Don’t Kill Your FishMastering Active vs. Passive Voice

Which is the better sentence?Laura feeds the fish. The fish are fed by Laura.

Mmm …

hungry!

Day 1: Active voiceLaura feeds the fish.

The subject acts on the direct object. So simple!

The fish are fed by Laura.While technically the fish are the subject,

Laura’s still doing the feeding. But she’s been exiled to the end of the sentence – as an object of the preposition.

Did Laura get eaten by a shark?

That’s a really bad

question.

Actors and actionIn active voice, the subject and the actor are

the same. Actor in this instance means someone who

takes action and not a movie star.

This jellyfish is a better actor than the entire Twilight cast. Also, it

sparkles.

PracticeFind the actor in these sentences:

Mrs. Levy gets crabby when her students write bad sentences.

In the middle of the night, Bradley awoke to the sound of a woman shouting his name outside his window.

I can’t believe that ball crashed straight through Mr. Singh’s window.

This book is a total waste of dead trees. That battered old junk-heap of a car sputtered and

creaked all the way to the corner and then died.

Day 2: Passive voiceIn passive voice, the subject and the actor are

totally different. The direct object becomes the subject.What should’ve been the subject becomes the

object of the preposition or disappears entirely.

Confused? Sound

s pretty fishy.

Some examplesFind the actor in these sentences:

The minnow was eaten by an eel. The dolphin was chased by an orca

straight around the bay until it was caught and eaten.

There was no way those rowdy teenagers were going to get served dinner at that nice restaurant.

I had my iPhone taken away after my parents saw my report card.

??

Why passive voice is wrongEvery bad sentence

kills an idea. Dead ideas float on their backs and look disgusting and people wonder why you don’t just flush it down the toilet already. R.I.P.

Passive voice is really wrongSeriously, passive voice can make people

avert their eyes if the sentence moves too slowly. Remember the eye moves downward as it reads. Passive sentences can stop the idea’s forward movement, and that means the human eye also slows or stops.

This goes against human instinct, so either readers must force themselves to reread – or their eyes just skip ahead. You’re doomed either way.

I hope you get

my point.

When passive voice is okayNewspapers will use passive voice in headlines and

lead paragraphs (called “ledes”) when people have died.Ten people are believed dead in an early morning

plane crash. Sally Butler was strangled by her own husband.

In these sentences, an editor has made the conscious choice to put the humanity of the victims before the mechanics of what happened to them.

Since no one here plans on dying anytime soon, please use active voice only.

Keep your fishies fedKeep your ideas

alive and happy by keeping them active.

Fish need food, and ideas need a voice – active voice!

Day 3: Spotting passive voice Look for the word “by”, as the actors often

wind up as objects of the preposition: The swimmers were bitten by a shark. The cupcakes were eaten by the children.

Passive voice often abuses the verb “to be”.The pizza wasn’t delivered until after it had

gone cold.I had never been chased by orcas before.

Which is which?Say whether these sentences are active or

passive voice:Drew was hit in the head by a fish. The rainbow was gone by the next day. The jellyfish used its tentacles to stun the

sparkly vampire. Please keep your shoes by the laundry room.

Careful!Other teachers may tell you that the verb “to

be” is a sign of passive voice. This is wrong!Some examples of “be-less” passive voice:

Raj got arrested at the demonstration yesterday.

You got your lunch eaten by someone else.Marietta had her car stolen out of her driveway

last week.The problems with the grammar test went

unnoticed by teachers for weeks.

More cluesAsk yourself “who or what is doing the

action?” If the actor is exiled to a prepositional phrase

or is missing in action, your sentence is in passive voice. Hmm … how

do you rewrite a dead fish?

Day 4: Tense and voicePassive voice can creep into your writing

when you’re unaware of it. Because English has so many strange ways of

conjugating verbs, you need to be careful. Look at every tense and every conjugation to

purge passive voice. Some examples are on the next page.

Identify the tense:Passive Active

Once a week, Tom cleans the fish tank.

Right now, Sarah is baking the flounder.

The shark ate a cat. The boat was sailing the

bay when the storm hit. Nadia has visited the

school before. You will finish your

homework tonight.

Once a week, the fish tank is cleaned by Tom.

Right now, the flounder is being baked by Sarah.

The cat was eaten by a shark.The bay was being sailed by

the boat when the storm hit. The school has been visited

before by Nadia. Your homework will be

finished by you tonight.

Day 5: Quick fixesHere’s how you revive a dead fish:

Start over from scratch. What’s doing the action? There’s your subject. Put your subject where it belongs – in front of

an action verb or verb phrase. Do this every time you spot passive voice in

your writing!

I only look passive. I’m really quite active on

the cellular level.

Unknown actorsHow do you fix a sentence if you don’t know

the actor? My Kindle was confiscated after I snuck it into

class.The fish was served undercooked.

You must first determine the actor before rewriting the sentence. Office 8 confiscated my Kindle after I snuck it

into class. The waiter served the fish undercooked.

Boycott

sushi.

Change these to active voice:Howie’s car was towed by the police for

being double-parked. Mistakes were made by teachers when they

put the grammar test together. The fire was put out before the news media

got there. An interesting book about sentence

transformations was written by a grammarian.

The address was given by the president before Congress.

Punishments and rewardsFrom now on, passive voice will count as a

convention error in your writing. Remember, you’re only allowed three

convention errors in any piece before I begin deducting points.

On the other hand, choosing great action verbs will assure you higher points for word choice.

It will also increase your sentence fluency.

Day 6: More fish

You can admire this lovely sea scene while you take your quiz.