CONFLICT MGT

EMPOWERING YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE

• Turning conflict into progress

• Avoiding negative conflict

• Neutralizing negative conflict

PRO SUCCESS TOOLS• The fact-feeling

dialectic• Converting hot

conflict to cold • Thesis-antithesis-

synthesis change• Fact-feeling dialectic

Conflict: comes from human selfishness & requires

unselfish human solutions

CONFLICT ARE U.S.1. Corporate downsizing, temp

employee, & outsourcing practices

2. BU vs. the independent alumni association

3. Revolt of the 5 “power” conferences against the NCAA

4. Twitter fights5. Lawyers in suits

HOT vs. COOL CONFLICT

COOLcon = INTELLECTUAL point of view: info-facts, thoughts, reasoning, friendly debate, the future

HOTcon = personalities, emotions, agendas, feuds, grudges, insults, the past

COOL POTENTIAL CONFLICT• New policy that employees

have to pay $50 monthly to continue parking in the company’s parking tower.

• Revising the Human Resources performance evaluation review process & rating form

• Explaining a disputed bill to a complaining customer

HOT POTENTIAL CONFLICT• Two dept. managers compete

to hire the same employee• A political candidate runs a

personal smear campaign against his opponent for office

• A project manager in a large govt. contracting firm appoints his friends for the highest level jobs

GENDER BENDER• In general, males seek to resolve conflict via competition: win vs. lose•Females prefer cooperation: win-win

The toughest challenge of conflict management is accurately defining the type of conflict at hand—a non-exact requiring 360 feedback from others.

The #1 goal of conflict containment is to convert hot

conflict into cool.

• Focus feuding employees on tomorrow instead of the past & on the mission > personal agendas

• Get more feedback than usual from employees in an on-going change-zone of an org

• Stay alert for potential interpersonal conflicts generated by unpopular or controversial employees: aggressive career-builders; office “politicians”; “alpha-dog” supervisors, etc.

Conflict strategy must be based on unique

situational circumstances:

Reading & implementing conflict causes & remedies is a judgment call proposition. No guarantees. Preventing fires is easier than putting them out.

CONFLICT JUDGMENT-CALLS• Was unusually low employee

participation in the company United Way campaign program a sign of low morale?

• When you hear that one of your best employees is looking for another job, does that mean they are unhappy with their current job, or with you as their boss?

• Should you follow-up on gossip that your boss is displeased with your work?

GENERIC CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES (AACCC)

1. Accommodating →2. Avoiding →3. Collaborating →4. Competing →5. Compromising →

1. Use when you can’t win2. Use to buy time to fight

another day3. Use when neither party can

win without cooperation4. Use when unpopular action

(win-lose) is the only alternative

5. Use when each side has equal power

Can’t win: ACCOMODATION

•Taming NFL football•Augusta (Masters Tournament) country club admission of women members

Create time to power up: AVOIDANCE

•U.S. involvement in Middle East religious conflicts•US Postal Service & Social Security huge operations deficits

Can’t win without cooperating: COLLABORATION

•Mandatory immunizations for measles control vs. citizen rights•Bill collection agencies negotiating with debtors

Win-lose conflict: COMPETITION

•Cars & feed lots vs. global warming•National Rifle Association/open carry vs. gun control

Equal power on each side: COMPROMISE

• Big 12 schools feud over whether or not to create an end-of-season football championship to stay on par with the other “power-5” conferences• Marijuana producers & federal

regulators engage in give & take on approaches for legalizing the drug.

The TAS technique of innovative conflict

resolution is…

… achieving cooperation by synthesizing the win-lose dichotomy of thesis (one point of view) & antithesis (a second, conflicting, POV) into a win-win synthesis of a creative & agreeable third position.

Thesis: Employee pay raise (stable paycheck mindset)Antithesis: Pay cut (stable paycheck mindset)Synthesis: Commission or bonus pay (variable paycheck mindset)Thesis: 8:00 a.m. classAntithesis: Evening classSynthesis: Online class

Thesis: Construct a new office buildingAntithesis: Stay in the old buildingSynthesis 1: Renovate the old buildingSynthesis 2: Keep the old building as unit A and buy/renovate adjacent building as complementary unit B

Thesis: Status quo (no operating changes) for the NCAAAntithesis: Reform the NCAASynthesis 1: Let the 5 “power conferences” regulate themselvesSynthesis 2: Make college football, basketball, & baseball “minor league” pro teams

The FACT-FEELING DIALECTIC of psychological

conflict resolution

Conflict issues won’t be resolved if they short-

circuit full human wiring (intellect + emotions)

Matadors use the cape to protect themselves from the bull, who thinks the

cape is part of the matador.

The F-F dialectic is a simple strategy for neutralizing (a la the matador’s cape) or “killing” interpersonal conflict (the bull) through facilitating a dialogue that alternates between sharing facts (cool conflict objective information) and feelings (hot conflict subjective emotions).factsFEELINGSfactsFEELINGS

Entrees & Primers• What do you know

about…” (fact)• “How does that make you

feel?” (feeling)• “What do you think we

should do?” (fact)• “What’s your take on what

Steve just said?” (feeling)

THE CONFLICT MANAGER• Help employees realize that

feelings usually change over time.

• Delay decision-making until emotions have settled down.

• Strive to generate good feelings about HOW decisions are made (anticipatively).