Common Errors in Writing

Goals: Conciseness, Correctness,

Coherence & Concreteness

2001/11/9

Outline

General Principles

Correctness: Word choice and usage ;

Conciseness: avoid redundancy, (non-rhetorical) repetition, wordiness

Coherence: transition

Concreteness

Writing: general principles

have a central idea and proper

transitions

avoid repetition – except in cases of parallelism.

be concise

Errors 1: Word Choice and Usage

Besides/beside, besides/except for;

few/a few; arise/arouse; be used to/used to;

in nowadays society; the woman body images;

Tropical Fish refers to some contemporary social concerns in Taiwan

by means of exaggerate, ironic expression.

presents

by means of some exaggerated and ironic expressions.in an exaggerated and ironic way. exaggeratedly and ironically.

Errors 1: Word Choice and Usage

Besides/beside, besides/except for;

few/a few; arise/arouse; be used to/used to;

e.g. After few minutes, I saw my yearning Hyde Park. Article: Play the/a guitarI do understand what my American dream is; that is, visiting the(or “a”?) new land, and enjoying being a stranger

Errors 1: Word Choice and Conciseness

They must be thinking that why would we come here in such a huge rain without any protection. Except for busy ordering things to eat, the first move of each of us when entering the restaurant was to grab a tissue to dry ourselves. They must be wondering why we would come

here in such a huge rain without any protection. However, we had no time to worry about their curious expressions. Besides busy ordering things to eat, we all quickly grabbed a tissue to dry ourselves.

Errors 2: So—has to be followed by “that” in writing (ok for speaking)

Since this was my first time to be in Canada, I was so excited and eager to see the place.

very

Visiting Canada for the first time, I was very excited on the plane, flipping through some travel guides to make numerous plans.

Errors 2: So—2

The flood soon covered my legs . And it was so difficult for me to walk home under this kind of circumstances.

very

 The flood soon covered my legs and made it very difficult for me to walk.

Errors 3: Comparison Compare objects of similar nature

Walking along the city, I was surprised at its highly progress of building. The city’s sights were similar as any other international city in building so that I felt as if I walked in Taipei. Its building were as high as what we can wee in Taiwan; its department stores were selling fashion clothes with internationally noted brand names on.

Walking in the city, I was surprised to find its cityscape similar to that of any other international city. Its buildings were as high as those in Taipei, its department stores selling fashionable clothes with internationally noted brand names on.

Errors 3: Syntax

Once there were commercial break, I swore myself never let go any chance to glance all those stars about how they walked, talked, and dressed.

Once /Whenever there was a commercial break, I swore to myself, I’d never let go of any chance to glance at (or--look closely at) all those stars, at how they walked, talked, and were dressed.

Errors 4: Syntax 2

Following were Destiny’s child, Alicia Keith, N’sync, Janet, and lots of amazing stars, who took turn stunning my eyes.

{following: noun, prep, adj. }1. What followed were. . . ; Following the speech, there were several performances by . . . 2. Added to these were the performances of Destiny’s Child, Alicia Keith, N’sync, Janet, and lots of amazing stars, who took turns to stun my eyes.

Errors 4: Syntax 3 –awk S

What’s more, after we finished our shopping in the department store, walking in the street, we saw yellow plastic clothes with the words Pearl Milk Tea from Taiwan.

After we finished our shopping in the department stores, we walked on the street and saw a yellow plastic cloth(sign?) with the words Pearl Milk Tea from Taiwan on it.

Errors 4: Syntax 4 –Two verbs

The candle and moonlight were the only light source we had, made us lazy to do anything.

The candle and moonlight, the only sources of light we had, made us feel lazy and spiritless.

Apposite

Errors 4: Syntax 5 –Overuse of “to”

And perhaps they would say it’s wasted to stay in one place for a long time to miss the other famous spots to have a overall look at London.

And perhaps they would say that it’s a waste of time to stay in one place for a long time, instead of visiting many famous spots to have a overall view of London.

Errors 4: Syntax 5 –awk; Overuse of explanatory phrases (articles)

Maybe there’s some distance between the boat and the mountains surrounding the lake, the mountains seemed so dreamy due to the mist covering the mountains side facing the lake. Moreover, on the surface of the lake, lotuses in season showed their best for us—petals stretching to their extent, which added glory to West Lake. Thanks to morning sunlight, West Lake shone its reflection of light on its surface, ^ too shining to open my eyes.

Around the lake, the distant mountains, shrouded in mist, seemed dreamy and spiritual. On the lake, the lotuses in season—with petals stretching in all directions and to their fullest extent--added glory to West Lake. To further exhibit its glory, West Lake glittered under the morning sun and dazzled my eyes.

Errors 4: Syntax 6 –dangling modifier

Raising my head, my vision was just full of the luxuriantly green leaves.

Raising my head, I found my vision filled with the luxuriantly green leaves.

Conciseness 1: Redundancy

I think the reason why she does that is because of her children.

I think she does that because of her children. She does it for her children.

Conciseness 2: Repetition

Then all of my friends went back to their room to go to bed. I went to bed right after my friends went back, cause I really got tired for keep laughing.

Then all of my friends went back to their room to sleep. Exhausted by our joking and laughing, I, too, went to bed right after they left.

Conciseness 3: Wordiness (and Tense)

This summer vacation my friends, Linda and Wendy, and I plan to drive to Nantou and visit some famous scenery because we have to go to school in usual time and have no extra time to travel around those beautiful scenes.

This summer vacation my friends, Linda, Wendy, and I drove to Nantou and visited some famous places there, which was something we could not do during the semester.

Conciseness+ Correctness: Wordiness+ Syntax

I could still remember that during that morning, everyone was so tired and we kept on complaining about the trip being so tight without letting us to take a break.

At first, we were all very tired, complaining that the trip’s schedule was too tight for us to take a break.

Coherence 1: Transition

We all felt happy and confused at the same time. Happy because of the extra holiday we will have, confuse because we didn’t know when we would have the light and water back again.

I with four of my friends decided to stay in my room because my other roommates hadn’t moved in the dorm.

.

botheredWe all felt happy and bothered at the same time. Happy because of the extra holiday we would have, bothered because we didn’t know when we would have the electricity and water back again.

Still, we decided to have some fun. Four of my friends came to stay in my room with me because my roommates hadn’t moved in yet.

Coherence 1: Transition 2

The trip went smoothly and on the third day of our trip, we flew to Calgary and rented a car driving to Banff and Lake Louise.

Style 1: awk; dominant impression

My memory stored a lot of first-time experiences that happened in the summer of 1998, among which was the realization of my dream of going abroad. (Gap) Bournemouth, a city in the south of England, was the first city that came to my mind rather than well-known London when people mentioned England because this city was where my dream landed. (Gap)

Style 1: awk; dominant impression 2The houses there were all with red roof and red brick walls but with no iron bars on the windows. You would not feel surprised to see each house have a lively garden or a backyard with swing for children. It was hard to find food stands on the street when you were hungry, but you definitely could find cool and tasty ice cream with chocolate bar on it at the beach. (Gap) However, what made the city unforgettable was not the city itself, but an interlude left an indelible impression on me in this foreign country.

Style 1: awk; dominant impression 2 -suggestion

When people mentioned England, Bournemouth, a city in the south of England, was the first city that came to my mind rather than well-known London, because this city was where my dream of going abroad landed. Even now the images of the city are still vivid in my mind: the houses with a red roof and red brick walls, with lively garden in the front or open backyard with a swing for children.

Style 1: awk; dominant impression 2 -suggestionNo iron railings in front of the houses or windows, nor food stands vendors yelling to their customers on the street. Instead, a few minutes’ walk takes you to an expansive beach with sunlight, cool breezes, green ocean, and cool and tasty ice cream with chocolate bar on it. What made the picturesque and quiet city most unforgettable to me, however, was not the city itself, but an interlude I had with a foreign friend in this foreign country.