Building Trusting Relationships - etouches Trusting Relationships Jennifer Bateman, ... • Meet greet the kids outside ... (playbreaks, energizers, icebreakers, community builders;

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  • Building Trusting RelationshipsJennifer Bateman, Ph.D.National Vice President, Health, Wellness &

  • To learn new strategies and practices that promote the development of healthy relationships across the Center day

    Session Objective

  • Active Introductions

    Pair up with one other person whom you dont know

    Take 2 minutes to interview that person about Question #1

    Write your partners response in the top left quadrant

    Switch roles and repeat

  • Provide a safe, positive environment

    Create fun and a sense of belonging

    Build supportive relationships

    Set high expectations and provide new


    Provide formal and informal recognition

  • How we communicate.

    How we connect with each other.

    How we relate to each other

    How we work with each other.

    How we see ourselves.

    How we feel.

    How we deal with conflict.

    How we make decisions.

    How we cope.How we adult.

  • Healthy

    Relationship with





    Relationship with


    Adult Connections

    Youth Connections



  • You cant teach the mind until

    you reach the heart

  • The goal of all behavior is to find belonging and significance.

    Behavior is communication. There are reasons children and youth do what they do. There is a belief or a need behind every behavior. Respond accordingly.

    Youth do better when they feel better, not when they feel worse.

    Children and youth learn and become equipped for life from a system that promotes their responsibility rather than leaving it all to the adult.

    The goal of discipline is to solve problems and teach, not to make children and youth suffer for their misbehavior.

    Speak only in the positive.

    Be demanding but never demeaning.

    Relationships & Behavior Basics

  • Behavior Management Basics

    Teach the behavior you want to see

    Give them your time

    Listen without talking

    Involve youth in planning

    Give them roles / tasks that provide a feeling of belonging & significance

    See challenging behaviors as opportunities for learning

    If you say it, mean it and if you mean it, follow through

  • Behavior Management Basics

    Ask what & how questions instead of why

    Teach strategies -

    Let the youth help design and use their time out or cool off area

    You can figure it out. Come back with your plan

    Reflection (of feelings): I feel.Now I will.I learned..

    Go beyond consequences / brainstorm for solutions

    Small steps. Look for progress not perfection.

    Look for, identify and encourage effort

  • Relationship


    Across the

    Center Day



    Pick Up


    Unstructured Time

  • Practice What You PreachThe 5 Key Elements for Staff or the Optimal Staff Experience

  • Practice What You Preach

    What does it look like for you to feel supported at work? By your

    supervisor and by other staff members?

    As a staff team, how do you practice relationship building with one


    Why is it important for you to also experience supportive and healthy

    relationships at work?

  • Relationship Building Among Staff

    Co-create the culture

    Build a collaborative

    Create a culture deck

    Time to connect stand up meetings (Personal peak and valley, Today I

    am focusing on, I could use your support in doing)

    Get to Know Your Staff wall

    Share accountability for team building

  • Relationship Building Among Staff

    Learn together

    Idea labs, lunch-and-learns

    Build a culture around staff meetings; share facilitation

    Create a culture of yes - set the parameters and allow people to innovative

    within them

    Create systems for recognition

    At staff meetings WoWs, You Rock, Pat on the Back, Affirmative Fold-ups

    High five staff recognition wall

  • Relationship Building Among Staff

    With your group, share ideas for building relationships among staff.

    What have you tried or experienced that you like?

    What new ideas do you have?

  • Whole Center Strategies

    Work as a staff team to identify and implement shared strategies for building


    Build accountability

    Make relationship building with youth and parents part of the job description

    Make relationship building with youth and parents part of staffs performance


    Come up with shared strategies

    Staff development meetings (vs staff meetings)

    Identify key practices that all staff will use the asset jar, staff-youth

    relationship mapping exercise

  • Have you experienced other ways staff have been brought or come together to focus on how to better improve relationship building?

    Whole Center Strategies

  • Arrival & PickupArrival:

    Know youth individually


    Individual handshakes

    Ask an individual open-ended question (Tell me about your visit with

    your grandpa)

    First moments matter

    Meet & greet the kids outside

    Have a theme of the day/week with a prompt at the entry

    Active entries

    Routine for youth to identify their emotions

    Kindness jar

    First visits matter

    Youth led welcome committee

    New member buddy system

  • Arrival & Pickup

    Pickup / Departure:

    Closure is key

    Say goodbye to every youth individually

    Share one thing they did well that day

    Identify one thing you are looking forward to doing tomorrow together

    Engage every caregiver

    Set, share and enforce parent pickup engagement expectations (e.g., no cell


    Share one positive thing that their child did or demonstrated that day in front of the


    Make parent/caregiver engagement every staff members responsibility

  • Arrival & Pickup

    With your group, share ideas enhancing relationship building during arrival and departure times.

    What have you tried or experienced that you like?

    What new ideas do you have?

  • Transitions & Down TimeTransitions

    Create a living physical environment

    Meaningful walls

    Graffiti walls

    Hallway prompts

    Floor decals

    Engaging transitions

    Active transitions

    Problem-solving transitions (human knot)

    Reflective transitions (One technique I use to calm down;

    One person I can go to for help in my life; One positive thing

    I tell myself when things are hard)

    Get to know everyone prompts (Where in the world would you

    like to visit?)

    Build your own transitions (Harriett Tubman)

    Center theme transitions

  • Transitions & Down Time

    Down time IS relationship building time

    Teambuilding time (playbreaks, energizers, icebreakers, community

    builders; YDToolbox)

    Recognition (high-five recognition wall)

    Gratitude (gratitude practices)

    Reflection (reflection jar)

    Small group or 1:1 conversations

    Open ended questions

    Ask about feelings (How does that make you feel?)

    3 circles of communication

    Reflect back what they are saying

    (So it sounds like you are)

  • Transitions & Downtime

    With your group, share ideas enhancing relationship building during transitions and downtimes.

    What have you tried or experienced that you like?

    What new ideas do you have?

  • Transitions & Downtime

    What is one idea or strategy that you will take away from our time together today?

    Using the pipe cleaners provided, create a symbol or sculpture that represents that one takeaway.