Chapter 7Marriage Relationships

Individual Motivations for Marriage

People get married for a variety of reasons.• Love

– Is this a mandatory requisite in the U.S?

• Personal fulfillment– What the heck?

• Companionship– Obviously… think about lonely nights….

• Parenthood– Can’t you raise children alone?

• Economic security – Do we do this consciously?

Societal Functions of Marriage

Important functions of marriage:• Binds couple together who will reproduce• Provides physical care for dependent young• Socializes children into society• Regulates sexual behavior• Provides companionship

Marriage as Commitment

Commitment: the intent to maintain a relationship

• Marriage is a person-to-person commitment.• Marriage is a family-to-family commitment.• Marriage is a couple-to-state commitment.

Social policy directs marriage, divorce, and child support.

Marriage as a Rite of Passage

• Rite of passage: an event that marks the transition from one status to another.

• Families cooperate to produce the wedding.

• Brides often wear traditional artifacts—concrete symbols that reflect a phenomenon).

Changes After Marriage

• While laws vary by state, partners typically become part owner of the other’s income and assets.

• New spouses often develop increased self-confidence and adopt new values and behaviors.

• Marriage affects relationships with friends.

Changes After Marriage

• The couple’s relationship often changes to disenchantment—transition from a state of newness and high expectation to a state of the mundane tempered by reality.

• Partners shift their focus from each other to work or children.

Changes After Marriage

Couples also experience (Pg. 137):• Loss of freedom• More responsibility• Less alone time• Changes in how money is spent• Discovering that one’s mate is different from one’s

date• Sexual changes• Power changes

Changes After Marriage

• Marriage affects relationships with parents.• Only a minority of spouses report that they do

not get along with their in-laws.• Time spent with extended family rapidly

increases after children are born.

Changes After Marriage

• Marriage involves the need for spouses to discuss and negotiate how they are going to get and spend money.

• Debt tends to strain relationships.

Diversity in Marriage

May-December marriage: age-discrepant marriage.

• Typically the man is older than the woman.

• Research finds no difference in reported marital satisfaction between age-discrepant and age-similar marriages.

• Such marriages tend to benefit men more than women.

DiversityInterracial marriages• About 15% of all marriages in the U.S. are

racially mixed.• Interracial partners sometimes experience

negative reactions.– Do the self assessment

• Interracial marriages are more likely to dissolve.

Diversity

Interreligious Marriages• Over one third of marriages in the U.S. are

interreligious. • The impact of a mixed religious marriage may

depend on the devoutness of the spouses.• Those who are religious tend to be more

satisfied with their marriages.

Diversity

Cross-national marriages• Cross-national marriages are becoming more

common.• Much of the stress of these marriages is

related to society’s intolerance of cross-national marriages.

DiversityMilitary marriages• About 60% of U.S. military personnel are married and/or

have children.• Military contract marriage: marriage in which a military

person and a civilian participate to get more money and benefits from the government

• Military marriages are particularly difficult for women.

Diversity

Challenges for military marriages:• Traditional gender roles are challenged.• Loss of control over deployment• Infidelity: length of separation increases the

chances of infidelity• Frequent moves and separations• Lower marital satisfaction and higher divorce rates• Employment problems

Marital Success

Characteristics of couples in happy, stable relationships

• Personal and emotional commitment• Common interests/positive self-concepts• Good communication/effective use of humor• Religiosity• Trust• Not materialistic

Marital Success

Characteristics of couples in happy, stable marriages

• Positive role models in their parents• Sexual desire• Equitable relationships• Absence of negative attributions• Forgiveness• Health

Marital Success

• The Healthy Marriage Initiative is a program of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

• Research confirmed the positive effects of education and support for marriages and families.