Chinese New Year Survival Kit

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    15-Feb-2016

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A sarcastic take on the much celebrated Chinese New Year in Singapore, but yet still very much close to heart!

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<ul><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 1 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CHINESENEW YEARSURVIVALKIT</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 2 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>A publicationby</p><p>Tan Norman</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 3 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>Editors Note</p><p>Its the time of the year again, some of us enjoy it so much, we cannot wait to bask in the atmosphere, we travel all the way down to Chinatown amidst the sweaty and pushy crowd for the pre-CNY (Chinese New Year) shopping (page 14). Some of us loathe it so much; we just want to get done with the mandatory visits to relatives whom we need to wreck our brains to even know how to address them each year (page 30). And dont get started on the awkward conversations you cant wait to get out off (page 32)! </p><p>Fear not, this publication is on your side. I, too, understand the pains and gains of Chinese New Year. In fact, having lived in the heart of Chinatown since birth, I have witnessed and experienced countless Chinese New Years, from the prepara-tory, to the actual event and the post, hence this publication. CNY comes and goes, and you have to survive it through. Regardless of your take on the festival, there are plentiful of insights and customs this publication will aid you in surviving CNY with your well being at heart. Take this survival kit with a pinch of salt or none at all, but all in all, this (CNY) calls for a celebration for sure!</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 4 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>contentThe Chinese Zodiac</p><p>04</p><p>Prayers13</p><p>Eat Your Heart Out!16</p><p>Things to Prepare23</p><p>Dos and Donts28</p><p>Poker Face35</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 5 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 6 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 7 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 8 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 9 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p> the chinese zodiac</p><p>Before we even begin on the CNY customs and survival skills, it is important to know the basis of things. For CNY, the Chinese Zodiac </p><p>cycle plays a particularly important role in regulating the cycle yearly. Just like how the westerns have the zodiac rotation monthly, the </p><p>Chinese Zodiac completes a cycle every 12 years, meaning each zodiac are entitled to a year before the next zodiac has its turn. And the best </p><p>part? Your birthdate and year are tied in closely! </p><p>04</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 10 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>mine is betterthan yours!</p><p>Wondering why your annoying sibling cannot get off your back? Or why you and your close friend can talk about basically everything without ever getting sick? We will get to that on your Chinese Zodiac Compatibility, but before we get there, continue for a thick-skinned short self introductory proclaim by each Zodiac, just like how you would boast about yours being more superior. Have a laugh or two!</p><p>05</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 11 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>I am a self-proclaimed inquisitor. I am a link yet I function as a complete unit. I aim at encompassing heights and strike my target, sure and steady. Life is one joyous journey for me. Each search must end with a new quest. I am progress, exploration and insight. I am the womb of ginormous activity.</p><p>ratMine is a stabilizing force that </p><p>perpetuates the cycle of life. I stand immobile against the test of adversity, resolute and unimpeachable. I seek to serve integrity, to the burdens of righteousness. I abide by the laws of nature patiently pushing the wheel of Fate. Thus, I shall weave my own destiny.</p><p>ox</p><p>I am a delightful paradox. The entire world is my stage. I set new trails ablaze; I seek the unattainable, and try the untried. I dance to life's music in gay abandon. Come with me on my carousel rides. See the myriad of colors, the flickering lights. All hail the unparalleled performer, me.</p><p>tigerI am in tune with the pulse of the </p><p>universe. In my quiet solitude I hear the melodies of the soul. I float above commonplace dissent and decay. I am subdued by my ability to conform. I color my world in delicate pastel hues. I epitomize harmony and inner peace..</p><p>rabbit</p><p>06</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 12 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>I am an unquenchable fire, the center of all energy, the stout heroic heart. I am truth and light, I hold power and glory in my sway. My presence disperses dark clouds. I have been chosen to tame the Fates.</p><p>dragonMine is the wisdom of the </p><p>ages. I hold the key to the mysteries of life. Casting my seeds on fertile ground, I nurture them with constancy and purpose. My sights are fixed. My gaze remains unchanged. Unyielding, inexorable and deep, I advance with steady gait, the solid earth beneath me.</p><p>snake</p><p>I am the Kaleidoscope of the mind. I impart light, color and perpetual motion. I think, I see, I am moved by electric fluidity. Constant only in my inconstancy, I am unshackled by mundane holds, unchecked by sturdy, binding goals. I run unimpeded through virgin paths. My spirit unconquered, my soul forever free now.</p><p>horseI am nature's special child. I trust </p><p>and am rewarded by trust. Fortune smiles upon my countenance. All things blossom in the gentleness of my love. I strive to find beauty in all I behold. I am fair of face and full of grace and elegance.</p><p>goat</p><p>07</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 13 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>I am the seasoned traveler of the Labyrinth. The genius of alacrity, wizard of the impossible. My brilliance is yet unmatched in its originality. My heart's filled with potent magic that could cast a hundred spells. I am put together for mine own pleasure.</p><p>monkeyI am on hand to herald in the </p><p>day, and to announce its exit. I thrive by clockwork and precision. In my unending quest for perfection all things will be restored to their rightful place. I am the exacting taskmaster, the ever-watchful administrator. I seek perfect order in my world. I represent unfailing dedication.</p><p>rooster</p><p>The martial strains have summoned me to hear your sorrows, still your pain. I am the protector of Justice. Equality, my sole friend. My vision is never blurred by cowardice, my soul never chained. Life without honor is life in vain.</p><p>dogOf all God's children I have the purest heart. With innocence and faith, I walk in Love's protective light. By giving of myself freely I am richer and twice blest. Bonded to all mankind by common fellowship, my goodwill is universal and knows no bounds.</p><p>pig</p><p>08</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 14 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>how to checkyour zodiac</p><p>compatibility</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 15 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>sign best match worst match</p><p>rat dragon, monkey, ox horse, rabbit, rooster, goatox rat, snake, rooster horse, goat, dog</p><p>tiger horse, dog, rabbit snake, monkey</p><p>rabbit goat, dog, pig rat, rooster</p><p>dragon rat, monkey, snake dog</p><p>snake ox, rooster, dragon tiger, pig</p><p>horse tiger, goat, dog rat, ox</p><p>goat rabbit, horse, pig rat, ox</p><p>monkey rat, dragon, rooster tiger</p><p>dog tiger, horse, pig ox, dragon</p><p>pig goat, rabbit, dog snake</p><p>rooster ox, snake, monkey, dragon rabbit, rat</p><p>10</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 16 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 17 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 18 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>13</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 19 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>the god of prosperity</p><p>It is a belief that before New Years Eve,the God of Prosperity will return to Heaven to report about how the family </p><p>was doing. During the first fifteen days of Chinese New Year, the God of Prosperity will return to Earth one day to continue bringing more fortune to the family.</p><p>However, for the God of Prosperity to return, incense paper and offerings have to be made by the family to invite him to bestow his fortune upon them. The auspicious timing and day to do so differs every year. It is said that a portrait of the God of Prosperity should be pasted in the house to invite him back, and the work should never be facing the main gate of the house. This is because it symbolizes the God of Prosperity pouring his fortune meant for the family out of the house.</p><p>So get prepared and HUAT AH!*</p><p>*HUAT AH refers to To Prosper.</p><p>14</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 20 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>THE jadeemperor</p><p>THE jadeemperor</p><p>THE jadeemperor</p><p>THE jadeemperor</p><p>15</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 21 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>The Jade Emperor is known by many names, including Heavenly Grandfather, which is used by commoners; the Pure August Jade Emperor, August Personage of Jade, the Xuanling High Sovereign; and his rarely used, formal title, Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign. Phew!</p><p>The Jade Emperors birthday falls on the ninth day of Chinese New Year. It is also touted as an event grander than the first day of Chinese New Year itself. On this day, offerings are made to thank the Jade Emperor for the past year, and a series of offerings including an assortment of food and fruits, to joss sticks and incense paper are prepared. This is regarded as part of a tradition for CNY. Burning of the offerings usually take place past midnight during the auspicious hour. The night breeze, along with your other neighbors doing the same thing actually makes you feel as though it is therapeutic. </p><p>The Jade Emperor is known by many names, including Heavenly Grandfather, which is used by commoners; the Pure August Jade Emperor, August Personage of Jade, the Xuanling High Sovereign; and his rarely used, formal title, Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign. Phew!</p><p>The Jade Emperors birthday falls on the ninth day of Chinese New Year. It is also touted as an event grander than the first day of Chinese New Year itself. On this day, offerings are made to thank the Jade Emperor for the past year, and a series of offerings including an assortment of food and fruits, to joss sticks and incense paper are prepared. This is regarded as part of a tradition for CNY. Burning of the offerings usually take place past midnight during the auspicious hour. The night breeze, along with your other neighbors doing the same thing actually makes you feel as though it is therapeutic. </p><p>The Jade Emperor is known by many names, including Heavenly Grandfather, which is used by commoners; the Pure August Jade Emperor, August Personage of Jade, the Xuanling High Sovereign; and his rarely used, formal title, Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign. Phew!</p><p>The Jade Emperors birthday falls on the ninth day of Chinese New Year. It is also touted as an event grander than the first day of Chinese New Year itself. On this day, offerings are made to thank the Jade Emperor for the past year, and a series of offerings including an assortment of food and fruits, to joss sticks and incense paper are prepared. This is regarded as part of a tradition for CNY. Burning of the offerings usually take place past midnight during the auspicious hour. The night breeze, along with your other neighbors doing the same thing actually makes you feel as though it is therapeutic. </p><p>The Jade Emperor is known by many names, including Heavenly Grandfather, which is used by commoners; the Pure August Jade Emperor, August Personage of Jade, the Xuanling High Sovereign; and his rarely used, formal title, Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign. Phew!</p><p>The Jade Emperors birthday falls on the ninth day of Chinese New Year. It is also touted as an event grander than the first day of Chinese New Year itself. On this day, offerings are made to thank the Jade Emperor for the past year, and a series of offerings including an assortment of food and fruits, to joss sticks and incense paper are prepared. This is regarded as part of a tradition for CNY. Burning of the offerings usually take place past midnight during the auspicious hour. The night breeze, along with your other neighbors doing the same thing actually makes you feel as though it is therapeutic. </p><p>16</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 22 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 23 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 24 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>EAT YOUR HEART OUT!Yes the food is amazing and yes they actually mean something! </p><p>Before you appear gullible in front of your relatives, here is a simple trivia on some of the snacks commonly eaten during CNY! Have an interesting read!</p><p>Prawn Rolls:Prawns are also known as xia in madarin,and hence they symbolize liveliness,and an active new year!</p><p>Pineapple Tarts:Pineapple tarts represent wealth, luck, excellent fortune, gambling luck!Huat ah!</p><p>Love Letters:They are quite literal to their name! Another CNY alltime favorite! </p><p>19</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 25 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>Bak Kwa:In Cantonese, Bak Kwa symbolizes arobust fortune, and has become aCNY favorite. And jacked up pricesespecially during CNY season.</p><p>Cashew Nuts:Gold, money (the nut's shape symbolises the gold bar of ancient times).</p><p>Melon Seeds:Family unity, the melon, also candied, symbolizes growth, and good health.</p><p>Kueh Bangkit:Gold, money (the nut's shape symbolises the gold bar of ancient times).</p><p>Mandarin Oranges:Ah, the most symbolic fruit ofCNY! They represent wealth,good fortune and gold.</p><p>20</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 26 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>knowyour</p><p>calories!21</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 27 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>food (100 grams) calories (kcal)</p><p>roasted cashew nuts 611</p><p>prawn rolls 506</p><p>kueh lapis 490</p><p>bak kwa 410</p><p>love letters 430.8</p><p>white rabbit candy 412.5</p><p>pineapple tart 410</p><p>kueh bangkit 383.3</p><p>kueh baulu 377.8</p><p>melon seeds 258</p><p>22</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 28 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 29 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CH</p><p>INES</p><p>E N</p><p>EW Y</p><p>EAR</p><p>DOS</p><p> AND</p><p> DON</p><p>TS</p><p>CH</p><p>INES</p><p>E N</p><p>EW Y</p><p>EAR</p><p>DOS</p><p> AND</p><p> DON</p><p>TS</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 30 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>CM</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>CMY</p><p>K</p><p>print2.pdf 31 24/1/13 12:17 AM</p></li><li><p>newIt is a definite must for everyone to purchase new clothes prior to CNY!</p><p>Not only because it is a tradition to renew your wardrobe and to startoff the new year in a fresh start, but also to kickstart your new yearfeeling amazing in your new clothings! Perfect excuse to go shopping!</p><p>On top of that, it is essential to Spring Clean your rooms prior to thefestive season. The spring cleaning process is as dreadful as it sounds,requiring you to not only clean your homes, but also your wardrobesand other minute things you have always wanted to keep despite howuseless they are, because you just want them.</p><p>Apart from your physical belongings, it is also essential to keep yourown wellbeing, well, well. Quite often than not, people tend to fall sick during the CNY period. A gentle reminder to feast on the amazingfood yes, but also dont be stingy on yourself in terms of the fluids!</p><p>2626</p><p>C</p><p>M</p><p>Y</p><p>CM</p><p>MY</p><p>CY</p><p>C...</p></li></ul>

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