel comfortable & at ease with his/her body, thoughts & feelings…with his/her body, thoughts & feelings…

Self-extensionSelf-extension: learning to contribute to family & : learning to contribute to family & society, developing values such as responsibility, society, developing values such as responsibility, respect (boundaries) & honesty; developing skills of respect (boundaries) & honesty; developing skills of intimacy for healthy relationships…intimacy for healthy relationships…

Self-worthSelf-worth: learning to trust & be trust-worthy; : learning to trust & be trust-worthy; learning to communicate needs, feelings & desires learning to communicate needs, feelings & desires appropriately; learning to listen to, value & appropriately; learning to listen to, value & understand the needs of others… understand the needs of others…

Page 6: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 66

Am I Am I competent?competent?What do I do What do I do

well?well?

Am I normal?Am I normal?Am I like Am I like everyone everyone

else?else?

Am I loving?Am I loving?Am I capable Am I capable

of loving of loving others?others?

Am I lovable?Am I lovable?Am I loved by Am I loved by

others?others?

Page 7: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 77

JudgingJudging RejectingRejecting Blaming/CriticizingBlaming/Criticizing LabelingLabeling TransferringTransferring OrderingOrdering Threatening/BribingThreatening/Bribing WafflingWaffling NaggingNagging ActingActing

ListeningListening PraisingPraising FeelingFeeling RespectingRespecting TrustingTrusting AffirmingAffirming ReflectingReflecting ClarifyingClarifying ActingActing

Road-BlocksRoad-Blocks Building-BlocksBuilding-Blocks

VS.VS.

Page 8: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 88

ACTIVE LISTENINGACTIVE LISTENING

5. 5. SUMMARISINGSUMMARISING1. ENCOURAGING1. ENCOURAGING

4. REFLECTING4. REFLECTING2. FACT 2. FACT FINDINGFINDING

3. RESTATING3. RESTATING

Page 9: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 99

First seek to understandFirst seek to understandand then and then

seek to be understood…seek to be understood…- Anonymous- Anonymous

Page 10: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 1010

The Parent asThe Parent as “Emotional Coach” “Emotional Coach”

1. Become aware of your child’s emotions. Listen empathically, validate feelings. (Want to tell me about it?)

2. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy & teach new skills, accept their feelings as feelings. (Don’t say, “ Of course you don’t hate your teacher! What a terrible thing to say!)

3. Help your child find words to label the emotion he/she is experiencing. (Tell me the name of the feeling)

4. Help your child to talk about & test their perceptions. (Why do you think he doesn’t like you?)

5. Encourage your child not to act on initial feelings, but to allow time to think through the larger picture. (Write down what you want to say, but hang onto to it & see how you feel about it in the morning, parking-lot technique)

6. Set limits to solve the problem at hand – not all behaviour is acceptable. (Time-out, blowing-off, journal-entry etc)

Page 11: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 1111

Emotional Coaching Strategies…Emotional Coaching Strategies…

Avoid criticism/Avoid criticism/humiliationhumiliation

Enable behaviourEnable behaviourthrough choicethrough choice

Praise, praise Praise, praise & praise some & praise some

moremore

All feelings are All feelings are permissible, notpermissible, not

all behaviourall behaviour

Focus on solutionsFocus on solutionsbutbut

don’t impose themdon’t impose them

Invite your childInvite your childto talkto talk

Patience is a Patience is a virtuevirtue

Use the word ‘feel’Use the word ‘feel’more & moremore & more

Page 12: Effective Parent Communication: Exploring basic concepts of effective communication aimed at enhancing the parent-child relationship

SOA_Psychology Dept_2006SOA_Psychology Dept_2006 1212

Always Remember…Always Remember…

Your power base is the emotional Your power base is the emotional bond you share with your child…bond you share with your child…

Talk, listen, encourage intimacy, don’t Talk, listen, encourage intimacy, don’t forget to dream, be patient,forget to dream, be patient,

mind the post-boxmind the post-boxand sometimes… just hug!and sometimes… just hug!