Conflict Resolution / Mediation

Conflict:the perceived incompatibility of goals, actions, and/or outcomes within a person or between two or more people.

Delinquency and violence are symptoms of a juvenile’s inability

to handle conflict constructively.

Historical context of conflict resolution:

• Evolved in 1950s and 1960s at height of the Cold War

(when the development of nuclearweapons and conflict betweensuperpowers was threatening humanSurvival)

• Small group of scholars from different disciplines came together to study conflict as a general phenomenon (i.e., international relations, domestic politics, industrial relations, communities, families and between individuals).

• Conflict resolution as we know it in the business world came about in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

We typically handle theseconversations by:

•Avoiding them• Facing them and handling

them poorly• Facing them and handling

them well

Conflict…Mediation• A way of resolving disputes between

two or more parties.

• You can use mediation to reach a…

Resolution • A solution to the problem

• A mediator aims to for clear agreement between the participants. A counselor is more concerned with the parties gaining a better self-understanding of their individual behavior.

• A mediator does not explore a person’s feelings in depth. A counselor is concerned about how people feel about a range of relevant experiences.

• A mediator is focused upon how people would like to see things in the future rather than a detailed analysis of past events. A counselor may find it necessary to explore a person’s past.

• A mediator controls the process but does not try to influence the participants or the actual outcome. A counselor often takes an intentional role.

• A mediator relies on both parties being present so they can negotiate, usually face-to-face. A counselor does not need to see both parties at the same time.

• A mediator is required to be neutral. A counselor may play a more supportive role, where appropriate.

• Mediation is a structured process that is usually restricted to one or a few sessions. Counseling tends to be more ongoing.

Differences between mediator and counselor

NJ State Bar Foundation Conflict ResolutionPanel Members:

Barbara DeVictor – Constable School, Kendall Park

Naomi Drew – author/speaker, Lawrenceville

Paula Eisen – Carl Sandburg MS, Old Bridge

Dr. Barbara Nagle – Montclair State University

Herb Olsen – North Brunswick Township HS

NJ State Bar Foundation •Founded in 1958•Free law-related education programs for the public

What the book talks about:

•“I” messages•Active listening•Anger management•Win/win guidelines•Peer mediation.

First Step: Gain the Cooperation of the DisputantsAgreement by both disputants to solve the conflict.Cooling off period.

Second Step: Introduce the Ground Rules1. Treat each other with respect; no blaming or put-downs.2. Attack the problem, not the person.3. Wait for your turn to speak; no interrupting.4. Work together toward a fair solution.5. Tell the truth.

Third Step: Mediating with the Win/Win Guidelines1. Cool Off.2. Each person states their feelings and the problem using “I Messages.”3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.4. Each person says how they are responsible for the problem.5. Brainstorm solutions together and agree on a solution that satisfies both people.6. Affirm, forgive or thank each other.

The Basic Elements of the Mediation Process

Peer Mediation Builds Students' Conflict Resolution Skills Through Real-life Practice•Peer mediation enables students to develop their conflict resolution skills where it matters most: on real-life conflicts. •Mediating real conflicts at school also encourages the transfer of the skills to life outside of school. •Being a mediator helps students approach conflict in their own lives and in their communities with new perspective and skill. •Comments like: "My husband and I can't argue without Glenda coming in to help us resolve it," or "What have you done to my son? He listens to me now!" are not uncommon from parents of mediators.

Peer Mediation Motivates Students to Resolve their Conflicts Collaboratively•Peer mediation motivates students to talk things out rather than fight things out.•Programs accomplish this in a number of ways. • Outreach efforts convey that mediation is the students' process. They are in control,

the proceedings are confidential, and there is much to gain and little to lose.• Students learn from friends who are mediators or who have been parties that

mediation works. Teachers guide students towards peer mediation as an alternative to settlement.

• Eventually, a significant percentage of mediation sessions are initiated by students themselves

Peer Mediation

The high school I attended had peer mediation as one of its many programs. It was a complete flop at my school! It was a joke among students whenever a fight or argument broke out. "Uh-oh! Better take that to peer mediation!" No one utilized the program because of the shame involved in having to get one of your own peers to help you work out your problems. --Elizabeth Giger

In the elementary school where I taught we too had peer mediation. It seemed to work with the elementary students because usually their problems were somewhat minor. We only had a few fifth and sixth graders who were trained and who would handle the problems. One thing I think that it did was get the students who were having problems to sit down with each other and at least listen. Usually it would work out because they had misinterpreted the problem to begin with. --S.Morrisette

“For additional information about all of the Foundation’s law-related education programs and resources for students and teachers, visit us online at www.njsbf.org. You may also write to the New Jersey State Bar Foundation at the New Jersey Law Center, One Constitution Square, New Brunswick, New Jersey 08901-1520 or call 1-800 FREE LAW.”

http://www.njsbf.org/images/content/1/1/11155/CR%20Elementary%20Volume%20II.pdf NJ State Bar Foundationhttp://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles/fs-9755.pdf