Did you ever stop and Did you ever stop and wonder…wonder…

By By A drunk hasherA drunk hasher

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Who was the first person to look Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes here, and drink whatever comes

out?"out?"

Who was the first person to say, Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that gonna eat the next thing that

comes outta it's bum."comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, the toast to a horrible crisp,

which no decent human being would which no decent human being would eat?eat?

Why is there a light in the Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?drive in the car pool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole coconut, why can't he fix a hole

in a boat?in a boat?

Why do people point to their Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, wrist when asking for the time,

but don't point to their bum when but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does a Obstetrician, Why does a Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wile E. Coyote from the Road If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all Runner had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just that ACME crap, why didn't he just

buy dinner?buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, then what is baby oil vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?made from?

If electricity comes from If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come electrons, does morality come

from morons?from morons?

Is Disney World the only people Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have

the same tune?the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . .Stop singing and read on . . .

Do illiterate people get the full Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, when it's outside the hemisphere,

but call it a hemorrhoid when but call it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?it's on the outside of your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head a car ride, he sticks his head

out the window?out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive more than once make it arrive

faster?faster?

And Finally…And Finally…

Do you ever wonder why you gave Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the me your e-mail address in the

first place?first place?