Chuck Norris Facebook Status Updates

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    10-Apr-2015

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A collection of Facebook status updates from Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris Facebook Status UpdatesBy John Bluff www.johnbluff.com Like many other people who value their lives, I like to know what Chuck Norris is doing at all times so I can stay clear of him. Fortunately, ever since he created the universe, Chuck Mr. Norris has been posting his status on Facebook, giving us innocent civilians a clue to his whereabouts and a decent chance to escape. Here is a selection of his updates. Chuck Norris is right behind you.Now Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is accepting the nations first Medal of Honor for manslaughter.July 3, 2007 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is vacationing along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.December 31, 2005 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is joining a gang to find safety in numbers. The gang is Chuck Norris and his fists. February 9, 1995 Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is making a Chuck Norris-sized leap for Chuck Norris-kind.July 20, 1969 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is using the word irregardless correctly.March 1, 1965 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is achieving nuclear fusion by smashing atoms together with his fists. July 16, 1945 Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is accepting Germanys unconditional surrender.May 8, 1945 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is hurling Chuck Yeager through the sound barrier.October 14, 1947 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is demonstrating to Gandhi the flaw in the concept of nonviolent resistance. April 22, 1935 Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is convincing the League of Nations to recognize the space around him as a sovereign state. August 1, 1924 Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is endowing us with certain inalienable rights.July 4, 1776 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is winning support for his Chuck Norris-centric theory of the universe. April 1, 1616 Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is circumnavigating the globe. Waithes done.September 6, 1522 Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is explaining his theorem to Pythagoras.2,570 years ago Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is putting the many heads of Hydra in a headlock.2,610 years ago Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is teaching language to early humans. Their first word is roundhouse kick. 20,000 years ago Chuck Norris says you have no comment. Chuck Norris is ending the reign of dinosaurs.65 million years ago Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is showing Jedi knights how pathetic the Force is.A long time ago Chuck Norris says you have no comment.

Chuck Norris is creating the universe.Image courtesy of Flickr / Brent Nelson.

The dawn of time Chuck Norris says you have no comment.