Contact and family communication in foster care & adoption

Contact and family communication in foster care, kinship care, and adoptionMontserrat Fargas MaletInstitute of Child Care ResearchQueens University Belfast

Longitudinal study following a population of children who were under 5 and in care in Northern Ireland on 31/03/2000 (n=374).Phase 3: Interviews with 75 families (the children and their parents or carers) representing 5 placement types: adoption, foster care, kinship care, residence order, and living with birth parents. Conducted between March 2009-January 2010Quantitative and qualitative instruments were used. Range of issues were explored: attachment, behaviour, education, etc. 2

The Care Pathways and Outcomes Study2In this presentation3 types of placements: foster care, kinship care and adoptionTwo perspectives: the children and their adoptive parents, foster and kinship carersGathered through semi-structured interviews. For the children, used an activity book (The Me Book)Two main issues: contact with birth families; and family communication about birth families/adoptionUse of the concept of ambiguous loss

3Research participants15 foster children and their foster carers;10 children in kinship care and their carers, and one additional kinship carer of two children (12 cases);18 adopted children and their adoptive parents:9 of the children adopted by previous foster carers;9 of the children adopted by planned approved adopters4Types of contact with birth familiesThe majority of children (69%; 31 of 45) had face-to-face contact with at least one birth relative:93% of the foster children (14)75% of the children in kinship care (9)44% of the adopted children (67% / 6 of those adopted by previous carers vs. 22% / 2 of those adopted by strangers) Only 9 had post-box contact (4 in kinship care; 3 adopted & 2 in foster care); and 8 had phone contact (5 in foster care).5Face-to-face contact arrangementsWith one parentWith both parentsWith at least 1 siblingTotalFoster care1021115Kinship care33812Stranger adoption0119Foster adoption2049Total15624456Most children in foster care having contact with parent/s had regular infrequent contact (n=7), while all the children in kinship care that had contact with parent/s had regular frequent contact.Most children in kinship care having contact with sibling/s had regular frequent contact (n=6), while most children adopted by previous carers (n=3) and in foster care (n=5) having contact with sibling/s had regular infrequent contact.Childrens reactions to contactDifferent reactions to contact with different family membersReactions changed with timeSituations had improved by modifying contact arrangements or stopping contactMany were enjoying contactAdverse effects for a fewHaving to deal with familys alcohol abuse or mental health problems.7He didnt understand, and was crying after mammy. But hes grand now. If he sees her, he sees her, and if he doesnt, he doesnt. Hes got to this stage now, that he doesnt care.BOY IN KINSHIP Whereas before they were in a family centre and the kids would be bored, but now that they are doing things together, maybe going bowling or something, wee picnics and things like that to make it a bit more interesting for them.TWO BROTHERS IN FOSTER CARE they would see their mum, very affectionate towards her. As I said, hugs and that so, they seem happy. They are happy to see her, yet during the rest of the week or fortnight its not mentioned.BOY IN FOSTER CAREI like going down and seeing my mum.BOY IN KINSHIP CARE She sees the sisters quite often, and the mother just doesnt show up half the time for visits and When she comes back, shes a little moody and youve got to give her space for a while, you know, because if she goes to a visit and her mother just doesnt show up, shes devastated .GIRL IN FOSTER CARE[I wish] for my mummy and daddy to stop drinking.R: when youre going to contact, would you think about them much?Yeah. I can smell drink off their breath and all and smoke.R: What does that make you feel like?Sad. Well its not sad because I know they have a problem.GIRL IN FOSTER CAREDid not depend on placement type, although less problems reported for adopted children as many did not have face-to-face contactResponded differently to contact with different family membersReactions changed with time, as they grew older and contact arrangements were modified. When younger, according to carers, negative effects: upset, frightened, screaming and crying, etc. Especially for those in foster care (n=6) and kinship care (n=4). Situations had improved by: modifying contact arrangements (e.g. from being in a family centre to being activity-based; 2 cases in foster care); or stopping contact altogether.Many enjoy contact nowStill some adverse effects children having to deal with their familys alcohol abuse or mental health problems.

1ST quote: Child had contact with mum and brothers. According to carer, mum could phone him any time she wanted, but she never did. Child used to be disappointed, but carer thinks that now hes not affected by it, as he is older. Carer considered that the contact with his brother was very positive, as he could tell him that the mother treated all of them as bad, that he was not singled out, and that probably helped him. He had a good relationship with older brother, who would visit him, phone him and send him birthday cards. (57295)2nd quote: In this case, contact arrangements changed for these brothers. They have contact 6 times a year. Better arrangements. It used to affect them, but not anymore.7The concept of ambiguous lossWith birth parentsWith birth sibling/sNo contact but familyContact & familyContact but not familyNo contact but familyContact & familyContact but not familyFoster care4622102Kinship care250271Foster adoption211221Stranger adoption210010Total101336204Physically absent but psychologically presentPsych. present but psych. absentPhysically absent but psychologically presentPsych. present but psych. absent8

I feel sad because I miss them [birth parents]I wish my real mum did care about me and I feel good and glad that Im up here now its better up here and I get into less trouble.R: Can you think of anything that could make your life even better?I have a wee sister and shes seven, and I never see her I seen her whenever she was four.8Effects of contact on parents & carersMost parents and carers happy with their childs contact arrangements.A few kinship carers reported tensions in the relationship with birth parents.A few adoptive parents were not keen on the idea of contact.Some worried about the potential harmful effects that contact could have on the children.Satisfaction with contact arrangements depending on the amount of control parents/carers felt they had9[I found contact] fine, fine. I would have a relationship with [birth mum]. I would know her well. I would chat away to her.BOY IN FOSTER CAREThey ring her [birth mum] every week to see if shes going to come for contact. As far as I am concerned thats not their job. If the mother doesnt want to make contact she should be phoning saying; I cant make it this week.GIRL IN KINSHIP CAREI would prefer that they [birth parents] are not in touch but we had to go by the court I just dont like them being in touch, you know. Theyre not their parents, we are. I did go along with it, but they are the ones that have broken the contact.BOY IN FOSTER ADOPTIONthey [birth siblings] were texting her and she was texting them and [birth sister] was telling her about her boyfriend and all that was going on Oh! I was just reading a text and there was far too much information for Nicoles age, you know.GIRL IN FOSTER CARE he is free to come between the two houses at my discretion. I make the decision. You know, where his mummy, she would ring me up, and say is it okay if Eoghans comes, and thats fine.BOY IN KINSHIP CARE (with granny)Girl in kinship care birth grandparents, who felt the mother, despite their lack of interest, had a lot more help and consideration from Social Services, than them.Boy in foster adoption His adoptive mother was not keen on having contact with his birth family. He used to have monthly face-to-face contact with birth parents, but stopped with adoption. After adoption, letterbox contact, which had recently stopped because birth parents were drinking again. She didnt appear to realise that John still considered them as part of his family.Girl in foster care foster carer worried about childs contact with siblings over mobile phone. She decided to take action regarding this and confiscated childs mobile phone, as she felt she had no control over contact with her older siblings.9Parents/carers attitudes towards sharing information about birth familySome parents/carers claimed they had shared all the information.Some adoptive parents actively concealed some information deemed potentially harmful.Some adoptive parents explained past in an age-appropriate way, often involving masking reality to make it sound less ugly, or emphasising positive aspects.Some parents/carers struggled to talk about these issues, and found it hard to communicate potentially damaging information, e.g. birth parents alcohol abuse, mental health problems, rejection and physical abuse/neglect of child.

10I worry about her because she has it in her head that shes adopted, she wasnt wanted I tried to put it that she was wanted and her mummy just wasnt able to look after her and then how much I wanted somebody and I got her.GIRL IN FOSTER ADOPTIONJust she didnt grow in Mummys tummy, she grew in somebody elses tummy and then we picked her especially. So that is really as far as she understands.GIRL IN STRANGER ADOPTION he knows his birth mum is dead but he doesnt know that she had been murdered, hes too young you know, he doesnt need to know that. BOY IN STRANGER ADOPTIONAttitude: sharing all info (2 stranger adoptive; 3 foster adoptive; 3 foster; and 2 kinship)Attitude: concealing facts (3 stranger and 4 foster adopters)Attitude: depiction reality in a positive light: 5 stranger and 3 foster adopters

10Childrens communicationAccording to parents/carers, most children across the placement did not tend to bring up the subject, BUT Some asked questions or talked about particular issues;Some used to ask questions when they were younger but not anymore; whileOthers never talked or asked questions BECAUSEAlready knew everythingHad forgotten about it; orWere not curious/interested in finding out

11At times, I just say about his sister, and he will ask why did she go to somebody else, and I say that when people are adopted that is sometimes what happens sometimes he would ask about his mum, why did she not come and see him, and I say Well dear, I really cant answer that. Because I really dont know why she didnt do it.BOY IN FOSTER ADOPTIONhe would have asked questions and then we would have gone to his wee life story book. Then there were questions about why he was small and why he his mummy drank and things like that. But he doesnt ask as much now.BOY IN FOSTER ADOPTIONR: He doesnt talk about the Mum and what happened with her? No, no, no. He never talks about that actually. He never talks about why he was taken into care. But I think he knows himself why he was taken into care, he doesnt need to ask the questions. BOY IN FOSTER CAREAsked questions/talked about particular issues: 3 foster adoption; 2 stranger adoption; 4 in foster care; 1 in kinship careAsked questions when younger: 4 foster adoption; 3 stranger adoption; 3 in foster care; 1 in kinship careNever talked/asked questions: 1 foster adoption; 2 stranger adoption; 3 in foster care; 2 in kinship care11ConclusionsChildren had different contact arrangements depending on placement type, with children in foster and kinship care having more contact than adopted childrenDifferences were also found between parents and childrens accountsChildrens reactions to contact improved with timeAlthough most children were happy with the level of contact, some missed their birth families, and a few wished for more contactSome adopted children wished to know more about their birth families/included them as part of their family, although their adoptive parents were not aware of this.Some parents/carers found it difficult to share information with their children1212Contact details: Montserrat Fargas Maletm.fargas@qub.ac.uk+44 (0)28 90971176@MFargas_ICCRwww.qub.ac.uk/cpo

McSherry, Fargas Malet, & Weatherall (2013). Comparing long-term placements for young children in care. The Care Pathways and Outcomes Study Northern Ireland. London: BAAF

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