Caring for Mom at Home: Remember Her Emotional Needs

You may recall my sister Cindy, but when youdo not, let me to give you a simple summary:My sister owned a very successful stuff-managing company for many years, but shegave it up to care for our parents in their lateryears. The timing was right for our parents aswell as my sister definitely wanted her. Alongthe way, Cindy acquired insight.

I'd like to talk about a small but vital piece ofthe insight Cindy recognized while caring forour mother -- the importance of focusing on themental needs of the aging parent/patient, andnever allowing the need for "physical attention"to become your complete relationship.

Once you read Cindy's remarks below, I wouldrecommend that you seek help should you getconsumed together with the "physical caring"only and missing the opportunity to completelybenefit from the psychological and relationship

needs of your loved one.

While caring for my very ill Mom in the final years of her life, she was totally reliant and bound. Witha tracheotomy, she had been sent home due to problems in coming off the ventilator within thehospital that she continued to live with. She had a feeding tube for nutritional support and of course,she had a urinary catheter. The extensive amount of attention that needed to be delivered to Motherevery day was overwhelming sometimes. It was important to keep catheter website, the tracheotomywebsite, as well as the feeding tube website really clean to prevent illness. Along with altering andbathing her constantly, it was a very busy 24 hours for me personally.

However there was something I tended to forget. When you're ensuring you get it right and sofocused on a your loved one's attention, you will often forget about the psychological demands ofyour loved one. Below are some things I learned:

Ensure their room is bright with lots of keepsakes about. Attempt to reminisce together regardingthe importance of a certain keepsake and allow them to tell you stories of its own importance.

When possible, have their bed near a window so they can look out. My mom loved the squirrels andbirds we fed outside her window. Place pictures of the favorite scenes in their field of vision if nowindow is available.

Listen with their history. My mom especially liked me to listen to her talk about her service in WWIIas a Morse code operator and viewing VHS movies with her about the war.

Take time for attractiveness! I learned to spend extra hours brushing my mom's hair, applying thelotions she loved, and filing her nails.

Cease and spend together time. Occasionally my mommy merely needed me to sit with her and holdher hand. She loved me reading to her until she fell asleep.

Toward the finish of Mom's time she said to me, "Please hug me, no one has embraced me lately." Itbroke my heart to think I'd missed this very unique part of her care. With all the day-to-day workthat was ongoing to make sure her physical care was finished, I'd forgotten one of the veryimportant elements of care giving - adoring and spending mother -daughter time with my Mom.

If you find yourself in a situation such as this, where you are administering so much physicalattention that there does not seem to be hours or energy left to stop and spend time with your lovedone, please seek help. Being a real caregiver might be challenging. There are health professionalservices that may allow you that time you and your loved one truly want so you can be a daughteragain.

Home Care