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DAN SOUTHERLAND

Christ Fol lower, Husband, Dad, Grandfather,

Church Planter, Pastor,

Life Long Learner, Trouble Maker

Shawnee, Kansas

Dan is a Christ Follower – trying to learn what it means to obey and honor Christ.

He is a committed family man – adoring his wife Mary, his two kids, his two kids-in-law,

and his six grandkids – whom he calls his “chickens.”

Dan loves church planters. Dan loves pastors who are trying to lead change.

Dan is one of the pastors at Restore Community Church in Kansas City.

Most of all – Dan is a lifelong learner who is just now beginning to understand what it means to be a child of the living God who has access to heaven 24-7 through prayer.

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CHAIR TIME

A simple, life-changing way to pray By Dan Southerland

Intro: Everyone prays

My Chair Time Story

The Start

The Premise

The Assignment

The First Month

Learnings that Help Me Hear from God

Learning to Spin Off

The Switch

The Shift

Other Lessons Learned

Two Questions

Wow/How/Now

Chair Time Flow

Chair Time 2.0

Mobile Chair time

Chair time for others

God has more

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Introduction:

Everyone prays.

Everyone prays when in times of crisis. When the house is on fire, the kids are driving you nuts, the job is in jeopardy, the health challenge is serious, the finances are failing – it is amazing how even the ungodly will turn their attention heavenward and pray. As a pastor, I have friends who claim to be non-believers who will still call me and ask me to pray when trouble comes their way. The old saying is correct: there are no atheists in fox holes. When our lives are threatened, we pray. It is built into our very being to cry out to God when we are at the end of the rope. But is that all prayer is? Is talking with God only for desperate people in desperate moments? We have all said prayers that go something like this: “God – it’s me – I know it’s been a while – but I need your help – if you will come through for me, I will …” Is that all there is to prayer? Or is there more? Some of us pray at regular, routine places in life. We say a blessing before the holiday meal. We say the rosary for confession. We say the Lord’s Prayer at church. We may even pray with the kids at bedtime. We definitely pray for them to go to sleep so we can have some peace and quiet! We ask God to help our favorite sports teams. We pray for God to change our wife or husband when they are driving us nuts – which can be regularly. We ask for guidance before major decisions. Some of us pray daily. We have a prayer list. We have a prayer time. We take prayer seriously. Some of us even attend prayer meetings or participate in prayer groups. Our prayer time is almost, always us doing all the talking with God doing all the listening – but we do pray. And a few of us have discovered another kind of prayer altogether. It is prayer where we talk very little so that God can talk volumes. It is prayer where we do the listening so that the One who knows all can do the speaking. It is prayer that builds a deep

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relationship with God. It is prayer that builds character and obedience into our lives. It is prayer that changes our lives and our very understanding of who God is and how He works. Everyone prays. Few ever experience this kind of listening prayer. If your soul aches for a relationship with God where He speaks to you – read on. Prayerfully! The Format I first wrote this book as a student of Chair Time. I took what I had learned from Mike Grubbs, whom I will introduce in the following pages, and began to learn what it meant to listen to God. There are two changes in this second and newer edition of Chair Time. First, I am including Mike’s additions. These sections will be written in italics and will include what Mike taught me along the way. I encourage you to listen carefully to the “Mike’s coaching” sections of this book. Mike has been practicing the Chair Time principal of listening to God for decades. He is miles ahead of me! Second, I am including some new insights learned over the last few years. For me, learning to listen to God has been and continues to be a journey. There is a day coming when Christ followers will talk with God face to face in Heaven. Until then, we all can learn to hear His voice in the hear and now. If you are hungry to hear from God … read on!

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The Start

Mike may be the perfect life coach. He prays for me big time. He encourages me constantly. He knows the scripture better than any Christ follower I have ever met. He is a total character. In fact, he reminds me of an eccentric, old testament prophet – think Elijah or Isaiah or Ezekiel. He has the gift of wisdom. He is just plain funny and he loves to laugh! And best of all – he has absolutely no qualms about looking me in the eye and saying the tough things I need to hear. He loves me – and I love him. Mike has been my life coach – meaning he helps coach me through the rough spots in life – for fifteen years. We began this relationship while we both lived in Charlotte, North Carolina. When I moved to Kansas City, Kansas to pastor a different church eleven years ago, I would fly him out for two or three days twice a year so we could get some time together. That is how much his coaching and friendship mean to me. During one of our two or three day visits a few years back, I was telling Mike that I had lost my steam. I was tired. I was frustrated. My spiritual life was flat. I was wondering if God had another assignment for me in another church. I did not use the “d” word – depressed – but that is what was going on. Mike listened attentively while I moaned and groaned. When I finished, he said “tell me about your prayer time.” I defensively responded, “I am still praying, Mike!” “I know you are still praying,” he answered. “Tell me about your prayer time.” So I told him. I told him about sitting on my back porch, or in my garage when it was raining or cold, and talking to God. I told him about my prayer list, my prayer time, and my many prayer requests that I laid at God’s feet. When I thought I had done a great job of describing my more than adequate prayer life, I paused and looked up at Mike. He said, “Thanks for telling me about how you talk to God. Now tell me about how you listen to God. Tell me about how He talks to you.” I paused. Then I stammered, stuttered, and talked around his question until I finally said, “I spend most of my prayer time talking to God rather than listening.”

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Mike is one of the best question askers I have ever known. He looked at me and asked, “If you and I are in a conversation, who should do most of the talking?” I responded with a question. “The one who needs to talk the most?” He shook his head in disagreement and answered his own question. “The one who knows the most about the subject being discussed should do most of the talking in any conversation.” I had two instantaneous reactions. The first was to go back to my childhood – when my dad had told me repeatedly that the one who knew the most should talk the most. Dad had told me that in an effort to get me to talk less and listen more. And my second reaction was to realize that Mike was telling me the same thing. When it comes to prayer, the one who know the most should do most of the talking. Wow! I saw it immediately. My prayer times had become me doing all the talking with God doing all the listening. I was spending my time with the Almighty Ruler of the universe, telling Him what I wanted and needed Him to do instead of listening to Him tell me what He wanted me to do. The next moment was crucial. I said “Mike – I have been a Christ follower for 38 years and a pastor for 37 years – but I do not know how to pray where I do most of the listening and God does the talking.” He smiled like a cat that had cornered the mouse and said “I do – and I can teach it to you.” And so began the journey …

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The Premise

Mike looked at me and began to talk about the assignment before me. His talk was brief and to the point – and I will never forget it. He covered two things: the premise and the assignment. “Dan, I want you to read this verse for me. Read Ephesians 2:6 out loud.” Mike handed me his phone with the verse already on it. I read it. “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms with Christ Jesus.” Mike continued with his questions. He has always understood that it is better to lead someone to discover the truth than it is to just tell them the truth. He is a great question asker. Here is the jest of what I learned in that conversation. I remember this conversation about this verse of scriopture from eight years ago like it was yesterday. “Let’s get analytical. Who is the “us” in this verse? The “us” in that verse refers to all believers. All who have bowed the knee in surrender to Christ. All who are Christ Followers. Past, present and future – everyone that has ever and will ever follow Jesus is included. What does the verse say we (all the believers) are doing? We are sitting. Sitting! What do you have to possess to be sitting? A chair! You got it! Every believer has a chair. Now let’s get practical. Where are all these believers? The verse says that we are seated with Christ in heaven. Hmmm. If I am still here on earth, serving Jesus on this side of heaven, how can I also be seated with Christ in heaven? God has “seated” you in your chair in the front row at the throne or God. Prayer time does not begin with you on earth telling God how to fix your problems. That is “bottom up” thinking. Prayer time begins with you being seated in your chair, at the throne of God, and listening to what the Almighty has to say to you. That is “top down” thinking. Some of you are thinking “how can I be here on earth and seated in Heaven at the same time? I asked Mike the same question. He answered with a story:

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Let’s say I want to take my wife to a special place for dinner for our anniversary. I want a special table overlooking the lake at our favorite fancy go-here-only-on-special-occasions restaurant. I call ahead. I make a reservation in weeks in advance. I ask for a certain date. I even ask for a certain table and a certain time. When our anniversary comes, we head to the restaurant. The Matre’D greets us, gets our name and takes us to our seats. He already knows which seat is ours. He has been planning on our arrival. We are already “seated” in his mind, even as we come into the restaurant. This blew my mind! The God of the universe invites me to come into His presence in the throne room of Heaven. The place where God the Father Himself is seated. And in God’s mind – which is the mind that counts – I am already seated there. Now it gets fun. Picture this. Picture heaven as having an enormous throne. Picture that throne as 100 miles wide by 100 miles deep by 100 miles high. And God the Father sits on that throne. And He faces out in every direction from that throne. Jesus the Son stands beside the throne, praying and interceding for us. Got the picture? Stop reading for a moment, close your eyes, and try to picture this enormous throne in the center of heaven. Now add an element to the picture. Around that huge throne, start adding a row of chairs. There is one row around that throne. Then add a row above it and below it – but still just one row deep around the throne. Now step back and picture that throne with all those chairs it from a short distance away. Wow! What a picture - this huge throne of God, with a front row chair for every believer that has ever lived. Now let’s get personal on this. Center your focus on one chair. Zoom in to that one chair. Notice anything? Look on the back of the chair. Yep – you got it! Your name is on that chair. There is a chair in heaven in the front row at the throne of God. It is your chair. It has your name on it. It fits your backside. No one can sit in that chair except you. And you can go to that chair any time you want. Why would you go to that chair? To talk to God? No! I may not know much, but I can guarantee you this. When you are seated in the front row before the throne of God, you will not be talking! You may fall on your knees! You may gasp in amazement! You may raise your hands in worship! But you won’t be talking! You will be listening to what God has to say to you.

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Is your mind running ahead of me? Are you getting the picture? Does that phrase “chair time” now make sense? The premise is simple. The God of this universe wants to talk with you so much that He has reserved a front row seat for you at His throne in Heaven. You can go there anytime you want. You can sit at His feet, feel His embrace, and hear His voice any time you want. All you need to do is sit in the chair. Wow!

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The Assignment

After blowing my mind with the premise behind prayer time, Mike the life coach continued to teach me. “I want you to set aside thirty minutes a day to listen to God. I usually tell people to do fifteen minutes – but you are stubborn and will need thirty. For this thirty minutes, I want you to be still and listen to God. Don’t bring your prayer list – you know how to talk to God. Don’t bring your Bible – you know enough Scripture to change the world. Just you. And don’t talk to God except to say, ‘Here I am Lord – speak to me.’ And then shut up and listen.” “I want you to sit in the same chair at the same time of day. This is a date with God. Don’t stand Him up! Don’t blow Him off! Show up and shut up. He will do the talking.” When Mike finished, he turned and asked one more question. “Will you make a thirty day commitment to do this for thirty minutes a day?” I reluctantly said yes. I wanted to believe it would work. I needed to believe that it would work. I was desperate to believe it would work. So I said yes. And the assignment began that day. Mike got on his plane and went back home to Charlotte. And I got on my porch every evening after dinner and spent thirty minutes trying to listen to God. For those of you who are ready to try this, here is my recommendation. Few of you need to start with thirty minutes. I did that – but I am as stubborn as a mule. For most people, fifteen minutes is a great start. Start with 15 minutes in the same chair in the same spot at the same time each day. It needs to be a quiet spot where you will not be interrupted. Make it your date with God. As you practice chair time, it will become a sacred time, a sacred place and a sacred practice. Not convinced yet? Read on!

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The First Month It took me almost a month of chair time for anything to happen. That may be because I am a bit slow. But I have since heard from many of my friends that it took a while for them as well. Here is how my first month went I did as Mike had taught me. I chose a chair. I chose a place on my back porch. I chose a time – right after dinner. I started my thirty minutes of chair time with about sixty seconds of “Here I am, Jesus – please speak to me” and then I went silent. I saw improvements in my hearing and in my seeing immediately. My hearing got much more sensitive. I heard the birds tweeting. I heard the tree frogs singing. I heard the locust making their fuss. I heard a dog bark in the distance. I heard my neighbors fight next door (from inside their house). I heard a truck honk far away. My seeing got sharper as well. I saw some great sunsets. I noticed the different kinds of trees along the creek. I saw two deer. I saw airplanes. I saw the moon. I even saw stars. What I did not hear was the voice of God, and what I did not see was this making any difference in my prayer life. So two weeks into this commitment, I called Mike and said, “This ain’t working, bro. Been at this two weeks – no God experience.” He asked, “Are you being quiet and listening for God?” I affirmed that I was. So he said, “You promised me thirty days – stay at it.” So I did. Another week passed. Still no word from God. I called Mike again and said “I am done with this. I am not hearing a thing.” Mike did not relent. He reminded me that I had committed to thirty days and he expected me to keep that commitment. So I kept going.

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And then – on the first night of the fourth week – it happened! I have never heard the audible voice of God – and I did not hear it that night. I have friends that have heard the audible voice of God. I have not had that experience. But I did heart from Him. I was sitting in silence and thinking in my spirit, “I want to hear from You God, so please speak to me” when it happened. A thought flew quickly and clearly across my mind. It was as if God wrote it on one of those electronic billboards and then displayed it straight into my soul. The Father said to me “Welcome home, Son. I have been missing you.” For the next fifteen minutes I heard that whispered into my spirit over and over and over again. My Father was welcoming me home. My Father had missed me. My Father wanted me in that chair. It was like rain falling into my parched soul. It was as if He was embracing me and whispering into my ear over and over and over again that He loved me and that He had missed me. It brought tears to my eyes and joy to my soul. I had heard from God. He loved me. He missed me. And wow! I had missed Him! I have been in that chair every night since for the past eight years. I don’t miss my chair time. I literally don’t miss it. That chair time with God has become the single most important thing in my life. Once you have heard God speak into your spirit and your life, you will go back to the chair again and again. “Welcome home, Son. I have been missing you.” That is the first thing I heard God say to me. Wonder what He wants to say to you?

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Learning to Spin Off Once I heard God speak to me during my chair time, I was hooked! But I was still struggling with keeping my mind on track. Here is what I have learned. It is totally true that we have to learn to get still and quiet in order to hear from God. This is why God tells us in the Psalms: “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 I love the story of Elijah the prophet who is waiting to hear from God about the man who will replace him and carry on the ministry. It is found in 1 King 19. Elijah asks God to speak to him. Elijah goes through a great storm – and God does not speak in the storm. He experiences an earthquake – but God does speak in the earthquake. He sees a great fire – but again, God does not speak in the fire. Finally, he hears God in a still, small voice – in a gentle whisper. God will use a 2 by 4 to get our attention when nothing else works. But He prefers to be able to whisper into our ear through a still, small voice. We have to learn to get quiet in order to hear that gentle whisper of the Spirit of God. If you are already into your chair time, you have no doubt experienced by now that the minute your body gets still, your mind and heart kick into high gear. Your mind brings up all the things you have to do, while your heart reminds you of all the things you are worried or concerned about. One of the challenges of being still is dealing with these issues. Within the Quaker faith, there is a great deal of teaching about the concept of “centering down.” It is a way of dealing with the minds desire when we get still to push us towards reflection and thinking. The point of chair time is not to reflect and think – but to clear your mind and heart so you can hear from God. I have developed my own practice out of what I have learned from the Quakers that I call “spinning off.” Here is how it works for me. The minute I begin to get still, my mind (my intellect) kicks into gear and reminds me of all kinds of things: What is still on my to do list What I need to get done tomorrow What I forgot to get done today The conversation I had earlier in the day The conversation I need to have tomorrow The bills that I need to pay The shopping list I need to make

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Again – it is natural for the mind to take advantage of you being still and kick into high gear. The heart (my emotions) does the same thing. The minute I get still, I can be moved to emotions about:

My recent hurt My recent loss Anything I am worried about My friends who are struggling How tired I am How depressed I am How frustrated I am

What is happening between the mind and the heart is actually counter productive. You are trying to get still to hear from God. And yet your mind and heart are racing ahead, making you not want to sit still at all. This is where spinning out comes into play. Picture that you are trying to center down – to get to the place where your body, your mind and your heart are all still so you can hear from God. I start out by praying “Jesus – I want to hear from You today. Help me to center down. Help me to spin off any distractions that come to mind.” Then as I get still, something will pop into my head or my heart. I think about it for a moment, make a plan to deal with it later, and then spin it off. I literally picture it leaving my mind or my heart and spinning away. When the next worry or thought or hurt comes to me, I do the same thing. After a few moments of allowing the thoughts and feelings from my day come to the surface and spinning them off, I begin to get still and quiet enough in my mind and in my heart that I can hear from God. I often think through phrases like these to help me spin off:

“I can’t fix that right now – I will deal with it later.” “I am concerned about that – but God I trust You with it.” “I do need to get that done – but not right now.” “I do need some time to process that – but that is for another day.”

My experience is that when I learn to practice centering down by spinning off the thoughts from my head and the feelings from my heart, I get still enough and quiet enough to hear that still, small voice of God. And that is the whole point of chair time!

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Mike’s coaching: Psalm 103 is a great passage on this idea of spinning off your thoughts in order to begin thinking top. Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5 David is literally speaking to his soul. He is commanding his soul to praise God. I suspect that David’s soul (his mind, his will and his emotions) were doing what we normally do when we try to focus on listening to God. He was thinking about anything and everything. His mind was on overdrive. His will was determined to get it all done and done right. His emotions were all over the place. Sound familiar? But David knew that He needed to focus on the Lord. He knew he needed to praise and bless God. So he commanded his soul (again – his mind, his will and his emotions) to do one thing: to praise God! He instructs his soul to focus on the Almighty. We can all do this! This is what Dan was learning to do in his “spinning off” of those things that were occupying his “bottom-up” prayers. You have to push aside what is on your mind and what is your plan and whatever you are feeling and focus on hearing God. The end result is that God “satisfies your desires with good things and renews your youth like the eagle.” The great news is that God wants you to hear Him more than you want to hear Him. The great news is God wants to talk to you more than you want to talk to Him. The great news is that God will teach you to spin off your distractions and focus on Him.

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The Switch For years, I have listened to Christ Followers moan and bellyache about how tough life is. In fact – I have joined in. Have you ever heard anyone say any of these phrases? Have you ever used them yourself?

I am so tired. I am just exhausted. I am at my wits end. I am stressed out. I am burned out. I am worn out. I am worried. I am depressed. Life is so hard. Life is really tough right now. I just can’t handle this.

The church I teach will tell you that I call these people “gloom, despair and agony on me” Christians. My dad referred to them as people that are so unhappy that “you could not please them if you hung them with a new rope.” The problem is this: I have the ability to become one of those unhappy, complaining Christians as well. Been there. Done that. Got that tendency in me. Here is my new point of view since learning about and experiencing chair time. It is a big truth to me. The issue is not that we are stressed out, burned out or worn out. The issue is that we are not getting enough chair time. Worn out? Get some time in the chair with the Giver of Life! Tired? Jesus said, “Come to me when you are weak and tired, and I will give you rest.” Depressed? Sit in the chair at the feet of the one who is our Hope! Always at the end of your rope? Talk with the one who has unlimited resources. Don’t know what to do? How about some chair time with the Wisdom of the Ages! I do not mean to oversimplify the complexities of the struggles and problems of this life. But I am trying to make this simple point. I have never seen more Christians in “moan

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and groan” mode than I see right now. And I have never seen fewer Christians having significant chair time where we listen to God. And when I put the two together … I have personally experienced a switch being thrown in my life. When my chair time became regular, and when I began to hear from God, my entire attitude changed. I have gone from complaining about what I can’t do to focusing on what I can do. I am literally experiencing the biggest personal renewal in my 40 years of following Christ. The switch has been flipped through my chair time with God!

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The Shift Mike’s coaching: Part of learning to listen to God in prayer has to do with a major shift in our thinking. We have been taught to think “bottom-up.” We tend to begin with ourselves – with “we” or with “me” in our thinking. We consider a problem and then decide what “we” need to do about it. We see an unhealthy situation and determine how “we” need to make it better. We find ourselves in a mess and we calculate how “we” can best fix it. When we get in a difficult spot in a relationship, we consider what “we” need to change – or better still, how “we” can get someone else to change. Our thinking in life starts with us – with me – with we. This is the very essence of being human. We default to being self-centered, to seeing life from the “bottom-up.” This is the reason we tend to do most or all of the talking in our prayer time. We are “bottom up” thinkers. We thing the point of prayer time is tell God what is on our minds rather than to discover what is on His mind! What we need is a shift in thinking. Romans 12:2 tells us “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” The pattern of this world mentioned in this verse is “bottom-up” thinking. We start with us. We start with our perspective. We start from our way of thinking. But to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind” we have to start thinking “top-down.” We have to start with asking “What is God doing here? What is He up to? What is He trying to say to me? What is His plan, His will?” Isaiah 55:8-9 helps us grab what “top-down” thinking means:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

It is only when we ask for His thoughts that we begin to think “top down.” It is only when we learn to listen that we can discover His ways rather than our ways. It is only when we let God start the conversation that we can join Him in His plan for our lives.

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Other Lessons Learned The old saying that “practice makes perfect” is well intended - but not true. Nothing makes us perfect this side of heaven. But practice does, in fact, lead to improvement. All talents and skills must be honed through practice. Without putting them into practice, they atrophy and fade away. I once stood in front of my congregation on a Sunday morning and asked “How many of you played a musical instrument at some point in your life?” The majority of the crowd raised their hands. Then I asked a follow up question: “How many of you play well enough that we should put you in the worship band?” The vast majority of the hands went down quickly. What happened to those learned musical skills? They died from lack of use! They atrophied from lack of practice. What you don’t use, you will lose. I am only five years into this practice of chair time. I have prayed for four decades – if you mean by prayer the part where I do all the talking and God does all the listening. But I have only added this chair time for listening to God in the last five years. I am far from an expert! But I have learned several lessons in these five years that have helped me and helped others along the way. The first lesson: Stay at it! Are there days that I hear from God? Yes – and thankfully, that is happening more and more often. Are there days where I do my chair time and do not hear from God – without a doubt. That is ok! It seems to me that 21st century Christ followers suffer from what I call “instant” mentality. We want things fast! We want fast food. We want instant access to our favorite TV 24 hours a day. We live fast, drive fast, and worship fast. We live in an instantaneous world. It is all about speed. When we translate that to our spiritual growth, we want that to be fast as well. We seem to believe that we can be total pagans one moment and Billy Graham the next. It does not work that way. Learning to hear from God is a practice that takes time. It is a spiritual discipline that must be developed. Stat at it! Don’t give up! If you keep being faithful to show up for your chair time, God will honor that and speak up. The second lesson: God is always speaking.

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Throughout the Scripture, God speaks. God spoke the world into existence in the first chapters of Genesis. He spoke to and through Moses to give us His top-ten list of principles to live by in Exodus 20. He spoke through the prophets of the Old Testament to His people. Jesus is called “The Word” in John chapter 1. John writes that Jesus speaks what He hears from the Father for He has the Spirit without limit. I believe God wants to speak to us “without limit.” The biggest factor in us hearing from God is not whether He is speaking. The biggest factor is whether we are listening. God is always speaking. Why does this matter? If you are not careful, you will see your chair time as you trying to get God to speak. When you realize He is speaking to us all the time, you will see your chair time as you trying to get still so that you can hear God speak. Me getting still enough to hear from God is something I control. Me getting God to speak is way out of my control! If you have been having chair time for several months and are not hearing from God, let me suggest that the issue is on your end – not on God’s end. Try checking out these three things:

• Are you getting still, centering down and spinning off? • Have you picked up the old habit of doing all the talking instead of listening? • Is there a sin in the way? God will not give you new truth when you are not

practicing the truth He has already given. The third lesson: Journal what God is saying to you. I have never been much on journaling because I always thought of it as some sort of spiritual diary. Seems to be about as vital as thinking about the lint in your naval. But I must say, journaling what God says to you during your chair time is a great, life-changing idea. I encourage you to go for it! Write out and date what He says to you. Journaling will enable you go in the months and years to come and see your progress and thank Him big time for speaking to you! The fourth lesson: Make it work for you. I have a rule as a pastor that I do not teach a truth to my church until I have been practicing that truth for a year. I do believe God continues to teach us all new truths as we practice the truth He has already given us. But I also know the power of a truth is that I have lived it and then teach it. I can tell you a truth without living it. I cannot model

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and teach you that truth until it is mine. The Jews of Jesus day had a saying: “You do not know a truth until you have lived it for a year.” I believe that to be true. After I had been practicing my chair time for a year, I shared it with my church of five thousand. About thirty or so said, “Been doing chair time for a while” and hundreds of others started doing their own chair time. It has been life changing for our church, and the phrase “chair time” has become standard fare. Both groups – those who had been doing it for a time and those who started doing it – began sending me pictures of their chairs and sharing descriptions of their chair time practices. I loved their creativity! One friend had his chair time in a sunroom; another in his truck on his thirty minute drive to work; yet another in the basement. Some listened to music during their chair time; others set in silence. Some tried my practice of starting a fire and sitting around it on the porch during their chair time. The point is this: make it work for you! Personalize it. Get creative. Find what works for you. There is no magic formula. The point is to get still and get where you can hear from God. Mike’s coaching: the fifth lesson. Go to the chair with confidence! We cannot forget that we have been invited to the chair by God Almighty. This should give us boldness and confidence. “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help is in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 God invites us to come and sit with Him – and then promises that if we do so, He will give us mercy and grace and help. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 When we go to the chair, we go with confidence, because we have been invited. We do not go to the chair with our head hung low, wringing our hands, worried about our mess. We go cleansed by the blood of Jesus who has completed and permanently removed our sin. We do because we are confident of His love for us. We go because we love Him and have need of Him and his mercy and grace and direction. He always saves us – because He is the Savior. He always heals us – because He is the healer. He always changes us – because He is the Sanctifier. He always leads us – because He is the Lord.

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And He always welcomes us – because He is the Father and we are His children.

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Two Questions

Since teaching on this subject three years ago at our church, I am now hearing constantly from quite a number of people who are practicing chair time as a regular way to spend time with God in prayer. I have been asking them “So how is your chair time going?” When I hear back “It’s going great!” I follow up with two specific questions. What is Jesus telling you? What are you going to do about it? Those two questions are life changers – so allow me to elaborate a bit on each of them. First chair time question: What is Jesus telling you? The point of chair time is to give you a simple way to practice the spiritual discipline of listening to God. As I mentioned earlier, most of us – if not all of us – have a tendency to do most of the talking in our prayer time. The design of chair time is to deliberately flip that balance around so that we are doing most of the listening and God is doing most of the talking. When someone tells me that their chair time is really working, I jump on the opportunity to dig deeper. I immediately say to them, “That is awesome – what is Jesus telling you?” In other words, I am asking them to be specific about what they are hearing from God. Why does that matter? Because the goal of this chair time is not just to feel good about spending time sitting at the throne of God. That is a good thing. But the better thing is to actually hear from God. The better thing is to be taught by Him. The better thing is to walk out of that time in the chair with a clear understanding of what He just said to you. There are many ways to ask your self or to ask others this question: What is Jesus telling you? What is Jesus teaching you? What is Jesus showing you? What are you hearing from God? It is a good thing for all of us to verbalize what God is telling us because it causes us to realize how awesome it is to hear from God and to be able to articulate what He has said! Paul tells us in Romans 10:17 the value of hearing the Word of God:

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“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” That passage is clearly telling us that our faith is built when we hear the word of God taught. But it is equally true that our faith is built when we share with others what God is telling us. I have been blessed by the experience many times of the men in my fireside groups (the two accountability groups I am part of) asking me what God is telling me in my chair time. When I hear myself verbalize what God has been saying – literally when I hear it come out of my own mouth – it becomes even more alive for me. It builds my faith. If the point of chair time is to hear from God, then we need to tell others and be asked by others “What is Jesus telling you?” The first major question of chair time is “What is Jesus telling you?” Second chair time question: What are you going to do about it? The first question forces a personal response: God has told me this. But this second question forces a practical response: this is what I am going to do about it. We need personal and practical. But it is the practical that puts truth into play. It is truly an awesome thing when God speaks to us, directs us, or encourages us personally. It builds faith - big time. But it is even more awesome when we do something about it – because then the truth takes on life changing power. Hearing the truth is only half the battle. Obeying the truth is where the battle is real! Time and time again in the gospels, Jesus gave personal words of truth to those who were following Him. Many heard the truth but turned away without acting upon it. Jesus taught about this very thing in the parable of the soils. He compares those who hear the truth but do not act on it as follows:

“The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.” Matthew 13:19-21

We have all done this! We get excited when we hear from God and “receive it with joy.” But because we do not apply it, that word from God will only last a short time. When trouble comes, we fall right back into our normal pattern. We go right back to being the same way we were before we heard God speak.

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It is not hearing from God that changes our lives. It is applying what we hear from God that changes our lives.

There are many ways to ask yourself or others the “What are you going to do about it” question. What are you going to do about that? How are you going to apply that truth? What changes will you need to make in light of that truth? How can I pray for you as you walk in that truth? There is a reason that James gives us this amazing challenge: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22 (NKJV) When we hear from God and think we are done – that is self-deceit. When we hear from God and put it into practice – that is a huge win! If you want to get the right answers – you have to ask the right questions. These two questions matter! Let’s use them! Mike’s coaching: When we hear from God, learning what He wants us to do, and then we put it into practice in our everyday lives, everything changes. Ephesians says it this way: “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:14-16 When most of our prayer time is dominated by telling God what we think, feel and want, we are stuck in “bottom-up” praying. We are left confused and unsure of our next steps. We may even deceive ourselves into thinking we are acting on God’s behalf. But when we hear from God Himself, by practicing “top-down” praying, we get clear direction from God as to what He wants us to do. And when we act on what Jesus is telling us to do, we begin to grow and mature. It all comes from Jesus, our head. As we put his direction into action, we are building up the body of Christ, our brothers and sisters, our churches. We are building His Kingdom – both in us and through us. It is only by asking “Jesus what are you saying to me” and “Jesus what do you want me to do about this” that we are changed to be like Christ. It is all about obedience.

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WOW NOW HOW I am an outline kind of guy. I am like the old preacher who always had three points and a poem in every sermon – except I rarely use the poem. I think in outlines. I dream in outlines. I teach in outlines. And, I must confess, I use an outline in my chair time. Since I just challenged you to make your chair time for you – which means personalize it – let me share my own personalized outline for my chair time. I call it “wow/now/how” and it is ridiculously simple and easy to follow. Wow

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I start my chair time with a couple of minutes of “wow” where I do the talking. The theme of this “wow” time is simple: I want to celebrate what Jesus has done for me. I start with a moment of silence, picturing that I am taking my seat in my personalized chair in the front row of the throne of God. And then my “wow” time begins. It often sounds something like this: “Wow, Jesus – you rock! I am wowed and awed by all that you have done for me. You love me, Jesus – that is incredible. You even like me, Jesus. You made me like I am! You wooed me, saved me and are still working on me to make me more like you! You are awesome Jesus. And You use me! You allow me to partner with You in Your Kingdom work! I am totally wowed by You!” You get the drift. It is a heart felt, unrehearsed, free flowing two minutes of bragging on and loving on Jesus. Why start with “wow” in every chair time? Scripture tells us that the fastest way into His presence is through praise and thanksgiving. “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless His name.” Psalm 100:4 (KJV) If you are going to take your seat in your chair in the front row of the throne room of Heaven to talk with the King of Kings – you might want to start with some “wow” words! The focus of my “wow” time is, “God you rock – and You are worth listening to!” My “wow” time is 2-3 minutes. I keep it short because I am on a quest to hear from God, which leads me to … Now My now time starts with a shift of gears where I stop speaking my words of “wow” but keep a worshipful attitude going in my heart. It goes like this: Now I am here in this moment, Jesus, to hear from You. Now I am going to be silent. Now I am going to listen. Now I ask You to speak. Now I ask You to help me to hear You. And I go silent. I quit talking. And I start listening.

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As I have already shared, I almost always spend my first few moments of silence centering down (focusing on His presence) and spinning off (dealing with the issues my mind and my heart bring my way) and just being still. But when my soul finally gets still … I begin to hear Him speak. This “now” time is the majority of my chair time. The focus of my “now” time is, “Jesus, what do You want to say to me?” The focus of my now time is the first of the two big questions we discussed earlier: what is God saying to me? After “now” and “wow” comes … How I warned you ahead of time that my outlines are simple so I can remember them! “How” time comes after I have heard God speak. It is the wrap up phase of my official chair time, but also leaves the door open for me to continue to hear from God throughout the day. The focus of this “how” time is, “What do you want me to do about this?” In other words, “how” time is about the second of the two big questions we discussed earlier: what am I going to do about what God has said to me? There are two possible routes for my “how” time to go. If I have not heard from God in my chair time that day, my “how” time wrap up goes like this: Jesus, thanks for this time. I did not hear from You today. But I am still wowed by You. I still enjoyed spending this time with You. And I am still available for You to speak to me throughout the day. Help me be open to You today. I love You! There are many days where I do not hear from God in my chair time, so this ending is one I practice regularly. If I have heard from God in my chair time that day, my “how” time wrap up changes to something like this: Jesus, thanks for speaking to me today. Thanks for helping me to hear You. I want to apply what You have said to me today. So please show me what to do about what I heard from You. Your book promises that You will give wisdom when I ask for it. So I am asking! Show me what to do about what I now know! I will be listening. Give me a

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chance to apply this truth today – and I will obey You. Help me be looking for You today. I love You! Just as there are many days when I do not hear from God in my chair time, there are many days when I do. So this ending is also one I practice regularly. That is my personalized chair time outline. I use it almost every day. In order to help you get started, I am going to summarize this chair time outline in a single page. You will find this one page outline on the next page in this book. I suggest you take this book with you in your first chair time attempts, and leave it open to this one page outline, so you can refer to it during your chair time. It will quickly work its way into your heart. And don’t be surprised when you find yourself making your own version. Mike’s coaching: Jesus describes His followers with these words: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 Wow/now/how works. And He is waiting for you to give it a try.

CHAIR TIME FLOW

Here is a simple overview of a fifteen minute daily chair time. WOW 2-3 minutes in length You are entering the throne room of heaven. You are taking your seat in your chair in the front row.

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Tell God “Wow!” Enter His presence with thanksgiving and praise. Worship Him. Bless Him. NOW 8-10 minutes in length You are shifting gears in your chair time. You are now quieting down so God can speak to you. Ask God to quiet your soul. Ask God to speak. Center down (focus on His presence). Spin off (dismiss the issues on your mind and in your heart). Be still. HOW 2-3 minutes in length. You are now wrapping up your chair time. But you are leaving the door open so God can continue to speak. Tell God thanks for the time. Tell God you love your dates with Him. Ask Him to continue to speak to you through the day. Tell Him you will obey what He tells you to do. Ask Him to show you how to apply what He has told you. Finish with “See you later, God” or “Talk with You again real soon.”

CHAIR TIME 2.0

I am now starting into my seventh year of practicing chair time and I am still learning more about it. I hesitated a bit to include this chapter. I am calling it “Chair Time 2.0” because it is nuances of chair time that I have learned along the way. I am still learning! If you are just starting into the discipline of chair time you may want to save this chapter for future reading. If you are a person that can read ahead to see what is coming without getting in a hurry to get there – then read on!

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There are three specific nuances I learned in my second year of chair time that I want to share. Sacred Space My first truck was a 1996 Ford F-150. I bought it in 2002 after it had been totaled and rebuilt. I have always had a truck in my soul (I am a Texan after all) but did not own one until I was 46 years old. When I got it, I was in hog heaven! Over the years, I began the practice of praying when I drive. I was still in the “do all the talking” mode of prayer – but I was praying! I noticed that the more I prayed in my old blue truck, the more that truck became special to me. It became a sort of altar on wheels. It became a sacred space – a space where I talked to God. When I began my chair time practice, and learned to focus on what God wanted to say to me instead of what I wanted to say to Him, I followed the advice of my life coach to the letter. Mike said to choose a particular chair and a particular place and a particular time of day for my chair time. I did so. The chair I chose was in the corner of the deck behind our house. That chair became sacred to me! It was the place where I met with and listened to God. Over the last couple of years, my chair has shifted to my garage. Same chair – different sacred space. My neighbors were a bit rowdy, the birds were a bit noisy, and the weather was a bit distracting out on the deck in my back yard. So I shifted sacred space when my first sacred space no longer worked for me. I am now at the point where the minute I sit in that chair in my garage, my soul begins to slow down, my peace begins to go up and my anticipation of what is coming soars! The first time I taught on Chair Time, I received dozens of e-mails from the people that I pastor. Many of them sent me stories of their sacred space. And many included pictures of their chairs! Don’t be surprised when your “chair” becomes a sacred space for you. It has for many who practice chair time. Mobile Chair Time A couple of summers ago, Mary and I decided to take three weeks of vacation all at once. We wanted to check on my parents in Dallas. We wanted to see my siblings.

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And we wanted to retrace our honeymoon route through Arkansas from years earlier. It was a great three weeks! I came to a bit of a crisis the first night we were on the road. We were in a hotel near Stillwater, Oklahoma. We had dinner. I got set to have my daily chair time and realized – I have no garage! I have no chair! My routine is messed up! Since I always have my chair time outside, I headed out of the hotel to find a place to sit. There was not a chair anywhere in sight! This put me in a quandary – until I saw the light. The Walmart light! Across the road from the hotel was a 24-hour Walmart. They would have a lawn chair! They would have something I could use for my prayer time, not only that night, but for the entire trip. I walked across the road and bought an orange and black folding chair (I was in Oklahoma State University country) and had my chair time. That orange and black chair stays in the back of my truck for every out of town trip we make. Chair time can go mobile! Instant Access I have already described how it took me several weeks to get into the routine of centering down (focusing on God’s presence) and spinning off (dealing with the issues my head and heart would bring my way). It took me several weeks for my chair time on the deck and later in the garage to really begin to work. I began to think it was about the routine of the deck/garage. But one day I found myself needing to hear from God while I was away from the house. I needed to hear from Him ASAP. This was not going to wait until my chair time that evening. That day, I discovered that our access to the throne room is instant and available any time and from anywhere. My seat in the front row at the throne of God is reserved for me – it is always available. My God never sleeps not is too busy – He is available. I can have chair time from anywhere in any moment. When I need to hear from God ASAP, I simple go in my mind to my chair before the throne and sit there until I hear from God. You can do this driving down the road. You can do this sitting in your office. You can do this in the middle of almost anything. Chair Time for Others

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A few months back, I was having one of my twice-a-year sessions with Mike, my life coach. He said some profound things to me. At one point, He looked me straight in the eye and said, “You need to hear this – because this is what God told me to say to you.” When we finished that session, and were just hanging out, I commented on how so much of what Mike had said to me over the years seemed like it was straight from God and totally applied to me life. He laughed and said, “That is because it usually is straight from God.” When I asked him to unpack that, he explained that before each of our life coaching sessions, he would sit in the chair and ask God, “Now what do you want me to say to Dan in this session?” He was literally sitting in the chair for me! Let me say immediately that this is advanced stuff. You need to get really good at sitting in the chair and asking God to talk to you about you long before you ask Him to start talking to you about others. But He will do this. He has done this for me. He has literally whispered into my ear things He wants to tell others. You may be thinking “But why doesn’t God just tell them directly?” He does! But they are not always at a place to hear Him clearly. So He sometimes speaks to and through others. Throughout the Scripture, and especially in the Old Testament, God uses those who know how to hear from Him to speak to those who do not know how to hear from Him. Examples abound:

God spoke through Abraham a word for his offspring – Genesis 24:7 God spoke through Jacob a word for his family – Genesis 46:2-4 God spoke through Moses to give us His commandments – Exodus 20 God spoke through an unnamed man about Eli – 1 Samuel 2:27-36 God spoke through Samuel that David would be King – 1 Samuel 16 God spoke through Jeremiah a word for Jerusalem – Jeremiah 30 God spoke through an angel to Zechariah about his family – Luke 1:8-20 God spoke through an angel to Mary about Jesus – Luke 1:26-38 God spoke through an angel to Joseph about his family – Matthew 1:20-24 God spoke through Anna to Joseph and Mary about Jesus – Luke 2:33-38

My personal favorite is when God speaks to the prophet Balaam through his donkey! Since I am a pastor, I am very familiar with God speaking through a donkey on a weekly basis. God will speak to you from time to time about someone else while you are having your chair time. And that is cool beyond belief!

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GOD HAS MORE There is no appropriate ending for this short book on chair time. It has been a revolutionary experience for me and has taught me to listen to God in ways I have never before experienced. I hope and pray that your experiences with chair time do the same for you. So how do you end a book that has no ending? For me, I had one possible ending in mind before I started writing.

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God has more. I am convinced of that truth now more than ever before. God has more! Regardless of where you are in your journey of following Christ – God has more. Regardless of where you are in the process of becoming like Jesus, loving Jesus and sharing Jesus – God has more. Regardless of where you are as a person of prayer, whether you are a rookie just starting out or a seasoned prayer warrior – God has more. I have many favorite Bible verses. My church teases me continually because I am always saying, “This is one of my favorite passages.” But I do have a life verse that has been my focus for the past 25 years. God gave me this verse just before He led me into new experiences with Him. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined – what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 I have seen God do a lot – but He has more. I have heard of God doing a lot – but He has more. I can imagine and dream up God doing a lot – but He has still more. And He has already prepared it for those who love Him. For years, I thought the adventure of prayer was nothing more than my trying to talk God into blessing my stuff. I wanted Him to bless my plans, my efforts, my ministry, my family, and my dreams. Prayer was all about me telling the Almighty what I wanted Him to do. Chair time has taught me to listen to God. And now the adventure of prayer has really begun! I am trying to hear from God. I am trying to join Him in what He has planned and in what He is up to. Prayer has become all me about listening to the Almighty tell me what to do. God has more. Get in the chair - the one with your name on it before the throne of God And buckle up – the ride of a lifetime is about to begin!

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Chair Time: A simple, life-changing way to pray Dan Southerland Original E-book Copyright © 2013 Journey Ministry Inc. This edition E-book Copyright © 2018 Journey Ministry Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.